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两千万
Zuko was almost two years old when he took his first steps. His mother had just had the baby, and she was nursing Azula. She grinned with delight. "Zuko!" She knelt down in front of him, shifting her grip on Azula so she could reach out to catch Zuko if he fell.
"Mama!" Zuko reached out for her. Ursa smiled and kissed the top of his head. She hugged both of her children.
"Let's look for your steps." The number of steps between a person and their soulmate appeared on their body when they first started walking. The number would be inflated at first, of course. A child's stride was quite small.
Ursa didn't have to look hard to find Zuko's mark. It was in a very noticeable place, on his cheek, just below his left eye. Ursa read the characters. "Twenty million?"
She frowned. Even for an inflated figure, that was high. Zuko's soulmate would have to be in the colonies. They might even be- No, best not to think about that.
五百万
Azula laughed. "Five million steps?" Her laughter was harsh and cruel. Azula didn't have a number. When she'd started walking, nothing had appeared. "You'll never find them."
"I know." Zuko didn't have time for Azula's taunting. He was practicing his forms. "I have to get ready, Azula. When I face the general tomorrow, I can't shame Father."
Azula laughed again. "You're so stupid, Zuzu."
四百万
Jet glanced at the mark on the back of his right hand. The number, which had always been so high, way too high, was getting smaller. He looked away. It didn't matter. He would never meet his soulmate.
The Duke looked at it. "Four million!"
"Yeah, I can read," Jet said with a roll of his eyes. He replaced the armor piece that covered the back of his right hand. He should never have taken it off to begin with. He didn't know what had compelled him.
"Maybe they're looking for you," Pipsqueak said.
Jet scoffed. "Maybe clouds are made of candy and the Fire Nation will leave tomorrow."
"What do you think they're like," Smellerbee asked, voice full of excitement. Longshot smiled at his soulmate as she spoke. The character at the bottom of his jaw was 三, the same as the one printed at the bottom of her foot. "What do you want them to be like?"
"It doesn't matter," Jet said. "I'll never meet them."
Pipsqueak shook his head. "You don't believe in love?"
"I believe in what I have. We have to focus on our mission. I won't risk losing any of you, or losing sight of our goal, because I'm mooning after some random person the spirits decided was my soulmate. I don't need a soulmate."
"You say that now," Smellerbee said. "You'll change your mind when you meet them."
Jet scoffed. "No, I won't."
"I bet they're really pretty," Pipsqueak said.
"And cool," The Duke proclaimed. "Maybe they have an awesome big sword!"
"Or two swords, like Jet," Smellerbee teased.
Jet just rolled his eyes again. Longshot gave him a warm look. Jet smiled. They were all together, and, for the moment, happy. That was all that mattered. He reached out and ruffled The Duke's hair, causing him to protest. They all laughed and forgot about Jet's hand.
百
Jet stared at his hand. The number was too small to ignore anymore. Smellerbee walked up from behind him. "They're here," she whispered, voice somber.
"Doesn't matter," Jet insisted.
"Jet, of course it-"
"No, it doesn't," he snapped. "Look around us, Smellerbee. Whoever they are, they're a refugee, just like us. They need a soulmate who can help them, support them. Does that sound like me?"
Smellerbee looked stricken. "Jet, you're not being fair to yourself."
"I couldn't protect them, Smellerbee. I couldn't protect our family. I couldn't protect our home. I ruined everything. That's what I do. I ruin things."
"No," Smellerbee insisted. "You still have me and Longshot. We love you, Jet. Whoever your soulmate is, they'll love you too. You deserve to be loved."
Jet saw Longshot in the distance, approaching. Longshot gave him a look. "Longshot got the tickets. Let's go."
"Jet, wait. We can find them. We can make sure we get on the same boat. We can-"
"No. I'm not ruining anybody else's life," Jet insisted. He put the armor on and ignored the number. He didn't care what it said.
十二
Jet saw the scar before he saw anything else. It was… noticeable. "Ugh! I'm sick of eating rotten food, sleeping in the dirt. I'm tired of living like this!" His voice was scratchy, worn.
Jet smirked. He couldn't help it. There was something uplifting about still being able to be rankled by life's little injustices. When you stopped caring, when you just let everything happen, that was when you were done. "Aren't we all?"
The boy turned to look at him. They were the same age. One glittering yellow eye examined Jet. The other was still and dim. Jet answered the unasked question. "My name is Jet, and these are my Freedom Fighters, Smellerbee and Longshot."
Smellerbee and Longshot greeted the boy. He gave a begrudging acknowledgement. Jet considered the food problem and came up with a plan on the fly. That was what he always did.
The plan went off without a hitch. That was more unusual, but not unwelcome. When they were done passing out the food and all sat down to eat themselves, Jet took the armor off his hands. To his shock, a large 一 greeted him.
The old man, Uncle Mushi, he'd introduced himself as, smiled. "Ah, young love is a beautiful thing." Mushi looked at Longshot, who had the same mark on his jaw, as he was sitting next to Smellerbee but not touching her. Longshot looked at Jet's hand. He gave Jet a subtle look.
Smellerbee wasn't as subtle. "Jet! Your mark! It's-!" She glanced at Lee and clamped her mouth shut. It was too late to spare Jet the mortification.
Mushi looked from Smellerbee, to Jet, to Longshot, to Smellerbee, to Lee. Jet watched the pieces click together in his head. "It is a beautiful night, and walking is good for one's digestion. I'll be taking a turn across the deck if anyone has need of me."
As Mushi got to his feet, Longshot gave Smellerbee a significant look. "Yes, can we join you," Smellerbee asked.
"Of course," Mushi agreed.
Then Jet was alone with Lee. Jet stared at Lee. Lee stared at his food. "Are you going to say anything," Jet demanded after the silence had stretched on and on.
Lee looked up and scowled. "Why should I?"
"Are we really doing this?" Jet frowned.
"Doing what?"
Jet held up his hand. "There's no one else one step away from me. You're my soulmate." Jet felt stupid saying it. He didn't need a soulmate, but he had one. He was sitting right across from him.
"I don't have a soulmate," Lee said.
Jet hadn't been expecting that answer. "What? That's impossible. Where's your mark?"
"I don't have one," Lee said, voice quiet and wavering with emotion.
"You have to," Jet insisted. "My character is a one, and you're the only person close enough to be it. Show me your mark," Jet demanded.
Lee laughed. It was a humorless sound. It filled Jet with a sense of deep dread and trepidation. "You'd need to go back in time to see it." Lee touched his face. He touched his scar.
Jet's dread turned to rage. "They burned it off?! Those monsters! Why would they-!" Jet snapped his mouth shut. The Fire Nation didn't need a reason.
Lee put his half-eaten bowl of food down and stood up. He began to walk away. Jet scrambled to his feet and grabbed Lee's wrist with his right hand. The character turned to 零, confirming what didn't need to be confirmed.
"Wait, please," Jet begged. "I'm sorry."
Lee snatched his wrist away. "You don't want me for a soulmate," Lee said. "I wouldn't bring you anything but trouble."
Jet almost laughed. Hearing his own beliefs parroted back to him was so close to being funny. It wasn't funny though, not really. It was just sad and screwed up, like everything else about Jet. "I like trouble," Jet said, and wasn't that just the absolute truth.
Lee shook his head and walked away.
三十
Jet stared at Lee. He was next to his uncle, seated on a bench on the platform. Mushi was talking to Lee, and Lee had his arms crossed over his chest, sulking. It was pretty cute.
"Maybe he just isn't ready for a relationship right now," Smellerbee said. "We're all pretty young. Give him time. Now that you know who he is, and with us being in the same city, you'll be able to find him again whenever you want."
Jet looked at his hand. He'd left the armor off. Jet would be able to find Lee whenever he wanted, but Lee wouldn't be able to find Jet. Lee's number had been burned away. Jet shivered.
"Jet?" Smellerbee sounded concerned.
Jet looked up. The old man had stood up to go get a cup of tea, leaving Lee alone. Jet walked up to him. Lee glanced at Jet and scowled.
"I get it," Jet said. "I don't trust anyone either."
"Then you shouldn't trust me," Lee said.
"I know you've been hurt, but you survived. You're like me. You-"
"You don't know me," Lee growled. "You don't know anything about me. You don't know who I am or what I've done. You-"
"I've done bad things," Jet interrupted. "I once almost drowned an entire village of people." It felt good to confess his greatest shame. He waited for the condemnation that was sure to follow.
Lee stared at him. "Why?"
"It seemed like the thing to do at the time," Jet said.
Lee shook his head. "I can't give you what you want."
"What do you think I want," Jet asked.
"I don't know, but whatever it is, I can't give it to you." Lee averted his one-eyed gaze. "Leave me alone," he demanded. "Go back to your friends. Forget about me."
"Is everything alright, Nephew?"
Jet turned his head and saw Mushi holding a steaming cup of tea. Jet put on his most charming smile, the one that had made Katara turn bright red. She'd had the biggest number Jet had ever seen at the base of her throat. She was sure she'd find her soulmate in the Northern Water Tribe, just as her grandmother had found hers in the Southern Water Tribe.
Mushi was unimpressed by Jet's charm. "I believe my nephew asked you for some space. Please respect that." Mushi's voice was kind, but very, very firm.
Jet walked away.
十六
Jet stared at his hand. He stared at the counter where Lee was taking orders. He stared at his hand again. A girl walked up to the counter. She had a big smile on her face.
"Thank you for the tea. What's your name?" Jet rolled his eyes. He waited for Lee to shoot her down.
Lee frowned. "My name is Lee. My uncle and I just moved here."
"Hi, Lee. My name is Jin. Thank you and, well, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime." Jin's smile was bright enough to light up the room. Lee just stared at her.
Mushi, the interloper, accepted on Lee's behalf. Jet scowled and stormed out of the tea shop before anyone could see him. It occurred to Jet later that Mushi had seen him.
一千二百
Smellerbee groaned in exasperation. Her fingers were red from the constant twisting of the rope in her hands. The money for the work was a pittance, but they needed it. "Just talk to him," she ordered.
"He doesn't want to talk to me," Jet complained.
"So you're just going to keep stalking him?"
"I'm not stalking him!"
"No, you just love going into tea shops and not ordering anything," Smellerbee teased him.
Longshot gave Jet a disapproving look.
"He went out with that girl," Jet muttered.
"So," Smellerbee retorted. "A date isn't exactly an engagement. Just talk to him."
"I think his uncle might eat me if I try," Jet said.
"Are you afraid of some old man," Smellerbee demanded.
"A little," Jet admitted.
Longshot gave Jet an approving look.
四十
Jet walked up to the counter. Lee frowned at him. "What do you want?"
"How was your date," Jet blurted out.
Lee scowled. "Have you been stalking me?"
"No! Well… Sometimes I come here… and don't order anything… and look at you… and then leave." Jet scratched the back of his neck. He used to be so smooth. What happened?
He looked at Lee. Oh, right. Lee. Lee happened. "Sorry," Jet muttered.
Lee raised his remaining eyebrow. "It's just a mark," Lee said. "You don't have to care about someone just because a birthmark tells you to. There are lots of people out there without marks. It's not like you have to either settle for me or be alone."
"That's not what this is," Jet insisted.
"So, what is it," Lee demanded.
Jet frowned. "I like you," he admitted.
"You don't know me," Lee insisted, sounding frustrated.
"Well, whose fault is that?!"
A few customers looked up at the sound of Jet's shout. They glanced at him and frowned. One woman scowled at him. "Is this young man troubling you, Lee," she asked.
Lee shook his head. "No, he's fine."
She scowled at Jet again and then went back to her tea.
Jet folded his arms in front of his chest and gave Lee a searching look. "Does this really make you happy, serving tea?"
"My uncle says that there is honor and dignity in serving others."
"That's cool, but I didn't ask about your uncle."
Lee scowled. "My uncle is pretty smart. Maybe if I listened to him more, I would get into less trouble." He pulled out a rag and started wiping down the counter.
"It wasn't your fault," Jet whispered, soft enough that Lee could pretend not to hear if he wanted.
"You don't know what happened," Lee muttered.
"No," Jet admitted. "I don't know, and you don't have to tell me. Still, it wasn't your fault. It couldn't have been."
"I antagonized him," Lee whispered.
Jet felt that familiar rage burning under his skin. He hated the Fire Nation. He hated them so much. He wanted to cut them all open and watch them bleed out.
Lee looked up at him. "Do you want a cup of tea?"
Jet frowned. "I didn't bring any money," he admitted.
Lee rolled his working eye. "I wasn't going to charge you."
"Oh." Jet's cheeks lit up. "Okay. Tea sounds… nice."
"My uncle has been teaching me, but I'm not that great or anything. You like jasmine?"
"Whatever you like is fine," Jet assured him.
Lee rolled his eye again. Jet looked down at his hand and watched the number grow as Lee walked away to start the pot of tea. It shrank again when Lee returned with a tray and two cups. "It's time for my break," Lee said.
"Cool."
五
Steel clanged against steel. Lee was good. Lee was really, really good. He flowed when he moved, muscles and metal acting as one limb that sliced through the air with perfect precision.
"You're too good to serve tea," Jet said.
Lee disarmed him. "You're just jealous that I actually have a job."
Jet scowled, and Lee laughed. It was a beautiful sound, and Jet didn't mind suffering a little embarrassment to bring it out. "There's more people looking for jobs than there are jobs to be found," he complained. "Most places require experience, or they want girls."
Lee scowled. "You don't want to work at those places anyway."
"No," Jet said. He knew the girls that took those jobs probably didn't want to work there either. They had families to support though. They did what they had to.
Lee pulled out a rag and started cleaning his swords. "Speaking of which, I need to get home. I have to get up early and open the tea shop tomorrow."
Jet frowned. "Would you really be happy, doing that for the rest of your life?"
Lee sighed. "This isn't the rest of my life. This is right now. Sometimes you need to stop and appreciate the moment you're in."
Jet scoffed. "You sound like your uncle."
Lee glared at him. "Uncle has done so much for me. He's saved my life more times than I can count. I owe him everything."
"He didn't save you from whoever burned you," Jet grumbled. He regretted his words the second he spoke them, but it was too late to take them back.
Lee's face went red; the half that wasn't already always red did anyway. "You have no idea what you're talking about! He would have been killed! You think you know me just because of some stupid mark on your hand, but you don't! You don't know what happened, you don't know my uncle, and you don't know me!"
Lee sheathed his swords and stormed off. Jet watched him go, feeling like an idiot. When he got home and told Smellerbee and Longshot what happened, they concurred. Jet was an idiot.
二
Jet walked up to the counter. He knew if he hesitated, he would lose his nerve. Lee was already scowling. At least Jet couldn't make it worse. Jet took the bouquet of pink peonies out from behind his back. "I'm sorry."
Lee stared at him, slack-jawed. "What?"
"I was a jerk. I'm sorry."
Lee kept staring.
"These are for you." Jet held out the flowers with his right hand. The 二 transformed into a 一. He waited with baited breath.
Lee reached for the flowers. Their hands touched. The 一 became a 零. Jet grinned.
"You are a jerk, sometimes," Lee said.
"That's true."
"I'm a jerk, sometimes," Lee warned.
Jet grinned again. He leaned forward and lowered his voice to a soft whisper. "I stole the flowers." He winked.
Lee scowled. He opened his mouth to reprimand Jet. He looked at the flowers. He shut his mouth and smiled. "They're pretty," he admitted.
"So are you," Jet said.
Lee turned red all over. Jet laughed at him.
零
They held hands as they sat on the roof. Lee told stories about the constellations, and Jet listened. "There's Nezumi. I was born in her year."
Jet snickered. "Of course you're a rat."
"What's that mean," Lee asked. He was so easy to rile up. His voice was already pitched high with defensiveness.
"Honest, tenacious and easily upset," Jet listed. He looked at Lee and raised an eyebrow. "That's you."
"How do you know I'm honest? Maybe I'm just a really good liar."
"You couldn't lie to save your life," Jet said, full of confidence.
"You think so?"
"I know so." Jet leaned forward and pressed his lips against Lee's. Lee grabbed Jet's robe. Jet had no idea if Lee was going to shove him away or pull him in closer. He'd find out.
Jet placed his right hand, his marked hand, over Lee's scar, where Lee's mark had been before it was burned away. The marred flash was rough. Jet ran a thumb over it as he pressed his lips against Lee's with greater intensity.
Lee hesitated. Then he kissed him back. The kiss lasted for about ten seconds. "Doesn't it bother you," Lee whispered, their lips a breath apart.
"What," Jet asked, heady with the delight of kissing and being kissed.
"The… Doesn't it feel strange? Doesn't it disgust you?" There was a note of pleading in his voice.
Jet felt that rage again. He brushed his thumb against the ruined flesh. "I think you're beautiful," he said. "You look like a survivor."
"I don't need your pity." He sounded angry. "I don't want your pity."
"This isn't pity," Jet promised. He kissed Lee again. Lee kissed him back. "This is desire," Jet whispered.
四
Jet recognized the braids and the blue clothes first. He blurted out the name in surprise. "Katara?"
She whirled around. She looked confused. Then she looked annoyed. "Jet?" She gaped at Lee as he closed the gap between them, carrying a basket full of supplies for his uncle. "Zuko?!"
Lee stared at her. "Oh."
"What are you doing here?! How did you get inside the city?!" She scowled at Jet. "You're working with the Fire Nation now?!"
Oh.
Oh.
六百
Jet took off his armor to wash his hands for lunch. He frowned as the number grew smaller and smaller. "Guys! I think we have a problem!"
They gathered together, all armed or in fighting stances, on the highest platform of the Western Air Temple. Zuko dropped to the ground in front of them. Jet glanced at the number on his hand, the smallest it had been since the Dai Li had dragged Lee away. Of course, there was no Lee. There never had been.
"Hi, Zuko here."
"We know who you are," Sokka snapped. His own number was high. His soulmate was still trapped in a Fire Nation prison, too far away for them to figure out which one by the distance. He glared at Zuko.
"Right," Zuko, who wasn't Lee, said. "Sorry."
"What are you doing here," Katara demanded.
"I…" Zuko looked at Jet. He averted his gaze. "I want to help you take down my abusive father and liberate the Earth Kingdom."
For a long moment there was silence. Jet burst out laughing. "How stupid do you think we are?"
Zuko looked at Aang. "I know I did a lot of bad things. I'm sorry. All I want now is to make it right. Can you ever forgive me?"
Jet laughed harder.
三十
Sokka had his soulmate and his father back. Good for him. Jet sat by himself and sharpened his sword. He watched the number on his hand lower to 二十九, then 二十八, then 二十七. He scowled and set his swords down.
"What do you want," he yelled at the person he knew was behind him.
"I never wanted to deceive you," Zuko said. "I tried to warn you."
"You should have been more straightforward. You're Fire Nation . You're the most Fire Nation Fire Nation there is. You're the Fire Lord's son. "
"I know," Zuko said.
"Why don't you just make everybody's life easier and disappear forever," Jet snapped.
"Because that would make him happy."
Jet turned around to face Zuko. Zuko was gone. The number on Jet's hand climbed higher and higher. Jet scowled.
九
Zuko passed out bowls of soup to everyone. Jet took one. He was just hungry. It wasn't a sign of forgiveness or anything. They all ate and talked like everything was normal.
Sokka and Suki disappeared halfway through the meal to go do whatever soulmates who don't hate each other do when they're together. Jet saw the 无穷 symbol peek out from beneath Katara's necklace, an infinite distance between her and her dead soulmate. It matched the mark nestled in Aang's palm, a mark for a boy from the Fire Nation that had grown old and died while Aang was frozen in an iceberg. Toph itched a large number on her ankle.
Jet glared at Zuko. "Soup and tea won't change anything. You're still the Firelord's son. Nothing will ever make us forget that."
Toph scowled in his general direction, her unseeing eyes full of displeasure. "You're still an asshole, but you don't hear us going on and on about it."
"Toph." Katara's tone made it clear she disapproved of the language.
"It's fine, Toph." Zuko said. "He has a right to be angry. I lied to him. He doesn't have to forgive me."
"He doesn't have to bring it up every five seconds either," Toph insisted.
"You'll wish you'd listened to me when he betrays us and turns us in to his father."
Zuko flinched. "I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. I defied him. If he ever sees me again, he'll kill me."
Aang squirmed with discomfort. "But he's your dad."
"Yeah, well, he killed his dad too. He doesn't care."
"Evil," Jet said. "Your whole family is evil. It's in your blood."
"Shut up!" Toph got to her feet and stomped her foot, shaking the ground. Soup spilled all over Jet.
"Toph, it's fine," Zuko insisted. "I deserve it."
Jet scowled. "You always say that! Stop saying that! You said that about him too. I hate it when you say that!"
Zuko stared at him, confused. "What do you want me to say then?"
Jet looked away. "I don't know. Not that. Anything but that."
十五
Zuko sat down in front of the tent. Jet stood a short distance behind him. Katara glanced at Jet before going over to Zuko and sitting down next to him. They talked for a little bit, and then Katara left him. She walked up to Jet and frowned.
"He's really struggling right now. Maybe it isn't the best time to pick a fight."
"It's always a good time to fight," Jet said, just to rile her up.
Katara rolled her eyes and walked away.
Jet approached Zuko. The numbers shrank with each step. Zuko hadn't noticed him. Jet was approaching from the side of his blind eye. Zuko didn't have a mark to warn him of Jet's approach.
Jet cleared his throat. Zuko jolted and looked over his shoulder to identify who had invaded his space. He flinched when he did so. Zuko braced his shoulders like he was preparing for an attack.
Jet sat down next to him. "Why do you care about what some old ashmaker thinks of you?"
Zuko sighed. "For the same reason I care what you think about me."
Jet frowned in confusion.
Zuko pulled strands of grass from the ground. "I care about what the people I love think about me."
Oh.
Oh.
"I get that," Jet said.
"I'm sorry I lied to you. You don't have to forgive me, but I am sorry. When this is all over, you'll never have to see me again. I won't bother you, I promise."
Jet hesitated. "Can I bother you?"
Zuko frowned in confusion. He looked at Jet. "What?"
"When I want to see you, can I come bother you?"
"You're so fickle," Zuko said with a sigh.
"Yep," Jet said. "You're the idiot who loves me though."
七十五
Zuko was up on the stage, watching the coronation from a few steps away. Jet was in the crowd, watching Zuko. After the Fire Sages finished crowning Iroh (not at all a fitting name for him; he was definitely a Mushi) Firelord, they crowned Zuko as the Crown Prince and heir to the throne. Smellerbee squeezed Jet's hand. Longshot gave him a look.
Jet ignored them both. He didn't care that Zuko was some fancy prince. To Jet, he was still just a handsome boy who was good with steel. Zuko found him in the crowd.
"I'm not bowing to you," Jet said immediately.
"Good," Zuko said with a sigh of relief. "I'm going on a mission to track down my mother. It'll be dangerous, and I'll probably get into a lot of trouble. Do you-"
"When do we leave?"
Zuko kissed him. Jet touched the missing mark. He felt it, the blood under the skin twisting to form an invisible 零. Zero, zero, zero, there is no distance between you and your soulmate.