Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“What am I supposed to do while you are gone? “ you said with a pleading voice.

“What do you usually do when I’m gone? “ Lee said, finishing to pack his stuff, Hester sitting on the bed next to him.

“I wait for you to come back” you said hugging him from behind. Lee was leaving again for one of his mission and you had no idea when he was supposed to come back.

Or even if he would come back to you.

You preferred not to think about the latter. Lee was clever, he survived for longer than you could imagine and he would be fine, sure, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t have to worry for him.

Lee turned around and hugged you back, kissing your forehead “Just one last mission sweetheart, then I will be with my two girls” he said laying one of his hands on your belly, smiling fondly. You were six weeks pregnant, it just kept feeling unreal, everything was new and wonderful, but you felt a great sadness knowing that Lee would’ve missed the next few months.

You weren’t alone, that was true, but still, Lee was Lee and nobody could take his place. “How do you know that is a girl?” You asked him, reaching for his hand “Because I’ve always wanted one“ he replied shyly. 

You smiled fondly at him: Lee acted all tough but on the inside, you knew he was the softest man in the world. You also knew that this separation would have hurt him too, but he was too proud to show it.

He had to be strong for the two of you.

But that was okay, you knew exactly how he felt, there was no need to point that out. “In that case" you said "she’s gonna have the best dad in the world”. A sad smiled draped his face, as he got down on his knees in front of you.

Since you found out about the pregnancy, Lee developed a habit to speak to the baby. To be totally honest you doubted that the child was actually able to understand something, but it was so sweet to see him being all caring and vulnerable, his walls falling down as he revealed himself before your eyes. You thought about how much time would come by without listening to him and your eyes began to water, but you suppressed them. You had to be the strong one now.

You slowly ran a hand through his soft hair as Lee began to speak. “Hello little girl, daddy’s, here” he said “I’m going to leave you and mummy alone for a while, you probably have no idea how time works anyway, but your mum is gonna be really sad while I’m not there. So be a good girl for me and don’t stress her too much." He gave out a small laugh and buried his face into your belly, he was getting emotional just as much as you were.

"I’m sure it will not be hard for you" he continued, his voice broke now, just a soft whisper "You are perfect already, I think you took that from your mom.” With that, Lee looked up at you.

He was the personification of love and affection, his big brown watering eyes stuck into yours, he took one of his hands between his. You caressed his face with your free hand, stroking his cheek with your thumb, reassuring him that you would have been okay.

That was true, you would have been okay, but certainly not happy to stay away from your husband for so long. “I’m gonna miss both of my girls so much” he said hugging your waist, careful to not hurt you. You caressed his hair, holding him closer to you for a few moments longer.

"Come back to me, okay?"

"I promise".

Chapter Text

“Hester! We are home!”
“Yes, I’m here Lee, I can hear you”
Lee couldn’t contain his joy, for once in his life he had a home to come back to. He helped Lyra with the knife and now he was more than happy to retire from his adventures, at least for a bit.
Y/N was waiting for him and he was the happiest man on Earth, not only that, but he was curious to meet his daughter, she was probably born by now.
As the balloon got closer to the ground he jumped around, frenetically hitting buttons and the brakes, to assure himself a safe landing.

You were sitting outside your house, under the porch that belonged to your parents. It was a simple wooden home that your great-grandpa built many years ago and since your parents died you have been living there with Lee.
“Lee… “ you whispered sadly to yourself, as you were stitching together one of his sweater. It didn’t need to be repaired, but you usually found yourself fixing and breaking your own stitches on his clothes, it was just a way for you to feel closer to him, as if you were taking care of him even if he was far away. 
You spent days not knowing what happened to him, fearing for his life, worried that he might never come back home. You rarely received letters from him but each one of them was a shot of fresh air for you, knowing that he was alive made you feel better. 
You held the sweater closer to your face, deeply inhaling his scent. It was slowly fading away. 
“Are you missing them too Dogmir?” you asked at the chameleon sitting on your shoulder, who was currently nuzzling your cheeks. Tears began to form in your eyes, some days were better than others but it was always hard to stay away from Lee. 
“Stupid hormones” you chuckled to yourself as you tried to suppress your tears. The pregnancy revealed to be quite a distraction in your day-to-day life, the physical pain and discomfort kept your mind away from Lee and Hester most of the time. 
Giving birth alone wasn’t easy either, you thought that you were going to die if it wasn’t for you doula, but in the end, you became a mother and you felt like all the pain you went through proved to be worthy of your happiness. 
Since your child arrived in the world you felt less stressed and happier, even if worry popped up into your mind from time to time. 
You let out a short breath as you wiped the tears from your eyes and looked up to the sky, waiting your spouse. You were ready to be disappointed again, until you saw a small dot in the sky. 
Your heart started racing as a big smiled appeared on your face. That little dot began to look so much like a balloon.

Lee screamed with joy as he saw his little home in the prairie, the beautiful spring’s flower blooming on the ground, a blue soft floor that decorated the land. He missed his home so much, maybe for the first time. 
He prepared for landing a few meters away from the house and once he was on the ground he rushed to get inside, Hester hopping next to him in the grass. You saw him running and immediately jumped out of your chair, holding your daemon close to your chest as you began to run as well to meet him halfway.
You barely could contain your joy as tears run over your cheeks, Lee was back, he made it, he kept his promise. He was finally home.

Lee's face grew brighter as he got closer to you and once you reached him he took you in his arms and twirled you around like you were made of air, but then he unbalanced and you both fell on the soft ground. You looked at each other and laughed as loud as you could, basking in the joy of being reunited once again. 
“Great move Lee” Hester couldn’t miss her usual snark comment. 
“Oh, Hester I missed you so much, come here love” you cheerfully said as the hare jumped on your legs and snuggled closer to you and Dogmir, as Lee framed your face with his hands and kissed you on the lips and you felt at home again.
God, you missed him so much: the tickle of his mustache, his hands holding you tight and his distinctive scent. 
You kissed and cried together, not being able to express all your emotions with words, not that you needed to talk to understand one another. You rested your foreheads one against the other, exchanging a few more kisses and laughing softly. 
“You came back” you whispered. 
“Looks like it, yeah” he replied with a shy smile, trying to be tough as always but failing at keeping his emotions at bay “I missed you doll, I promise that I’ll never leave you again”.

Lee laid and hand over your belly and his face grew worried, he didn’t dare to ask but you knew what he was thinking. You took his hand between yours and softly whispered to him “She was born a couple of weeks ago, do you want to meet her, Lee?”
Lee smiled even widely if it was possible, his eyes were glowing and he seemed incredibly younger than he was. You have never seen him this happy before, maybe on your wedding day, but he wasn’t glowing nearly as much as back there. 
You couldn’t help but keep on laughing, it still seemed so unreal to have him back. 
Lee got up and helped you on your feet, as you headed back home hand in hand, leaning heavily into each other. You giggled as Lee told you about his adventures, you admired how he always found a way to get into trouble. 
“I don’t find troubles, they find me!” he protested. 
“Why is it that I don’t believe you, Lee?” you teased him with a smile. He tried to be offended but was too happy to keep up with the pouty face, not that he was able to hold it long enough with you around. 

You finally reached the porch and Lee’s grip on your hand tightened. He was anxious
“Lee, it’s gonna be alright. She’s lovely, you’ll see” you said trying to bring him inside.
He stood still, a serious look on his face, so out of place with the previous mood that you got worried.
“Lee? What is it love? Why are you upset?” you said holding both of his hands close to your chest, searching for an answer in his face. Lee was hesitant at the beginning, but knowing how stubborn you were he gave up. 
“I wasn’t there…” he said, looking at the ground, Hester’s ears lowered too in sign of shame ”I wasn’t there for you, you did everything alone and I-“ You placed your hand on his cheek and stroked him with your thumb, trying to calm him down.
“It was just a moment Lee, it wasn’t easy, but now you are here and we can raise our daughter together” Lee seemed slightly calmer now “We’ve got all the time in the world now, don’t worry about the past”

You knew what worried him. Lee never really had a lovely or affectionate father figure, he confessed to you that he was afraid he might be a bad dad like his was.
You took his face in both of your hands and made him look down to you “You are gonna be an amazing father Lee, I just know”.
Lee let out a breath, overwhelmed by the many emotions of the last few minutes “I bet you are gonna be a great mother too” he said nudging to a smile as he leaned over your shoulder for a hug.

The two of you hugged, finding comfort in the presence of the other, then once Lee calmed down you guided him inside the wooden home, as he took in the familiar scent that belonged to both of you.
You lead him into the living room where a small cradle was parked in the middle of the room. You held into Lee’s arm more firmly as you brought him closer to his daughter. Lee took your hand once again and leaned over the cradle finally laying eyes on his daughter for the first time and smiling widely.

She was the most beautiful baby he’d ever seen: she was laying down on her back, sleeping lightly. Her little hands were closed in small fists and she was wearing a little white dress, her cheeks were rosy and fat, a little amount of black hair draped her small head.
A small delicate golden butterfly, her daemon, was resting on top of her head. They were both so delicate and fragile, Lee was worried about breaking them if he stared for too long. 

He wasn’t used to tenderness, his whole life he worked hard to built a shield around him and his job wasn’t the most caring in the world. His hands were calloused and his skin was thick with the pain he endured, he was familiar with taking someone’s life, not that he was fond of it, quite the contrary, but he was used to violence. 
She was nothing like him, she was soft and precious, he wondered how he was able to make such a perfect small miracle. Certainly, most of the credits were yours and he was more than happy like that.
 
You got closer and hugged him from behind, holding him tight. Lee held onto your arms, slowly melting in your embrace as you both watched over your daughter. 
“Did you choose a name yet?” Lee whispered 
“Nothing official yet, but I was thinking about Elena”. You heard Lee holding his breath and were worried he didn’t like the name. 
“Like my mother…” he said softly. 
You turned him slightly around so that he could look at you and you saw a smile appearing on his lips “It’s perfect, just like her, just like you”. 
Lee framed your face with his hands and kissed you again softly on the lips. It was so good to have him back. 

Soon you heard Elena cooing softly, she was waking up.
Lee looked at you unsure on what to do. You smiled softly and turned around to hold her, gently lulling her as she woke up, heading to the couch. 
Lee was standing still in the middle of the room, looking extremely uncomfortable. “Lee, come here love”
Lee did as you told him and sat close to you, followed on the couch by Hester. 
“Why don’t you hold her?” you said looking at him. He was still unsure but he also wanted to hold his beautiful daughter in his arms. 
You instructed him on how to hold her properly and once he was ready you let her into his arms. 
Elena shifted a little, adjusting in the leather jacket of her father. Lee looked at you in search of approval and you nodded lightly, a huge smile on your face. 
Lee swung her in his arms, getting slowly more confident. He delicately caressed her face with one of his fingers, careful not to hurt her. 
As he did, Hester got closer to Elena’s daemon, slowly and carefully, sniffing her suspiciously. 

The small butterfly approached the hare and sat down on her nose, as a collective sigh of relief pervaded the room, two souls just found each other. 
Lee was soon pervaded by a sense of calm and he began to speak to his daughter.
“Hello little girl, I’m your dad” he said with a soft smile “it’s so nice meeting you out there in the world. Do you remember? I used to talk to you and your mom made fun of me”
Lee glared at you and you leaned over his shoulder, watching the scene unfolding in front of you. Elena actually seemed to recognize that voice, she began to move her little legs in excitement as Lee kept on talking. 
“Did you take care of Mommy while I was away? I’m sure that you have been a very good girl and kept her company when she was alone” 
Lee gave you another sorrowful look, he wouldn’t have abandoned you if he had a choice, but Iorek needed help and then he met Lyra. 

“What do you think of a second name?” Lee asked after being silent for a while. You smiled, as you took off his hat and fixed his hair “It sounds lovely, what did you have in mind?”
“How about Elena Lyra Scoresby?”
“Sounds good” you said leaning closer to his shoulder, relaxing against your long-missed husband you felt all the weight of the last few months falling over you. You finally didn’t have to be strong, you could just let go and enjoying this new chapter of your life and raise your own family. 
“Lee…” you yawned, close to falling asleep “don’t leave us again, okay?”
Lee turned around and kissed your forehead “I won’t ever leave you, I promise”. 
And with that, you finally fell asleep, lulled by the sound of Lee’s voice as he sang to your daughter, your chest full of joy.