Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

My feet scraped over the rough rocks, and I fell a couple of times, cutting open my palms. The pain stung and burned slightly, but I didn’t mind. It made it more adventurous. More daring. I climbed the steep inclines and followed the narrow twisting path. I could hear the animals around me, and I thought they knew I was there, that I was one of them. That I was part of their world. There was something about wilderness in the dark that made everything feel more alive. I could hear every breath that I took. I could feel the healthy thudding of my heart as I exerted myself during my climb. My body shivered as my sweat cooled upon my neck from the chilly breeze that blew by. I had gone to Grover Keeton Park and was hiking up to Piedmont Ridge. It had perhaps my favorite view in all of Texas. There were two benches that I had spent many an evening on, watching the light of the sun bathe the forest in a rosy red glow as it rose high over the valley below. It was like everything would sing the moment the light touched it, the leaves would awaken, and the grass would be tipped in soft drops of morning dew. I would get my thermos of tea out from my backpack and sip the steaming cup, sketch, and watch the world become alive again.

It was my favorite spot in all the world, let alone in Dallas.

I had slowed when I knew I was coming to my spot. I wanted to greet it like an old friend. I didn’t want to rush in and bombard it. The moment and place demanded more formality from me, like entering a sacred grove. When my benches finally came into view, I was surprised and disappointed to find someone already there. A boy, in his early twenties perhaps, not much younger than me, was sitting on one of the benches staring out into the night. I knew it wasn’t particularly safe to be out alone in the woods, but I had never met anyone else out here before. It was just...surprising. The boy's head turned slowly toward me, and he reminded me rather of a hawk, the slow turn they give right before they dive for the mouse or the vole. It sent involuntary shivers down my spine. What was he doing out here?

Shaking my head at myself, I walked closer. The same thing could be said about you, Jane, I told myself. You’re out in the woods in the wee hours before dawn, like a weirdo too. I sat on the second bench, and I got out my sketch pad. The moon was high and full and bright, and this was my favorite type of light to sketch in. The boy didn’t seem to mind my presence. He seemed calm, and maybe only slightly perturbed. He didn’t say anything to me, and I didn’t say anything to him. We stared at each other for a long time, and as if coming to some sort of understanding, he looked away from me and back over to the dark valley. Then, for some reason that I couldn’t fathom, I started sketching him.

He had dark hair and old eyes. I wondered what he had been through to have such old eyes. They were silvery grey in the moonlight, and it was an extraordinary color that my pencils would never be able to capture correctly. Something about them said I’ve seen everything, and nothing. I’ve stared into the abyss and laughed. How could he know so much? I couldn’t understand him at all, and he hadn’t even spoken a word. He had to be younger than me, even if only by a couple of years. I sketched his nose next, I was proud of how I captured the slope of it perfectly, and I wondered if he was related to royalty because he seemed to have the nose of a prince. That he could easily look down upon us mere mortals and with that slope of his nose and find us either worthy or unworthy, his lips were the hardest thing for me to capture, and I couldn’t quite get them right, his upper lip was soft and sensual and his bottom lip curved upward like a bow. Finally, I got them right, and I had captured his face in a mischievous smile, even though right now, his face was impassively blank.

I continued to sketch him in the pale cool light of the moon. He had on a corded necklace that disappeared down into his shirt. The material of his white shirt looked thin and cotton-like, and I was surprised he wasn’t cold in the brisk autumn air. I could see hints of tattoos beneath the white fabric, and I felt like it was an illusion designed to draw me in. I didn’t add them to my sketch; I kept the mystery there too. My drawing was lovely. I wanted to keep it. I wanted to remember this stranger on this bench next to me, who didn’t feel the need to batter me with constant chatter but could merely sit and appreciate the silence of company. I wanted to keep his strong jaw and the artful swirl of his bangs against his forehead. But I didn’t keep it. I tore the drawing from my notebook, the sound ripping loudly into the silent night.

He looked over at me, his face unreadable. I handed him the drawing, and he stared at it. I didn’t say anything in response. I just took in the leaves on the trees and the rustling of the wind and the crispness of the autumn air.

“You drew me with a smile,” he said, and his voice was both raw and smooth a strange contradiction. It certainly wasn't a Texas drawl; it sounded like a mixture of accents, and it suited him perfectly.

“I did,” I said in response.

“Why?” He looked at me briefly and then looked away.

I shook my head, my long hair escaping from the bun I placed it in before my hike, and I answered him as I drew it back up again.

“Your mouth...it was hard to draw. I tried, but this was the only way I could get it...right.”

His eyes followed the column of my neck as I pulled my hair up, and I wondered if one of my students had gotten paint on me again. I wiped at my neck and found it clean. I was suddenly extraordinarily thirsty and reached in my backpack and took a long pull off my water bottle. It didn’t seem to help.

“Why are you out here, in the darkness?” he asked me next. “It could be very dangerous for you.”

The way he said that sounded like a threat. I wondered again what he was about. “I like to hike at night and watch the sunrise. I try to capture the moment by drawing it, but...it’s always gone too quickly.”

His lips quirked at that. “Time is fleeting,” he responded.

“I guess that’s why I keep trying. If I had enough time, maybe I will get it right,” I suggested, but that made his face go dark.

“No, it wouldn’t matter. Once the sun has risen, it is gone. There will never be another like it again. That moment has forever passed,” he said, staring out into the darkness.

I listened to the animals humming in the woods, and the whisper of the wind and a strange auspicious feeling stole over me. This moment… it was important somehow.

“That’s a very beautiful thought,” I told him.

“You don’t think it’s...maudlin?”

“No,” I sighed. “It means that every moment is important then, that each second that passes is individual and wonderful. That the time I have will never be wasted because every second that stretches out before me is its own perfectly beautiful unique gift never to be heard or seen again.”

“Even moments spent in pain? In sorrow? In loss?” he questioned, and I saw him looking over at me, his strange old eyes full of doubt and wonder.

“I think so. Pain, sorrow, loss, they tell you that had something worth feeling pain over. You had something great enough that you feel the proud ache of missing what you had when it is gone. What a glorious privilege! To live a life that allows you to feel something so deeply, to experience such a joy that in its absence, you hurt. Pain always teaches you things. It’s taught me a lot.” I paused. I thought of my past sorrows, the mistakes that I had learned from. “And you can always remember that it too passes, that it is just as ephemeral as the moments of beauty and wonder we try to capture and keep. That nothing in time is permanent.”

He thought about that, and I wiped my scraped palms against my jeans, and he stiffened next to me. I drank some more of my water, still unable to quench my thirst.

“What if...what if you don’t deserve such things? The things that bring joy, what if all you have done is take?”

“Then what you have to do is give.” I stopped. I was presuming too much. “I don’t know you. I don’t know your story, but I can see you have…. old eyes, you’ve seen things. Perhaps you’ve even had to do things that you wish you hadn’t. I don’t know. But there’s beauty in forgiveness. You said yourself every sunrise is different, that each moment is unique. We can’t hold on to yesterday's sunrise...perhaps we should let those terrible moments pass, same as that uncapturable sunrise.”

He zoomed over to me, and at that moment, I realized he was a vampire. The first I’d ever met.

“I can never be forgiven for the things that I’ve done,” he told me darkly. “I should never be forgiven.”

I knew that I should feel scared, but I didn’t. Maybe because this ridge was my favorite place, and something about it spoke of peace and love. It felt sacred to me, and I knew that it was a spiritual feeling—a connection to something greater, something beyond myself. I wasn’t a religious person, but I knew that the universe was vast and that it expanded outward, and I wanted to feel that way too. That my being was a vastness that expanded out, that I was connected to everything. I felt connected here. Rooted in nature, in the stars, in the wild, and in this singular moment in time. I felt completely limitless. I felt as if all of the universe and time were stretched out before me.

“I forgive you,” I whispered to him, sincerely, letting the feeling flow up and out of me and into him. I felt it deeply in my heart that whatever he had done, it was over now. He moved to the end of the bench and stood away from me as if I scalded him with my words and feelings. His sudden departure made me feel a snap of surprise; a deep sadness stole over me.

“You don’t know what I’ve done.” His raw voice echoed around me.

“I know. But forgiveness isn’t about earning it or deserving it. It’s not really about you.” I thought about all the forgiving I had to do. That I still needed to do. “It’s about those who were affected. When people hold onto grudges, it does nothing to the one they’re hating, it only eats them up inside, forgiving others is really the ultimate act of self-kindness, it’s actually quite selfish.” I could hear my own smile in the silence of the woods. “We shouldn’t waste any of these unrepeatable moments on hate or guilt. I imagine that it was mostly humans that you’ve affected, so on behalf of humans...you’re forgiven. So now humans don’t have to hold onto what has happened to them,” I decided for him. “I think that’s the best place we can start, humans and vampires, by forgiving and moving on.”

He sat back down.

“You’re bleeding.” His voice was practiced and even, but there was something underneath it. I sipped more water, still thirsty, unsure about what he meant.

I looked at my palms. “I’m sorry. Does it bother you?”

His silver gaze pierced the raw red scrapes on my hands. “Bother is not the word I would use.”

His dry response made me chuckle. “Why are you out here?” I asked him.

He looked around. “I honestly don’t know anymore,” he replied, and then I saw the mischievous smile that I drew for him spread slowly across his face. It occurred to me that I had drawn him correctly. It looked absolutely, perfectly, exactly, right. He was by far the most charming man I had ever met.

“Oh,” I said, stunned by the perfect surrealness of his expression.

He turned away, and there was a moment of silence between us. Before he even turned back to me, I knew something was wrong. When he finally turned back around, his smile was gone, and the look in his eye was that of a child’s. It was open and heart-wrenching, and I almost gasped at the sight.

“I...I had wanted to meet the sun,” he told me hoarsely, and I could feel the vulnerable honesty pouring off him.

“Because of what you had done?”

He nodded. “Now...I don’t know. You’ve made me have...doubts.” He seemed like he wasn’t someone who usually had doubts.

“Good,” I said, smiling wide, and I felt a tear in the corner of my eye, and I wiped it away. I knew I felt things deeply. I wasn’t embarrassed by it anymore. Maybe it was that I couldn’t stand the thought of that perfect grin not existing. He looked at me with an expression I had never seen before, a mixture of adoration, joy, and incredulity.

“May I give you something?” he asked out of nowhere.

“What is it?”

He took off a necklace from around his neck and held it out to me. On it was a small hammer-like shape.

“Please accept it. It is not nearly enough.” His voice held a tone of desperation that I didn’t really understand.

“All I gave you was a drawing,” I told him as I slipped it on automatically. Something about the desperate edge had me already accepting, wanting it to be mine. I felt relief as I held it in my hand. It felt cool and ancient. Special. He laughed, a deep rumbling sound that made insides clench.

“You’re very strange,” he told me, his smile making his eyes crinkle.

“No, I’m perfectly normal,” I replied, a smile spreading across my face before I could stop it.

“You have very rare blood,” he said, looking back at my stinging, angry palms. “That is not normal.”

“I do have the AB negative blood type. So I guess that’s not average, but everything else about me is just plain. Plain Jane.”

“I...no. Nevermind.” He turned away from me, and I saw the moonlight bounce off his pale skin.

“Wow. You’re so...beautiful.” Before I could stop myself, I was touching the cool, almost icy skin of his arm and examining where the light touched it. “Your skin is like opaque marble.”

“I have not fed in a very long time,” he explained to me, and I saw him look at my scraped hands again. Finally, I understand that look, the meaning behind that intense gaze. It was thirst.

“Oh...why?”

He looked out over the ridge, and sadness seemed to settle on him like a shroud. “I did not feel that I deserved to.” His voice was brittle; the melancholy of it made me feel as if I would shed more unwilling tears.

I sat back down on my bench, thinking. This was a dangerous idea, but I couldn’t help it. I felt that he did deserve it. I wanted to wash away his aching sadness. I wanted to help him.

“Well, you can drink from me, I mean, if you want,” I offered.

He sat down next to me in a flash. “You’re offering me your blood?” His silver eyes reflected the light of the moon, and his expression was that of mystery and wonder.

“Yes,” I agreed in a whisper. I was suddenly elated and nervous. “Please...be gentle, though? I’ve never done this.” I swallowed. I looked into his grey eyes, and I saw his pupils dilate and then stay open wide. They were mesmerizing and beautiful—liquid pools of soft moonlight. I had never seen anything quite like it.

“I won’t hurt you,” he promised me, and I believed him without reserve.

He leaned in, and I got to see all of his features up close. His long eyelashes, and his ancient grey eyes, his royal nose, and sensual mouth. I felt my heart thud against my rib cage, and he moved his head down my neck and sniffed at my skin.

“You smell like water, paint, and like roses.” He breathed across my skin, sending goosebumps along my body. His tongue touched my neck, and I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Oh, it was so...sensual, arousing, personal. This was an intimate act, letting him drink my blood. “Your heart is beating very hard. Are you very scared?” he asked me, and I felt his hands on my upper arms, trying to comfort me.

“I’m not scared. It’s...it’s lovely,” I breathed out to him.

His hand trailed to my waist, under my shirt, I felt him stroke the soft, smooth skin under my breast. I gripped his shoulders, and I heard myself make a sound that was something between a moan and pant. His mouth smiled against my neck as if pleased by my response. Then I felt the lightest pressure against my neck, more like a light pinch than the pain I expected, and it caused me to gasp. His hand had come up and cupped my breast under my bra, and his fingers found my already hardened nipple, and as he pulled the blood from my throat, he teased my nipple gently between his fingers.

“Oh, please!” I whispered, but I wasn’t really sure what I was begging for. His mouth nursed against the skin of my neck, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was going to climax from the strange moment and these convoluted feelings of pleasure and pain. Of mystery and beauty. This chance encounter with a dangerous, beautiful creature on a moonlit night in my favorite place in the world. What was happening? I was going to peak from this? If it hadn’t felt so right, I would have felt embarrassed by my body’s reaction. He was barely touching me after all, but it was so profound. It was the deepness of the connection that put me right to the edge.

He sank his fangs in deeper, pinching my nipple harder, and I suddenly crested. I felt my body floating and him drinking from me deeply, and it’s as if time stood still to allow me to have one perfect moment of pure bliss, of nirvana, and spiritual awakening in the arms of a strange perfect vampire.

When I came out of my haze, I realized I was surrounded by clouds.

“You’re awake,” he said, and it occurred to me that I was flying in his arms. We were flying.

“Is this a dream?” I asked him as he began to descend.

He smiled that mischievous smile again. “If it was, would it be a good one?” he asked me instead.

“Oh yes, very good,” I replied. He set me down on my feet. We were back at the parking lot, my beat-up Honda CRV, the only one in the parking lot.

He looked at me and then at my neck. “Will you permit me to heal you?” he said suddenly, as if impulsively.

“Heal me?” I didn’t know what he meant.

He looked at me intensely. “If I give you some of my blood, it will heal you.”

I shook my head. I had heard strange things on the news about vampire blood, and I didn’t want to pollute this memory by taking his blood. “No, thank you.”

He looked at me, stunned. “You’re...you’re certain?”

I nodded. “I appreciate the offer. But I’ll be fine.”

This night was too perfect, and I didn’t want it to end. I could hardly stand it. This moment felt important, as if it was life-changing. It was, but I didn’t know that at the time. I just knew that I had been seen and found, and it had been far more awe-inspiring than the sunrise that I had come to try to capture. And just like that sunrise, in a few moments, it would be gone. A singular perfect memory, I wanted one more perfect instant.

“Can I ask you for just one thing before you go?” He looked at me, concerned. “May...may I have your kiss?”

The look on his face told me that what I said was not what he expected, but in mere seconds his lips were pressed ardently and fully against mine, and I was kissing him back hungrily. I parted my lips lightly, and I could feel the gentle, intimate brush of his tongue against mine. I tasted my own blood in his mouth, and it made me feel like I was doing something dangerous, taboo even. He had pressed my back against my car, and I wanted to lift my legs and wrap them around him, but I resisted the urge. I could feel him, the hard length of him, pressed against me, and it made me moan.

He released me then. He pressed his forehead to mine, and we stood frozen like that, trying to make sense of the connection between us. I kept my eyes closed still, trying to capture the moment like I do when I draw or paint. To commit it to memory and time. When I felt him release me, I opened my eyes to look at him again. He was standing right there in front of me, a lovely flush to his skin, his eyes burning darkly, and then he stepped away.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him softly.

He shook his head at me in disbelief, as if I were preposterous, and suddenly he looked young, boyish, and charming. “Thank you,” he replied seriously, although his lips had quirked into that grin again. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and toed the gravel of the parking lot. I opened my car door, and I got inside and closed it. I looked out my window to give him one last look goodbye...but he was gone.

****

And that was it. I dreamed about the night a lot, but my life continued on. I taught my art lessons to my elementary students and my night courses at the community college. My life went on, and that night was just a perfect memory. I didn’t go back to the benches. I didn’t want to tarnish the memory by having anything else happen to me there. I made sure to keep it as perfect and pristine as a masterpiece work of art.

Fall changed to winter, and I spent my winter break evaluating my life. The thousands of moments still stretched out before me. I wanted change, movement. I needed to experience something different. That night made me thirsty for something that I couldn’t explain. I had a need for something and didn’t know what I could do or how I could quench it. City life had always been overwhelming for me. I liked the culture and the museums, but the number of people compressed into one area always sucked away some of the beauty. I found them overwhelming and interacting with them tiring. The litter and garbage, the stink of cigarette smoke and urine. I wanted to get away. I wanted wilderness and silence. I wanted freedom from the ordinary.

After winter break, my thirst for something new became stronger. I spent my weekends driving out of the city and into strange and forgotten places. Old derelict barns filled with feral cats, abandoned dilapidated plantation houses whose grandeur had faded but still held a spark of glamour, massive empty fields with rusted old silos that echoed hauntingly when you sang in them, and hidden creeks that burbled and flowed continuously and endlessly until they reached the sea. I was searching for something I couldn’t quite find. I wanted a taste of the past, of otherness, and time. My sketchbook became full of luxurious decay, of morbidly elegant scenery, and of my perfect stranger with old silver eyes.

But still, I was lost.

My elementary students loved my work. I didn’t show them my vampire friend, but I would show them the other things I drew, to show them that art was forever. That you can love to draw at ten years old and continue to do so until you are twenty-eight, or eighty-four, or for however long you could hold your implement in your shaking weathered hand. I wanted to show them that they could turn their passion into something real, that being an artist wasn’t a job but an identity. That it was your purpose to see, to notice, to create, and capture the beauty of the world, to bring that beauty to life, to preserve it for all who come after you.

My spring was spent in desperate aching, trying to recapture that feeling of that night with my vampire. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I had looked up teaching positions all over the country and the world. I had done a semester abroad in France when I was in college, and I had liked traveling, but it had ultimately fallen flat on the empty promise of uniqueness. Why couldn’t I create that right here? Did I really need to travel so far to find what I was looking for? My heart had settled into a kind of blind acceptance of my fate. I counted myself lucky to have had such an encounter at all, and I pushed myself to look for the perfect otherness closer to me, to find the extraordinary right in front of me. In many ways, I did. I found it at the moment that I poured my coconut milk creamer into my dark English breakfast tea, and I would see it swirl in a lovely twist. I found it the gap-toothed smile of a child as they showed me their perfectly imperfect art. I found it in my quiet dawn walks when I could see my breath steam and curl out in front of me.

I dug for more lost places. I found a cave full of stalactites that dripped in a melodic rhythm that I was certain was a song sung by the universe. My adventures took me to a field of wildflowers that hummed with thousands of insects and bloomed and faded within just a month. They crumbled beneath my fingers, and I stood in the desolate meadow, wondering how it could have been so full and become so empty so quickly. I had always been obsessed with beauty, with noticing it, recording it, with creating it, but it was as if I had been turned into an addict looking to find things that were forgotten and fading, and somehow trying to see them and make them beautiful again.

My plan to satisfy this hunger by staying here had only made me more ravenous. By feeding myself these small tidbits of strange mundane beauty, I had become even more addicted to it. I found myself stopping in front of a building to press my body to the magnificent architecture and sitting for hours trying to draw the single twisted limb of a tree. I longed for connection to something more, something greater. I began to people-watch and observe their interactions and their expressions. To see the loveliness and ugliness within them.

It wasn’t until one of my students talked to me that I began to wonder about my mental state.

“Are you lonely, Miss Compton?” One of my fifth graders, Mallory, asked.

“Why would you ask me that, Mallory?” I said as she examined my most recent sketch; a single startling white cow’s skull in a field, the broken, empty farmhouse almost indistinguishable in the background.

“I dunno. All of your art recently just feels so...apart from everything,” Mallory said as she packed up her things.

“I’m fine,” I told her with my teacher's smile. “Have a nice break!”

“Thanks! You too, Miss Compton.”

I sat down at my desk, alone in my classroom. Was I lonely? I had always been an introvert, and the other teachers, while kind, were busy with their own classrooms, their own lives, and their families. I had a few acquaintances, but I didn’t keep up with them much. They wanted to go out and drink, and party and I wanted to visit strange and abandoned places. I wanted to drink tea in coffee shops, read books, and copy down sentences that I loved, quotes that captured ideas that I hadn’t thought of. I was in the world, but not part of it. I didn’t have a family anymore, my parents and grandparents were all gone, and I had no siblings. I had spent a great deal of my time alone, and I preferred it that way. I didn’t think I was lonely. I was just alone. As far as I knew, I was the only Compton.

That was until I received a call at the beginning of June. Two measly weeks before school let out.

“Am I speaking with a Miss Jane Compton?” the fancy Louisiana accent asked me.

“You are. With whom am I speaking?” I replied politely.

“My name is Sid Lancaster. I am an attorney representing the estate of your Great Uncle. Jessie Compton.”

“Oh,” I replied. “I didn’t know I had a Great Uncle.”

“Well, I don’t think he knew about you either. He willed his estate to pass to his closest relative and that Miss appears to be you.”

“His estate?”

“It’s a bit run down, he had spent the last several years in a care facility, but it’s yours now.”

“Where..where is it?”

“Bon Temps, Louisiana.”

*****

Eric’s POV

I sat in Godric’s lair, unsure where my Maker would be this close to sunrise. He was cutting it awfully close. I leaned back in his chair, my feet on his polished mahogany desk, waiting for him to come in. He had been falling deeper into his depression, the last century, more so than any other. It was as if the rising of modern times made him feel even more ancient, and I wondered if it was just that he was losing touch.

My goal tonight had been to come here and get him to feed. I visited him two times a month since the eighties when Pam and I had been forcibly relocated to Shreveport, and I wasn't going to stop breaking my tradition now. During my last several visits, spanning for at least the length of a year, he had looked paler and paler, and I feared he was starving himself. He always put me off. Saying he was fine. That he needed very little blood anymore, I was frustrated that he wasn’t here, and now it was so close to dawn I was going to have to get the bleeds and stay over day just to get an opportunity to talk to him.

When he burst through the double doors to his office, I saw the changes in him immediately. Gone was the sad, withdrawn ghoul that had been haunting this Sheriff’s office, and in his place was a mischievous impish creature that I hadn’t seen in at least a century, whose cheeks were flushed rosy with fresh blood. He smiled grandly at me, and I was so overjoyed with this change of demeanor. I thought I might shed blood tears.

“Godric!” I said as I moved my feet off the desk. “My gods, what has caused this change?”

He shook his head and smiled at me mysteriously.

“You won’t tell me? Truly? You seem to be...born anew. As if refashioned by a new god,” I told him honestly.

His grin grew wider. “Perhaps I was.”

“You’ve fed! You’re glowing.” I was amazed.

“Yes, my son. I did,” he replied, and his lips were upturned in such a way that it made me think he found much more than blood.

“Who? Who was this person you fed from?” I asked, how did they do it? I would find them and make them do it again, forever, if it brought my Maker back to himself this way.

Suddenly his face clouded over. He slumped in his chair. “I...I didn’t get her name.” His face was full of longing.

“She got you to feed, and you didn’t even get her name?!” I nearly shouted at him.

He shook his head. “It was… it was the strangest thing,” he whispered to me.

Holy fuck. What had happened to him tonight? I had never seen him like this. Not in the thousand years that I knew him had ever looked like he did right now. As if he had held the most precious thing in the world in his hands and then let it slip slowly through his fingers. Like he had let it melt away into an oblivion of nothingness.

“Let me find her for you,” I demanded. I couldn’t see him like this again, back to his old ways.

“No, Eric, it was a fleeting perfect moment, and now it is gone,” he responded, not quite as sullen as he used to be, but not with the cheerful, joyous countenance he had when he came in.

“In the very least, describe her to me,” I begged.

“You can stay in the guest chambers. They’re still keyed to admit you,” he said instead.

“Godric, please-” I started again, but when he turned around, the power that blasted from him made me cower. His eyes were black, and his body was taut, and I knew now that I could not persuade him.

“Enough.” Was the only word he spoke, and I turned to leave. I saw him open his desk drawer, grab a letter from inside, and then throw it into the fireplace. Perhaps I would never understand him. If I hadn’t after a thousand years, I doubted I would get any better at predicting his moods now.

I walked down to the basement and scanned into the light-tight secure room. I threw my long body on the bed. How could I help him when he wouldn’t allow himself to be helped? How could I save him from something that he didn’t even see? My Maker thought that he could conquer anything, that he was untouchable, but he couldn’t see that the future was laid out right in front of him as it always had been. He just needed to find the will to take it.

After that night, I left and went back to Shreveport. I ran the bar. I did my Sheriff’s duties. I paid my taxes to Queen Sophie Ann. It was all very normal. I texted Godric two weeks later, confirming that he would actually be at his home when I came to see him, only to receive a response that he would be out.

Out where?

I asked, and he sent me GPS coordinates. It looked like some trail near a park, and I sighed. Of course, he would be moody and brooding, out in nature, communing with the beasts. He never did grow out of his human pagan tendencies.

I flew from Shreveport and met him there. He was sitting on a bench, calm and pale. It was obvious to me that he hadn’t fed since I had last seen him, living like a damn monk. I plopped myself down on the bench next to him, and he didn’t move to look at me. He stared into the darkness.

“Why are we here?” I asked him, looking around at the dirt.

“Because it’s beautiful,” he replied.

And so it went. Every time I visited from then on, we met at that bench. He got paler and paler and more philosophical and obscure. I wasn’t sure what to do for him. He would sit in silence, and I would try to engage with him, but he would smile sadly and mysteriously. It was like trying to talk to a fucking zen koan.

I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how to help him.

How can you save God from himself?

Chapter Text

Chap 2

Jane’s POV - Monday, June 15th & Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

As I drove into Bon Temps, I was pretty sure that I had made a mistake. I had built up in my mind an image of this little rural town in Northern Louisiana, the decadence of southern decay meets quaint small-town charm, and what I saw when I first drove through reminded me of a bad scene from a horror movie. Surely hill people were going to come down and start shaking my car at any moment.

I found a spot to park on Main Street and went to meet with Sid Lancaster. I had finished up the last two weeks of school, and I was happily on summer break now. Sid Lancaster was a charming southern gentleman and graciously offered me sweet tea when I entered his office. It was already sweltering out, and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

He and I went through the paperwork, and then I had proudly inherited my never before seen Great Uncle’s estate. It was near dark when we finished up.

“Thank you so much for your help, Mr. Lancaster,” I told him as I left.

“No problem at all. May I ask what your plans are for the old Compton Estate?”

I smiled and shrugged. “I really don’t know yet. I’m going to go look at it tonight.”

“Oh. Well alright. Let me know if you need any help, dear," he said.

“Thanks,” I replied, and I left. As I drove toward the house the setting sun was turning the sky a burnt orange color, streaked with brushes of cotton candy pink. The small clouds reflected the light, throwing it outwards as if inviting the earth into its embrace. It was another fleeting moment, and I held onto it as I drove down the worn-out road to the estate as dusk was settling in. The estate was right next to a cemetery that I already longed to explore and see what hidden ancient things I could discover there.

Parking my car out front, I stood and observed the house in the rapidly dying twilight light. It was gorgeous. The paint was peeling, and the shutters were crooked, but it spoke to me in the language of time, and it had seen so much. It was an original to the town, and I wanted to try to preserve it. To save its old bones. I delicately walked across the wooden boards of the porch, and I could feel them give slightly under my feet, and it filled me with a sense of giddiness. It was as if adventure was underfoot. I used the tarnished brass skeleton key to open the heavy door, and it creaked open.

I took in the foyer. It had scuffed but original hardwood floors, and peeking to the parlor, I could see battered old antique furniture. The winding staircase leading up had a banister that I wanted to feel against my palms to see if any memories of the hands of people who touched would spill forth. I loved it immediately. It didn’t feel like what I had been trying to find, but it captured a part of it—a connection to those fleeting moments that had already passed long before I had even been born.

I was frozen in my admiration when suddenly I heard a door creak open and footsteps. I turned around to see a man. He looked rather old-fashioned; he had strange long sideburns. He zoomed toward me, and I realized he wasn’t a man at all but a vampire. His hand was on my throat, and he was choking me.

“Who are you? Who sent you here?” he demanded, gazing directly into my eyes, and I answered him as if compelled.

“I’m Jane Compton, and I was sent by the lawyer Sid Lancaster. This is my house.”

He released me then. I rubbed my throat.

“Jane...Compton?” he asked, surprised, and then seemed to analyze every aspect of my face. “I thought Jessie Compton had no living relatives.”

“I didn’t know about him. At least not until the lawyer tracked me down,” I told him. “Who are you? Are you like living here?”

The vampire gestured me to a moth-eaten antique sofa. I sat watching him. He was the second vampire I had ever met, and I found him rather lacking. I supposed anyone would pale in comparison to my first vampire and my experience with him. But this one was especially drab. His presence seemed ordinary, mundane. A landscape picture hung blandly in a hotel room. I was bored.

“My name is Bill Compton, and you are my descendant,” he said.

“What?!” I stood up. He was like my vampire, great-great-grandpa? Maybe that’s why I found him so dull.

Bill blathered on for a moment about how his family originally built this house and how he had married and had children before being turned. It should have been a compelling story, but he was milk toast, his voice was dry and banal, his southern drawl like the sound a fan makes in the background.

“Alright, I get it, but why are you here now? In my house.” I finally had to interrupt him.

“The point that I am trying to make, Jane, is that it is not your house. It is my house,” he said, standing. “I think you should just be on your way now.”

“I’m sorry, Grandpa Bill, but I don’t think I’m going anywhere,” I said, folding my arms stubbornly.

He rolled his eyes. “So be it,” he said. “I am going out tonight.”

Then he left. Did I just inherit a house that had a vampire squatter living in it? I shook off the weirdness that was my encounter with him, and I went to explore the rest of the house. It was mostly empty, but it was worn, damaged, and to me, quite beautiful. I knew in my heart of hearts that I wanted it. I had to figure out a way to get my insipid blathering ancestor out of my house.

I finally reached a point where I was too tired to continue to explore, so I laid down on the moth-eaten sofa to sleep for the night. As I closed my eyes, my mind filled with plans of what I would capture first. Would I do a full-size painting of the facade, showing all the worn and weathered cracks? Or maybe the staircase...My mind drifted off, and my dreams were filled with my vampire friend. He was walking through the house, caressing the peeling wallpaper.

“It’s not very old.” He said in his wonderfully strange amalgam of an accent. “But, it’s already begun to fade.”

“Old things need care, or they won’t last,” I said back to him with a smile.

He grinned at me impishly. “I’m an old thing; perhaps I need some care?”

I woke up to the sound of the door opening, and my vampire ancestor entered, covered in blood.

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed. “Did you kill somebody?”

“If I say yes, will you leave of your own volition?” he asked instead of answering.

“Why are you covered in blood?” I said, crossing the room, but suddenly he made eye contact with me.

“Jane,” he said to me, hypnotically.

“Yes?”

“You’re leaving. This is not your house anymore. It is mine,” he said.

“Your house. Not mine.” I heard myself repeat.

“That’s right, now leave,” he said, and I followed his instruction.

By the time I was in my car and realized that he used some sort of mind control magic on me, I was already halfway down the road.

God fucking dammit! I hit my hand against the steering wheel.

I didn't know that vampires could do that. Not for real anyway. I always thought it was one of those stereotypes that people said to justify their hate. He was rather stupid. Why did he let me remember what he did?

Maybe Sid Lancaster could help me! But then I supposed the vampire would just use his Jedi mind trick on him too. And probably the police. The mind control aspect of vampires was a lot scarier than I had originally thought. Now that I was really reasoning about it, I figured out that I needed someone who wouldn’t be controlled by his hypnotism.

Someone not human.

My next thought was of trying to search out my vampire, the one that filled my dreams and sketchbook. I discarded that idea quickly. I had no idea how to find him, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to. I had preserved the memory of him so carefully. It was like a delicate flower pressed in the pages of a book. If I moved it or shook it, it would crumble and be gone.

So how did one find a vampire? And how did you ask them for a favor? Maybe I could pay them. Surely vampires wanted money. They would still have to buy things, right? I suppose they could just use their brain magic and make humans give them whatever they wanted. My mind went round and round. What did vampires want, other than my house, apparently? I parked my car at a shitty motel, and as I was getting out, it occurred to me. I almost smacked myself upside the head. It was so obvious.

Blood. Vampires want blood.

I knew that I had pretty rare blood. Less than one percent of the population had AB negative blood. Maybe I could get a vampire to help me by offering them some of my blood. They could probably just take it if they really wanted. I marched grumpily into the motel lobby and got a room. They said I could extend my reservation for however long I wanted, and I just decided to book myself the week. I could always check out sooner. I needed more sleep. I couldn’t think this through all the way, being so tired after my blood-covered great-grandpa woke me up.

After I slept for a while, I woke up in the afternoon to the sound of people yelling, crying babies, and all the other unpleasant sounds that usually accompany people. Groggily, I showered and got dressed. I put my necklace back on, the little hammer that I wore every day, and I slipped on a nice baby blue sundress. I needed a plan. I wanted to get my house back. My stomach grumbled. Maybe I would come up with a plan after I had some food.

I walked down to the lobby. “Where’s a good place to eat around here?” I asked.

“Well, there’s Merlotte’s Bar and Grill just up the road,” the manager said, not looking up from her paper.

“Thanks,” I replied, and I got into my little SUV. I followed the road, and I saw the turn off down a dirt driveway. I certainly wasn’t in Dallas anymore.

I parked and went in. I was directed to a booth and given a menu. This place had a strange feel to it. Like a lot of bad things happened here. I shivered and looked away from the dead animals' heads hanging all over the walls.

“Hi, I’m Sookie; what can I get ya started with?” A blonde waitress with a bouncing ponytail asked.

I looked back at the menu. I wanted to try the veggie burger, but I wasn’t sure if there were eggs or dairy in the patty or the bun, and I didn’t want to be the annoying vegan bitch who asked and then had people in the back spit her food.

“Oh, it’s not a problem. They won’t do that. I’ll go ask,” she said as she bounced away.

How did she know what I was...thinking?

“Lafayette, do our buns for our burgers have dairy or eggs in ‘em?” I heard her call through the kitchen server's window.

“Let me look... no theys don’t.”

“And the veggie burger does that have eggs or dairy in it?”

“I makes ‘em myself, and they do not.” I heard a sassy voice reply.

The waitress bounced back over. “So veggie burger, no cheese, no mayo, extra mustard, and a side of fries?” she repeated to me as if I had given her my order.

I just nodded.

“Oh!” she said as if realizing what she had just done.

“That’s quite a talent,” I told her. “Can I have sweet tea too?”

She walked away quickly. I guess that wasn’t people's usual response. A group of guys that look like they worked construction came in and snagged a table near me. They laughed and joked, and I made sure not to make eye contact with them. Groups of men were like jackals or hyenas, they could sense a weak gazelle and would prey upon her.

The blonde waitress, Sookie, came back with my sweet tea. “Hi, I was wondering...do you get a lot of vampires around here?”

She shook her head. “Not really. We just got our first one last night, actually. But there’s a vampire bar in Shreveport.”

“A vampire bar? What do they do? Serve people on tap?” I asked, astounded.

Sookie laughed. “No, they serve Tru Blood, and people who want to meet vampires go there, I guess.”

“Oh,” I said, and I ate a french fry. “Thanks.”

“Sure. No problem.” Her blond ponytail swished as she walked away.

I guess I could go there and check it out. I could see if there would be anyone willing to help me. It seemed kind of risky, but I knew that no human would be able to help. I finished my burger and my fries, and I sipped my sweet tea lightly. I listened to the conversation flow around me. The men at the table worked for the county, clearing and repairing roads. I feel the eyes of the man with a cajun accent staring at me, but when I look up, he seemed completely absorbed in conversation with the other men. I shivered a little again and left.

Not sure what this vampire bar was called, I went to the public library, and I used their computer to look it up. Fangtasia. I stifled my laugh. It was funny. I liked it. It seemed rather touristy and tawdry, but I guess that’s just what people would expect from a vampire bar. I paid five cents to print the directions, and the librarian gave me a dirty look for coming in only to use the computer to print something.

I figured out that by the time I drove there, it would already have been open for an hour, so I saw no point in delaying. I enjoyed the drive over; driving down country roads was relaxing to me. I rolled the window down, let the breeze wash over me, and I looked at the moss that draped from the trees like long beards of old wizards. I saw the silhouette of an owl as it swooped down from the trees. Perhaps this town wasn’t so bad. I wondered if they had a school that needed an art teacher. I pondered about what it would be like if I could get my weird vampire relative out of my house and if I could make a life for myself here.

Was I getting closer to what I was looking for?

The daydream lasted me until I reached the parking lot. It was there that my brain started processing that I needed to be on my toes. Stay alert. I had to be careful now that I knew that the mind control thing was real. When I got out, I realized that I probably should have gone back to the motel and changed out of my soft sundress. However, after looking at the garb of the patrons that were going in, I decided it wouldn’t have mattered what I wore. I didn’t own anything that would have made me fit in with this scene.

I had my ID ready at the entrance, I was only twenty-eight, and I looked younger, I figured I would be getting carded forever, but I didn’t really mind. A blonde vampire in a corset gave me a wide grin and let me enter after checking to make sure I was of age. When I entered, I wasn’t too surprised by what I saw. Vampires dancing on stripper poles and in cages, the mass of people moving to a heavy bass. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to find a vampire to help me. I went up to the bar. The vampire working was Native American, and his long black hair pulled back into a queue.

“What can I get for you?” he asked gruffly, and I felt very thirsty.

“Umm...a ginger ale,” I responded; I didn’t want alcohol. I knew I needed to stay wary.

“Alright,” he said and began making my drink.

“Do you know a vampire named Bill Compton?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “I don’t,” he replied, his eyes lingered about my neck, and I felt uncomfortable and still thirsty.

“Oh. Okay.” I paid for my drink and gave him a good tip.

“You could try and see if he’ll see you. He knows all the vampires in the area,” the vampire said, seeing my generous tip, and nodded his head behind me.

I turned, and I saw a vampire on a throne. It was clearly a throne, with him sitting upon it. I was immediately aware that he was a predator, and I was sure that was part of his draw, that he did that on purpose. He looked rather like a bored lion. Completely at ease, but as if he could pounce any moment. He was typing on his phone, and he looked as if he’d prefer being anywhere but here. He felt familiar to me too, and I found that startling.

“How do I talk to him?” I asked.

“You can wait to see if he notices you, or you can risk walking up to him.”

“Risk?”

“He doesn’t always respond well.”

“Okay. Thanks,” I told the bartender, and I took my drink, and I found a booth to sit in. I sat so I could watch the vampire on the throne. I wondered if he’d notice me. I got out my sketchbook because I couldn’t stop my impulse to want to draw him. I flipped past the pages filled with my vampire, and the ones filled with my obsession with old secret hidden places, to a crisp fresh blank page.

I started with his long blond hair. I liked it. It was unusual, especially not tying it back. Then I did the oval shape of his face, then the strong line of his jaw, and the length of his neck. I found a perverse joy in sketching the breadth of his wide shoulders. For some reason, I decided to draw him with his hands steepled as if thinking deeply rather than playing with his phone. His hands and fingers were difficult to sketch, and I felt like I couldn't quite capture the size of his hands, the magnitude of his presence. I did the details of his face last, and I decided I liked the cleft of his chin the most. It had been my favorite detail to capture. I couldn’t really do his eyes justice because I hadn’t brought my colored pencils with me, and the startling icy ocean blue color just couldn’t be captured by grey graphite, but I feel I got the look of them right. I had observed him more closely than I had even known. How his eyes took in this place, how they stopped on the women he found most interesting, how he smiled at the blonde vampire at the door. His eyes said a lot of things to me, and they told a story. A King surveying his kingdom, a proud warrior, a flirtatious gentleman, a rogue with a heart of gold?

The night wore on, and I added more and more detail, the length of his long legs folded over in his throne—the throne itself down to the tiniest markings on the wood. I shaded the rest of the small page out, so it looked as if he were alone under a single spotlight. It was getting late, and he still had made no move that he had noticed me. I decided that I would give him the drawing, and if he still wasn’t interested in talking to me, I would move on and try to find another way to get rid of Boring Bill.

As I walked forward, I couldn’t tell if my pace was more of a bride down the aisle or that of a funeral procession. I felt the eyes of the crowd on me, and when I reached him, I held out the paper. By the way he looked at me, I could see that he had, in fact, noticed me earlier. That perhaps he had been watching me the entire night. He put his phone away and took the drawing from me. I watched him analyze it, and it felt like the whole bar was holding its collective breath.

He gestured for me to sit, and everything started turning again. People went back to dancing and drinking.

“You’ve got my attention,” he said, in a bored even tone. His eyes told a different story. He was interested, excited that I was up there with him.

“I… I need help. From a vampire,” I told him.

He raised an eyebrow at me as if to say, help with what?

“I inherited my Great Uncle’s house, but well, there’s already a vampire living there, and he doesn’t want me to have the house. He used his mind powers on me to make me leave,” I told him, and he rolled his head as if considering my words.

“What’s this vampire’s name?” he asked lazily.

“Bill Compton. I guess I’m like his descendant or something.” I said, and he looked at me sharply. “Why is he… bad? He came back covered in blood…” I trailed off; maybe that was normal. How would I know?

“If I help you with this problem, what would I get in return?” he asked, and I felt his eyes on me again, but I made sure not to make eye contact.

“What would you want?”

A predatory smile spread across his face. “Come with me,” he said, and he left his throne and moved through the crowd. I followed him, and I felt a little bit closer to what I had been searching for. My hands clenched in a mixture of apprehension and elation. We went down a hallway, and he opened a door and gestured me to enter the office. I went in, and he closed the door behind him. I swallowed at the sound of the door clicking into place.

“This is a very big task. I would be displacing a vampire from his home,” he told me, and his voice was deep and rumbly.

“I don’t have very much money. I’m an art teacher,” I told him. He continued to grin as if I had said something funny.

“I would not ask for money,” he replied.

“Oh. Okay. What do you want from me?” I asked, trying to be brave.

“I want to claim you. I would want you to agree to be mine,” he told me, his eyes burning brightly. “I have not claimed a human in many years. It would be a great pleasure to do so again.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

He steepled in his fingers, just like in my drawing. “It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, I provide you with protection, and you, in turn, offer me your blood.”

There, I knew it. Blood. Vampires need blood.

“I...I feel like there’s more to it than that. How do I know you won’t do that mind-boggling thing on me?”

“How do you know I haven’t already done it?” he asked, raising his eyebrow, and I wrinkled my brow at him. “It’s a matter of trust.”

I nodded. Trust. Could I trust this large cat trapped in a man’s body? Something lingering about him made my heart scream. Yes! My mind, however, knew better. Men were not trustworthy.

“I gave my blood to a vampire once. Just the once...and it wasn’t like I was making him dinner. It was very...intimate,” I tried to explain my fear.

His eyes glowed deeper. “If done right...it certainly can be. If you were mine, I would only take your blood...and then I would give whatever else you ask for.”

I swallowed again, and I felt warm and flushed.

“I can hear your heartbeat pitter-patter. Are you scared, little dove?” he asked me, and I felt like he liked the idea of my heart beating hard for him.

“No. I just want to be sure I understand. If I agree to be yours, and I give you my blood, then you’ll get Bill out of my house?” I asked, and he nodded. “How long would I have to be yours for?”

“How long would you like to live in the house?” he replied.

I understood better then. It was indefinite, a long-standing arrangement.

“Can I take the day to think about it?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I just realized...I never got your name.”

“Eric Northman,” he replied.

“I’m Jane. Jane Compton.”

“Well, dear Jane, I look forward to hearing your answer tomorrow,” he said, and he brought my hand to his cool lips and kissed the back of it gently.

I left quickly, my heart beating out of my chest. What was wrong with me? How could I let him affect me so? I drove back to my motel room in Bon Temps, mulling over the entire conversation we had and what all the implications of being his were. I needed to get some sleep, and then first thing when I was fresh, I would make a list of all the questions that I had to have answered before I agreed.

When I got back to the motel, I changed into a sleep shirt and shorts and piled myself in the middle of the bed. I tried to imagine what my grey-eyed vampire would say about this predicament. I couldn’t imagine. I fell into a fitful sleep, and I dreamed of the two vampires, their blue and grey eyes both staring at me, burning into me, making me feel as though I was caught between the massive gulf of the ocean and the endless grey rock that meets it. I was being pushed and pulled and drowned and buoyed. I was torn between endless wonder and suffocating pleasure, and I woke up disoriented and gasping.

My heart had decided what to do. It was my head that had to be convinced.

Chapter Text

Chap 3

Jane’s POV  Wednesday, June 17th & Thursday, June 18th, 2009

I stretched. I rolled the achy muscles from my shoulders that were tight from the cheap hotel mattress. My neck made tiny cracking sounds as I rolled it back and forth. I twisted my body into a myriad of positions working out the kinks, both mental and physical. Then, feeling satisfied and calm, I got out my sketchbook and started writing down all the questions I had for Mr. Northman about what it would mean to be “his” indefinitely. 

When I finished, I was surprised to see how short the list was. Last night I had felt like I had millions of questions, and now I had narrowed it down to just the most pertinent. I went and showered, the water pressure was terrible, and I wasn’t very satisfied with my experience at the motel. I wondered what the water and plumbing were like at the estate. I could tell when I had explored that there were problems with the electricity. I daydreamed about the house and how I would take my time and save my money a little at a time and have it slowly restored. 

Having lounged around in bed until well into the afternoon, I had to go and get some food. I drove downtown and found a cute little diner. I couldn’t find anything on the menu that didn’t have meat, or eggs, or dairy in it except for fries. So I placed my order for a large basket of fries and a rootbeer. I got my sketchbook out and started sketching the chiseled jaw of Eric Northman before I had even realized what I was doing. As I was adding my favorite detail of the divet of his chin, I realized what I was doing, and I slammed my sketchbook shut, frustrated with myself.

I sat and stared out the window for a while instead. I people watched and imagined the lives they led. The man with a cajun accent came in to pick up a large sandwich order, apparently for the whole work crew. As he stood around waiting, he came to talk to me. 

“Hey, cheré. You new in town?” he asked me in a friendly tone.

“Yeah. I’m Jane Compton,” I told him. It made sense to get on good terms with the locals. 

“Compton? Like uh, the vampire, Bill Compton?” he asked. 

The impulse to roll my eyes was strong, but I resisted. 

“He’s my ancestor,” I told him. 

He looked at me askance. “Huh. That’s, uh, interestin’.” 

The waitress came out with my fries and his sandwiches. 

“Nice meetin’ you,” he said as he grabbed the food and left. 

My fries were good and hot, and I appreciated the contrast of the root beer’s sweetness and the fries’ saltiness. I licked my fingers clean when I was done and left a small tip on the table. It was still early, and I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do before I went to Fangtasia to talk to Eric Northman. I drove around the town, and I found it much cuter than I had when I first drove through. I spent some time driving through back roads and exploring the fraying edges of the town. 

I slowed down when I saw caution tape put around a torn-up trailer. Trees had been pulled up, and the entire place looked like it had been thrashed. I rolled down my window to talk to the deputy that was there. 

“Hello. Can I ask what happened here?”

“Well, we think it was maybe a tornado. Crushed two people in the house,” he said with a lisp.

I looked at the damage. I found the way the tree was bent particularly fascinating, and I wished I had a camera to take a picture of it so I could sketch it later. It all seemed very localized to one spot. 

“Seems kinda compact to be a tornado,” I said idly. 

“Yeah, well, there’s some other theories too. That’s why it’s still a crime scene,” he explained.

I nodded. “Oh. Okay. Thank you.” I said, and I rolled my window up and drove away. 

What did they think had done that? If not a tornado, then...what? My mind immediately thought of Bill covered in blood. Could he have done that? I didn’t really know how strong vampires were or what other abilities they had. Could all vampires fly like the first one I met? 

I parked my car near an empty field, got out, and laid on the hood. My mind wandered as I watched the sky turn to the deep blue velvety night, and then as it slowly began to fill with tiny pinpricks of stars. I liked it here, in the country, the sky was so much bigger to me here. It filled my entire mind. The whole sky was visible to me. It made me feel simultaneously insignificant and important, a strange contradiction of knowing how small I was in the universe and how connected I was to something as large and as vast as the heavens above me. 

Night had fallen fully, and I realized that I should probably start driving to Fangtasia. I got back in the car, and the drive went by quickly. Once I had arrived and parked, I looked down to see the whites of my knuckles as I gripped the steering wheel, and my entire body felt tense and taut. What was I doing? I didn’t need that old house. I should leave. I should go back to my tiny apartment in Dallas and stop chasing this idea of finding something more. I should stop thirsting for a taste of what I had that night on that wooden bench. What the fuck was wrong with me? 

I went to get out my sketchbook, and instead of looking at my list of questions, I looked at the sketch of my silver-eyed vampire. I traced the slope of his mouth with my finger. What should I do? Should I keep pushing, searching, putting myself at risk to try to recapture a feeling, a connection to the unknown? Could I really stop myself now?

No. I couldn’t. 

Closing my sketchbook and putting it in my bag, I walked up to the door. The same vampire that carded me before was there, and she let me in without needing to see my ID again. She watched me with a raised eyebrow and a flirtatious smile. She gave me the feeling of someone who was watching something that they thought was amusing, if not ridiculous. I tried to put her expression out of my mind as I went into the darkened club, and I looked to the throne, but he wasn’t there. 

“He’s out,” the blonde vampire at the door told me dryly.

“Umm...will he be back later?” I asked her. 

“I’m not sure,” she replied, her voice even and disinterested. 

“Do you think if I left him my number that, you could, maybe give it to him?” I asked. 

She looked at me as if this was a major inconvenience. 

“Sure, Sugar,” she said. I pulled out my sketchbook and ripped the corner off a blank page. I wrote my number down and handed it to her, and she folded it neatly and put it in her cleavage. I guess it would be safe there. 

“Thank you,” I told her, and then as quickly as I could without appearing to run, I left. 

Getting back into my car, I released the breath I had been holding. I drove away, back to Bon Temps, and impulsively stopped at the strange bar, Merlotte’s. After the ups and downs I had tonight, I decided that I would have one drink, even though I wasn’t much of a drinker, and then go back to my motel. Parking in the gravel parking lot, I walked in and went straight to the bar. The bartender was reading a book, and I knew how engrossing an important text could be, so I didn’t interrupt her. I smiled at her when she looked up, and I tried to read the spine of her book. 

“What can I get you?” she asked. 

“Can I have a Tequila Sunrise, please?” I felt like looking at the ombre effect of the colors. Maybe it would be calming. 

“Sure thang," she replied and then started mixing my drink. “You new in town?”

“I’m trying to be, but I don’t really know yet,” I told her honestly. 

“Yeah? Why’s that?” 

“Well, I thought I had inherited a house, but apparently there’s a vampire already livin’ in it.” 

“Vampire Bill?” she asked

“The very one.” 

“Well damn, just one more reason not to trust him,” she said as she put the drink down in front of me. 

“What do you mean?” I asked as I admired the gradient color of the drink.

The bartender shook her head. “He’s just way too interested in a friend of mine, that’s all. He was over at her house tonight, ‘callin’ on her’ and doing this whole southern gentleman act. You know his family actually owned slaves?” she said, and I felt myself flood with white guilt: his family...my family.

“Oh,” I said in response. “I didn’t know that. That’s...just…” I couldn’t finish. I felt sick. 

“Yeah. I know,” she replied flippantly. I liked her a lot. She didn’t have a filter, and it made me trust her more. She wasn’t going to hold back on what she thought. 

“So the Compton house, that’s supposed to be yours?” 

“Mmm hmm,” I told her as I sipped my drink. 

“Well, how are you gonna’ get it from him?” 

“I have a plan, but it’s...not the best solution,” I told her, the alcohol loosening my lips. 

“Oh god. What dumb white bitch plan are you gonna do?” she asked, and I laughed.

“You mean like being chased through a house by a serial killer and running up the stairs instead of out the front door?” I asked. 

She shook her head. “Normally, I’d say yes, but...we’ve actually had a murder here recently.”

I blanched. “Really?”

“Yeah, Maudette Pickens, she was strangled,” the bartender explained.

“Oh. I didn’t know. I wasn’t...you know, joking about her or anything.”

She waved me off. “What is it that you’re gonna do?” she asked, instead.

I looked around. I saw the man with the Cajun accent kissing a redheaded waitress, and a few other folks were around, but no one really seemed to be listening to my conversation with the bartender. 

“I figure I have to fight fire with fire. I’ve found another vampire that says he can get Vampire Bill to leave my house.” 

She looked at me blankly. “What’s the catch?”

“He wants me to be ‘his’ and let him drink my blood.” 

“Aw hell no!” she responded, throwing her rag down on the bar. “Look, I just met you, but you seem like a sweet girl. You should not be lettin’ no vampire bite you and drink your blood!” she said loudly enough that the whole bar turned to stare.

“Thank you for the loud and unsolicited advice, local angry barkeep!” I sniped back. “But I don’t really think that it’s any of your business.” I downed the rest of my drink in one go, and slammed some money on the bar, and walked out. 

I was perplexed by my sudden anger. That wasn’t really like me. I grumbled to myself and walked down the steps. I was digging in my purse for my keys as I tripped down the stairs. I fell, nearly skinning my knees. Suddenly there was a man there. He hauled me up on my feet. 

“Hey there, whoa,” he said. He had a quick, charming smile and shaggy silver-streaked hair. “You probably shouldn’t be drivin’ if you’re trippin’ on the stairs.”

“I’m fine. I only had one drink. I just wasn’t paying attention,” I told him. 

“Why don’t you come back in and sit down a spell,” he offered kindly.

I look back into the bar with all the people and noises. And judgemental stares.“Thanks, but I’ve already embarrassed myself and had an argument with the bartender, so I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Tara? I knew she’d be trouble when I hired her,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m Sam Merlotte, and this here is my bar.”

“Nice to meet you, Sam Merlotte. I’m Jane Compton.” 

“Compton? As is in…” He started, and I was already tired of this.

“Yeah, the vampire is my ancestor.” 

“Wow, that’s uh…” He trailed off. 

“It’s weird. We’re actually not on the best of terms,” I said, deciding not to explain the whole house situation to him. “Thanks for the help. I’m going to go now.”

“Hey, let me at least walk you to your car,” he offered, and I accepted. I didn't say anything as we walked, but I could see him watching me. I pushed my hair behind my ear self consciously. I was trying not to be nervous. I wasn’t used to men wanting to talk to me and walk me to my car. We stopped, and he pointed at my license plate. “You from Texas?” 

“Yeah, I’m...well, I’m trying to move here,” I said.

He smiled at that. “That’s...that’s great. I’ve lived all over, and I have to say...Bon Temps is a real special place.”

There’s a moment of silence, and I heard the clinking and chatter from the bar inside, and I felt the warm, humid summer hang around us, and I smelled the clean, fresh scent of his aftershave. It was a nice moment. 

“There is something about this place, isn’t there?” I told him.

His smile is genuine. “There really is.” 

I opened my car door and got inside. 

“Thank you, Mr. Merlotte, for walking me to my car.” 

“No problem, an’ you can call me Sam,” he said.

“Thanks, Sam.” He nodded, and I closed my car door. He walked back to the bar, and I drove back to the motel. When I got inside, I cleaned up my scuffed knees, and I decided that I needed to get out, to get closer to something divine. I didn’t like this feeling inside me, eating away at me. I changed into leggings, a hoodie, and my sneakers. I got in my car and drove north, and took a turn for an area called Bear Creek. I went down the dirt road until I found a spot that people had obviously parked in before. I got out and followed a trail that led to a dock.

I sat on the dock. I looked out over the smooth reflective surface of the creek. What was out there? My mind started spinning a web of an underwater world of all the animals and creatures that lived just below the surface. Their own lives are as complicated as mine. Their rules and hierarchies are intricate and based on thousands of years of evolution and time. I couldn’t understand it—the richness of the world. 

Perhaps that was what scared me most about the world of vampires. That I couldn’t see beneath the surface. I didn’t know the rules. It was as dangerous as jumping into this dark water right now. I didn’t know what was in there. The unknown. I knew that I was losing my grip when I did just that. I stripped off my too warm hoodie. I rolled down my leggings, deftly removed my shirt and bra, and jumped right into the smooth black water. 

Once I was in, I felt great. I had no fear. I floated and splashed, and I looked up at the stars. What had I been so afraid of? Of the unknown? Of what lay beneath the surface? I swam until I couldn’t anymore, and I pulled myself out and sat on the dock and waited for my skin to dry. I needed to live this type of life, one that pushed me, one that made me question and demand more. More. I wanted it all. I wanted to dive into the river and live in the darkness of the water.

I laid down on the dock and closed my eyes and listened to the sounds around me, and without even meaning to, I had fallen asleep on the dock. 

“This is rather risky, isn’t it?” I asked my silver-eyed vampire.  

He splashed me playfully in the water. “There’s no reward without the risk,” he replied. 

When I opened my eyes, the sun was rising, and I was still just lying topless on the dock. I stood up, and I saw a boat coming into view. It had a man wearing yellow aviator sunglasses on it, and he was clearly surprised to see a topless woman standing on the dock. I snatched up all my clothes and high-tailed it back to my car to get dressed. 

I laughed out loud at myself. This was what I wanted. Adventures in the dark. Mystery and wonder and risk. After putting my shirt and leggings on, I went back to the motel to get some actual sleep. The lumpy motel bed actually felt comfortable compared to the dock, and I drifted off almost immediately. I woke late in the afternoon, feeling completely rested and happy. Content. My mind settled. After a quick shower, I dressed in a soft white rose-patterned dress that I loved the feel of. The fabric was so soft and light against my skin. I hesitated and decided against putting my necklace on. It felt wrong somehow, wearing it, knowing I was going to let another vampire bite me. 

In the dying light of the day, I drove over to my future house. I got out and admired the ivy growing over the facade, the way the columns stood, tall and proud as if over a century of time hadn’t passed. I had a sense of wistfulness. I was going to make this house mine. The day was fading fast now, and I didn’t want to have any encounters with Grandpa Bill until I had my agreement all worked out with Eric Northman. I got back into my car, and I checked my crappy little minute-by-minute flip phone to see that I had a text message from an unknown number.

Come tonight. I will be here.

I took a deep breath. I was ready.

*****

Eric’s POV - Night of Thursday, June 18th, 2009

I was so fucking done with being a Sheriff. If it weren’t required by the fucking Authority, I would have certainly quit by now. Sophie Ann called all of the Sheriffs to her ridiculous day room to see if we knew anything about who killed Reverend Newlin, his wife, and his newborn baby. I suspected that Stan Davis, in Godric’s area, had something to do with it, but I wasn’t going to give Sophie Ann anything. I disapproved of some of my fellow vampires’ rampant blood lust and violence, but I wasn’t about to become a Mainstreamer. Living on synthetic bottled blood for eternity sounded like a fate worse than death.

“That little AB neg baby came back, left me with this for you,” Pam told me when I finally got back to our nest, just an hour before dawn. She handed me a slip of paper with a phone number on it. 

Jane. Excellent. 

I would text her tomorrow. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t put my finger on who it was. Her peculiar way of getting my attention was rather ingenious, but her rare blood and tiny but curvy body had me hooked before I even knew she was a talented artist. I was going to get her drawing of me framed and hung in the bar. It was excellent, and part of me felt I could even sell prints of it and make even more money. 

Little AB negative artist. Yes, I would get Bill Compton out of my area, and I would get a lovely little companion to entertain me for a while. It was a win-win. I had not claimed a human since Sylvie, over two decades ago, and I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes again. This is just a convenient arrangement, nothing more. 

When I woke from my day's rest, I showered and dressed quickly in black clothes. It was easy to look like a vampire these days. Just dress in black. So simple. Pam and I went to the bar, and Ginger had already opened, and the vermin were starting to trickle in. I did some work in my office for a while. Checking last night's receipts, which I hadn’t had a chance to do. I texted little Jane telling her to come tonight. That would give me something to look forward to. 

Pam came in and told me that I should be on display now. Fine. I would entertain the masses. I would let them leer at my mere presence. I sat on the throne and played Tetris on my phone, passing the time as I waited. Bored, bored, so bored. I watched the women come into the bar, eyeing their luscious curves. Women, so many beautiful, delicious women. Good thing I had eternity.

Then in walks the little AB negative angel, looking as sweet and corruptible as I could have hoped. Her long silken blonde hair was pulled back to expose the graceful smooth column of her neck, and her dress showed off the shape of her clavicles nicely. I found my mouth watering and my fangs ready to drip anticoagulant at the thought of getting to taste her. My eyes wandered to the swell of her perky breasts and the ridiculous thinness of her waist that flared out to her hips and round ass. She was gorgeous. 

She walked calmly up to my dais and sat next to me smoothly as if she had done it a thousand times. The regular goth group and fans of fang gaped at her as she did that so casually. I thought that I would hear her tiny dove heart pounding, but she seemed perfectly calm. What an audacious little breather. I liked her more already. 

“Hello, Mr. Northman,” she said softly. 

I inclined my head to her. 

“Have you thought about my offer?” I replied.

She smiled a small smile. “I have. And I have some questions.”

Smart. That was good. 

“Very well.” I got up, and she followed me back to the office again. I sat behind the desk and leaned back to observe her. She was looking at me with her wide blue-green eyes. A strange uncommon color. I got the feeling that she was trying to figure something out about me, and then she came to a conclusion. She got out a small notebook. 

“If I’m yours...are you mine?” she read from her list. “I guess, what is the nature of the relationship?”

“Vampires claim. Humans cannot claim. The nature of the relationship depends upon those who are in it. Some humans find that they want to be a pet or a slave, but as for the nature of our relationship...You would be my...associate.”

“Okay. What does it mean to other vampires if I’m yours?” 

A very astute question. “They would not be able to touch you, feed from you, or harm you without facing my wrath. And it is a considerable one.” 

She grinned a little at that. “Would you expect to have sex with me?” she asked, and I saw her blood deliciously flush her cheeks all the way down to her neck.

“Expect?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “In my experience, women that I feed from expect to have sex with me.” 

She looked away uncomfortably, and I was struck by the idea that she might be innocent. “But it wouldn’t be part of our agreement because I’m not...comfortable with that.”

“Sex would be completely on your terms when you’re ready.” I leaned over and tilted her chin to meet my eyes. “That I promise you.” 

She nodded, accepting that with a swallow. 

“What would you expect then?” she asked. It was obvious that she was considering it very seriously. Excellent.

“That we would work out an arrangement to meet two or three times a week.”

“So that you can drink my blood?” she clarified.

“Yes,” I responded. “So, I can feed from you.” 

She nodded. “But I wouldn’t be, like, on-call? I could make plans, and I wouldn’t have to drop everything if you decided you needed a snack?” 

I chuckled. “No.” 

“So the hypnotism thing..”

“Glamouring.” 

“Oh. That’s what it’s called?” she asked curiously.

“Yes.”

“Would you do that to me?” I could tell that this was perhaps her most concerned question of all, and I thought about how to answer it. 

“Jane, there is some knowledge that you might become privy to by merely being in my presence. For example, if I invite you to my home and I show you my security system. Your mind would be open to any vampire that would want that information if I did not glamour you to keep it a secret. There may be times that I require that you are glamoured to keep something secret, but I will always explain to you the reason why.” 

She was silent for a moment. “You won’t give me a choice, though, on if I want to be glamoured?”

“It’s just too dangerous,” I replied. “For both myself and for you.” 

I watched her take that in. She was weighing that. “You wouldn’t make me forget anything, though?”

“Not unless you asked.” There were some things I wish I could forget. 

She stared at me hard then, and for a moment, I thought she would refuse that the idea that I will need to glamour her will be too much loss of control for her to handle. 

“Why did you humor me with all of this?” she asked. “Couldn’t you have just...glamoured me into being yours?”

She was clever. She was trying to figure me out. I found myself massively entertained. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” I replied, instead.

“You know, once, when I was a kid, I had this video game. And I really loved it. It was really hard and challenging. I finally got to a level that I just ...couldn’t get past. So I found these codes that you could put in, and it let me get past the level, and it was just so...disappointing. Like I got something that didn’t earn.”

So she did understand. A strange analogy, but accurate. 

“Well, Miss Jane Compton, are you going to agree to be mine?” 

“You’re going to get Bill out of my house still, right?”

I look at the clock. “I wouldn’t have time tonight, but tomorrow I should be able to.”

She nodded. Her blue-green eyes meet mine. “Then, yes. I agree to be yours.” 

I grinned at her broadly. Her heart thudded, and Pam burst in. 

“The vermin are getting restless,” she stated.

I glared at her. “Pam, this is Jane. She is mine. Jane, this is my progeny Pam.”

“What does that mean? Progeny?” Jane asked.

“I made her vampire,” I told her, and Pam rolled her eyes. 

I gave Pam a look. “We will be out soon,” I told her, and she left, closing the door. 

“So you made her a vampire? Is she your...wife?” Jane asked.

“Pam and I have not been intimate since I turned her a hundred years ago. She found that she prefers the fairer sex. The bond between a Maker and their Progeny is not able to be described in human terms. There is no equivalent. The bond is stronger than mother and child, than husband and wife; Pam is...my family,” I explained, and she looks a bit stunned. 

There was a silence while I watched her process all of that. I stared at her, and she looked...delicious. Jane noticed my gaze; she took in my look and then asked. “Are you...are you going to bite me now?” I saw her trying to suppress her concern. She wasn’t exactly scared, but I knew she wasn’t comfortable enough yet, and this wasn’t how I wanted to start this with her.

“No. I would like to ask you to sit on my lap on the throne. It will put my scent on you and let other vampires see that I have claimed you as mine.” 

She nodded. “Okay. I guess I have a lot to learn about...vampire culture.”

She followed me down the hall, and I went back up to my throne. She hesitated in front of me. I pulled her easily by her small waist onto my lap, and she made a small “Eep!” sound. I couldn’t help but chuckle, and I felt her body shiver as the rumble of my laughter vibrated against her. This was quite fun. I kept my hands on her waist. My hands were so large compared to her small body, and I could almost wrap them all the way around. I could feel all of her ribs, and I wondered if she got enough to eat. I used one hand and brushed her hair off her neck to scent her skin. She smells of roses, her delicious fresh rare AB negative blood, something extraordinarily pure and wild, and like river water. What had she been doing? 

I heard her heartbeat skitter as I pressed my face to her neck. She was still so nervous. I needed to distract her for a bit. 

“Why do you smell like river water?” I asked her. 

“You can smell that? But I… took a shower,” she said.

“Yes, and you used rose-scented shampoo.” I sniffed her hair. 

She mulled on that. “Is it agonizing or wonderful to sense so much?” 

I remembered when I had first turned, and everything felt as if it was too much. I could see too much, smell too much, and the hearting...there was a din of ever-present noise, and that was before modern times with constantly buzzing lights and electronics. Now, I supposed I was used to it. But it did make it hard to find peace...thus why the nest was soundproofed. 

“I got used to it,” I told her. “Now, river water runs on your skin, and I want to know why.” 

Her eyes scanned the crowd, and I watched the regulars stare at her with jealousy. I had never brought a human into my lap before. I had allowed them to join me on the dais in their own chair, but Jane was the first I had placed here. The other vampires noted her with the correct level of fear and respect. They would not touch her. 

“I went swimming last night, in a creek I found,” she said simply.

“Alone?” I asked. It seemed rather dangerous for a tiny female human to be swimming at night alone.

“No, I was with the entire universe.” 

I rolled my eyes, thankful I was behind her where she couldn’t see. She sounded like Godric. 

“You had no companion? You swam in a creek alone at night?” I made sure.

“Yes.” 

My hand trailed up the outside of her thigh, and her breath hitched. She was quite sensitive. 

“Why do all of the vampires here fear you?” she asked next, and I was surprised that she had picked up on that. Not many humans were able to read vampires very well. 

“I am the Sheriff of our region. I keep the peace and enforce laws amongst our kind. They fear me because of my power.” 

She nodded thoughtfully. I felt her muscles start to relax some, and she leaned back slightly against me, and I was pleased to see that she was becoming more comfortable. 

“There’s going to be a problem with those two,” she said, and I followed her eyes to two vampires. 

Kate and her Maker Henry had just walked in, and I could tell from their body language that there had been a recent disagreement. 

“How can you tell?” I asked her. Most humans would have read them as impassive. 

“She looks...thirsty. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else, like this place grosses him out. I can just tell she’s going to do something he isn’t going to like,” she explained astutely.

“Perhaps,” I replied. She had a skill for seeing things. 

She leaned her head back against my shoulder. She was much calmer now. 

“What did you notice about me? When you were drawing me?” I asked, curious, now that I see she’s so observant. 

“You’re like a caged lion. You weren’t meant to be kept in domesticity. You’re bored here,” she replied. “You survey this place like it’s your own personal fiefdom, and you look down upon the rabble. You don’t particularly like humans, or anyone, except for maybe Pam.” 

That was rather disturbing, and I wished I hadn’t asked. I didn’t like that she had understood me so well just from watching me for an evening. 

“Although you do like to look at the women,” she added. “All different kinds of them, but not as people, as objects de art.” 

She pronounced it the french way with so much accuracy I wondered if she speaks French. 

“Hmmm…” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why are you in my lap then? If you think so little of me?”

“I didn’t say it was wrong. I just told you what I saw. I don’t particularly like being around a lot of people either, so I get that. Appreciating the beauty of women doesn’t make you a bad person. I appreciate beauty everywhere. For example, do you see that woman over there, near the bar, the natural auburn hair?” 

I looked and spotted her. She was drinking a glass of red wine with her friends. There was nothing particularly extraordinary about her. Her hair was nice, her body average. 

“What of her?” 

“Wait until she smiles.” 

We watched her a little longer, and one of her friends said something that made her face break out into a wide grin that suddenly transformed her into a beauty. Her smile reached her green eyes, and her cheeks dimpled, and the freckles danced on her face with her laughter. 

“See? She’s beautiful, and we can appreciate it.” 

“So, we’re going to start objectifying women in the name of art?” 

She laughed a tinkling bell laugh that surprised me. How does anyone laugh that way? She made it sound like music. 

“What do you notice about this woman, the upfront here at this table?” she asked me next.

At first glance, I thought she was quite attractive. Hourglass figure, long curled brown hair highlighted with blond. 

“Hot,” I told her. 

“Keep watching.”

The longer I watched, the more I saw. She kept looking around as if scoping the place out, and when vampires would walk by, she smiled at them flirtatiously but immediately stopped once they were gone. She checked her phone almost constantly and pulled out a compact mirror to check her makeup. The longer I watched her, the less appealing she became. Her hourglass figure was clearly bought and made of plastic, her highlights faked. She was like a painting that looked wonderful from a distance, but when you got closer, it turned out to just be random splotches of paint. 

“That’s rather disappointing,” I whispered to Jane. 

She grinned at me cheekily. “I know, right?” 

The night wore on, and we made observations about the people in the bar. I found that I enjoyed her company. She wasn’t obsessed with asking me questions about being a vampire, and she didn’t give any indication that she was interested in vampires, whether blood or turning. I enjoyed it immensely after dealing with the types that the bar usually attracts. Kate and Henry did end up having a big blowout, and I had to boot them outside. When I returned, Jane was standing next to the throne with a knowing little smile, and then I pulled her back into my lap. 

Longshadow announced last call, and I still held Jane against my lap. “I like this place more than I thought I would,” Jane told me.

“Why’s that?” 

She hesitated a moment. “I don’t usually like bars, but I had fun tonight. It was like we got to see into the heads and stories of all the different kinds of folks that came in. It was like looking into a pointillism painting and trying to determine the exact shade of a single dot. And then another, and another, and I finally feel like after looking at all the dots tonight that I have better feel for the whole painting, for this place.”

She was strange, but oddly enough, I knew what she meant. The people that came here were what made Fangtasia run, and it took all kinds. 

“You’re odd,” I tell her, as a compliment. 

“No, I’m perfectly normal. Plain Jane,” she replied, completely unaware of how unusual she is. 

“Jane, I have been walking this earth for over a thousand years. You are odd, but all the best ones are.” 

“A thousand years?” she asked. “Oh my.” Her heart pounded harder than I had heard from her. 

“Does that frighten you?” I asked her, and I thought I had just made her comfortable. 

“No,” she replied, and then I saw that her neck had flushed with her blood again. She was...aroused? By my age? And she thought she wasn’t odd. The bar was empty, and Pam came up.

“I’m going to the nest,” she told me in Swedish. “Have fun with your new toy.”

“Careful Pam,” I told her, also in Swedish. She gave me a raised eyebrow and then left. 

“What language was that?” She asked. 

“Swedish,” I told her. 

She nodded. She took in the empty room. 

“Turn and face me,” I told her, and she did as I asked, straddling me on the throne. 

I took in her blue-green eyes, and they were wide with curiosity. “You said you gave you blood once before? Tell me about that.”

The look that graced her face was one that was hard to describe, and I immediately became jealous of whoever it was that caused her to have such an expression. 

“Ummm...it was. It’s hard to explain. I just met him, and we talked. He was hungry, and I let him bite me. He was...gentle and kind.”

“Did you have sex with him?” I asked, more out of jealousy than anything else. 

“No, but he gave me a kiss,” she said, and she blushed again. Gods, all the blood rushing to her skin made me salivate. 

“I’m going to bite you now, and I’ll be gentle too.” 

“Okay,” she breathed out. 

I leaned in and licked the skin of her neck. It would help prepare her skin for the puncture as it had mild analgesic properties. She tasted delicious. Of river water and roses and something that was just...her. Her heart pounded like a drum, and her body temperature rose beneath my hands quickly.  I brought my hands up higher on her little rib cage. Gods, if I wasn’t careful, I could break her; she was so tiny. I snicked my fangs out and scraped them lightly against her throat, and she ground herself against my lap as if unable to stop the automatic impulse of her body to move against mine. Oh...she liked it. I moved my hands down to her hips so that I could feel her grinding against me better. 

Gently I pressed my teeth against her puncturing the skin of her neck just slightly with the tips of my fangs, and she moaned, a true, genuine, uncontrived moan that shot straight to my groin and hardened my cock against her. Fuck. I had not expected this from her. She seemed so innocent and sweet. I hadn’t expected her to writhe and moan against my fangs. I released my fangs from the small puncture, and I allowed my mouth and lips to work against her neck to suck the blood from either side of her jugular. Her blood was extraordinary. AB negative was always a rare treat, but there was something more to her taste. It was pure, with a wild earthiness to it that I had never tasted before. With each pull I took from her, she mewled and wriggled, moving against me in the same rhythm that I was using to drink her delicious rare blood.

I continued to drink from her, and her muscles became tense, poised. She was going to peak? From my bite?  Unable to help myself, I slid my fangs back out and punctured her a little deeper, and she wailed, her muscles spasming, her heartbeat going wild, her chest flushed pink, clearly climaxing in my lap. Her blood was filled with endorphins, and I drank deeply, surprised, and elated. 

What. The. Fuck.

I released my fangs from her neck and licked her neck over so the bite would hurt less and heal more quickly. I listened to her recover. Her breathing returned to normal, and her heartbeat went back to its steady thudding.  I had never had a human come from my bite alone.  I could make them come with some well-timed movements of my cock or hands along with the bite, but from a little bit of grinding and just a soft bite? 

Unheard of.

“Oh. I’m...so sorry,” she said, getting off my lap and hiding her face in her hands. 

She was embarrassed. It was darling. 

“I’m impressed by my prowess, never had I made someone come with my bite alone,” I told her, and I could smell the heady sweet scent of her arousal. It made me crave her body. 

“That happened the last time I was bit too, and I thought maybe it was just a fluke. I should have warned you,” Jane mumbled through her hands. 

I tried to suppress my jealousy. So it wasn’t just me that caused this reaction. It was that she got off on the bite. I stood, and I realized that she had got my lap damp. She came so hard that her release soaked through her panties and onto my slacks. Holy fuck. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said, finally uncovering her face. 

I swallowed uselessly. She was sorry? What was this creature?

“Don’t apologize,” I said, not understanding her at all.

“Oh. Okay,” she said, clearly still very embarrassed. “Did you get enough blood?”

I looked at her lasciviously. “For now,” I replied. “Can you come out to the bar tomorrow? I will come back with you to Bon Temps and take care of the intruder in your home after the bar closes.” 

She smiled, suddenly happy. “Okay. Yes, I can come out tomorrow. My schedule is pretty open right now because I’m on summer break.” 

“Well, thank you for the delightful and surprising evening. I have enjoyed the process of claiming you thus far," I told her as I walked her out. Her car was parked rather far away.

“Uh...you’re welcome, I guess. Sorry..you know, um, your pants.” She blushed even harder. So delicious.

“Please don’t apologize. It was a very...satisfying reaction,” I told her. 

She turned. “Look, I don’t want us to get our signals crossed here. I’m not the type of person that has sex with someone just because of the physical pleasure of the act.” 

I raised my eyebrow. Where was she going with this?

“I...I don’t plan on having sex with you. I can’t do friends with benefits or associates with benefits or whatever we’re going to call this.” 

I nodded. I was struggling to understand. 

“You’re...saving yourself then? For what, marriage?” I tried to clarify. 

“No. I mean, I have had sex, once before.” She had only had sex once? “To be honest, it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be, and I need...connection. Deep connection,” she explained. She may as well be a virgin for all the experience she had. 

“So, you want to be in love?” I asked, my tone dripping with sarcasm. 

She rolled her eyes at me. “I can tell you don’t get it, and that’s fine, but...I just don’t want to give you the wrong idea, you know, based on what just happened.”

I opened her car door for her, and she got inside. 

“Well, you can reserve the right to change your mind,” I told her with as much innuendo as I could muster. 

She laughed like little bells chiming. “Goodnight, Mr. Northman.”

I closed the door, and she drove away. 

Well, I did enjoy a challenge. 

Chapter Text

Chap 4

Jane’s POV -  Friday, June 19th, 2009

When I woke the next day, I examined my neck in the mirror. I had two small red dots on my neck that looked at least a week old, not just one night. That had happened before, with my first vampire too. I wondered if they had something on their fangs that made it heal magically faster. I thought about covering it up with makeup, but I didn’t want it to get infected. I hadn’t packed any scarves or anything either, so I was just going to have to wear the marks proudly. 

I dressed in another sundress, my favorite thing to wear in the heat. I stared at the small hammer necklace, so warm and somehow heavy in my hand, as silver-gray eyes and a beautiful smile teased the corners of my vision. Frowning, I shook my head and placed the necklace in my bag - no, it was a piece of a sacred moment that I wasn’t ready to share with Eric yet, if ever.  I decided to go back to Merlotte’s, as the other diner didn’t really have anything that I could eat. I felt a rising excitement. I would be getting my house back tonight! I had held up my end of the deal, and now he would hold up his. I pulled into the parking lot and got out. 

The blonde mind-reading waitress wasn’t there, but a bottle redhead who looked at my neck with derision led me to a table. She slapped a menu down in front of me and then ran off to try to take care of another table that was shouting for a check. Was she the only one working? That hardly seemed fair. I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was just stressed. I flipped through the menu and decided on the chef’s salad sans meat, eggs, and cheese. And a sweet tea. 

I had to wait a long time for her to get back to me, but it was hardly her fault. 

“Sorry about the wait. The other waitress who is supposed to be workin’ hasn’t shown up for her shift,” she apologized, trying not to stare at my bite. “What can I get for you?”

“No problem. Can I have the chef’s salad, no meat, no cheese, no eggs?”

“You sure, honey, there’s not going to be much to it?” she asked to be sure.

“I’m a picky eater. If they can throw more veggies and things that don’t have anything that comes from animals on it, I’d be much obliged. And a sweet tea, please," I added politely.

“Sure thing. I’ll try to be back as soon as I can,” the redhead said as she hurried off. 

I saw Sam Merlotte rush out from the back, his face ghostly white. 

“Dawn didn’t come in ‘cause she was murdered just like Maudette,” he told the redheaded waitress.

“What?!” she exclaimed, and the whole bar went silent. 

“Strangled in her apartment. I gotta go down there, Sook...she was the one who found her,” he said and ran out. As soon as he left, the bar exploded with sound as patrons leaned in towards each other to whisper loudly and weave stories of what could have happened. 

Another murder. Dawn was strangled in the same way - a serial killer. I swallowed. Was I sure I wanted to live here? 

My waitress finally came out with my salad. “I brought you the vinaigrette. It’s the only dressing without dairy, and Terry, the chef, put some more veggies on the salad for you.” 

I looked down and saw that they had completely loaded the salad with all kinds of veggies, some nuts, olives, and artichoke hearts. 

“Oh, wow! This is amazing! Tell the chef thank you for me, please?” I said, and I saw a man’s face peek out from the kitchen serving window and then quickly hide again. 

“I will,” she said shortly. Then she rushed off again. 

A large woman wearing a lot of makeup suddenly rushed in and announced to the whole bar, “They arrested Jason Stackhouse!”

That apparently meant a lot to the people in the bar, and they started gossiping and chatting even with even more excitement. I enjoyed my delicious salad, although my waitress had forgotten entirely about my sweet tea. When she came with my check, she realized it. 

“Can you just owe me one? That way, you don’t have to ring it up again?” I asked her. 

“Sure. You a local now?” she asked, her eyes straying to my neck. 

“I’m hoping to become one. We’ll see,” I replied. “But, I’ll definitely be back for another salad, and I left a little extra tip, and I was hoping that you could make sure that the chef sees some of it?” I asked with a smile.

“Oh, of course.” She noticed that I left her a generous tip as well. “Say, what’s your name?”

“I’m Jane Compton,” I told her and waited for the inevitable. 

“Compton?! Did he bite you? His own kin?” She looked outraged. 

“Ugh, ick, no!” I replied automatically. 

“Oh!” she said awkwardly, embarrassed by her outburst. “Just..you never know with these vampires…” 

“No, I’m not really into the vampire thing. It’s a complicated story about how I got bit,” I explained. 

“I thought you seemed too sweet to be one of them fang bangers going to that vamp bar...Dawn and Maudette went there, and they both ended up dead,” she warned me. 

I stood to leave, done talking to this judgemental woman. “Well, thanks for lunch, and I won’t forget about that sweet tea,” I told her, and she smiled at me as I left. 

This town was a little crazy. I was starting to get a better feel for that now. Two murders in a week? I went back to my motel room and packed up all of my things so that when I came back, all I would have to do was grab my suitcase and check out. I had been staying up so late and sleeping so late that it was now almost four o’clock. 

I decided to go back out to Bear Creek to watch the sunset, and I pulled on a hoodie over my dress to keep myself from being eaten alive by bugs. I slipped off my little white sandals and dangled my feet off the dock. 

“Hey!” a man's voice called from behind me. 

I turned. It was the man with the yellow aviators - the one who was out fishing when I was topless on the dock.

“Hello,” I called back, and he froze in response.

“Are you real?” he asked. “Cuz’ sometimes I see things that ain’t there, but it’s never been a pretty little blonde girl before.” 

“I’m as real as any of us, I suppose,” I told him, and he walked closer. 

“Were you out here on the dock the other mornin’?” he asked. 

“Uh...yeah, I was,” I told him, a little embarrassed. 

“What were you doing out here, at four am, naked? Not that I blame yah, I’ve done that before,” he said, and he sat down next to me. 

I laughed. “Well, I actually was out swimming the night before, and then while I was waiting to dry, I fell asleep on the dock here,” I explained. 

“Oh. That’s good. I’m glad you're not a hallucination. I thought maybe you were until I saw you at the bar today.”

I thought. “You’re the chef. You’re Terry.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he said, and it was then that I could tell that he was former military. And that maybe he had some...scars. 

“That was the best salad I have ever had. And I eat a lot of salads,” I told him, and he blushed, embarrassed. “No, it’s true!” I exclaimed, feeling somewhat embarrassed myself. I shifted on the dock, mulling over our mutual embarrassment… and then nearly fell off the dock and into the water.  Terry thankfully grabbed me by the arms before I did. 

“Hold on there,” he said as he pulled me back up. 

“Thanks.” 

Terry and I sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet moment and shared company. I liked his energy - it was soothing. 

“It’s nice here.” 

“Yeah.”

The night fell around us. I heard frogs start to croak, and crickets begin to chirp.

"This was fun,” I told him as I stood. “Bye, Terry.”

“Yeah, bye!” he said as I started to walk away. “Wait!” he suddenly called out when I almost reached the end of the dock. 

"What is it?” I asked. 

“I want to show you somethin’,” he pulled a necklace out from under his shirt; it looked like a wishbone. “It’s from a possum. They have a two-pronged penis.” 

I tilted my head at him to see if this was some sort of joke, but he seemed genuine and serious. “That’s really cool, Terry!” I told him, and he beamed at me. His smile warmed me from the inside out, like when my elementary students would show me their art, and they would be so darn proud of themselves that I just couldn’t help but be proud too.

“I think it’s lucky,” he explained to me. “You want me to get you one?” 

“Only if you come across a possum that has met its fate due to natural causes.” I grinned at him, and he nodded thoughtfully. “Goodnight, Terry.”

“Goodnight...nice lady,” he said, not knowing my name.

“It’s Jane!” I yell at him over my shoulder.

“Night, Jane!” he said back, waving.

What a strange nice man. I felt like I could be his friend. He saw the world a little differently, and I liked that. He had clearly been through a lot. I drove to Shreveport, and I thought about the people I had met so far in Bon Temps. The mind-reading waitress, and the handsome bar owner, the redheaded waitress, and the angry bartender. I liked Terry the most out of all of them. He seemed nice...maybe just a little lost. 

When I got to Fangtasia, it was about half an hour after they opened. I walked in, and the crowd was small as it was pretty early. Eric’s progeny was at the door. 

“Hi, um Pam, right?” I asked her. 

“Hey, doll, he’s in the office,” she replied with her same tone of bored tolerance. 

“Thanks, Pam.” 

I walked down the hall, and I knocked on the closed office door. Eric opened it, and I could see he was on his phone. He let me in, his eyes trailing over me, and he seemed...angry? The look made me feel a little miffed myself! I tried to think of what could have happened between now and last night to make him look at me like that.

“Yes, your majesty,” he said. “I understand.” He hung up, the irritated look still on his face. Who would he call ‘your majesty’? That was weird. 

“Another man has touched you,” he accused. 

“What?” 

“Here, and here.” Eric indicated the sides of my arms. Oh! When Terry grabbed me so I wouldn’t fall in the creek. 

“So?” I asked, crossing my arms, still feeling a bit testy. “Is this some sort of weird territorial thing?” I questioned him. 

He looked away darkly. “Yes,” he replied but didn’t elaborate.

“How will I know what this means if you don’t explain it to me?”

“I will not...forbid…. you from having contact with others,” he was able to grit out. “But, I will need you not to meet with me smelling of their scent.”  

“You can smell scents on me even after I shower?” 

He nodded. “I will get you some soap that will work. I will tell you now that it is rather harsh on the skin. But it will also work on your clothes.” 

I unzipped the hoodie, and I tossed it on the floor as Eric came over and sniffed me again. 

“Better?” 

He just continued to sniff the top of my head. 

“How do you feel tonight?” he finally responded, looking at his marks on my neck. 

I hadn’t really even thought about it. “Fine. The same as always,” I responded with a light shrug. 

“Good,” he turned to his desk. “I have some work to finish up here. You’re welcome to stay or go out to the bar and get a drink.” 

I smiled. “I’ll go get a drink.” 

He paused before I left. “Jane, you should know that too much alcohol can thin the blood.” 

I think I had heard that before. “What does that mean?” 

He looked at my throat and swallowed. “It means that if I feed from you tonight, your blood will flow more freely if you drink alcohol, but it also makes it harder for your blood to clot.”

“So...would a glass of wine be okay?” I asked, thinking about what I had wanted to get.

“You should be fine with that. It’s hard alcohol that can be...dangerous,” Eric finished.

“I’m not much of a drinker.” 

“I know. It’s obvious by the taste of your blood.”

I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or just an observation, so I turned and left. I walked down and went out to the bar. The same Native American bartender from before was there. 

“I see that you were able to get his attention,” he told me, indicating my bite.

“I guess so.”

“What would you like?” 

“A glass of white wine, please.”

I sat at the bar, sipping my wine and observing the people beginning to trickle into Fangtasia. I then noticed three vampires walk into the bar - a woman and two men. One of the men was big, with tattoos covering most of his body, even on the bare skin of his bald head, and he was wearing a grin that spelled trouble. The woman was a tall, skinny black woman with a bushy afro and full lips curled into a sneer. The other man, smaller than the first one but likely no less dangerous, had a weasley look about him and greasy slicked-back dark hair. The weasley male vampire seemed like maybe he was the leader, his sharp eyes taking in the room before landing on me. 

The weasley man smiled at me evilly and slowly slinked his way over to me at the bar, his companions following behind him with equally worrying grins on their faces. “My, my, my Northman is doing well for himself,” he drawled.

Something about him put my hackles up right away. 

The woman came over to me, right in my space but careful not to touch me, and gave me a sly look while she took a deep sniff and crooned, “Aww...look at this. Eric’s got a little AB baby”. 

“Fuck yeah! You’re a nice little piece, blondie,” the bald vampire told me as he eyed me lasciviously. 

The bartender looked at them, unimpressed. “What’ll it be?” he asked, only briefly drawing their attention away from me.

“You got any AB neg that I can have?” the woman asked as she turned back to me, “How about you, sweetie?” The woman stared at me, and I recognized the look in her eye - it was like a cat playing with a mouse. 

I swallowed, and I didn’t know how to respond. 

“Oh, look, it’s scared.” The weasley man laughed. 

Suddenly Eric rushed out from the back, and I released a breath. 

“Malcolm, Diane, Liam - I hope I don’t see you threatening what’s mine.” Eric’s power radiated off him, and I saw them all shiver. He clearly intimidated them, and it instantly made me feel more comfortable. 

“Of course not, Sheriff,” the weasel-like one, Malcolm, started. “Although, I’m surprised to see you claiming a human.” 

Eric ran his finger softly down my cheek in a way that I sure would be demeaning if I didn’t realize it’s purpose. “I find her to be quite...diverting so far,” he said wryly.

They all chuckled. 

“While in my area, stay out of trouble. Go fuck up someplace else,” Eric warned them as he continued to pet me. 

“Oh, Eric. You never were much fun,” Diane complained. “And now even Bill Compton is Mainstreaming.” 

Eric thought about that. “Interesting and unlikely,” he stated. “If not impossible.”

“Well, that’s what he said! He had a hot sweet little blonde with him too,” Liam said as he continued to eye me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. 

“Stay out of my bar and out of trouble,” Eric told them in an authoritative tone.

“Fine. Let’s roll. This place is played out anyway,” Diane griped. 

Once they left, I released a breath that I didn’t know I was holding and quickly gulped the rest of my wine in one go, slowly feeling the tension in my muscles begin to slide away. Eric led me back to his office and motioned for me to sit down in the available chair before sitting on the edge of his desk. 

I realized that I was shaking, hands clenched together in a death grip on each other, and I made an effort to relax and flex them before looking up at Eric slowly.

“Was that...normal?” I asked. 

“They’re a particularly vicious nest of vampires, but it’s not out of the ordinary,” he replied. “Did any of them touch you?” 

I shook my head. “No. Diane got real up in my space, but she didn’t touch me.”

He leaned forward and sniffed me a bit before eventually nodding once he seemed satisfied. 

My heart-rate finally returning to normal, I swallowed and nervously rubbed my palms over the material of my dress, and asked, “What should I have done?” 

“If you ever feel like a vampire is threatening you and I am in the building - just call for me. Literally. Yell my name, and I will come to you,” he explained. 

I was astounded, “From anywhere in the building?” 

“Yes, I could probably hear you from a little farther, but that’s a good estimate,” he replied casually. “If I am not around, then state that you are mine.” 

“I just say. ‘I am Eric Northman’s’?” I repeated the words, and I saw Eric’s eyes bore into me. He liked hearing me say the words, it seemed. 

“Yes, just like that,” he replied hoarsely. 

“Oh.” I was starting to feel calmer, my adrenaline wearing off, or the glass of wine that I downed was finally hitting me, or perhaps a bit of both. 

“Come sit with me?” he asked, holding out his hand. 

“Alright,” I agreed. He led me out to the bar, and it was much more crowded than earlier. He arranged me in his lap just like before. 

“So...all the vampires can hear what we’re saying when we’re up here?” I asked.

“Yes, but generally, they have their own interests to attend to, finding humans to feed from and so on,” he said. “They won’t waste their time listening to us, but it is important not to say anything offensive about them because they could hear it.” 

I nodded. 

“Tell me what you did today,” he demanded.

I rolled my eyes. I was starting to get used to Eric’s imperious attitude. 

“I slept late, and I had a delicious salad. I found out there had been another murder, ummm…” I paused, and I could feel my brow furrowing a bit as I thought of what else I had done that day. “Oh! I went back to the creek and almost fell in, but the chef from the bar grabbed me before I did.” 

“The chef? Why was he there?” I tried to look over my shoulder at him to see his expression, but I couldn’t.  

“I don’t know. He saw me out on the dock really early in the morning the other day when I had stayed out all night swimming. He was out fishing, and he wanted to know if he had imagined me.”

“Why would he think he had imagined you?” he asked me next. 

“I think he has PTSD, and he seemed like maybe he was a former military person. Or maybe because...well, I didn’t swim in my clothes,”  I explained. 

He froze for a second. “You swam nude all night in a creek, and a man saw you? Then followed you back there later on?” 

Well, when he put it that way, it sounded bad. “I actually fell asleep on the dock, and he saw me when I woke up. I don’t know if he followed me or if he just happened to be there,” I rushed to clarify and sighed. “He was nice.” 

Eric didn’t say anything for a while, but his hands were tight on my waist.  

“Let me up,” I said. “Please.”

“Why?” 

“So I can go pee,” I told him, and he chuckled. He released me then, and I went to the restroom. I used the stall, and when I came out, I leaned against the counter and just stared at myself in the mirror for a moment, wide eyes staring back. Was I being reckless? Was swimming at night alone really as dangerous as Eric had made it sound? I didn’t know. I washed and dried my hands, still thinking about Eric's obvious concern. 

Walking back from the restroom, I saw a balding man with a mustache and a blue dress shirt approaching Eric on the throne, the man’s eyes fixed on Eric with a look of awe in them. He exuded desperation, and as soon as he kneeled in front of Eric, I could tell that this would not go well. Just as I had predicted, as soon as the man touched him, Eric kicked him, and he cut his head open. A lady vampire with a bob haircut and in a short black leather black dress quickly zoomed in on him, introducing herself and helping him up before whisking him away. The commotion over, I walked back up to Eric, and he pulled me into his lap.

“He touched you,” I observed.

“He did,” Eric said. “I don’t want to be pawed at by every pathetic creature that crawls into this place. I had to make an example of him.”

“Well, I imagine that he’s getting what he wanted anyway, what with how that vampire was looking at him.”

“You have very astute powers of observation,” he complimented me. “What do you notice now?”

I scanned the room. Then I saw it. “Bill’s here,” I said, stunned. 

“He has a human with him,” Eric stated, and I saw the blonde waitress from Merlotte’s.

“Oh, she’s weird,” I remembered her strange ability to know what I had been thinking.

“That’s like the pot calling the kettle black,” he replied with the old turn of phrase. 

“I’m not weird!” I exclaimed. I was just an introvert, not a mind reader. 

“Shall we have them come up?” he asked, but I could already tell he was going to have them come up.

“Are you going to kick him out of my house?” I asked him excitedly. 

“Oh no, you’re going to, and I’m going to enforce it,” he replied with an amused smile. 

Pam came over and whispered to him in Swedish and then stood behind us. Eric motioned for the couple to come up. They reluctantly came and stood before us. 

“Bill Compton. It has been a while,” Eric said blandly, as he trailed his hand possessively down my neck. 

“Yes, well... I've been…” Bill started to explain.

“Mainstreaming. I heard. I see that is…” Eric looked at Bill’s arm around the waitress’s waist. 

“...going well for you.”

“Yes, of course. Uh, sorry. Eric, this is my friend…” Bill started to say, but Eric interrupted. 

“Sookie Stackhouse.” He cut him off, showing him that he already knew. I mockingly smiled at them. I knew it was a little petty, but I was so happy I would soon be getting my house back.

“How do you know my name?” Sookie asked.  

Pam pointed to her forehead. “I never forget a pretty face.  You're in my vault.”

“Great. That's just great. It's nice to meet you,” Sookie said, her worry deepening.

“Well, aren't you sweet,” Eric emphasized the word sweet, but I wasn’t sure why.

“Not really,” Sookie replied sassily, and Bill tried to elbow her subtlety. She clearly had no idea of who she was dealing with.

Pam leaned over and whispered some more Swedish to Eric. 

“Miss Stackhouse, I understand you've been asking questions about some of my customers,” he stated, and I feel a bit of a threat behind the statement. 

“Yes, I have,” Sookie replied with confidence. 

“If you have anything to ask, you should ask it of me,” Eric said, and I saw him lean over slightly. Was he trying to sniff her?

“All righty.” Sookie dug around in her purse and produced two photos, and she passed them to Eric. “You recognize either one of these girls?”

“Hmm... well, this one offered herself to me. But I found her too pathetic for my attentions.” He indicated the less pretty of the two. She did look rather… pitiful. 

“Now, this one, however...I have tasted,” he said rather seductively, a knowing smirk on his face. I looked over at the photo of the pretty girl with a beauty queen smile. She had the look of a flirty and fun party girl. He implied that he had done more than just drink her blood. I saw Sookie’s eyes flick to mine as if expecting a reaction from me at this statement. What, did she think that Eric was my boyfriend? That I would be jealous? I almost laughed out loud at the idea. 

He handed her back the photos.

“Well... thank you very much. That is all your time I need to take,” she said in an effort to escape. 

“I'm not finished with you yet!” Eric stated. The tone in his voice brooked no argument. “Please. Sit.”

Sookie sat in the seat to our right, and Bill sat awkwardly in the chair on the other side of us. 

“So, Bill. I hear you are living in my human’s house. Against her wishes,” Eric stated in bald terms. 

“It is mine!” Bill claimed. “I helped build that house.”

“Yes. Bill lived there first,” Sookie stated stubbornly.

“More's the pity. For you,” Eric purred with a sly smile. This was too much fun. I would definitely remember this for a very long time. 

Then, out of nowhere, Sookie seemed alarmed.

“We have to get out of here,” she said frantically, looking at a man in the crowd. What kind of escape was this? I wanted my house back!

“Sookie…” Bill started, but Sookie interrupted.

“Eric, the cops are coming. There's gonna be a raid…” 

Eric’s teasing grin immediately dropped and was replaced with a look of intense focus. Eric was furious and leaned towards Sookie as he questioned her, “Tell me you're not an undercover cop…”.

“I'm not, but that man in the hat is,” Sookie exclaimed. 

“Even if you're right, we do nothing illegal here.” Why did I get a niggling feeling of doubt at that statement?

“There's a vampire named Taryn in the ladies' room with that man you kicked before. She's feeding on him,” Sookie explained quickly, and it occurred to me that she really could read people's thoughts. That’s how she had known what I wanted to order. 

“How do you know this?” Pam stared Sookie down as if her stare alone would make Sookie spill all her secrets. 

Suddenly police officers started storming into the bar, shouting loudly and attempting to round customers up. 

“Follow me,” Eric said, lifting me quickly into his arms. He led us out the back and started zooming us away at vampire speed. 

“Don’t think that this conversation is over, Bill. Far from it,” Eric warned him. He eyed Sookie curiously, and then we were gone.

“Close your eyes if you’re prone to motion sickness,” Eric told me as we picked up more speed, and I snapped my eyes close.

I felt a breeze passing over me for a few minutes, and then it stopped. Eric set me down, and we stood before a large wrought iron gate. Eric punched in a code, and the gate swung open, and Pam and I stepped inside it as Eric shut it behind us. 

“Another fuckin’ raid,” Pam yelled. “You need to get the AVL lawyers involved.”

Eric nodded. “I agree. It’s first on the agenda tomorrow. If that doesn't work, a little bribe and a well-placed glamour for the Chief of Police will be the next move,” he added with a very characteristic smirk. 

I thought about that. It made sense. 

They’re targeting you because you’re a vampire business,” I said my thoughts aloud. “That’s...prejudiced.” 

“No, shit,” Pam replied with an eye roll. 

I mulled on the implications for vampires being out of the coffin. I hadn’t considered how dangerous it was for them. We reached the house, a rather modern-looking building that had windows of full tinted glass. Eric put in another code and the front door unlocked. We entered into an open floor plan, the entry blending into a large living room, dining area, and kitchen. Pam turned and went down the hall away from us. 

“This is ...your home?” I asked, looking around curiously. There were many interesting objects and pieces of artwork displayed, and I knew I could spend hours observing and sketching some of the things he had out.

“Yes, one of them,” he replied, leading me through. “I am going to ask that you stay here for the rest of the evening and all of tomorrow day.” 

“Oh. Why?” I asked. 

“It is not safe to be driving now with the raid, and it will be too near dawn for me to take you to your car by the time that it is safe. Additionally, once the alarm is set for the day, it will be triggered if you leave from the inside,” he explained. 

“Okay. That’s fine.” It wasn’t like I had anywhere to go. 

Eric called down the hallway in Swedish, and Pam responded in kind. 

“Luckily, we do have some human food for you. Pam had one of her pets staying here for a while.” 

“Am...would someone describe me as your pet?” I asked as I followed him into the sleek modern kitchen. 

“They could, but they would be wrong. I don’t keep pets,” he replied. “And you don’t strike me as the type who would want to be a pet.” 

I shook my head vigorously. “No. I would not like that.” 

“Feel free to eat any of the human food, but check the expiration dates,” he said, showing me a cabinet. “Do not open the fridge or freezer,” he warned me seriously. 

“Why?”

“That is where we store donor blood.” His tone was deathly serious. “I don’t want you even to be tempted to open it.” My face must have shown my confusion because he went on. “It is human blood, and while unlikely, it could contain human diseases. HIV, AIDs, Hepatitis B, and C, Syphilis…I would feel...most remiss if you were exposed to one of these whiles under my protection.” 

I nodded. “I understand now. But if you drank contaminated blood, couldn’t you pass it through your bite?” I asked, just thinking of that for the first time.

“Only if I did not sheath my fangs between drinking the blood and the bite. The disease dies in the vampire system. There are still vampires in silver for passing AIDS during the epidemic in the 80s. It is a most serious offense.” 

“I hadn’t even thought of that before now.” 

We stood silently for a moment. 

Pam came in and said something in Swedish to Eric, and he responded. 

“Come with me,” he said, and we walked down the hall past what appeared to be bedrooms and an office. Stopping at the door at the end of the hall, Eric entered a code into the keypad next to the door. The door opened and slowly illuminated to reveal a set of stairs leading down towards what looked to be the basement. He motioned for me to go down first, then entered a code into the keypad to close the door before following behind me. 

We were in a long basement hallway with three doors. Eric came down and entered another code and then turned the knob and again let me enter first.

“Is this your bedroom?” I asked. A large bed dominated the room; the walls painted a navy blue. There was one large black and white photo on the wall of a city I didn’t recognize. 

“It is. This house is...a very secret place. A vampire at rest is at their most vulnerable. Before you leave tomorrow, I will need to glamour you,” he explained softly. 

“Why did you bring me down here?” I asked, looking at the bed. 

He grinned at me flirtatiously. “Change your mind yet?” 

“Eric!” I exclaimed. 

“Pam wanted to heat up a donor blood, and I wasn’t comfortable having you around while she did that.” 

I didn’t respond. Eric took the donor blood thing very seriously. He was staring at me, and I realized he was looking at me with the same intent stare from the other day when he fed on me in Fangtasia. 

“Oh!” I said when I realized. “Did you...are you…thirsty?” I mumbled. He nodded slowly, eyes hungrily tracing the curve of my neck.

“May I feed from you? I realize I did not get your house released to you yet,” he said, and I knew that I could say no if I wanted to. It made me feel more comfortable. 

“I know you will,” I responded. Remembering how pleased Eric seemed earlier, I tried using the words he taught me at Fangtasia, “You can...feed from me.” 

Eric’s lips curled into a smile. “Would you like the bite in the same place as before?” he asked, coming over to stroke my neck. His icy eyes looked at the twin marks he had left on me, with something like...pride?

I shook my head. “Is there someplace that you can bite me that people won’t see as easily?” I asked. 

His eyes darkened as he leaned forward and replied, “There is, but I’m not sure you’re ready for it.”

“Where?” 

“The femoral artery. On your inner thigh,” Eric whispered, and his voice deepened to a lower register.

I swallowed. That would be very intimate. 

“There’s nowhere else?” 

“I could bite any part of your body, and it would bleed, but the jugular and the femoral are the least painful. I could bite your wrist, but I would have to pull for quite a while, as well as from your inner elbow. The pulling causes pressure, creating unnecessary pain, and bruising.”

That made sense. I weighed my options  - I wanted my neck to heal, and  I figured out pretty quickly that if I was going to get a teaching job in this town, it would be prudent not to have bite marks on my neck. 

“Okay, let’s try the femoral,” I said, a little nervous. 

He was frozen for a moment as if he couldn’t process what I said and then spurred quickly into action. 

“Sit on the bed,” he directed me. I sat on the luxurious looking bed. It felt firm and plush, and oh so comfortable, the comforter on top soft under my palms. He knelt before me and took off my little sandals, and he set them aside. “Lay in the center of the bed,” he told me next, and I scooted to the middle of the bed and laid down. 

He removed his shoes and then crawled up the bed from the bottom. He sat on his knees before me, and I saw that his pupils were blown black. 

“Spread your legs and lift your dress,” he commanded. 

I felt myself flush, but I did both.  With an air of approval, Eric looked down at me. I was both relieved and pleased that I had decided to put on my nice pair of light pink cotton panties today. He leaned down and sniffed my thigh, and I felt myself clench as his breath swirled through my panties against me. Why was this so arousing? I mean, he was just going to bite me. I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm and talk myself down. 

Suddenly Eric licked my left leg higher up than I thought he would, catching me by surprise. 

“Bend your leg, and turn it out slightly,” he told me, and I tried to do as he asked. “Can I adjust you?” he asked because clearly, I didn’t do what he wanted. 

“Yes,” I said, and my voice came out all breathy.

Eric reached out and gently bent my knee, his hand large even when compared to my leg.  He then pushed my thigh down, so my leg was jutting out at a nearly ninety-degree angle from my body. 

“Quite flexible,” he said more to himself than to me. 

I swallowed again. Eric kept his cool hand on me, holding me open to him. He started licking the skin right near the crease of my leg, and then I felt his fangs rasp gently against the delicate thin skin there. It felt like a white-hot prod of arousal to my core, and I couldn’t help but whimper. 

“Shhh…” he tried to soothe me. “It won’t hurt.” 

He scraped his fangs against me again, and a strangled moaning sound escaped me - it was like that spot was directly connecting to all of the nerves in my body. 

“Oh...” he rumbled deeply, understanding that it was not fear that I was shaking with. He mumbled something foreign that had a tone of profanity. Then he barely pressed his fangs into the tense flesh of my inner thigh. The scorching pinch flew through my body, and I felt a surge of wanton desire. My hands frantically grabbed hold of the comforter underneath me in a tight grip, and a soft gasp escaped me. It was such a strange sensation, and I felt out of control...I hadn’t felt this way ever. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle it. 

“Oh. I don’t know…” I tried to tell him. “It’s...so much.” 

Eric removed his fangs. “Do you need me to stop?” he asked.

I shook my head. I could breathe again, and I felt more normal when he wasn’t sinking his fangs into my flesh. He moved his mouth back to my inner thigh, working the skin there with the pull of his mouth. It was highly erotic, and I felt my need rising again. It felt like a timeless otherworldly rhythm that I just happened to get caught in. The push and pull of the ocean’s tide. The rise and fall of the sun and the moon. The cycle of nature of birth, life, death, and then the way that death feeds back to birth again. It was everything, and I felt myself become lost in the sensation, unaware of my own sense of self, just a being inhabiting a moment of pleasure.

As he massaged my skin and pulled more and more blood, he lifted my arousal higher and higher. I was going to come. I couldn’t help it - I was already so close! I barely felt the scrape of his fangs again before I was cresting, as my vision blacked out and filled with stars while I was suddenly overcome with...everything. I was weightless. I was part of the universe. I was one with the world around me. I was everything and nothing. 

When I finally returned to my body and regained my sense of self, I felt his breath right against my core. I looked down to see his mouth ringed with blood, his fangs still down, his eyes contracting and dilating, and his form tense. 

“Gods...you smell... So…” He put his face right next to me again, taking a long, deep inhale of my scent as if savoring some rare delicacy. 

"I’m sorry,” I apologized, and I felt the blush on my cheeks. 

“Never apologize for this, please,” he almost growled, voice hoarse and rough, and he seemed to have to force his fangs away as if it were uncomfortable to do so. He crawled up the bed and laid next to me, not touching me, wiping my blood off his face and licking his fingers slowly.  I looked over and saw that his slacks had a massive bulge, and I looked away. 

“Tell me about your first time having sex,” he demanded in his usual way. 

Did I really want to tell him about this? 

“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours first,” I said, in the hope that it would deter him. 

He closed his eyes for a moment before responding. “It was a very long time ago,” he said. “The times were much different.” 

“I know.” 

“Many women got married around the age of twelve or thirteen,” he stated. “I was...not married. I had a betrothal fall through, and I used the opportunity to put off marriage for as long as possible.” He laid still with his eyes closed. “I must have been fourteen or so. I had always been fascinated by women, and I was the prince, so I had my pick of them. I met with the bosom servant that fed the goats in the haystacks, and well, things kept progressing and...then I thrust twice, and it was all over.” He opened his eyes to see my grin. “I did get in much more practice after that, in both my human life and the thousand years that followed.” 

I thought about how much he must have seen to have lived a thousand years. That astounded and amazed me. A thousand years of history lying in bed next to me. 

“Now, tell me,” he demanded. 

I sigh and conceded. I realized that Eric Northman was used to getting what he wanted. 

“I was a freshman in college, and I had this instructor for my sculpting class,” I started. “I thought…” I shook my head. “I was so foolish. He was a grad student, and he was in his thirties, and I thought he was so worldly and sophisticated.  He was so flattering, and he told me that my sculpting was amazing. I believed him. He would talk with me after class, and I thought that … I don’t know. I thought he saw me. Anyway. The last week of the course, I slept with him, and it hurt.” I paused here, considering if I wanted to tell Eric how badly the instructor hurt me. I decided not to. “And I didn't feel good or meaningful in any way. And once the course ended, I never saw him again. He didn’t return my calls, and...that was that.” 

“So you haven’t had sex since?” he asked me.

I thought about the pain that I thought was normal. About how rough the instructor had been despite it being my first time, how I had continued to bleed the following day because he had torn me so badly. How often I called him and still thought that he cared about me, even after. 

“I guess I just… I never felt the… I don’t know. You’ll think it’s stupid.” I turned away from him. 

“I won’t, just tell me,” he said, pulling my shoulder back. 

“I guess I just feel like I need more. I need the universe to open to me and show me all its mystery and beauty...I want it all. I don’t want just an average everyday experience. I don’t want just to feel pleasure. I want to become part of that person, and for them to become part of me and for it to be a profound, beautiful, eternal moment.” 

I glanced over at him. I had a pensive look on my face while I waited for his response. 

A few seconds passed as the determined expression on Eric’s face faded, eyes staring into the emptiness of the room, and a look I couldn’t quite interpret replaced it.  “I think I’ve experienced that before. But it wasn’t during sex,” he told me softly, voice heavy with..something. 

“When was it?” 

He looked away. “A story for a different time,” he said, his shift in voice tone indicating that the matter was closed, at least for the moment. “The sun is going to rise, and you don’t want to get stuck down in here with me for the entire day.” 

He got off the bed and held his hand out to me and pulled me off the side. I felt the cool dampness of my panties press against me uncomfortably, and I was embarrassed at my strong reaction to his bite - again. I snagged my shoes, and we walked out into the basement hall and up the stairs. 

“Can I borrow one of your shirts to sleep in?” I asked as he put in the code to let me out. 

“Yes, this first door here is a bedroom that you can sleep in, and my t-shirts are in the second drawer of the dresser,” he explained, nodding to the door as he spoke. “Goodday, Jane,” he said rather formally as I walked over. 

“Goodday, Eric,” I replied in kind. 

He entered the code, and the door closed again. I went into the bedroom, opened the second drawer, and pulled out a simple black shirt. I peeled off my dress and took off my bra and my damp panties, and put them on the top of the dresser so they could dry. I pulled Eric’s shirt on, taking a quick sniff of the fabric. It had an herbal, almost spicy scent, and I couldn't help but take a couple more sniffs of the material as I crawled into the bed and got situated. The bed was very comfortable - not like the heaven of Eric’s bed downstairs, but still a million times better than the motel bed. 

I felt weak and tired, but I closed my eyes and tried to relax. After the day I had, I knew I needed to sleep. I drifted off to sleep, thinking of the expression on Eric’s face from before and what it could mean, and remembering kisses while floating among the stars. 

Chapter Text

Eric’s POV - Saturday, June 20th, 2009

When I woke from my day rest, I was immediately assaulted by the scent of Jane’s arousal still lingering in the air. Gods, it was mouthwatering, like a Huldra in the forest taunting me. Taking an unneeded deep breath in, I spent some time just laying in bed, letting Jane’s scent roll over me, enjoying it, savoring it. As I had gotten older, I woke up earlier and earlier, usually before the sun had even set. Eventually, I pulled myself away from Jane’s alluring scent, and I got out of bed and walked over to my phone. I flicked through my various notifications while I mulled over what I would need to do tonight - take care of the situation with the police chief, deal with the aftermath of the raid, and most importantly, punish Taryn for her blatant and flagrant breaking of the most essential rule at my establishment: no feeding on the premises. Not that Pam or I followed it, but it was my house, my rules. Then I would need to deal with Bill and try to find out more about his sassy, overly sweet human that seemed to have some sort of special abilities.

I was most concerned about the scent of Bill’s human. She smelled strongly of Bill’s blood, and I wondered if he had flooded her. It was one of the most manipulative ways a vampire could control another - through the excess feeding vampire blood. The blood would exacerbate feelings already there, but Bill could have taken her from simple curiosity to full-blown obsession with the amount of blood she had in her system.

The blood was addictive, as well. As long as a human didn’t have a propensity for substance abuse, most humans were fine with a couple of drops here or there, but the amount that this sweet Sookie Stackhouse had in her could have turned even the most pious of people into a blood fiend. I could not tell if he had created a blood bond with her yet, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he had, just from the sheer amount of his blood I smelled in her. Usually, it took about three blood exchanges to create the bond, less if the amounts were tremendous or the vampire was ancient. But her scent was unusual as well. Why did she smell so saccharine? Did she drink nothing but corn syrup? I found her scent sickeningly sweet but also strangely unique.

My mind lingered on these thoughts as I climbed the stairs and punched in the code to automatically release the door. I had forgotten that Jane had been sleeping in the bedroom where I kept my clothes, and I walked in without even thinking of knocking. She was stretched out on the bed, her head down, her perfect round ass facing up, and the way my shirt stretched over it enticingly told me she had nothing on underneath. Mmmm…

Taking a moment to pause and enjoy the view, I eventually announced my presence. “Good afternoon,” I purred, and she jumped up from the bed with a squeak, limbs flailing adorably. She hadn’t heard my approach, and I had evidently startled her.

“Jesus!” she exclaimed while scrambling up. “I didn’t even know you could be up right now,” she said, looking at the clock on the nightstand. It was half-past three in the afternoon.

“The older a vampire becomes, the earlier they rise from day rest,” I explained to her as I got clothes from my closet and dresser. A suit tonight, especially if I had to talk to the police chief.

“Oh,” she said, and she then yawned a cute kitten-like yawn. “I just woke up at three.”

“Did you sleep well?” I asked to be polite.

She paused, head tilting to the side in thought for a moment. “I had weird dreams.”

“Hmm…” I hummed in what I hoped was a somewhat acceptably interested tone. “I will be in the shower,” I told her, and I exited the room. As I went into the ensuite master bath, I entertained myself with the fantasy that she would decide to join me, her petite form covered in beads of water that rolled down her skin while wide eyes watched me hungrily. It was a nice dream, and I wished that it would come true soon rather than later. It was only a matter of time before she succumbed to my charms, though. With a small smirk, I exited the master bath, fully prepared for the evening, my suit looking sharp and my long hair neatly tied back.

Jane wasn’t in the room, and when I went out of the hallway, I found her just standing and admiring some of the objects and art I had displayed. She was staring at my drawing from Leonardo Da Vinci, a simple study of a bird he had purchased and then released. He hadn’t signed it, and at the time, I doubt he had considered it more than a doodle. He and Godric had gotten on famously, and I think that Godric still had all of the portraits Leo had done of him.

“Is this...what I think it is?” she asked after studying it for a long while.

Her eyes were analyzing every inch of the page, and I could see her struggling to reconcile what she was seeing with her knowledge. She was an artist and an art teacher.

“That depends on what you think it is,” I told her.

“Is this a lost sketch from Leonardo da Vinci?” she asked, her voice full of wonder.

“Lost? No, I’ve kept it safe from the moment he gave it to me five hundred years ago,” I told her simply and watched her mind take that in.

I had been expecting shock, awe, for her to demand that I tell her more. Instead, she sank to her knees on the floor in front of the framed sketch and sat perfectly still. As if praying at an altar. Her face was utterly blank. Calm. Then she looked at me, and I found myself subject to her intense blue-green stare.

“Why do you keep this here?” she asked me.

It hadn’t even crossed my mind not to. I suppose some people would think it rather selfish to keep his work to myself, but I had always just considered that it was a gift from a friend, and it made me remember him, and it brought me joy. That seemed to be a ridiculously sentimental reason to keep such a fine drawing from one of the best men that had ever lived. I hadn’t even realized that I had been depriving the world of his work.

“It hadn’t occurred to me to have it anywhere else,” I replied, a half-truth.

She nodded and looked away. “Can I shower?” she asked, changing the subject. It was odd, I had expected her to interrogate me about Leo, and I had several great stories already lined up to tell her, but she didn’t seem to want to ask me about him.

“Yes, the soap in the green container is the kind that will eliminate all scent from you. You need only but a drop of it,” I told Jane.

She nodded and went back through the bedroom. I went into my office and tried to shake off her strange behavior. It was unusual when people didn’t do what I expected them to. After a thousand years, I had become an expert on people. It wasn’t like them to surprise me. I sat at my desk and checked my emails and some of my investment statements. I tried to put Jane’s strange reaction out of my mind.

Jane’s head peeked in, her hair damp. “I’m going to look at the food in the kitchen,” she announced. She was wearing her dress from the night before, and from the smell, her sweet little cotton panties. They were far more intriguing to me than the thousands of pieces of lace that I had destroyed in the past several decades.

I nodded to her, and she left. I heard her banging around in the kitchen, and I decided that I wouldn’t get any work done, knowing that she was so close to the donor blood. I walked out and found her kneeling on the counter, too short to get anything out of it by standing on the floor. I stood behind her, worried she would fall. Humans were so breakable. I heard her stomach growl.

She sighed and got down.

“Is the food not acceptable?” I asked.

“It’s fine. I’m just picky,” she explained. “When will we leave?”

I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Not for a few hours,” I told Jane. Her stomach rumbled loudly again. “Why are you...picky?” I asked, using her word.

She shook her head. “You’ll think it’s silly.”

“Perhaps. Tell me anyway,” I demanded.

“I don’t eat anything that comes from animals. No meat, no eggs, no dairy,” she explained.

I nodded, now the fresh cleanness of her blood made sense to me. It wasn’t full of extra hormones or cholesterol. Of the lard and fat that clogged the veins of so many humans these days. That earthiness, that wildness...I still couldn’t place it. Her rose scent was almost familiar too. Where had I scented it before? It was delicious and unusual.

“Why?” I asked her.

“I guess because I know how much suffering comes from animals, and I just don’t want to put it in my body.”

Another bloody philosopher. She sounded like Godric, trying to justify not drinking human blood.

“So, you would rather go hungry than eat what’s in the cupboard?”

She nodded. “I’ll be fine. I don’t eat a lot.”

“It shows. You’re too thin,” I told her.

“Gee, thanks,” she replied sarcastically.

I heard her stomach rumble again, and I decided to break a rule. A safety rule, and that was something I did not do. I was not adequately prepared to have her here, and I would be remiss if I kept her here in discomfort. I mentally prepared a list of what she would need to have here. I would have my day man purchase all the necessary items for her.

“I will let you leave, but I must do the glamour first,” I told her.

She looked scared, more scared now than when I first bit her. It was unavoidable; the nest’s security and safety were not something that could be left in her unsecured open mind.

“I am going to give your mind infallible instructions on what you will do if anyone ever attempts to find out anything about our security here, or even the location,” I explained to her seriously.

She nodded solemnly. “Okay.”

“Make eye contact with me,” I told her, and I started to pull her in. Her aquamarine eyes glazed over, and I began the glamour.

“Jane.”

“Yes.”

“If anyone ever tries to find out anything about my home, you will tell them a believable lie. Then as soon as it is safe for you to do so, you will contact me immediately and report them to me.”

“Lie and report,” she responded, zombie-like.

“You will never willingly reveal the location. You will never willingly reveal any of the security measures you saw in place in my home or resting place.”

“Never,” she agreed.

I released the glamour, and she looked as if she would cry.

“Excuse me,” she said, and she stood abruptly and went to the bathroom, and I heard her sobs from inside. I listened to her wretch, vomiting as well. What had caused this? Her aching cries were plaintive, and I had no idea what to do. It was simply...bizarre.

Pam came out. “Did you break your new toy already?” she asked me with a raised eyebrow.

“She did not react well to the safety glamour,” I replied, sitting on the couch.

Pam frowned. “Why?” she asked. “None of my pets have ever minded the glamour. Did you hit her with it too hard?”

I shook my head. My glamour was perfect and precise, and I didn’t overwhelm her mind with mine - I just imposed my will on her as one would with any glamour.

Jane’s crying stopped, and I heard her sniffle and blow her nose. She came out with red-rimmed eyes.

“Can I leave now?” she asked, clearly not wanting to talk about it. But she wasn’t going to get away that easily.

“Explain your reaction to me, and then you may leave,” I tried.

“So, if I don’t explain, I can’t leave?” she asked, wiping a residual tear.

“I have never seen a human react this way to my glamour before. It is...concerning,” I stated.

She looked uncomfortably toward Pam, and I ordered Pam to leave in Swedish, and she did. Jane stood there, still not explaining. I realized I was going to have to start prodding her along if I ever wanted answers.

“Did it hurt?” I started. I hadn’t hurt anyone with glamour since I was a yearling.

“No. It wasn’t physically painful,” she said. “It was just...It was terrifying…” she said, and another tear slipped down her face. “I could feel myself being forced to agree, and I had no control, I had no self...I was just gone.”

Then I understood. Jane was utterly helpless and vulnerable. She didn’t quite realize just how much until only then.

“Can...can you tell me if I’ve been glamoured before?”

I nodded. “Most vampires can’t. It’s a skill that comes with age.”

“Will you check for me?” she asked, her voice raw, a bitter, desperate edge.

“Think back to the memory, the time that you feel you might have been glamoured, but keep your eyes open,” I told her, and I watched her remember. I saw no sign of the telltale haze, the shimmer of a memory distorted or removed.

“No, nothing,” I told her, and she sighed in relief.

“Check once more?” she asked. She thought again, and I saw a flicker, just a blip, but it was there.

“Yes, just a small one.”

She nodded. “I was thinking of when Bill told me that the house was his.”

She was clever. She was testing me.

“Jane,” I sighed uselessly. “You understand why the glamour is necessary?”

“I do. I get it. Really...I just hate the feeling of it like...mind rape,” she whispered, and I felt like I had been slapped.

Mind rape. I felt sick.

“I’m going to go now,” she said. “Can you tell me how or undo the code?”

I nodded, still processing. “I will undo this door, and you’ll have to do the gate yourself. The code for that gate is 13-48-02.”

She repeated it a couple of times so her mind would have it. Then I undid the door, and she slipped outside before any light could burn me significantly. The door snicked shut, and I slid down it, sitting on the floor, putting my head in my hands. She felt as if I had raped her mind. My glamour was so invasive that it was akin to rape.

Gods.

****

Jane’s POV- Saturday, June 20th, 2009

During the mile walk back to Fangtasia and my car, I had a lot of time to think. Was getting the house back really worth all of this? Getting bitten, and feeling the rolling uncontrollable arousal, and having my mind taken over and invaded? I realized that I spent a lot of time by myself in my own head. That I was acutely self-aware and that the insane taking over of my inner self was traumatic for me.

When Bill had done it, it had felt like a simple magic trick. Cluck like a chicken on the stage in Vegas. It hadn’t felt...real. When Eric was in my mind, it was as if he had replaced my entire self with nothing but him. I shuddered again. I still trusted Eric, which was probably crazy. I thought back to how he had checked to see if I had been glamoured. I was so relieved to find my memory of my silver-eyed stranger was perfectly untampered. I would have probably died of heartbreaking sadness if it had all been made up.

I finally got to my car, and I got in and started my drive back to the motel. I decided not to wallow in my feelings about the glamour. I understood why it had to happen, I agreed to it, and it was over now. Just another moment that had passed, and I wasn’t going to waste any more time feeling sorry for myself or getting upset about something I couldn’t change.

Once I let that go, I enjoyed my drive and appreciated the way the sunlight filtered through the trees, how the warm late afternoon breeze flowed over my skin through my open window, and I felt more like myself again. I went into my motel room and opened up my suitcase and changed my clothes from the ones I had been wearing last night. My stomach grumbled at me angrily, demanding that I put something in it.

I drove over to Merlotte’s, and it was packed, so I sat at the bar. I didn’t mind eating at the bar. Shaggy silver-fox Sam Merlotte was behind the bar. “What can I get you cheré?” he asked me with a hint of flirtation.

“Ummm...can I have a chef’s salad with no meat, no cheese, no eggs, and with whatever extra veggies the chef wants to throw on there? Oh! And the redheaded waitress owes me a free sweet tea,” I told him.

“She does, does she? Well alright, then.” He poured me the sweet tea and put my order on a ticket. “So you going to your ancestor’s talk tonight?”

“What talk?” I asked. “Why would anyone want to listen to him?”

Sam chuckled at that. “There’s a local club here, called the Descendants of the Glorious Dead, a civil war history club. Sookie’s Gran got him to agree to come to speak about his experience during the Civil War.”

“Huh,” I said, not sure how to respond. “Descendants of the Glorious Dead, knowing that I’m a descendant of Bill’s just puts a whole weird spin on the ‘glorious dead’ part of that.”

Sookie walked in from the back and seemed surprised to see me. She looked fine, although maybe a little grumpy about last night.

“Did ya get your free sweet tea?” the redheaded waitress asked me, coming up as well. I nodded as she started to make margaritas for one of her tables. Sookie started filling ketchup bottles next to me and accidentally spilled some across her hand. “That vampire Bill would get a rise out of that,” Redhead added saucily.

“You’ll have to ask him yourself,” Sookie replied, a little testy as she wiped off her hand.

“Vamp club, not all it was made out to be, huh?” the waitress asked as she added the finishing touches to a margarita. “A lot of freaks I hear and people from Arkansas.”

“It got raided by the cops last night,” I threw in.

“It was fine,” Sookie replied.

“So, what then? Did that vampire get all handsy with you?”

“Arlene. I can take care of myself.” God, Sookie had no idea what they were capable of. “And, no, I won’t be going out with him again.”

Arlene, the redheaded waitress, and Sam exchanged smiles. Clearly, they didn’t think much of Bill. Or maybe it was just vampires in general.

“Okay, that place was kind of freaky,” Sookie admitted, looking at me. “Didn’t you think so?”

I shrugged. “Well, now you know and have seen for yourself,” I said diplomatically.

“I said my piece yesterday,” Sam added, and I saw him looking at Sookie with adoration. It looked like he was holding a torch for her.

“I’m sorry it didn’t turn out like you hoped. But better it happens now than before you end up hurt or dead,” Arlene said, walking away with the margaritas, and I felt she had a point. Vampires were dangerous.

Sam slid over in front of Sookie. “I hope you’re not too flipped out to miss the Descendants of the Glorious Dead tonight.”

“No, I gotta go. Gran’s all in a tither about it,” Sookie replied.

“Good, ‘cause, uh, I was gonna ask if you wanna go with me.” Everyone sitting at the bar was watching their exchange with interest. “Maybe we’ll go grab a cup of coffee or somethin’ after.”

She stared at him for a moment. “Are you askin’ me out?”

“Yeah, I am.” Sam looked nervous. “That’s pretty much how I do it. Sometimes they even say yes.”

Sookie and Sam looked at all the eyes on them. “Everyone’s looking at us,” Sookie told him.

“I know, you better say yes,” he joked.

There was another long pause while she considered. “Shoot. Why not?”

“Good,” Sam said, real pleased. “Eyes back on your food, people.”

My stomach growled. Where was my salad?

Sookie walked down to give ketchup to a bald man at the end of the bar, and Sam retreated to the back. She went to get him a sweet tea refill, and the Arlene came out with my salad.

“Thank you, this looks great!” I exclaimed, seeing how loaded my salad was.

“I think Lafayette appreciated gettin’ to do somethin’ different,” she said. “Let me know if you need anything else.” She set my vinaigrette down and walked away.

I ate my large salad, just as delicious if not a little more artful than the one I ate yesterday. My favorite angry bartender came out from the back.

“Hey, Jane,” she greeted me with a look of apology.

“Hey, Angry,” I replied with a small smirk.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s Tara.”

“I’m sorry,” I told her, and she laughed. Then she noticed my healing neck bite. “So, you went through with it.”

“Yep,” I said between bites of salad.

“Did he get your house back?” She asked.

“Not yet.”

“Typical,” she scoffed. “Give ‘em your blood, and he don’t even follow through.”

“It’s not like that. There have been complications.”

Sookie came back out, handing a bald man his sweet tea, and I heard her angry tone but not her words.

“What’s that about?”

“You heard there was another murder?” I nodded. “That’s Andy Bellefleur, and he’s a dumbass detective that thinks Jason, Sookie’s brother, is the murderer. He ain’t, but he’s the top suspect.”

“Why do they think it’s him?”

“Well, probably ‘cause he’s a horndog. He slept with both the women that got murdered. But they also slept with vampires.” Her eyes lingered on my bite.

I knew she probably thought that I did too.

“Hmm..” I said, unsure of what to make of what she said, and I finished up the last few bites of my salad. I sipped my sweet tea. Tara went to make some drinks for folks, and I took the opportunity to leave my cash on the table. On my way out, I almost bumped directly into the man with a cajun accent, and I saw his eyes linger on my neck before I went around him.

“Hey cheré, yous just leavin’?” he asked, all friendly.

“Hi, nice to see you again,” I said to be polite.

“Yous comin’ to see the vampire talk tonight, no?” he asked.

“I don’t think so,” I replied. I was filled with a random mad rage, and then as suddenly as it came over me...it was gone.

He looked over his shoulder at someone calling for him. “René, you comin’?” They called.

“Bye,” I said quickly - I needed to get away from this man and my weird feelings.

I walked down the stairs and got into my car. I exhaled. That was odd. I decided to drive to the cemetery near my house. I wanted to check out the old tombstones and see what hidden things I could find there. That would be calming. I parked and wandered through. I found an excellent weepy willow tree that seemed to be in constant mourning as if placed in the cemetery for just that purpose.

Impulsively, I decided to climb it. I swung my legs up over the branches, and I was able to sit on a high branch. I watched the shadows of the headstones in the graveyard lengthen as day turned toward night. How lovely it was to watch the world change, to see time pass. I wondered how I would look as the years passed. Would I become as worn and weathered as these tombstones before me? Would I fade to dust and become one with the universe? I wondered if it was perverse, or morbid, to think about my own aging and death. I loved how time brought changes, and I didn’t limit my adoration to seasons or flowers. Maybe I thought about my hopes for aging because my parents died untimely deaths. Perhaps that was why I was so obsessed with my own. Oh, how I hoped I would age because the alternative was what they went through. It was a violent accident and a long, drawn-out illness, accompanied by an ever-creeping sense of dread and slowly increasing loss of control. I shivered and quickly yanked my mind away from the dark train of thought; the fading light prompted me to get down from my worldly perch.

I decided that I would get down and look at some of the designs and interesting epitaphs on the tombstones before it was too dark to see them. I wondered if I could get some paper and make rubbings of my favorite designs, if I could learn about the people below, just by touching their headstone.

As I was climbing down, a branch creaked threateningly. I stepped on it lightly, cautiously, but it was no use. As soon as I had put my full weight down - the branch snapped, the cracking sound scared a group of birds. I saw them fly away, the dark outlines of their bodies contrasting against the twilight blue sky beautifully as I went sprawling.

I landed on my right ankle, and it made an icky thudding sound. I tried not to cry, but it was painful. I felt hot tears on my cheeks, and the pain was radiating outward. Pain always teaches, and this time I learned to be more careful in trees. After I took a few breaths, I got myself up and slowly started to shift my weight to my left leg. When I tried to put any pressure on my other leg, it screamed at me painfully. It was possibly broken or just badly sprained. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to drive. I had seen a charming old white farmhouse on the other side of the graveyard, so I decided to limp on over to it and see if I could get some help. It took a ridiculously long time, and I felt like a hobbled snail as I crawled agonizingly toward the lovely farmhouse. The house needed some care, but I liked it immediately; it had a natural homey feel. When I finally reached the house, it was near dusk. I limped up to the front porch and knocked on the door.

A nicely dressed elderly lady, complete with pearls, answered. “Oh my goodness, you poor dear!” the lady exclaimed, gesturing me in.

“Thank you so much. It’s my right ankle, so I couldn’t drive anywhere,” I told her through clenched teeth.

“Well, you just come sit right here, and I’ll get you some ice,” she said, and she helped me to the sofa. “Now, how did you do that?” she asked me, coming back with a package of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel.

I blushed, embarrassed. “I fell out of a willow tree in the cemetery. I was just watching the sunset, and as I climbed down, a branch snapped.”

“That’s a rather adventurous pastime for a young lady your age,” she said with a smile, and I got the impression that she was someone who had some adventures of her own. She placed the package of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel around my ankle.

“I guess sometimes I just like to see things from a little different point of view,” I told her.

She gave me a genuine smile, and I felt a warmth in my heart. It was as if she understood exactly what I meant.

“Well, you’ve got yourself into a right pickle here. Do you want me to get someone to take you to the hospital?”

I sighed. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I had spent so much time in the hospital when my Dad was sick, and going back to hospitals always just…reminded me.

“Well, I can see that isn’t what you want to do. How about a lift home then?” she asked me kindly.

“Thank you. I’ve been staying out at the old motel off of the highway,” I explained to her.

She gave me a disgruntled look, and it was clear that she thought that was not a proper place for me to be staying. “Oh no, honey. You’re staying right here.”

“Oh, that’s okay. You’ve been so kind already…”

She gave me a firm motherly look. “I wasn’t asking. Now, what’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Jane Compton,” I told her, resigned to her hospitality.

“My stars! You must be the descendant of Mr. Compton!” she exclaimed. “He’s speaking at my club’s meetin’ tonight!”

I nodded. “Yes, I am. I heard about that.”

“Well, you probably know all about him, so you won’t be missin’ a thing not getting to go tonight.” She began to bustle about.

I decided not to burst her bubble. Then surprisingly, the front door opened, and in walked Sookie Stackhouse, the telepathic waitress and no big fan of mine.

“What is she doing here?” Sookie asked the kind elderly lady.

“She hurt her ankle in the cemetery.”

Sookie looked at me, and I wondered if she was reading my thoughts, so I showed her how I fell from the tree. She nodded at me, and it confirmed that she did, in fact, see what I showed her.

“Gran, Sam, and I are going to go to your meeting together tonight,” Sookie told her Gran.

Her grandmother looked surprised at this development. Then her eyes fell on the clock. “Oh, my heavens! Is that the time? Everlee will be here any minute to take me to the church. Now Jane dear, you just make yourself at home, and I’ll be back later tonight after the meeting,” she said to me, and I heard a car in the driveway.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” I told her.

“Of course.” She left after she gave Sookie a brief hug.

Sookie looked at me and then went up the stairs. I laid on the couch and tried not to think of the pain in my ankle. I closed my eyes. I was used to getting hurt through my shenanigans, mostly just scrapes, and bruises. So this latest injury really shouldn’t surprise me. I must have fallen asleep at some point because the sound of the front door being opened woke me up.

Sam and Sookie were dressed nicely, shy, and nervous with each other about their date. Sam didn’t see me, and Sookie didn’t say anything as they left. I lifted the melted peas off my ankle and saw that it had swollen up and turned purple. I couldn’t help but appreciate the color, and I knew that I would need to try to mix that exact shade of aubergine myself once I could get my paints set up. It was definitely broken. I guess I would have to ask someone to take me to the hospital tomorrow.

I shuffled down the hall, still unable to put any weight on it. I found a bathroom. In the medicine cabinet was a Tylenol bottle, so I took one, even though I rarely took any kind of medication. I went back out to the couch. I turned the TV on just to have some noise. I watched an old black and white movie, as it ended, Sookie’s grandmother came home.

“How you doin’ honey?” she asked as she came in.

“I’m pretty sure it's broken. I guess I will have to go to the hospital, but I can wait until morning,” I told her.

She looked at me. “Well, you sure are tough. Can you come into the kitchen? I’ll make you some tea.”

I limped into the kitchen and sat at the table with her. “How did the meeting go?” I asked her. I wasn’t truly very interested, but it seemed like the polite thing to do.

She rambled excitedly. Apparently, Bill wasn’t as boring to other people as he was to me. I sipped at the herbal tea she made me. She almost made me feel excited, but I was in too much pain to truly get invested in her story.

“You’re gonna stay in the guest room tonight,” she insisted. The aching throb of my ankle had me agreeing without a second thought. I was set up in a quaint guest room that was filled with sewing supplies.

I flopped on the bed and checked my cell phone, I still didn’t have any messages from Eric, and I wasn’t too surprised. He had a lot that he had to do tonight, I imagined with the raid and everything. I laid on the lovely homemade quilt, and I examined the perfect and even stitches for a while. I hoped that I could find one that was a little loose, or twisted in some way, but I didn’t. I rolled myself up in it and tried to force myself to relax. I turned the ringer up on my phone to wake me if I received a message from Eric, and I let myself fall asleep. My dreams were strange and tinged in red pain.

“You’re hurt,” my silver-eyed friend told me.

I looked at him, and he had blood tears on his face. I put my hand on his heart. “You’re hurt too.”

Screams. I bolted upright in the bed - I heard Sookie’s gran yelling, and a man’s voice too. I scrambled up out of bed and drug myself into the kitchen. Sookie’s Gran was lying on the floor, a gruesome pool of blood forming around her. I was stunned for a moment, trying to interpret what I saw - the spray of blood on the cabinets, the multiple stab wounds on her body, and the dark crimson liquid spreading across the linoleum floor. Once my brain fully comprehended what was before me, a scream bubbled up out of my throat, unbidden. Suddenly I was tackled from behind. My head hit the floor with a thud, and a belt went around my throat.

The belt tightened quickly, and I tried uselessly to pull at it with my hands. My airway constricted, and my throat’s hyoid bone felt as if it was bending under the pressure. My mind became a bit fuzzy and hazy as I tried to understand what was being said.

“Fang bangin’ slut. You want to die, don’t you?” a man's voice shouted from above me.

I was being killed because of my bite!? I flailed around, trying to break free. I wasn’t going to die this way! I had to age, and I had to see the passage of time. I had to hold my pencil in my old weathered hand just like I had told my students I would. I was able to get my arm out and grabbed the nearest thing I could find, which happened to be a knife that had fallen from a kitchen block during the struggle. I brought it swiftly back toward the unknown man’s thigh, and my vision started to fade. I heard him scream, and the belt was suddenly ripped from my neck, and I sucked in a painful breath.

“You fuckin’ bitch!” he screamed. Then I heard his thudding footsteps as he retreated. I laid there for a moment, dazed. I heard the sound of a car door. Someone else was coming.

I tried to move, but I couldn't. My body was still working on getting air back into my lungs, and my vision wasn’t starting to clear; if anything, it felt like it might tunnel. I was barely able to lift my head to see Sookie standing there. Her eyes were taking in her grandmother’s body and my near unconscious state.

I didn’t know what happened next, as I was overcome by shock and pain, my body decided to faint. I blinked and then was surrounded by darkness.

Chapter Text

Chap 6

Eric’s POV - Saturday, June 20th, 2009

I stared at my phone as if I could gain activity from it by pure force of will and thought. I had texted Jane three times, and she had still not responded. Impatience winning, I decided to call her. If she was still upset about the glamouring, that was fine, but I would always follow through on my end of our arrangement and make sure that she got her house back from Bill. I was surprised when it wasn’t Jane that answered her phone.

“Hello?” a woman's voice said.

“This is not Jane,” I replied after a brief pause.

“No, it’s Sookie Stackhouse,” the woman’s voice responded. Ah, the sugary human that Bill brought with him to the club. Now, why did she have my human’s phone?

“Where’s Jane?” I asked.

“She’s fine; she’s just wakin’ up,'' Sookie said. “She was...she was strangled.”

A flicker of rage ran through me before I quickly quashed it. She was strangled, like the other women that someone murdered, the women that had come to the bar.

“Where is she?” I asked, already moving towards the door and preparing to fly.

“My house. End of Hummingbird road in Bon Temps...” she said as I hung up before Sookie could finish her sentence. I rushed out of the club without even bothering to tell Pam, and I flew there as fast as I physically could. Wind resistance barely a caress on my skin, I resisted the urge to growl and let a scowl overtake my face. Gods, claiming a human was always more work than I remembered, trying to keep their delicate bodies from breaking. I reached my destination of Sookie’s home quickly, expanding my senses and taking a deep breath to scent the air before landing - the charming old white house smelled strongly of blood and fear. Walking towards the Stackhouse residence, I saw that Sookie, the Shifter that owned the local bar, and Bill Compton were standing on the porch.

Walking towards them, I asked immediately, “Where’s Jane?”.

“She’s inside. She was conscious long enough to give her statement to the Sheriff and to tell us that she didn’t want to go to the hospital, and then she was out again,” Sookie said.

“What happened?” I demanded, using my no-nonsense Sheriff voice.

“My Gran…” Sookie swallowed. “She was murdered.”

Reigning back the severity of my tone, “My condolences,” I offered her politely.

“The killer tried to get Jane too. But somehow, she stabbed him. He got away, though,” the Shifter said.

“I would like to see her.”

Sookie nodded before she walked into the house to fetch Jane rather than inviting me in. She must know about the invitation rule, and Bill looked rather pleased that Sookie didn’t invite me into her home. Making a mental note as to his behavior, and stared him down until the pleased look slowly drifted from his face - he was certainly up to something.

Satisfied that Bill’s momentary glee was quelled, I asked Bill and the Shifter “Did you recognize the scent of the assailant?”.

“There’s too much blood,” Bill explained. “It’s covering everything else up.”

Damn. Then we still didn’t know who was behind these attacks.

Moments later, Jane came out looking damaged. Her neck already had a purple bruise around it, and she was limping, her ankle swollen and dark—the degree to which I didn’t like this alarmed me. Humans got hurt easily. This, I knew. But actually seeing her…

“Hey Eric,” she said, her voice raw. “How are you?”

It was ridiculous, her asking after me when she looked like Hel warmed over.

As I slowly walked over to Jane, I asked, “Better than you are. I would like to take you with me tonight if you permit me?” and continued to catalog the damage to her person.

She looked back to the house, and then at Bill, and then finally back at me. “Okay,” she agreed with a nod that caused her to wince slightly. Her eyes left mine briefly to meet Sookie’s.

“Sookie...I’m so sorry,” she said, and she looked like she was taking on Sookie’s pain.

“I know,” Sookie replied softly. I swooped Jane into my arms, and she relaxed immediately. An unfamiliar feeling welled inside me as I flew her away, one that I quickly pushed aside for the moment.

Looking down at the ground below us curiously, “Can all vampires fly?” she eventually asked me.

“Can all humans sing?”

“Yes, but not always well,” she replied with a cheeky grin.

I couldn’t help the short laugh that escaped me at her comment. She truly was absolutely delightful!

Inclined to humor her question as we flew, I answered, “Some vampires have special gifts; they usually emerge with age.”

“Oh, that’s kinda neat,” she replied. Pausing a moment, she craned her head with another slight wince to look down again before asking, “Are we going back to your home?”

“Yes,” I told her. We were quite close, as Bon Temps was not far by flight.

After a few minutes of silence, she whispered a soft, “I’m sorry.” I tilted my chin down towards her, indicating I was listening. “About what I said before I left. I’m sensitive. I guess,” she murmured.

Jane still meant what she said before, so I didn’t know how to respond to her confession.

Pausing a moment as I mulled over my response, “I won’t ever glamour you unless absolutely necessary,” I eventually told her. “Tell me what happened tonight.”

She gave me a whispered explanation of how she hurt her ankle and went over to the house, not even knowing that it was where Sookie and her grandmother lived. She told me how the grandmother helped her and how she had accepted her offer to stay the night there because of her broken ankle. Then how she awoke to the sounds of a struggle and then was knocked to the ground and how the man had nearly strangled her with his belt and probably would have if she hadn’t stabbed him. She was tiny and fierce, and I was impressed by how she had defended herself. I was also worried she had more internal damage I couldn’t see, possibly a brain injury.

We finally arrived at the nest, but I didn't set her down - I didn’t think she could be trusted to stand under her own power. I easily shifted her around in my arms and entered the code to get into the house. She made no move to try to look to see what it was. I liked that she had no interest in learning the security protocols. It made me trust her more. When we entered, I could see Pam was sitting on the couch, watching reality TV.

“What the fuck happened to her?” Pam said after she looked over at my arrival and took in Jane’s state.

“Hi, Pam,” Jane whispered, her throat still raw. “I was strangled.”

Pam looked at me before breaking out into a grin, “Did you kill them?” she asked.

“Not yet,” I replied, barely breaking stride as I took Jane down the hall to the bed that she had slept in last night.

Setting her down gently onto the bed, I saw her wince and heard her soft exclamation of pain through gritted teeth. She was in immense pain, and it made me furious. She was under my protection, and she was hurt terribly - she could have been killed! I was not fulfilling my promise and duty to her. I claimed her as mine, drank her blood, but had yet to follow through with what I had promised her in return. It shamed me.

Noticing my frustration, she lightly grasped my hand. “Eric,” she said, “It’s okay. It will pass.” She read me too well. It was so odd. Most humans couldn't tell what I was feeling from my blank face. Her hand came and cupped my cheek, and it was strangely intimate.

My eyes roaming over her features, I decided then that I would heal her. “What do you know about vampire blood?” I started carefully.

She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. They said all kinds of wild stuff on the TV, and I don’t think it’s all true. I know that some people take it as a recreational drug, that it’s strong.” she murmured. “I think maybe it can heal people?” she guessed, a curious tilt to her voice.

My eyes narrowed ever so slightly as I watched her. “Why do you think it can heal?” I asked her, that was a closely guarded secret of the vampire community.

She looked away, gaze lowered, and a thoughtful look crossed her face. “The vampire, the one that I met, that bit me...he offered me his blood after, to heal the bite marks. I didn’t seem right, so I didn’t accept it.”

I made sure to control my surprised reaction to her answer, expression carefully blank. That was startling news, as most vampires would not offer their blood after just one meeting. She must have made quite an impression on this vampire, or he had been trying to make her his. I could understand why, but it was unusual for a human to refuse such an offer.

Taking a seat next to her on the bed, I gently took her hand in mine. “Vampire blood can heal. For those who are not injured and take it, it is like a highly addictive recreational drug. Vampires can also use it to influence humans. It will heighten the feeling that the human has for the vampire. It makes them have dreams of the vampire. The blood is sacred to vampires. Giving the blood to a human will allow a vampire to sense the human and where they are, and their emotions. The older the vampire, the more they will be able to feel from the human, although it peaks about my age,” I explained to her. “It is very...meaningful.”

She stared at me with her aquamarine eyes. I had no idea what she thought of all the information I just gave her. She was impossible to read, and I couldn’t decide whether I liked that about her or not yet.

Leaning forward slightly, I let the seriousness of my thoughts come across in my expression, “I have failed you. I offered you my protection and my services, and I have given you neither, yet I have reaped the benefit of you belonging to me,” I continued softly.

“It’s okay. You’ve been busy,” she excused.

“I would like to offer you my blood, just enough to heal you. You should know that I will be able to sense you and your emotions. It will also allow me to find you, which considering the circumstances of tonight’s incident, and that the killer escaped, I feel it would be prudent.”

I stilled, recognizing how vulnerable I felt at that moment. I was offering Jane a piece of myself, and I feared she would reject me.

“Eric...” she murmured, “I’m scared to take your blood. I don’t like feeling like I don’t have control. I would rather feel the pain than feel like I don’t have control of myself. That’s why I barely drink.”

I nodded. I had learned this about Jane - she needed control to feel safe.

“I will not give you enough that you will feel out of control. I am concerned that you have a concussion.”

“My head hurts,” she agreed. “This, sharing your blood...is a big deal, isn’t it?” she hesitantly asked, her eyes darting back and forth between mine as she tried to read my expression.

I nodded, “Yes. Other vampires will be able to smell my ancient thousand-year-old blood in you, and it will offer you additional protection and mark you as mine further.”

She thought about that. “I wish my head didn’t hurt so much so I could think about this better,” she said.

I couldn’t help the slight grin that slid across my face, “If you take my blood, then your head won’t hurt,” I said slyly, and she chuckled out a pained little laugh.

“Is there anything else I should know?” she asked.

“It may increase your senses for the first day, but that will fade. And…”

I considered not telling her about blood bonds, but I figured now was the time as I saw keeping her for quite a while.

“This will count as our first blood exchange, as I still have your blood in me,” I said. “It usually takes around three exchanges of blood for a blood bond to form.”

“What is that? A blood bond?” she asked.

“It is a tie between a human and a vampire. It allows them to sense each other's feelings and locations and feel deeply connected. It is not common, as most vampires do not like sharing their innermost feelings with a human, and it is another reason why the blood is sacred.”

“So, if you give me your blood tonight, you could only do it once more without having a bond form?”

I nodded.

“The bond, is it permanent?”

“It fades, but it always remains, even as the tiniest thread unless the human dies.” I swallowed uselessly, thinking of Sylvie. Her bond had remained, haunting and empty, for a few days even after her death.

Jane thought some more, and I could tell she took this very seriously. I liked that she thought about things deeply. I thought she was going to refuse the offer of my blood. I had never had a refusal before. I could see the cogs of her mind turning. She was unlike any human that I had ever met.

“Promise that you won’t give me too much?” she asked, and I was surprised that she was going to agree.

“I will not give you too much,” I promised her.

“I accept the offer of your blood,” she said softly, and I felt honored by her. She understood and respected this moment.

I bit my wrist gently, and I moved it to her mouth. She drank my blood, and I suppressed a moan I felt as my blood entered her. Gods, to feed her this way. My blood was winding through her, becoming part of her. Her pupils wide, like two dark coal’s shining out from her angelic face. What a contradiction she was, with that look on her face, both innocent and sinful. I removed my wrist from her mouth, and she licked my blood from her small pink lips. I swallowed hard. I could feel her pain dissipating, and I could feel her attraction to me. Her breath was coming out in little puffs, and her heart was thrumming.

I got the impulse to kiss her then. I wanted to feel the hot heat of her mouth against mine.

“Eric...” she said, stopping me, and then I felt it. Had I not been a thousand years old, I would not have been able to feel her so profoundly. There was a tendril of apprehension, of hesitation. She didn’t want me to kiss her. I moved away from her and the anxiety dissipated. I sighed. She confused me. On the surface, there was nothing special about her, a teacher in her twenties. Her blood type wasn’t rare, but it wasn’t uncommon; I had AB negative blood many times before. No, there was just something that I didn’t understand about her. She was an enigma wrapped in a pretty blonde riddle.

“I will let you rest now,” I told her, feeling her tiredness.

“It wasn’t what I expected,” she whispered. “I thought maybe it would be like drinking wine, or that one time I accidentally had a pot brownie.”

I laughed. “No?”

“It was...I could feel you inside of me,” she said, and her arousal rose. “It was very...I understand what you mean now. When you say, the blood is sacred.”

Most humans did equate blood with drugs or alcohol. Even Sylvie said I was better than their finest Merlot. I watched Jane then, trying to understand what she was telling me. I had made sure to follow through on the promise not to give her too much. Whatever she had felt, it wasn’t the intoxicating effects. For her to say it was sacred, what did that mean? She was trying to tell me that she was feeling connected? To me?

“Thank you,” she said simply.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, and I closed the door.

I went out to the living room. Pam was still there, and she looked at me curiously.

“Did you give the blood?” she asked.

“She had a concussion,” I replied.

Pam scoffed. I gave her a look of warning.

Just then, I got a call from Isabel. Godric’s second in command in Dallas. I went out on the patio away from my spoiled progeny to answer the phone.

“Isabel,” I said, answering.

“Eric. Have you spoken with Godric recently?” she asked.

“Not recently, no.” I started thinking about how I needed to tell him about Jane.

“I would recommend that you do. Ever since The Fellowship of the Sun’s Reverend was killed, things here have been...tense.”

Ah, that must mean Godric was on the warpath. I remembered those times when even the slightest provocation would set him off and how breathtakingly bloody they were.

“I see,” I responded. “I’ll call.”

“If you could move your visit up, I would recommend that as well,” she said, and I could tell that things were indeed bad.

“Very well. Thank you for calling,” I told her.

“Please, Eric. He’s spiraling.”

She hung up.

I called Godric then before something else came up.

“Eric,” Godric answered, and by his tone, I could tell he was already in deep introspection.

“Are you on your bench?” I asked him.

“Yes,” he replied. “Why have you called?”

He didn’t want to be interrupted.

“I’ve...well, I’ve claimed a human,” I told him.

Godric didn’t respond. There was muted silence, and it wasn’t the first time that I regretted that he had closed off his Maker’s bond from me. It was a natural, regular part of evolving as a vampire, and Godric had closed it when he had considered me raised, but occasionally I missed knowing his feelings. I could still feel it’s strong tether of his presence in my heart, but I could not follow it to him or feel anything from him anymore.

“Why?” he finally asked.

“She needed my help, and she has quite delicious blood. It’s a nice arrangement,” I told him.

“Take your duty to her seriously, Eric,” Godric warned me, reminding me very much of how he was when he was raising me.

“Of course,” I replied. “How are things?” I asked him, seeing if he’d spill anything about what Isabel said.

“Tense,” he replied. “I’ve had to turn Stan’s progeny over to the Magister, although it is all too obvious that he killed the Newlin family on Stan’s orders.”

For Stan to allow his progeny to take the fall for him showed his real lack of character.

“Have you punished Stan for this as well?” I asked him.

“I have revoked all of his hunting privileges. He holds on here by the mere thread of his understanding of the brutal ways of the vampires of Dallas,” Godric explained coolly. No hunting privileges in Dallas meant that ‘Stan the Slaughterer’ lived on Tru Blood and bags of donor blood, and he was essentially defanged.

“Why not just remove him from Dallas?” I asked.

“It would cause more problems than it would solve,” he replied.

Politics.

“I was thinking I may come early for our next visit.”

“Very well. You know where I’ll be.” I could tell he wanted to go back to his brooding. “Do not come smelling of your human,” he ordered. He couldn’t stand the smell of most of them. He said that much of their scents these days were so polluted with cigarettes, the overconsumption of processed foods and alcohol that they almost made him gag. His sense of smell had continued to strengthen with age. He could barely even let donors or claimed humans into the nest if he found their scent offensive.

“I won’t. I will talk to you soon,” I promised him.

“Yes. Goodnight, Eric,” Godric said as he hung up.

Dawn was approaching. I could feel Jane...she was aroused. I went in to see that Pam had gone to the ground, and I looked into the bedroom. Jane had changed into one of my shirts again, it was riding high on her thighs, and I could see her innocent cotton panties. She moaned in her sleep. I was about to leave, feeling as though I was invading her privacy when she said my name in a breathy demanding plea.

“Eric.”

It seemed like the blood had already worked its way into her system and was giving her a dream of me — an arousing one at that.

“Please..” she begged, and I could smell her aroused state. She must be dripping. “I need it.”

Gods. I had to know.

“What do you need?” I whispered, wondering if it would enter her dream

She moaned. “You, inside of me. Please.”

I abruptly stood up and walked away. I breathed out. I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

********

Jane’s POV - Saturday, June 20th & Sunday, June 21st, 2009

Eric was lying on the bed next to me, and I was sketching his nude form. I would trail my hands over him to make sure I was getting every dip and curve of his muscles just right.

“Have you drawn this yet?” he said, indicating his large erect cock.

“Not yet,” I said, looking at the drop of fluid on the end.

He smiled at me with his charming smile. I went to touch him to make sure I got the weight and feeling of his cock right. He hissed when I touched him, and I pulled away.

“No...it felt good,” he said, and I brought my hand back.

I moved my sketchbook away and pulled my body toward his. He dipped his head to my neck and pressed his teeth against the skin there, making me moan.

“Eric...” I pleaded with him. He moved his body over mine. “Please.”

He was positioned above me, clearly ready to enter my body. “I need it,” I told him.

“What do you need?” he asked me, his voice husky.

“You, inside of me. Please...” I begged.

He thrust inside of me, and it reminded me distinctly of his bite—the pleasurable piercing.

“Is this what you needed?” he asked me. “To become one with me?”

And I could feel him inside of me, and I could see something in his eyes, a depth and understanding there. I felt like he was inside me more than just bodily - that he was seeing me. I stared into his icy ocean eyes, a thousand years of living behind them.

“Why did you want me to be yours?” I asked him, his hand coming between us to rub me. I moaned again. It was so much.

“Because you are unique,” he said. “I saw that in you. You are not of this world.”

“I’m not special,” I tried to disagree, but his hand was working over me in a way that made me want to scream. “I’m not—”

“You are!” he roared at me. “You must learn to accept that you are different.”

I was teetering on the edge of bliss. He was holding me right at the precipice.

“Please, Eric,” I begged him, but he was looking too far into my soul. He saw me too deeply.

“You are special, and I can prove it to you,” he claimed, and then he pressed his fangs against the juncture of my neck, and I felt myself explode on him.

I woke up, blinking. Eric did say I would have dreams. I laid in bed, trying to analyze what it meant. I had intense sexual feelings for Eric, but I also wanted him to see me. I didn’t want to be just another notch in the thousand-year-old vampire’s bedpost.

Then there was the idea of being unique. I didn’t see myself as special, only in how all people are special, different, and unique from one another. ‘We were all snowflakes, floating down to earth. All created to be unique, each holding significant worth.’ I mulled I wasn’t unlike most people - I wanted to feel happy and safe, to experience camaraderie and connection. People were people, and I wasn’t any different. I rather disliked the idea that, for some reason, Dream Eric was trying to make me think that I was.

I got up to shower, and I used the green soap. I noticed a set of my rose-scented shampoo and conditioner in the bathroom. That was odd. I got out wrapped in a towel. I couldn’t stand to put my clothes from yesterday back on. They smelled too much like fear sweat, so I stole a pair of Eric’s boxers and folded them up around the band a few times until they wouldn’t slip off of me. Then I put a shirt of his on, tying it at the front, so it wasn’t too long. I went out, and I didn’t see Eric up yet, or Pam anywhere. I went to the kitchen to see a couple of apples in a bowl on the counter that hadn’t been there before. I snagged one and bit it. It was juicy and delicious. I felt a little ridiculous as the juice from it ran down my hands and face, but it didn’t see any napkins or paper towels, so I just ate it over the sink. I nibbled it down to the core and then washed my hands.

When I turned around, Eric was standing there watching me. He was shirtless and had just got up.

“You’re looking healed,” he replied, his eyes scanning me, and I felt like he was looking at me with more than my health in mind.

“I feel healed. These apples are delicious,” I said.

“They’re for you,” he said. “There is also other food for you in the cabinet now.”

Did he buy food for me? I opened the cabinet and moved to climb on the counter, but he had already lifted me up so I could look. My heart thumped hard, and I felt my nipples tighten, and I was sure that Eric would feel me, but I couldn’t help my body’s reaction to him. I looked in the cupboard, and there were now some yummy-looking canned organic vegetable soups and some cans of organic peaches and other fruit.

“Wow. Thanks,” I said. Eric lifted me down and set me, so I was sitting on the counter, and he stood between my knees.

“Have you felt the effects of blood?” Eric’s ocean eyes were boring into me.

I felt myself blush as I stared at him. “Yes,” I told him.

His hand moved high on my thigh, where his bite marks were, and he caressed them. I could hear myself breathing hard.

“May I drink from you again?” he asked, still stroking me.

I nodded. I wanted him to bite me.

He scooted up the leg of his boxers, and I wondered how much of me he could see. He bent his head and licked my skin there, and without waiting long, he punctured me with his fangs, and I was moaning. He moved my leg up so my foot was flat on the counter, and I felt his other hand pushed against my opposite thigh. I was extremely exposed and aroused.

“Ughhgah,” I heard myself say as he was pulling blood from me, making me ache. I wanted more. I wished I could touch myself. I felt myself connecting with him again, almost as if I was feeling my blood in him. I could tell how much he enjoyed drinking from me, the satisfaction he felt at the taste of my blood, the feel of my body beneath his hands. This was more than simple sustenance.

His fangs scraped against me, and I felt myself get even closer. “I can feel you,” he murmured against my thigh. “I can feel how close you are.”

“I...I ..” I tried to speak, but I couldn’t.

“Let me touch you,” his voice was hushed against my skin. He looked up at me, and I nodded. I couldn't help it. I was so worked up and so close. He had barely pressed his thumb against my clit through the leg of his boxers, and I was coming. I heard him groaning with me as he said something in a language I didn’t recognize. I slid limply off the counter, and he cradled me in his arms as he brought me to the couch. There he finished licking my thigh clean, and I let my heartbeat settle.

I felt disappointed in myself. I wasn’t this kind of person. I didn’t just let people touch me for the sheer pleasure of it. I wanted there to be more between my sexual partner and me other than mutual gratification. I didn’t want to get hurt again, physically or emotionally. My pain had taught me that lesson. I was sure that Eric wasn’t looking for more between him and a human. I understood that about him right away.

“You’re...disappointed?” he asked, confused.

“I’m just not like this,” I told him. “I’m not someone who does this. I want—"

“Connection,” he said, remembering what I had told him. “Do you not feel the connection between us?”

I sighed. I did. I just wasn’t sure how much of that was me just connecting to Eric, just like before, my first time. I didn’t want to repeat my mistakes.

“I don’t know,” I said cautiously.

He looked at me blankly. “It was not my intention to push you too far,” he said. “Feeling you through the bond...it took me to the edge as well. It was selfish of me.”

Did he? I looked down, there were dark splotches against his sleep pants, and I blushed hotly. Oh, God. I made him come through his blood residing inside me and our connection...he could feel me that intensely?

“You’re so embarrassed. You might as well be a virgin,” he said as he stroked my flushed cheek. “Your skin is so warm. I feel as if I could burn my hand on you.”

I didn’t know if that was a compliment or not. “I’m not a virgin,” I sighed. “I just. I want to learn from my mistakes,” I told him, and he nodded.

Pam came out and looked at us with a knowing smirk. “Smells amazing out here.”

“Pamela. Be polite,” Eric admonished her. I realized that she could probably smell what we did.

“Of course,” she said dryly. “I’m going to see my pet, and then I’ll meet you at the club. Bruce left a message for you saying to call and that it was important.”

“Very well. I will not be coming in tonight,” he explained to her. “Or tomorrow. I need to go to Dallas.”

“Longshadow and I will handle things then.” She looked at me with a lascivious smile.“Bye, Doll,” she said, and then she entered the code and was gone.

“You’re not going to the bar?” I asked.

“No. We’re going to get your house back,” he said as he stood to his full height, and I had to look away from him. He was too handsome for his own good. “I’m going to shower.” He gave me a much too charming smile and swaggered away. I sighed and flopped back down on the couch. I felt so aroused still! I wondered if that was an effect of the blood? I was going to ask him when he came back. I wished I could wash my clothes. I would ask about that too.

As my mind wandered, my hand slipped into the front of my stolen boxer shorts, and I was stroking myself before I even knew what I was doing. I was already so wet from my earlier release that it was easy, quick, and slick. I was...well, a bit of an expert at this. After my terrible first experience, I relied on myself for my own satisfaction for years now, and I knew just what I liked. I had worked myself over, and I came quickly, thinking of Eric’s large, talented hands, and in mere moments I was clenching around my fingers. Jesus! What was wrong with me? Was I masturbating on the couch at my vampire associate’s house? I was losing it.

Eric came out a few moments later, showered and dressed, and he came directly over to me and brought my hand straight to his face as he was scenting me deeply.

“Are you trying to kill me, woman?” he nearly barked at me, and I saw a wild look in his eye. “I could feel you. You made me come again. I nearly ripped down the shower curtain.”

I swallowed. I had forgotten that he would be able to feel me.

“Is this a side effect of the blood?” I felt the heat suffuse my face again. “I”m...not generally like this.”

He shook his head. “It only heightens what’s already there.”

I wanted to hide. “I thought maybe it was the blood…”

“No, your pent-up needs are clearly rising to the surface. I will only just request that you...check with me before you see these needs yourself. I do have important meetings, and it would not be great to repeat what happened in the shower just now during one. I would rather not close off the feelings from the blood,” he explained, and I couldn’t help but giggle, imagining the scenario he described.

“Okay,” I agreed.

He looked at my hand intensely, and he was still sniffing it, and he looked a little wild. “If you don’t go wash up, I’m going to lick your hand clean.” His low voice sent a frizzle of arousal down my spine, and it felt like a mixture of a threat and a promise. I got up and washed my hands in the kitchen using the harsh soap.

“Better?” I asked, holding out my hands after I dried them.

“I would not say better, but it appears that I won’t be licking your delicious release from your fingers today.” He grinned, and my insides clenched, and heartbeat thudded in my ears. I swallowed and tried to repress all these sexual feelings.

“Umm...do you think I could wash the clothes that I wore yesterday here before we leave?” I changed the subject.

“Yes. The laundry is this way,” he led me to a door off the side of the kitchen. “The housekeeper usually does the laundry on Mondays, but you’re welcome to wash and dry your clothes.” He showed me the washer and dryer. “This is the soap to add, and I have some that I’ve purchased for you to take with you as well,” he explained, gesturing to a small bag by the door.

“Okay. Let me go get my clothes...” I started, but in a flash, he was gone and already back with them. I put them in and just a small amount of the soap and started it.

“It shouldn’t take too long.” I listened as the basin filled with water. Eric was watching me, and then he turned away.

“I need to do some work. I will be in my office. Feel free to watch the television.” I nodded, and then in another flash, he was gone.

I went back to the living area and sat on the floor, and looked at all the art and objects he had displayed in the open space. I got a feeling as if each piece cataloged a period of time. A cameo brooch displayed on a small shelf reminded me of Pam for some reason. An ax mounted above the fireplace looked as if it belonged to a Viking. I could help but want to reach up and touch it. I ran my finger along the blade and was surprised to find that it was sharp enough still that it cut me.

As soon as I saw the blood well out of my finger, Eric was by my side.

“Can’t leave you alone for a second,” he chastised, and he brought my finger to his mouth. I tried not to moan at the feeling of his mouth against my skin.

“Mmm…” he rumbled as he released my finger. “Do not touch Feigr again,” he warned me.

“Feigr? The ax has a name!” I exclaimed. I looked back over at it.

“Yes,” he replied, absently examining my finger. I saw that his mouth had made it clot.

“I won’t touch it again.” I went to look at the other things he had out, and he went back to the office. I once again was drawn back to the Da Vinci, and I sat and stared at that bird until I thought that it might fly right off the page before me. It was magical.

Eric came out, and I went and moved my clothes to the dryer. He was on the phone. “Question all of them, Pam,” he was demanding. “Use your glamour. It’s too much money to go missing to be an accident.” His tone was sharp. Then he yelled a bunch of words in Swedish and hung up.

I didn’t say anything, but he told me anyway. “Sixty thousand dollars has gone missing from Fangtasia’s books.”

“Oh.” That was a lot of money to have missing. “Who would try to steal from you?” I asked. Anyone who had been around Eric would know that he would find them, catch them, and they would face his wrath.

“It is quite troubling...It must be an ignorant human,” he said. “No vampire would try such a stunt.”

Probably. All the vampires there were terrified of him.

“We will see what Pam finds out tonight,” he said, clearly trying to let it go. He went to the mantle and flicked a switch that lit the gas fireplace. He sat on the couch and stared into the flames. I went and sat in front of the fire. I loved watching the flames dance and crackle. After a while, I looked back and saw that Eric wasn’t watching the fire but that he was watching me instead. I looked at him, and his face was hard to read, but I saw something there, a protective gleam, a hint of appreciation, and just an intense inquisitive look that made me feel as if I was under a microscope.

I got up and found that my clothes were mostly dry. I put them on in the bedroom, and when I came out, Eric had a bag for me. He handed it to me and inside was a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a hairbrush.

I smiled. I went and brushed my teeth, and I came out, brushing my hair. Eric grabbed my hand and stopped me.

“You’re doing that wrong.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m brushing my hair wrong?”

He sat me on the floor in front of him as he sat on the couch, his long legs on either side of me. He started brushing my long hair at the ends and then worked gently up. It did feel much nicer, and my hair wasn’t making that horrible ripping sound. I closed my eyes and tried to remember if I had ever had my hair brushed before. My mind pulled up a hazy recollection of my mother, of her humming a soft melody and brushing my hair in the same way. The memory itself was watery and weak, but I could more strongly remember the feeling associated with it, and it was a feeling I could not name. It was warmth and peace, and I hadn’t felt it since.

I focused on the sensation of the moment, and Eric started brushing my scalp. It felt absolutely divine. He then began to braid my fine blonde locks back into a neat french braid. I looked over my shoulder and saw that he was lost deep in thought. He had me hold the end of the braid, and he got a hairband and tied it off.

“Thank you,” I told him over my shoulder.

He merely nodded.

“Shall we go get your house?” he asked. I nodded excitedly. He looked at my clothes. “Will you be warm enough?”

“Are we going to fly?” I asked.

“Yes, that would be quickest.”

I rubbed my bare arms. “I’ll be fine.”

He grabbed a sweater from his closet and put it on me, rolling up the sleeves. I felt like I was a child that was playing dress-up in their parent’s closet. He looked at me and shook his head. “Cute, like a china-doll.”

I had been told I looked cute a lot. I had a babyface and round eyes, and it wasn’t the first time someone had told me I looked like a doll. I tried not to feel disgruntled at being called cute by him.

“I can tell that you didn’t take that as a compliment.” We went toward the door. He grabbed my bag with my new green soap. “It was meant as one.”

“I know.” I shrugged. He put in the code and gestured me out the door. He pulled me into his arms, and we were flying again. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it was too tricky against the wind, so l closed them. The flight was much shorter than the drive.

“Where is this house exactly?” he asked as we got closer.

“It’s right across from where I was yesterday, just through the graveyard,” I told him.

“Alright.” He directed his flight path and held me a little tighter. I could help but feel aroused at the length of his body next to mine, and I wriggled slightly.

“No wiggling,” he admonished me lightly.

I smiled at him, and he grinned.

We reached the house, and he set me down.

“You’re kidding. This is the house you want?” He looked at it with disgust.

“It’s beautiful. It needs some work—” I started.

“Some work? Does it have working electricity? Plumbing?” he asked, and we stepped on the porch, which creaked threateningly under his weight.

“I know that it’s wired for electricity, but it’s not working right now. I think the plumbing is okay, though...I’m not sure,” I explained.

I looked at the door. Should I knock? I still had the skeleton key. I got the key out. I loved keys. I used to collect them. I thought that something about them was a little magical; how it had to fit just perfectly to make the lock open. I had spent a lot of time examining keys and learning what they went to locks, doors, safes. It was a silly pastime, and I had given it up when I had realized it was becoming an obsession, but I still loved the weight of the heavy skeleton key in my hand, as if I could unlock the magic of my house with just the twist of my wrist.

“He’s not here,” Eric told me, reading my expression.

“He’s not?”

“No, we’ll have to wait. Go ahead and open it.” He had a sense of anticipation about him as if this was a test of some sort.

I did, and he waited awkwardly on the threshold. “Eric come in and look at the banister,” I told him, and he entered. I showed him the house, and he looked less than impressed.

“You’ve gone through a lot to get this rather disappointing pile of bricks,” he said as he examined the peeling wallpaper.

I sighed. “You’re just not looking hard enough. You only see the surface. Look deeper. Look past at what is and look and see what could be,” I told him, and I saw him roll his eyes. I discussed the changes I wanted to make with him, how I would like to restore the hardwood floor, and the crown molding. He humored me, but I could tell that he was feeling impatient, perhaps worried.

“Do you want to call Pam?”

“I actually would.” He looked at me suspiciously.

“Go ahead. I’m sure you’re wondering how things are going,” I said as I plopped on the worn-out couch. He went out to the creaky porch, and I thought about what I was going to do. I would need to drive to Dallas and pack up my apartment! I was going to move in here. I would be fine without electricity for a bit, but I could get an electrician out and get an estimate. I had all three months of my summer pay all once. I just had to be careful of what teacher’s called the September squeeze when you didn’t get your first paycheck of the school year until the end of September.

It was pretty late, so I decided to close my eyes on the couch and nap a little. As I drifted off, I could feel myself start to fall into another dream.

Eric was burying his fangs into my thigh, and I was immediately aroused, my body singing at the sensation.

“You’re delicious,” he said. “Can I taste you here as well?” he asked, his hand stroking between my legs.

“Oh…” I moaned. “Umm..”

“Jane.” Eric was above shaking my shoulder, looking at me with dilated eyes. “You were dreaming.”

I blushed deeply. “Yes.”

“Of me?” he asked rakishly.

“Yes,” I told him, still embarrassed.

“Mmm…” He said, and he looked like he wanted to ask more.

“What time is it?” I stretched.

“Near dawn. That’s why I woke you. When Bill comes back tonight, I want you to rescind his invitation to the house.”

“What?” I was still too sleepy to understand what he meant.

“Tell him that you rescind his invitation,” he repeated.

“And he’ll be forced to leave?” I raised my eyebrow skeptically.

“He should. If he does not, I will come up with another way to get rid of him. He must have been invited in by the previous owner, but now that you are the owner, you should be able to uninvite him.”

Eric seemed confident that this would work, but I wasn’t so sure.

“What if he just glamours me?” I prompted, which was my biggest fear.

“Give him this letter.” Eric held out a folded piece of paper.

“What does it say?”

“It’s a threat against him if he glamours you. And I will know if he has.” Eric grinned in a promising way. Almost as if he hoped that he got to wreak some of his all-consuming justice down on Bill.

“Where will he go if he comes back close to dawn?” I didn’t want him in my house, but I also didn’t want to be responsible for his death.

“He can sleep in the ground. In the graveyard.” Eric gestured to the cemetery that was just across the way.

I nodded. I guess that made sense.

“I will be in Dallas tomorrow night. If you have problems, I will feel your fear. It is a little less than an hour flight, so try not to get into too much trouble.” His tone was joking, but there was an undercurrent of seriousness.

“Okay. What should I do if things go badly with Bill?”

“I will call you tomorrow and check-in. I will question you to find out how things went, but Bill won’t cross me.” I wished I had Eric’s confidence.

I nodded. I felt pretty apprehensive about Eric leaving me here to deal with Bill alone.

“You will be fine,” he insisted. He had to leave. It was too close to dawn. “Goodday, Jane,” he said, and then I was alone.

I walked through and touched the peeling wallpaper and ran my hand down the banister. It was hard to believe that it was truly mine. I stood for a moment in the empty entryway, wondering about life’s strangeness and the moments that led me to this moment. And I found myself being thankful for death.

Because it was a death that brought me this house, and strangely, it was a death that let me keep it.

Chapter Text

Chap 7

Jane’s POV - Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Surprisingly, Eric’s plan worked. I rescinded Bill’s invitation, gave him Eric’s letter, and he left - very disgruntled, needless to say. The next day, I made an appointment with an electrician who would come out the following day and look over my house. The house was so old that it needed a full inspection, and who knows how many repairs before it started to become safe to live in. I went over to the motel early in the morning to get my suitcase and check out the motel. On my way back to the house, I saw a large gathering of people in the graveyard. Making a mental note, I first took my things into the house before I went out to the cemetery. I saw that the people were leaving. I walked over when I thought that it looked like almost everyone was gone.

It was the funeral service for Sookie’s grandmother. Walking carefully between the graves, I made my way over to Sookie’s grandmother. The grave dirt was fresh and had an earthy smell, and a fresh bouquet of daisies was lying on the ground next to the grave, ready to be placed on it. I kneeled next to the tombstone and read her name- Adele Hale Stackhouse, only then realizing that I hadn’t known what it was. She had been kind to me when I needed help, and I felt a surge of guilt. I hadn’t been able to help her in return. I wondered for a moment why somebody had killed her; she was just a sweet old lady. Then I thought of the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about Bill and her open, adventurous spirit and decided that whoever this killer was, he must have hated that she was so welcoming to Bill, a vampire. For a moment, I felt woozy when I remember the scene I had discovered—the splatters of her blood on the cabinets and that crimson pool that surrounded her body. She had fought hard against her attacker... I hoped that I would always have that same kind of spirit and fight that she did. I stood there for a moment, feeling a connection to a woman that I had only met briefly, whose life had been snuffed out so callously.

Suddenly I heard a noise near me and lifted my head to look around, observing my surroundings quickly, still on edge from the murder attempt on me. I noticed a handsome young guy sitting in a black truck, leaning over to the glovebox and get something out of it. It looked like a little baggy filled with...pills?. The man acted like he would put whatever he grabbed from the baggy in his mouth before his face twisted into an expression of rage, and he randomly threw the baggy out the window. Suddenly he grabbed the steering wheel and swore a few times before getting out of his truck and started tromping around; I would assume to look for what he threw away.

Brow furrowing, I observed him with confusion and wondered what was wrong with him. I was about to go over and ask if he needed any help, but then Sookie and the bar owner, Sam Merlotte, I remembered, came up to me. They were lowering Sookie’s Grandmother into the ground. Staring at Sookie, I felt overwhelmed by waves of sorrow and loss, and I had to walk away. I also figured my thoughts were probably pretty intrusive for a telepath, and if I were her, I would just want to be alone.

“Thank you,” Sookie called to me over her shoulder, having must have heard my thoughts. I went to my car and bought some simple food from the little market on the way home. Some bananas and granola bars as I didn’t have a working fridge or stove yet.

After I had a quick snack, I went back to the graveyard. It was empty and peaceful now. I wandered around for a while, trailing my hands over rough and weathered headstones, looking at the engravings and the detailed artwork that adorned them. I wondered why folks thought that graveyards were creepy; I found them to be a gorgeous testament to those that had passed, a way to leave a final reminder, a message, and a place to go to remember that person.

I found a particularly riveting poem, engraved in a scrawling script against a smooth white marble headstone. Finding an empty spot nearby, I laid out in a patch of fresh green grass, dappled in soft sunlight, and sketched the unique headstone with the poem that I also copied down precisely.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

Feeling a lump in my throat and my eyes burn from unshed tears, I swallowed a few times as I overcome reading the poem. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I let the words flow over me again - I felt it deep in my bones. When you became part of everything, you could not die. I wondered for a moment about Adele. Was she part of everything? Was she in the sunlight that filtered through the trees? Was that what I was looking for? That eternalness? That connection to everything? I sat there sketching and lost track of time as eventually, the late afternoon turned to early evening, and my phone ringing disrupted my sketching. It was Eric calling.

“I assume by your strange mood that things did not go well,” he said when I answered.

“No, it went just as it was supposed to. I’m just hanging out in the cemetery sketching,” I explained to him. Staring out at the cemetery, I finally hummed out a soft “I’m fine.”

“You feel...Sad and happy,” he stated with a perplexed tone in his voice. It was clear to me that despite knowing my feelings, he still didn’t understand me. That didn’t surprise me. I had only ever felt the connection of someone truly understanding me once, and I wasn’t likely to meet anyone like my silver-eyed vampire ever again.

“I just found a poem on a tombstone that I like,” I tried to explain to him. I heard him sigh and mumble.

“Recount to me what happened with Bill last night,” he demanded in his typical imperious tone.

I told him exactly what happened, and he prodded me on it, and I realized he was checking for logical consistency. To make sure I hadn’t been glamoured. That was comforting.

Seemingly satisfied with my answers, he eventually rumbled out a “Very well, then. I will be leaving for Dallas at first dark.”

Just then, I had an idea. “You’re going to fly, aren’t you?” I asked.

I heard a pause on his end before he responded with a slightly curious, “Yes.”

“I need to go to Dallas too, to pack up my old apartment. Would you...I mean, if it’s not inconvenient, can I come with you?”

There was silence as he thought for a moment. “As long as I can shower at your residence.”

A strange request, but it wouldn’t be a problem. “That’s fine.”

“Be ready by dark,” he said and then hung up. I wondered again if vampires had something against goodbyes on the phone.

Standing up and slowly packing up my drawing supplies after lightly brushing myself off, I started walking back to my house. I took the longer winding path back up to my house, reluctant to leave the cemetery, the setting sun was casting shadows, and the empty graveyard felt like it was my own personal playground, filled with mystery and secrets, just waiting to be discovered. I stopped before my house and examined its old structure and darkened profile. I was mine though now...finally! My house! So fun to think about how it was now mine, truly mine! Running up the porch steps, I burst through the door in my excitement and kicked my shoes off at the door before I jogged upstairs to my bedroom and dressed in jeans and a hoodie so I wouldn’t get cold during the flight. I braided my hair back, not as lovely as Eric had done, but it would keep it from getting tangled.

Just fifteen or so minutes after dark, Eric landed in my yard looking casual in a black jacket and dark jeans, and a satchel slung over his shoulder. All he needed was a hat and whip, and he’d look like a vampire version of Indiana Jones.

“Ready?” he asked, perhaps a bit impatient. Was he still worried about the missing money? I nodded quickly and locked up the house behind me. I pressed the house's old skeleton key into my palm and then tucked it into my purse. It was the most precious key I had ever owned.

We walked out onto the grass, and he pulled me into his arms. “You smell delightful. Like sunshine,” he growled at me.

“Thank you. I guess. I was out in it for a while.”

He mumbled something in a language that didn’t sound like Swedish to me, and then we were in the air.

“You’re going to pack up your apartment?” he prompted me to explain further.

“I had been living in Dallas. I’m going to pack everything up and rent a one-way U-Haul and drive back tomorrow.” I looked up and observed him as I explained my plan.

“Ah.” He nodded.

“Why are you going to Dallas?”

“I have a friend in Dallas.”

“Ah,” I said in response the same way he said to me, he shook his head at me in an amused sort of way, but then he was back to worrying.

“Did Pam find out anything about who stole the money?” I asked.

“No. It’s most disturbing,” he replied, and he clenched his arms around me a little tighter.

I thought for a moment. “You know that woman that Bill brought with him to the club. Sookie Stackhouse?”

“Yes. The one who predicted the raid.”

“I’m pretty sure she can read minds. I wonder if she would help you read the thoughts of your employees and help you figure out who stole the money?” I suggested to him.

“You’re quite clever,” he told me, glancing down at me after he thought for a while.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” I said dryly.

He smirked down at me, a barely noticeable chuckle escaping him.

We were making good time; Eric’s speed was still amazing to me. We chatted occasionally, and as we got closer, I directed him to the alley next to my apartment. Once we had landed, we went up the three flights of stairs to my studio apartment. Turning around and gracing him with a smile, I invited him into the apartment cordially, now understanding the strange rule. My apartment was just as neat and tidy as when I left it, the walls covered in carefully arranged sketches, drawings, and paintings. I had pulled many of my ones from last year and hung them artfully in the entryway.

I hung my keys in the wall next to the remainder of my old key collection. I had several vintage keys that I couldn’t entirely give up. Eric was examining my work. I tried not to feel self-conscious, but my art was so personal. I started taping up cardboard boxes, the process going pretty quickly - I didn’t like owning a lot of items. I occasionally would collect something that spoke to me, but I didn’t have use for many things. My clothes, kitchen stuff, and some art supplies. My furniture. Did I even want to bring my old college furniture? It wouldn’t even go with the house. I decided I would just leave it on the curb. It really wasn’t even worth selling.

Now that I wasn’t bringing any furniture, it felt silly to rent a vehicle for just my boxes of clothes, art supplies, and kitchen things. Maybe I could go to the shipping store and get everything mailed to me? That would be a lot easier. If I worked hard, I could get it done by tonight.

“I understand you a little bit more now,” Eric said suddenly, breaking me out of my train of thoughts and almost startling me. I had been so lost in my head with my plans I had nearly forgotten he was there. “You like broken things.”

“No,” I replied automatically. “I just don’t think they’re broken.”

He stared at me for a long time, and I wondered what he was thinking. Then seeming to make some decision on me, his gaze drifted to the rest of the apartment, and he started to move around the apartment more, observing what else I had in it.

Stopping in front of the bathroom, “Can I use your shower?” he asked. I saw him take a bottle of scent erasing green soap from his bag, motioning slightly with his hand.

Nodding, I motioned to the bathroom door, “Sure, just in here, you have to jiggle the handle a little,” I told him.

“Thank you.” Walking into the bathroom, he had to stoop slightly at the door frame, the apartment obviously not built with towering Vikings in mind.

Eric occupied for the moment with his shower, I went back out into the living area to continue packing. I started by packing my watercolors and my brushes.

“Jane.” I heard Eric’s voice call. My brows raised in curiosity, I wandered back into the bathroom...only to see he was completely nude. I looked away quickly, only getting a glimpse of his pale flesh, and felt a blush rush across my cheeks.

“Eric!” I yelped, covering my eyes.

“I just need your help with the shower,” he said. “You have seen a naked man before, haven’t you?” Of course, I had seen nude men for a college drawing class, but this was entirely different circumstances. I uncovered my eyes and studiously avoided looking at him, and attempted to distract myself from looking at the expanse of his perfect statue-like body.

I jiggled the handle, and the shower started. I looked up at Eric’s face and noticed that he was extremely amused, his trademark smirk crawling across his face.

It was all rather ridiculous, wasn’t it?

“If that’s all…” I turned to go, but he gently grabbed me by the wrist and lightly tugged me back.

There was a moment of tension between us before he finally spoke, his thumb rubbing against my hand.

“If I asked you to join me, what would you say?” he asked, his low voice rumbling right through me. I felt arousal rush through me as my fingers started to tingle in anticipation of touching him. I was certain Eric could hear my heart thumping rapidly in my chest. Join him in the shower? I was torn between desire and panic, and my fear won out.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I took a deep breath before answering him, “Eric..please,” I said, wishing he hadn’t asked. “I...I’m not ready.”

He quickly released me, and I sped to the door. As I reached the doorframe, I heard his voice say.

“Not ready...yet.”

Pausing at either his confidence in himself or certainty in me, I grabbed the handle in a death grip, and I closed the door behind me firmly.

I released a breath of air. Whew. That man...I felt drawn to him like a magnet—a moth to a flame. I couldn’t believe I’d only known him for a few days. Honestly, though, I didn’t really know him. I knew some things, and I had a good feeling about him, but I didn’t know him. I felt so worked up. I felt like I was becoming addicted to something I hadn’t even had yet. Taking another deep breath, I tried to center myself and suppress my arousal, forcing my muscles to unclench and relax. After a moment, I let out a frustrated huff - it wasn’t working well. I wondered if Eric was feeling my emotions? Letting out a soft snort at what his reaction likely would be, I shook my head and walked back into the living room.

I got back to work on packing my art supplies, definitely not thinking about Eric and his naked body in my shower...

Hearing the bathroom door open, I could not prevent myself from watching him as he came out. A towel wrapped around his waist, he leaned down to grab his bag and rifle through it. My throat felt dry as I scanned the width of his shoulders and the ripples of his abs, the muscles flexing as he moved. His long hair was damp and dripping rivulets of water down his back, and I had the impulse to go and lick the water from his skin. Standing back up, he glanced backward and gave me a heated look before he returned to the bathroom, seeming to take his time on his walk back. When he eventually exited the bathroom, he was wearing fresh clothes, and I realized I could breathe again.

“I am leaving now,” he stated, his eyes raking over my face.

“Okay...are you planning on coming back before going back to Shreveport?” I asked, hoping that he would say yes.

I was getting in deeper, wasn’t I?

“I had planned to stop to pick up my bag.”

Nodding and motioning towards my growing pile of boxes, “I think I might just get rid of my furniture and ship my boxes,” I stated. He looked at my shabby furniture and nodded. “Could I fly back with you tonight?”

He smiled arrogantly, that damn smirk of his back in place. “Of course,” he purred before casually sauntering out.

Shaking my head at him, I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath.

Time to get to work.

*****

Eric’s POV - Monday, June 22nd, 2009

I appreciated the flight to Godric’s mountain benches - it allowed me to get the scent of Jane out of my nose and lungs, if not out of my blood. She was a puzzle. I could feel how badly she wanted me and how afraid of that she was. She had been hurt, and she didn’t trust easily. I wanted her. I wanted to devour her and pleasure her. I briefly wondered if I was starting to go a little mad with wanting her.

When I reached the benches, Godric was already there, but he didn’t look calm or peaceful. He looked pale and agitated. Restlessly pacing back and forth in front of the bench, his right hand was locked around his left wrist, which was never a good sign.

Godric turned towards me, his gaze locked onto mine. “Why did you come early?” he asked immediately. “Did Isabel send you?”

Nothing escaped him.

“She had mentioned that things had been particularly strained,” I told him as I sat on one of the benches, stretching my long legs out before me. Glancing around, I examined the woods around me briefly. I liked it, but not with the same reverence Godric seemed to bestow upon the place.

“Nora finally called me. The Authority is going hard on vampire against human violence. Stan’s progeny is going to meet the true death,” Godric explained. “Stan is going to act like his progeny’s punishment for defying the law of the Authority was my will.”

I nodded. Probably. It was no secret that Godric was against unnecessary violence, especially against those he deemed innocents. However, he was quite harsh against vampires and ruled Dallas with a firm hand. He was especially ruthless when exacting justice. I was a little less inclined to worry about what happened to humans. I believed in a more poetic sense of justice, a what goes around gets brought back around by me when I bite your throat out.

“Godric. You had to turn the culprit over to the Authority. Otherwise, you would have been harboring a fugitive,” I told him. “You took the only course you could.”

Godric looked at me with liquid silver eyes, a knowing expression on his face. I was, of course, telling him things that he was already aware of.

“I abhor the violence of our kind. We only take; we never give,” he said, staring down into the valley below us. I didn’t want to get into a philosophical debate with him. I could never win; it wasn’t worth even trying to go down that road with him. I changed the subject quickly.

“Speaking of giving, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I sighed and crossed my legs at the ankles while leaning back, a relaxed facade that I know Godric would see through, like always. I felt like I had to tell him about giving Jane my blood. “I...had to give my human my blood.”

He looked at me sharply, eyes narrowed and expression stern.

“You gave a human the sacred blood? Why?” he asked me and finally sat down. The giving of blood was not something that Godric would take lightly.

I looked away as my brows furrowed some as I thought of how best to explain Jane. “She was grievously injured. Strangled by a serial killer that’s targeting women that associate with vampires. The other woman that was there with my human was killed. My human only just made it out….I failed to protect her,” I admitted to him softly.

“Humans are inflicting violence on each other now, due to our association with them,” Godric said with a slight growl and shook his head. I frowned, mouth tightening - Godric was missing the point.

“Godric, I have claimed her. She is mine, and she nearly died. I have taken her under my protection, and then I failed her.” I looked into his face and told him my shame, “I dishonored her.”

Watching me closely for a moment, he looked away in deep thought. I could see him ruminating on that.

“How did she react to the blood? Was she eager?” he asked instead of questioning me about my taking my duties seriously. I was grateful that he didn’t feel the need to lecture me.

I shook my head. “I had to convince her. She had a concussion, and it took a lot of explaining. I did not think that she was going to accept my offer,” I told him.

“Hmm...” he said. “So few refuse the blood.” I saw his mouth turn up in the hint of a smile, and then he was back to neutral in a flash.

“I have never had to work so hard to get a human to take my blood, and she was injured. Not that I have offered it often,” I told him, adding the last statement quickly.

“I have only had one refusal my entire existence,” he said, and that hint of a smile came back.

“She...this human…” I shook my head. How could I even begin to explain Jane?

“I don’t know how you can stand their company,” he replied. “I see Isabel’s man. He’s addicted to her, blood and body, constantly clingy, always asking questions. It’s irritating. He can barely be in my presence without pissing himself with fear.”

A blank and distant expression settled on Godric’s face as he struggled to remember what it was like to be human. He spent so little time amongst them anymore he would forget to breathe and blink in their presence. It heightened their prey instincts, and his innate power made them uncomfortable. Any human that was familiar with vampires would be right to be frightened by him.

“My human,” I started to tell him, almost embarrassed to admit it. “She won’t have sex with me.”

His response was a belly laugh, and a deep one at that. I let a sheepish expression cross my face, though it was good to know that he still could laugh that way.

“Ah… Is she more of Pamela’s persuasion?” Godric asked after he finally settled down.

I shook my head. “No, she’s very attracted to me, but she was hurt in the past. She doesn’t trust me.”

Godric’s face went passive after that. “Perhaps she is right not to trust,” he replied. “You will get bored of her eventually.”

I shrugged. She was still such a riddle to me. It was hard to imagine ever getting bored of her. I found her fascinating.

“I find her very compelling, and her blood is delicious.”

“How did you come to claim her? You haven’t claimed a human in decades, and the last time it went very badly.” Godric needlessly reminded me while frowning slightly.

“She came to the bar. She needed help with a vampire that was living in her house. I agreed to help her if she agreed to let me feed from her and be mine,” I explained with a shrug.

“So, she has no interest in vampires in general?” he asked.

“Not particularly. She had been bitten before, but only once,” I told him.

Godric scoffed. “You believed that?”

I paused, rolling his question around in my mind. It hadn’t even occurred to me that she could be lying. She didn’t have any of the human markers of falsehood, no elevated heart rate or sweaty palms. I supposed she could be very skilled, but it seemed unlikely.

“She doesn’t want blood, she doesn’t want to have sex with me - she just wants this ridiculous decrepit old house and for me to keep the vampire that’s her ancestor from glamouring it away from her.”

He nodded. “She could cause major problems for the AVL if she came forward with her accusation.”

“I threatened to go to the AVL with his actions if he did try to glamour her. Her house is safe.”

“So now that she has what she wants, is she going to refuse to be yours?” he asked, always the master of game theory. “That would be the wisest course of action for her.”

“I doubt it. Firstly, because she is still frightened of being glamoured by her ancestor, and secondly, I made sure that when we agreed to the arrangement that it was for the duration of her stay with the house,” I told him with a calculated grin. Godric sighed and shook his head.

“You’re clever. I’ll give you that, but you should explain to her the true depth of what claiming her means,” he replied, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted her to know, at least not yet.

Scoffing, and leaned forward to direct a glare at the valley, “Not as clever as I’d like. Someone has stolen sixty thousand dollars from the bar,” I explained, trying not to let too much of my worry show. It wasn’t so much the money itself - it was the fact that someone thought they could steal from me and had the false courage to do so. “We’re still investigating, but we have no leads yet of who the culprit is.”

Godric made a tsk sound. He was very into wealth building and had diversified many of his investments. He had money in all kinds of tech companies and green energy and typically focused on the long game, although he had been giving a lot of his money away in the last year. At least, according to Isabel, who saw his books.

“We’ll find who it is,” I declared. And they would pay for their crime most severely; I would ensure that.

“Of that, I have no doubt,” Godric replied before glancing out over the valley and then looking down at his wrist to check his watch.

Quirking a brow, I watched him closely. “Are you waiting for someone? Is that why you come here?” I asked him. The thought had just occurred to me.

“No,” he said, maybe a little too quickly. “No one sane person would come up here at night.”

Humming an acknowledgment, I nodded but made a mental note. There was definitely something Godric wasn’t telling me.

Letting my gaze rove over him, I frowned. “When was your last feed?” I asked him, noticing the marble-like quality of his skin.

“I need very little blood,” he replied, as usual, and I felt a spark of irritation at his standard response.

Clenching my jaw, I sighed, “Why do you starve yourself?” I was scared of what his answer would be.

Ignoring my anger, Godric looked back over the valley. “I’ve tried.... I’ve lost the taste for it, I...can’t find anything I like anymore.”

“You’ve tried from the source?” I asked, to be certain.

“Isabel ordered me an AB neg donor last week,” he confirmed. “AB neg is...better, but…” He shook his head. “There’s nothing there. It’s an inauthentic experience. Like paying for sex.”

“You could go and hunt,” I told him. “Hunt for the willing,” I amended when he shot a hawk-like look at me. We used to have to hunt for survival, and no one was ever willing.

“It still feels like a transaction. I want…” He paused and shook his head. “I do not know what I want.”

“Try to explain. For me, Godric,” I asked him, and he looked over at me with a smile, love for us and our bond in his eyes.

“I have spent so much time taking. I want to give. I want an...offering. Without expectation, without guile, just for the moment together, an experience.”

I thought of Jane. When I drank from her, it felt like I was giving, giving her pleasure, giving her a piece of myself as she offered me her blood.

A slight smile crawling across my face, I hummed again. “I know exactly what you mean,” I told him.

He smiled a little at that; he didn’t believe me.

“I hope that you do, childe,” he replied. “I hope that you do.”

*******

Jane’s POV - Monday, June 22nd, 2009

I sighed as I collapsed on the floor of my empty spotless apartment. I had packed everything quickly and went to a twenty-four-hour shipping place and paid just as much money as it would have cost to rent a truck, but the boxes would be in Bon Temps in just a day. I had dragged my futon bed, my beat-up coffee table, and my rickety old desk down the three flights of stairs to the curb. Lastly, I had cleaned the whole place until it shined.

Forcing myself to get up, I got in the shower and started rinsing the sweat from my body. Letting out a relieved groan at the heat of the water, I stood under the hot spray and let it wash over my sore muscles.

Hearing the sound of a door, I tilted my head towards the bathroom door. “Jane,” Eric’s voice rang out.

“I’m in the shower. I’ll be out soon,” I shouted at him.

“Very well,” he replied before going silent.

I turned the water off, and I grabbed the tiny towel I had left out. I had no intention of taking it with me, so I figured I’d use it now. I wrapped it around me and stepped out of the shower. Pausing, I remembered I had left out extra clothes on the counter in the kitchen to wear back tonight because I didn't want to wear my grubby clothes from packing and cleaning. I would have to walk right by Eric to get them… Biting my lip I wavered back and forth between my options before I finally shook my head. Spine stiff and straight as a board, I walked out of the bathroom.

Eric was standing in the kitchen, looking at my sketches that I had put on the counter. I had set out a folder beforehand that I had planned on putting my sketches in; I didn’t trust them not to get wrinkled.

Looking up at me as I walked into the kitchen, his eyes trailed up my form before settling on my face for a moment, before looking back down at my sketches. “Why do you draw these things? These lost forgotten things?” he asked a confused tilt to his voice. I smiled, thinking of my silver-eyed vampire, my lost, not so forgotten friend. Frowning, he stared at me, a pensive look growing on his face, “I don’t know what that smile means...it makes me feel…” he trailed off.

“What?” I asked.

“Envious. Of what makes you smile that way,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Well, you don’t have to be. That’s why I keep sketching these things. I can’t find what I’m looking for. I’m trying to capture the feeling of a moment I had.”

He looked back at the drawings and shook his head. “I still don’t understand you.” His eyes flickered back over to my towel-clad form and trailed along my body a second time as I grabbed my clothes and went back to the bathroom. I hoped that I wasn’t giving him too much of an eyeful with my short towel...

I heard him muttering something that sounded like profanity or prayer as I walked away, and a wee-bit of amusement floated through me. Maybe my towel was a little too short in the back.

“You’re killing me,” he called out with a put upon groan.

“I thought you were already dead?” I shouted back, and I heard him laugh.

Throwing on my clothes quickly, I came out dressed, and I put the folder of drawings in my large teacher bag. Taking a second, I looked around - I was finally leaving and going to my house. I wanted to giggle at that last thought and resisted the urge to grin.

Eric’s voice nudged me out of my happy thoughts as he questioned, “Shall we?” Nodding an affirmative at him, Eric grabbed his satchel and gestured me out. As we exited the building, I left the keys in a little envelope and slid it under the building manager’s office door as he asked me to.

“You’re excited,” Eric stated, feeling my emotions through his blood in my system. “To be leaving?”

“For my next adventure,” I replied and smiled up at him. Everything in Bon Temps had been an adventure so far.

We walked back to the alley behind my apartment, an easy atmosphere between us. Suddenly he pulled me to him roughly, arms wrapping around me tightly. “You teased me with the towel tonight,” he rasped, his voice somewhere between a whisper and growl.

I gasped as my hands latched onto his shirt, unsure as to what else to do. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t planned on it,” I murmured.

“Mm…” He eyed me up and down like he wanted to devour me. “Your body is delectable.”

“Umm...thank you,” I said through the massive awkward lump arousal in my throat. Shooting me that confident Eric smirk of his, we slowly lifted into the air as he took off in flight.

“You’re welcome,” he rumbled back to me, and it went right to my core. I gripped him harder as he chuckled.

“Now who’s teasing who?” I asked. He didn’t say anything in response, but he did give me an all too charming smile. We flew in silence for a while. I started to relax and just enjoy the sensation of being held, and eventually yawned in his arms.

“You’re tired,” he commented. I wasn’t sure if he could tell through his blood in me or just from the fact that I couldn’t suppress a second yawn.

“Yeah, I did a lot of work to get my apartment all done in one night.”

“You could rest in my arms,” he offered.

“I might try it. I’m kind of getting used to this flight thing. You never seem like you even get remotely tired of holding me,” I said, and I closed my eyes.

“I hope I never will,” he replied, almost too softly for me to hear.

I snapped my eyes open to look at him to see if he meant what I thought he meant, but he wasn’t looking at me. Staring at him for a moment, I decided that I misunderstood that he couldn’t possibly have meant it in a loving, caring sort of way, rather than the literal way I had suggested. I closed my eyes again and tucked my head against Eric’s chest, and tried to nap.

I must have managed to drift as the next thing I was aware of was Eric calling my name. “Jane,” I heard Eric’s voice say, and I opened my eyes. We were at my house in Bon Temps, and Eric was staring expectantly down at me.

“Oh,” I said and shook my head a little to chase the sleepiness away as Eric was setting me down on my feet.

“I need to go. Dawn approaches,” he explained.

“Okay. Well, you know where to find me.”

“That I do.” He gave me another knee-weakening smile, and then he took to the sky.

****

Eric’s POV - Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

I was getting more involved with her than I wanted. Logically I realized that, but something about her drew me to her... I was going to try to take a step back—a little distance. I sighed and grabbed my phone, and texted Bill. I asked him to meet with me to arrange for his telepathic human to come and investigate my employees. Waiting a moment, I frowned when he didn’t get back to me quickly. Scoffing I pocketed my phone - I imagined he was still displeased about his displacement from his home. When I returned to the nest, Pam informed me that there had been no new information about the missing money. I went to my day rest with a plan to sit on the throne the following night and see if I could sense any extra fear or unusual behavior from any of my associates, vampires, or humans.

Instead, I woke to find myself sticky with the evidence of a wet dream. Jane. It was the only explanation. She was causing me to orgasm during my day rest. Growling in frustration at the thought, I went and cleaned up in the shower, trying not to think about what she could have been doing to cause my daytime orgasm. I fought thinking about the idea that she was touching herself, thinking of me. I tried to resist thinking of the fleshy round curve of her ass that I saw at the edge of her short towel. Or that brief glimpse of pink that I saw when I pressed my thumb to her and made her come—the heady scent of her wild arousal.

It was a battle that I was losing.

Dressed in black, I went to Fangtasia to open and start the usual parade of attention-seeking humans. Longshadow and I amused ourselves by allowing a tourist to take my photo, and then he proceeded to smash her phone. She didn’t want a picture - breathers just want a story, a memory. We certainly gave her that. Later in the evening, Pam pointed out AB negative Jason Stackhouse, the telepathic Sookie’s brother. According to Pam, Stackhouse had come to the bar to procure vampire blood and already had some in his system, so he was likely looking for his next fix. The vampire blood in his system didn’t have the scent of anyone she knew, but then she wasn’t always here when I had to greet newcomers to the region.

“Dumb and delicious,” I told Pam and she chuckled. Very few men caught my attention these days, but this Jason Stackhouse seemed...interesting.

He didn’t seem to be successful in his quest to attain more vampire blood, but he left with a woman. She had the blood of several vampires in her, a clear mark of a V addict. If they were not caught with it in their possession or taking it, I could do nothing. I did not know the scents of the vampires she smelled like, and there was no way to prove that they hadn’t all willingly given her the blood—disgusting little leech.

I got a flash of fear from my blood in Jane. She couldn’t stay out of trouble, could she? I called her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Malcolm, Diane, and Liam are here,” she whispered.

“Where?”

“At Merlotte’s Bar and Grill.” Her voice trembled slightly, and I could tell she was trying to not panic. The Shifter’s bar, at least they weren’t causing problems here.

“Did they threaten you?” I would love the opportunity to put that nest in their place.

“Not really. They’re more interested in Sookie. It’s getting ugly,” she explained. “Should I leave?”

“Just stay put.” No need to act like prey. “Stay on the line with me.”

“Okay. I was just getting dinner. Apparently, Sookie is having sex with Bill and announced it to the whole bar,” she whispered.

“Sounds classy,” I said dryly.

“Bill’s here!” she suddenly exclaimed. “They want Bill to go with them. I guess they used to be friends.”

“That should tell you all you need to know about what kind of vampire your ancestor is.”

“Yeah,” she sighed in agreement. “He’s going with them, but I think it’s to protect Sookie. They’re gone now.”

I felt her relief flood the blood.

“Call if they come back,” I ordered her.

“Okay. Thank you for checking on me,” she replied. “My food is here, and it looks yummy,” she added.

“I will let you feed then.”

She giggled adorably, and I realized that I didn’t want to hang up. She was worming her way into me.

“Goodnight,” she said.

“Goodnight, Jane.”

She hung up, and I felt bereft, and the silence was deafening.

Fuck.

I couldn’t think. I had planned to find out more about the missing money, but now all I could think about was Jane and how I wanted her. I wanted her blood. I wanted her body...Did I want more? I scoffed internally. I wasn’t about to be her boyfriend and play human with her. I looked out into the bar crowd, and I saw a young blonde eyeing me flirtatiously. She looked a little like Jane. Taller, more makeup, dressed less conservatively. I gestured to her, and she came to me, shaking like a leaf.

“What’s your name?” I asked her.

“Ashley. Ashley Martin,” she said breathlessly.

“Why did you come here tonight?”

“I just wanted to check it out. I like vampires,” she said, her tone flirtatious and posturing shifting to one I assumed she thought I found appealing and seductive.

“Hmm...why’s that?”

“They’re real sexy,” she said. “Like you.”

I resisted the urge to scoff and roll my eyes like I knew my childe would. This was no challenge at all, and frankly I was bored. She was about as interesting and deep as a puddle. At this point though, I didn’t care. I just had to get Jane out of my head.

“Were you hoping to have sex with a vampire, let them bite you?” I asked her.

She looked at me, surprised but elated. “Well, yeah. I mean. I read about it in Cosmo, and I knew I just had to try it.”

So fucking easy.

“Would you like to come with me?” I asked her.

She nodded, and I led her by the hand to the dungeon. I had her backed against the wall in no time, as she moaned in an irritating and contrived way in response. I put my hand over her mouth to stop her before I glamoured her to be quiet out of pure annoyance. I licked her neck, and I scraped my teeth against her causing her to moan in the most cliche pornstar manner.

Growing impatient, I asked, “Are you ready?”, letting go of her mouth long enough for her to respond.

“Oh hells yeah,” she replied, and I tried to find her enthusiasm less annoying. I bit her, and she winced. She didn’t look like she particularly enjoyed it, but I didn’t particularly care. Her blood was not terrible, but it wasn’t good. She wasn’t a smoker or a heavy drinker, but it just tasted kind of fatty? She wasn’t a large person, so it didn’t make sense. I stopped drinking from her, and she undid my belt buckle.

I wasn’t particularly hard, but as she moved her hands over me, I began to enjoy the sensation and let my mind focus on it. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I reached down to pull her panties to the side and thrusted into her in a single motion. I fucked her hard against the wall as she wailed like a banshee, her voice reaching a pitch that felt like my ears were being assaulted. Growing tired of the entire encounter, I decided to make her come quickly and send her on her way. I moved my thumb over her clit at vampire speed, and I felt her body clench and contract around me. It wasn’t enough to make me feel anywhere near close to climaxing myself, and I only felt more frustrated. She unwrapped her legs from around my waist, and I tucked myself away and let her rest for a moment before I kicked her out.

I wasn't a total dick.

“Wow! That was great,” she sighed. “Do you want my number?”

“I appreciate the offer, but that will not be necessary.”

She nodded as if expecting this response, and I found it pitiful.

“What kind of diet do you have?” I asked her curiously. I wondered if it would explain the taste of her blood.

“Oh, I’m on Atkins.” She smiled brightly.

“Atkins?” Another fad diet?

“Yeah, I eat a lot of avocados, salmon, bacon, coconut oil…” she explained.

I shook my head. “I can taste the fat in your blood,” I told her. She blanched.

“Oh. Well, thanks for telling me, I guess,” she said and climbed the stairs, awkwardly leaving.

I went back up to the throne and thought about my interaction with the woman. Had Jane ruined me? In just a few short days, I went from being able to feed from and fuck any woman I wanted, and now I just wanted Jane’s fresh, clean blood and her sweet curvy little body. I felt insane.

“Eric. Eric. Eric!” Realizing Pam had been saying my name over and over, I glared up at her.

“What?” I snapped at her.

“We closed twenty minutes ago. I was asking if you wanted to ride with me back to the nest? I brought the Audi.”

“I’ll fly,” I told her. I was surprised. I had been lost in thought for a while there.

“Fine,” Pam snapped and stormed off.

I stared at her blankly as she left. If I wasn’t careful, Pam would figure out that something was up with me, and I didn’t want to get into it with her about Jane and any potential feelings I may or may not have for her. I texted Bill again to see if he would respond, and then I flew back to the nest.

Pam had already gone to ground when I arrived, and I was feeling Jane through the blood. She was...aroused and hesitant. I went down to my bedroom, and I finally received a call from her.

“Hi...” she said awkwardly. Gods, I could almost feel the heat of her blush through the blood.

“Yes, Jane?” I asked, knowing what she was probably going to ask me.

“I was just wondering...that is to say...are you done with all of your meetings and business for the night?” she asked in the most roundabout way, obviously trying to be nonchalant about her line of questioning.

“I am. I’m actually in bed,” I told her. “Where are you?”

“I don’t have a bed yet, so I’m on the sofa. I was just...I wanted to see…” I felt her frustration rise.

“You wanted to tell me that you were going to bring yourself to orgasm?” I finished for her.

She was silent for a moment before she hesitantly whispered, “Yeah.”

“Go right ahead.”

“Okay. Umm….goodnight.” When did I start to think that her awkward behavior was adorable?

“Sweet dreams Jane,” I said to her smoothly, and I could tell through the blood that she caught the double meaning of my words. That I hoped my blood in her would bring her dreams of me.

She hung up. I felt her relax, and then I felt her arousal build, and I couldn’t help but stroke myself and think of her. Lying on her couch. Would she lay on her stomach or her back? Was she pumping her fingers inside of herself or grinding on her clit? Gods, I longed to know how to please her what she liked….Her arousal was rising faster and faster, and I thought about the curve of her ass and that small glimpse of her pink slit. I thought of all the things I wished to do with her, to her. Then I felt her coming, and I was coming with her. I felt her relaxation and her contentment through the blood.

I looked at the pink release of dead seed and blood that I had spilled over my hand, stunned for a moment - that was so much more satisfying than fucking and drinking from the woman in the dungeon. I knew right then I was already in way too deep. Well and truly fucked.

****

Chapter Text

Chap 8

Jane’s POV - Wednesday, June 24th & Thursday, June 25th, 2009

I woke late in the afternoon, feeling rested and pleased. My house was coming together quite nicely. The electrician got the lights and all the outlets working, and the plumbing was functional. There was an amazing bathtub upstairs, and I had big plans for a bubble bath later in the evening. My boxes had arrived, and I had unpacked the most pertinent ones and would work on unpacking my other boxes today.

After looking at my funds, I decided that I needed to get a summer job; fixing up the house was just too expensive. After chatting with the locals at Merlotte’s last night, I found out that the Bon Temps school district probably couldn’t afford to budget any money towards any arts and crafts classes and put all extracurricular money into football. That was a little disappointing, as I liked working with little kids. They weren’t burdened by the expectations of society as much. I decided I would check out Shreveport schools and community centers when I got a chance and see what they had.

My thoughts turned back to the drama from the previous night. Malcolm, Diane, and Liam scared the crap out of everyone, and I had spent the better part of the night with Arlene, trying to talk Terry down from his manic disappointment that he hadn’t been able to do more to stop the savage behavior of the trio vampires. The whole bar was extremely tense, even after Bill had left with them. A table of rednecks were all riled up, and I had seen that type of mob mentality before; it wasn’t pretty.

I meditated on the idea that it was simply nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. For every Malcolm, Diane, and Liam, there was a table full of hillbillies filled with rage and fueled by prejudice. I didn’t know if it was true, but I liked the idea that nature eventually brought balance to all things.

My afternoon was spent puttering around my house, making various lists of things I needed and what I wanted. I liked to make lists, and I found them calming. Plans helped me organize my thoughts on all the things I needed to purchase and would need to do to get my marvelous house liveable.

It was early evening when Sookie came over quite distraught, wondering if Bill had returned and spent his day rest here.

“Those rednecks burnt down the nest of those vampires that were at the bar last night, and there were four coffins,” she told me. Sookie nervously chewed on her bottom lip as she paced in front of me, eventually questioning, “What if one of them was Bill?” She seemed like she might cry if she didn’t find Bill soon.

“Well...I mean, I guess you won’t really know until tonight, so try not to worry until then,” I offered, but I wasn’t hopeful. I felt for her. How horrible it would be to have to wait, not knowing if he was dead or not.

But if it were true, then I wouldn’t have to worry about my ancestor anymore. I found myself strangely disappointed. If I didn’t have to worry about Bill, I didn’t need to be Eric’s anymore. I was surprised by how much I didn’t like that.

After Sookie left, I ate a fruit salad for lunch, unpacked more of my things, and generally got things done. When it was dark, I called Eric.

“You feel odd tonight,” he said when he answered.

“It seems that Malcolm, Diane, and Liam were killed. Their nest was found and burned to the ground by some rednecks, according to Sookie. Supposedly there were four coffins found, and Sookie thinks that it’s possible that Bill was in the fourth.”

“I see,” he replied after a moment. “Did she say anything about feeling a blood bond break?”

“No. She didn’t know for sure if it was him in there or not.”

“Then they didn’t have a blood bond. That surprises me,” he said thoughtfully.

“Did you want to feed from me tonight?” I asked, looking out at turbulence in the sky. It seemed like it would crack open and pour buckets at any moment.

“I do,” he replied quickly. “But I will come to you.”

Staring at the growing dark clouds, I frowned a bit before replying, “Are you sure? It looks like it’s going to rain.”

“I’ll drive,” he stated, and I heard the jingle of keys. “I’m leaving now.”

“Okay. See you soon.” We hung up, and I went up to my bedroom upstairs to continue unpacking while I waited for Eric to arrive. I loved the master bedroom, and my first big purchase was going to be a luxurious bed. Glancing at the time, I decided I would take a quick bath while I had the chance and quickly filled my huge tub up. I put a few drops of my rose essential oils in it and took a moment just to lean back and relax. Once I felt more centered, I grabbed a cloth and washed off with a drop of green soap. I then soaked for a bit more, just enjoying the sensation of the water. I knew that Eric would be here soon, so I got out of the tub, dried off, and put on my satin robe. I thought I would have time to change into pajamas, at least, but Eric was a speedy driver.

“Jane,” I heard him call from downstairs. Hurrying towards the step, I went and looked down at him over the edge of the railing. He was so handsome. His broad shoulders and long hair were damp from the rain - he reminded me of a gothic romantic hero, and I had a feeling that he wouldn’t like being described in such a manner.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly as I carefully inched my way down the stairs.

“Hello...” he drawled, eyeing me up and down in my robe.

“I thought I had more time. You drive fast.”

“I do,” he replied, still staring at me.

Tucking my hair behind my ear nervously, I motioned towards the living room and made my way into it as he followed close behind me. “I wish I knew how to build a fire. It’s the perfect weather for it,” I told him, gesturing to my brick fireplace.

He noticed the wood and paper and long matches nearby and quickly arranged them and had a small fire going in no time.

I walked over to the fireplace to warm my hands some before shooting him an amused smile. “That’s a good skill to have,” I said as I sat next to where he was kneeling in front of the fireplace.

“It used to be a necessity,” he told me. “Now, it’s merely a luxury.”

I nodded. “It’s funny how the opposite of that is also true. How some things we now see as necessities used to be luxuries. It’s hard for me to imagine that there was a time when people couldn’t just drive to the store and purchase whatever they would need.”

“Yes, the times are very different now. Even within the last few years, since the Great Revelation. Bottled blood changed everything...” He trailed off at the end of his sentence, and it was then I noticed he was staring at me. Following the direction of his gaze, I looked down and noticed that my robe had loosened and was gaping open slightly, the swell of my cleavage now visible. I quickly reached up to move to cover it.

“Please don’t,” he asked, his voice a raw whisper, and he reached over to still my hand. We sat in silence. I felt the pounding on my heart, and I saw him watching the curve of my neck. His eyes slid even lower, and the sexual tension between us was thicker than ever. I shifted away, unsure how and why I felt so mixed up.

“Your first time...you know why it hurt?” he asked, finally letting go of my hand and looking away from me and into the flames of the fire.

I knew that there were two reasons why it hurt. I had been prepared for the first reason going in, as the usual pain that came with one’s first time having sex was something that talked about in hushed whispers and giggling conversations between friends in college. The other reason I learned was...wrong. I hadn’t known for the longest time either. That his roughness was excessive and especially troubling considering how I had just turned eighteen and had almost no experience up until then, that the way he hurt me wasn’t okay, and I had been so young and naive that I had still called him after. That I still wanted him even though he hurt me so badly.

“Eric, I don’t really want to talk about it,” I said instead, looking away from him and absentmindedly playing with the edge of my robe.

“The first time doesn’t have to hurt, but often it does because men are fools,” he said, his tone firm and tinged with disdain.

“I know that,” I told him, and then I decided that I couldn’t hide it from him any longer. “But it was more than just it being my first time.”

Eric’s body tensed, and he looked at me sharply.

“What did he do?” he demanded, his gaze laser-focused on my face.

I looked away. I was ashamed of this. I had let it happen. “He was very rough with me. I think he liked that he hurt me.”

Eric's face was terrifying. He looked lethal.

“He raped you,” he said slowly.

“No, I consented,” I told him.

“Did you know that you were consenting to be hurt? That he was going to hurt you? You agreed to that?” he fired off the questions rapidly.

“No! I didn’t know anything about anything. I thought it was normal, and I thought that he loved me,” I told him pathetically. I was so stupid.

“If you didn’t know what you agreed to, then it wasn’t consensual, Jane,” he said softly, his eyes softening around the edges but his overall expression still promising violence to those who had hurt me in the past.

I shook my head. I didn’t want that to be true. I didn’t want my first time to be labeled with something so horrible.

“I wanted to have sex with him. I agreed. I never told him to stop.” I looked Eric in the eye. “I let him hurt me. I trusted him. I thought it was normal.”

Eric looked at me like he had finally determined something. I didn’t know what he had figured out, but the look of clarity in his eye was startling.

“Do you trust me, Jane?” he asked, his frozen ocean eyes pinning me in place.

I swallowed, taking a moment to think over my answer before responding.

“Yes,” I told him. “I wouldn’t let you in my house if I didn’t.”

“Are you afraid that I’m going to hurt you? Even though you trust me?” he asked then, and I gasped softly.

Oh, God! I was - I was terrified of it. I felt tears well in my eyes as he pulled me to his chest and let me cry on him. It was cathartic for me, and it was then that I realized I had a problem - I was haunted by that night, by my own stupidity. I was still holding on to that fear and that god awful pain--like I was being torn in two. That I still didn’t understand how I had become so mixed up about what had happened. Eric continued to hold me while I cried.

“I will never hurt you. You are safe,” he repeated to me. “You are safe, Jane. I will never let anyone hurt you.”

I cried harder. He stroked my hair, and I felt myself calm.

“I want to believe you,” I sniffled.

He nodded. “Take all the time you need,” he replied. “I will endeavor to be more patient.”

I laughed at his statement and wiped my eyes on my sleeve. Eric did not strike me as a patient person.

“Ugh. I’m sorry I cried all over your shirt.”

“Shall I take it off then?” he asked, joking flirtatiously, breaking the tension. He was effortlessly charming.

“You better stay clothed. This robe is so slippery I’m surprised I have flashed you yet.” I adjusted the front tighter.

“Mmm...I like this robe,” he murmured quietly and eyed the edge that had slipped before. I laughed. Eric made everything simple and easy.

We sat in comfortable silence, and Eric added more wood to the fire.

“If Bill is dead, then the terms of our association can change,” he stated firmly.

I felt my stomach drop.

“I would still protect you and help you with any problems you may have if you would continue to agree to be mine,” he offered.

I looked into the fire. I got a warm glowy feeling. I felt like I had just been asked to go steady with him, and I nearly laughed at the idea.

“I’d like that,” I said with a grin, happy I was finally able to tell him.

He smiled at me then, that charming grin that made me feel weak in the knees. “I’d like for us to meet more than two or three times a week. I would like us to meet whenever we’re both available to do so.” I looked into his eyes, glancing back and forth between them while trying to get a read on his intentions. He was sincere. “I would rather take smaller amounts of your blood closer to nightly, rather than two or three larger amounts. It will be more gentle on your smaller body,” he explained, but I felt like it was just an excuse.

“It’s easier for me in the summer, but I’m going to be applying to some jobs, probably in Shreveport. I’m going to need to spend a lot to get this place fixed up.”

He nodded and looked around skeptically. I could see he still didn’t get why I liked this house.

“We will work out what works best for us. Depending on our schedules,” he added.

“Would you like to feed from me tonight?” I asked.

The look he gave me I could only describe as predatory.

“Very much.”

Just then, I realized I was bare under my robe. If he fed from my thigh...it would be incredibly intimate.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his hand coming to cup my face.

“I’m bare under my robe.” I felt myself flush, cheeks feeling on fire as I ducked my head down anxiously.

“You don’t want me to see you,” he stated, voice slow and deeper than before. “I would very much like to see you,” he rumbled at me, his thumb idly rubbing against my cheek. Taking a few minutes to think, I rolled the idea of him seeing me around in my head. This was about trust. I needed to try, if I was ever going to shake the fear of what had happened.

Taking a deep breath, I murmured a soft, “Okay, but don’t touch.” I saw him swallow and nod. I trusted him, at least more than I trusted the last person I let get close.

I slowly laid down backwards on the rug in front of the fireplace and slid my robe off my legs. I could already feel the effect he had on me just being near me, the room feeling warmer - and not because of the fire.

He just stared at me for a few seconds, shifting to be closer to me. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, not touching me but leaning over me and sniffing my skin. “Bend your leg, please, love,” he said, and I did. “Can I touch you here, to hold back your leg?” he asked, indicating my thigh, and I immediately felt respected and somehow even more aroused.

“Yes,” I agreed, and his large hand moved my knee out. I felt myself already dripping, and my blush grow more pronounced.

Eric seemed almost to curse out strange words in an old-sounding language that I couldn’t understand, and I wasn’t sure what he meant.

“You are exquisite,” he groaned. “And your scent truly is mouthwatering.”

He moved his head and licked my thigh, and I moaned at the feeling.

“So beautiful,” Eric murmured into my skin, and I could feel his fangs were out. I felt a burst of wild enjoyment from his reactions to me and resisted the urge to arch towards him. I wanted him to bite me, to penetrate me with his fangs... He continued to tease me with them, and I realized it was because he could feel how much I liked it through the blood. Eric felt what I felt. Finally, when I hardly thought I could stand it anymore, he punctured my thigh. He had to hold my leg down because my hips started rolling on their own.

Lifting his head and retracting his fangs from me, “You’re so close, love,” he rumbled at me, and I knew it. He lowered his head to continue gently sipping at the bite and pulled a little blood from me but less than usual. I found myself wanting more, aching for more. Feeling tears of frustration growing in the corners of my eyes, I felt like crying. I was distantly surprised at the needy little whispers escaping me as I grabbed fistfuls of the rug under me. “What do you need?” Eric begged me.

I shook my head. I didn’t know. I wanted to touch myself, but I was too embarrassed, and I didn’t want him to touch me, as I was too scared, and it was all so much. The pleasure and the need. The embarrassment and the want.

“Please, with your fangs.” I was able to decide, and he bit me again, the sharpness was wonderful, and I couldn’t help but rub my clit right next to his face, and I was coming. Finally, teetering over the edge into oblivion and the sound he made when I came was a strangled moan. I saw that he was watching me move my hand in small circles with his pupils blown wide with fascination and lust.

Again I felt like I was one with the universe, floating amongst the stars. I was swimming with them, my body light as a feather.

I eventually opened my eyes and noticed as Eric gave me a relieved look. “You blacked out for a moment,” he said, brow furrowing slightly in concern.

“Oh,” I said, and I quickly removed my hand from between my legs to tuck it against me.

“You touch yourself so lightly,” he said with a mixture of joy and wonder. “I loved watching it.” Looking up at the ceiling, I tried not to be embarrassed, though I was sure my cheeks were probably permanently red by now. “I haven’t come in my pants so much since I was 12 years old,” he laughed lightly, standing and not at all ashamed by the dark splotches on his trousers. Nodding his head towards the bathroom, he grinned, “I’m going to clean up, and I’ll be right back.”

I nodded and covered myself with my robe as he sauntered off to clean up, seeming quite pleased. Shaking my head at his antics, I laid there on the rug, thinking. Things were progressing. He watched me touch myself, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Had I crossed a line? Maybe I had already crossed it when I found out how aroused I became from being bitten.

My mind wandered back to my night on the bench when my silver-eyed vampire made me come from a bite and his hand on my breast. I wondered what he would think of all this. Of me, touching myself while being bitten. I think he would like it. He had a sensual hedonism about him, his dark eyes, and the curve of his lips. Then I felt guilty for thinking about him after Eric had been so wonderful. What was wrong with me?

Eric came back from cleaning up and pulled me to him. He dropped a kiss on the top of my head and held me. It felt nice and caring, and I couldn’t resist returning the hold some.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about experiencing pleasure,” he told me, only knowing my feelings and incorrectly guessing the reason.

“I know,” I told him.

He looked at me with a strange intensity. “I’m not your boyfriend,” he said, and I laughed.

“I think I figured that out.”

“I find that I do want us to be exclusive with each other. I find myself only wanting you, and everything and everyone else pales in comparison,” he said this as if it was hard to get out. It was like he was admitting a great weakness.

I thought about what he was offering me, and it scared me. I didn’t want him to offer this and for me to find out that he was biting and having sex with other women. I trusted him to let him into my home, and I trusted him to bite me nicely and not hurt me. Did I trust him emotionally?

“I’m not sure,” I told him.

“Ah,” he replied very seriously. “There’s someone else. The man, the chef perhaps?” he asked, no emotions on his face, but I still knew that he was angry, teetering on furious.

“No! You weirdo! I guess I’m just not sure I can handle it if I find out that you’re not exclusive. I’m already attached to you,” I explained, and he calmed.

Releasing me to lean down towards the fireplace, he thought about what I said as he adjusted the logs on the fire.

“What would bother you more if you found I was fucking someone else or feeding from someone else?” he asked me, rather crudely.

“Sex,” I replied instinctively.

“Why?”

I knew the answer. “Because if you were feeding from someone else, it would just be because you needed the blood and since I’m already giving you blood if that wasn’t enough...I guess I would understand. I don’t know how much blood you need, but I could imagine that there could be a reason you need extra or some sort of vampire cultural custom. But I’m not ready to have sex with you yet, and if you were having sex with others, it would be my fault,” I ended, and I felt like I might cry again.

He stood back up and pulled me to him again, rubbing my back and shoulders.

“How about sexual exclusivity? You’re right. There are times when I may be required to feed, and I don’t want that to feel like a betrayal to you.”

“Why do you want this so badly?” I asked him. “Why can’t things just stay the way they are?”

He looked away, and I could tell I offended him.

“I will be exclusive to you,” I told him. “And you’re under no obligation to do the same.”

“Why don’t you want me to be exclusive to you?” he asked, and I heard the anger edge his voice.

“Because I’m already scared of my feelings for you, and I don’t know what they mean or how I can even process the idea that you’re somehow interested in me beyond my body and my blood,” I told him honestly. “I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why you would want to limit your options down to just… me.”

He shook his head. “You see everything in others, but you can’t see yourself. Gods, you remind me of someone I know. I can see I have more work to do before you agree to this,” he ended with a frustrated sigh and kneeled in front of me.

“May I kiss you?” he suddenly asked, shocking me. My eyes wide, I’m sure I had a dear in the headlights expression on my face.

“I didn’t think you would want to kiss me,” I said, and he laughed.

“Why not?”

“I guess it just seems a very human thing to do,” I replied and shrugged.

“It is. I would never kiss you in front of vampires. They would see it as weak, kissing a human. Having emotions is also considered weak,” he responded. “But that’s all bullshit.”

“Eric!”

“I would like to kiss you,” he added, “And I wouldn’t see it as a weakness.”

I thought about it, really thought about it. This could be good for me. Maybe I had built my whole Eric sexual fantasy in my head. Maybe his kiss would prove me wrong.

“Okay,” I agreed with a nod. Eric leaned closer, his face directly in front of mine, and I couldn’t help but stare at him - his beauty was overwhelming. As he got closer, I slowly closed my eyes for the kiss, and I felt his lips meet mine. My body ignited with so much arousal that Eric’s arms instinctively pulled me in closer, and suddenly he was kissing me harder. My mouth opened to him and his hands were in my hair, and it was as if he was devouring me whole. Eric’s passion was consuming. If I hoped that Eric’s kiss would put an end to my desire for him --I was very, very, very wrong.

When we broke the kiss, I took a deep breath, and I looked at him. He was gazing at me like I was a miracle and meal all rolled into one.

“That was...I need to go now,” he said, instantly standing using his vampire speed.

I thought that was a good idea.

“Thank you,” I told him softly. I hadn’t known that it would be like that. I felt like he had given me a gift, one that I didn’t know how to repay.

He shook his head as if exasperated by me. “Please don’t thank me,” he replied, and he kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight, Eric.”

“Goodnight, love,” he said, and he walked out into the night.

I sat down in front of the fire, and I got a text from Eric right away.

Bill’s alive. He’s fucking Sookie in the muddy graveyard.

I responded.

Gross. Also, don’t text and drive.

I sat in front of the fireplace and watched the fire burn down. I loved the beauty of it, and I tried to find the exact moment when I thought that the fire was out; it was a fine line. I felt like I was trying to catch something happening that you can’t really see. When is the fire out? How do people fall for each other?

Slowly...and then all at once.

I fell asleep in front of the fireplace, and I dreamed of Eric and my silver-eyed vampire.

“He’s loyal,” Silver-eyes said. “Handsome, protective, smart..what’s not to like?”

“I do like him,” I said. I turned to Eric. “I do like you.”

“Of course, love. But something is holding you back.” He trailed his hands over my shoulders.

“Is it me?” My mystery vampire asked. “Am I holding you back? Or is it your fear?”

I woke up cold on the floor, and the fire was completely out now. I tried to hold on to the message of my dream, but I couldn’t. It slipped through my fingers in the way the dreams do and just left me with a disconcerting feeling.

Getting up, I got ready for the day, the dream on the edges of my thoughts. My day was spent in my usual pursuits. I went to the bar, and Terry made me a salad, and he came out and chatted with me about possums for a bit and told me about his pet armadillo, Felix.

“I’ve never seen Terry talk to anyone so much. He must like you,” Arlene, the bottle redheaded waitress, told me teasingly. I thought it was apparent that Terry saw me as a friend and thought Arlene hung the moon.

“Terry’s very nice, but I think he has his eye on someone else,” I said.

“Well, that’s alright, honey. Plenty of fish in the sea. I’d know I’ve been married four times,” she jokingly said to me, and I forced myself to laugh politely at her comment.

Sookie then came into the restaurant and snarked at me about Bill having to stay at her place since I had ‘so rudely’ taken his house.

“Sookie, imagine if some old ancestor of yours popped up and wanted your house,” I tried to reason with her.

“You didn’t even know that house was yours. Bill has spent more time in it than you. He helped build the damn thing, and then you waltz in here like it’s yours,” she stated sassily.

“It is mine. My Great Uncle left it to me,” I told her. Making my voice as firm as I could, I stared her down and stated, “His closest living relative.”

Sookie eventually stormed away after a couple more angry verbal jabs, and I could see I was on her bad list now. Everyone else seemed to understand but not her.

“She’ll come around, and that vampire will get his own place. I hope,” Arlene said as she dropped off my check. “Are you good with kids?” she asked me out of nowhere.

“Yeah. I’m a teacher. I taught art at an elementary school,” I told her.

“Oh, wow! Really? My babysitter fell through, and I really need someone to watch my kids tonight. Coby and Lisa, they’re real sweet, well behaved, and I would pay you,” she begged.

“Sure,” I agreed. “How old are they? Do they like art? Painting?” I asked, thinking of how I would entertain them.

“Coby is seven, and Lisa is nine. Oh, and they love arts and crafts. They can be messy, though,” she warned me.

“That’s not a problem. What time?” I asked, paying for my food and leaving a tip.

“8:00 pm, okay?” she eagerly asked.

“That’s great,” I told her.

“Thank you so much. You’re a real lifesaver.”

I waved her off, and I went home. Puttering around the house, I made sure everything was all set up for the kids to come over. I texted Eric and explained to him that I was babysitting, and he couldn't come over. It was a little past five when I got a text back from him.

Why? I’m great with kids.

I rolled my eyes and replied.

I’m sure you are, but Arlene agreed to let me watch them, not you and me.

He replied immediately.

I need to have a chat with Bill tonight anyway. Let me know when the tiny humans are gone.

Tiny humans. He was so silly.

He’s staying with Sookie if that helps. I will let you know when they’re gone.

I got out some watercolors, the simple Crayola kind, not my nice ones. And then I dug and found some white crayons so they could do some resistance art. I wondered what I would feed them. I could probably order them a pizza. Kids were easy like that. I didn’t have much else they could do, so I hoped that I wouldn’t have to babysit for too long. I didn’t even have a TV. I supposed that I could tell them some stories? I had done that before when the power went out in my classroom and we didn’t have enough light to do any art.

I tidied up as best I could, but the house just needed more work to be ready for guests. At 8:00 pm, Arlene and her Cajun boyfriend René, and the two kids, arrived. I was still wary of René because he had always given me such a bizarre, contradictory vibe. Coby thankfully had a GameBoy with him, so I wasn’t as worried about keeping him entertained. Little Lisa smiled at me and looked like a little mini-version of her Mom.

“Hi, my students always called me Miss Compton, or you can call me Miss Jane,” I told them, getting on their level.

“You’re a teacher? Are you gonna make me do math?” Coby asked.

“Oh, no! I’m an art teacher. Do either of you like to paint?” I asked, and they both nodded excitedly.

“Thank you so much for agreeing to do this, now that Sookie’s got that vampire staying with her...I just feel safer knowin’ that they’re not with him,” Arlene said.

“Well, it will just be me here, and we’ll be fine,” I told her with a smile, and I saw René looking at my neck where my bite used to be.

“How did you get Vampire Bill to let you have dis house?” he said, looking around.

“It’s a bit complicated, but he can’t come in,” I reassured them of the children’s safety. “Have a great time, and here’s my number Arlene if you need to call for any reason.” I gave her my cell number, and she gave me hers in exchange.

“Thanks again, now you two listen to Miss Compton and be good,” she reminded the children in a firm tone as she and René left.

“So I don’t have a table yet, but we can just sit on the floor and paint. I was thinking later, if you get hungry, we can order a pizza?” I asked them, and they were enthusiastic and sweet.

I showed them the resistance art project, and they loved it. Coby drew a ton of zig-zag lines, and when he used the orange and red paint, it ended up looking like a fiery sunset, and he kept showing it to Lisa and was very proud. Lisa took her time and made intricate swirls and painted them delicately with greens, blues, and purples. She said that she was going to become a mermaid and that this was what her scales would look like. I had an enjoyable time painting with them.

Later I ordered them a pizza and had it delivered to the house, and they asked me a ton of questions while they ate.

“So why do you live in this creepy house, Miss Compton?” Coby asked, cheese stringing on his chin.

“My Great Uncle left me this house when he died, and I guess he was sick, so he didn’t take care of it. I’m going to work hard to make it nice again,” I explained to him.

“Miss Compton, isn’t this house too big to live in by yourself?” Lisa asked. “Why don’t you get a boyfriend, and he can ask you to marry him, and you can have kids, so your house isn’t so empty,” she suggested, and I laughed.

“I don’t know about that, Lisa. I think my students are all the kids I can handle,” I told her kindly.

Lisa nodded. “Well, why don’t you just have a boyfriend then, so you’re not all alone?”

I thought about that. Things were so simple for children, just have a boyfriend, so you’re not alone.

“I’ll think about that,” I told her with my teacher's smile. “Are you both done?” I asked. They nodded, both looking stuffed.

“Can I play my GameBoy?” Coby asked.

“Sure, wash your hands first, though,” I told him, and he went to the kitchen.

“What would you like to do, Lisa?” I asked her.

She shrugged. “Would you like me to tell you some stories?” I asked her, and she nodded eagerly.

I told her some old folktales, and Coby got distracted from his game and came and listened as well. They liked the stories and how the animals could talk and how the just thing always happened in the end. They started to nod off, and I told them soothing poems, and they both fell asleep on the couch.

I heard Arlene and Rene pull into the gravel drive, and I opened the door and explained that the kids fell asleep. Arlene showed me her engagement ring. René had proposed to her! I could tell she was over the moon ecstatic.

“Congratulations!” I whispered to her.

“I know I’ve done it four other times, but it never gets old!” she said outrageously.

“I’m so happy for you,” I told her, and it was true. Her joy was contagious.

“Let’s jus’ scoop them kids up and go,” René said, suggesting that they didn’t need to wake the children.

I showed them into the parlor, and the children looked precious and sweet, asleep on the couch. I got their artwork that had dried. Arlene was impressed by it.

“You really are a teacher, aren't you?” she said, looking at the pieces, and I tried not to laugh.

“I really am.”

Giving me a brief farewell nod, “Have a goodnight, cheré,” René said, as he carried Lisa in his arms.

“Thank you again,” Arlene called back to me, carrying a sleepy Coby out the door.

“No problem,” I told them, and I closed the door behind them.

I sat on the couch and thought about what Lisa had asked me about. Boyfriends, marriage, and children...

I just had never wanted that. I had never been one of those little girls that pictured their wedding, and while I loved working with my students, I couldn’t imagine having to come home to children. It would feel like I was still at work. I imagined my free time full of exploration and wonder, not crying babies and soggy diapers. I sometimes had the strange random daydream about having children, but I imagined that all women felt that way. It was probably just my biological clock ticking. I had given up on the idea of ever finding anyone that I would really want to be with anyway, a partner in life. I was content in my solitude. Lisa was worried about me being alone, but I wasn’t.

Remembering that I told Eric that I would text him when the children left, I got out my phone.

I’m done babysitting now.

As soon as I had pressed send the front door was opened, and Eric was strolling in.

“Were you just outside waiting?” I asked him, a little amused at his lack of patience.

“Yes,” he replied. “I saw them leave ten minutes ago.”

I shook my head. “Why were you just waiting around like a creeper?” I asked, and I gestured to him into the sitting room.

“I wanted to see you. I was already out here speaking with Bill. He is to present Sookie at Fangtasia tomorrow night to interview the human employees.” Then he hesitated slightly before continuing, “Pam and Longshadow believe that you should be interviewed as well.”

I paused. “They think that I could have stolen the money?”

“They think the timing is suspect,” he replied carefully. “I claim you, and then the money goes missing.”

I nodded slowly. I could understand that, I guess.

“Do you think that I stole the money?” I asked him, and he scoffed.

“No,” he replied. “I would like you to agree to this interview; otherwise, I fear that Pam and Longshadow will insist that you be glamoured.”

I gulped. “I’ll be interviewed,” I told him. “I really don’t want to be glamoured again, though, if it can be helped.”

Eric came over and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I will do everything in my power to avoid it.”

He walked away, and I could see him sniffing the house. “How was babysitting?” he asked.

“It was fine. They’re well-behaved kids. We did some art. I fed them some pizza. I told them some stories,” I explained.

He nodded. “I heard the stories. You’re very good with children,” he said, a strange tone in his voice.

“I can only handle so much time with them, but I like how they see the world. Simple. Straightforward.” I explained to him.

Wandering over to the fireplace, Eric made me a fire again. “You don’t wish for children of your own?” he asked lightly, and I felt like there was more to the question than just idle curiosity.

“No, not really. I understand how important it is, and I just never wanted that responsibility. Maybe I’m too selfish.”

“That’s what I used to say about being a Maker,” he told me. “Now I have Pam, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I nodded. That’s usually what parents said.

“I’ve never cared for the arbitrary milestones of people. I just want to live my life and experience joy and beauty and wonder,” I explained as I watched the flames of the fire.

He shook his head. “And you say you’re normal.”

“I am! Everyone wants a happy life,” I said indignantly.

“And marriage and children,” he replied. “You say you don’t want either.”

I shrugged. “There are plenty of people that don’t want marriage or children.”

“Yes, most women are not like you though.”

“I’m not going to argue with you about this,” I replied.

Shrugging, Eric let the line of conversation go and gracefully laid down in front of the fire. I swallowed at the sight of his long, lean body bathed in the glow of the firelight - the shadows that were cast on his pale skin, the strong line of his jaw, and the icy blueness of his eyes. I felt my need for him rise. I wanted him.

“I can feel you through the blood,” he said hoarsely. “How badly you want me.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He gestured for me to join him, and I laid on my side next to him. He put his arm around me, and I felt comforted and still ridiculously aroused. I tried to suppress my need as I wiggled and squirmed next to him.

“Your want is tortuous. I want to help you with your need, but I don’t know how,” he whispered to me and stroked the side of my face. “Touch yourself,” he asked desperately. “Let me watch you.”

I hesitated, but I wanted release so badly - I needed to feel it. I lifted my dress, and Eric’s eyes went directly to my cotton panties. I slid them off my legs, and he groaned. His gaze was fixated on me, and I couldn’t see any of the icy ocean blue of his eyes anymore, only the black of his pupil.

“So beautiful,” he murmured to me, “Show me how you touch yourself.”

I exhaled deeply and brought a shaky hand between my legs. I was already ridiculously slick and wet, I could hear it, and I was flooded with embarrassment.

“No, don’t be embarrassed. You’re amazing. The scent, the sound of your arousal, drives me wild. I want to lick you and suck your petals into my mouth,” Eric half purred, and half growled at me.

“Eric…” I said needily. I imagined him doing just that. I moved my hand gently over my clit, knowing that too much pressure would make me come too quickly.

“You touch yourself so lightly, so delicately. You must be so sensitive,” he murmured in my ear, edging my arousal higher.

“It feels like so much,” I told him. I moved my fingers inside, gently curling them, and Eric groaned whether, at the sight of it or the feeling that it gave him through the blood, I didn’t know.

“Fuck,” Eric exclaimed, and I saw him watching my hand. “Gods. You’re so close. Are you going to come, love?” he asked me, tracing his nose up the line of my throat and inching me closer to my peak.

I nodded frantically. I wanted to come. I was right on edge. I just couldn’t quite get there. I felt like I would cry. I couldn’t. This was just...it wasn’t right. I wasn’t there mentally. I doubted myself, what I was doing, why I was doing it. I wished things were simple.

“Oh...sweetheart,” Eric said. “You can. What do you need? Ask me, and I will give it to you,” he said sweetly, feeling my pained pleasure, my inability to come, the mental block I felt.

“I don’t know,” I moaned. I felt the hot tears in the corners of my eyes.

“You do. Just tell me,” he whispered.

“Bite me,” I demanded.

He leaned down and sank his teeth into my thigh, and I came wildly, insanely, screaming as I dripped onto the side of Eric’s face. I could hear Eric’s savage growl, and I assumed that I caught him as well. He backed himself away from me as if he was worried about his self-control. His fangs were down, and his eyes were crazed, and his hands were clenching and releasing.

I still was floating down from my amazing climax, trying to catch my breath. I felt like I finally understood something about myself. I needed the bite. Something happened to me that night on the mountain with my silver-eyed vampire, and I was finding it again in Eric’s bite, that sharpness, that moment, my body was convoluting them.

I felt a crippling sense of self-loathing then. I was using Eric. My search for that feeling, I was getting it from him. I felt myself start to cry then. Eric’s arms came around me, and I felt even sadder. He was so good to me, so kind, and I knew that he had some sort of feeling for me. Did I just want the bite? Was I using him to try to find some sort of moment that I had let slip away?

“Shh…” Eric said as he stroked my hair. “Talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” I told him.

“Why?” he asked, so obviously confused yet concerned as to my reaction. “Because you need the bite?”

I nodded against his chest.

“You don’t need to be sorry for that,” he replied easily, not knowing why my body craved it so much. “I like that you want the bite. It’s very arousing.”

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked him.

“Nothing,” he replied matter of factly. “There’s nothing wrong with your desire to be bitten. I desire to bite you, so that works out quite well.”

I tried to smile. “Eric, I think I’m like this because of my first encounter with a vampire. That he made me this way.”

Eric froze for a moment. “Was he your first sexual experience after your first time?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I said.

“Were you thinking about him when you touched yourself?” he asked next, his voice dangerously calm.

“No. I was thinking about you,” I told him honestly.

He breathed out a huge sigh. “I think it makes perfect sense, love. Your first positive sexual experience included a bite, and now your body wants that again. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I nodded—that made sense. I felt a bit better. Maybe I wasn’t such a terrible person after all.

“You didn’t drink from me,” I said, just noticing that he only bit me, but he didn’t feed.

Swallowing slowly, Eric explained, “I didn’t trust myself. I was worried that I would go too far. I wanted to taste more than your blood.” 

Oh. I looked at him, and he licked the side of his face, and I could tell that he was tasting my release that I dripped on him. He closed his eyes and said something in that ancient-sounding language he used so often around me.

“What did you say?” I asked him.

“I thanked my gods for you. For the gift that is you,” he told me and smirked, looking quite pleased with himself. I didn’t know what to make of that.

“How do you feel now?” he asked me.

“I thought you knew how I felt through the blood?” I said.

“I don’t understand what you’re feeling. You’re relieved, you’re relaxed, but you’re also...scared? Why are you afraid?”

I shook my head, hesitantly glancing up at him, “I don’t know.”

Eric sighed against me. “I have to go soon,” he said. “May I kiss you before I go?”

I nodded.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. I didn’t feel the overwhelming arousal like I had before. Instead, I felt a deep connection, a moment of pure togetherness. I was overcome with emotion for him. For this strange ancient man so insistent on trying to understand me and help me. I felt myself start to fall for him. It was simultaneously awesome and terrifying. So much to gain...so much to lose.

Eric broke our kiss, and he looked at me intently, and I could tell that he had felt my feelings for him. He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me with the strangest expression I had ever seen.

Then without a word, he turned and left.

Chapter Text

Chap 9

Eric’s POV Thursday, June 25th & Friday, June 26th, 2009

What the fuck? Was she falling in love with me? It was an intense feeling that I hadn’t expected from her. Human love was usually so weak and fleeting. I drove down the road ridiculously fast. I couldn’t stop feeling her from the drops of my blood still in her veins. She was sad about the way that I had left. She was also resigned as if she had expected this. That perhaps was the worst feeling, living up to the expectation that I would disappoint her. When I got to the nest, I was thankful that Pam had already gone to ground because I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to fool her tonight. I went down to my bedroom, and I stayed up and got the bleeds trying to reason about what I was feeling and what I wanted.

May the Gods damn her! Why did she have to have such strong feelings for me? Why couldn’t she have been simple and plain like most humans?

I did have feelings for her. I would admit that much if only to myself. I didn’t know the exact extent of what they were, but ...I cared for her. I wanted to protect her and keep her safe. I wanted to understand her mind, and I wanted to pleasure her and make her come from my bite. But could I love her?

No.

At least, not in the way that she would want.

I didn’t know if I was capable of it. Of truly loving a human. Of investing in something doomed to die and turn to dust in just a few short decades. Humans, their lives were so quick, and their bodies so breakable. No, not worth it. I needed to back away from her. I would talk to her tonight after the interview. Explain what I could. I would even release her from her side of our agreement. I would no longer become invested in her. That was the wisest course of action.

When I woke from my day rest, I had a message from Jane.

When should I come to Fangtasia to be interviewed?

That was the extent of her message. I wondered if I would have to explain anything to her at all as she seemed to understand already. I would still try to talk to her, though, if only to alleviate any concerns she had.

I told her to arrive by nine so she wouldn’t have to wait around for all of the earlier interviews. Pam looked at me strangely as I heated up an O positive donor blood.

“What?” I asked her.

“You’re drinking donor blood?” she asked in her dry way.

“Yes,” I told her as the microwave dinged, and I grabbed the blood bag from inside.

“What is wrong with you?” she said after a moment’s pause, her eyes narrowing on me and staring.

“Nothing,” I told her as I forced the O positive down. It was fine. Blood was blood. At least it wasn’t Tru Blood. The taste of that was vile and metallic. And of course the States wouldn’t approve any of the more palatable bottled bloods, but only because those often contained a percentage of actual human blood. No, bagged donor blood was just scentless and mildly disappointing. Unsatisfying in the same way that all bottled and bagged types of blood were, nothing could replace the feeling of a warm body beneath one's fangs.

“Sure, and I have what people call a sunny disposition,” Pam snarked. “Is your little AB baby okay?” she asked.

“She’s fine. She’ll be at the club by nine for her interview,” I told my Progeny as neutrally as I could.

“Fine,” Pam replied. “Don’t tell me.” She stormed away, obviously in one of her moods.

I dressed casually in my blank tank and black slacks. I was not looking forward to this process, but only the results. I hoped that the cavity-inducing Sookie Stackhouse would use her abilities to find out who was behind the relatively large loss of funds. I smirked slightly at the thought of what I would do to the culprit.

At first dark, we went to the club. I drove Pam over in my precious Corvette, my favorite of all my many vehicles. She appreciated it, and I thought that perhaps I had been neglecting her a little bit. Longshadow was there, and I could see that he already had his mind made up that it was Bruce, our accountant. I doubted it very much as he was the one that brought the error to our attention.

Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse arrived, she looked like she was dressed for a date, and I wondered how much control Bill had over her. I explained the situation to her, and she was mouthy and disrespectful. Perhaps Bill liked to keep her feisty, even if it was risky to do so. He was shaming himself by allowing her to speak that way to other vampires. It made him look weak like he couldn’t control her even with the large amount of his blood he had fed her. I was surprised he hadn’t glamoured her to mind her mouth. It was all very...Interesting.

“If I find out who did it, then what?” she asked. I stared at her. Was she serious?

“We’ll turn that person over to the police and let the authorities handle it from there,” Longshadow stated. As if the police would do anything for us.

Sookie laughed. “Hundreds of years old, and you’re still a terrible liar. Come on!” she said. She wasn’t as naive as I initially thought. She turned to me. “I’ll make you a deal if you promise to hand over the person who did this to the police. I’ll agree to help you any time you want.”

I thought for a moment. It could be handy to have a willing telepath on retainer rather than a reluctant one. And I could always claim that I handed the guilty party over to the police even if they did end up in the holding cells later.

“All right,” I agreed with a smirk. It was almost cute that she thought this deal would keep me from dealing with them using my own version of justice. “Why not?”

Sookie cleared Bruce quickly, much to Longshadow’s disappointment. Sniveling coward that Bruce was, he was not our thief. Then Sookie used her telepathy to clear several more humans and Pam’s pets, all the while scrunching her face in disgust at their thoughts. I brought Ginger in last, disappointed. I was certain it was her, now that all the others had been eliminated - save Jane. She had been with us for so long, it was surprising to me that she would be the one that would steal from us this way. Jane would be here soon, and I was worried that Longshadow would dole out some gruesome justice to Ginger in front of sensitive little Jane.

As Ginger sat down, Jane quietly came in and sat at the bar, her back to Longshadow. She looked over at me blankly, and I could feel that she was a bit apprehensive about this whole process.

“Ginger, someone’s been stealing money from the bar,” Sookie started.

“Really. Huh..” Ginger replied, not sounding surprised. No, shit. She wouldn’t sound surprised if she was the thief.

“She didn’t do it, but she knows who did,” Sookie stated, looking up at me quickly.

Interesting.

“What! Fuck you!” Ginger spat at her.

“Who? Who’s going to kill you?” Sookie asked Ginger, evidently reading her thoughts about the person who stole the money. “Ginger honey, what’s his name?” Sookie demanded from her, staring intently at Ginger. After a few moments, Sookie just shook her head in frustration, “It’s blank like her memory’s been erased,” she exclaimed enthusiastically.

Ginger looked back at me. “I don’t know anything, I swear!” she said, shaking her head, eyes wide in fear.

“She’s been glamoured,” Pam told me in realization. Fuck! I should have interviewed the humans myself, checking them for glamours.

“It’s a vampire...” Sookie slowly mused, coming to the same conclusion as all of us.

Suddenly Longshadow leaped across the bar, throwing Jane out of the way in the process. Her head made a thudding sound as it hit against a barstool, and I rushed over to her instinctively to check her over. She was unconscious, but her heartbeat was steady, and her breathing was fine, so she was just knocked out. Meanwhile, Longshadow was trying to throttle Sookie, and Ginger was screaming and screaming...

“Ginger enough!” Pam shouted at her. And Ginger shut up.

“Thank you,” I said to Pam with an annoyed sigh. Humans. I picked Jane up and laid her on the bar, and checked her over again. Her pulse was strong, and I had to force myself to pull away from my feelings for her. Humans, so hard to keep from spoiling.

I was surprised that Longshadow was the culprit behind the theft. I watched as he pulled Sookie's neck back and was ready to bite her. Did he really think that ripping her throat out would prevent his punishment? Well, Longshadow had always been bloodthirsty; it was one of his best qualities. It was what made him such an excellent enforcer for our Area. But too much pride, never enough sense, was always a problem for him. I supposed that explained his thievery as well.

I had expected Bill to defend his human. To pull Longshadow off of her, or in the very least request that I as the Sheriff do something. But what he did instead was visceral. He leaned over the bar, pulled the wooden handle of tap off, and staked Longshadow through the back.

Longshadow’s demise resulted in a spectacular spray of blood all over Sookie. It completely coated her white dress and most of her body in blood before and then he exploded into a messy pile of gooey sinew and organs. Ginger started screaming again at the sight of Longshadow’s death, and Jane was still out cold on the bar. When Ginger finally stopped screaming, she took in the scene and vomited everywhere… and then she continued to scream.

“Humans,” I said. “Honestly, Bill. I don’t know what you see in them.”

Pam shook her head at me and looked pointedly at Jane. This was precisely why I needed to let go of Jane, claiming humans made one irrational and territorial. Killing instead of fucking thinking. Bill directed Sookie to go wash up in the bathroom, and Pam commanded Ginger to start cleaning up the mess.

“When Ginger is finished, glamour her for me,” I asked Pam staring blankly down at the sobbing mess of Ginger’s form.

“Are you sure? She’s been glamoured one too many times already. Who knows how much of her is left?” Pam replied, and the extent of her glamouring was even greater than we knew, what with Longshadow hiding his deceit.

“It’s either that or turn her,” I replied, as no human was allowed to witness a vampire’s death. “You want her?” I asked, joking with my Progeny.

“Please, I’m not that desperate,” Pam replied, a bit snippy, as she is every time I bring up her becoming a Maker again. “Glamour, it is.”

“Excellent,” I replied, knowing that it was settled.

I looked back up at Jane, still unconscious on the bar, and contemplated what to do with her. She would be fine. I would know more when she woke up, so I couldn’t worry about her for now. I forced myself to turn away from her prone form, and I turned to Bill instead.

“Come, I’ll buy you a blood,” I offered him and walked towards my office, my intent for him to follow me obvious. I wondered if he’d actually be able to drink it, the supposed Mainstreamer he was now. I grabbed him a bottle of True Blood from behind the bar on my way, and we went back to my office. I put the bottle in the microwave and watched Bill stew as it heated for fifteen seconds.

He knew that he broke the law in front of vampire and human witnesses. I would have to report him to the Magister. I was duty-bound as Sheriff. I wanted him out of my area. I didn’t trust Bill, and I knew how he had been raised. I had seen the depraved shit his Maker had taught him, and I didn’t think those early lessons ever really faded. No, Bill Compton could not be trusted, and I was certain that there was something else afoot here.

I handed him the warmed blood. “Thank you,'' he said, all southern manners.

“How do you stomach that stuff? Don’t you find it metallic and vile?” I asked him, trying to get a better read on the type of Mainstreamer he was.

“I don’t think about it. It’s sustenance, that’s all,” he replied manner of factly.

I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped at his response, and I went and sat behind my desk. Bill wasn’t very convincing. It was apparent that he was just trying to be a good boy now. As if sipping TruBlood would make up for the years he spent draining sex workers and fucking his Maker in their blood.

“What?” he asked politely.

“Well, if you’re their poster boy, the mainstreaming movement is very deep trouble.” Crossing my legs and relaxing back in my chair, I put on my salesman’s voice and drawled, “Tru Blood. It keeps you alive, but it will bore you to death.”

“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?” Bill bit out, not liking that I saw right through his act.

“You killed a vampire, Bill. For a human. What are we going to do about that?” I asked. I wondered what he would offer me. I could try to cover this up for him. Longshadow’s Maker would come around asking questions and causing problems, which would make this a difficult task for me.

Bill’s jaw clenching, “What did you have in mind?” he asked in return. I felt this was an excellent time to learn what his interest was in the cloying little telepath. Other than her skill.

“I’ll take the girl,” I offered.

“No,” he replied immediately.

That was very telling. He and I exchanged a look, and I could see he knew I was onto him in his eyes. He immediately tried to backpedal, voice turning to that sickly sweet tone of the cornered.

“You can have anyone you want. You already have my descendant. Why would you want Sookie?”

“Why do you want her?” I asked instead, controlling the conversation with my questions. I was trying to figure out what it was about her that would cause him to kill a vampire impulsively. There were several other options that he could have chosen, but he reacted instinctively, killing for her on the spot. As if she were his kin, his own Progeny or Maker, like she was a blood sibling. Like he loved her, and I knew then that is what it was, but I asked anyway.

“You’re not in love with her, are you?”

“Sookie must be protected,” he said instead, dodging my question.

“Now, that sounds like an edict. But it couldn’t be, because I would know about that,” I stated, staring Bill down until he dropped his gaze and didn’t respond. That was it - he likely had a direct order issued by the Queen. But why?

I knew that Bill had most recently worked in the Queen’s court as a procurer, his line was supposedly gifted with an excellent glamour, which had made him a favored procurer and well-respected member of her court. I wondered about his purpose here. Was he truly here on the Queen’s orders? I would have to dig deeper and find out what he had done since coming to my Area. Perhaps it was nothing, and he really was just in love with the human telepath.

“Admit it. You love her,” I pushed him.

“If I hadn’t done what I did, would you have let his disloyalty stand?” Bill asked, trying to turn this back on me.

Staring him down, I made sure my tone reflected my unamused thoughts on his utter incompetence, “Whatever I did to Longshadow, I would not have done in front of witnesses. Especially not vampire witnesses. Not smart, Bill. Not smart at all.” While I was pissed that I didn’t get to exact any justice upon Longshadow myself, it was more than worth it to have something over Bill.

“Eric, it would behoove you to help me with this situation. After all, you want to have the use of Sookie’s abilities,” Bill replied in a honeyed voice as he tried to persuade me, taking a drink of his Tru Blood at the end of his statement. He was undoubtedly trying to appear casual, that was for sure.

“Perhaps. I also have obligations as Sheriff of Area 5,” I told him. “I imagine that the Magister will have to rule on this.”

“I will be in your debt if you can see any way around this,” Bill said.

“I will take that under advisement,” I told him. “Now, glamour your human and go.”

Bill’s expression twisted into a slight grimace, “She cannot be glamoured. Something about her telepathy prevents it,” he haltingly explained. That explained her attitude - Bill couldn’t glamour her to be respectful.

“Hmm.. interesting,” I replied. Very unusual.

Standing up with a nod, Bill walked away. I would report him to the Magister. It would be too risky for me not to, and besides, Bill had nothing to offer me. I sat in the office for a while, trying to figure out if there was any better solution. As far as I could tell, there wasn’t. Besides, if Bill spent a few years in a silver coffin, it would mean that he wouldn’t be here, and that could only be good for me. Rolling my options around in my head, I heard a soft knock on the door. Jane came in, and I could sense her headache and her dread.

“Pam said that you’d need to glamour me, that I’m not supposed to have seen…” she started anxiously, eyes refusing to meet mine.

I looked at her pale face. I felt my drops of blood in her quivering in fear. She was terrified again.

My gaze on her softened some, though I would never admit it, “No,” I told her. “You were unconscious. You didn’t see anything.” It was a close call, but I could get away with it.

Her relief was evident, and I could feel the relief from those drops of blood and that made me feel ...uncomfortable that I was so pleased to have her avoid something that she did not wish to do, even if it would have been wiser for me to glamour her. I was doing it again, acting irrationally because of her and her fucking feelings. I needed to continue with my plan to back away from her. I couldn’t become more invested in such a beautiful breakable thing, like a crystal vase that would inevitably smash to the floor.

Yanking away from my troubling thoughts, “I will have some business for the next several days,” I told her. I would have to take Bill to the tribunal, I was certain. It was also a good excuse not to see her. Help clear my head of her.

She nodded and looked at her feet. Yes, she had expected this, gods that pissed me off.

“I understand,” she told the floor, still not willing to look at me.

I wanted to shake her and tell her that she should demand better! She deserves better. I was failing her, failing at protecting her, failing at caring for her well.

“Jane,” I said softly, and she looked up at me with her turquoise eyes. I couldn’t help but fear for her, the strangler still on the loose. “Be safe.”

“Of course,” she replied with a slow nod. “Good luck with your...business.” Then she was gone.

Perhaps she is right not to trust.

Godric’s words floated through my mind, and I wished that I had the strength to prove him and her wrong. I could feel her acceptance, tinged with melancholy, and I stifled the feeling of my blood in her. Now only her strongest emotions would get through.

It had to be done.

*****

Jane’s POV - Saturday, June 27th - Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

After the whole incident at Fangtasia, I spent the next day working tirelessly on the house. I found a unique antique bed frame at a cute little vintage shop in Shreveport, and I drove all the way out to the discount ‘Mattress Mania’ store in Monroe to buy a mattress for it. I felt like a princess in a fairytale as I laid on mattresses one after the other until I found one that I thought was just right. Perfectly firm and soft. Even with it being a discount store, the mattress still was costly, but I put it on my credit card I rarely used. I decided it would be worth it. It would be my own little nest. I could spend many a Sunday morning lazing around in it, drinking tea, sketching, and reading. I also went and paid for an oven and a fridge to be delivered and installed using a good chunk of my summer pay. My house was becoming livable.

Late in the afternoon, I went into Merlotte’s for lunch, and Arlene gave me forty dollars for babysitting her kids, it was only ten dollars an hour, but I didn’t mind. Arlene showed off her ring to everyone and was guilting Sam into letting her have an engagement party at the bar. I watched the exchange with amusement as I sat at the bar and ate a veggie burger and nibbled some french fries.

Sookie came into the bar with a terrible attitude, and I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t actually seen Longshadow explode into a messy pile of organs, but I saw Sookie's dress and the pile of goo on the floor, and I could imagine that it was a pretty horrific thing to witness.

I paid for my burger and decided to drive out some of the old country roads. I loved exploring, and I was surprised and elated when I found a tree that was covered in shoes. I circled the tree, observing the different sizes and styles of shoes hanging from the branches, marveling at it all - what a strange and random wonder. The tree itself was an old weather oak, and hanging from every branch were pairs of shoes. It was adorned with sneakers and slippers, with ice skates and worn men’s loafers. I sat and sketched it for ages. I wondered who had started it and why? How did others hear about it and join in? It was strange, and I liked it immensely. My mind wandered to Eric’s assertion that I wasn’t normal.

I was starting to decide that maybe I wasn’t.

I didn’t like what other people liked, and I didn’t want what most people would want. I supposed I was different, and I decided that I was going to be okay with that. Everyone was different. Everyone was the same. I didn’t really mind being ‘different’ - I didn’t like labels, and I thought everyone had a bit of strangeness to them. I liked that, I accepted it, but I didn’t think that it made me special.

My favorite thing about the shoe tree was that there was occasionally just a single shoe. Its match would be gone. I wondered if those single shoe's had been tossed up there all alone. That they didn’t have a match, or maybe they were tossed up with a match, and it fell and was swept away by water, or weather, or an animal, and its mate was still stuck in the shoe tree. Alone. My favorite idea was that the shoe was created by itself without a match for a one-legged pirate. It was born without a match.

It lived and died alone.

I sketched a shoe tree of my own design, and it had only shoes without their matches on it. They were complete and perfect with no one and nothing. Free in the wind and far from others. Utterly content by themselves.

The sky faded to a deep indigo blue, and I didn’t have enough light to continue to draw anymore. I had intended to get out my hoodie and lay on the hood of my car and look at the stars, but I realized I had left it at the bar. I decided I would be too cold and uncomfortable without it, so I drove back to Merlotte’s to get it. I was surprised to see Pam and an Asian vampire I didn’t recognize standing outside. Bill and Sookie were talking, and it looked like they were arguing.

“Hey, Doll,” Pam said to me when I got out of my car.

“Hi, Pam. What’s going on?” I asked her, standing next to her.

“Bill has to go to the tribunal for staking Longshadow,” Pam said in her normal bored tone. When I looked at her with confusion, she elaborated. “Bill was a bad boy, and now he’s probably gonna get a timeout in the naughty coffin.” I looked over at the new vampire that I hadn’t met before. “This here is Chow, Chow this Jane.” Pam introduced us.

Chow looked at me and sniffed deeply. “She smells like Eric.”

Just then, Eric appeared beside us. “Jane is mine,” he said smoothly, and I tried to suppress my feelings at the sound of him uttering those words. I wasn’t sure if he still considered me his. Not after his chilly announcement yesterday. I had been trying to keep myself busy and not think about his words and how he was trying to cut ties with me. Be safe. It would have been easier if he had just said ‘goodbye’. I was drawn away from those thoughts by Sookie and Bill’s voices carrying across the parking lot.

“You lied to me. You said that everything was gonna be okay, but it’s not, is it?” Sookie asked him, looking betrayed.

“I honestly don’t know,” Bill told her in response.

“Tick-tock, Bill,” Eric called him.

“Bill…” Sookie said sadly.

Bill grabbed her by the shoulders. “Just look after yourself, all right? I’ve asked Sam to watch over you.”

“I wish you hadn’t have done that.”

“Be smart, Sookie, and just let him. There’s still somebody out there who wants to kill you.”

My memory of being strangled was fresh in my mind, and I rubbed my neck gently.

“Fine. I will.” Sookie said with tears in her eyes.

“Thank you,” Bill told her.

“And time,” Eric called out to them.

Bill kissed Sookie while she cried, and I remembered what Eric had told me about how kissing a human would be perceived as weakness. Bill must really love her.

“If I had any feelings, I’d have the chills right about now,” Pam said dryly.

Eric’s eyes briefly landed on me before he replied in clipped tones.

“Not me.”

Well, what a fucking contradiction he was. He still claimed me in front of this new guy Chow, but then basically said that kissing me was a mistake. I tried not to feel angry with him. I knew this would happen; I had known from the moment I saw him on that throne.

Sookie and Bill continued to kiss, and Eric had to yell again to get Bill to stop.

“Bill. Now,” Eric said. Bill left Sookie standing there crying. Eric, Bill, Pam, and Chow all left, and Eric didn’t say anything else to me at all.

I was sick of his bullshit.

Tara had come out, apparently to talk to Sookie. They seemed to be making up from some kind of argument. I went into the bar getting back to my original purpose for coming here. I saw a waitress with long brown hair that I hadn’t met yet.

“Hi, I left my hoodie here earlier, and I don’t know where it would have ended up.”

“Yeah, I’m new here, so I’m not sure either. Let me get these plates out, and I’ll ask back in the kitchen,” the waitress said with a customer service smile.

“Sure, no problem,” I said, and I sat at the bar waiting for her. She went to the serving window, and I heard her ask a cook in that back where it might be.

“Nuh-uh. They’s can’t have it back. It’s Lala’s now,” I heard a sassy voice respond.

I went over and peered through the window and back into the kitchen, and I saw the chef holding my small pink hoodie up to his much larger frame. He was a handsome black man with lovely false eyelashes, and I knew he had to be tough as hell to live his truth in rural Louisiana, where homophobia and racism were as commonplace as country music and pickup trucks.

“I’ll let you keep it if you like it that much,” I told him with a small smile.

“Hmmm… If I could fit it in, I would accept that offer! Here you go, baby girl,” he said, handing it out to me.

“Thank you,” I replied.

“Lafayette, you’re a riot!” the new waitress said.

I gave them a little wave goodbye and went back out to my car. The sky was full of stars, and I decided that I would go find a good stargazing spot now that I had my hoodie. The graveyard actually would work pretty well. Then when I was tired enough, I would just be able to walk home. I drove home, and I got a quilt out and found a spot in the graveyard to sit.

The night was quiet except for the occasional animal sound and the whistle of the wind through the trees. I liked it. I felt calm amongst the tombstones. I tried not to think about my recent disappointment with Eric and decided to think about things I could control. My house, getting a job, making a life for myself in this weird-ass town. Hopefully not getting strangled in the process. I was torn from my thoughts when I saw a dog running through the graveyard. I got up and followed it; poor pup was probably lost.

The dog went right over to Sookie’s house, and I saw her get out of her car and start talking to it. Oh, it must be her dog. Kind of irresponsible of her just to let it roam around. I grumbled a little bit as I walked away back to my quilt. I wondered if I would like to have a pet. I had never considered it before, living in an apartment. Maybe I would get a cat! I liked that idea a lot. I could go to a shelter. I would want an older cat, maybe one that had trouble getting adopted. I mused on this idea for a while until I heard raised voices coming from Sookie’s house.

My immediate thought was that the killer was back. I sprinted over, my cell phone out, ready to dial 911. When I got there, I was surprised to see only Sam Merlotte sitting on her front porch. They must have been arguing because Sookie slammed the door, and he stayed outside. What I saw next made me blink several times and doubt my sanity.

Sam Merlotte just turned into the dog. The same dog that I had seen Sookie talking to earlier.

Wait...what?

I shook my head and went and sat back down on the quilt. I knew now that there was more out there than just vampires, but just how much more? My mind began to spin. Dogmen, apparently, werewolves probably, but what else could there be? There was still so much I didn’t know… My mind spun and wove stories of all the things that I had ever heard of and all the possible creatures that went bump in the night. I found I wasn’t afraid. If anything, I found that I loved the idea that there was more out there than what I could see. I found beauty in the unknown.

I fell asleep in the graveyard on my quilt, and I woke to the birds singing me awake. I walked back to my house to find that my door had been pried open.

The killer had tried to break into my house.

I looked at the damage to my door and my door frame. I checked the house nervously, my cell phone ready to dial for the cops, but it was empty. I called down to the non-emergency line at the Sheriff’s department. They said that they would send the Sheriff and the detective out right away. I quickly changed and made a pot of tea, trying to look put together and not as if I had just slept in a graveyard.

I greeted the law enforcement men politely. Sheriff Dearborne was a slight man that reminded me of an aging bloodhound with droopy eyes, and I doubted if anyone in the parish found him intimidating. His expression was pained, and I wondered if he had poor health. Detective Bellefleur was about as far from a ‘beautiful flower’ as one man could be. He was solid and square with a barrel chest and balding head. He gave me the impression of someone that thought they didn't get the respect they were due. I had always been curious about the types of people law enforcement attracted, and I wondered if most of them did for the right reasons. I invited them in and offered them tea, and they asked for my statement.

“Well, when I got home this morning, I noticed that my door had been pried open. Someone had broken in, but nothing was missing,” I explained.

“You weren’t home at all last night?” Sheriff Dearborne asked me.

“No...I accidentally fell asleep in the graveyard after stargazing,” I told him embarrassedly.

“Uh...sorry to ask this, but were you alone in the graveyard?” the Detective asked me, looking utterly confused.

“Well, I mean there’s lots of tombstones and I suppose dead people under them…” I rambled not really understanding his question.

“You weren’t there with a different type of dead person, a vampire, maybe?” the Sheriff asked, and I finally got their meaning. They wanted to know if I was having sex with a vampire in the graveyard?

“No, I was alone,” I told him firmly.

“Cause you did have a bite not so long ago and—“

“No, I promise you, I was alone. Stargazing.”

“That may well have saved your life,” the Sheriff said, and it didn’t seem like he believed me. “You were already targeted by the killer once.”

That was terrifying. All because of a stupid bite. No, that was the wrong way to think about this. All because of one bigoted asshat.

“Do you have any idea who it is? Are you close to catching them?” I asked, setting my trembling teacup down.

“We have several theories at this time,” the Detective replied. Which to me meant, no, they had no idea who it was.

“Do you have any friends or family you could stay with?” Sheriff Dearborne inquired.

I shook my head. I didn’t know anyone well enough to ask if I could stay with them.

“You may want to consider getting yourself a gun,” Detective Bellefleur recommended.

“I don’t know anything about guns,” I told them.

“It was just a suggestion. Call the station at the first sign of trouble,” the Sheriff stated with a shrug, and I was not reassured. He examined the door for a bit, and then they left.

My first task was to fix my door, so I drove downtown to the Super-Save-A-Bunch hardware store. I got the basic supplies that I needed to fix my door frame. I noticed a hunting store nearby, so I walked over. I wasn’t sure I would get a gun or even have a preferred gun-type that I would want. I looked around, feeling out of my element. I was a teacher. We did lockdown drills and practiced what to do if there was an armed intruder; I was not a fan of guns.

“Uh...you lost?” a rather rotund man with a mullet asked me, he appeared to be the owner.

“Maybe. What kind of gun would you recommend for me for self-defense?” I asked.

He showed me a bunch of smaller handguns that were less intimidating. As he was showing them off to me, the door to the shop opened, and Terry walked in.

“Hey, Jane,” he greeted me. “What’s new, Jimmy?” he asked the proprietor.

“Your friend here is thinking about getting a gun,” Jimmy told Terry.

“Whatcha need a gun for?” Terry asked me, tensing up and looking straight at me.

“Detective Bellefleur recommended that I consider getting one. They think that killer broke into my house last night while I was out.”

“My damn fool cousin,” Terry exclaimed. “You should not get a gun.” He turned to Jimmy. “Don’t you try to sell her one neither.”

“Terry, come on, man, the girl has a right to defend herself.”

“This girl doesn’t even eat meat. She wouldn’t even use that gun if it was in her hand. It just is a convenient weapon to hand over to her killer!” Terry yelled at him.

I hadn’t thought of that. Would I even use it? I thought I could if I had to.

“Come on, Jane,” Terry said, and I left with him.

We walked down the sidewalk. “If you really did want a gun, I’m sorry,” he said, looking at the ground in front of us sheepishly.

“Nah, you’re probably right,” I replied. “I’m just...I’m scared,” I told him. He stopped walking and so did I and he looked at me for a moment.

“Come to Arlene’s party tonight. That way, you don’t have to be alone in that big house,” he offered kindly.

I nodded—that made sense.

“Okay. Terry. I’ll be there,” I said.

He looked at me weirdly, as if trying to make sure I was telling him the truth. “Good,” he said with a satisfied nod and walked away.

I tilted my head and smiled - Terry certainly was interesting, that was for sure. I went home and fixed the hardware on my door well enough that it shut and locked, but it wouldn’t keep the killer out if he really wanted to get in. I went upstairs and showered and changed into a nice dress for the party. I even curled my hair, if only to have something to do that wasn’t thinking about the murderer. I found myself missing Eric. I knew that he would keep me safe. I felt ridiculous. Eric… I wasn’t even sure if he would still say that I was his by the time he got back from the Tribunal thing. I wasn’t sure that I even wanted him to.

In many ways, I was glad that Eric was already distancing himself from me. I knew that it would happen at some point. I got into my car and continue to think about him on my drive over. Eric wasn’t going to get in deep with me. I could tell that about him from the moment I sketched him, from the way his eyes caressed the women in his club. He wasn’t about the emotional connection to human women. Eric was all about the physical.

He was doing me a kindness, really, not letting me get in deeper with him.

When I got to the party, it was already in full swing. A band was playing, and Rene and Arlene were dancing up a storm. I was so not a dancer; sometimes, I felt like my body was just a place I stored my mind and had no real connection with it. Like it was the car that got me from point A to point B. I had told this to a teacher friend at school when they asked me why I didn’t want to come to the Dallas clubs with them on the weekends, and she had looked at me like I was crazy, so I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone since. Coby and Lisa came up to me, and I spent a long time with them, getting regaled with tales of how their paintings were on the fridge and how everyone loved them. And with other random anecdotes about school and their Mama getting married.

Eventually, they got bored talking to me, and I went over to where Terry stood, speaking with Sookie.

“Guilt is a useless emotion,” Terry was saying. “Or so I’ve heard.” He added at the end.

“I just wish Bill was here,” Sookie told us.

Terry thought about that for a moment. “There’s some dead people I wish was still around, too,” he said, and I smiled at him sadly. Me too. My Mama died in a car accident. A drunk driver hit her. My Daddy died my senior year of high school after battling cancer on and off for most of my memory. I wished I would have gotten to know them.

Terry had a faraway look in his eye. “Terry?” I asked him, and he snapped back to the present.

“Yeah?”

“Can you show me where to get a soda?” I asked.

“Oh, sure,” he said, perking up a bit and holding out his arm in a gentlemanly fashion. I placed my arm in the crook of his, and he smiled at me grandly. As he led me over to an ice bucket, I couldn’t help but grin back at him. “There’s orange, cherry, something that looks like cola, but it ain’t,” Terry explained while pointing to the various cans and bottles in the bucket.

“Cherry’s fine,” I said, and he handed it to me. “How’s Felix?” I asked.

“He’s good. I fed him a bunch of insects earlier,” he replied, and I smiled.

“Hey, Terry, Jane,” Sam said, coming up to us. “What’s this?” he asked, looking between us and tick-tocking his finger between the two of us.

“What?” Terry asked.

“Did you invite Jane here as your date?” Sam asked, looking impressed.

“Uh...I mean, I did ask her here. Did you think this was a date?” he turned to me, looking freaked out.

“I didn’t. I thought you just asked me as a friend,” I replied honestly, a feeling of worry creeping up a smidge - he was such a sweetheart, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Oh. Good. ‘Cause, that’s what I thought too,” he said, looking relieved, and he put his hand on his heart like he had a heart attack.

“Alright then,” Sam said with an amused smile. “Well, I hope you both have a good time, at your not a date,” he said as he walked away, and I could tell he had a hint of sarcasm there.

“I’m glad that we’re friends, Terry,” I told him.

“Me too. You don’t make me feel weird about being weird,” he said, ruffling his hair as he glanced away from me.

I nodded. I understood exactly what he meant.

“Do you want to sit and not feel forced to talk about anything?” I asked, gesturing to two empty chairs.

“That sounds great!” he replied and grabbed a beer. We sat together and people watched.

After a good couple of minutes of people watching, he suddenly turned to me, “Do you want any food?” he asked enthusiastically. I smiled at him and tilted my head to the side as I thought.

“Ummm...can you just grab me a corn on the cob?”

He shook his head and laughed, “You’re like a rabbit,” he poked at me.

I shrugged, and he got up to get us some food.

Waiting for Terry to come back, Arlene came over looking excited. “Are you and Terry datin’!?” she asked with a bit of a squeal.

This was going to be a long night if that’s what everyone thought.

“No. We’re friends,” I replied calmly.

“Awww, well he’s real sweet. You could do a lot worse in this town, believe me,” she said, and I could tell that she spoke from experience.

The brown-haired waitress from last night that helped me get my hoodie joined us.

“Hi, I’m Amy,” she said, introducing herself and holding out a hand.

“Jane,” I replied, and we shook hands. There was something not quite right about her, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Just shaking her had given me a woozy lighted head feeling, like the time I had accidentally taken too much cough syrup.

“Jane was just telling me that she and Terry are just friends.”

I sighed, shaking off the weird feeling, and trying to figure out what Arlene was saying. Sookie plopped down across from me, looking like she was in a bad mood. She looked over from me to where Terry was in line to get us food and I knew that I would have to keep saying it over and over until folks believed me.

“Men and women can just be friends, you know,” I told them.

“Sure. If one of them is gay!” Arlene said outrageously, making the other women giggle and smile. “I’m just kiddin’. I just wish everyone was as happy as Rene and me,” she squealed. I was thankful when she seemed to change the subject. Arlene waxed on for a bit about Rene’s many good attributes ranging from his butt to how good he was with the kids. I was happy for her.

Amy, I learned, was dating Sookie’s brother, the one I had heard described as a horndog. I also got the impression that he wasn’t too bright either.

Terry came and brought me my corn without a word and walked away, obviously not wanting to get drawn into the “lady gossip” and I wished that I could join him without being rude.

“I don’t know how anyone can trust anybody these days. They’re always keeping things from you. And you don’t even know who people are or what they are,” Sookie grumpily said, and we all sat in tense silence for a little bit. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with trust issues.

“Well, you know what I love about Jason?” Amy said, trying to rid the table of the awkwardness. “Everything is just right there on the surface. You never have to wonder what he’s thinking.”

“Yeah, ‘cause he ain’t thinkin’,” Sookie said, and Arlene laughed.

Just then, Tara stumbled up to the table. The strong scent of alcohol wafted off of her, and with the way that she swayed it was clear that she was drunk as a skunk.

“Hey, girlfriends, what’s up?” she slurred slightly.

“Tara, you look--you look great,” Arlene said, trying not to say that Tara looked sloshed.

“Prom night 2000, I ain’t wore it since.” Taking a second to digest what she said, I quickly figured out if she hadn’t worn her dress since her senior prom. That meant she was probably only two or three years younger than me.

“Well, it still fits you,” Amy said in a phony nice kind of way.

“Tara, come here,” Sookie got up and pulled her away.

Amy and Arlene gossiped a little bit, and I learned that Tara’s mother was an alcoholic and that everyone figured Tara was going down the same path. I had never liked being part of these types of conversations and I felt stuck at this table. I felt trapped at this party because I was afraid to go home. I was afraid to be alone in my house waiting for the killer to come and find me. I rubbed my neck, trying to rid myself of the memory of the belt being tightened around it.

I nibbled my corn, and Arlene got up to check on things, and Amy went to chat with Jason, he was a very handsome fellow that looked familiar to me but I could quite place him. I sat at the table alone for a while, and then I saw Tara stumble into her car, taking a long pull of vodka straight from the bottle before slamming her car door. I got up to go and stop her, but even at run she had been too fast and had already driven away.

This was very bad. She should not be driving!

Should I get in my car and follow her? I had waited too long, and I didn’t know which direction she had gone. I went to try to find Sookie. I knew that Tara was her friend, maybe she would know where she would go or how to help.

“Where’s Sookie?” I asked Arlene.

“She just went inside to get some ice.” Arlene gestured to the bar, and I went in. The bar was dark and empty, and I suddenly felt afraid.

“Hello? Sookie?” I called into the darkness. Then I heard a crash from the kitchen and Sookie was struggling to crawl through the serving window, a man’s hand trying to grasp her ankle.

The killer!

I ran to Sookie, grabbing her by the arms, our eyes meeting in mutual terror. She was able to break free and we ran to the front together and then Sam was standing there, and Sookie threw herself into his arms.

Sam wanted to go investigate who it was but Sookie was clinging to him.

“No, no, no. please, please don’t leave me,” she begged him to stay.

“I saw him too!” I told him and my voice trembled, and I realized that I was shaking. “He was here.” Why was he here? To kill me? To kill Sookie? Who would be next? Was anywhere safe?

Just then, my phone rang, making me jump.

“Your fear is extremely inconvenient,” Eric told me when I answered.

“I’m fine. Just got chased by the killer,” I told him. “Sorry.”

He sighed. “Can’t you stay safe for more than one night?”

“Evidently not because the murderer tried to break into my house last night too,” I blurted to him.

“Stay somewhere else.” He tried to order me.

“Thanks for the advice. You don’t need to call next time you feel my fear. Just...go back to your business,” I told him.

“Jane-” He started to say, but I hung up. I walked away from Sam comforting Sookie. I got in my car and drove home. I was trying not to mull on the fact that my fear was inconvenient. That I was inconvenient. I stayed up all night, waiting for the killer to come, but he never did. I felt like shit when I realized that I never told anyone about Tara driving drunk. If she got hurt or hurt someone else, I would be at least partially responsible for not stopping her. I fell into a fitful sleep once I saw the sunrise, dreaming of the killer’s belt around my throat.

I woke late in the afternoon, not feeling rested at all. I showered, and then I went over to Merlotte’s, hoping to apologize to Terry for bailing on the party without saying goodbye. He was working in the back, doing a double shift, and I could tell he was frustrated and busy.

“I just wanted to say…” I started.

“I just don’t want you to get killed,” he said, slamming a pot down on the stove and not letting me finish. “Too many of my friends have been killed already.”

“I am sorry,” I apologized sincerely to him.

“Stay here,” he asked me. “Stay until I get off work, and then let me get my gun and I’ll come and stay on your porch.”

“Terry...is that really…” I started. But he was giving me the crazy eye, so I relented.

“Fine. But I better get an awesome salad tonight,” I said, and he grinned and got back to flipping burgers.

I sat at the bar and waited. I talked to Sam and he promised that he would find out if Tara was okay. Many people came and went, and I looked at the men and wondered if any of them were the killer. I ate my salad, and the night dragged on and on. I hadn’t even brought my sketchbook in. Finally, Terry closed up the kitchen and walked me out to my car.

“I’ll meet you over there. Just don’t get killed in the meantime,” he said a bit gruffly.

“Okay, I’ll try not to.” I got in my car and drove home. I sat in it, scared to get out. What if the killer was already in there waiting for me? My hands were gripping the steering wheel, my knuckles white. I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone rang.

Eric.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hello,” he replied evenly.

“You rang?” I asked, still a bit tetchy. Why was he even bothering?

“Are you safe?” he asked.

“I have a friend coming with his gun to stay with me tonight,” I told him.

“The chef? The one that saw you nude?” he inquired.

“Yes, but he’s just a friend,” I reminded him, and he said something in a language I didn’t recognize. If I had to guess I imagined that he was cursing.

“I… just be wary,” he replied.

“Fine,” I said. I saw headlights behind me. “He’s here now. I’ve gotta go.”

“Call me tomorrow,” he asked, a hint of something raw in his voice that made me give in.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“Just… stay safe.” He hung up.

I got out of the car, not thinking about Eric’s hot and cold behavior towards me.

“Waitin’ in the car. Good,” Terry said, and he was all decked out in military gear.

I led him up to the house. He checked all the points of entry and secured the back door.

“Alright, you go up to your bed, and I will be here.” He indicated the chair he had put on the front porch.

“You’re going to be okay, right?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Just don’t sneak up on me.”

“What should I do?” I asked.

“Just announce yourself.”

“Okay.” I turned and went inside. I lingered in the doorway. “Thank you, Terry. You’re a really good friend.”

“I...I don’t got a lot of folks that I can call that anymore. So, I’m gonna do my best to make sure you stay alive," he replied.

I went upstairs, changed into my pajamas, and crawled into bed. I was so tired. I plunked myself in the center of my bed and fell straight asleep.

Eric and I were sitting on my bench, looking out over the valley.

“Why are we here?” I asked him.

“This is where it all started, right?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said. “This is the place.”

“What are you looking for?” he asked me.

“I don’t know anymore,” I told him. “I wanted what I had here.”

“What was that?” Eric asked me.

I stood up, not sure how to answer. There, on the other bench, was my silver-eyed friend. His hair was dark, and his smile was somehow sad.

“Why didn’t you come back here?” Silver-eyes asked me.

I shrugged.

“You were too afraid?” he guessed.

“Yes. I wanted to keep you perfect. I didn’t want it to get spoiled by the inevitable.”

“The inevitable?” Eric asked.

“Yes, the inevitable disappointment. Just let me have this.” I begged him. And I wasn’t sure what I meant by this. Did I mean the weird relationship that I had with him, or the moment that I had here?

“You’re the one that can’t seem to let the feeling go. Are you looking for it in me? You keep chasing it, finding it around every tombstone and star,” Eric sniped back.

“Those are just a taste,” I said, mostly to myself.

“A taste of what?” my friend asked.

“Of that night. Of what I want,” I told him.

“What is that you want?” Eric asked.

I shook my head. I didn’t know. I couldn’t figure it out. Something like groundbreaking wonder, a connection to a limitless past, an utter and complete trust and surrender. What was that?

“Just leave me alone,” I told them. “I’ll stop searching,” I said half-heartedly.

“You need to know what you’re searching for,” Eric said. “That way, I can help you find it. Just tell me what you need, and I will give it to you.”

“I know you will figure it out,” My friend replied confidently. “You will figure it out.”

I woke up with my dream slipping away again. Eric was there. We were on the ridge…It was gone. I showered and dressed. I announced myself loudly, and Terry didn’t jump.

“Want to go get breakfast?” I asked him.

“Yep,” he said. “I’ll drive.”

“I’ll pay,” I said, and he agreed.

We went to a diner not far away. I was able to get a bowl of oatmeal and fruit, and he had eggs and bacon, and we sat in comfortable silence.

“I saw a deer with her fawn,” he told me. “Walked right in front of me.”

“That’s neat.” I would have liked to see that.

“Yeah. It was.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I’m gonna drop you off and go home and nap before my shift tonight.”

“Good idea,” I told him. He looked dead on his feet.

“I’ll come an’ stand guard again tonight,” he promised me and grabbed my hand tightly, and I could feel the fear in his grip.

“Terry, would it be easier if we just didn’t tell anyone and I came to where you lived? That way...the killer wouldn’t know where to find me, and even if they did figure it out...you’d still be there to protect me?”

He blinked a couple of times, letting his tired brain process that.

“Yeah, but you’ll have to sleep on my bed, and Felix sleeps under it.”

“I’m okay with that. Or the couch.”

He said something about entry points and perimeter and how I wouldn’t be safe on the couch. I agreed to sleep in his bed, and he seemed satisfied.

“I think I’m just going to spend the afternoon sketching in the graveyard, and then I’ll come to Merlotte’s.”

“Good. Alright.” I paid for our food and left a good tip, and we walked out to the parking lot so Terry could drive me back home.

As we were about to get in the truck, Terry’s phone rang.

“What is it, Cuz?” he answered.

He looked over at me as we stood outside his truck, and he looked puzzled.

“Jason Stackhouse?” he said, confused. “He ain’t no killer.”

There was a moment while he listened to the reply.

“He confessed? That just don’t seem right,” Terry said, and he unlocked the door to the truck.

“I’m not datin’ her,” he said, looking over at me, blushing slightly. “Well, yes, I was at her house, but that-”

He looked at his phone and hung up.

“Well, according to my cousin, they arrested Jason Stackhouse this mornin’ for the murders. His girlfriend Amy is dead. Strangled too. He confessed.”

“You don’t think it could have been him?” I asked, pulling myself up into the passenger side of the truck. Amy. I had just met her, just talked to her at the party. It was hard to believe that she was dead now.

“I...don’t.” He shook his head. “There’s something off about this whole thing.”

I shrugged. It seemed like it was settled if he confessed.

“I’ll still come to Merlotte’s at dark,” I offered.

“Nah, I guess it’s alright. But if anything feels off, you call me, okay? Even if I’m workin’,” he said, and I made sure that I had his number in my phone.

He dropped me off at home, and I got my quilt and my sketchbook and laid in the shade of a large tombstone. It was nice and quiet, and I finally let myself unclench. It seemed like all this serial killer stuff was done now. I focused on my sketch for a long time, lost in the rhythm. I was in my element, my focus entirely on my art.

Suddenly, I heard shouting. I peeked my head around the tombstone to see who would be yelling like that in a place like this.

“Mind reading, vampire-fucking, freak bitch!” René was shouting, with no Cajun accent, punching Sookie in the face. He wrapped his hands around her throat. He was strangling her!

He was the killer!

I crouched low and looked around. What should I do? I couldn’t let him keep hurting her!

“Think you’re so smart! You smart now?” he yelled, and he was choking her. I was just going to have to tackle him. I was about to run out when the dog that I recognized as Sam was there. He jumped on René, biting him around the neck, forcing him to let go of Sookie. René’s hand found a little statue someone had placed at a grave, and he grabbed it and used it to knock Sam-the-dog off of him. Sookie wasn’t moving...I hoped she wasn’t dead. I crept a little closer.

René kicked Sam roughly in the ribs, and Sam fell unconscious and shifted back into human form.

“Fuck you! You fuckin’ freak fuck!” René said as he kicked Sam’s limp form.

I rushed forward. I didn’t know what I would do, but I couldn’t stand by and watch any longer. I saw a shovel, and snatched it up and used it to hit René in the back of the head. He went down, spitting up blood. I moved over to check if he would stay down, but he grabbed me by the leg and pulled me down.

Suddenly I was on the ground, and he was above me. He smacked me hard across the face, and I felt blood spew from my mouth.

Without hesitation, I brought the shovel up with as much strength as I had just as René was leaning in to try to strangle me. The shovel wedged into his body under his sternum. I felt the wooden handle beneath my hands as it slid into his body, the feeling of it, the push. His mouth poured blood on me. I was frozen in the moment, the shock, the horror, the pain, and for a moment, I felt an intense swelling of tumultuous rage and then...nothing. I reveled in the moment of nothingness. It was totally silent, an abyss. Blissfully empty. Then I felt disgusted with myself. What was wrong with me? I pushed René off of me, and I stood and looked down at him. The shovel was still protruding from his chest. His eyes were wide open and staring, glassy, and blank.

He was dead.

I sank to my knees.

I killed him.

Chapter Text

Chap 10

Eric’s POV - Monday, June 29th, 2009

I was pulled from my day rest by Jane’s fear, and then by her pain, and moments later, a deeply disturbing feeling.

What in the seven Hels was happening with her?! I tried to call her, but she didn’t answer. I got dressed and paced the nest restlessly. It was still hours until dark, and there was nothing I could do to assist her. I had to grab a rag and dab at my ears; the bleeds getting worse the longer I stayed up. Eventually, her pain was less but still lingering, and she had calmed slightly. She still felt odd, and I tried to call her again, and this time she answered.

“What has happened?” I asked.

“Well...I ...that is the killer...what I mean to say…” She tried to say a bunch of different ways, and her voice sounded soft and pained.

“Jane, just tell me,” I demanded.

“I killed a man,” she replied, she was calm, but it sounded like she was barely opening her mouth. “The strangler, the serial killer.”

“You...killed him?” I asked her, trying not to let surprise color my voice. This delicate little flower that didn’t even eat meat killed a man?

“Yeah. With a shovel in the graveyard. The killer was strangling Sookie,” she explained. I was impressed, my little Valkyrie indeed.

“He hurt you,” I stated, feeling her pain increase.

“He hit me across the face. I’m on the way to the hospital now,” she said, and I heard her talking through gritted teeth.

“Her jaw is broken, and she shouldn’t be talkin’,” a man’s voice said.

“I can tell your friend is taking you to the hospital. I will see you tonight.”

“Okay,” she murmured.

I hung up. Jane killed a man. I was surprised she was capable of such an act. I shouldn’t be, people were truly capable of almost anything, and I found myself thankful that she could defend herself, especially during the day when I wouldn’t have been able to help her. It was too late for me to try to get any day rest, so I went and checked emails and other work in my office. Once Pam was awake, I told her of my plan for the evening.

“I am going to see Jane at first dark,” I told her.

“I thought maybe you were bored with that one now,” she replied, sitting down on the couch with her warmed blood bad and flipping on her reality show that
seemed mostly to consist of rich women scheming and yelling at each other.

“She killed a man today,” I said as blandly as possible to see if I could get a reaction.

Pam turned away from the screen and stared at me. “That one that was stranglin’ the women?” she questioned after a moment.

“The very one.” I couldn’t help but grin slightly.

“Good for her.” She turned back to her program. “I wouldn’t have thought she’d have it in her.” That was high praise coming from Pam.

“She was injured. I will check on her and then come to the bar,” I explained, grabbing my black jacket and walking towards the door.

“The vermin will want to see you. What with being gone for a few nights,” she scolded.

Pausing to turn and stare at her, “You will be in charge of the baby,” I ordered her, and she looked at me like I had just told her to pull out her own fangs. Bill Compton’s fucking baby vamp was going to be a massive pain in the ass. But babysitting her for Bill seemed to be the best course of action. Of course, we had arrived late to the Tribunal and had to stand the whole time. Bill’s teary and long-winded goodbye with the sugary telepath wasn’t worth having to stand all fucking night while Magister went on and on.

The tribunal had been long and tedious, and I hated the Magister even more than usual. I had run-ins with him before… I tried not to think about those times. It shamed me to think of my human that he had killed, darling Rachel that gave herself up to protect me, that chose to die rather than be turned. Fuck… I turned my thoughts away from her and my hatred of the Magister.

The Magister didn’t even silver Bill in a coffin as I had hoped he would. Instead, he forced Bill to create a progeny to replace Longshadow and ordered Pam and I to make sure that she rose. The very next night, Bill brought her to us, unwilling (or perhaps incapable) of raising her well, the fool that he was. So we had taken on Bill’s newborn, partly because I wanted leverage over him and partly because he was such an idiot. I worried that he wouldn’t be able to handle the relatively weak creature he created.

“She needs constant supervision,” I told Pam sternly. Pam shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Fine, but you owe me,” Pam claimed.

“I’m leaving now,” I reported as it was full dark. Pam nodded me off absently, turning back to her reality TV show, and I punched the code in to release the door and flew out into the night. I could feel Jane through my drops of blood in her. She wasn’t in as much pain as before, but still some. She felt tired.

When I reached her house, I saw that Jane had left a light on, perhaps for me? I walked in and felt for her through the blood, feeling the pull originating from upstairs. Following the feeling, I climbed up the stairs and went to her bedroom. Jane was in the middle of a creaky antique bed, and a quilt had tucked gently around her. I could tell that it was her ‘friend’, the chef that placed the blanket around her by the scent. The thought that he may have seen her nude irked me, but I pushed the feeling aside for now. Jane’s eyes were open, and she was sitting up, watching me curiously. She had a bandage wrapped around her chin and the top of her head to hold a cold pack to her cheek. My first thought was that Jane looked rather adorable in this state, pouty and sweet. I then began to question my sanity again.

“How are you?” I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed, making the whole thing squeak in protest.

She got out her sketchbook and wrote in a small neat script.

Fine. I have a hairline fracture to my jaw. The doctor said not to talk for tonight and only eat liquid foods for the next few days.

“I see,” I told her, and I looked at the swelling of her face. Yes, I could believe it was broken. It was hard to see her this way, my failure so evident on her skin. I could not help but offer. “Let me heal you with the blood.”

No, thank you, I will be fine in a couple of weeks.

I was surprised by her answer. She knew what the blood could do, and yet she still refused it? I could feel her trying to distance herself from me in the blood, how she had smothered her joy at my presence. I had never had a steadfast refusal before, and I found myself at a complete loss. What was she? She was maddening! I didn’t understand her at all.

“How do you feel about killing a man?” I asked her instead, and I felt something strange in the blood. Pride, worry, guilt, and… a sense of rightness and relief.

Conflicted.

Her hand trembled slightly as she wrote.

Times were so different now. I had killed my first man in battle, and I had been expected to do so from a very young age. I had been trained to use an ax from when I was a boy and was given a proper blade at the age of twelve. Even as a human, my feelings about killing my enemies were not conflicted. During the time I had been made vampire killing humans was unavoidable. Survival had been paramount. Godric had prioritized it above almost all other things. We did not always know when we would be able to find humans, and we had to keep moving, lest they realize what we were. The only line Godric would never cross was to use his glamour to enslave humans to him, as many in that time had done.

In those early days, I hadn’t known Godric’s history, so it had confused me at first why he simply didn’t glamour humans to follow his orders, to feed us, and let us reside in their homes. Once he confided in me some of his past, his reasoning against enslavement made perfect, yet terrifying, sense.

Godric taught me the tightest control. I was never to be ruled by my emotions, including bloodlust. We never revelled in the killing, it was as strategic as battles had been in my human life, but there was certainly pleasure in it. The art of death, the skill of a well-executed plan that ended with blood flowing freely into my mouth, was one of un-life’s simple pleasures. It was the coolly calculated pleasure of success. It was not what so many vampires had come to do, the wild ecstasy of blood orgies, the total unleashing of the predator so that it ravaged and devoured anything in its path, fueled only by the need for blood and sex.

Godric said they would not survive, ruled so much by their animalistic drive. He, of course, was correct. Moderation was the modus operandi for Godric, and it still was today. Well, until he had started trying to fast within the last century.

My Maker had trained me well, and by following his logic, I had never felt conflicted about the death we brought with us. It was natural, predator and prey, the circle of life. We did not cause suffering, and when it became prudent, we stopped killing unless necessary. And there were times that it was essential. But as times changed, not killing became the best way to survive. Leaving a trail of bodies would draw more attention and suspicion from an already superstitious species.

Unknowingly, I had been sitting lost in thought, and Jane had scooted closer to me and laid her head on my lap, her puffy cheek facing out. I was stroking her soft hair, and she had melted into me. I could sense her through the blood, and Jane felt utterly at ease and safe. She was glad of my presence. She felt protected.

Emotions. They were the ever-present trigger for vampires. The more in control we were, the better served we would be. I had always had issues with my rage, and more often than not, it had triggered some of my more impulsive actions. I got lost in a memory from many centuries before.

“Rage is not the issue!” Godric had told me. His fury was quite evident. “It is how you act on it!”

I cowered before him. My anger got the better of me, and I beheaded a young and impudent but rather important vampire. Godric had been forced to clean up my mess. It had taken quite a lot of our wealth and some considerable political maneuvering. I was certain that we would not be allowed in the local Court for some time, centuries perhaps.

“You must learn to control your response to your emotions,” he demanded. “Learn what triggers you, learn alternatives for how to respond.” He paced, and he blasted me with his disappointment down the bond enough that I felt I would start to cry. I worshipped Godric, and feeling how much I had failed him was far worse than any physical blow he could give me.

“You cannot give in to the impulses of your emotions, or you will meet the true death,” he added, and then I felt his fear. True fear.

“Yes, Godric,” I told him in my most respectful and reverent tone. “Yes, Godric.”

I looked down at Jane, her eyes were closed, but she wasn’t asleep. Was I letting my emotions dictate my actions? Was I not thinking clearly when it came to her? Two decades ago, Sylvie had allowed me to do the same - to not take the threat of the Authority seriously. I was so infatuated with her, and my ego so inflated I thought that I was untouchable. I had failed to protect her, and now I had claimed this confusing human, so prone to injury, so fucking breakable.

“Eric?” Jane's voice was barely whispered.

“Yes?” I asked her.

“Why did you come?” If I didn’t have vampire hearing, I doubted that I would have been able to make out her words.

Why was I here? I had claimed her, and now she was hurt. I was here to see her, to offer her my blood, which she refused. I could have left - I had fulfilled my obligation to her, even if I had done quite a terrible job at protecting her so far. Why was I still lingering…?

What did I want from her? I couldn’t figure her out. I just didn’t understand her. She didn’t want my blood, despite having already had it and knowing how it would help her pain and how it would make her feel. She was deeply aroused by me but didn’t to want have sex with me. She liked to be bitten but didn’t seem to like that she enjoyed it. She didn’t trust easily, yet she trusted me not to hurt her. She wanted an emotional connection but then accepted it readily when I backed away from the feelings forming between us.

I realized what I wanted then. I wanted to solve the puzzle that was Jane. To turn the sides of the Rubik’s cube until all the colors lined up. I wanted to get in her head and figure out why she swam naked in rivers and drew pictures of things that once were beautiful. I wanted her to give me her body freely and without reserve and to let me bring her the most incredible heights of pleasure. I wanted to know her. She was a mystery. She was my personal riddle. I was going to solve her.

“I’m here because you’re mine,” I whispered to her, my voice unusually loud in the darkness of the room, and I felt my claim on her deeply. But she didn’t hear me; she had already fallen asleep. Her breath was coming in out in even little puffs between her plump lips. I brushed her hair back and examined her face. Her face looked even younger in her sleep. Almost childlike, angelic. I did care for her. She made it easy to do. I remembered my Maker’s teachings, and it wasn’t the feeling that I needed to be wary of - it was how I acted on it that would matter.

I just needed to not let the past repeat itself.

I would proceed with my original plan to meet with her and drink from her, and slowly I would figure her out. I just couldn’t let it become obvious to anyone other than her that I cared for her. I wouldn’t let myself go farther than care. It was too painful to consider otherwise.

Having figured out my intentions with her, I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and left. I flew to the club and scoffed at the reactions of the patrons as I walked in. The vermin were happy to have me back in their presence. Pam had dressed Jessica, Bill’s progeny, in vamp tramp clothing that the young redhead seemed to enjoy. Pam informed me that she had also taught Jessica how to bite, which I thought was especially noteworthy. A first bite was such a crucial moment, like a baby’s first steps or words. A strong Maker would teach their progeny how to bite and how to feed. For Bill to pass up these moments with his first and only progeny… it was almost unthinkable. However, it was evident that he didn’t understand anything.

Idiot.

“Sheriff,” Chow said, indicating something was going on. We went back to my office. I closed the door and gestured for him to sit.

“I was checking in with all the local vamps, making sure they had the new mandates issued by the Queen.” I suppressed my eye roll. In a desperate ploy to add more to her personal wealth, Sophie-Ann increased the taxes on every vampire. “And there was one missing. Eddie Fournier.”

I had grave concerns about Mr. Fournier. He had paid to be turned, and his Maker had only taught him the most basic of skills. When he had stood before me, he had shaken and stammered, and I would not be surprised if he ended up staking himself.

“Missing?” I inquired.

“Taken, there were signs of a struggle.”

I thought about that. Drainers had become a real issue—parasitic cretins.

“I was digging into his history, and well. I thought you would want to see this.” He pulled out a laptop computer and turned the screen toward me. Emails between Mr. Fournier and another man. A V dealer. The lewd details of the emails had my eyebrows hiking in surprise. It always was the quiet ones. Mr. Fournier had been giving this man his blood in exchange for sex. It was clear his Maker had not informed him what so many blood ties to so many humans would do to him.

“Bring this man, Layfayette Reynolds, in. We’ll need to at least hold him for two weeks on the V dealing charges,” I ordered, as is mandated for our region. “Ask him about Mr.Fournier.”

“You got it, boss,” Chow said, and I could see he liked his new role as investigator and enforcer.

He exited the office.

At least I didn’t have to worry about being raided by the police anymore while holding a V dealer in the cells. The AVL lawyers had seen to that.

My next move was to call Godric. I wondered if he had any vampires missing in his area.

“Hello, Eric,” Godric said, and I could tell from his tone that he was pleased that I had called.

“What did I just get you out of?” I asked.

“A rather boring meeting.”

I grinned; Godric was terrible at meetings.

“I have a vampire in my Area that appears to have been taken.”

“Drainers?” he asked, and I heard his footsteps walking through his nest.

“It appears so. Is that a problem in Dallas?” I inquired, propping my feet on the desk.

“More so now than ever. We also have the Fellowship of the Sun here in Dallas, and they have been trying, so far failing, to capture a vampire for weeks.”

“The anti-vampire church? As if they could,” I scoffed.

“Do not underestimate them. They are fueled by hatred,” Godric warned me sternly. “And they are not wrong to fear us.”

I sighed. “Yes, Godric.”

“How is your human?” he inquired. He was always anxious when I had a claimed human. He had imparted to me a sense of honor about claiming. A duty to those that you consider your own. And I hadn’t had the best track record with the humans that I had claimed.

“Injured again. She refused my blood. I do not understand her at all,” I told Godric honestly. He was the only one that I would reveal my true intentions with.

“She refused?” he asked, surprised. “How severely was she injured?”

“A fracture to her mandible. She can barely speak.”

“How did you let this occur? She is under your protection!” Godric thundered, and I was thankful that I was not physically in his presence, feeling the strength of his power. “You should not claim if you cannot handle the responsibility.”

“It was daylight. She killed the man that hurt her. The one that had been strangling women,” I explained.

There was silence on the other end.

“How did she kill him? A gun?” Godric asked. Godric hated guns. He said it allowed one to separate themselves from the act—the simple pull of a trigger to end a life.

“A shovel,” I replied.

“A shovel,” he repeated blankly.

“I do not know the details. As I said, her jaw is broken.”

“She refused the blood, with a broken jaw?” he asked, tone perplexed, and I could tell he was struggling to believe it. “She already had your blood once as well…” He was coming to the same conclusions about her as I had. She was a mystery. “Eric, be wary of this human.”

Wary? Of Jane?

“What are you thinking, Godric?”

“I do not understand her motivation,” he replied.

“She’s an enigma.”

“You’re going to figure her out,” he said with a sigh, realizing my plan.

“I am.”

*****

Jane’s POV - Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

I woke the next day to find my jaw absolutely aching, and the only sign that Eric had truly been there was the words I wrote to him in my notebook. I shrugged off his visit. It didn’t mean anything. He was probably just being polite. I was going to keep my feelings for him to a minimum.

My pain medication said that I had to take it with food, so I went and made a smoothie in my blender—liquid diet for a few days, and then soft foods after that. I took my pain pill and put an ice pack on my face. I laid on the couch. There was a knock at my door.

I held the ice pack to my face, and I was surprised to see Arlene at my door. She had wilted flowers and mascara stains running down her face. I gestured her in.

“I’m so so sorry,” she sobbed to me, voice hoarse and rough from what was probably a long night of crying.

I nodded. I really didn't want to have to speak.

“I had no idea. None! Renè, he never…” She started crying, and I just hugged her. Renè had betrayed her trust, and it was heartbreaking to see.

“I have a fracture to my jaw, so I can't really speak,” I whispered into her hair.

She nodded.

“I… I understand. Why did you did what you had to do,” she told me.

My breath hitched. I killed her fiance. He was a murder and a liar, but I’m sure that she had loved him. She hadn’t known.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and we both cried together.

Finally, we broke apart, and we both laughed a little, if only at how uncomfortable we are.

“How are Coby and Lisa?” I asked through my teeth.

“They’re...they don’t understand.” She shook her head. “It’s gonna take time.”

I nodded. Jesus. Those poor kids.

“Well, despite all this, I still have to go to work,” she said, standing and wiping her face on her sleeve. “You come in, and we’ll make up something that you can drink through a straw,” she ordered, and I smiled weakly.

We hugged again, and then she left.

I laid back down on the couch, feeling exhausted from crying. I killed someone.

I killed someone.

Why had Rene, or I guess based on what Sookie had told me, Drew, have so much hate in him? Couldn’t he have been helped? I didn’t think that anyone was beyond redemption. People just needed someone with the skills to help them detangle their demons. They needed mental health services. Sookie had explained to me that he had killed his own sister once she had become involved with vampires, and then he moved here and started doing the same thing, only with a false accent and a fake name. For him to go and kill his sister… He must have had some severe trauma. He was a damaged man, not a sociopath.

No, I didn’t believe that he deserved what I did to him. He could have gotten help, therapy, and counseling. It may have taken a long time. Maybe he had a chemical imbalance as well. It wasn’t like I thought he was innocent. But I didn’t believe in capital punishment, and I didn’t think that it made our society a better place just to lock people up.

Then I thought how relieved I felt, knowing that he wasn’t out there anymore, that I wasn’t going to be worried all the time, up every night, waiting for him to try to kill me. I was a little proud of how I defended myself and that I was able to save Sam and Sookie from also being killed. I still didn’t know if I had done the right thing.

Could killing someone ever really be considered the right thing to do?

It was too late now. The Sheriff already told me that I wouldn't even be brought before a judge on self-defense or manslaughter charges and that I had done the whole parish a great service. I felt nauseated, and I hoped that my smoothie would stay down.

I got out my sketchbook, and I flipped past the page that I used to chat with Eric last night. I opened a fresh blank one, and my hand started sketching without me even deciding. It was as if I knew I had to get it out of my head and on the page. I got caught in what Hungarian-American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called flow. I lost all sense of time and was utterly lost in focus on my work. I didn’t even realize how much time had passed until someone was knocking at my door.

Startled, I got up and went to the door to find Terry there, holding a cup with a straw in it for me.

“I know you don’t drink milk, so I used a can of coconut milk,” he said, handing it to me as I let him in. “It’s a strawberry milkshake.”

We went into the living room, and I gestured for him to sit on the couch. And I moved my sketchbook away, but he had already seen what I had been drawing.

The shovel. A perfect replica of my murder weapon.

Terry looked at me with eyes that had seen too much, that had done too much.

“Hey,” he said. “I know how you feel.”

I knew if anyone would, it would be Terry.

“It kind of makes you feel like that’s all that you are. That you’re just the sum of that one thing, you did. But you've gotta know that you’re still capable of goodness and heartbreak and generosity of spirit. And if you can cling to that with everything you got, you're gonna be alright,” he told me kindly.

I felt myself tear up.

Terry hugged me, and we both cried. He had been through so much.

“You’re a good person Terry Bellefleur,” I sniffled at him when he pulled away.

“It takes one to know one,” he replied, and I smiled. “I’ll let you rest. Be careful with your pain meds. Only take ‘em if you have to,” he warned me. I wondered if that might have been a problem for people he knew.

I nodded vigorously, trying not to talk.

He left, and as I shut the door behind him, I was surprised to see that it was dark. I grabbed my phone only to see that it was already quite late and that I had a couple of text messages. One was from Terry, saying that he was bringing me the milkshake. I sipped it and found it sweet and delicious. The next text was from Eric.

May I visit you tonight?

That surprised me a bit. I was mostly under the impression that Eric was going to back away slowly, that he would simply fade away. That my connection to him would be like a poorly preserved ink poem. The letters would smudge, the sun would bleach the paper, and then the words our association would no longer be legible. They would have no meaning, no art. Just someone that I had once known.

I looked at the message again. Perhaps it was out of some sort of duty. I decided that I wanted to see Eric, if only to figure out where I stood with him.

Yes.

My reply was simple, and I decided that I wouldn’t add anything to it. I went upstairs to my room and showered and changed into my cotton panties and my nightgown. Looking in the mirror, my cheek was still swollen up, and I looked a little like a chipmunk trying to hide a nut. I went downstairs and finished my milkshake and then iced my cheek some more.

Eric breezed in, not bothering to knock.

“How are you?” he asked. “Your pain seems high.” I held up my bottle of pills and shook them at him. He took it from me and examined the label. “How many have you taken today?” he asked.

I held up one finger.

“How long ago?” He was his usual high-handed self.

“This morning,” I tried to grit out, and it hurt.

“You should take another one,” he ordered me, and he went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water for me and brought it back. He handed me the water and the pill. I hesitated, thinking about what Terry said. I didn’t want to be addicted to painkillers.

“I can feel your pain. You should take it,” he urged me as if he could read my thoughts. “It’s only been one day.”

That was true. I filled my mouth with water and pushed the pill between my lips to swallow it without choking on it.

“I’ve never seen a human take a pill that way. They usually put the pill in and then swallow the water,” he told me, and I saw him eyeing me strangely.

I shrugged.

Then Eric noticed the shovel drawing.

“This is what you used to kill the man?” he asked, and I saw a glimmer of pride on his face.

I nodded again.

“Can you tell me how?” he wondered softly, and he began to build a fire in the fireplace.

I regaled him on what happened in barely a whisper. I told Eric how I shoved the shovel up under Drew’s ribs as he had tried to strangle me. How I hadn’t even thought about it, I just reacted. How his blood had spilled over my face and how I saw his eyes go glassy and empty with death.

I felt so fuzzy that I also admitted to him my feelings about it.

“I liked it. I liked the feeling.” I looked at his icy eyes. What was it about those eyes? Like he had an entire ocean living inside him.

“He had been trying to kill you. It is reasonable to feel relieved that he is dead.”

He didn’t understand. I couldn’t explain it any better.

He and I both stared into the fire for a long time after that. I felt the painkillers working and went laid on the floor with him, nuzzling my face into him for the sheer sensation of it.

“What little kitten you’ve become,” he told me, amused.

“I’m not your pet,” I murmured. “You just feel nice.”

He chuckled, and the sound rumbled through me.

“Why are you here? Do you want my blood?” I whispered. I couldn’t help but be glad that he was here, even if I didn’t really understand why he was.

“Always,” he replied. “But I’ve decided that I’m going to figure you out.”

“Figure me out? Like I’m a riddle?” My question echoed around us.

“Exactly.” He looked at me then, and the intensity of his gaze made me feel like he was staring into my soul.

I looked away and into the fire. I could still feel his eyes on me; the depth of his stare felt like embers were burning beneath my skin.

“I’m an open book,” I whispered to the flames.

“Written in a language I can’t read, just yet.”

His voice had a lilt of an old-world accent just then, and I wondered how many languages he knew, how many he had forgotten.

“What will you do when you solve the riddle?” I asked. I wasn’t sure that I liked the idea that this was all just a game to him.

“I will take you to my Maker,” he said slowly, and I wondered if he hadn’t really thought through what he would do when he figured me out. “And I will see if I truly did.”

“Your Maker?” I questioned.

I saw Eric smile, a genuine real honest smile, one of love, and he had never looked more handsome to me. I had to look away from the sheer beauty of him. It made me repress my budding feelings to a deep recess of my mind.

“He made me vampire. He is the only one that I would trust to determine if I truly understand a creature as mysterious and beautiful as you.”

I scoffed.

“You don’t think you’re mysterious and beautiful?” he said with surprise, his expression that of wonder.

“I’m cute,” I told him. “Maybe pretty when I try. And I’m not a mystery - I’m very simple, plain Jane.”

He shook his head. “See, I have even more work to do. I don’t even understand how you can’t see that you’re absolutely stunning.”

“What will you do if your Maker says that you’ve succeeded in solving your riddle?” I asked him, still pressing to figure him out.

“It will take a lot for him to agree. My Maker is difficult to impress. You...remind me of him. Sometimes,” he said, and the way he said it made me feel like it was the highest compliment that he could pay me.

“In what way?” I inquired, trying to see what he saw. I wondered why he thought that I was such a mystery.

“My Maker, like you...He sees everything and everyone except for himself.”

“I see myself, I live in my own head, in my own world,” I admitted, more to myself than to him.

“He’s like that as well, all philosophy and thinking,” Eric said this as if it was a complaint.

“You didn’t answer my question. When you’ve solved me, then what will you do?”

He stared at me hard. “I don’t know. I would like to say that I hope we would be...friends still, but your life is very fleeting. I cannot promise you more than that.”

I swallowed. His answer was very honest, and I appreciated that.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Okay?” He furrowed his brow at me. “That’s all?”

“Yeah. What else would I say?” I was confused.

“Most humans would not be pleased with that answer. They would want a harder promise of a future. Perhaps they would even want to be turned.”

That hadn’t even occurred to me. I was just glad that he had even thought that he would stay on good terms with me, that he wouldn’t disappear on the page before me. I didn’t want our time to be written in invisible ink; I wanted him to remember me. I wanted him to tell some other person in a century or so how he had once had a friend named Jane.

“It didn’t even cross my mind,” I told him.

“Hmm..and you think you're not a mystery.”

I shrugged. “I’m just me.” I laid on my side and snuggled closer to him, and he put his arm around me. He felt so good pressed against me. My arousal soared as he stroked my side, and I knew he could feel it because he continued to repeat the movement, his large hand skimming from my shoulder down my waist and stopping at my hip only to start again.

“You like it when I touch you.” His voice was husky against the shell of my ear. “Tell me why.”

“It feels nice,” I replied. “I like the feel of your large hand on my body.”

“Hmm..” He rumbled, his hand stopping at my hip and threatening to go lower toward my backside. I didn't stop him. He cupped the fleshy skin of my buttock in his hand and groaned into my shoulder. I arched back into his hand, pressing myself against him more firmly. It felt taboo somehow. “Gods, this ass,” he growled and kneaded my flesh. “I want to bite it.” I felt myself clench at the idea, the hot spark of arousal making me tremble against him. “You like that idea. A lot,” he said, pleased.

“It’s...very arousing.” My throat felt so dry, and my words escaped through my barely opened lips.

“Would you let me if I asked?” he whispered back, and I shook my head. “Of course not,” he sighed and continued to palm my skin. “Why won’t you let yourself take what you want?”

“This is what I want — lying here in front of the fire, letting you touch me and whisper naughty things in my ear. This is exactly what I want,” I told him my pain meds made me brave, and he groaned again.

“You confound me, woman,” he said, and he took his hand off of my backside and trailed it up the curve up my waist and hip. He lingered on my ribs, and I could tell he wanted to cup my breast now. “Do you want me to touch you here?” he asked, his hand almost skimming my breast.

“Oh…” I breathed in. “Yes, please,” I said, and he lifted my breast in his hand, only the thin fabric of my nightgown separating his cool hand from my soft, warm flesh. He stroked at my nipple, where it turned to stone under the fabric. It felt wonderful; the motion shooting jolts of pleasure straight to my core.

“You’re so sensitive. I could probably make you come from just touching your breasts,” he said, and his breath felt hot against my ear. I thought of how I came from just the pressure on my nipple and the bite of my vampire, and I nodded against him. I heard him say something with the tone of profanity in his ancient language. “May I try it? I want to see you come undone,” he asked me, and as I was considering it his phone rang.

Eric swore and answered it. “This better be fucking important!” he snarled and got up from the floor. He listened for a moment and then swore again. “Yes. I’m leaving now,” he said, and he hung up.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, still barely opening my lips.

“Politics. I have to prepare for a visit from the Queen,” he said he offered me a hand up.

“The Queen of England?” I asked as he pulled me to my feet, and he laughed.

“The Vampire Queen of Louisiana,” he explained kindly. “She’s very annoying and important.”

I nodded. “So, I won’t see you tomorrow?”

He shook his head. “Most likely not. She is very time-consuming.”

“Would you like to drink from me?” I asked, wondering if he needed my blood.

His eyes went dark. “I would, but I cannot,” he replied. “Your blood is laced with painkillers, and I will need a clear head tonight.”

That was interesting. I hadn't realized that vampires would be impacted by what was in the blood. So many people took all kinds of drugs these days, prescription and otherwise. It made me appreciate how hard it must be for him.

“I can see you're curious about that, and I will tell you more next time, but I must leave.” He turned. “A kiss, perhaps, before I go?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to run away again,” I told him. “I can’t help what I feel.”

“I won’t,” he promised. “You’ve hooked me too hard with your enigma and sweet curves.”

I rolled my eyes at him. What a deflection if I ever heard one.

“Careful of my jaw,” I murmured, and he pressed his lips to mine lightly, but it sent shudders all the way down my spine.

He took a deep breath. “Your mouth is addictive,” he told me, those blue eyes feeling like a knife pinning me in place. “Every time I kiss you, I want to do it again.”

“I like it far too much as well,” I said softly. He turned to leave, and I stopped him by grabbing his hand. “Eric...when will you be done with meetings tonight?” I asked, trying not to move my mouth too much.

“Oh, love. I have left you wanting, haven’t I? I should be done by four, I’ll text you, and you can rub yourself in those little light circles all you want,” he told me seductively.

I blushed, and Eric kissed the heat of my cheeks, muttering something that sounded like, “Absolutely maddening,” before he flew off into the night.

Chapter Text

Chap 11

Eric’s POV - Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

Queen Sophie-Ann was sitting on my throne, and I was trying very hard not to kill her. I could do so easily, I mused, and then I had to remember that I would be forced to rule Louisiana if I killed her. That was something I absolutely did not want to do. The paperwork, the responsibility, the death threats, the Authority constantly breathing down my neck...not to mention that I would have to live in New Orleans or try to move the entire court.

No, best to let her ramble on. She wiped invisible dust off her ridiculous pure white suit and shook her red curls as she elaborated on her situation’s unfairness. The Queen’s monetary woes were nothing new, and she was loathed by her subjects for her outrageous taxing of both public and private wealth. Well, the wealth that she knew about anyway. I had moved a lot of my personal holdings to Godric’s name so that I could shield the majority of my fortune from her.

She was once again demanding that we increase profits. I had shown her how well Fangtasia was doing and how our new marketing schemes, including Pam’s favorite ‘ladies night,’ generated more revenue. I even explained to her our plan to lure in even more clients for our Red, White, and Blood Fourth of July Bash, but it was never good enough for petulantly childish Sophie-Ann. I looked at the sketch that Jane had drawn of me, now framed and hung above the bar. Perhaps I could ask her to do some more, and we could have prints made and add them to the gift shop area. Her work was too classic and realistic; it didn’t fit with the over-top tawdriness. I wondered if Jane would be offended by the idea of caricatures.

“So see, to pay these ridiculous back taxes and also have my day room completed, I need more money!” the Queen yelled, finally ending her tirade, and I nodded.

“I understand, your Majesty. Perhaps we can think of more business ventures that are profitable to raise additional funds,” I suggested, thinking of the art.

She ruminated on this, and I saw her eyes glittering greedily. Godric wouldn’t be able to stand her. He had no patience for fools, but his unwillingness to ascend to the role of a monarch tempered his behavior, as it did mine. Luckily, Godric’s Queen was wise enough never to pester Godric with much and was just pleased to have one of the oldest and strongest vampires running one of the country’s most difficult cities. After all, the vampires of Dallas embraced the wild west culture, and he constantly had to put underlings in their place. The humans were just as bad, inciting violence against vampires at every turn.

“That’s an excellent idea, Mr. Northman. We’ll think about it and come up with a lucrative concept, I’m sure,” the Queen stated and finally got her ass off of my throne.

“It was a pleasure to host you, my Queen,” I lied. “Did you enjoy your hunt?” She had spent quite some time in the back with a young woman she had found.

“Quite.” She paused and turned her head at me curiously. “I heard that you claimed a human, and I thought it must be a rumor. Eric Northman does not keep pets.”

I wondered where she had heard this rumor, and I knew then that I most certainly had a spy. Bill Compton sprang to mind immediately.

“I have claimed a human. She’s most amusing and delicious,” I said, knowing it would be pointless to deny it.

“My, my, that is interesting,” the Queen said idly, and she moved toward the exit. “I’ll come to call in a couple of weeks, have some ideas for me then,” she demanded, and then she was gone.

I sank into my chair and reeked of her and her expensive cloying perfume. I would need to get it professionally cleaned. I sighed and checked my watch; it was already quite late. I checked the receipts for the night and then locked down the bar. I had less than an hour before dawn, and I did not want to get stuck in my emergency coffin in the back. I listened at the door of the basement. The humans that I had in the holding cells were all asleep. I did not like having so many, four now, but one was the V dealer that may have had something to do with Eddie Fournier’s disappearance. Two were suspected drainers, and I was still waiting to hear from the Authority what they wanted me to do with them. The last one was a pet that had staked a vampire during his day rest. It seemed as if there was some dissent amongst the members of the Authority with what to do with this human pet, and in the meantime, she was stuck in my cells. It wasn’t pleasant, but Chow seemed to get a kick out of pushing their meals through slats of the bars.

My flight home was quick, and I was surprised to see Pam still up. Her latest pet, Dana, was curled on the couch next to her, and they were watching a fashion show.

“Pam,” I greeted her.

“How was the Queen?” Pam asked idly, playing with Dana’s hair.

“As expected, where’s Red?”

An annoyed expression crossed my childe’s face. “She dropped unprovoked fang at Dana, so I locked her in a coffin in the spare room.”

“She lacks control. Bill starting her on Tru Blood certainly didn’t do her any favors.” I looked at the brunette lying in Pam’s lap. “Is she alright?”

“I’m fine. Pam here made sure of that,” Dana said with obvious innuendo.

“Very well. I will discipline Jessica more tomorrow,” I said, and Pam grinned, pleased that Jessica would be punished for her misbehavior. “I’m going to warm a blood and go to ground.”

Pam looked at me strangely again. I didn’t usually have so much bagged blood. My fangs were achy, I wanted to sink them into something warm, preferably Jane’s quivering thigh, but I hadn’t even had time to consider it tonight. I found a pouch of AB negative and rejoiced internally. It wouldn’t be Jane, but it would certainly help.

When my bagged blood was warm, I went down to my room and laid on my bed. I felt out to my blood in Jane, and I was surprised to find her awake. I glanced at the time; it was nearly dawn. What was she doing still awake? She felt content and relaxed. I decided to call her to see if she would answer.

“Hello,” her soft voice answered. I heard a splashing sound.

“What are you doing?” I asked, hoping that she was not swimming nude outside by herself again.

“I’m in the bath,” she sighed. “I have an amazing huge bathtub.”

Jane in the bath. That was quite an image.

“You’re up quite late,” I stated.

“I’ve been sleeping in too late. It’s a bad cycle,” she murmured, and I could tell she wasn’t opening her mouth much. “What are you doing?”

“I’m drinking a blood in bed. It’s close to dawn.”

“Oh,” she replied. “Is it good?” she asked, and it was such a funny question from her. Gods, she was weird. I loved it.

“It’s AB negative, so that helps,” I replied

“Is that your favorite type?” she wondered.

“Yes. Whoever this was from doesn’t eat as well as you, and they’re on some sort of hormonal birth control,” I explained.

“I don’t take any medications, and I take B 12 vitamins,” she said. “I only took half a pain pill this morning and the other half this evening.”

“I knew that you didn’t take any medications, and it’s wise to take B12 vitamins. You may consider an iron supplement. I think you are too concerned about the painkillers. You don’t have an addictive personality.”

I heard the water splash again. “I just want to be done taking them.”

“Why?” I inquired, trying not to focus on the fact that she was nude and speaking with me.

“There’s a lot of reasons.”

“Other than the unlikely possibility of you becoming a drug addict, why else?”

She mumbled something.

“Speak up, darling,” I told her.

“I want you to feed from me again. I miss your bite,” she admitted. I felt her embarrassment through the blood.

Ah. She thought I wouldn’t feed from her with the painkillers in her system. She wanted my bite. Gods...that was sexy to hear.

“You do, do you? You miss my fangs against your thigh?” I asked and felt her arousal climb. “You want me to sink them into you? To pull your delicious blood into me?”

“Oh...yes,” she said and could almost hear her heartbeat pounding through the phone.

“You can still take the painkillers, and I can feed from you. It would just have to be here at the nest where it is secure,” I went on. “It wouldn’t be wise for me to fly or drive back to Shreveport with it in my system, and I’m not going to stay in the poorly concealed hole that your ancestor was using. It was a wonder no one came and staked him in his day rest.”

“The drugs would affect you the same way they would a human?” she inquired, and curiosity laced her voice.

“Similarly, other types of drugs and alcohol as well. It is particularly dangerous for humans to be fed from when they are very intoxicated as alcohol thins their blood, and the more the vampire drinks from them, the less control they have. It is one of the many reasons feeding is forbidden on the premises at Fangtasia.” I finished the donor blood and placed the bag in my biohazard trash can.

“I imagine some vampires seek that out,” she guessed correctly.

“Vampires that consume blood laced with illicit substances often perish. Too high to defend themselves, too slow, or so out of it, they meet the sun. It is a hazardous recreation.” Godric had forbidden me when I was young from having anything more than alcohol-laced blood, and even then, he was still wary. He had long ago released any such commands on me, but the message was clear.

“That makes sense,” she yawned. I heard her pull the plug on the drain. “I’m going to go to bed.”

“May I visit you tomorrow?” I asked. “I can come early. I’m not due at Fangtasia until late evening.”

“That should be fine. All I’m doing tomorrow is going fishing with my friend Terry, although I don’t plan to fish. I plan to draw,” she explained. Terry must be the chef, the one that had seen her naked body. I was already suspicious of him.

“Very well. I will come at dark to see you then.”

I heard her smile through the phone, and a little wave of warmth came through the blood.

“Goodnight, Eric,” she said softly.

“Sweet dreams,” I replied, and then we hung up.

I thought about her wanting my bite. I easily spun a fantasy of having her here, feeding from her, hearing her beg for my fangs. Her begging for more...

Perhaps I could convince her to spend her evening with me, come with me to Fangtasia tomorrow. I would have to close, but then we could come back to the nest. I texted my day man to get some more of her organic vegan food, particularly soft things for her healing jaw. He would leave them at the lockbox by the gate. I thought of what I would want most to taste in Jane’s clean blood. I grinned to myself, feeling like a human, ordering dinner.

Yes, yes, the mystery that was Jane was the perfect entertainment.

Before the sun pushed me under, my last thought was that perhaps I didn’t truly want to solve her at all.

That maybe, some things were just meant to be mysteries.

*****

Jane’s POV - Thursday, July 2nd & Friday, July 3rd, 2009

It was early evening, the sky was turning a beautiful burnt orange color around us, and Terry and I were in his boat. He had his line in the water, and I had my sketchbook out. Terry had already caught several fish and had thrown them all back out of respect for me. I had told him it wasn’t necessary, but he had insisted. I had been working on a sketch of him without his knowledge, and it made me smile. My sweet friend - he had been through a lot, and I could tell that people didn’t quite get him, but I did.

Terry wanted peace. He wanted people just to accept him, and he didn’t want to feel pressured or stressed. He and I were alike that way, and we could sit comfortably in silence for a long time.

“I got Big John to make vegetable soup,” he told me quietly. “Let’s stop and get you a big container of it to take home for dinner.”

I nodded, and he started packing up his fishing equipment, and I put my notebook away. I didn’t know how Terry would feel about me sketching him. He was a pretty modest person, and I think it would make him feel uncomfortable. He steered the boat through the water slowly, and I appreciated how he did that. We didn’t disturb any of the animals that lived there, and it was like we were a big gator ourselves moving slowly through the water. When we reached the dock, he helped me out and then did the complicated work of hooking the boat up to his truck. He did it speedily with ease, and I hopped in the passenger seat.

Merlotte’s was packed when we pulled in, and I was glad we weren’t going to stay. When we walked in, everyone stopped talking, and then seconds later, whispers erupted everywhere. I only caught bits and pieces of what they were saying.

“She’s the one that killed-” I heard a woman whisper.

“I heard it was with a shovel…” The low voice of a man.

“Looks too sweet to be dangerous,” a young man told his friend.

Terry put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, and the noise ratcheted higher.

“Hey, Sam. Can we get a container of that veggie soup for Jane to go?” Terry asked him.

Sam looked at me, and I could see a bit of fear in his eyes. Because I killed a man with a shovel or because I knew he could turn into a dog?

“Sure thing. I’ll put that in now,” he called out as he wrote it on a ticket. “We’re short-staffed. Sookie’s out still, no Amy. I really should have four waitresses and a hostess,” he explained.

I thought about how I needed a summer job. I wondered if I should apply here and discarded the idea quickly. I should probably talk like a normal person before I start trying to find a job.

“Hey, wasn’t Layfette supposed to be workin’ tonight?” Terry asked, looking into the kitchen.

“Yeah, he didn’t show. I called and everything. Big John is pullin’ a double.”

“Huh,” Terry said, his brow wrinkled in concern.

Arlene came out and handed me my soup, and I went to pay, but Sam insisted it was on the house.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

The noise, which had calmed down from a roar to a background murmur while we waited, ticked up a notch when Sam gave me the soup on the house. Terry put his hand back on my shoulder and steered me out, and the noise rose even higher.

“Don’t listen to people. They won’t get it,” Terry told me, his jaw tight with anger.

I nodded at him, unsure what to think about my newfound infamy.

Terry drove me home, the windows of the truck rolled down. Darkness had fallen, and I looked out into the navy blue velvety night, the cooling breeze blowing across my skin. I closed my eyes, and I just felt the moment. I loved the country. I belonged here. I never realized how oppressive the city had felt until I was out here. I opened my eyes when Terry pulled up my gravel driveway, and he looked over at me with his strange intensity.

“You did what you had to do. Those folks, the ones that are judgin’ you, they ain’t ever had to live through that kind of thing before,” he said this with the confidence of a person who had done hard things.

“I.. don’t feel like I even made a choice, it just.. It all happened so fast,” I stated softly and swallowed.

He stared out the front windshield for a moment.

“Be glad you didn’t have to choose.”

Terry was haunted by the things he had seen and done, and he lived his life with those ghosts right on the periphery of his mind. I pulled his large calloused hand into mine, and we sat in the truck awhile longer. He had the hands of a man who worked hard and a healed shiny burn from working in a kitchen. I had never felt more grateful to have made a friend. Our hands clasped together made me feel strong and brave in a way that I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do alone.

Terry slid his hand away from mine and smiled at me, and I smiled back.

“Goodnight, Jane.”

I got out of the truck and waved goodbye to Terry.

“Night,” I whispered to him, and he drove away. I went inside and attacked my soup. I got about halfway through and decided to take a pain pill. I had tried not to take one at all, but I wasn’t going to make it. As I pushed the pill into my water-filled mouth, Eric walked through the door.

“Good,” Eric said when he saw I was taking the pill. “I was going to insist.” Then he came and sniffed my arm and my hand where Terry had touched me. Eric looked as if he would growl, his eyes narrowed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his possessive vampire behavior.

“Sorry. I haven’t had time to shower yet,” I whispered to him. “I was trying to eat.”

Eric looked at me and then at the food.

“Feed first,” he said, and I felt like it was hard for him. He paced the entire time, and I didn’t see him breathe at all. I finished my soup, and I went quickly upstairs and jumped in the shower, and washed with the harsh green soap. I found that if I used my rosehip lotion after, it wasn’t so stripping.

I put on a comfy cotton dress and went downstairs to find Eric looking at my sketchbook, and my heart nearly stopped.

Eric was just about to turn the page and see my sketch of my silver-eyed vampire friend. If he nearly growled at me when merely Terry touched my shoulder, I had no idea how he would react to my mysterious vampire. It felt like he was scouring through my diary; I was furious and intensely offended.

“This is private!” I hissed at him, and he recoiled. I snatched my sketchbook from his hands immediately.

A strange moment passed between us, and then Eric kneeled before me. He could feel my extreme upset through the blood! I had never seen him look so docile.

“I apologize. I did not think. I did not know. I did not mean to breach your trust.” His apology was so sincere, and I couldn’t stay angry in the face of his genuine apology. Eric hadn’t meant to. He didn’t realize it was the equivalent of a diary for me.

“I forgive you,” I said softly. “It’s just very personal.”

“Can I ask about one?” he asked softly, standing back up and pointing to one of the already opened pages. “This one here.” It was the half-finished one of him. It was his chin and face shape.

“I started sketching you again after you asked me to be yours. I...didn’t realize I was doing it.”

He nodded, and that smirk of his curled the corners of his lips. I shook my head at him; so arrogant.

“The most recent sketch is your...friend,” he stated as if he doubted that Terry just wanted to be my friend.

“I always sketch my friends,” I replied. “Or people I find interesting.”

He nodded. Eric came and sniffed me, and I relaxed against him. I was feeling the pain pill working, and I felt a little boneless. Noticing this, he scooped me up and held me in his lap on the couch. He nuzzled my neck, and I felt like he was scenting me again.

“Would you like to come with me tonight? I have to put in some time at the club, and then we could go back to the nest?” he inquired, and I looked up at him from my position in his lap.

“Is this so you can bite me?” I asked and unconsciously licked my lips.

“Yes, and I enjoy your company.”

I thought about it. It wasn’t like I had anywhere to go. I wouldn’t be able to come back until the following evening, but that would be okay.

“I need to pack a bag,” I said. Eric grinned, visibly pleased that I had agreed to come with him. I tried to get up, but he insisted on carrying me. He zipped me into my room and placed me on the bed.

“Where are your bags?” Eric asked, and I pointed to the closet.

“You only have three bags?” he asked in a tone of disbelief, holding up the backpack I used for college, my purse, and my big art teacher's supply bag.

“Yes, I’ll just use my backpack,” I stated firmly and pointed to it.

He dumped my other two bags on the floor, the contents of my purse spilling out. He scooped up the miscellaneous things that had spilled and put them on the bed next to me so I could sort them out properly.

“Pam has many, many bags,” he told me. “And shoes.”

Eric went back to look in my closet. I didn’t like to go shoe shopping. I had small wide feet, which made it difficult. “You don’t have many shoes either.”

I shrugged, pulling all the things out of my purse - my lotion, lip balm, my hammer necklace, a bunch of old receipts, and a random broken hairband.

“What shall I pack first?” Eric asked eagerly like this was an adventure for him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Eric rifling through my things.

“Pajama shirt.” I pointed to the drawer as I packed lotion and lip balm back into my purse. Eric opened it up and dug through until he found a soft, worn one with a pun on it that I loved.

“Pandamonium,” he sounded out. Eric laughed at the graphic of the little pandas running wild on the front, he folded that into the bag. It was clear to me that he liked puns, and I understood that naming the club Fangtasia was not just for the tourists.

“What now?” He turned back to me.

“Clothes for tomorrow. It’s going to be warm again.” As he went to my closet, I put my hammer necklace in my jewelry box and then sat back down on my bed. Eric emerged from the closet with a white cotton a-line dress and another flower-printed one.

“Put in both, and I’ll pick tomorrow,” I directed, as he folded them into the bag with enthusiasm.

I went to stand to get my panties and bra, but he looked so disappointed. I reluctantly sat back down.

“Underthings,” I stated, and blushed as I pointed to the top drawer of my dresser. Eric’s eyes went dark, and he opened the drawer. He dug through and pulled out my white cotton panties and put them in the backpack, before also selecting a pair of pink panties that had tiny red hearts printed all over them throwing in another pair that had polka dots on them. Lastly, he held up my white bra, and I nodded.

“You don’t have any lace or frills,” he commented. “Everything is very...sweet.”

“It’s comfortable. I don’t have anyone to impress,” I explained.

He made a rumbly sound that I didn’t understand.

“You bought me a hairbrush and toothbrush and toothpaste already and my shampoo and conditioner, so I don’t think I need to bring anything else.”

“Your pain medication,” he reminded me, and we went downstairs. Eric put the bottle in my backpack. I made sure to throw in my sketch pad and pencils, along with the book I was reading and my wallet and cellphone.

“Ready, fair maiden?” Eric asked roguishly. I was sure he had ravished quite a few fair maidens in his day.

I nodded, and we went outside. I pulled the backpack on, and Eric wrapped his arms around me. Then we were flying. I closed my eyes, the pain medication making me feel a little woozy. I thought about how strange it was that I was getting used to flying as a mode of transportation. Eric seemed lost in thought, and we didn’t chat. I just enjoyed the feeling and the night air, and all too soon, we were at Fangtasia.

Eric took me in the back door to the club, and I put my backpack in his office. He asked me to stay there for a moment while he checked some things and I didn’t mind. I stood around a moment or two, examining what was on Eric's bookcase; I was startled when the door opened. Pam and a young redhead vampire I had never met entered.

“Who’s this? Can we eat her? She smells awesome!” The redhead was just a teenager when she was turned; she couldn’t be more than twenty. Her tone was exactly what I would have expected from a teenager too.

“Yeah, just try saying something like that in front of Eric. He might finally send you back to your Maker,” Pam threatened.

“Ugh. As if,” the new vampire replied in a very bratty way.

“Inventory,” Pam handed the redhead a clipboard. “That’s your job tonight. If you do it well, Eric might let you feed. If you don’t, we’ll see if he gives you a bag of donor blood,” Pam said with her typical smirk.

“What? You still have to do boring stuff as a vampire!? Not fair!” the redhead griped. Then Eric appeared and looked at the young vampire with narrowed eyes.

“Jessica,” he snapped, and she looked at him.

“Yes,” she said with an attitude.

“This is Jane. She is mine,” he stated clearly. “Have you started the inventory?”

“I’m starting now,” she said, still snotty, and I wondered how much longer Eric would stand for it. He gestured for me to follow him, and I did.

“Who was that?” I asked him.

“Bill’s progeny. She was turned against her will. Bill’s punishment for killing Longshadow was to create a new vampire to replace him,” he told me as he led me up the raised dais.

“Why is she here? If she’s Bill’s progeny?”

“I have taken her in to have something over Bill. I don’t trust him, and I don’t understand why he is here in my area,” he said, and he pulled me into his lap.

“Oh,” I said as I thought about that. In my opinion, the more Eric had over Bill, the better. Eric’s hands wandered from my waist to the skin of my thigh, and I felt suddenly aware of my body.

“Mmm…” he said in response to feeling me through the blood. Pam came up to us and told Eric some things in Swedish.

Eric responded in Swedish. I sat on his lap, and people watched. I saw a lot of goth eyes on me that were not pleased. I watched the vampires, and they looked at Eric with respect and fear, and maybe a hint of surprise. Maybe because he had me on his lap?

“I’m going to have a vampire up here in a bit,” Eric leaned in and told me. I looked back at his face, and I could tell he wasn't pleased about this. I took a deep breath, and he ran a soothing hand down my arm. I scanned the crowd, and could immediately tell which vampire was the one that Eric was about to have come over.

The vampire walked with an air of disdain. His eyes took in the decor and the tawdry dancers with derision. Eric indicated for him to come forward, and the vampire sat smoothly in the chair next to us. He had a long pinched face and a beak-like nose. His hair was black and lustrous, pulled back at the nape of his neck. His olive skin tone had a pallor that indicated vampire. He reminded me of a dangerous crow.

“Northman, I’m surprised to see the rumors are true. You have claimed a human.” He narrowed his beady eyes at me.

“Hmm...I have.” Eric trailed his finger along my cheek, and I remembered him doing that before in front of Malcolm and his nest. It must be some sort of claiming gesture.

“Well, I must say, I understand why she seems...delicious.” I could see this new vampire lean in to smell me, his eyes lingering inappropriately on my breasts.

“Why are you here, Tessaro?” Eric asked, cutting to the chase and resting his fingers on my neck territorially.

“A vampire contacted me for my skill set, he wanted to keep our arrangement secret, but I knew better than to double-cross you in your area,” Tessaro replied, steepling his fingers.

“The vampire?” Eric asked.

“Bill Compton,” Tessaro said, and Eric’s hand on my waist tightened subtly.

“What kind did he request, and whom did he indicate would be the recipient?” Eric asked in a bored tone as if it wasn’t too impressive.

“A waitress of all things, and a rather sordid story including himself in a prominent role,” Tessaro chuckled.

Eric smiled like this was amusing. “Some people just can’t do things the old fashion way anymore, can they?”

“Not everyone is gifted with your charm. So, shall I proceed or beg off? The choice is yours, Sheriff, and I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.” Tessaro’s eyes wandered to my legs, and I wished I was wearing pants instead of my little floral sundress.

“Don’t take the job. I’ll compensate you for the loss of funds, and if you double-cross me, it will make Venice look like a festa,” Eric told him casually. But Tessaro stiffened, the threat apparently received loud and clear.

“Very well, Sheriff,” he simpered and stood. “I’m happy to create something for your human, as a gift, free of charge.”

Eric narrowed his eyes darkly. “That will not be necessary,” Eric said this with so much authority and power, that a vampire in the crowd dropped their Tru Blood bottle, and it smashed to the floor.

Tessaro’s eyes widened, and he fled.

The mess was cleaned up, and the revelry continued.

“I suppose you’ll explain that to me later?” I asked Eric softly.

“Most definitely. You need to be wary of him,” Eric replied, and I felt him nuzzling my neck. I turned to look at him, and suddenly I felt that his fangs were down, and I had accidentally pressed them right against the skin of my neck with my sudden movement. He and I both groaned, and he withdrew.

“You test my very limits,” he growled at me, his hands tight on my waist.

“I’m sorry,” I replied. “I didn’t realize that your fangs were down.”

“That could have been very bad. If my fangs were fully extended, they would have cut you. I would have been seconds away from publicly violating the most prominent rule of my club: no feeding on the premises.”

I swallowed.

“I’ll be more careful,” I said softly.

The crowd started to thin out as the night wound down. I draped myself across Eric, my head fuzzy from my medication, and he was texting on his phone. Pam came up and spoke with Eric in Swedish, and I saw her eyes look at me a few times and then nod. Ginger, the blonde that I recognized from being interviewed, said that it was the last call, and the place cleared out.

“Time to go, kitten,” Eric said, and I stood. We walked to the back. He asked me to wait, and I saw him go through a key-coded door. He returned moments later, displeased. I grabbed my backpack, and then he flew me to his house. I looked away when he entered the key code. I didn’t want to know what the code was. I assumed the less I knew, the better. He set me down in the living space, and Pam and Jessica were on the couch watching the massive TV.

“Red, did you do all the inventory?” Eric asked her, and she looked up from the romantic comedy.

“Yes, and it sucked,” she replied. “I wanna work out in the bar!”

“You could not even control yourself around Pam’s claimed human! Do you think I would let you out in the bar where there are humans everywhere? You must work on your control,” he told her. “Drink a bagged blood and go to ground,” he ordered, and she marched like a stubborn child into the kitchen.

Eric led me down to his room, and he stripped down to his boxers and laid on the bed. I couldn’t help but just admire him for a moment. His broad shoulders and his hard abs, my mouth felt dry and I looked away from his form.

“Newborns are a lot of work, and she is especially trying,” he told me with a sigh. “I do not have a Maker’s command over her, so it is even more difficult.”

“A Maker’s command? What does that mean?” I asked as I set my backpack down and toed off my shoes.

“Makers can issue commands to their Progeny, and they must be obeyed. Physically, the Progeny is unable to not comply without feeling severe illness,” he explained.

I gulped. The implications of that were readily apparent to me. “That’s...terrifying.”

“It can be yes. It can also be used to help newborns, to control their impulses.”

I nodded. That made sense. “Who was that vampire that you had to talk to, the one that was going to make something for Bill to use on Sookie?”

Eric’s eyes grew dark, and he pulled me close to him on the bed, curling around me protectively. He sniffed me before he explained. “Tessaro is a dream weaver. He can create powerful hyper-realistic compelling dreams and send them to humans as long as he has a bit of their blood. It is a rare and dangerous talent.”

“Why would Bill want to send Sookie a dream?” I asked. “Doesn’t she already dream about him if she’s had his blood?”

“I do not understand what his purpose is with her,” Eric told me with a tone of frustration, rolling onto his back. “Sending a dream like the ones Tessaro can weave means that Bill is manipulating her. To what purpose, I do not know.”

“Bill walked out into the sun to try to save her from the strangler. He was burnt to a crisp, and they threw him in a grave. He survived, though,” I explained to him what I had seen. “Why would he do that?”

Eric was thoughtful. “He’s an idiot, with a death wish.”

“Maybe he loves her?” I suggested. “I mean in some sort of sick way if he’s manipulating her.”

“Perhaps, but then it’s not love, is it? It's an obsession,” he replied. “What about her has him going to these lengths?” he wondered out loud.

“Her telepathy?” I guessed. “I mean, that seems pretty rare.”

He nodded. “Her personality is rather irritating, and her blood smells…” He made a disgusted sound.

“That bad?” I laughed a little.

“Sickeningly sweet, worse than how cotton candy smells,” he said with a grimace.

“You don’t like sweet flavor?” I asked.

He looked at me then. “Hmmm...a hint like when you’ve eaten a lot of fruit is delicious, but no not like what I smelled on her, although my senses are more sensitive, it comes with age.”

“So maybe Bill is super into her weird sugar blood?”

“It is possible. Enough talk of Bill and the telepath,” he said, and he rolled toward me. “Let’s talk of your blood some more.”

I giggled. “Okay. How do I taste?”

He thought for a moment, and I could tell he liked this question, that it was fun for him.

“You taste fresh, clean, smooth...and AB negative is not common, so your blood is rare as well.” He paused. “There’s an unusual earthiness to your blood. It’s very pure. Delicious. Your scent is familiar to me, but I can’t place it.”

“That’s interesting...you tasted otherworldly. Wondrous. Like an icy cold north sea,” I said.

He bolted upright, alarmed.

“What? Was that offensive?” I asked, sitting up slowly.

“No...I just...I had no idea you would be able to taste that,” he said slowly and laid back down. “I was turned near the North Sea, and it is the dominant tone of my scent. What other vampires smell when they scent me.”

I had shocked him.

“Oh. I didn’t know that. I just felt it when I drank from you,” I said.

“That’s strange,” he replied. “You felt it?” he asked.

“I guess, or I tasted it?” I didn’t know. I shrugged.

He watched me a little longer, and I felt like he was working on what he perceived as ‘my puzzle.’

I yawned.

“You feel a little tired,” he stated. He must be feeling me from his blood in me.

“A bit. It’s late,” I said, and I looked at the smooth expanse of Eric’s chest. It was fantastic.

“May I feed from you?” he asked, and I looked into his icy eyes.

“Okay,” I agreed. I moved myself to the middle of the bed, and Eric positioned himself in front of me.

“Lift your dress,” he said in his usual ordering tone, and I did. I moved my leg out, and he looked at my cotton panties. “I like that only I see these.” He grinned possessively.

“You and everyone else at the laundromat,” I replied, thinking about my pile of laundry.

He looked disgruntled by that but then brought his face to sniff me and made a delighted sound at my scent. The swirling feeling of his breath always felt so lovely. He began to lick my other thigh, the one that didn’t have a bite yet. I was excited at the prospect, and I was sure he felt it. I was trembling a little, shaking in anticipation. His fangs snicked out, and I watched them more closely this time. They looked very long, very sharp, and they dripped with something. He brought them back up a little, so they looked less lethal, and he brushed them against my skin. He continued to tease me until I was aching. I wanted it so badly.

“Eric...please,” I finally begged.

“Please, what?” he asked with a fangy smile.

“Please bite me,” I mewled.

“All you have to do is ask, and I will give it to you,” Eric purred and sank his fangs into my fresh thigh, and I wailed in pleasure. It was so much, too much.

He removed them, and I could think again, except now he was pulling my blood into his mouth, drinking from me, and it felt marvelous. I couldn’t help but watch how he did it, sucking at my flesh. It was intensely erotic. I didn’t know if it was the painkillers or if I was just getting bolder, but I moved my hand down and rubbed myself in time with his pulls, and I careened dangerously close to the edge.

I didn’t even have to ask him. He knew what I wanted now. He dropped his fangs, made glorious eye contact with me, and then pressed his fangs into me, and I came. I could barely hear the foreign words that Eric groaned with a tone of praise. I was drifting and drifting. I was in the sea.

My eyes opened, and I looked down to see the top of Eric’s golden head, and I felt his chilly tongue pressed right against my panties. I froze, my blood running cold. He groaned and shuffled away from me into the connected bathroom. I took the opportunity to change out of my clothes and into my panda shirt and fresh heart-printed panties.

Eric came out, and he looked at me guiltily. “I was overcome. It won’t happen again. I apologize,” he murmured and swallowed. “I will not violate your trust.” I nodded. He came and sat next to me on the bed. “What are you thinking?” he asked me.

“I don’t know. I’m tired. Can I sleep down here with you?” I flopped back onto his ridiculously comfortable bed.

He looked at me. Considering. “You will be stuck down here all day until I wake.”

“There’s a toilet in there?” I pointed to the bathroom, and he nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

He seemed to think about it for a long time, and I was already starting to doze off.

“Very well,” he said. I felt him get up and heard him type the code in at the door, and then he came back and pulled the blanket around me. He got in next to me, and I cuddled up to him, and I felt him kiss my forehead.

“Gods...what are you doing to me?” he whispered, and then I was asleep.

*****

When I woke, Eric was still resting, and I was surprised to see him asleep. He looked so… dead. And relaxed, normally he had some small lines across his forehead and around his eyes, but in sleep, they seemed to smooth out. I wanted to get out my sketching things, to capture him like this, but I couldn’t bring myself to move.

I laid next to him and pulled his arm over me, just enjoying the fact that I could do so. It was strange and lovely to wake up in bed with him. It was something that I had never imagined possible. It wasn’t long before he woke, his eyes opened, and his whole body became animated.

“Did you rest well?” I asked him, and he stared at me.

“I had a dream,” he replied. “It’s not common for vampires.”

“Oh.” I didn't know that. “What did you dream about?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to tell me. “Was it a bad dream?” I asked. I put my arm around him, hoping to bring him comfort.

“No,” he said. “It wasn’t,” he replied, and then he kissed me softly, mindful of my jaw that was still healing.

I didn’t know what it meant. That Eric woke up from a dream and wanted to kiss me, but I quickly forgot all the words he had ever said to me. He was kissing down my neck, his fangs scraping me in a way that both excited and scared me. He had thrown the covers off me and was looking at my splayed thighs.

“Let me bite you?” he asked.

I nodded, and he leaned his head down to my thigh, appearing as though he was going to reopen the marks he made last night. He stopped suddenly and tilted his head as if hearing something.

“What?” I asked, and he swore. He pulled on pants over his boxers and stalked out of the room, and I followed, just peeking my head into the hallway.

“But I’m so hungry!”

I saw that Pam had pinned Jessica, Bill’s progeny, to the wall.

“I don’t fucking care!” Pam hissed. “Dana is mine!”

Eric went out and said something in Swedish to Pam. She stomped past him and up the stairs.

“Do you understand what claiming means?” Eric asked Jessica.

“Not really.” Jessica sniffed.

“It is an act of care,” Eric told her. “To claim a human is a responsibility to them. When you threaten Pam’s human, you exacerbate her defensive territorial instincts.”

“That doesn’t sound much like care. It sounds like ownership,” Jessica said, and I felt she had a point.

“You’ll feel the instinct to claim, and then you will know,” Eric told her softly. “Your Maker should have explained this all to you.”

“Well, he didn’t. He dumped me with you. After he was forced to make me,” Jessica mumbled. I felt my heart go out to her.

“How do you feel? Your bond with him, does it pain you?” Eric asked.

“It did the first night, but it’s okay now,” she explained.

“Go up and drink a bagged blood, not the AB negative,” he ordered her.

I slipped back into the room, making sure that Jessica wouldn’t see me as she passed.

Eric came back and gave me a knowing look. Apparently, I couldn’t hide from him, even if I was out of sight.

“I can’t believe she was made a vampire against her will!” I exclaimed, and I sat at the end of the bed. “Is that a common punishment?”

“The Authority, our governing body, is moving away from punishments that get humans involved in our affairs. The Great Revelation was a turning point for them. They do not condone blood-lust and violence against humans any longer. Jessica is more of a rarity now than in previous eras.”

I nodded. That was interesting. I still felt bad for her. “Is it bad for Bill to leave her, especially when she’s so new?”

“It’s almost unfathomable to me,” he told me. “Like leaving your newborn baby with a stranger.”

I gasped. I had no idea. “Why would he do that?”

Eric shook his head. “He was not raised well himself.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. My stomach grumbled loudly, and Eric smiled. I sometimes got the impression that Eric felt like my human needs were amusing. Like a puppy pawing at a food bowl.

“You need to feed.” He held his hand out to me. “Let’s go up.”

He led me upstairs, and I saw it was already dark, which surprised me. How late had I slept?

“You just missed Dana,” Pam smirked at me when I entered the main living space. “She ate some of your food.”

I shrugged; I didn’t care if she ate some of the food. Eric made sure I was content with a bowl of canned peaches, and then he left to go take a shower and get ready for the evening.

“So, how’s pet life treating you?” Pam asked me as she filed her nails. “Eric, buy you any bobbles or toys yet?”

“I’m not his pet,” I told Pam. Although, I felt a little like a pet, being fed peaches from a can.

“Seems like you’re getting a raw deal to me,” she replied. “Fucking and feeding him and not getting any of the perks of being claimed.”

I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to correct Pam about her assumption that Eric and I were having sex, and even if we did, I didn’t want her to think that I was pimping myself out.

“I’m not trading Eric my blood for money or presents.”

“Then what do you want?” she asked me intensely, narrowing her eyes, and I finally figured out that she was trying to figure me out to protect Eric.

“I want him to keep me safe from Bill and to make sure that Bill doesn’t take my house away,” I explained. “And...I think Eric’s interesting. I want us to be...friends.”

“Friends?” she scoffed and laughed. Pausing her laughter to just stare at me, she shook her head, “You want to be Eric Northman’s friend?” and continued to laugh like I was ridiculous.

“I want to be your friend too,” I told her as I gently nibbled a peach. “If you’ll let me.”

She stopped laughing abruptly and seemed confused by my answer. She watched me suspiciously.

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” I suggested.

She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” I replied simply. “I already know a lot about you.”

“Like what?”

“I know the basics, of course, you love fashion and material things, that you don’t care at all about humans unless you’re looking for one to feed from, that you're loyal to Eric above all others, and that nothing and no one will ever come between you. Especially not me.”

“You got that right,” Pam snapped. She crossed her arms and watched me.

Eric walked in, and I finished my peaches.

“Playing nice, Pam?” he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course.” She smiled, showing him her teeth. “We’re just chattin’ as us girls do, isn’t that right, sugar?”

I nodded. “I’m going to go shower,” I announced, and I felt Eric’s eyes follow me out.

I went and showered in the bathroom off of Eric’s upstairs room that served mostly as just a room to hold his clothes. I realized I forgot my clothes in the downstairs bedroom, so I wrapped a towel around myself and went to find Eric in the hope that he would code me down to get dressed.

I ran into Jessica in the hallway. She was dressed for the club, in a short skirt and goth top.

“Hi, Jessica, wasn’t it?” I asked her, and she nodded. “I’m Jane.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jessica said, and she seemed very sad.

“Are you okay?” I couldn’t help but ask her.

“No! I’m alone, and no one understands what I’m going through!” she exclaimed, and blood pooled in her eyes but didn’t fall. Then she threw her arms around me. This didn’t surprise me. I had always had people confiding in me. Even strangers in line at the supermarket would occasionally spill their sorrows to me.

“There, there,” I soothed and patted her shoulder, my other hand still tightly holding my towel. “I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.”

She sniffed. “You're the first person to say that to me.”

“I don’t know what it must be like for you right now, but I lost my Mama when I was eight and my Daddy ten years later, and I know what it’s like to feel alone,” I explained to her.

“It’s like my whole life died when I died,” she told me. “Like who I was doesn’t exist anymore.”

I couldn’t really understand what that would be like. “Well...maybe that means you can let go of some of the things you used to be, some of the things you didn’t want to be.”

She nodded, and I seemed to have told her the right thing.

“You’re so nice,” she said, and she hugged me again.

Eric came up behind Jessica, and I could see over her shoulder that he was displeased by Jessica hugging me.

“Jessica, go with Pam to the club,” he ordered her, and she released me.

“Thanks,” she said to me, and then she walked away. She paused, almost looking like she would stick her tongue out at Eric, but then thought better of it and continued down the hall.

Then it was just Eric and I standing in the living room, me clutching my towel tightly.

“I left my clothes downstairs,” I told him as he eyed the edge of my towel.

“You need to be wary of Jessica,” he told me as he led me back downstairs. “Sometimes, she’ll appear fine, normal, but her mood could change to thirst quite rapidly.”

“Okay,” I told him. “I will. She just seemed so sad.”

He sighed at me. “I worry about this compassion of yours. That it will endanger you.”

“Well, I’m not going to stop being me.” He coded me into the bedroom. “I will try to be thoughtful about Jessica, though.” I bent to get my clothes from my bag, and I heard Eric’s sharp intake of breath.

I turned around and realized he could probably see me under the edge of my towel when I bent over!

“Oh! I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, and I felt heat diffusing my face.

“If I didn't know better, I would say you’re a master seductress,” he told me, his eyes completely dark.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” I told him.

He watched me for a moment and then exhaled loudly.

“I know,” he replied. “I need to go to the bar for this evening, and I was hoping you would accompany me.”

“Okay. I’ll get dressed and ready.” He shut the door behind him so that I could do so.

I quickly got ready, and surprisingly he drove me to the club. I assumed we would fly, but I was surprised when he pulled a sports car around the back from the garage. He stroked the steering wheel of the vehicle lovingly, and I thought he was a bit silly. I sat in the passenger seat and watched him with amusement. He rested his large cool hand on my bare knee. We didn’t speak as he drove, and I couldn’t stop noticing the weight of that hand against me. It felt comforting and also dangerous. It made my heart pound, and I couldn’t get a hold of myself.

It was just his hand on my knee.

When we pulled into the back parking lot, he moved his hand to the inside of my knee and pushed my legs apart, and felt his fingers graze against my bite mark.

“I feel you. My blood in you,” he told me.

“Does it bother you?” I asked, and I felt him push against the bites, and it made me gasp. I wanted it to be his fangs against me.

“No,” he replied. “It’s exhilarating, knowing how I make you feel.” He looked around briefly and then pressed a scorching kiss to my lips, then he exited the vehicle, zipped around to my door, and helped me out.

I felt a bit dazed.

The night at the club passed in a hazy blur. I made the mistake of drinking a tequila sunrise and taking one of my pain pills and didn’t realize I shouldn’t mix them until it was already too late. I felt particularly under the influence, and I didn’t like it one bit. I stayed with Eric for as much of the time as I could. It scared me to be in a bar, surrounded by so many people, and not control my faculties. At some point, Eric must have deposited me on the sofa in the office because I woke there, still feeling a bit out of it.

“Eric?” I called, remembering that he could hear me from anywhere in the building, and he appeared moments later.

“The bar just closed. I was about to wake you,” he told me, and he felt my forehead. “Are you feeling a bit better?”

I nodded, but my head bobbled more than I had intended. He chuckled.

“I don’t like feeling this way,” I explained. “It feels like too much.”

“I understand,” he replied. “We’ll leave soon.”

I nodded, and he gave me a bottle of water to drink. Not much later, he said it was time to go. Before I could protest, he carried me and placed me in the passenger seat of the car.

“I had forgotten myself that it would be unwise for you to mix them,” he explained. “You so rarely drink. It must be affecting you more than usual.”

“It was scary,” I told him. “I couldn’t stay calm. I felt all over the place.” I couldn’t quite capture how it felt.

“You felt that way when I had you on my lap. Like you were experiencing many emotions all at once. You seemed better in the office,” he explained. “You were able to rest.”

That was good. I couldn’t remember; my mind felt hazy.

We arrived at the nest, and Eric simply carried me down to his bedroom. He helped me with my dress, and he pulled on my sleep shirt, and I removed my bra from underneath it. I laid in the bed, and he was watching me with the strangest expression.

“Do you want to feed from me?” I asked.

“No,” he said, and he pulled the blankets up around me. “I want you to rest.”

“Okay,” I said and closed my eyes. I heard him sigh, and I felt a warmth in my heart.

No, I wasn’t Eric Northman’s pet, but I couldn’t say that I didn't like the feeling of him taking care of me. I tried to remember if there was ever a time that someone had cared for me out of choice. I thought of the string of nannies I had growing up, they had cared for me, but they were all paid to do so. I tried to recall the hazy weak memories of my mother. I thought of my father, too sick to even care for himself, let alone me.

I felt the weight of Eric’s cold hand on my waist, sucking the heat from my body into his hand. I could feel the stubble of his chin against the side of my neck. Just his mere presence behind me was a comfort that I had never had before.

To be cared about this way… it was a gift I didn’t really understand.

Chapter Text

Chap 12

Eric’s POV - Saturday, July 4th, 2009

I woke to the smell of wood, and all my instincts kicked in. I bolted upright, and I found the source of the scent and grabbed it. My fangs were down, and I was snarling before I could even process what I’d done.

“Eric!” Jane wailed, and my mind cleared. I was holding her tiny delicate wrist, in her hand, a simple wooden pencil. I looked down and saw she was drawing; she was sketching my face, completely relaxed in repose. My grip on her wrist was too tight, and I could have easily broken it.

I released her. She rubbed her wrist, and it appeared unbroken, but it would be deeply bruised. I flopped back down onto my bed. What would Godric say? I had an unglamoured human with wood in her hand in my resting place. He would kill me, and his wrath would know no bounds. It was a dangerous scenario and a risky thing to do... But I realized the first night when I allowed her to stay that by not glamouring her, I was breaking one of my most basic safety rules. I had felt...unsettled by my lack of control, how I had tried to lick her slick release that had gathered obscenely on her innocent cotton panties. She had wanted simply to stay and rest. Then last night, she had been so out of it, it hadn’t even occurred to me to try to glamour her. I had forgotten entirely of the presence of her pencil in her backpack, even though I knew it was there.

She was looking at me and her wrist and then back at me.

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking at the bruise starting to form. I hurt her, and she apologized to me. Confounding woman... I brought her wrist to my mouth and kissed it. I gave it an open mouth kiss, laving my saliva onto her so, at the very least, it would hurt less for now.

“Ughh,” she moaned slightly. I could feel her in the blood. She felt back to her usual self again, no longer under the influence of alcohol or pain medication. Her little body was already winding up quickly, just from my mouth on her wrist. Her body came alive in response to my tongue tracing lazy patterns against the delicate purple-blue veins that spread up her forearm. Her skin was so thin here, and it would be so easy to puncture. I saw her nipples pebble beneath her shirt. I realized I hadn’t seen her breasts, and I wanted to desperately. I released her wrist from my mouth. I moved my hands to her waist.

“Can I touch you here?” I asked her, my hand hovering high on her rib cage, my eyes indicating the swell of her breasts.

She nodded, her eyes wild. I moved, and I cupped her firm breast in my hand; it fit perfectly. I brushed my thumb over the hard cloth-covered bead of her nipple, and she moaned again. So sensitive. I moved one of my hands underneath her shirt, gauging her reaction both in the blood and on her face, her eyes met mine, and I could tell she wanted more. I touched the bare silky smooth skin under her breast, and I felt myself shudder. How could anything be so warm and soft?

I needed to see her, and I decided to see if she would let me. I moved to take her shirt off, and she encouraged me to pull it off over her head. The perfectness of her struck me. Her breasts tipped in pink, her nipples hard rosy buds. I was dying all over again. I couldn’t help but touch her now, and she was ridiculously worked up from something so simple as me caressing her skin. I was enamored with her reaction and I had to resist the urge to let my fangs drop.

If this was her response to my gentle touches to her breasts, what would she do if I put my mouth on her slick folds? If I moved my hard cock within her tight body? She might simply combust. Her body temperature had already risen, and her breathing was coming in soft little pants. I rolled her rosy hard nipple between my fingers, and I felt all her muscles contract and spasm as if in warning of an impending climax. I stifled the awareness of my blood in her so I wouldn’t feel her so intensely.

“Can you come from this?” I asked her, and she nodded. I wondered if she had before. I moved my mouth to her other nipple and sucked it into my mouth, and my fangs came down. I didn’t pierce her with them, but I was certain she could feel the sharpness pressing against her skin. I increased the pressure of my mouth against her, and she writhed and screamed, a sound of rapture and ecstasy. I could feel her sudden climax in the blood. The simple action had spurned her on insanely, and I felt blindsided by her release. I lifted my mouth off her and watched. It was as if it had hit her like a truck out of nowhere, and she shivered and trembled in my arms, and I took in the mouth-watering scent of her release. My Gods, it was intense! I looked down at her panties and saw that she had dribbled past them and onto my duvet.

My desire to take her, to mark her, to bind her to me, and fuck her into oblivion was so powerful that I felt my fangs lengthen to sharp, deadly points of their own accord. I wanted her in every conceivable way, and the evidence of her pleasure splashed so joyously on my bed was damn near impossible to resist.

“Eric,” she said. “I got your bed wet.” I felt her embarrassment rise. “I’ve...never done that before.”

More perfect words could not have been said; I was the first to make her feel this way. I leaned in slowly, showing her my intention to kiss her, still unable to sheath my fangs. She allowed me to kiss her lightly, careful of her healing jaw and the near needle-like sharpness of my fangs. Her embarrassment was still burning through the bond, so I broke our kiss. Then I was finally able to draw my fangs and flick them away.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” I asked.

“I peed on your bed!” she whispered, covering her red face. “I don’t know what happened!”

I laughed. She had no idea.

“Jane, this is not urine,” I told her kindly, and she peeked out from behind her fingers. “This is your release. When you climaxed, you ejaculated.”

“I didn’t think women did that,” she said, giving me a surprised and sheepish look. It reminded me of how innocent she was, how I needed to treat her gently.

“It’s a special talent. One that I appreciate greatly,” I rumbled at her. I saw her eyes move to my hardened cock pressing insistently against my boxers. I sensed her fear then. The feeling deflated me rapidly. She had been hurt, and by the scared look on her face and what she had told me before, she had been hurt badly.

I offered her my arm, and she snuggled in. She was very cuddly, and I liked that as well. I loved feeling her in my arms. I took in her scent, her warmth against me, the sound of her heartbeat, and her breath breezing on my skin - it was an experience to be treasured.

Her fear dissipated as I held her, and that pleased me. I never want her to be afraid of me, any part of me.

“Does it hurt?” she asked in a small voice. “For you to not...come, once you’re all worked up?”

“It would but only if prolonged for an extreme amount of time, and either way, it would never be acceptable to pressure a partner for such a reason,” I replied. “Men have exaggerated this phenomenon for centuries.”

“I’m not hurting you by not being ready?” she asked, her face still buried against me.

“No, and if I were truly in need of release, I would go and handle it myself, quite literally,” I told her, and she giggled sweetly.

“Good. I don’t ever want to hurt you,” she said, and I heard the absolute honesty in her voice. I felt the steady rhythm of her heart; she had no deception in that statement.

“I did not mean to hurt you,” I placed a gentle kiss on her wrist. “It is very dangerous to have an unglamoured human in my resting place, especially one that is armed with something that could be used as a stake,” I told her seriously, and I watched her process.

“If I was deranged, I could have killed you…” She looked at me in horror. “Why didn’t you glamour me into promising I would never stake you? Why did you even let me stay down here?”

“You hate to be glamoured. I promised never to glamour you unless absolutely necessary,” I told her simply. “But don’t ever mention it to anyone, especially not Pam. If she did the same with one of her humans, I would have her fangs for it.”

She nodded in understanding, but I could see her mind still trying to figure everything out.

“We have a big bash at the club tonight. Would you like to come?” I suddenly asked her, attempting to divert her attention from her worry. “Red, White, and Blood?” I waggled my eyebrows, and she snorted.

“Not Freedom and Fangs?” she retorted with a wry smile.

“That’s a good one. I’ll save it for next year.”

“Okay, but I want to go home at the end of the night,” she agreed and then stretched. Jane’s breasts were still uncovered, and my thoughts stuttered to a halt as I was distracted by the sight of them. “Eric?” she asked, and I looked up at her face, a little dazed, my mind still on all the things I wanted to do her. “Can I go upstairs and shower?” she asked.

“Oh, yes, of course.” I handed her the sleep shirt with the hilarious panda pun on it, and sadly she put it on and covered up the best breasts I had ever seen. And I had seen many...

I typed in the code to unlock the door, and she followed me up the stairs, and I unlocked that door as well. Jane slipped past me, and with a sweet smile, she went into the bedroom and through to the ensuite bath. Shaking my head, I wrote off my lackadaisical approach to my safety. It was entirely out of character for me and went against everything Godric had ever taught me, but I trusted her. Implicitly.

Tilting my head to listen, I could hear she was humming a simple melody in the shower And quickly I yanked my mind away from thinking about her in the shower. It would not help my obsession with her body. Heading to the bedroom, I looked through my closet, trying to figure out what Pam would want me to wear tonight. Red, White, and Blood? Perhaps I should just wait for her and allow her to choose.

“Eric?” Jane called, and I dipped my head into the bathroom, trying not to get my hopes up.

“Yes?” I asked. She was standing wrapped in a towel.

“Umm...I left my backpack with clothes downstairs…” she started hesitantly, and I nodded. I zipped down and got her bag for her and zipped back up. She blinked a few times before giving me a shy smile and taking her bag, dipping her head a bit, “Thanks.” I exited, trying not to notice how the water beaded on her rose-scented skin.

Going back to the closet, I pulled out black trousers from the closet and held them up. Black trousers were my best guess. Hopefully, Pam would be mollified slightly.

Jane came out of the bathroom looking angelic in the white dress that I chose for her. “Is this going to be okay for tonight?” she questioned and gestured to her dress. “I don’t have any clothes that fit the...style of Fangtasia.”

“I like your style, as you say. Pam would know better about what will be acceptable attire for tonight. In fact, I’m going to have her choose for me.”

“She’s very fashionable.” Jane smiled.

“Indeed. I’ll shower now if you don’t mind,” I said as I stood close enough to feel Jane’s body heat and heard the sound of her heartbeat stutter.

“No, I...I don’t mind,” she breathed out, and I moved past her into the shower. She was so much fun to tease - it really shouldn’t be so entertaining. I found myself grinning like a loon as I felt her excitement through the blood—far too much fun. I could also feel that she needed to take her pain pill, and I hoped that she would soon.

When I got out of the shower, I could tell that Pam is waiting for me in the bedroom, her soft scent drifting through the bathroom doorway. I had turned Pam near the sea as well, and she smelled of San Francisco fog and thought the lovely scent of mist and rain suited her perfectly. I knew that she would ask me about Jane staying downstairs. I was trying to prepare myself to either lie or avoid her question. Telling her the truth was unthinkable.

With just a towel around my waist, I walked out to my waiting childe. She was holding up a black shirt with an American flag design in all white, save one solitary red stripe that immediately reminded me of a drip of blood.

“Clever,” I told her.

“Wear these slacks,” Pam stated confidently as she held up a tight pair of black jeans. “They’ll make your ass look great.”

“My ass is great,” I replied, shedding the towel and pulling on boxer briefs.

“I know,” she said, eyeing me flirtatiously. Oh Pam, my darling progeny, she knew exactly what she was doing. “Jane didn’t stay here last night, or the night before,” Pam stated, noting the lack of Jane’s scent and the still-made bed.

“She did not,” I replied, steeling myself. “What of it?”

“You had her in your resting place?” she asked, astounded.

“Yes.” I squeezed into the black slacks.

“I thought she reacted badly to the glamour?” Pam continued to prod.

“She understands when the glamour is necessary,” I explained curtly, technically not lying.

“Hmm...I’m not surprised. Most women would be willing to do anything to get a ride with you.” Pam examined her nails, affecting her air of boredom that I knew was a mask.

“I’ve not had sex with her, Pam,” I told her forthright.

Pam cackled. “I get it now. It’s the chase. That’s what’s got you so hung up on her.”

I pulled the shirt on, and it stretched across my broad shoulders. I flexed them uncomfortably.

“It’s more than that, Pam, don’t push,” I told her seriously.

She examined me. I could see she was trying to read me, and I stared back at her. Scoffing, she strode out with a flip of her hair, obviously wanting to say something more but knew better than to do so. Pam would always have my back, even if she didn’t understand me, just as I would always have hers. She was my only progeny, my daughter, oftentimes my mother, and my best friend.

Feeling Jane’s apprehension, I followed it out the kitchen where I found Jessica, dressed in a revealing red, white, and blue dress, completely invading Jane’s personal space. Fucking baby vamps, always pushing the limits.

“Jessica,” I snapped, and she turned around.

“What?” she whined and gave me an annoyed look. “I didn’t touch her.”

Jane looked out from under Jessica’s arm and nodded. “I’m fine,” she answered softly and swallowed.

“Take a blood, heat it, and drink it in your room,” I ordered the redhead. “If you’re good, I’ll let you feed from a human tonight.” Perking up, Jessica did exactly as I asked. I would let her do a live feed tonight, it was more nutritious, and as she wasn’t made very strong, she would need all the help she could get. It would be good for her and her mental health as well, barring disasters.

Jane was grimacing in pain as she drank a protein shake that she must have found in the cupboard. It was good that she was feeding. I was concerned about her nutrition; that thinness of her waist wasn’t quite healthy. I eyed the round fullness of her ass, it was very healthy. Jane took another drink of her shake and I felt her pain spike.

“Go get your pain pills,” I ordered. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “You need to take one. I can feel you,” I told her.

Humming and shaking her head, “I don’t want to feel all out of it. I’ll bring them with me,” she conceded.

Stubborn woman.

“Fine.”

Pam walked in and took one look at Jane and grinned. “White. Nice. Let me do your hair,” Pam commanded her. Jane looked at me, and I nodded. Perhaps Pam would start to get a hint of what I had been trying to understand.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see that I had a message from Godric.

While John and I thought it would be the second day of July and not the fourth that we celebrated independence, it should be marked all the same.

Of course, that is what he would send me. Godric had been in the States when the Declaration of Independence was being signed, and he had known John Adams personally.

Unsure how I wanted to respond just yet, I went into the office and checked my email. Finally, there was movement from the AVL, and I was to receive a call from Nan tomorrow night for instructions on my prisoners. I checked on my investments and was looking through some of the reports when Pam burst in. She brought Jane forward.

“Am I good, or am I good?” Pam asked, gesturing to Jane.

She had done Jane’s long blonde hair in a style from the 1940s, and her makeup as well, her lips a classic vintage red. With her white dress, she reminded me of an American nurse during World War II. She was stunning, and it made me realize that her face was timeless.

I stalked over to Jane and held her chin delicately in my hand, wary of her healing jaw. I inspected every inch of her face. “This merely highlights her considerable beauty,” I told Pam, and she grinned at my praise of her skills.

“I thought it looked patriotic,” Jane deflected. Sighing, I stared down at her with a brow raised - she just couldn’t accept a compliment.

“Eric, we need to leave,” Pam reminded me.

“Take the top down on the Buick,” I told Pam. After seeing Jane, I knew we had to take the 1941 Buick super convertible coupe. I had just had it detailed, and it was shining and ready to go.

“Excellent,” Pam agreed and then eyed Jane as if she had found a new toy and then left.

Jane watched her go and shook her head. “Pam’s...interesting,” she said.

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“She’s one of the most secretively nice people I have ever met,” Jane told me as she idly examined the books on my bookcase.

One hairdo later, and Jane had Pam pegged. It astounded me. Most people, vampire or human, struggled to figure Pam out. Her abrasive attitude, her sharp tongue, and almost unreadable face made it next to impossible for those who did not know her to see her motives. Pam was loyal and generous...to those she found worthy.

“How can you tell?” I asked Jane, and she smiled at me mysteriously.

“I just can,” she stated airly with a shrug as she walked alongside the bookcase and stroked the spine of a collection of poems.

“Eric?” Pam popped in and looked at me concerned, although, to most, she would still look passively blank.

“We’re coming out now,” I said, and I took Jane’s hand in mine, and we went out to the car. I put Jane in the passenger seat, and Pam respectfully took the back so that Jane would not be sitting next to impulsive newborn Jessica.

The line outside the club was already extremely long, and we would have to turn people away. I could tell we would reach maximum capacity.

“That’s a lot of people,” Jane murmured as she looked at the line, and I felt that she was nervous.

“That’s a lot of blood!” Jessica exclaimed, her baby fangs poking out.

“Jessica put your fangs away, or I won’t give one to you tonight,” I told her sternly, and she barely forced her fangs back in.

We parked in the back, and I was pleased to see that Chow was already there with Ginger and the other waitresses. They had decked the place out in gaudy red, white, and black decor, and it was very fitting and over the top. I left Jane at the bar and checked on the prisoners in the basement. The conditions were sanitary, and they all had food and water. I still wanted them gone.

When I came back up, the club was already packed, and Jane was attempting and failing to have a conversation with Ginger.

“What’s wrong with her?” Jane asked as I pulled her with me to the throne.

“She’s been glamoured too much. Mostly by Longshadow,” I explained.

Jane looked back at her sadly and frowned. She really did have empathy for everyone I mused. I pulled her to my lap, and she wriggled against me delightfully.

“Are there fireworks tonight?” she asked.

I nodded. “You can see the city's firework display perfectly from outside the club.”

“Can we go see it?” Her voice was laced with excitement, and I found it hard to deny her anything.

“It won’t start until later, but I think I can take you to see some of it.”

I saw Pam with her pet Dana, and I nodded to them as I saw Pam take Dana into the back. Pam would be happy. I saw Jessica bringing out more bottles of alcohol from the back and behaving herself.

“Who should we get for Jessica to feed on?” I asked Jane.

Jane looked at me to see if I was serious, and when she saw that I was, she actually began to scan the crowd. I had expected her to protest, to make me explain why Jessica needed to feed. Of course, she just went with it. I could not predict her at all. Jane singled out a young man with tattoos and piercings. He was completely into the lifestyle and would be thrilled at an experience with a vampire, even a rough newborn.

“You’re good at this,” I told her. “Who would you pick for me?” I asked teasingly, but she took me seriously and scanned the crowd longer. She pointed out a beautiful Latina who was there with a group of friends. She was laughing and smiling, having a good time, and had already turned down a man’s invitation to dance.

“Why her?” I asked, knowing that I would have likely chosen her myself.

“You like beautiful women who know themselves, and that only do what they want.”

I grinned. If she was a vampire, she could be a procurer for a high court of lazy vamps that didn’t hunt for themselves.

“Now choose for Pam,” I said, testing her.

She scanned the crowd, and her eyes fell on a woman with expensive shoes and a lacey bustier, and the sharp, sly smile of a fox.

“Her,” she said.

I chuckled. She was good. “How do you know?” I questioned, thoroughly impressed and entertained with her results.

Jane shrugged, brushing off the compliment like always as she went back to scanning the room. “Who’s that?” she asked, and I saw her looking at Dana.

“She is Pam’s,” I explained.

Jane shook her head. “There’s something not right about her.”

“She hasn’t been Pam’s long. A month or so,” I stated.

Jane got off my lap and followed Dana toward the bathrooms. I wasn’t too concerned. I would be able to feel if Jane was having any problems. I did some work from my phone, and I saw Chow bounce some people out. It was going surprisingly smoothly. Jane had been gone a while, and I felt out to the blood for her, and she felt fine if a little...angry? Jane wasn’t prone to anger, that was unusual. I looked in the crowd for her, and I didn’t see her, so I started following the blood to her, and she was in the hallway with Dana.

Dana was laughing and chatting with her, and through the din of sound, I heard Jane ask Dana a question.

“So, you’re just with Pam for free clothes and shopping trips?”

“Oh, please, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You’ve been there, you’ve seen how much they have, I’ve got big plans,” Dana said, and I felt Jane’s anger rise.

“Oh? Do tell?” Jane said in a mischievous friendly way, and I caught that she was playing Dana right away.

“Everything is protected with a key code. As soon as I have the code…” Dana trailed off with a raised eyebrow and smirk. “You must have some big plans yourself if you managed to snag Northman.”

Jane gave her a measured look, and I felt her anger flare at Dana. “Oh. I have plans.” Jane turned and marched away, not noticing me watching her from the shadows. She went directly out to the main floor and seemed surprised to see that I wasn’t on the throne. She then immediately turned and went to my office, trying to find me to report the treachery of Pam’s pet. I felt my blood rush through my body, animated by whatever magic it was that kept me going.

Jane was honorable and loyal. I wanted her. I needed her. She was mine. I made her jump slightly by coming up behind her, and I opened the door of the office and pushed her in. I had her backed up against the door in seconds.

I leaned in to kiss her. I wanted her badly. Her loyalty was an aphrodisiac unto itself, and her righteous anger intoxicating. If she had permitted it, I would have already been fucking her tight body against the solid door of my office. I would have pounded her until she screamed so loudly that even the human ears would be able to hear her cries over the thudding music. I tried not to grind against her. I kissed her as gently as I could. She moaned softly, and I felt her hips grind back against mine.

“Eric.” She broke my kiss, panting. “I need to tell you something—” I kissed her again. Gods! I could not get enough of her. I forced myself to stop.

“You were coming to find me.”

“Yes. Dana’s—”

“I heard. I will tell Pam, and she will handle it.” I looked down into her teal eyes.

“Oh.”

“I find that your loyalty excites me,” I told her, and she gulped. I felt her heart thud against her chest, and she sent me a mixture of excitement and pleasure, tinged with apprehension. I breathed against her neck and smelled her. AB negative, roses, and whatever wild earthy near addictive deliciousness that was just...her. Jane trembled and ground against me, and it took all my willpower not to bite her neck and lift her dress.

I stepped out of her space, and she breathed a huge sigh out. I felt her calm slightly. And it helped me as well. We both took a moment and then my eyes fell on the clock. “Would you still like to see the fireworks?” I asked her.

“Yes, please!” she chirped and smiled broadly.

“Very well. I need to speak with Pam first. After the fireworks display, we will need to let Jessica feed.”

She nodded. “Should I be there for that?” she asked apprehensively.

“Most humans are not as...excited by the feed as you are. And I prefer not to have you out of my sight,” I said, irrationally territorial over her. “Come with me while we find Pam.”

She agreed, and I found Pam at the door turning many humans away, only letting those in that she deemed worthy. I nodded to her, and she followed us back to the office. I explained Jane’s fact-finding and the truth about Dana’s long-term intentions.

“Try not to kill her?” I asked, knowing it wouldn’t be prudent with the direction the AVL was trying to take things.

Pam’s eyes darkened and she grumbled as she left, and I knew that she would take care of the Dana situation.

“Okay. Fireworks now?!” Jane asked, adorably excited.

“Come with me,” I said, and I led her by the hand out the back, and then I pulled her quickly into my arms and flew her to the roof. I kept a chair up there for when I would come up here to think. I sat in it and pulled her to my lap, and nuzzled her neck. She was looking up at the sky, and I felt her anticipation.

A firework burst above us, and she oohed. “That was like a poppy, wasn’t it?”

Another one went off, and she continued to make appreciative sounds. “Those were palm trees!” she exclaimed, and I could tell she loved this.

I let her narrate the entire firework display, staying far longer than I had intended. She stood and paced, trying to see the fireworks from different angles. At one point, I snapped a photo of her with my phone. She was silhouetted against the sky, nothing but the shape of her gorgeous curvy little body visible against the explosion of light from the fireworks illuminating the sky. I sent it in response to Godric’s text, knowing that he would appreciate the artistry and her fine form. Jane took no notice. Her focus was entirely on the display, eventually, she came and sat back down in my lap. She compared the fireworks to flowers and trees, to animals, and volcanoes.

Every single one was beautiful to her.

“Which was your favorite?” I asked her after the finale.

“I couldn’t say. They were all stunning and unique. Each one had its one shining moment, and then, in a kiss of fire, it’s gone.” It was when she said things like that, that she most reminded me of Godric. Instead of brooding about Godric and his declining mental health, I turned to more immediate matters.

“Let’s go feed the baby,” I said, and I held out my hand and pulled her to me. I flew her down, and we went through the back. The crowd that had been outside watching the display had poured back in, and I was glad to see that Chow was on the door keeping everyone in line.

I snagged Jessica from the stock room and directed her to my office. Jane was watching everything curiously. I glamoured the young tattooed man Jane had picked simply to follow me. When I brought him into the office for Jessica, her fangs flicked down.

“Down girl,” I told her, and she forced them in. I turned to the young man. “Tell us your name.”

“Marco,” he said, looking at Jessica.

“Jessica is a new vampire and needs some practice feeding,” I explained. “Are you interested?”

“Just feeding?” he asked, eyeing her body hopefully.

“Yes,” I replied. I didn’t know if she had the control for anything else right now, and as I was not her Maker I wouldn’t be able to command her. Jessica’s puritanical upbringing made it unlikely that she would have that conversation with me. I would have to have Pam talk to her about her needs. Perhaps let her buy some sort of device to aid her.

“I am interested,” he agreed, although he was a little disappointed.

“Good. Sit on the couch. Jessica, join him,” I ordered. Jane went and sat in my chair behind my desk, and I could feel her trepidation through the bond.

“Pam taught you to bite?” I confirmed. Jessica nodded. “Show me what you have learned.”

Jessica leaned over and licked the human’s neck. She could lick a little wider and for a little longer, but she was young and impatient. She leaned in and bit. She hit the right spot, thankfully. But she had no finesse. Young Marco was not pleased. She was making a mess too. Blood was escaping because she was feeding with her fangs in. It certainly felt good to have your fangs stuck in, but it was sloppy and unpleasant for the human.

“Stop,” I ordered her, but she didn’t. It reminded me again that I was not her fucking Maker. I pulled her off him. “Retract your fangs,” I ordered, and she complied. “Now drink, look at the mess you’ve made of him.”

She slurped up the blood that was still leaking from his neck, and it looked raw and terrible. Pam only taught her where to hit with her fangs not to kill the human. Leave it to her to do the bare minimum of what I asked. When he was finally not dripping down his neck anymore, I pulled Jessica off him. I opened up my desk drawer and tossed him a bandage. He slapped it on, completely used to being bitten. I told him to come back later in the week when his wound had healed more so Jessica could try again. It would be less exciting for her to feed on the same human and maybe she would get a better feel of the territorial instincts she possessed as well.

“Pam will take you to the nest at closing,” I told her. “Go back and finish in the stockroom.”

Wiping the blood ring from around her mouth, she followed my command.

Jane was sitting in my chair, twisting it back and forth, and I couldn’t read her mood through the blood.

“What are you thinking?” I asked her, stopping the spinning of the chair.

“You bite me very nicely,” she said. She looked up. “I didn’t realize how much practice and control it must take.” I knelt before her and spread her legs in my chair and looked at my bites on her—my marks. I looked up at her with dark eyes, and I saw her want in them. She was such a gift, wanting my bite so badly.

“Would you like me to bite you nicely now?” I purred as my voice came out deeper than I had even intended, and I saw her shiver.

“No,” she said suddenly, and I was surprised. I thought for certain she would want me to make her come with my bite. “I’m...I’m sorry.”

I closed her thighs and covered her white cotton panties. I could feel her need, her arousal through the blood. Why didn’t she want my bite?

“Can you tell me why?” I asked her, still kneeling.

“I’m...I have to think. About what I just saw. What it...means.” She tilted her head, and I could see her thoughts churning.

“Would you like me to take you home now?” I asked her, feeling her shifting mood.

“Yes, please.” She stood, and I stood with her.

Jane grabbed her backpack, and we walked out of the front. She bid Pam goodbye, and once we were in the alley, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. I wished that I did not have to return her to her home. After the loyalty she showed today, I wanted her to live in our nest. She was too much of an asset to be so far away and far too delightful and intriguing to be all the way in Bon fucking Temps. I tried to feel her mood, but her jaw was achy, and she was tired, and I couldn’t get a feel for much else.

When we touched down in front of her house, I escorted her inside, if only to have more time with her. She unpinned her hair and slipped off her shoes, and she looked rapturously undone. I poured her a glass of water, and she took her pills out of her backpack and took one out, and broke it in half. I rolled my eyes at her, but then she took the water and pushed the pill into her mouth.

When she was done, she went up to her room, and I followed. She dug through her drawer and pulled out a pajama shirt. She lifted her hair off her back and then looked over her shoulder.

“Will you unzip me?” she asked, and for a moment, I thought she was seducing me, but I could feel her tiredness in the blood, and I could see the innocence in her eyes. She had no idea of her effect on me. I undid the zipper, and she stepped out of her dress. She pulled on her pajama top quickly and removed her bra under her shirt, throwing it on the floor with her dress.

She climbed into her bed, and I pulled the covers around her.

“Thank you for the fireworks,” she said softly, drowsy.

“Of course,” I whispered back.

“Eric...I made a mistake about the bite,” Jane suddenly muttered. Her eyes were closed, and I felt that she was moments from sleep. “It’s much more between us than I thought. It’s deeply personal, the way you do it.”

Then she was out.

I left and locked her house up behind her, and I still didn’t like the idea of her living out in the middle of fucking nowhere by herself. I flew back and thought about what she said. Deeply personal. It was. Godric had taught me to bite. It was a very intimate thing the way he had shown me. He had been my first bite, after all. When I was young and unpracticed, it wasn’t as nice as it was now. But it was more than that - it was her. Jane made it personal. As I put every ounce of control into it, she put her trust in me, and it was intimate. When I gave her my orgasmic bite, and she gave me her delicious blood, it was akin to lovemaking. Jessica’s rough bite to Marco made her see the difference. Her bite was the equivalent of a quick fuck in a bar bathroom.

What Jane and I did was an exchange. She trembled and shuddered from the penetration of my fangs, and I took her rare earthy blood inside me.

It was much more.

Chapter Text

Chap 13

Godric’s POV - Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Stan tossed the two younglings to the floor in front of my modern throne, sneering at them as he stepped back. Staring at him for a moment, I resisted the urge to sigh; Stan was a very effective enforcer— most of the time. Glancing down, I eyed the vampires, determining their age and strength. Newly turned but passed their newborn phase. Weak, but older than yearlings, certainly less than a decade. Old enough to know better. Blood siblings, it appeared, from the amount of blood sharing they had done. They smelled distinctly of each other's scents, and I could almost even place where they were turned. Evergreens and damp moss... The Pacific Northwest, Washington state most likely, as many vampires had been fleeing the area because of their strict feeding laws.

“Explain your actions very carefully,” I told them, unable to hold my own power back.

They trembled yet said nothing. They had no defense for such deplorable behavior. Every regent in the country had been required by the Authority to issue the same edicts. As Sheriff of Dallas, I made sure they were followed.

“Where is your Maker?” I asked them coldly.

“We’re released, Sheriff,” the slightly older of the two replied.

Released! Only a decade old and released! It was unthinkable. I couldn’t contain my power and rage. Even Isabel looked like she might kneel from the raw strength of my power. To release such young vampires; it was a heinous action. These youths would run rampant with no Maker to hold them accountable.

“Feeding,” I began slowly, “from humans is a privilege. One that I can revoke at any time.”

I heard Stan swallow, and I raised an eyebrow at him. He and I had debated about this in the past, but he wouldn’t dare contradict me while I was putting these ignorant fledglings in their place.

“The Queen has mandated that all feeding must be done either consensually or,” I paused here to let them stew a moment. “With a glamour.”

“Yes, Sheriff.”

“Humans are aware of us now, this despicable behavior, not glamouring and forcing your feed—“

“The human goaded me!” the younger of the two blurted, and my rage flared. So disrespectful, so ignorant! Unknowingly, I had released a bit more of my power, and the younglings cowered and shed blood tears in sheer fright. Gods, my rage was making my usual tight control over my power slip. I was barely able to reign it back in.

“Do. Not. Interrupt.” Each word I spoke was clipped and near-deadly.

They sniffled, and I continued.

“We are already hated and hunted by the humans. This behavior only adds fuel to their fire. It threatens all our safety!”

A vampire was staked just last night. It was infuriating. I couldn’t control the vampires any more than I could control the humans.

Isabel stepped forward and asked, “How do you sentence them?”

Stan rolled his eyes, and I saw red. He didn’t even think they should be punished.

“Defanging.”

“What!?” Stan gasped in outrage, confirming in my mind that he was participating in unglamoured and unwilling feeds himself - despite the fact that he still hadn’t even earned back his hunting privileges.

I tilted the head back of the first vampire and pulled his fangs out easily. It was not something most, even ancient or elder vampires, could do. It required an extremely high amount of fine motor skill combined with concentrated strength. Blood oozed from the holes where the fangs once rested, and the vampire wailed horrifically. I repeated the process with the other youngling, and I was thankful that we had all the lair rooms soundproofed, not just the private quarters. The younger fledgling was screaming in agony, and I tossed both sets of bloodied fangs to the floor.

“Get out of my city, or your next sentence will make this look light in comparison,” I hissed, and they fled, foolishly leaving their fangs behind. Had they no sense of vampire culture, of our customs?

They knew nothing.

What had we come to?

“That was too harsh, even for you,” Isabel said quietly.

I had expected it from Stan, but not from Isabel.

I cursed her out in Norse, and a blast of power had Stan kneeling before me, totally cowed. Isabel nodded her head in deference; she was older and better able to withstand the strength of my power. But I saw the look in her eye. Like she hardly recognized me.

I left the nest and flew to the ridge. Our ridge, as I liked to think of it.

I spent some time pacing relentlessly, wearing the path in front of the benches a little deeper. Then, in a mixture of paranoia and hope, I made myself calm and sat down on the bench...Just in case she arrived.

The Woman.

I knew it was unlikely, insane even, to expect her to appear now after so many months. It was madness to come out here every night, hoping that she would stroll up the path as she had done before.

The wind whistled through the trees, and I tried not to think of her. I could almost hear the soft, innocent cadence of her voice, tone filled with forgiveness, with salvation. I tried to hold onto the memory of her scent, of paint and roses, rare delicious AB negative. And her taste...unlike anything I had ever had in over two thousand years of existence. She tasted of wilderness and of the earth, and I was thankful that I had the control to stop, although I wasn’t certain that I indeed had.

If she hadn’t climaxed from my gentle touch, would I have drained her dry? Even now I wasn’t sure. I had been so starved...

Furious with myself, I stood and paced some more. Damn her! What had she done to me? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about her? What in the seven Hels was wrong with me?

Forcing myself to turn my thoughts away from her, I considered that I might be acting so irrationally because I hadn’t fed. I had tried...nothing seemed to whet my appetite. I had even been unable to drop fang on my last donor. It was disturbing and embarrassing. Gods, I hoped Isabel never found out, she would tell Eric, and he wouldn’t be able to let that go. I couldn’t imagine what lengths he would go to get me to feed.

My mind wandered to Eric, and I opened my phone to look at the photograph he had sent me, the one of his human. I was already suspicious of her. Eric had a harrowing past with claiming humans. They made him territorial and blind to threats. Inspecting the photograph, I tried to determine what I could about this human. I could only see the outline of her form against the explosion of light from the sky but it did not surprise me to see that she was long-haired and had lovely feminine curves. Hair was so important to my Viking prince, a holdover from his human days. I fondly remembered his disgust at my locks when I had first turned him.

That was ages ago, lifetimes. I longed for the moment, wishing that I could step back through time, to when I was needed. Back to when I truly acted as a Maker instead of the farce of whatever I was now - futilely trying to reign in the barbarity of vampires and prevent the escalating violence of the humans. I looked out across the ridge and then up and the inky night and felt wholly and entirely alone. I was isolated and nostalgic for those times that had passed, of young Eric so willful and clever. And of confident and eager Nora. I hungered for what I had then; true purpose and those that needed my protection and care.

To have that again. I swallowed uselessly, my mind already returning to The Woman and the word she had told me.

Nothing in time is permanent.

Were all moments so fleeting?

I pulled my melancholy around me like a cloak, as if it could insulate me from the true feeling that I was trying to avoid.

That I had missed my chance, I squandered my moment with her. A fleeting snippet of time that melted between my fingers. And now she was gone…

My phone rang, it was Eric calling me.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on fooling him.

I wasn’t even sure how much longer I could fool myself.

***

Jane’s POV - Sunday, July 5th, 2009

My life had become a mixture of mystical and mundane. It was a strange contradiction to be sitting in the laundromat, watching my clothes spin in a swirl of suds as I thought about last night. Watching Jessica bite Marco made me uncomfortable, but not in the way that I had anticipated. I had imagined that watching such intimacy would be awkward, that seeing her bite him would be similar to watching people makeout, that you were privy to something private.

To find that it wasn’t at all like that, and it was much more like watching Jessica unsuccessfully drink a very unhappy milkshake. It made me realize that the way Eric bit me, and the way I reacted to his bite, wasn’t...normal - that he was ultimately right about me. That I wasn’t normal. My clothes continued to move in a rhythmic circular pattern against the washing machine’s window, and I felt like I was watching my thoughts move round and round.

I could hardly claim that I hadn’t realized how intimate it was, how every time he bit me, I fell for him a little harder. I knew that, and I knew that I was going to get myself hurt. It was inevitable now. I was already in too deep with him, and I was just going to wait for the moment that it did. I suppose it wouldn’t kill me when he figured me out and became my distant vampire friend. He would probably not truly keep in touch whenever he figured out what it was that he was trying to find in me. It was a nice thought, but I knew better. People drifted apart when their time together ended, and for him and me, it most certainly would.

I hadn’t realized that he was so purposeful with the bite, so methodical and simultaneously tender. Was that just his way? Did he bite everyone like that? If he had shoved his fangs into me as Jessica did to Marco, I was certain I wouldn’t have liked it. Did he manipulate my response to him? Had my vampire from Dallas done the same thing? The connection I felt to Eric was deep. It was as deep as the ocean that seemed to reside inside him. I felt that Eric did have some level of care for me. He risked having me in his resting place, after all. I just couldn’t help but feel like it was all one-sided. That I was in way over my head with him, and he was playing me like a game, trying, as he said, to solve the riddle.

The washer stopped, and I moved my clothes to the dryer. I slid the quarters into the slot and started the dryer. I loved the relaxing atmosphere of the laundromat. Perhaps I wouldn’t buy a washer and dryer until much later. The heavy humid smell of soap and drying clothes was comforting. Did it matter if I cared more for Eric than he did for me? I could only live my own experience after all, and perhaps Eric cared for me as much as he could.

What it came down to was if I cared enough about this difference to stop seeing him. To put an end to our association out of fear of what I already knew would be an immovable truth. Ultimately he would hurt me. Would it hurt more now or hurt more later? I had been cautious, and while I was already in too deep with him, I hadn't thrown myself in headlong. Had I?

Was I already in love with him?

That hit me hard enough that I nearly slid off my plastic chair. I stopped trying to analyze my relationship with Eric. I decided that it didn't matter. I had already jumped into the water of the black river. He was already inside of me in a way I couldn’t quite explain, and I knew that it was more than just his blood. I couldn’t stop myself. I wouldn’t. I would let him figure me out, and I could try to overcome my fear of physical intimacy. And maybe, after he solved his puzzle, I would be able to thank him for helping me.

I nodded to myself. It would hurt, to be sure, when Eric invariably broke my heart, but it was possible that he would heal a different wound inside of me, the one I had been running from. The one that I hadn’t wanted to admit existed. Maybe Eric could help me learn to trust and finally regain the ability to be intimate without freezing in fear. My heartbeat returned to its normal pattern, and I felt myself settle. Yes, that’s what I would do. I would heal and hurt all the same time.

What a lovely and terrible irony! I laughed out loud, and the other people in the laundromat looked at me, startled by my strange behavior. No, this was not that out of the ordinary. I got out the map of the area that I had purchased at the gas station and started to plan my next adventure. Where should I go? I found a nature preserve in between Bon Temp and Shreveport, and it looked like it would be a good place to try to explore for my sense of the wild, of the unknown, of the unnameable feeling that pulled at me still.

Once my laundry was dry, I folded it and drove home. It was already past five, and I sucked up a quick smoothie and dressed for adventure. I didn’t take any pain pills because I wouldn’t do so and drive, and the ache of my jaw had lessened to a bearable degree. Water bottle full, I drove out to the nature preserve. There weren’t many cars parked in the parking lot, and I completely bypassed the visitor’s center.

I looked at the trail map, and I looked for the one that looked the least traveled. I had a terrible sense of direction, but I just knew that I could always find my way back by going in the direction that I came from. Feeling excited about what hidden possibilities could be waiting to be discovered, I started along the empty trail, hitching my backpack higher on my shoulder.

The early evening light filtered through the trees giving everything a golden glow. I loved the way the shadows danced before me and how I could hear the chirping sounds of crickets all around me, along with the occasional grunt of a frog. I strolled amongst them, enjoying every delicate flower, every swath of lichen that draped gracefully down from the curled branches above me. I came to a small stream that bisected the path, and I slipped, falling into it laughing. I scraped my knee slightly, but it was worth it to sit in water, soaking in the feeling of being amongst nature once more. I got up, sopping wet, and continued on the path. The light was fading, and I knew I should get back, but I felt like maybe just a little further, I would find something wondrous. I rounded my last corner, and I found a pleasant surprise. Wild blackberries, or perhaps they were dewberries. I got out my jacket and folded it to collect some berries. I slipped and fell into the bush a few times and was covered in light scratches, but I couldn’t have been more pleased with my treasure.

My walk back was uneventful, despite tripping a few more times in the dying light. I reached my car to find the parking lot empty. I sucked a few berries into my mouth, not chewing them. Their flavor was delicious and wild, far sweeter, and juicier than anything I could buy at the store. I rolled down the windows and listened to the sounds of the night start to awaken, and I felt like I was waking up too. I slurped a few more berries on my drive home, feeling content, wild, wondrous, and free.

This was what I wanted—this type of life.

The drive home in the dark felt longer, and I realized that I had forgotten my cellphone at home. I hoped that Eric hadn’t tried to reach me, and when I drove in and found him on my porch, I wasn’t too surprised.

“You didn’t bring your phone,” he stated when I got out of my car.

“I forgot about it,” I said, gently cradling my bundle of berries. He zipped over to examine me in an instant.

“You’re bleeding. You have scratches all over. What have you been doing?” he demanded.

I opened my jacket and showed him my blackberry treasure. “I was exploring. Look what I found!”

He stared at me, and I could tell it was his calculating look. He was trying to figure me out again. Ignoring him for the moment, I walked into my house and found my colander, carefully placing my bounty of berries in it. I felt Eric standing in the doorway, and I looked over at him.

“You look like you went to battle for berries,” he nearly growled. “Scratched and maimed for something most humans purchase from the store.”

“These are so much better, and I didn’t even mean to find them. I was just out exploring,” I told Eric, rinsing the berries in the sink.

“Exploring?” he questioned.

“I went out to the nature preserve. It was so beautiful! I love being in nature.”

He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘another bloody pagan.’

“I’m not a pagan. I’m not religious,” I told him as I put the berries on a towel to dry.

“I find you very divine,” he said rakishly, eyeing me in a flirtatious manner.

I laughed, a tiny grin creeping across my face, and my jaw ached.

“Take your pain pill, woman,” he demanded. I sighed and did as he asked.

We went into the living room, and he began his routine of building me a fire, and I laid on the ground, waiting for the pill to make me feel all fuzzy. He laid next to me and surprisingly just began to lick my skin. He started with the scratches on my arms, and I saw them begin to heal. He moved his tongue all over my arms, up to my neck. Then he moved down and licked my scraped knee. It felt both caring and erotic, like a very sensual bath. I felt the pain pill and the effects of his tongue, and I could not help but wiggle and writhe in his grasp.

“You taste ridiculous. Like river water and the scent of those dewberries,” Eric growled. “And of arousal.”

“Is that good?” I asked.

“Indescribably so. You make me want to break my rule and feed on you and stay in Bill’s stupid hole in the ground.” Pausing, he closed his eyes as if to gain more control and backed away from me slightly, although he was still within arm’s reach because I could feel the weight of his massive hand still on my waist. Staring at me, he tilted his head, “You were strange yesterday, after watching Jessica feed,” he stated, and I knew that he wanted me to explain more about why I had refused his bite.

I sighed. “I know. I won’t be now. I didn’t know about the bite, maybe because my first bite was nice too.”

Eric looked away. “I wish I knew who bit you. He must be old to bite you, as you say, nicely.”

“I don’t want to talk about him. It makes me feel...I don’t know. Loose with my affection? I’m not that kind of person.”

He laughed. “I think I, of all people, know that you are not loose with your affection.”

I blushed, ducking my head, and he laughed more.

“I am working on my issues. My physical intimacy issues,” I clarified. He raised his eyebrow in question. “I’m hoping you can help me with them.”

“I’m happy to be of service,” he said slyly.

“Eric, seriously, though. If we ever do have sex, will that just solve the puzzle for you?” I asked him, wondering if that was all this was really about.

He moved his hand and laced his fingers between mine. “Your sexuality is perhaps the one thing I understand about you. It’s the only thing I have figured out. If you give yourself to me...it won’t solve the puzzle at all.”

“I’m glad one of us understands it,” I told him. “I didn’t even realize I had a problem until I met you.”

“You crave connection because of the emotional betrayal you felt. You need physical security because of the pain that was inflicted on you.”

I nodded—that made sense.

“The problem you’ll find is that you will eventually have to decide whether or not to trust. You will never truly know what another is thinking. You will eventually have to decide to take the risk - when you are ready to.”

I thought about that. About taking risks and what I was trying to protect...

“I only hope that you find me worthy of your trust,” he said softly.

“I do trust you,” I told him. “It’s just...sometimes my body doesn’t. It freezes, and it’s like it’s stuck,” I tried to explain.

“It’s okay. I understand. I know someone who was... hurt. I had felt that freeze before, it felt the same. Years and years later, I would still feel it, even though we have an unparalleled level of trust.”

“So, it won’t ever go away?” I asked with alarm.

“For my friend it faded, and only occasionally is it triggered. Only in certain situations.”

“Can she have sex?” I asked.

“He. And yes, all kinds,” he stated.

“Are you...bisexual?” I asked curiously.

“Sexuality is interesting...I’ve evolved a lot over the years. I prefer women. They taste better to me as well, cleaner usually. But I occasionally find men that are interesting to me,” he told me, still holding my hand. “What about you?” he asked.

I shrugged, I didn’t really like labels. “I like beauty, but I never gave it much thought. To be honest, I’ve basically given up on the idea of partnership, sexual or romantic. I’m perfectly content living my life alone.”

“For someone so connected to things, you spend a lot of time alone,” he said, phrasing it as a statement, but he meant it as a question.

“People are...amazing but overwhelming. So many feelings and motivations,” I tried to explain it to him.

“Most people don’t feel that way. They like to be around others.”

“I’m just an introvert. I find too many people exhausting.” I snuggled in closer to him, and he sniffed my neck.

“I can't predict you. I have no idea what you’ll do or say next. I don’t understand what motivates you,” Eric whispered.

“That must be irritating.”

“More like irresistible.” I felt his fangs scraping against my neck, and it made my nipples tighten in anticipation.

“Are you going to break your own rule?” I asked, wondering if he would bite me.

“You make me want to break all my rules,” Eric whispered, and his low, rumbled reply made me tremble. A frisson of heat raced across my body. “Gods, I can feel you. I know how I affect you.”

“Eric, if I wanted to try something...would you stop if I freeze?” I asked, he leaned back to look me in the face, and I saw his eyes dilate widely at the implication.

“Unequivocally,” he promised.

“Will you touch me?” I brought his hand to the waistband of my shorts.

He nodded as if not believing what was transpiring. “Are you comfortable here? On the floor?”

The floor was hard, but the fire was nice. As if reading my mind, he was gone and back in a flash with the blankets from my bed. He laid them down and moved me swiftly on top of them, and it certainly was more comfortable.

He moved over me and kissed my mouth slowly as if savoring my lips. He moved down my neck, and I sighed at the heavenly feeling. He moved his hands to the bottom of my shirt, and I sent him an approving look, and he removed my shirt. His hands slid to cup my breasts under my bra, and I jolted from the electrical feeling. It was as if his every touch was on fire. He expertly undid the clasp and in the back and then stared at me, swearing in a language I didn’t recognize.

“You’re… perfection,” he told me seriously, and I blushed. He was perfect—a body of a marble statue. I was a plain, if sometimes cute, average art teacher.

Eric kissed the skin between my breasts and trailed down past my stomach, before stopping at the edge of my shorts. He looked up at me, checking that I was still okay, then he undid them and slid them and my panties off in one smooth movement.

I was completely bare before him. He took all of me in, and I felt like he saw every single inch of me, even the ones not visible to the naked eye. The ravenous look on his face made me feel like I was placed on a platter before him.

“My Goddess, I serve at your pleasure,” he finally said, his voice rough.

“Eric...please touch me,” I breathed out.

He began touching my sides gently, and it made me squirm, then he moved to the outside of my thighs.

“Open for me, lover,” he said, and I parted my thighs, and he moved between them. He said some more things in that old-sounding language, something like an exclamation crossed with a prayer. It made me self-conscious, and I repressed the urge to close my legs.

“So fucking beautiful. This pink flower here is mine,” Eric growled, and then, finally, he was touching me.

I nearly screamed. His first touch was so intense, and he backed off immediately. “I’ll have to touch you even lighter, my little live wire,” he purred as he grinned down at me. He then moved his hand back, and it felt powerfully good. His fingers were moving in circles around my bundle of nerves, and I felt like I would die. It was so much. Too much.

“Eric…” I begged him, “...please.” I was tearing up from the acute near delirious feelings coursing through my body.

“Let me taste you?” he asked.

I nodded. As soon his cool tongue touched me, I was obliterated. I was in the stars. I was swimming in an aurora of light and darkness.

“Jane.” I blinked, suddenly aware again of my surroundings. Eric’s face was above me. “You blacked out.”

“Oh....” I whispered, still in a bit of a daze. I noticed his face was all wet. “Is that...from me?” I felt my blood rush to my face as he grinned like a cat that ate the canary.

“Yes, you came on my face. Fantastically.” Impossibly, his grin grew wider.

“I’m—“

“Don’t you dare say that you’re sorry,” Eric cut me off and flopped down next to me. “It was glorious, and you have nothing to apologize for. Your pleasure captured mine as well.” I looked down and saw a damp spot on his dark trousers.

I made him come too. That was good, I supposed. It certainly made me feel less guilty for losing myself in him so spectacularly. Suddenly Eric’s fingers ran through my slick sex, and he made me jump in surprise as he popped his fingers in his mouth and moaned profanely.

“Come stay with me tomorrow night,” he said, and his eyes glittered darkly.

“Like come to Fangtasia?” I said, sitting up and shivering. My sweaty body was now trying to cool itself, and Eric moved to lie on his side next to me and draped a blanket over both of us.

“A whole night in, at the nest. Pam will take Jessica to the club.”

“What would we do all night?” I asked, and he looked at my bare skin and then back to my face. Something he saw there stopped him from his sly retort. He looked at me seriously.

“Whatever you would like,” he said, and he kissed my hand gently.

Eric certainly was good at making me swoon.

I nodded, “Okay. I still need to go into Shreveport tomorrow to look into jobs, though.”

“How is your financial situation?” he asked curiously.

“Stable, but rapidly dwindling as I need to get things done to the house.”

He nodded and thankfully said no more. He snuggled in close to me, and I relaxed against him. This was nice, and I would hold on to this - I would feel lucky that I had this. He grew even quieter and then finally murmured against my neck.

“You didn’t freeze.”

“No, but no one has ever done that to me before,” I whispered back, and his arms tightened around me.

“Your first time...he did not prepare you in any way?” he asked, his voice soft, but there was a dangerous edge beneath it.

“No.” I didn’t tell Eric that Alastor had doused the lights, ripped the clothes from my body, shoved my face into the bed, and pushed into me while I screamed—all the while telling me that it was normal and I was doing great. How, despite my pain, I had wanted to please him. How I had thought that he had loved me... I had thought I was dying from the pain. I felt a little nauseated at the memory, and Eric stroked the skin of my bare back gently until I felt normal again. I began to feel drowsy, and I wondered what time it was. I didn’t want Eric to leave.

Sensing my tiredness, Eric scooped me up blankets and all and brought me to my bed. He took off his clothes, save his boxers, and joined me under the blankets. I smiled at him and pressed my face into him, unable to hide my joy that he was here, cuddling in my bed with me.

“You’re so...happy,” he stated. “Because of me?”

I nodded. He didn’t respond to that, and we laid in comfortable silence. I thought about how lucky I was that I had found Eric. That in all the randomness of the world that I was able to meet him. That even though I knew this would end badly for me, that I could help but feel grateful for this exact moment for the circumstances that lead me here. For him.

“Eric?”

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you,” I said.

“What for?”

I stroked a pattern on his impressive chest. “For being you, I guess.”

He shook his head. “An absolute conundrum,” he said, exasperated.

As I drifted off, I thought that I still didn’t know what he meant.

*******
Eric’s POV - Sunday, July 5th and Monday, July 6th, 2009

Once I was certain that Jane was asleep, I left. I had a lot of work that I needed to get done tonight if I could take all of tomorrow night off to spend with her. I flew to the bar and checked on the prisoners. The AVL had arranged for the drainers to be taken into police custody and prosecuted, but it was taking too much time. I hated this aspect of the job and hoped that the Authority would soon work on a better system. I even placed a call to Nora, hoping to speak with my darling sister about it. I checked on Jessica, and she was learning about how to make drinks even though she was technically not old enough to serve them. If the Vampire Rights Amendment passed then she would be able to, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time. Pam told me that Jessica had glamoured Dana and sent her packing and would have probably would have killed her, but it seemed wiser to avoid killing if at all possible, at least in these times. I gave Pam the rest of the night off, telling her of my plan to have the whole night with Jane tomorrow.

“She’s unusual...for a breather,” Pam finally admitted. “I don’t hate her.”

I smirked. High praise indeed.

Pam went off to the home of one of her other pets, one she hadn’t seen in a while but had more trust with.

I stayed in the office and did accounting and got ahead on area paperwork. It was productive and busy and kept my mind off other things. Nearing dawn, I got a call from Isabel.

“What has he done now?” I asked when she answered.

“He defanged two younglings in front of the entire nest. They were feeding on unwilling humans and releasing them without a glamour,” Isabel said. “He made an example out of them, cursed at all of us in Norse, and then left. I would not be surprised if he showed up at your door.”

I grunted in agreement. It had happened more than once.

“Thank you for the warning,” I said. “I’ll let you know if he does.”

“He’s not stable, Eric. If anything, he’s more capricious,” she warned.

“Godric’s always been mercurial,” I told her. “You’ve only just known him during his enlightened calm phase.”

“I know what he was like before...everyone has heard of the boy they called Death.”

“Don’t ever let him hear you say that. He hates it,” I explained, and I sighed, thinking of bloodier times. “...but, it is accurate.”

“Please try to talk to him,” Isabel pleaded.

“I will,” I promised, and we hung up.

I went out to find the bar closed, and I thanked Ginger. “No problem, Master,” she said, and she left for the night.

“Ugh. Can we go now? I’m so bored,” Jessica groaned from behind the bar.

“Yes. Let’s go.” I saw that Pam left me the keys to the Audi, so I drove Jessica home, and she complained the entire way. How unfair it was that she was a vampire now, how she doesn’t get paid to work in the bar, how she doesn’t get to bite anyone she wants. I turned on the radio to drown out her whining. She was a lot like her Maker: irritating.

When we got to the nest, I ordered her to have another bag of blood, hoping that would improve her mood. It reminded me again that I wasn’t her Maker, and that we didn’t have the bond. She took it and went down to her room. I went out on the deck, and I called Godric.

“Isabel told you then,” he answered, sounding calm.

“Yes. Defanging younglings? Why not punish their Maker’s that let them run so rampant?” I asked.

“Their Maker wasn’t even here! Released after less than a decade! Can you imagine leaving your Progeny to fend for themselves like that? I had to make an example of them. They threaten us all, humans and vampires alike, with this outrageous savage behavior,” he nearly shouted at me, as if it was my fault they were poorly raised.

“Godric, I understand your ire, but you cannot take it out on those in your council. Isabel is worried about you,” I told him.

“She should be worried for us all. I fear for our kind. We never evolve. We only take and take. We will drain the world dry,” Godric sighed. “We only take; we never give.”

Back to this again.

“Perhaps you need a break. You could come to stay with me for a while. Or you could visit the Old World,” I suggested, and I heard him grumble. “You could meet my human, help me with a newborn I’m training.”

“I have no interest in meeting humans. I especially think that you need to be wary of the one you have described to me. And what’s this about a newborn?”

I explained to him how Jessica came to be in my care, how irritating she is, and how hard it is to control her without a Maker’s bond.

“Eric, this is a challenging undertaking. You should return her to her Maker even if it does not benefit you politically,” he advised.

“Her Maker is terrible. He was raised poorly himself, I…” I started, but Godric cut me off.

“There is no replacement for the bond. You can’t know how she is feeling and not having the control to stop her. It is only a matter of time before this goes badly. I remember when Nora was just a yearling how I let her out to feed and if I had not had the Maker’s bond with her—”

“Nora would have drained that old gypsy, and the gypsy would have cursed and killed us all. I know the story,” I sighed. “I will take what you said under advisement.”

“Very well,” he said. “What of Pam? How is my Granddaughter fairing?”

I explained to him the business of Pam’s pet’s betrayal and how it was my human that discovered it and came to inform me at once.

“Hmmm...interesting. How did your human know? That something was off about Pam’s pet?” Godric prompted.

“She just had a feeling. She said something was not right about her. She’s highly observant, I even let her pick who I should procure for the newborn vamp, and she was spot on,” I tried to explain.

“Or she is working a long con, and this other pet was in on it. Humans can be just as devious as vampires,” Godric replied.

“Firstly, she is not a pet. She’s mine. I have claimed her officially, and you should not take how seriously I take that as you are the one who taught its meaning and importance. Additionally, she is not capable of such treachery. She would not be able to hide her feelings in the blood from me,” I explained, more than a little irritated with my Maker.

“You care for her,” he stated slowly. “Rather than just for her blood or her body, that she doesn’t let you have, but for...her.”

“Yes, Godric. I do. She intrigues me in every possible way,” I admitted to him.

There was a long silence.

“I want to meet her then. I cannot be gone at present. Too much is happening but within the next few weeks.”

“You’ll see,” I told him. “When you meet her, you’ll understand.”

“We shall see.”

*****

The next night as soon as I woke and showered and dressed, I called Jane. She answered on the second ring.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“In Shreveport. I was able to get a job at the community college, but the course won’t start until September,” she explained.

“Can you come to the nest now?” I asked her.

“Well, about that. I have something I have to tell you, and it might change your mind if I should come to your nest,” she said, and I could feel her discomfort in the bond—her embarrassment.

“What?” I asked quickly, perturbed by her feelings.

“I’m...well, I’m going to start my period tonight. I’m already spotting,” she blurted.

Her period. Her cycle. She would be bleeding. I sometimes forgot. It had been so long since I had a claimed human, I hadn’t even thought of it.

“No. It won’t be a problem. Jessica won’t be here,” I told her, perhaps a little too quickly.

“Are you sure?” she asked doubtfully.

“I am certain. Come to the nest. You know how to get here?” I prompted.

“Yes. Will you come and unlock the gate?” I heard her ask, and her car door shut.

“I can, but I gave you the code,” I told her.

“I don’t remember it,” she said, and I heard her start the engine of her car.

Jane didn’t even remember the code and clearly had no interest in wanting to have any of the security information.

“I will go down and unlock it once you’re here,” I told her.

“Okay. See you soon,” she said, and I hung up.

I went out to the living area Pam and Jessica left, and I told Pam to let Jessica feed if she behaved but to watch her very closely. Pam reluctantly agreed.

I didn’t have to wait long until I saw Jane’s little SUV at the gate. I zoomed down and unlocked it for her, and she parked in the driveway. Pam would still be able to park around back in the massive garage.

As soon as Jane stepped out of the car, I was hit with the scent of her blood. Holy fuck. This may be harder than I thought.

“See! I knew this wasn’t a good idea,” Jane said, and I realized I had accidentally dropped fang at her like a youngling.

I snapped my fangs up quickly. “No, it’s fine. It was just surprising at first,” I told her, and Jane read my expression and believed me. I grabbed her bag from the back of her vehicle and escorted her into the house.

“Are you hungry?” I asked her, and she nodded. We went to the kitchen, and I opened the cupboard with the human food in it. She pointed to a can of soup. Luckily, we had pots and pans from one of Pam’s pets, so Jane could pour the red soup in a saucepan and heat it on the stove. I watched her sip the soup from the spoon she was stirring it with, and she wrinkled her nose adorably when she tasted that it was still too cold.

“How does your cycle make you feel?” I asked, sensing some of her discomfort in the blood.

“My lower back always hurts, and I’m usually more tired. I do cry more, too, so you’ve been warned,” Jane replied as she stirred the soup.

“How do you capture the blood?” I asked curiously.

“I use a pad. It’s just easier,” she explained.

I nodded. I knew what that was. I had seen a commercial on the television, it was much less gory than the true process, and they used a blue liquid to mimic the menstrual blood. It was preposterous.

She pulled her soup off the stove and poured it into a mug instead of a bowl. She sipped it, and the red soup splashed on her upper lip, reminding me vaguely of newborn vampire feeding.

“Have you ever thought about becoming a vampire?” I asked her, wondering what she thought about it. I felt her shock in the bond. “Not that I’m asking, I was just curious…” I finished, and her shock receded.

“No. Not really. There’s so much beauty in the day, in the light. I love the way it casts shadows. I...had never even entertained the idea of giving that up,” she said thoughtfully. “I guess, sometimes, I still don’t think of vampires as something that people can become.” Jane shrugged. She didn’t care about all of the other reasons not to become a vampire, the bloodlust, the never being able to have children, no for her, it was about seeing the effect of sunlight. I tried not to care for her a little more then, but it was hard not to feel infatuated with her. My little enigma.

“Did you choose to become a vampire?” she asked, taking a slurpy sip.

“Yes and no. I was already dying when my Maker offered me the eternal night,” I explained to her. “I chose it over death, but I don’t know if I would have chosen it over a life in the sun.”

She nodded and did not press me for details. So unusual. I had been prepared to tell her the story, but she didn’t prompt me any further.

“Would it be alright if I shower? I feel kind of gross from the heat and from having to talk to the Dean at the college.”

“Of course. Were you nervous speaking with the Dean?” I asked as she rinsed her bowl in the sink.

“Oh, yes. I hadn’t expected to, and it was nerve-wracking,” she explained. “But I guess I did fine because I’m going to be teaching beginner’s art in the evenings come the fall. Apparently, it was hard to get anyone to do the position because of the evening hours, but I’ve found that it would work out pretty good for me,” she said and smiled sweetly. This woman...she had no idea.

“Indeed,” I replied, and she took her backpack with her back to the bedroom. I went to the living room and looked through Pam’s movies while she showered. I wondered if Jane would like something as simple as a night watching movies. When she came out was with damp hair and lounge clothes on. Jane still smelled of blood, and my fangs were getting achy. She looked perfectly rumpled.

“Would you like to choose a movie?” I asked.

“Sure. What kind of movies do you like?” she replied.

“Ones that are not predictable.”

She smiled at me knowingly.“You must like M. Night Shamalan then?”

“What?” I asked, unsure of what she meant. “I haven’t had much time to watch movies recently. Pam will make me suffer through slasher films and soppy romances every now and then.”

“I know just what to play for you then. Hold on.” Jane searched through Pam’s massive movie collection and found what she was looking for.

“Unbreakable?” I asked, looking at the cover.

“You’ll see,” she giggled as she queued up the movie and snuggled up to me on the couch.

“Are you cold?”

“A little,” she replied, and I grabbed a blanket and tucked it around her, and she cuddled back into me.

The film was entertaining, and she jumped at the right moments even though she had already seen it. I found myself watching her reactions just as much as I was watching the movie. When the twist was revealed in the end, I was genuinely shocked, and she looked at me triumphantly.

“Not predictable, was it?” she teased, and I tackled her and started tickling her. Her little bell-like laugh rang out, and she wiggled and squirmed, trying to get away.

“Hehehe...Eric!” she said as she batted at me.

“I like that you’re ticklish,” I told her, stopping. “It’s fun.”

“You’re not ticklish?” she asked.

“I am, and no, I will not tell you where,” I replied.

“Hmmm...perhaps I will find it?” she teased.

“Perhaps, you will,” I offered.

Suddenly my phone rang - Pam was calling. That could not be good. I quickly answered.

“What has happened?” I asked, looking at the time; it wasn’t too late, only just past midnight.

“There’s something wrong with the key code to holding cells,” she started at once. I switched to Swedish.

“Are the prisoners trapped down there, with no one able to feed and water them?” I asked.

“The opposite, it’s not staying locked. Cell doors, too, we almost had a runner,” she explained.

“Fuck!” I exclaimed. That would have been a disaster. “Where are they now?” I asked her, hoping she handled it well.

“Still down there. I have Chow standing guard at the door,” Pam replied.

“Move them to the basement after closing. There’s that disgusting wheel system that the last Sheriff gave us. Have Chow assemble it, have Jessica on the door, and you can work the bar. After closing, move the prisoners down there,” I ordered.

“Yes, Eric,” she replied respectfully.

“I’ll get on the phone with Gideon and see when he can come out to work on the locks. I think he’s out of the country right now,” I explained.

“Of course he is. You know he did the locks for the house and everywhere else as well. If they all start failing, we’re fucked,” she growled.

“I am aware of that, Pam,” I yelled back. “I don’t need you reminding me.”

“Fine,” she replied, peeved that I yelled at her.

“Pam, don’t forget to give the humans a bucket,” I told her, and then I hung up.

I looked back at Jane. She looked alarmed that I was just yelling in Swedish.

“There’s a security problem at Fangtasia. I need to make more calls,” I told her.

“Okay. Can I go lay on your bed?” Jane asked, and I could feel that her cycle was causing her pain.

“Yes, let me code you down...Are you sure you don’t want the code so you can come up?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to know any of the codes for anything unless I have to.”

“Why?” I asked.

“If there’s ever a problem, then you’ll know it’s not me, and I won’t have to be glamoured,” she stated, and I understood immediately.

I let her downstairs and into my room, and she flopped on the bed.

“I don’t know how long this call will be, but I’ll come down after.”

She nodded, and I left.

I had a devil of a time tracking Gideon down, his progeny giving me the runaround. Once I had him on the line, I spent some time chewing him out. This could have been an absolute catastrophe. He promised me that he’d be over as soon as he could, which still wasn’t for several weeks, but he was setting up security for a demon. Fucking demons, I couldn’t believe he was working for one. Godric had made Nora and I memorize every single demon name and their traits and then forbade us from making any deals with the manipulative, massively dangerous creatures.

By the time I got all of that sorted, it was already after one, and I went down to check on Jane. She was propped up funnily on my bed and was reading a book.

“What was the security problem?” she asked, closing her book. I thought of how much to tell her. I wanted to be honest with her, but I didn’t want to scare her.

“You know that I’m the Sheriff of our Area?” I asked her. She nodded and set her book to the side as I joined her in the bed. “Just like a human Sheriff, there are sometimes when I have people in custody: human or vampire. I have several humans being held, one a dealer of V, two suspected drainers, another that staked a vampire. We have the holding cells at the bar, and we found out tonight that the electronically coded locks were failing. The prisoners almost escaped.”

She gasped. “Into the club?”

I nodded. “I’m having Pam move them to the basement, and we’re using the previous Sheriff's barbaric setup. It involves all the humans being chained and having to use the same bucket for facilities, but that’s all we can do for now until my security expert is back in the country.”

She shook her head. “That’s horrible. Can you get in trouble for their conditions?” she asked.

“Not at this time. In the past, most vampires saw humans as little more than cattle. The political winds have been changing on that front, but as of now, the conditions of prisoners are not monitored.”

“Do you have to kill them?” she asked softly.

“Sometimes,” I told her honestly. “Does that scare you?”

I felt for her through the blood. She didn’t feel scared. She felt...worried?

“Isn’t that hard on you?” she asked. She was worried about me. About how having to kill people impacted me.

Truly, would I ever understand her?

“No, it is simply the legal system. I must play by their rules,” I explained.

“Oh,” she replied. “That makes sense, I suppose. What will happen to your prisoners now?”

I shrugged. “The V dealer may get out, he wasn’t a drainer, and he had worked out an exchange of sex for blood with a vampire. That vampire has now gone missing. I have to hold the V dealer for at least another week, and then I will interrogate him again to see if he has any information as to why this vampire has gone missing.”

“Sex for blood? That’s just…” She made a disgusted face, and I could feel her dismay in the blood.

“As long as he doesn’t have any role in the vampire's disappearance, I will let him go, make him an informant.”

“And the suspected drainers?” she asked.

“Over to the police if the AVL can manage it, with a heavy glamour so that they don’t remember their time being held at the bar. If not, probably death. I will drain them first for their blood, but…” I trailed off. I was telling Jane far too much. It would frighten her, or disgust her.

“I guess if they have to die anyway, you wouldn’t want to waste all the blood.” She shrugged again. “I hope the AVL can get them out, though. It would send a better message politically for drainers to be arrested and charged.”

She was clever. And I was surprised that she didn’t have a stronger reaction to this information.

“Why does this not bother you?”

“I assumed that vampires had some sort of hierarchy and systems, just the same as humans. I disagree with killing, and I have killed now, but...I guess I just think that all systems need change. The vampire one doesn’t seem all that different from the human one. Maybe it’s less wasteful because you can drink the blood of people that are killed, where the police just gun people down in the streets, and don’t even get me started on criminal justice reform.”

“You disagree with killing? On principle?” I asked.

She nodded. “I… I guess I think that everyone can be redeemed.”

“Even the man you killed, the one that was trying to kill you, that had already murdered several women? He could have been redeemed?”

“Yes, eventually. I took that from him.” She swallowed, and I felt her guilt rise. “I guess that I probably did the wrong thing by killing him, but it was my only choice at the time.”

I look at her, astounded. Her compassion knew no bounds.

“Is there anyone not beyond saving?” I asked her.

“I would rather live in a society that tried to help people rather than simply condemn them. Maybe that makes me idealistic, but if you’re going to lock them up anyway, might as well try to give them some mental health skills,” she replied.

A practical idealist. What a strange creature I’ve found.

“Well, I don’t share your belief,” I told her. “I have a more...eye for an eye approach.”

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

Here she was, quoting Gandhi at me. I thought again about how much she reminded me of Godric. He would love her mind. They would debate for hours, talk philosophy in circles.

“My Maker wants to meet you,” I told her.

“He...he does?” she asked, surprised. “Why?”

“Because he’s curious about you.”

“Is he scary?”

I thought about how to answer. Godric certainly could be. Terrifyingly so. He wouldn’t frighten her on purpose, though. I would probably have to remind him to breathe and to blink.

“He’ll be on his best behavior,” I said, and she didn’t look reassured.

She turned over and was twisting her body, clearly not comfortable.

“You are in pain?” I asked her. She nodded

I thought of what Sylvie told me about how her orgasms helped her cramps.

“Would you like me to make you climax?” I offered, and Jane looked at me like I was crazy.

“What?”

“It will help with your pain,” I stated. “It may also make your cycle shorter.”

“I don’t know…” she trailed off, hesitating.

Taking a discrete sniff, I smelled her delicious blood in the air. I wanted it. Two birds, one stone?

“Perhaps you’ll let me drink from you instead?” I asked.

She looked at me, askance. “Won’t it be...messy down there, trying to bite me?”

She had misunderstood my intention. I needed to be more clear.

“When I said drink from you, I mean the blood of your cycle,” I clarified.

She mulled on that. “If I don’t like it...you’ll stop?” she confirmed.

“Of course. I will always stop anything, at any time, for any reason of your choosing. Even if it is simply that you don’t like it, or you're tired, or you're bored, there is never a reason or a time that I will not stop if you ask it of me.”

“Do you have a dark towel or something?” she asked, and I dug around in the half bath and found a navy blue towel.

She peeled her lounge pants off and then stood and slid her panties down, her pad bloodying her thighs.

“What should I do?” she asked.

“Lay here on the towel,” I told her, and she did. Her blood was oxidized and dark. I couldn’t wait to drink it. I peeled the pad from her panties, and I threw it in my biohazard waste bin. Then positioned myself between her glorious thighs.

I started by licking the stripes of blood that she had smeared down her thighs, and it was excellent. She moaned and gasped. Then I took my time licking the crimson surface of her sweet sex, she was writhing and gasping, and I had to hold her down lest she grind her blood onto my face. Then I spent my time alternating between teasing her clit with my tongue and licking the blood that seeped from her. I liked to get her right to the edge and go back to her blood. By the third time I had done this, she was nearly pulling out my hair and scratching my shoulders, begging me for her release.

My own body was begging for it too, and I felt wild. I could feel Jane’s need so desperately, and the blood from her womb was slick and thick compared to what I usually pulled from her thigh. I felt like I was getting an extremely rich dessert.

“Please, Eric!” she begged. “I need it.”

“I shall give it to you. Are you ready, love?” I asked her, and she cried in response.

I moved my tongue across her clit at a speed that would feel like vibration to her. She came almost instantly, pushing more thick dark blood from her body. As soon as I could, I was slurping it up, and it put me over the edge myself as I ground my hips against the bed. Fuck! So good, so fucking good. She did this every month? I was thanking my Gods for her, for the gift that was her.

She was lying limply against the pillows, looking utterly satisfied, and I felt pride that I had put that look on her face.

“You look insane,” she told me, lazily. “Your face is covered in blood.”

I licked off as much as I could, and then I went and washed the rest away. I also cleaned up the evidence of my own release, and I was disturbed by how used to that I was becoming.

“How do you feel?” I asked her, searching through the blood.

“I actually think it did help my cramps,” she replied. “Can you hand me the box of pads in my backpack?”

I found the little box of organic cotton pads and held one out for her. She took off the wrapper, and I watched the process of her placing it securely in her panties before sliding them on. I took away the towel, which didn’t even get any blood on it as I was sure not to let any escape. When I was back, she had her lounge pants back on and was getting under the covers. I got in with her and held her close like the precious treasure that she was.

“That was extremely enjoyable,” I told Jane.

“I thought I would be grossed out maybe, but you liked it so much, I decided that it must not be gross for you.”

“The exact opposite of gross. Delectable,” I purred at her, and she giggled. “Did you feel safe? No moments of doubt?” She smiled at me softly and cupped her hand to my face.

“Not a single one.”

Chapter Text

Chap 14

Jane’s POV - Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

I was surprised to find that Eric was already awake when I woke. He was typing away on his phone. Eric looked over at me, even though I hadn’t moved. He could sense that I was awake.

“Hello, lover. Sleep well?” he asked, putting his phone away.

“I guess so. I slept all day?” I asked.

“You must have needed the extra rest,” he replied. “It’s after three pm.”

“How can you be up so early? I thought you had to sleep when the sun was up,” I asked, remembering what I had heard on the TV.

“The older a vampire is, the easier it is for them to resist the pull of the sun,” he explained. “You need to stay downstairs until Jessica leaves.”

“Because of my bleeding?” I asked.

“She will not have the control to resist the scent of your blood,” he kissed my forehead as he got up. “Do you need anything?”

“Can you bring me some food?” I asked.

“What would you like?” he asked as he pulled lounge pants on.

“Is there any soft fruit?” I asked

“I will check,” he replied, and then he zoomed out. I went and changed my pad, throwing the old one in the biohazard bin. I wished I had my hairbrush down here, but I didn’t, so I tried to comb my hair out with my fingers. There wasn’t much down here, so I picked up the book I was reading. It was a biography of Salvador Dali, and it was interesting.

Eric came down with a bowl of canned pears. He brought me a spoon and a fork, not sure which would work, and I thought it was pretty funny. He didn’t think so, but he stayed and watched me eat with fascination.

“Describe it,” he asked.

“Soft and sweet. There’s a little grit, but it’s a good texture,” I tried to explain. “I imagine the flavor is the same as it smells.” He nodded.

“I have to go to Fangtaisa tonight, and I can’t have you there,” he explained to me.

“Okay. I can drive home,” I told Eric.

He didn’t look satisfied with that answer. “Or you could stay. I shouldn’t have to stay all night,” he suggested, and I saw that he would really like me to stay. I thought for a moment. I didn’t have any reason to go home.

“I can stay,” I replied.

“Good.” He grinned, and I saw him glance down at my stomach with obvious intentions. He wanted more of my blood. “I’m going to go get ready for the club.” Eric popped another kiss on my head, and I sighed as he zipped away. I spent some time in his bed, just lounging around reading my book. He came in and let me know that he was taking Jessica and Pam to the club and that I could come out in about ten minutes.

“Be good,” he said like I was a puppy he was leaving alone in the house for the first time.

“Should I say the same to you?” I retorted as I rolled my eyes, and he left laughing.

I got up and gathered my clothes, and I realized that I was still locked in. Eric and I both forgot that I would still be stuck down here. I sighed. Oh well. I would be alright. I figured that Eric had enough on his plate without me bothering him. I did feel a little resentful that I was trapped down here, but it was also my own fault as he would have given me the code to get out, but I didn’t want it.

I spent a few hours reading and sketching and just relaxing in Eric’s amazing bed when surprisingly, I heard the door click. I stood and approached the door cautiously. It was unlocked, and no one was there. Maybe the security problem was happening here too? I climbed the stairs and saw the top door was unlocked as well.

“Excellent!” I heard a female voice say. “Look at these, probably worth millions.”

“Stop gawking and start bagging. It was a terrible idea to do this at night,” a man’s voice said.

“What and try to do it during the day when we know that they’re here!? No, we’ll be in and out,” the woman’s voice replied.

They were burglars! Alarmed, I ran back down the stairs, frantically looking around. Where was my phone? I had to call Eric! I finally found it, but I quickly figured out it had died after repeatedly hitting the power button and nothing happened. I hadn’t even thought of charging it. What should I do? I had to stop them! I went back up the stairs, not sure what I would do. I went out and heard them rifling around in Pam’s room.

I looked around for something to defend myself with, and all I found was the super-sharp Viking ax Feigr. It took both my hands to lift it, but I was able to arm myself. I kicked the door open and was surprised to find Dana and an unknown man there.

“Dana?” I asked, shocked. “I thought Pam glamoured you!”

“She did,” Dana said, looking at the ax in my hand.

“Then, how are you here?” I asked, watching the rather nerdy-looking man. He had a thick neckbeard and large glasses. He was trying to edge closer to the doorway. “Tell me!” I demanded, pointing the ax at him.

“I wore a camera!” Dana said, terrified that I would hurt the man. “Here in my necklace.” She pointed. “Then when I would come home, Len would make me watch back the footage.”’

It was clever. I’d give them that.

“Neither of you are going anywhere!” I told them. “This is despicable! They trusted you!”

“Oh please! Pam just wanted to fuck me and drink my blood! And to dress me up like a doll!” Dana yelled. “What do you think Eric wants from you? To be your friend? No, he wants to drink your blood and fuck you and then throw you away like a used-up blood bag.”

“I have no illusions about what I’m getting into. That doesn’t make what you’re doing right,” I told her as I moved the ax toward her.

“You stupid bitch! If you let us leave, I will cut in you on the take—” the man tried to make a deal with me.

“If you try to move, I will cut you!” I yelled at him.

“Listen to the Valkyrie,” Eric’s voice breezed behind me. I turned to look at him, and he plucked the ax from my hands.

“Oh, fuck,” Dana said.

Eric smiled evilly. “Jane, go downstairs.”

I looked at his face… and quickly fled. I knew that he was capable of great violence. I just didn’t want to see it. I went to his room and buried myself under the blankets, thankful that I couldn’t hear what was going on upstairs. I didn’t want to know the details. I felt a bit shaky, just from having to hold the ax and defend myself. I thought about the last time I had wielded a weapon, about that strange moment when René died, and how odd that moment of calm was. How much I had liked that second of nothingness, even though I knew it was wrong. I calmed myself, thinking of that moment, and then I thought about what was most likely happening upstairs. Eric had already told me his philosophy on justice.

An eye for an eye.

When he finally came down, he was freshly showered and wearing only a towel.

“Jane,” he said, and I unburied my face.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Will you be alright?” he asked, caressing my cheek.

“Did you kill them?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “Glamouring was too dangerous, as it hadn’t worked before.”

“It worked, but Dana was wearing a camera in her necklace. She would go home and watch the footage,” I explained.

Eric nodded. “I will have Pam sweep their home and destroy all the evidence.”

“She was wearing it tonight too. I would make sure that footage gets destroyed for certain,” I recommended, thinking about the implications of a video of him murdering people would be.

He looked away from me. “I don’t understand you, you clearly disapprove of my violence, but then you want to protect me. Why?” Frowning, he refused to meet my eyes and studied the floor as if it would give him the answers.

I thought about that... It was true - I didn’t like the violence. I didn’t approve or think it was right. I didn’t think that he should be killing people, even if they were stealing from him. I guess I accepted it with the same attitude I did most people’s morality that I disagreed with. It wasn’t like I stopped Terry from going fishing even though I thought it was wrong to kill fish. And it wasn’t like I was going undercover at fur farms or dumping red paint on people, even though I was a vegan. I didn’t lecture my friends when they had a lot of risky sex in college. I didn’t go and picket and protest every instance of injustice in the world. There was so much wrong in the world that I wasn’t doing a damn thing about. I guess I just understood Eric, even if I didn’t think what he was doing was right. I knew what Eric was like. I knew what he was. I understood his sense of justice, of right and wrong. He was honorable, and that was more than I could say for most people.

“Just because I don’t agree doesn’t mean I don’t understand,” I replied. “I knew what you were like before. Killing them...doesn’t change anything.”

He sat on the bed, and his towel slipped lower, and I was distracted by seeing it sitting low on his fantastic hip bones. Eric looked at me with darkened eyes as if he could devour me with that look alone. The massive sexual tension between us heightened to unbearable levels. I felt as if I would combust.

“I’ve never wanted you more than when I saw you wielding my ax and threatening my enemies,” he told me thickly. “Your passion, your fierceness, your loyalty...it sets me aflame.”

He prowled toward me, his towel fluttering to the ground, his massive manhood hanging heavily between his legs. He threw the blanket off of me and had me pinned to the bed, nothing but my panties and pad between his hardness and my dripping core. He ground his hips against mine, his fangs down, scraping at my throat. Suddenly he ripped the panties from my body, and I was rubbing my bleeding wetness against him.

Then when I felt as if he would simply just slip inside me, my body froze. Ice in my veins, and I felt like I was back at that night.

“Stop,” I said, and Eric was already frozen. His nearly black eyes met mine, and he flicked his fangs away. He hurried away from me, and he sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m sor—” I started.

“Don’t apologize,” he interrupted. “I was overcome, I told you I would always stop, and I did.” He looked back over at me. “Trust takes time.”

I nodded. “I want to,” I told him earnestly.

He smiled. “I know. I can feel it.” He leaned in and pecked my forehead. “I’m going to go get dressed.”

I watched him leave. I flopped back onto the bed. I was bleeding lightly onto his dark sheets, and I decided that I didn’t care. He was the one that tore my clothes. My body felt all muddled. I was turned on and tense. I didn’t like it. I didn’t know what I should do. Eric came back in loose soft pants, and his fangs flicked down immediately.

“You’re bleeding on my bed,” he said.

“I know,” I told him. “You ripped my panties.”

He crawled toward me. “Can I drink from you?” he asked, and I nodded.

He licked me clean of blood and brought me quickly to orgasm. It was strangely...abstract. Like I was there and like I was not. Like I was at war with myself over what I wanted. I realized that I was crying in Eric’s arms. My blood was all over his face and dripping down his chin, and he was shushing me gently.

“I don’t know,” I told him.

“It’s okay,” he replied. “You don’t have to know.”

He held me as I cried myself to sleep, unable to explain my dissatisfaction and melancholy.

*****

Eric’s POV - Tuesday, July 7th and Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Jane had cried herself asleep and was still bleeding all over the bed. I slipped out of bed and dug through her bag. I put one of the cotton pads in her panties and pulled them up over her legs. Then I carried her upstairs to the bedroom. That way, she wouldn’t have to sleep in her own blood.

I walk out to the living room to find Pam and Jessica sitting on the couch.

“Well?” I asked.

“It’s done. Totally wiped,” Pam said, referring to Dana’s house and hard drive. “The geeky fuckface brother had found a way into the system digitally, he overrode the locks, but I don’t know how to re-engage them.”

“Fuck,” I said. “Fine. I’ll call Herveaux.”

“The wolf?” Pam asked with disgust.

“He’s the only one that can reasonably watch over our resting place for the day. It’s too dangerous to go to the ground unprotected. It will only be for tomorrow. I’ve called Godric’s technology expert to come in and install biometric panels in the nest. We can’t do them at the club, as I don’t want to have to do biometrics with the employees,” I explained.

“Fine. I’m going to ground. I don’t want to talk to the wolf,” Pam snapped.

“Jessica, you go to ground too and stay away from Jane,” I ordered. She rolled her eyes but did as I said.

I called Herveaux, and after negotiating some of his father’s debt away, he agreed to come to stand guard. I explain to him about Jane and how she would likely be up in the daytime. I wrote her note and left it next to her so she would not be too alarmed by the presence of this large man in our nest.

Dawn was approaching quickly, and I was glad that Herveaux was timely.

“Watch the TV, eat human food, don’t touch the door to the basement,” I told him with a bit of a glamour thrown in.

“You got it,” he said, his mind accepting the glamour. “You expectin’ trouble?” he asked.

“No, but I’m cautious,” I told him. “Don’t scare my human.”

He rolled his eyes. “If she ain’t scared of you, then I doubt I’ll scare her.”

True. She wasn’t even frightened of me when I told her that I killed the thieves. That was probably not advisable, but I had plenty of experience cleaning up messes. My Gods, Jane was strange. I looked in on her briefly, still sound asleep. I went down to my resting place, and I stripped off the bloody sheets, threw them on the floor, and put fresh sheets on. The scent of Jane’s delicious blood was everywhere, and it was making my mouth water. Getting into bed, I scented the salt of her tears. I thought about how Jane had cried, unable to capture the idea of her mind wanting me and her body not being ready. Her frustration and fear. I sighed, unsure how to help her; I knew it would just take time.

I let the sun pull me into day rest.

****

When I woke, it was to the sound of movement upstairs, which was unusual, but I knew that it was Alcide and Jane. I went up and into the bedroom and put on slacks and my signature black shirt. I could hear Jane chatting and Herveaux laughing with her. I tried to suppress my territorial nature, but I only had limited success when I came out. Jane was telling the wolf a story that I had never heard before. One that was making him guffaw in fits of laughter.

“So then you had to go an’ talk with the principal covered in paint?” he asked, snorting.

“And the head of the parent club and explain why we needed additional funds for the arts program,” Jane added, and he chuckled again, and I pulled Jane into my lap, I breathed in her scent, and it began to calm me. She was mine.

“No problems?” I asked the wolf, and he nodded.

“Nothin’,” he agreed. “I’m off then.” He stood

“Nice to meet you, Alcide,” Jane said politely.

“Yeah, Jane, you too.” He nodded to us and then left.

I resisted the urge to drop fang and growl at him. Jane was mine. I needed to stop feeling this overprotective and insane about her.

“He was nice,” Jane said. “I’m hungry, so I’m going to make some food.” I let her up and followed her into the kitchen.

“What did you discuss?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Mostly teaching and my students. He explained a little about how his Dad owes you money. It sounds like his Dad has a gambling problem.”

“He does. Alcide Herveaux isn’t a complete imbecile,” I wanted to add ‘for a wolf,’ but it wasn’t my place to be telling Jane all of the supernatural community’s business. “But his father has a problem and is in with me quite deep,” I told her as I lifted her on the counter so she could inspect the food in the cupboard.

“He seems alright, maybe a little...sad, or lonely,” she added.

“What makes you think that? Did he tell you he was lonely?” Leave it to Jane to completely miss a man making a move on her.

“No. That was just my impression,” Jane said, choosing a can of soup. I helped her down, and she got out her saucepan to heat it. It was so strange and...domestic, watching her heat the soup on the stove. It was a sight I could get used to.

“Hmmm… I am having new security installed tonight. Would it be possible for you to stay so I can get you scanned in?” I asked, hoping she would say yes. It would be the first step in convincing her to live here.

She thought for a bit while she stirred her soup, and I was once again reminded of how I couldn’t predict her. How utterly confusing she was. My phone rang. Godric’s technical expert, the abrasive Ms. Lovelace, returning my call.

“Ada. Lovely to hear from you,” I answered.

“I told you those codes weren’t good enough. But did you listen to me?” she had already started in on me. “I’m coming from Dallas tonight, and I wouldn’t mind the excuse to be gone for a while. It's been right tense here.”

“I’m happy to host you. Godric making things difficult?”

“Everyone’s on pins and needles. Godric threw a human pet out by the scruff yesterday because of his ‘offensive’ smell.”

I shook my head. Hopefully, he would come and visit and take a break soon.

“I’m not surprised. When will you be here?”

“A couple of hours, I just want to know what types of scanners you want, retinal, blood, fingerprint,” she listed.

“Is there any particular security benefit of one over the other?”

She spoke for a long time about the technical differences, and I was growing bored, but she eventually got to the point.

“With the retina scanner or the fingerprint in, it incentivizes criminals to take your eye or cut off your finger. The blood is almost always more secure, and someone is less likely to have it. Additionally, if someone were able to force your progeny to grant them entrance, she wouldn’t have to regrow a finger or an eye.”

“What about human blood? Can it be coded to work on both vampire and human blood?”

I watched Jane eat her soup. She blew on it with her full pouty lips, and I tried not to think of other things her lips could learn to do.

“You’re going to give a human access to your nest?” Ada asked, shocked.

“Yes. I am,” I replied. “Answer my question.”

“Yeah, it can, but...I’ll have to write a new code,” she replied hesitantly. “Does Godric know that you’re going to give human access to your nest?”

“Is that any of your business?” I asked in return.

“I’ll be there in a few hours,” she replied. “And have everyone present who you wanted to be coded in.”

“Very well,” I replied, and she hung up.

I heard Pam stirring in her bedroom, so I knew that Jessica would be up soon. Best to get Jane back down to my room before Jessica woke.

“Have you decided?” I asked her.

“I… Eric, I don’t want to have access to your security. I’m going to go home,” she said softly.

“I will give access without a glamour,” I offered.

“That would be worse!” she replied indignantly. “If something happened with the security, then you would be forced to think it was me.”

“The old glamour will hold for this new setup. It was worded that way.”

She turned away and rinsed her bowl in the sink.

“I don’t want to know,” she said, and she exited the kitchen.

Confounding woman. I turned around and found Pam leaning against the door frame. She looked at me like she didn't know me.

“You offered to let her have full security clearance to the nest without a new glamour?” she seethed. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

I thought for a moment. Perhaps I had. It was insane. I was insane about her. When I said nothing, Pam continued her tirade.

“After what just happened with Dana, I thought you would forbid pets from the nest, not give full access to one! What the fuck is wrong with you? You literally ripped Dana’s head from her body, and now you’re letting this blonde little blood bag—“

I had my hand around Pam’s throat before she could finish.

“It is unacceptable for you to speak to me that way. Mind your fucking mouth.”

“Yes, Eric,” she gasped, and I released her. We both heard Jane coming up the stairs, and Pam righted herself.

“Hi, Pam,” Jane said, and then as if sensing the tension in the room, she didn’t say anything else.

“Hey Sugar, you smell great,” Pam said just to get a rise out of me.

“Jane, you should leave before Jessica is up,” I said instead of giving into my progeny’s obvious bait.

“Oh! Right. Well, bye then,” she said awkwardly and then left. I could sense that she wanted a stronger farewell, but I wasn’t about to give Pam more fuel for her fire.

Jessica came out moments later, her fangs protruding. “What’s that smell?” she asked, sniffing. Jane’s blood was still lingering in the air.

“None of your concern. Go drink a blood,” I ordered, and Jessica huffed.

I retreated to my office to think and to avoid Pam. Unsurprisingly, I got a call from Godric that started with him already whispering to me in Old Norse in a tone that could only be described as deadly.

“You are not allowing this questionable human access to your nest. I will forbid it. I will issue you your first Maker’s command in over eight centuries.” His voice was somewhere between a growl and hiss, and it made all the hairs on my body stand on end.

“It doesn’t matter anyway because she didn’t want access,” I told him, unable to hide my disappointment.

“She what?” He switched back to English.

“She left,” I explained how she had defended herself with Feigr and how I felt she had earned my loyalty.

Godric swore at me repeatedly in Norse and then hung up. I didn’t know quite what to make of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw him later. Pam took Jessica to the bar, and I told her to have Chow check on the prisoners. She agreed but with a look that meant she wanted to have a more extended conversation later.

Ada arrived and had me pull all the key-coded panels while she installed the new biometric readers. Once they were all in, she had me place a drop of my blood on the main floor panel. She then said she could use that information to tie all the panels to arm or disarm with a prick of my finger.

“Where’s the human?” Ada asked, tossing her dark locks.

“How fresh does the blood have to be to work?” I asked, an idea suddenly occurring to me.

“Just has to be liquid,” she replied. I went downstairs and was able to wring enough blood from the sheets that I had several drops collected in a small cup. I brought it back up to Ada. She looked at me skeptically and then sighed. She coded Jane’s blood into the security system.

“Pam will be back soon, and she’s the last one,” I explained.

“A human and your progeny.” Ada shook her head, exasperated.

Pam and Jessica arrived at the gate, and I zoomed down and let them in with the finger prick. Pam was pleased to be allowed full access and Jessica threw a huge fit when I did not give her access.

“If I need to add someone else?” I asked Ada after ordering Jessica to go to ground.

“Just let me know. Godric has me on retainer for Dallas, the paranoid old man that he is. He’s constantly having me check security and do updates as well as fund my research.”

I nodded. She would probably have to come out and add Godric when he came to visit.

“Would you like to stay?” I invited her, and she declined. I decided it was because I had given a human access to the nest, even if she did not claim that was the reason.

Pam and I sat on that couch, both of us drinking bagged blood, waiting to see who would cave first.

“Do you love her?” Pam finally asked me, using her soft voice, that she saved just for me.

“I do not love a human,” I told her and myself. “Their lives are too fleeting.”

Pam was silent for a while. “Are you...going to turn her then?”

“No,” I replied, thinking of Jane’s love for sunlight and shadows. I would never take that from her unless it were the only choice.

“Eric...Maker. Please help me understand. You are breaking rules that you would kill me if I broke. You’re putting yourself and me at risk. I don’t understand why.”

I thought of everything from her perspective. I could think more clearly without Jane’s blood scenting the air making me manic and territorial. I could see Pam’s point of view. She didn’t see what I saw in Jane. To her, Jane was just a human, a pretty one, with excellent smelling blood that was perhaps a bit perceptive. She didn’t see what I saw, the mysterious enigma Jane presented, a challenge to my understanding of standard human behavior.

“I understand what you fear, Pam, and you’re right. I have broken some of the rules. Every rule has an exception. I’m going to ask you to trust me. In all of our time together, have I ever failed you?” I asked her.

I wondered if she was thinking of Sylvie as I was and how the Authority had made me choose between saving lovely simple Sylvie or my only childe. I chose Pam to save. As I always would. I thought about how I knew even now if I were forced to make the same choice again, between Jane and Pam.

I would still choose Pam.

That thought was chilling. And I realized that as captivated as I was with Slyvie, my feelings for Jane were stronger, deeper. That was disturbing.

“Never,” Pam said, and I could hear the rawness in her voice.

“Then trust that I will do right by you, and trust my judgment.”

“Yes, Eric,” she said, and then she turned and went down to her room in the basement.

I laid on the couch, and then I heard my phone start to buzz - Godric calling again.

“Is she entirely human? And are you certain she is not demon-ridden?” he asked when I answered.

“She’s not housing a demon, and she isn’t a Shifter or a Were. I would be able to smell it.”

He grumbled some more.

“When will you come to meet her?” I asked. “I would not have to have this debate with you if I met her.”

“Next week, if I can get away, and if not, you will bring her to Dallas.” His tone brooked no argument.

“Yes, Godric,” I replied.

There was silence on the other end.

“You’ve never met a human and just...knew?” I asked him, unable to capture my thoughts.

“Only thrice. And two did not stay human for long,” he replied.

I smiled, knowing he meant Nora and myself. “And the third?” I asked.

“Slipped away, smooth as liquid silver, as fate intended,” he replied, and the way he said that scared me. The hopelessness in his tone...his depression was deeper than ever.

I sighed. He meant the woman that had got him to feed almost a year ago. The one that had both prevented and exacerbated his downward spiral.

“Goodnight, Eric.”

I laid on the couch a while longer and thought about Godric, and the woman that had gotten him to feed. He was still thinking about her, nearly a year later, thinking that he should have turned her. I tried to imagine what woman would capture his interest this way, since he generally preferred men. I remembered back to when I brought Nora to him when she was dying.

I knew he would smell the stench of death upon her before I even entered the cellar basement, but there was just something about her… he needed to meet her.

Pushing open the door with my foot, I was unsurprised to find Godric in his new disguise, cleric's robes, and removing a plague mask.

“What’s this?” he asked, gesturing to the dying woman in my arms.

“I found something that might interest you,” I guessed, still uncertain about what I was doing.

“A dying woman?”

“I am,” Nora replied. “But I am not afraid.”

Godric stood and looked up at me, his gaze piercing me.

“You do not fear death?” he asked her as I set her on the chaise.

“He said that you are some kind of healer, that you could heal me, that I could live fully...and forever,” Nora told him, and Godric looked up at me sternly.

“She said I looked like destiny,” I told him. He nodded at me, watching her closely.

“Perhaps I can,” he said to her. “Yet, you said you do not fear death? Then why should I give you eternal life?”

“Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant taste death but once.”

Godric smiled at her beatifically.

“She’s quoting Shakespeare on her deathbed,” he grinned up at me, amused.

“I will never succumb to death. I will fight it,” she told him bravely, recapturing his interest. “I want to live.”

“Such passion,” he looked back up at me. “She’s like you.”

I nodded. I had felt that right away - she was cut from the same cloth as me.

“What if I told you that I am Death?” he asked her, stroking her hair of her brow.

She looked at him with dark eyes. “Then I would rather fuck death, than fight it.”

Godric laughed heartily then and had a light in his eyes I had only seen once before. It was the same look he had given me when I laid on my funeral pyre.

“You are mine now,” he told her.

She nodded, and it was then I knew that she had been right, that I had been right.

A look of destiny, indeed.

I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a newborn sibling now—a new little Nora, mischievous, with dark hair and an abundant sexual appetite. Nora had been such a handful as a newborn, but she had brought out the best of Godric. And now she was all wrapped up protecting the family’s interests by serving in the Authority. I missed her and our sibling bond; I felt nostalgic for those old times. I tried to call her again, and she still couldn’t get away to answer. Frustrated, I nearly chucked my phone at the wall but was able to reel in my anger. I wished Godric would have let me find that woman for him.

I would do everything in my power to bring her to him.

Chapter Text

Chap 15

Jane’s POV - Thursday, July 9th & Friday, July 10th, 2009

“You’re looking lovely as ever,” my silver-eyed friend said as we sat on the bench, his eyes running slowly over my form.

I smiled over at him. “Thank you. I’m feeling well.”

“Have you figured out what you’re looking for?” he asked, gaze shifting from me to looking over the ridge.

“Not really, but I keep finding hints of it. Maybe that is enough?”

He made a tsk sound. “Like your explorations with Eric, are those enough?”

I shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t like that he knew about Eric. “Why do I keep dreaming of you?” I asked him. “I didn’t have your blood.”

“No, you must miss me,” he drawled and smiled at me charmingly.

“You changed me,” I accused him. “I was fine before I met you.”

“You weren’t living before you met me.”

I woke up gasping. I knew that I had been dreaming of my silver-eyed friend, and I was only able to hold on to the last bit of our dream conversation. Most of my dreams were nightmares, so when I dreamed of my lost friend, it was always a pleasant surprise. I grabbed my sketch pad and wrote it down, and began to sketch him. I pulled the necklace he had given that night from my jewelry box, and I held it in my other hand while I drew, and I feel like I was on the verge of understanding. Like I was almost there. He was trying to tell me something - give me a clue. When I finished the sketch of my mysterious vampire, him giving me that ridiculously charming smile, I looked at the clock, surprised to see that it was well into the afternoon. I looked at the little hammer and put it back in my jewelry box.

It felt wrong to me somehow to wear it, now that I was Eric’s.

My phone didn’t have any messages, and I decided that I would go to Merlotte’s and see if I could get some food and check-in with Terry on his break. I dressed in a comfy floral sundress and a light cardigan and drove over. It wasn’t too busy, and I sat at the bar even though I could have gotten a booth just to catch up with Tara.

I asked her if she was okay after her whole getting a DUI incident that happened the night of Arlene’s party, and she explained to me that she was staying with a woman named Maryann Forrester, who was helping her get on her feet.

“That sounds nice,” I told her as she made me a non-alcoholic drink called an Arnold Palmer, which was a mixture of ice tea and lemonade.

“It’s kind of her thing. Helping people,” Tara said. “How are you doin’ since everythin’ that happened?”

“Fine,” I replied, not wanting to talk about killing René. “I’m going to be teaching an art class at the community college in the fall. I’m trying to figure out what I can do between now and then to make a little money,” I explained.

“You could always wait tables here,” Tara said. “We’re always short-staffed.”

“I don’t have any experience. I only worked at the bookstore throughout college.”

“It’s not like you need a Master’s degree to wait tables. Maryann says that people who make excuses are just looking for reasons not to be happy,” Tara replied.

I got the impression then that Maryann had the personality of a cult leader.

“I’ll think about it. I’m not sure Sam would even want me to work here,” I said, thinking of Sam’s fearful face the last time I was here.

Just then, Sookie came over, she looked completely healed from her beating, and I assumed that Bill must have given her his blood. She seemed extremely happy and perky. “Hi Sookie, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m just peachy, thanks for askin’.” She smiled ridiculously and looked...a little out of it. “Did you want to order any food?”

“Can you have Terry make me a milkshake? He knows how to make it without dairy,” I asked. She wrote it all down and bounced away.

“Is she always so...bubbly?” I asked Tara.

“She’s been like this since Bill’s been living with her. Everything is in technicolor now. The hills are alive with the sound of music. Love will do that to you, I guess.” Tara rolled her eyes, clearly still not a fan of Bill.

Sookie reminded me of the time I found out that one of my college students was taking drugs before coming to class in an effort to ‘improve their creativity.’ Sookie’s friends were writing it off as the effects of her being in love with Bill, but...something wasn’t right. I decided that I would try to investigate and figure out what was going on with her.

Terry brought my milkshake out to me, and it was nice to chat with him for a bit. We made plans to go fishing on his boat tomorrow, which made me happy. He went back to the kitchen as a rush started.

Sookie came over to chat with Tara, and I found an opportunity to talk to her as Tara went into the back of the restaurant to get more ice tea.

“Sookie, I know that you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I was hoping that we could be friends. You’re the only other person I know that has any kind of relationship with a vampire, and I thought, I don’t know, it would be good for us to have each other's backs. Do you want to come over after your shift and hang out?” I asked. I had never been too good at making friends, and it was probably a lot of information to dump on her all at once, but I didn’t really know any other way.

She looked a little stunned for a moment and then agreed. “Yeah, okay. Bill’s out of town on business for a bit, so I can come over after work.”

I smiled, and she did too, and I thought about how nice it would be to have a friend that I could chat with about vampire weirdness. She laughed, and I realized that she had read my thoughts before she walked away.

Terry’s milkshake was excellent, and I appreciated it, considering I had been living on canned soup and fruit for the last couple of days. I didn’t think that Eric had any clue that it would be nice for me to have food options that didn’t have to be in a tin. I chatted with Tara and some locals some more.

Suddenly a handsome, seemingly confident guy with a bit of a swagger came in and sat next to me at the bar. Squinting a bit, I stared and tried to think of where I had seen him before. He seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite place him.

Noticing my stare, he grinned and dipped his head toward me, “I’m Jason Stackhouse,” he introduced himself with a flirty grin.

I nodded. That’s right, the waitress that was dating him had pointed him out to me at the engagement party.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Jane,” I told him.

“Really?” He slapped his knee. “Get outta town. People said that you were too pretty to be a kill—” He stopped realizing that what he was about to say was insensitive. “I mean, people said you were pretty.”

I tried not to roll my eyes. Too pretty to be a killer? That’s what people said about me? As if pretty people couldn’t kill. As if people considered me pretty.

“Thanks. I guess.”

“Yeah, uh, no problem. Hi Tara,” he said, trying to break up the awkward moment.

“Hey Jason, you want a beer?” she asked him, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, thanks.”

She cracked a bottle open for him, and he took it and left.

I exchanged a look with Tara, and we both busted up laughing.

“He’s definitely got more looks than sense,” she told me.

I shook my head. I finished off my milkshake and decided I would take off. I paid, leaving a good tip for Terry and Sookie. I snagged her and found out she would be over to my house around 1:30 am, which wasn’t a problem for me, considering I had been on vampire hours for a while now.

I stopped at the store on my way home and made sure I had some beverages and snacks if Sookie wanted anything. Then I got home and tidied up a bit. Feeling a little gross, I took a bath, and I got a phone call from Eric while I was in it.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hello.” I heard the din of Fangtasia around him.

“Working?” I asked.

“I decided to take a break to see how you are,” he replied. “Are you swimming?” he asked with a bit of an edge.

“No, I’m in the bath. I was just getting cleaned up before Sookie came over. Eric...there’s something off about her, I mean, more than usual.”

“Off how?”

“I don’t know, I just...I’m worried about her, so I invited her over.”

“Bill will not be with her,” he said as a statement that he wanted me to confirm.

“No. She said Bill was out of town on business,” I told him. “What do you think that means?”

“I have a suspicion, but I don’t know for sure.”

“Hmm...well, I’m going to try to be her friend,” I declared. “Which I’m not super good at, so it will be hard for me.”

Eric chuckled lightly. “Good luck with your endeavor. I found her to be rather irritating, although extremely useful.”

“Thanks. I’m going to go with Terry on his boat tomorrow. My goal is to sketch a gator,” I told him.

“Be careful. Their teeth are just as sharp as mine,” he warned.

“I imagine that I would far prefer your bite to theirs,” I retorted, and he chuckled again. “Did you get everything set up at the house?” I asked vaguely.

“It is secure once more,” he replied.

“Good,” I said, getting out of the tub and pulling the plug. “I’m going to get dressed and ready for Sookie to come by.”

“Very well. I will speak to you later then.” We bid each other goodbye, and he hung up. I got dressed in comfy lounge clothes and braided my hair into two side braids. I went downstairs and made some tea, and Sookie arrived while the kettle was whistling. I turned it off and quickly let her in. I made her some tea, and we sat in the living room drinking it.

I imagined that it was hard for her to make friends as well. Always knowing what people were thinking, even the unkind thoughts that they would never give voice to. It would be difficult to separate those things out from what they actually said and did.

“It is hard,” she said, and I realized that she had been listening.

“I’m not very good at making friends either,” I told her. “I find people to be a bit overwhelming, and I don’t hear their thoughts.”

She laughed. “I’m glad you invited me over. I’m sure Bill won’t ever warm up to you, but I actually really like having him live with me, and I guess I owe that to you.”

I smiled. “Happy to help.” We both laughed. “Bill must love you,” I told her, thinking of him burning in the sun for her.

“He does,” she replied simply. “How does Eric feel about you?” she asked. I thought back to the way he looked at me in the firelight. I didn’t know.

“I think he cares for me, in his way,” I told her. “He’s not...my boyfriend, we’re not dating. He’s too vampire for that.”

She nodded and seemed to repress a bit of a gloat. “Bill is very in touch with his humanity,” Sookie said.

I thought about Eric’s mouth rimmed in blood. About the look in his eye as he took his ax from my hands.

No, not so much.

“Does Bill bite you?” I blurted.

She smiled widely. “Oh, yes. I like it. We exchange blood almost every night.”

“Exchange?” I asked.

“Yes, he takes my blood and gives me his.”.

“Are you worried about how his blood will affect you?” I asked her.

She shook her head. “No, I mean. It’s wonderful, and we’re so connected, you know? I mean, I can sense him right now. And he can sense me even though we’re apart.”

I nodded. “You have a blood bond, then?” I asked, remembering that’s what Eric called it.

“Yes, Bill said it would protect me further.” I nodded. I could imagine that was true.

“I’ve only taken Eric’s blood once. I’m not sure I would take it again unless I had to,” I told her.

She shrugged. “Well, you’re not dating him, so I guess that we’re just different.” I got the feeling that she thought she was better than me. That I was just a fang banger and that she had the real thing.

“I guess so,” I agreed.

We chatted a bit more, some about Bill learning how to live with a human; I didn’t say much more about Eric. Sookie was fine. I realized that we didn’t have a lot in common other than our vampires. She wasn’t overly annoying, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to spend a lot of time in her company without being irritated.

When we both started yawning, she took her to leave and invited me over for dinner one night. I accepted, and I was glad that I was on good terms with her. I took our teacups into the kitchen and washed them, and set them out to dry. I was thinking about her and her blood bond, and about being able to sense her vampire’s feelings. I wondered if that would feel intrusive or comforting. I couldn’t decide. Yawning again, I decided to put myself to bed.

Checking the time on my phone, I decided that I would call Eric. I wanted to tell him what I had learned from Sookie. I buried myself under the covers and let the phone ring through.

“Hello, lover. Going to sleep?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m in bed,” I told him.

“I’m done with my business tonight, but I’m still at Fangtasia,” he told me, and I realized he was trying to tell me not to touch myself.

“Oh. Okay. I wanted to tell you what I learned from Sookie,” I said, changing the topic.

“What did Cotton Candy Barbie tell you?” I could hear his smirk.

“She said that she and Bill have a blood bond now. That they exchange blood every night.”

“Every night?!” Eric said alarm colored his voice.

“I asked her if she was worried about the effects of the blood, but she didn’t seem to be.”

“She said they exchange every night and meant it literally?” he hissed his question.

“Yeah, he drinks from her. She drinks from him,” I explained. “Is that bad?” I asked.

“It is highly manipulative. In a normal blood bonded pair, the vampire drinks from the human and then would heal the human’s bites, with maybe a few drops of blood. To feed her the blood every night… it would influence her to a degree I cannot imagine. She is most likely addicted to the blood, and her feelings for him would border on obsessive.”

I knew there was something wrong.

“That’s terrible! Eric, what can I do?” I asked him. “She may be irritating, but she doesn’t deserve this.”

He sighed. “Do nothing. If Bill finds out that we’re aware of his treachery, he will abscond with her.”

“You’ll figure out a way to help her, won’t you?” I asked.

“I will think. I will try to figure out what Bill’s plan is. I cannot see his motivation other than her skill and her corn syrup blood. Did she say where he was on business?”

“No, she didn’t. I didn’t even ask, though,” I replied.

“Hmm... I think he may be with the Queen. I will see what I can determine.”

“Okay. I just think that I would hope that someone would do something for me, you know, if I were in Sookie’s place,” I tried to explain.

“Your compassion is endless,” he said as if it was a problem.

“I just don’t want to see others suffer.”

“My Maker would say that to live is to suffer.”

“How would we know what it means to suffer if we don’t experience joy and pleasure? And isn’t it a far more noble cause to try to increase those feelings than that of suffering?” I argued in response.

“You’ll have to say that when you meet him, he’s coming next week.”

“I will,” I said stoutly. My next thought was interrupted by a yawn.

“Sleep, angel. I will see you tomorrow,” he said, and I agreed.

I buried myself into my quilt deeper and found that I missed Eric’s arms around me. I wondered if he could feel that, and I tried to suppress the feeling. I was already so tired that I drifted asleep quickly. I had disturbing, dark dreams of shadows and a lingering touch of evil that I couldn’t quite shake when I woke. I checked my phone and found I only had an hour until Terry was coming to get me, so I showered and dressed hastily, and I found a banana that was speckly and needed to be eaten, so I made that my breakfast.

When Terry pulled up, I went outside to greet him, and he was pleased to see my jaw doing so much better. He played country music in his truck, and I learned the song and sang along and made him laugh. He took me to a different spot with different plants and new things for me to sketch. I loved riding in the boat, and it always felt a bit magical to me the way we moved so smoothly through the water.

We had an excellent laughter-filled afternoon that bled into early evening, and Terry had packed us some food, and we snacked and listened to the quiet.

“Where do you go when you’re not home?” he asked me suddenly.

“I’m with my vampire,” I told him. “He’s the one that’s making sure I keep my house.”

Terry processed that. “He called when I was taking you to the hospital.”

“Yeah.”

We sat in silence for a bit longer. I wondered what Terry was thinking.

“Jane. You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do. No house is worth that,” he told me, and then I realized that my bite marks on my thigh were visible. My shorts had ridden up with the way that I was sitting in the boat.

“I know Terry. He’s...nice to me. He doesn’t hurt me, and he doesn’t make me do anything that I don’t want to do,” I tried to explain.

Terry looked out over the water. “World takes all kinds. If he’s nice to you, an’ you like him. Then that’s good enough for me.”

“Thanks, Terry.”

*****

Eric’s POV - Friday, July 10th, 2009

When I woke up from day rest, I immediately felt out my bond to Jane. She was feeling strange. Achy and also happy. I wondered if I would ever grow tired of feeling her, of trying to understand her. I decided to go out to her home to see her after putting in my time at the club.

Pam was in a good mood, she had planned to go shoe shopping early this evening, and I took baby vamp to the club.

“Why can’t I feed on whoever I want?” Red complained. “Ugh…”

“Jessica. You must learn discipline, control. Did Pam talk to you about your other urges?” I asked her as we drove over.

“Ew. Gross,” she said.

Fine. I didn’t care to discuss it with her, and if Jessica seemed to be taking care of her needs herself, then so be it. Perhaps my turning and Pam’s turning were different than others in that regard. I had always been a highly sexual person, even as a human. My need was nearly unbearable when I was first turned. Pam, a sex worker, had been much the same. I supposed I could ask Godric’s advice on the subject. It was my understanding that all newborns were under the torment of such sexual needs, but perhaps it was just a heightening of what was already present when they were human.

We entered through the back of the club, and Ginger had already opened. Jessica went to the stock room and did inventory. I busied myself in the office and placed a few courtesy calls. I came out of the bar and found Jessica doing very well, controlling her impulses, and I decided I would let her feed tonight. The pierced and tattooed young man she had fed in before was back, and I would order Pam to let Jessica feed on him at the end of the night. And more, if Jessica was interested. I would be curious to find out the result.

I put in my time on the throne. I replied to emails on my phone, so it wasn’t entirely wasted time. I texted Jane to see if she was amenable to me coming out to her later in the night, but I didn’t receive a response. She didn’t keep her phone with her. She was often in her own world and would forget to take the phone with her or charge it.

Chow bounced some people who were getting too rowdy, and I had to toss out two younglings interested in the same human. It was the same trivial things that I had to deal with all the time, but it made the night go fast. Once Pam had arrived, looking delighted by her new pumps, I told her about feeding Jessica, and then I took off. I flew to Bon Temps, and I could feel that Jane was not at her house. I followed the feeling, and it led me to a creek, and there in the water floating on her back was Jane.

I stopped and watched her for a while, just observing her. Her long blonde hair was floating around and behind her, making her appear ethereal, the color glowing in the darkness. Her breasts were peeking above the water, perfect, shapely, and pert. Fangs aching, I felt myself drawn to her. I could not have stopped myself, as if I was caught in a gravitational pull.

“You don’t think it’s dangerous to be out here all alone?” I called out to her, and she looked over at me.

“Of course,” she said. “I think you would know by now that I like to live dangerously.”

I laughed. That was not what I expected Jane to say. I had been sure that she would deny it, that she would say she was okay, that it was safe.

“Shall I swim with you to keep you safe?”

“Why, Mr. Northman, I think you would be the most dangerous thing in these waters.” She was in a playful mood. It was very endearing.

“I most certainly would be, but I am not a danger to you,” I said, and I stripped my shirt and took off my shoes. My boxer briefs and pants came off, and then I was in the cool black water with her.

“You’re far more dangerous to me than you realize,” she said, wading in place, her hair slicked back from her face, and I saw that she wasn’t playing anymore. I paddled over to her and pulled her body into my arms.

“I will never hurt you,” I promised her.

She smiled mysteriously and shook her head. Then out of nowhere, she splashed me and slipped from my arms.

“You minx!” I said and splashed her back.

Our behavior quickly devolved into a water fight of splashing and me catching her and letting her escape. I tickled her ribs and made her chime out her little bell of a laugh until she cried for mercy. Once we had calmed, I just held her in my arms, listening to her heart rate settle.

“You must love the stars,” she whispered. She was looking at them on her back as I supported her with my arms.

“I do. Why do you think that?” I watched her more closely. How did she know?

“They don’t really change; if they do, it’s not by much. They’re basically the same, even after a thousand years. You can look up there and still see them shining brightly down on you. The same as they did when you were human.”

Chuckling fondly, I stared down at her softly. What was this creature? I held her a little closer.

“I used to use the stars to guide my ship as a human. I spent a great deal of time looking at them, and you’re right. There is something that is comforting in that. One of the few constants in an ever-evolving world.”

Jane smiled at me like she had a secret, and then she leaned up and kissed me. Something in her kiss said more than words ever could. I felt her through the blood that she was feeling content. I kissed her back, marveling at the feeling of her small plump lips pressed against mine.

“Let’s go to my house,” she said, breaking the kiss, and she swam to the dock and pulled herself up. Water dripped from the curves of her body, and I waded, transfixed. Her nipples pointy from the cold, the small tight nip of her waist that darted to her hips, and magnificently rounded spheres of her ass. She was unbelievable.

And she was all mine.

I swam and pushed myself onto the dock and kissed her, and stroked the wet glistening expanse of her body.

“You’re beautiful,” I told her.

She smiled and leaned her head against my chest. I could tell she didn’t accept that, but I would keep telling her every night until she believed it. She turned away and put her clothes on her damp body, and I did the same. We went to her car, and I got in the passenger side, and she began to drive us slowly to her home.

“Do you always drive this slow?” I asked her.

“Yes. I’m a terrible driver,” she admitted. “I’ve dinged this car on practically everything. If I don’t drive slow, I’m likely to hit something.”

“It’s because you’re always in your head, or daydreaming, or noticing the flowers, isn’t it?” I guessed.

“Maybe it’s because I get distracted by my passenger that criticizes my driving,” she retorted.

“I could be much more distracting if you wish,” I joked.

“Of that, I’m sure. But you’d survive our fiery crash, and I would get blown to bits,” she joked back, but it didn’t seem humorous to me. There was a moment of silence.

“If you’re ever injured again, I will give you my blood,” I told her.

“We’d still have one time before a blood bond would form, right?” she asked.

“It depends on the level of injury and how much blood I had given you,” I said. “If you were dying and I had to feed you a large amount, it could form a bond.”

She thought about that a while longer.

“Okay,” she agreed, and I wondered why she said it so simply. I forced myself to be satisfied with that acceptance because I doubted that I would be able not to heal her even if she had not agreed. I didn’t let my mind go down that path. We arrived at her house, and she surprised me.

“Want to get in my tub with me?” she asked. “It’s big enough to fit us both.”

I agreed quite readily, and she led me up to her master bath. The tub was enormous, and even I would be able to stretch out in it. She started the taps and then began to strip off her clothes, throwing them in the hamper.

“Your cycle is almost over?” I asked her.

“Just a couple of spots now. I don’t even bother with the pad, and I just wear my darker panties.” She tossed the navy blue pair with a little white bow on the front in her hamper.

I lost my clothes as well, and I saw her watching me.

“You get in first,” she asked, and I did. She climbed in and pressed her back to my chest, leaning her head against me. I couldn’t help the erection that I had, feeling her curvy body sluicing against mine. She proceeded to ignore the fact that it was pressed tightly against her ass.

When the tub was full, she turned off the taps and then turned around to face me. I felt her curiosity and arousal through the bond, and the look in her eye was that of someone facing a great task.

“Can I touch you?” she asked me, looking down at my fully erect cock in the water.

“Of course,” I said, trying not to sound too excited.

Her small hand wrapped around my girth.

“It’s...hard and velvety,” she said, in a tone of wonder. “I’ve...seen naked men before, for my art class. They were all circumcised,” she explained. I gritted my teeth against her teasing touch.

“It was not the practice of my people. Does it bother you?” I asked.

“No, I just...this is the first time I've ever done this,” she explained, and I heard her heart pound. “Show me how to touch you?” she asked, and I nearly died. She was so innocent, yet so eager.

“Grip me as you did before.” Slowly, she moved her hand over my cock, as I brought my hand on top of hers, beginning to move it up and down. Cursing, I clenched my teeth together as I forced myself to hold still for her - her touch felt fantastic.

“Like this?” she asked, so sweetly pleased.

“Faster,” I asked, and she increased her pace, watching my face. I was her science experiment. I certainly felt like a mock volcano, ready to blow at any moment.

When she twisted her hand, she realized how sensitive the underside of the head of my cock was, she continued to rub it, and I was done for. She destroyed me utterly, and I came calling her name, swearing to the old gods.

I opened my eyes to see her examining the pink liquid of my release dotting the water.

“Is it blood?” she asked, rubbing it between her fingers.

“Blood and dead seed,” I explained. “Why did you decide to do that?” I asked her out of curiosity.

“Well...it was poking me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

This woman. I couldn’t get enough.

Chapter Text

Chap 16

Godric’s POV - Saturday, July 11th, 2009

I walked around the open modern art gallery, trying to remember to pretend to be human. The clusters of people watched me with silent beady eyes, noticing my otherness under the bright lights. Even if I remembered to breathe and blink, it was unlikely that I could pass for human, at least not for very long. I strolled along the edges of the exhibit and stopped at a pencil drawing, hopeful. I forced myself to suck in a breath so as to not alarm the elderly woman standing next to the drawing. I knew that when I appeared unblinking and statue-like, it frightened the humans more than usual. I nearly coughed when the air hit the back of my throat; all the smells were assaulting. I exhaled all the air and stopped breathing again.

“It’s so nice to see a young man such as yourself enjoying the arts,” the old woman told me with a kindly smile. She smelled of mothballs, and I merely nodded at her politely. I turned back to the drawing, examining it more closely. It was not detailed enough, and it did not have the same startling realism that I longed to see again. The old woman was staring at me, and I decided I needed to move on before she realized what I was and either asked me irritating questions or became alarmed by being in the presence of a vampire.

Humans parted before me, a subconscious reaction. I wasn’t shielding my power very well, and my control had been slipping, I knew that. Isabel had all but told me that I needed to take time off, that I was vacillating between extremes and putting everyone on edge. I needed to not let my obsession with The Woman dictate my actions and behavior. I knew that I was behaving erratically, I knew that I needed to feed, that it would help me, but I couldn’t.

Nothing was ever good enough anymore.

I had gone to as many galleries and art shows in the city as I could - all in vain. I had hoped to seek out any art that looked like hers. As talented as she was, I thought it would be impossible for her not to be well known. I had moved the drawing that she had done of me from place to place over months. Sometimes, I kept it in my desk drawer, but I couldn’t concentrate on any work knowing it was there. I then moved it to a secure safe, only to find myself unlocking it to check it constantly. There were times when I even kept it in my pocket, folded neatly, the same as I had the night she had gifted me with it, but then I would worry about it getting ruined somehow. Currently, it was in my nightstand drawer. I would pull it out when the sun would not take me to sleep, thinking of her. I knew the strokes of her pencil better than I had known any other piece of artwork. I would dare to say it was even better than Leo’s portraits of me. I had no other photograph, drawing, or painting that captured me with a smile. I barely knew that my face could even make such an expression anymore.

After doing a quick lap of the exhibit, accidentally frightening more humans, I found that nothing even came close to the hyper-realistic work of the daring woman I had met. I exited the gallery, much to the relief of all those inside, and walked out onto the glittering sidewalk. The streets of Dallas beckoned me, and I began to prowl my territory. My first instinct was frustration, and I controlled my impulse to destroy the metal garbage can in front of me. I was losing my grip, wanting to destroy things because of my emotions. I was behaving like a decade-old youngling, wanting to throw a tantrum. I walked down the sidewalk, disgusted with myself, my frustration settling out to an accepting disappointment. I wasn’t sure why I was continuing to torture myself this way. I needed to stop doing this.

I needed to stop looking for her.

I paused in the middle of the sidewalk. People streamed past me on either side. They reminded me of schools of fish parting around a river rock. Only I wasn’t a rock, just a patient predator—a shark with a very good disguise. I chuckled darkly at the thought, ignoring the startled looks of the humans, and kept moving. Sharks couldn’t stop swimming, could they?

My hopes had all but dwindled. No, it wasn’t meant to be. I shouldn’t even be trying to find her. The Woman had both saved and ruined my undead life. She gave me something worth living for, and then she took it away. She offered me both forgiveness and her blood, and yet now it all seemed like the promise of a siren’s song; meant to lure me to a watery grave.

If I had been struggling before, I didn’t even know what I was doing now. My appetite before I had met her, I had been able to suppress. I had perfected the art of fasting. I was able to easily get by on single sips of bagged donor blood every few weeks. It was more than I thought I deserved, with how gluttonous I had been in my early years. Then this angelic woman appeared, convinced me not to kill myself with her mind-bending philosophy, forgave me of my sins against humanity, offered me her rare earthy blood, climaxed from barely a touch, refused the offer of my blood, and then...disappeared. I couldn’t feed now even though I wanted to! Everything tasted of ash in my mouth. I had eventually been able to drop fang on an AB negative donor to see if it could come close, but it was even worse than not feeding at all. A twisted fear laced perversion of what I had that night; that fear tasted like poison. I hungered only for her blood, and even the donor that was clean of pharmaceuticals did not have her fresh, pure taste. That earthy wildness I wanted to devour.

I connected to her on some level I could not explain. I saw her, and she saw me, and we had a perfect moment of symbiosis. She was mine, and perhaps for the first time in my entire existence, I felt as if I could be hers. It was something I had never imagined would be possible for me. But I let her melt away, too overcome to think clearly. I was too astounded by her beauty, her courage, her total lack of fear, and my own utter confusion as to what she had done to me.

She intrigued me more than I thought was possible. Nothing surprised me anymore until I saw tears well from her eyes when I told her that she made me have doubts - that I was not certain that I wanted to meet the sun. Human tears of joy simply at the thought of my continued existence. She spoke to me in a way that no one ever had; she understood something inside of me that I had not allowed out. I was vulnerable with her; I was honest, and she was…

Indescribably perfect.

I wanted to find her, but not so much that I was willing to admit it to Eric. He would go too far, I was certain. He would bring her to me against her will, and he would frighten or glamour her. No, I wouldn’t subject her to his particular brand of care; his intense loyalty for me would overrule his common sense. My empty stomach churned at the thought of what Eric might do to her. Images of Eric’s past exploits floated through my mind; I would not put it past him to tie her up and simply carry her off over his shoulder, the same manner that he had brought me offerings before. I turned down a side street and forced my mind to turn away from the subject. I could torture myself with it later.

She consumed my thoughts constantly. Even now, as I crept along the street, I thought of her. Of her soft, wise words, her innocent doll-like beauty, of the advice she had given me. ‘What you have to do is give.’ I tried to do as she had recommended. I offered instead of taking; it went against my nature to do so. I was used to taking whatever I wanted, keeping it for myself, hoarding it for my own use. I took Eric, I plucked him from the battlefield, offered him the eternal night, and he accepted. I took Nora as well, her also on her deathbed. I smiled softly, recalling her telling me she’d rather fuck death than fight it. Gods, I missed her. That vixen was as clever as she was dangerous. Perhaps, it was my estrangement from her that had exacerbated my slide into depression. She claimed that she was working on our behalf in the Authority, it was her way of trying to make me proud, yet it only made us grow farther apart. I rubbed my chest absently, trying to wrest away the feeling of our severed bond. I comforted myself with the strong presence of Eric’s bond in my heart.

I had wandered from the bustle of the crowded downtown area and allowed myself to exhale. The night air was still warm, and I looked up, unable to see any stars, the sky a cloak of navy. It felt oppressive as if it was pushing down on me. I looked at the trash and plastic skittering along the pavement in the dry summer heat and resisted the urge to sneer - humans, filthy creatures. I tried not to be disgusted by them, but humanity as a whole did not impress me. Individually it was hit or miss. Some humans were not so offensive and not any different than vampires, really. Some were honorable, and some were not. I had no room to hate humans anymore. I had inflicted too much violence on them; I was no better. The horror I had wrecked…I pushed the memories to the back of my mind. No, best not wallow. It was a sunrise I needed to let go of...

My thoughts were drawn back to what my mystery woman had told me to do. I attempted to forgive myself for my wrongdoings, to put my self-hatred to rest. But it lingered on the edges of my mind - that vampires were only meant to take. That all I was meant to do was take. I dealt with their petty problems, their worsening mistakes, night in and night out. But the bitter fact was that we were not getting better - we were getting worse. We were not evolving. We were not learning or bettering ourselves, and no matter our long years, we were still savages.

The only way I knew to deal with them, to control them, and stop their reckless and brutal behavior was to stoop to their violence. They did not understand the reasoning and certainly not compassion. They only responded to strength. I felt myself becoming what I most hated. I could not see how to be the vampire I wanted and prevent the systematic spread of barbarity in my city. It only added to the rhetoric of the humans that sought to bring violence against us.

I was beginning to agree with them.

My meandering led me to a seedier part of town. I knew that this was a common hunting ground, and I kept a wary eye for illegal activities. Dallas was a breeding ground for deplorable behavior. Too many younglings, not enough strong Makers. Modern times had given rise to a terrible lack of familial vampire ties. So many were turned for a purpose, never taught the proper skills, and then were released when they outlived their novelty or use. Nothing was sacred anymore, and no one had any shame about their lack of honor and integrity. I saw no way forward for our kind, just a slow slide into depravity, not the moderation I tried to preach.

It was futile to hope for more.

I turned my head sharply when I heard the sound of a muffled whimper. I shot swiftly toward the cry and found myself in a narrow alley, wedged between two old brick buildings.

“Mmmm… I'm gonna drain you dry, darlin’,” a deep voice growled, and a muffled cry followed it.

A tall lean vampire had a woman pressed against the brick wall. I could smell the salt of her tears and see just a peek of fine blonde hair. My thoughts turned immediately to The Woman. My stomach dropped out from beneath me. I tried to scent the air for the smell of that rare AB negative that I longed to taste again, and I pulled the vampire off the blonde, only to find it wasn’t the sweet face that haunted me.

But it could have been. That was what scared me most, what our kind could do to her. The very violence I myself could so easily inflict on her. Take, take, take. It’s all we did; it’s all we could do.

It was, perhaps, the only thing I did well.

I turned on the vampire, furious. I had completely stopped shielding my power, and the youngling cowered before me. He couldn’t be more than a couple of years turned; where was his Maker?

“Your name!” I ordered him to tell me.

“Cyrus Sizemore, Sir.”

He knew nothing. In my city and didn’t even know to address me as Sheriff!

“Where’s your Maker?”

“I’m released, Sir,” he trembled out.

I could not suppress my rage. The snarl that escaped my throat made the youngling press his face to the dirty alleyway. I suppressed the urge to put my boot on the back of his head. What had these modern times come to? Yearlings just released! Doing live feeds in public where anyone could come along?! I turned back to the blonde, she was holding her bleeding neck and sobbing. She clearly wasn’t willing and hadn’t even been glamoured either.

In my frustration and fury, I grabbed the youngling’s scruff and pulled him to his feet.

“I am the Sheriff of Dallas, and you are violating at least three major ordinances in my city and at least two edicts that come from the Queen herself!” I growled, and he did not seem surprised. He knew the laws yet violated them anyway. Despicable.

“Your sentence is defanging, and it will be carried out...immediately.”

It was easy for me to pry his small fangs from his screaming mouth. His blood slushed from the holes and poured onto me, coating my hands. It was a sight and feeling I was all too familiar with, and that infuriated me even more. I was such a monster that I was comfortable with blood on my hands.

The youngling howled a pathetic sound. Didn’t he realize such brutal ways of feeding were beneath us now? Why did they do this? When it was not required for survival anymore? Did these youths know how fortunate they were that they did not have to resort to such barbaric tactics in order to eke out a meager existence? The stains that such behavior would leave on their soul? If we had souls at all!

When I was done carrying out my brand of justice, I tossed the youngling a good several yards farther than I should have in my anger, he hit the building across from the alley, and I saw him speed away. I hoped that he left my city for good.

I glamoured the girl and came out of the alley. But I was not alone. I was surrounded by quivering humans armed with silver nets and guns full of what I assumed were at least silver, if not wooden bullets. The insignia on their jackets marked them as members of the Fellowship of the Sun. The Anti-Vampire church had been attempting to capture a vampire for some time now. I could have killed them all where they stood. They were no more dangerous to me than if they were ants trying to mount an assault against me. It was almost laughable.

How simple it would have been, how I could have slit their throats and gorged on their blood. But I agreed with them in some ways now. I was done with the hatred. I was tired. Tired of the depravity of my kind. Tired of the monster inside myself. I wasn’t capable of living an existence that let me give. I would give one last thing. My life. Just as The Woman had said. ‘What you have to do is give’, her phrase was like a melody that wouldn’t leave my mind. It played over and over.

I let them take me.

I could have even shrugged off the silver net they threw on me; it was so impure. But I did not. I had lost hope. I had lost her.

Eric would lose his mind when he found out that I had done this. I allowed them to place a black bag on my head. I heard them speak of hellfire and damnation, of how I would pay for my sins. When the vehicle stopped I was forced out and the bag was removed from my head. There before me stood the young man that had taken over his father’s congregation after Stan had murdered his father.

Steven Newlin.

“Well done, fellas. Now, didn’t I say that the Lord would reward patience? And here he has delivered, just as he has delivered us all from Darkness. Praise His Light!”

His men murmured in agreement, pleased by the reaction of their leader. I had seen the behavior many times before. How the weak always bowed before the confident and charismatic. How easily they were manipulated.

“I offer myself, I come with you willingly, so that I may give my existence,” I told him, and he smiled.

“Gabe, take our guest to his new quarters,” the Reverend ordered.

“C’mon, Fanger,” the man called Gabe ordered me and pushed me forward. Gabe, short for Gabriel. He had the name of an angel, how very fitting. Although angels were exactly the same as demons, save where they called home.

They brought me into a church and I was led down a series of stairs, but what I found when I was brought inside the room surprised me.

A silver-barred cage with pure silver bars.

If I ever had any intention of escaping… I wouldn’t be able to now.

*****

Eric’s POV - Saturday, July 11th, 2009

My plan with figuring out Jane was going nowhere. She was sitting on a stool in the kitchen, permitting Pam to do her makeup, and I was pretending to get work done in the office, but instead, I was listening to them talk. I had wondered briefly why Pam hadn’t just taken Jane into her own bathroom to do her makeup, but then I figured that she didn’t want to share her fancy cosmetics with Jane. I closed my eyes and listened as Jane told Pam why she didn’t usually like bars or clubs.

“So then what?” Pam asked.

“Well, he was groping me, and I was sick of it. I had already told him no several times...So I slapped him,” Jane explained. Pam let out a soft snort, which for anyone else would be equivalent to a chuckle.

“Close your eyes,” Pam ordered. “I imagine he wasn’t too pleased about that.”

“No. He was not. He broke my wrist,” Jane replied dryly. “I couldn’t draw for over a month, but I learned a lesson.” I could hear the smile in her voice, what a strange thing she was, smiling while describing how a man broke her wrist. “I learned that I didn’t like clubs or men.”

Pam cackled out right then.

“Open. Well, Eric will probably kill any man that so much as looks at you the wrong way and would probably kill their whole family if they broke your wrist, so you needn’t worry.”

I swallowed. It wasn’t untrue.

“Well, I certainly don’t feel unsafe at Fangtasia. Most of the time,” she amended.

“Hmm...blot,” Pam ordered her. “Men are terrible. Greedy, arrogant, and stupid.”

“Not Eric,” Jane mumbled as though something was in her mouth.

“Well, he’s not stupid. Mostly,” Pam agreed. “He saved me from men.”

I sat frozen. Pam didn’t tell anyone how I saved her from an unpleasant future. Godric and Nora were the only other creatures who knew what Pam’s life was before I turned her.

“You saved him right back,” Jane replied, and it was true. How Jane had figured that out, I had no idea. Before Pam’s turning, I had lost purpose. I was idle and wandering. Godric had been worried that I would get myself killed, so bored I was with my existence. If Pam had not forced my hand to create her...I doubt I would have survived.

“Make up complete. Time to dress you,” Pam said, moving away from the uncomfortable topic. She had already said more than she wanted to.

“I don’t know about this, Pam…” Jane tried to protest, but Pam had already dragged her into her room and shut the door.

Unable to hear them, I was finally able to complete some work, and I was surprised when Pam’s door opened, and she announced that it was time to go. I went out to the living room, and I found that Pam had dressed Jane like a sweet gothic fang banger. I was torn between loving it and hating it...

Her dress was black but with a white collar that reminded me of fashion from long ago, but the dress’s length was relatively short, and Pam had put her into thigh-high stockings and high-heeled shoes, so unlike Jane’s everyday flats. Her hair was pulled up into two high pigtails, giving her the innocent look of a schoolgirl, with the darkness of a vampire. I was both offended that Jane was dressed this way, as it seemed beneath her somehow, yet I was painfully aroused by her looking like the sexually confident women that usually flooded the bar.

“Let’s go,” I said, deciding not to comment. “Red, time to go,” I shouted, and Jessica came out, looking disgruntled. She stomped out to the car, and I was reminded once again that I was not her Maker and I had no idea what she was feeling. I could not tell if she was truly upset or if she was just being a pouty baby vamp.

Pam got in the back of the car with the baby, and Jane slid in the front, accidentally flashing me her innocent white cotton panties. I gripped the steering wheel harder, and I glared at Pam through the rearview mirror. She grinned at me, and I could see that she was enjoying this. My Progeny certainly knew how to tease me.

When we reached the club, Ginger had opened, and Chow was just arriving at the door. I asked him about the prisoners, and he said he hadn’t had a chance to check but that Ginger was doing her job and staying on the premises during the day. Jane sat at the bar, and one of the new bartenders made her a tequila sunrise, which she seemed to want to look at more than she wanted to drink. I left her there to attend to the prisoners, all of whom were terrified and filthy. I hated having them in the basement. The foul scent alone was reason enough, but the added layer that it wasn’t nearly as secure as the cells was all the more reason to hate this temporary setup. Gideon needed to get his ass back into the country to fix his fucking locks so I could get the prisoners out of the nasty dungeon of the basement and into the holding cells where they belonged.

After I left the disgusting basement, Pam told me that a vampire was requesting to speak with the Sheriff. Pam had left him in my office, and I went in to see that it was just a request to move into my Area. I gave him the basics of the rules and regulations here, and he left with no fuss, barely speaking at all. I didn’t have many requests, as no one really wanted to live in this backwater.

When I went back out to the bar’s central area, it was packed, and Jane was sitting uncomfortably at the bar, two fang bangers, one with clearly dyed black hair and the other with multiple piercings on her face next to her chatting. They all looked at me as I entered, and I heard the hushed squeals. Jane rolled her eyes behind their backs, but they looped her into their conversation.

“Isn’t he just...so hot!” Black Hair said dreamily.

“He’s, like, sex on a stick,” Piercings replied.

Jane coughed, trying to cover a laugh. They both looked at her with glares.

“You’re just jealous because he wouldn’t look twice at you,” Black Hair said.

Jane looked down at her drink. The look on her face and her feeling through the blood were...as if she believed them, which was just plain ridiculous. I went over and looked at the two fang bangers, pretending to eye them with interest. They were users of V. I could smell the mixtures of vampire blood beneath their skin. Disgusting. They preened like peacocks under my attention. My eyes slid from them to Jane.

“Jane?” I said, and I offered her my hand. She accepted it, and I led her up to the throne and placed her on my lap, having her sit sideways so that no one else would get even a hint of her tiny white panties.

I looked over at the two fang bangers who were glaring daggers at Jane. That was hilarious. Jane didn’t look particularly pleased by the whole exchange, but I quickly distracted her by trailing my fingers over the edge of the thigh-high stockings she wore.

“What do you think of this look?” I asked her, curious as to why she let Pam dress her this way.

“It’s fun to play pretend. I feel like I’m in a costume,” she said. “But it’s not really for me.”

I nodded. “I don’t know if I like it,” I told her. “It’s alluring...but not at all you.”

She smiled that mysterious smile again. “You’re figuring out your riddle.”

“Not even close,” I whispered in her ear.

We spent the rest of the night on the throne, making observations, trailing my hands over her thighs making her squirm delightfully. She would notice the strangest details and make uncannily accurate readings of people's moods. I had to get up and deal with problems a few times, and she would wait, not sitting on the throne even though I told her it was permitted. It was toward the end of the night, and Jane was wriggling her luscious backside against me when Pam came up and told me the problem.

“Ginger shouldn’t stay tonight. She let herself get drained too much. She won’t be awake to mind the premises,” Pam explained.

I sighed. “Who else do we have?”

“No one,” Pam said.

“I can stay,” Jane offered. “I don’t mind.”

“No,” I said out of hand.

“Eric—” Pam started. But I silenced her with a glare.

“What are your objections?” Jane asked.

None of my objections were reasonable. I just wanted her with me, not here. I mulled on that, and she looked at me expectantly, and I conceded.

“Fine.” I turned to Pam. “Take baby vamp back to the nest,” I ordered, and she led a petulant Jessica out, and the bar was finally empty.

“Don’t go into the basement at all,” I told Jane. “Even if they’re screaming,” I warned her.

She nodded, her eyes wide.

“If there is an emergency, there is a gun under the cash register, but don’t try to lift the sword under the bar. It’s far too heavy for you to wield.” She gulped. “There should be no reason that you’ll have to use the gun. This is just a precaution. Ginger will be here at 3:00 pm to do some inventory and open the bar, and then you can come to the nest and then go home if you wish,” I explained.

She got off my lap and looked under the cash register for the gun. She found it and then put it back.

“Do you need anything else?” I asked, trying to think of what she would do during the day.

Jane looked around for a moment and then looked back at me over her shoulder.

“Needs are interesting, aren’t they?” she commented idly, and I was struck with how it was precisely the kind of thing Godric would say. “What constitutes a need?”

The look she gave me was lustful.

“A need is something you’ll die without,” I rumbled at her. “Do you have a need that I can help you with?” I stepped into her space. She grabbed the sides of my jacket and then smiled at me knowingly.

“I think I’m the one that can help you with your needs. You need my blood.” She turned the tables on me so rapidly.

“Yes,” I rasped.

“Then, take what you need,” she demanded, and suddenly I was setting her on the bar, and I was kneeling between her sumptuous thighs.She was mewling delightedly as I licked her thigh in preparation for my bite. My fangs were already aching, and I just wanted to slide them into her and never let her go. I tried to temper my bite, but I was a little rougher than I wanted. Her response was to groan helplessly, already giving over to her love of my fangs penetrating her flesh. I pulled her fresh blood into my mouth. Its texture was smooth and silky, and the taste of her was pure and rare. I milked her divine blood with the suction of my lips and felt her getting closer and closer to her climax with every pull. I wanted to keep going, knowing how close she was, but she was so small, and I had already pulled too much. I had to stop.

“No, please, don’t stop,” she begged.

“Let me taste you, lover,” I asked, pulling her panties to the side. The sopping wet pinkness of her was just as mouth-watering as her blood.

“Yes, please,” she moaned as her fingernails bit into my shoulders.

I attacked her with vigor, shielding myself from her feelings, the strength of her pleasure too much and I had to get her to finish. She was screaming my name loud enough that I thought the liquor bottles behind me would rattle. When she came, she dripped all down my face, and I loved it. I loved knowing how much pleasure she received from me.

I stood, and she rested her head against my chest.

“Needs are very interesting, aren’t they?” she said, still panting. I laughed.

“Did you need that?” I asked her, tilting her chin up, brushing her hair off her damp brow.

She looked up at me with pure, honest cyan eyes, and I felt an unnamed rush of feeling from her in the bond.

“I just need you.”

*****

Jane’s POV - Sunday, July 12th, - Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

My day of babysitting the bar passed slowly. I sketched and read. I ate peanut butter from the jar with a spoon, as it was the only food that I found that I deemed acceptable. I washed it down with ginger ale. Vampires sure had changed my diet. I looked down the hall and saw doors to rooms I hadn’t been in. I knew better than to try to investigate further; there were definitely things about Eric that I didn’t want to know. Ginger came in at three, and I was surprised to see that there were already a few people in line waiting to get in.

Raven and Bella, the two women that had been so interested in Eric and so angry at me when he invited me to the throne, were the first in line and jeered at me as I walked out in the same gothic outfit Pam had picked out for me the night before. I supposed it looked like I was doing what was called a ‘walk of shame.’

“What a fucking slut you are!” Raven yelled, pushing my shoulder as I tried to walk by. Her rage and jealousy were evident. I continued to try to ignore them and tried to walk around them. I attempted to walk down through the alley that would take me toward Eric’s house, but they got in front of me and blocked my path.

“Let me pass,” I said in my most stern-sounding voice—the one I used in the classroom if students were doing something dangerous.

“I don’t think so,” Bella spat. “Tell us what you did to get Eric to notice you.”

I suppressed my eye roll. “I didn’t do anything. He just noticed me,” I told them. “Let me by.”

“Bitch, don’t make her ask again. Just tell us what you did. We know that you’re the only human he’s ever brought in his lap on the throne. Tell us what you did!” Raven shouted at me. They were insane!

“I didn’t do anything!” I told them again. “He just likes me.”

They exchanged a look, and suddenly, Bella had my arms pinned behind my back. She was much taller and stronger than me, and I struggled in her grasp.

“Let me go!” I shouted, trying to step on her foot.

“Tell us!” Raven demanded.

“I didn’t do anything,” I told her again, and she punched me in the ribs as Bella held me. I felt that maybe they had to be on something. They both seemed extraordinarily strong and just plain...crazy.

They continued to demand that I tell them what I did, insane in their obsessive interest in Eric. I couldn’t explain why he was interested in me. I had no answers for them. Every inadequate answer I gave resulted in a blow to my stomach and ribs. They finally stopped when I coughed up blood. Bella dropped me to the ground and laughed, they both headed back toward the club. Ready to party and drink, as if this was just a normal activity for them. Just...so bizarre.

I dragged myself the mile walk to the nest, wheezing and holding my ribs the entire time. When I finally reached the wrought iron gate outside of Eric’s house, I flipped open the newly installed box to see if there was an intercom for me to call up to the house or something, but there was just a panel that I accidentally coughed more blood on. It lit up in green, and the gate opened.

Eric! He must have allowed me into the system somehow! I staggered up the drive and found another panel at the door. Dropping my hand on the panel my blood once again opened the door to the house. I was surprised and simultaneously relieved that Eric wasn’t up yet. I knew what he would do if he found out that I had been hurt - his wrath would know no bounds. I wouldn’t put it past him to just kill the women that hurt me. I threw my clothes in the washer with green soap and got into the shower. I used my rose-scented soap along with green and tenderly washed my bruised body. I was smart enough to know that Eric would be able to smell their scents on me.

When I got out of the shower, I put on one of Eric’s shirts and laid down on the bed. I was exhausted, I had stayed up for more than twenty-four hours, and I had just been beaten.

I felt like I had just closed my eyes when I was being shaken awake. Eric was above me, his eyes wide with fear.

“What happened to you?” he demanded.

“Nothing important,” I told him, trying to calm him. “I’m just tired.” I closed my eyes again, but he was shaking me still.

“You’re bleeding internally. You’re covered in bruises. Who. Did. This?”

“No one important. Please, Eric. I’m so tired,” I told him.

“Take my blood,” he ordered, furious.

I shook my head.

“Dammit, Jane!” he yelled. “If you don’t take my blood, then I’m taking you to the hospital.”

That got my attention. I hated hospitals. I didn’t want to go.

“Not too much?” I asked, still so exhausted.

“Just enough,” he promised, and he bit his wrist and held it to my mouth. When his blood entered me, it was like nirvana. It was heaven. I was swimming in the frigid North Sea, but it was refreshing and daring. Like anything could happen. Anything was possible. “That's enough, love,” I heard Eric’s voice say, and then the sea disappeared, and I was surrounded in a velvety cloak of soft darkness.

“You’ll be safe now.”

****

When I woke, it was with heightened senses, and I remembered Eric feeding me his blood again. I checked the clock and found that it was early afternoon, and I laid back down on my bed. I had slept all night and well into the next day. I wouldn’t tell him about the women that beat me. I didn’t know what he would do to them...I didn’t want their blood on my hands. I couldn't take it.

I got out of bed and went to the kitchen, and made myself some soup. I felt great, and I could feel the extra bouncy feeling in my step, and I knew it was from the blood. I didn’t like it. I could see how people became addicted to it. I calmed myself and ate my soup. Eric came in just as I was finishing, and he didn’t say anything to me. I was sure he could feel me, perhaps even stronger than before. I didn’t say anything to him as I washed my bowl in the sink, dried it, and put it away.

When I turned around, he looked at me with his dark stare, and I refused to be intimidated.

“You’re not going to tell me what happened.”

“No.”

He got even angrier.

“I could glamour it out of you.”

“If you wanted to hurt me more than my attacker, then go ahead,” I dared him, and he turned away.

“Stubborn, maddening, infuriating woman!” he yelled.

“High-handed, violent, ridiculous vampire!” I yelled back.

“Ridiculous?” His voice was deadly calm. “No. What is ridiculous is that you won’t inform me of who hurt you, that my Maker is missing - that I am failing. I am failing at protecting you, that you won’t even allow me to.” He seemed at a breaking point.

“Your Maker is missing?”

“Yes. I received a call last night from his second. She reported that he hadn’t returned to the nest, and no one has been able to contact him.” His voice was still calm, but it was a cover for his fear.

“Is it possible that he just decided to go off the map for a while?” I asked, hopeful.

“Possible. He most likely would have come here. He would have brought things with him. I fear…” He didn’t voice his fears. “Tell me about your attack. It could be related.”

“It isn’t,” I replied immediately.

“Jane—” he started.

“Eric, I know why I was...targeted,” I said. “Please trust me.”

He pulled me close and sniffed me deeply, and I felt him calm slightly. “Stay here with me. Please,” he added. I looked at him, and while his face was impassive, I could tell he was afraid. For his Maker? For me? I agreed to stay, and he relaxed minutely. I knew that I was observant, but I couldn’t explain how I knew. I just did.

Eric stayed at his house all night, not telling Pam or Jessica what was going on before they went to the bar. Pam raised an eyebrow at him but didn't ask. He spent the rest of the night holding me in his lap and making various phone calls. He didn’t realize how fearful he seemed, and he was excellent at hiding it in his voice. He called many important-sounding people, even a man he called King Peter. The phone calls all sounded like friendly catching up, and he would casually slip in a question about his Maker, Godric, but no one he spoke with seemed to have heard from or seen him.

I fell asleep in the late evening, listening as he spoke on the phone in a language I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to help him, and I wasn’t sure what to do. My dreams were tinged with fear, frustration and that lingering little pit darkness inside of me that just never seemed to leave.

*****

“What was he doing at an art show, surrounded by humans?” I heard Eric’s voice ask. I opened my eyes, we were in his downstairs resting place, and he was sitting up in bed, shirtless, on the phone. There was a trickle of blood coming out of his ear. I went to the half-bath and got a washcloth, and I wiped at the blood dribbling from his ear. He seemed to appreciate it, and he smiled at me lightly as he finished his conversation. He hung up the phone, and I returned the cloth to the half-bath.

I didn’t ask him if he had found any information about his Maker. I could tell that he hadn’t, and I wasn’t going to press him. He was nuzzling my neck, scraping his fangs against me.

“Thirsty?” I asked him.

“Ravenous,” he growled.

I turned to look at him. His fangs were down, and his eyes were blown black, his hunger evident. I scooted away from him and lifted up his shirt to display my thighs, and I knew the gesture was rather lewd as I didn’t have any panties on underneath, and he made a sound between a snarl and moan when I splayed my knees for him.

Eric’s lick against my thigh was minimal, and he bit me fiercely, I still enjoyed it, but I was a little concerned...he had his fangs stuck into me and was slurping roughly. I wasn’t feeling my usual rising arousal, but it wasn’t too painful. I was mostly struck by the fact that he didn’t seem like he was going to stop. He kept drinking and drinking...I started to feel light-headed.

“Eric…” I said. “I feel…” I couldn’t finish. I felt so woozy.

Eric stopped, suddenly, as if forcing himself. His eyes were still wild, and he was looking at me in shock.

“Jane!” he whispered in horror. “I...lost control.”

“It’s okay,” I mumbled.

He licked my thigh closed with absolute iron-clad control and then zipped away and was back in seconds with a carton of apple juice. He made me sit up and drink it. He stroked my hair and whispered to me in Swedish, and whatever he said sounded like a promise.

“Thank you,” I told him, sipping the juice from the straw, and he laughed an insane wet-sounding laugh. I looked up and saw him blink red from his eyes.

“Don’t thank me. I nearly killed you,” he admitted, his voice cracking.

“You didn’t. I’ll be fine,” I croaked.

“Let me give you my blood,” he whispered very seriously.

“Eric...the blood bond...” I was shocked. He was offering a lifelong bond. “I’ll be fine, Eric. You don’t need to do this.”

He stood abruptly.

“Stay here,” he ordered me. “Rest.”

Then he was gone.

Chapter Text

Chap 17

Eric’s POV - Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

I sat on the throne, attempting to think. Godric’s disappearance had shaken me more than I was willing to admit. My usual tight control was all over the place. I nearly drained Jane. If I had...I don’t know what I would have done with myself. It was inconceivable. Then I offered her a blood bond, and like the bewildering creature that she is, she turned me down. Jane didn’t want a lifelong bond with me. What did she want from me? What was happening with Godric? Why couldn’t I fucking control myself around Jane? How could Godric simply be missing? I meditated on these thoughts for a while, thankful that Jane wasn’t there staring me down with her aquamarine eyes. I hadn’t let her go far. She was in my office, resting on the couch. She was still exhausted from all the blood I took from her. Pam was so alarmed when Jane came out, so weak and pale; she looked nearly ready to offer Jane the blood herself.

The throngs of humans were staring as I brooded, and I had no idea how much time had passed. It was profoundly strange that Godric was missing. I had interrogated Isabel about what he was doing last, and I found his behavior surprising. He was at an art exhibit? Surrounded by humans? Why? Where did he go from there? My biggest fear was that someone had somehow taken him. However, he was so old that it would be challenging to do. But Godric had many enemies, some that I had only heard of by rumor. Perhaps I would interrogate the drainers, find out about their methods. See if they did anything that Godric would not be able to overcome.

Later on, I got a call from Nan. The Authority wanted me to bring in a human that had a connection to the fire that killed Malcolm, Liam, and Diane. I would have to make the trip out to Bon Temps to collect one. Nan didn’t tell me what the plan was for the human, but I could tell it was nothing good. I wasn’t bothered by Malcolm, Liam, and Diane’s deaths. If anything, I was surprised that they had lasted this long, what with how reckless and bloodthirsty they were. And to be so careless with their safety as well... No matter, I still would have to incarcerate the human that was responsible.

Chow announced the last call. As the plebs started to depart, I felt a rising fear from Jane, and I zoomed back to the office to find that Jessica had Jane pinned against the couch, fangs down, ready to bite.

Fucking baby vamp.

I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her off of Jane. Jane looked ridiculously weak, like a baby bird, and I cursed myself once again. Jane had excited Jessica’s prey drive by looking so feeble. It was a common predator strategy to pick off the weakest of the herd, but I had no idea that Jessica was so driven by bloodlust as to lose control completely. I watched the newborn vamp return to normal, and it appeared as if she would cry. Godric was right...I needed to return her to her Maker.

“Jessica, go get in the car,” I ordered her, and she wooshed away.

I knelt down next to Jane. “Are you alright?” I asked her, knowing that she did not feel alright.

“I’ll be fine. I’m just tired,” Jane said, blinking slowly.

“I’m taking Jessica to her Maker. Would you like to stay or go to your home?” I asked.

“Home,” she replied, standing and swaying. I steadied her, and she seemed fine.

Pam poked her head in around the edge of the office door.

“I’m comin’ with,” she stated, and I saw her look at Jane. For the first time in many decades, I considered reopening my Maker’s bond with her. I wanted to know what her feelings for Jane were. It was as simple as flipping a switch, but I’m certain Pam would not be pleased. It would be as if I didn’t consider her raised anymore to open our bond right now. I wouldn’t open it up on a mere whim. I simply nodded, and Jane followed Pam out to the car.

We spent the ride to Bon Temps in silence. Jane had her face pressed against the glass of the passenger side door, and I could feel her nursing a headache. Damn, stubborn woman. She was in pain, and she refused my blood. I gnashed my teeth silently, trying not to feel angry about her rejection of the blood bond.

I dropped Jane off at her house first, and she walked slowly inside. I was ambivalent about watching her go. I was so irrational about her, I wanted her by my side constantly, and I craved her. But I also hurt her, my control slipping over my fears about Godric. I watched her retreating form; yes, this was probably for the best. I wasn’t sure if I trusted myself around her. It was a terrible thought, and I tried to let the feeling go.

Next, we took Jessica over to the Stackhouse residence. We stood on the porch, and Bill appeared in the doorway.

“Hello, Daddy,” Jessica said brattily to Bill.

“There are favors, and then there are favors,” I told Bill.

“She is extremely annoying,” Pam added.

“You can’t do this. We had a deal,” Bill whined.

“Yeah, well, now the terms have changed. She’s yours. Unless you want to give me the syrup scented telepath?” I offered, knowing that he wouldn’t accept. He dropped fang and stood to face me, and I replied by showing my older longer fangs. Much longer. I laughed at his fangs, hilarious. “It was just a suggestion. Though a few nights with this one may change your mind.”

I turned and left and heard Pam sarcastically wish him good luck.

“Åh, du ljuva frihet!” I told Pam as we left, and she laughed at my proclamation of ‘Oh, sweet freedom!”

We got back in the car, and I drove the dark roads exceptionally quickly. Pam sat, uncharacteristically, quietly next to me, obviously waiting for me to explain what I was doing and why I was acting so insane. She just watched me, hoping that I would tell her without prompting. Instead, I let her be the one to drag the idiot redneck by his hair and black bag his head. He shouted all kinds of racist and homophobic slurs at us, and I despised him even more. What scum. Pam delightedly threw him in the trunk. It was a fine boon for my progeny, and she didn’t seem to feel the need to stare me down so much after that.

When we got to the club, it was empty, and I had Chow take the newest prisoner to the foul basement. I told him to bring up one of the drainers.

It was time to see what they knew.

****

Jane’s POV - Thursday, July 16th & Friday, July 17th, 2009

I was sitting at the bar of Merlotte’s as Tara relayed what had happened last night in the parking lot. Detective Bellefleur had found a dead woman’s body dumped in his car—her heart cut out. It was apparently the same woman that had given Tara a phony exorcism. I got the impression that this wasn’t something that Tara would have told most people, that she was embarrassed by the whole exorcism thing, but I was just the type of person people liked to confide in.

“All seems kind of occult-ish, her performing fake exorcisms, and then she’s the one that gets her heart cut out?” I suggested as I took the first bite of my veggie burger.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Tara said. “Now that you mention it, that does make sense. She got herself messed up in some sorta witchy shit.”

I nodded. I ate some fries, and soon the conversation turned to me.

“How’s that vampire you got your deal with?” she asked.

“Fine,” I said, not wanting to talk about it.

“Mmm...hmm,” she said, eyeing my extreme paleness. “I’m sure Bill hasn’t given up on his house.”

I doubted it as well. I wondered if I should just give up on my whole house dream. Eric drinking too much of me had me questioning what I was doing. Why did I still trust him? Was there something wrong with me? I thought for a moment about returning to Dallas and putting all of this insanity behind me, but I knew I wouldn’t.

I was already in too deep. It was about more than the house now. I cared for Eric. I didn’t like seeing him like this, panicked and fearful about his missing Maker. He...was important to me, and it scared me to think that I had already become so invested in him. That even when he accidentally hurt me, I wanted to make sure he was alright. It occurred to me then that getting hurt was a part of life and that life wasn’t about trying to avoid getting hurt.

It was about living your life fully, knowing that it would hurt.

“Well, it’s still mine for now,” I told her. She left me to finish my food and people-watch. It was early evening, and the night was winding down. I wasn’t sure what my plans were, but I figured I would drive into Shreveport and see Eric. I should probably talk to him about the whole blood bond thing. I could tell we needed to clear the air about him drinking too much of my blood and me refusing his blood again. Also, I was worried about him, about his anxiety over his missing Maker. I went to my house and puttered around. I got all my paints out and then lost the motivation actually to paint. I cleaned, and I organized. When I finally had enough of the blatant procrastination, I got in my car and drove to Fangtasia. The parking lot was empty except for Eric’s sports car. When I knocked on the door, Ginger let me. I guess they had closed down for the night.

I walked down the hall to Eric’s office. Then the door to the office burst open, and Chow was dragging a screaming man out.

“I gave you everything!” the man shouted. “I ain’t going back there!”

I stood there in shock. Chow was dragging the man closer to me, and I moved out of the way. I realized that I recognized him. He was a cook at Merlotte’s bar and grill. The one with the great lashes that liked my hoodie. The one that had stopped showing up for his shifts.

“Hey! Help me!” he screamed, and Chow had dragged him back toward the basement. “Help me!” his voice echoed up the stairs.

I walked down to the office and pushed the door open. Eric was sitting, foils on his head, and Pam was attempting to fix his hair.

He was splattered with blood.

“Jane,” Eric said, not surprised but clearly displeased.

“I guess I should have called.”

“Yes,” he replied. He said something in Swedish to Pam. She looked at me, shook her head, and left. “I have to glamour you now. You realize that?” He looked at me darkly.

“Why?” I asked, confused.

He rested his hands on the desk and closed his eyes momentarily as if I frustrated him.

“You saw one of the prisoners, and he recognized you, even. What is to prevent you from telling the human authorities what you saw?” He turned and stared at me intensely.

“I won’t,” I promised him. “It’s none of their business. You’re the Sheriff. He was the V dealer, I assume?” I said, crossing my arms.

“Yes,” Eric replied.

“I won’t tell anyone I saw him. Please… don’t glamour me,” I begged, and he shook his head.

“It’s too dangerous for you as well. Especially now that you’re friends with a telepath, your silence could incriminate you,” he explained, and I realized that I had to be glamoured again.

“What will you do? Make me forget?” I asked, trying to be brave.

“That path leads to many problems, as you saw with Ginger. You will retain the memory, but you won’t be able to think of it. You will know, but you won’t be able to say anything about it,” he replied.

I nodded. There was a moment of silence. Eric looked at me, and I could see a haunted look in his eye. He didn’t want to have to do this.

“Fine,” I told him, and he stared into my eyes.

“Jane.”

I felt myself fade away completely. There was only Eric. Just Eric. Nothing of me remained.

“You will not be able to think of the man that you saw Chow take to the basement. You will not speak of what you witnessed to anyone.”

I felt my mind and body agreed without my consent. Yes. It bent.

“Of course,” I agreed, dazed.

He released my gaze, and I felt nauseated. I quickly grabbed a trash can and vomited. I wiped my mouth and sat down on his couch. He looked at me guiltily but then quickly turned his face into an impassive mask.

“Why did you come?” he asked.

“I wanted to talk to you. I can see that you’re... busy. I’ll go. I’ll text or call next time,” I told Eric. I turned to leave, feeling shaky and upset, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me, and I saw his thirst for me right on the surface of his face. He was covered in blood and I knew that I should be worried. But my body decided that it liked it when he looked me that way, with want and desire, and I shivered, and I was sure he felt my rising arousal in the blood.

His fangs flicked out, and instantly he let me go. Stunned by his response, he forced his fangs away.

“Jane. Things are...tense. With my Maker missing,” he said, and I could tell that he was trying to explain to me his strange behavior.

“Let me know if I can help,” I told him.

He shook his head. “I will not hurt you again,” he told me, and I smiled softly at him, thinking of the inevitable pain he would bring once he figured out whatever it was that he wanted to understand about me. He would definitely hurt me, but I was prepared for it.

“Goodnight, Eric,” I said, and as I left, I heard him slam his hand against the wall.

****

The next day I woke up, and I realized that when Eric had said that he wouldn’t hurt me again, that was his way of explaining that he didn’t want me around. That he was worried he would hurt me. I laid back down on my bed and thought about what that meant. He was extremely upset about his Maker. I imagined that was part of the reason Eric was covered in blood...he was losing control.

I sighed and got up and got dressed. I would just wait and see what happened. I didn’t want to push him, and I didn’t want to end up glamoured again. I thought I would go to Merlotte’s and get some food, Terry was cooking today, and I knew that he would make me something special if I asked. I showered and dressed in comfy jean shorts and a soft worn-out shirt from a school fundraiser a few years ago.

My mind wandered to last night as I drove over. I couldn’t actually think about what I saw. It was strange. It was like I knew where it was and what had happened, but my mind wouldn’t form the thoughts. When I got to the bar, I saw the new waitress, Daphne, drop a whole tray of food, and it made me have second thoughts about ever applying for a summer job here.

Sookie and Tara were coming out of the back, and Sookie stopped to talk to me briefly. She had a shiny perky look about her that made me realize she was still feeling the effects of Bill’s blood, and I worried about her.

“Do you think you could stop by my house tonight?” she asked me. “I have another vampire staying with me, and I think it would be a good idea to have another person over while I’m getting to know her, and well...you’re the only one I know that’s not prejudiced against vampires.”

“Will Bill be there?” I asked.

She shook her head, her golden blonde curls bouncing. “No, he said he’s going to run errands and stuff,” she explained.

I wasn’t sure. I didn’t really think it was a good idea for Sookie to be alone with Jessica. I remembered what Eric said about her mood shifting rapidly and how she had been tempted to bite me when I felt so weak. Jessica wasn’t a bad person, she was just a new vampire, and I needed to make sure that she didn’t accidentally hurt Sookie. Jessica would feel so bad, and Sookie didn’t deserve to have anything else happen to her. I agreed to meet Sookie at her house around 10 in the evening.

Tara then introduced us to Maryann Forrester, the woman she had been living with. Sookie asked her about her accent, and I got a strange feeling from her. The hair on the back of my neck standing up in alarm, I stood stiffly next to Sookie and tried not to make eye contact with Maryann. I didn’t like the feeling...and strangely, I didn’t like her. It was almost like she was greedy? Coveting? I couldn’t place it, but the way she looked at Sookie and me was disconcerting… like we were something she wanted to collect.

I shook off the strange feeling and sat at the bar and ordered food as Sookie left. Tara made me an ice tea and just put in my order of a veggie sandwich herself, since Daphne, the new waitress, seemed so incompetent. Terry seemed stressed out, and I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him. I left quickly after finishing my sandwich. The energy of the bar felt terrible to me, chaotic and unnerving. Speed walking to my car, I got in and instantly sighed in relief. I didn’t know what that meant. I guessed I was just too introverted for my own good.

I went home and relaxed for a bit, and when it was time, I walked over through the cemetery to Sookie’s. She answered and quickly gestured me inside. I looked around and saw Jessica wiping her face clean of blood tears as she was going upstairs.

“What’s going on?” I asked Sookie.

“I’m going to take Jessica to see her parents,” Sookie told me.

“What?!”

“She’s just going to watch them through the window and say goodbye. I was hopin’ you would come with me. Jessica said that you lost your parents. Wouldn’t you give anything to see them again?” Sookie asked, and I saw the pain in her eyes. She was still mourning her grandmother. I felt her pain, and I understood. She wanted to give Jessica a chance to move on.

“Okay,” I agreed reluctantly, and Jessica came down wearing a yellow dress of Sookie’s.

I climbed in the back of Sookie’s hatchback, and Jessica directed us to a residential neighborhood in Shreveport. Sookie parked on the opposite side of the street so that Jessica could have a clear view into one of the house windows. Then impulsively, Jessica was out of the car and knocking on the door, and we ran after her futility, trying to stop her. Jessica introduced us to her mother, and we were invited into her house.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. I had left my phone in my purse in Sookie’s car, so I couldn’t even use it to call or text Eric for help.

“I don’t normally cuss, but you have completely fucked us here,” Sookie berated Jessica as we sat waiting in the living room for the food Jessica’s mother offered us.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I swear it was like it wasn’t even me doing it. It must be those new vampire impulse-control issues,” Jessia replied, and I saw that she was honest. She didn’t mean to put us in this position.

“Fuck your impulse-control issues!” Sookie whispered back to her.

Just then, Jessica’s little sister came in, holding a tray of sandwiches.

“Here’s some sandwiches. Mom’s still making tea,” she said.

“Oh, thanks, Eden.” Jessica smiled at her sister.

“Thank you,” Sookie and I both said to her nicely.

“Your new friends are pretty.” Eden was examining us.

“Why, that’s awful nice of you. You’re very pretty yourself,” Sookie complimented.

“No. I’m not. Got a problem with hair,” Eden replied, and she looked longingly at my platinum blonde hair and then at Sookie’s golden locks as if trying to decide which she liked more.

The front door opened, and a man I assumed was Jessica’s father came in. Jessica stood and hugged him, and the moment would have been sweet, but I sensed something. He was furious. It was a tightly controlled rage - we needed to leave. We needed to go now.

I tugged on Sookie’s arm and whispered to her, “Sookie, we need to go now.” But she just shrugged at me helplessly.

When their hug ended, Jessica’s father shook her roughly by the shoulders.

“How could you do this? Do you have any idea what you put your mother through? Why, Jessica? You tell me why!” he shouted at her, spittal flying from his face. He shook her even harder, hard enough that if she were human, she would have bruised.

Jessica’s father was abusive.

“Mr. Hamby!’ Sookie protested.

“Or I will make you tell me!” Mr. Hamby threatened Jessica. I tried to remain calm, but I felt anger roiling, building higher and higher.

Jessica shoved her father away.

“Go ahead, Daddy. Get your belt.” Jessica flicked her fangs down, and I realized that anger wasn’t my own...it was Jessica’s. “But this time, I'll be ready for you.”

I could sense Jessica’s emotions. I was feeling them like they were my own. I curled my fingers into my palms, trying to block the rage I felt. What the hell was happening?

“How could you let some bloodsucker bite you like that?” Mr. Hamby asked, outraged.

“Mr. Hamby!” Sookie protested again.

“I didn’t let anybody do anything to me. But, oh, am I glad he did. ‘Cause now I get to homeschool you in what it’s like to be scared.” Jessica zipped over to her Father.

“Jessica, stop!” Sookie tried to grab her.

“Jesus Christ, Sookie. Would you shut the fuck up?” Jessica pushed Sookie away, and she fell to the floor. I was still sitting on the couch, stunned. I had felt her emotions. I… I didn’t know what to make of what was happening at all.

“You okay?” Eden asked Sookie.

“Baby, please. This isn’t you,” Mrs. Hamby pleaded with her daughter, and I focused on her long enough to feel her fear slithering through me.

I could feel her too.

“You don’t know the first thing about me. You’re too dumb to know anything,” Jessica yelled at her Mother, and I felt her Mother’s hurt. I quickly stopped focusing on her.

“Jessica!” Sookie yelled at her.

“Oh, what? She is dumb. She’s dumber than a sack full of hammers, and he’s as mean as a snake. And that’s the way it’s always gonna be around here.” Jessica paused and looked around. “So I am ending it. Right here, right now. And I am doing it with your belt.” She went to grab her father’s belt, but he stopped her. Jessica used her vampire speed and strength and backed him against the wall. I looked at her little sister, Eden. She was crying, terrified.

I realized that I was crying too. I was feeling her emotions also. It hurt. How was I feeling so much?

“Daddy?” Eden asked, wanting everything to be okay.

“It’s okay, baby,” her father tried to reassure her.

Jessica swiftly took his belt and looped it around his neck. She started to tighten it.

“Don’t worry. This will only hurt for a minute,” Jessica told him. I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe in and out, not focusing on anything. I felt their emotions melt away.

It was just me again.

Just then, Bill burst open the door.

“Bill!” Sookie shouted relieved.

“Jessica, let him go!” he yelled at her.

“But!” Jessica protested.

“As your Maker, I command you!” Bill ordered, and Jessica was forced to let him go.

“Thank God you’re here,” Sookie said, looking at him dreamily.

“Shut up!” he barked at her. I looked away; I would not want to be yelled at that way. “Now, someone who lives here must invite me in.”

“No. No, don’t. He’s one of them. He’ll kill us all,” Mr. Hamby protested.

“He won’t. He’s not like that,” Sookie tried to tell him.

“You. Little girl.” Bill pointed at Eden. “Come here.” He gestured to her.

Her mother and father were yelling at Eden to stop, but she couldn’t. Bill already had her glamoured.

“Good girl. Now you listen to me. I’m here to protect you: you and your mother and your father. I am your friend. So, you just invite me in, and I can make everything stop.”

“You can?” she said, dazed.

“Yes,” he told her hypnotically.

“Won’t you please come in, sir?” Eden invited Bill in politely.

The first thing Bill did was drag Sookie and me out of the house.

“I’m sorry!” Sookie cried.

“Get the hell outta here, both of you!” Bill snarled at us.

“Bill!” I shouted at him. I didn’t like him manhandling me.

“Now! So I can clean up your mess!” he roared.

“Please don’t kill them!” Sookie pleaded.

“This is your fault!” he yelled back, not answering. “Now, get the hell out of here!”

I followed Sookie, and we ran back to her car.

“Do you think he’ll kill them?” she asked me.

“I don’t know,” I told her. “It’s possible.”

I sat in the backseat, and Sookie sat in the front. We didn't wait long before Bill came out towing a very distraught Jessica that he threw in the back seat with me. Bill, still furious, drove very fast. His maniacal driving was frightening, and Sookie begged him to stop.

“Bill, slow down, please. Stop this. You're scaring me,” she said, and Bill pulled the car over on the side of the road next to the woods. Jessica was still sobbing next to me, blood tears on her face.

“I'm sorry. She promised she was just gonna look in the window. I know I made a mistake, but they're her family,” Sookie apologized.

“She is a vampire. She has no family,” Bill said harshly.

“I’m a monster, and I'm gonna be alone because of you. I hate you so fucking much,” Jessica shouted from the back seat next to me, and I was terrified to focus on her; I was worried I start feeling her emotions again.

“Be quiet!” Bill snapped at her.

“Eat shit!” Jessica replied flippantly.

“I said, be quiet!” Bill ordered her, and then he turned on Sookie. “You undermined my authority as her Maker. You risked those people's safety, Jane’s, and your own. If something had happened to Jane, I would have had to answer to Eric! If I had not glamoured them within an inch of their sanity, all of our lives would have been shattered,” Bill told her through a tight jaw.

“I know. I'm sorry,” Sookie replied sincerely.

“You keep saying that! And I am expected to what? Forget this ever happened?” Bill was still angry.

“What else would you like me to say? I knew when she asked me to take her, I should say no, but all I could think about was Gran and what I'd give to see her again.” The sense of loss still hung around her tightly, and then I realized I was doing it again. I could sense her emotions as if they were my own. How had I not realized this before? How long had I been doing this?

“That does not give you license to behave like an irresponsible child. She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with.”

Sookie got out of the car. Even with all the blood that Bill had fed her, she could still get angry with him, especially when he treated her so poorly.

“What are you doing?” Bill asked, confused.

“Walking!” Sookie slammed the car door behind her. Bill opened his door and stood up to yell at her some more.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Bon Temps is nearly twenty miles away!” he told her.

“I’d rather walk all night than spend another second in that car with you,” she shouted back at him, and I saw something breakthrough in her. The effect of his blood wearing off?

In that split second, I decided that I would rather be with Sookie than with two vampires that I didn’t trust. I got out of the car and followed her.

“Sookie! Wait up!” I called after her, and she stopped. I caught up with her, and we started walking together. I wondered if she was going to apologize to me for dragging me into her mess.

“I am sorry,” she said. I had forgotten she could read my mind.

“I know,” I told her. I could feel that apologetic feeling well from her. What was happening to me?

We listened to the crickets chirp, and a strange feeling stole over me… Freezing, I strained my hearing to listen around me, searching for the source of the feeling. I heard an owl hoot in the woods...and then I felt something out there, something much larger than an owl. Sookie must have felt it too.

“Bill?” she called out, wondering if it was him. “Bill, if you’re trying to scare us, so we get back into that car with you, it isn’t gonna work,” she said, but whatever was out there didn’t feel like Bill to me.

We walked a little more, the sounds of the night amplified around us. I heard leaves rustle and twigs snap. Sookie and I both stopped and turned.

Behind us, we could see a figure in the darkness. There was a massive form silhouetted against the light of the moon. It had the head of a bull but the body of a person.

“What the—?” Sookie said, and shock and fear stole over us. The bull creature started to charge us. We started sprinting away as fast as we could, but the creature was faster. I heard it right behind us. I could smell its hot, rank breath upon me. Suddenly, it swiped its claw at Sookie, catching her in the back, sending her sprawling. Its other claw came down upon my back, and I tumbled into the dirt, the pain searing and scorching through me. I couldn’t move. I felt paralyzed with pain. I could move my eyes to Sookie’s, and I saw that she felt the same. I tried to roll my eyes and look for the creature, but it was gone.

In moments Bill was there. He was calling Sookie’s name over and over. I saw him lift her into his arms out of the corner of my eye.

“What did this to you?” he asked her.

“Bull… human. I couldn’t see. Bill, I can’t move,” Sookie was able to grunt. He nodded and bit his wrist, feeding her his blood. She slurped it greedily but then began to cough and choke, her mouth foamed like a rabid dog. Her body shook, and it looked as if she was having a seizure. The blood wasn’t healing her.

Jessica showed up. “Oh, gross!” she exclaimed, looking at the foam spewing from Sookie and the bloody mess of my back.

“Go get the car! Now!” Bill ordered her. Jessica zipped away and was back with the car in seconds. Bill loaded Sookie and me in the back seat, holding us in his arms so that we wouldn’t roll around, and Jessica drove insanely fast. The drive from the woods to wherever he was taking us felt both short and long, and I could tell I was losing my grip because I couldn’t help but thinking about how my silver-eyed friend asked me about pain. I tried to remember what I had told him.

That it too would pass. Just as quickly as the moments we wanted to hold onto. I wished that this one would pass more quickly.

“Drive straight home,” Bill ordered Jessica, and I saw that we were at Fangtasia. Eric was going to be pissed.

“But I wanna go with you,” Jessica protested.

“As your Maker, I command you,” Bill stated, and I saw Eric come around and pull me from the vehicle. He said words in a language that I didn’t know, but they sounded like curses. My first thought was that his new short hair made him look somehow even more handsome, and that made me giggle deliriously through my pain. I looked into his icy ocean eyes, and I felt something from him, and I realized I had been doing it all along. That perhaps I had been feeling other people’s emotions my whole life. When I looked at Eric’s impassive face, I felt his fear.

Then I collapsed, passing out from the pain and the knowledge.

I was different.

******

Eric’s POV - Friday, July 17th, 2009

I was sitting in the office, frustrated after my conversation with Bill. It was merely a coincidence that we ran into him at the mall. I was obliged to let Pam shop and style me after the mess that happened with the blood in my hair—seeing Bill had given me an idea. I could use the sugary telepath to find Godric, or in the very least see if there was any merit to Stan’s contention that it was the Fellowship of the Sun that had taken him. Bill was not cooperating, and I was irritated that I would have to go around him and negotiate with Sookie myself.

Suddenly, I was yanked from my thoughts as I felt Jane’s fear and then her pain. I stood to go to her. My frustration rose. Why was it that she seemed to be continually getting hurt? It made it very hard to keep her safe and fulfill my duty to her. I went out to the bar’s central area, and then I felt her coming towards me. I became more and more alarmed; the closer she got, the more I could feel. Her pain was extremely high. What had she done, broken every bone in her body? When I saw that she was with Bill and Sookie, I was furious. What had these two done to her?

I pulled her from the vehicle to see that Sookie was injured as well, her sweet hot blood leaking everywhere, just as profusely and the clean, fresh scent of Jane’s rare AB negative blood. I could now understand Bill’s interest in Sookie’s blood. It had a hidden depth, and I could not determine her blood type. I brought Jane inside, and Bill brought Sookie in as well. I set Jane down on ottoman cushions in the bar.

“What happened?” I asked Bill.

“They were attacked in the woods by an unknown creature,” he explained.

I bit into my wrist. I went to hold it to Jane's mouth, but she was blinking her eyes open and struggled away from me, only able to move her head. Would she rather die than be bound to me? I was furious with her at that moment, and she trembled before me. “No, please,” she croaked.

Bill interrupted.

“The blood...it didn’t work when I fed it to Sookie. If anything, it might have made her worse,” he explained. I immediately dialed Dr. Ludwig and luckily she was in the area. I had peeled back Jane’s shredded shirt and bra and moved her fine blond hair so it wouldn’t stick to the deep gouges in her back by the time the doctor arrived.

As soon as she came inside, Dr. Ludwig began to examine them both, and I could see Jane was fading in and out of consciousness as Sookie tried to communicate with the doctor.

“What kind of doctor are you?” Sookie asked.

“The healing kind. I’m Dr. Ludwig, what’s your-” She touched the deep raw scratch on Sookie’s back, and Sookie howled in pain.

Sookie sucked in a breath. “Sookie Stackhouse.” She was able to breathe out.

“And the other?” Ludwig asked.

“Jane Compton,” Bill supplied.

Ludwig examined her fingers under a magnifying glass. There was something in the scratches. A poison, perhaps?

“Am I dying?” Sookie asked.

“Yes. She is too,” Ludwig replied matter of factly, nodding her head toward Jane. I could see that they would both die, bleed out at the very least if she did not help them soon. I knew that this was a possibility. Humans were so very fragile, doomed to turn to dust. I had known this for a long time. I knew that she would die; I had known the moment I met her.

“No! She cannot die! You will save her!” Bill demanded, and I saw his obsession with Sookie. I sat on a chair and watched this unfold. I was already so on edge about Godric… I suppressed all my feelings.

“Back off, vampire, let me do my job,” Ludwig told him without fear.

“Forgive him. Bill is abnormally attached to his human,” I said, looking at Jane’s bleeding back idly. I was attached to Jane as well. It was terrible for me to fail her like this. If she died, I would never claim another human again. She would be the last, never again.

“Well, we don't have a lot of choices. They’ve been poisoned. You ever heard of Komodo dragons? Their mouths are teeming with bacteria. After one has bitten you, it will track you for hours, days, just waiting for the toxins to slowly eat away at your nervous system till you're good and helpless. Then it will devour you alive.” I saw that Jane was conscious during this explanation, and she looked over at me with her bright blue-green eyes.

“We were scratched by a dragon?” Sookie gasped, hysterical.

“No, but this poison is similar but way more efficient,” Ludwig added. “I don’t think I’ve seen it before, but it’s hard to tell without further testing, and we don’t have that kind of time.” Ludwig turned to Bill and me. “Give us some privacy. I need to remove their clothing.”

I stood and left. I gave myself one last look at Jane. It could very well be the last time I saw her alive.

Bill knelt down in front of Sookie. “I will be just outside. I am so sorry,” he told her, lagging behind. Sookie began to cough and foam at the mouth, a symptom that Jane had not displayed, thankfully.

“She’s running out of time, Mr. Compton,” Ludwig told him. Bill finally followed me back to the office, where we both were pacing.

“Explain to me how this happened,” I demanded. Bill hesitated and explained that he had an argument with Sookie in the car and how Sookie had left, and Jane had followed her. It didn’t explain to me why Jane was there with them in the first place.

“Then they were attacked in the woods. She said it was a bull human,” he ended.

“The head of a bull?” I asked, some type of minotaur? I hadn’t heard of such a thing.

“That’s what she said,” Bill replied. “And it was dark. It all happened in seconds.”

“So you didn’t see this, uh, bull-man?” I asked, unsure if what Sookie claimed she saw was real.

“No.”

“And you gave her your blood?” I asked to be sure.

“It didn’t work. It made her worse,” Bill told me, deeply disturbed.

“Hmm.” It was odd.

“You ever heard of anything like this?” he asked.

“Surprisingly, no.” Godric would know. I needed him now more than ever.

Pam and Chow stood at the doorway, back from running out the Queen’s new edicts.

“Pam, Chow,” I greeted them. I turned back to Bill. “I thought in over a thousand years I’d seen everything there was to see.” I was so rarely surprised anymore. I looked at Pam and Chow. “Search the woods around Highway 71,” I ordered them.

“He can do it. I'm wearing my favorite pumps.” Pam tried to get out of having to do anything that could get her dirty. Or affect her beloved fashion. I ordered her again, in Swedish, and she sighed and obeyed.

“She is extremely lazy. But loyal. How’s yours? Jessica?” I asked Bill if only to have something to think about that was not Jane bleeding out in the next room.

“Petulant. Dangerous. Afraid,” Bill replied, and I could tell that something happened. At least he had the Maker’s command over her.

“I’m glad to see you two are bonding. Being a good Maker is very rewarding,” I told him honestly.

“I have to get back to Sookie,” he stated, turning to leave.

“No, Bill. You must let her work. Do not interrupt with her your feelings,” I told him, and he stopped. “Dr. Ludwig treated one of Pam’s humans when he was mauled by a werewolf, lost an eye, but otherwise, he’s fine.”

Were bites were difficult to heal, even for vampires. The blood didn’t work as well on them.

Suddenly I felt excruciating pain from my blood in Jane and heard shrill screams from the other room. Bill and I zipped out to see the doctor pouring something into the open wounds on Jane’s and Sookie’s backs. They were both screaming and contorting.

“What are you doing to them?” Bill demanded to know.

“Hold them down! Or let them die, your choice,” Ludwig said as she moved to pour more of the solution in their wounds. I grabbed Jane by the arms, and she was thrashing and crying. I saw the deep scratches bubble and hiss as liquid welled up from them to the surface. That must be the poison. Ludwig dug it out of the wounds and repeated the process. Each time Jane screamed, and I could feel her pain, her agony from the blood. Sookie was screaming, “No!” repeatedly, but Jane never asked us to stop. She had quite a sense of bravery, and I tried to tamp down my pride in her.

Finally, after several rounds of this treatment, no more poison came out of the scratches. Jane collapsed limply, her delicious blood welling up, free from the poison, and my fangs slipped down achingly. Ludwig dabbed at the gouges, cleaning up the edges and stray blood.

“You can give them blood now. Their bodies should accept it,” Ludwig announced.

I went to Jane, and I saw her eyes were barely open. “Eric,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head at her. Confounding woman. She’s ripped open, screaming and bleeding, I have failed to protect her time and time again, and she apologizes to me? Will I ever understand her? I looked over, and I saw Bill feeding his blood to Sookie, cooing at her softly, like a child or a baby. What was his purpose with her?

I bit my wrist open. I held it to Jane’s mouth, and for one brief moment, I feared she wouldn’t accept it. She looked up at me with those strange eyes of hers and then, with great reverence, drank from me delicately. While I felt my blood flowing down her throat and spreading throughout her body it already created a bond and it strengthened and tethered into place the more she drank from me. I held back the moan that threatened to spill forth. Gods...she felt fantastic. I was inside of her. I could sense her even more deeply, and I could feel myself settling deep into her. I pulled away as soon as I saw her back heal, knowing that she would not want too much. I stroked her soft hair gently, and she closed her eyes. I could sense that she was moments away from sleep.

I looked over. I was surprised to see that Bill was still feeding Sookie his blood. She had already healed, but she was sucking at his wrist ardently, like a greedy little piglet, and it was clear to me then that she was addicted. Her eyes had the high glazed look of a person that had imbibed too much.

“I’ll expect my payment by the end of the week,” Ludwig told me, and I figured I would order Chow to donate a small vial of his blood. He would hate that, but I wasn’t going to give her mine or Pam’s blood. And Dr. Ludwig knew better than to use it on more than one patient.

“It’s always a pleasure doing business with you, Dr. Ludwig,” I said as she left.

“Fuck off!” she shouted over her shoulder.

“Clearly, the pleasure is one-sided,” Bill said, and I watched the dwarf doctor leave. I was grateful to her.

“Well, she’s no fan of the fang. She tolerates us because our blood is of such great value to healers.” I looked back over at Bill. He was still feeding Sookie the blood? I had to say something.

“Careful. You’ll overcook her,” I warned Bill, and he finally stopped.

Pam and Chow came in looking worse for wear. Pam was pissed at me. She had mud on her clothes and leaves strewn throughout her hair.

“The area has been scanned,” she told me, her tone indicating her mood.

“Tracks were human, but the smell was distinctly animal,” Chow reported.

“What kind?” I asked.

“A filthy one!” Pam snapped.

“We didn’t recognize it,” Chow added.

“How intriguing. Send an alert through the appropriate channels. Find out what the neighbors know,” I ordered Pam to alert the neighboring Sheriffs and Werepacks. She turned to leave. “And Pam.” She stopped and turned to look back at me, annoyed. “Those were great pumps,” I grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes and walked away. She knew that I would let her go shopping again soon.

“I don’t wanna move her,” Bill told me, gesturing to Sookie.

“Of course not,” I said, she was an asset to the region, and I wanted to bring her to Dallas to help search for Godric. “I’ll make sure she’s taken care of.” I would have Ginger come and watch over them. I was tempted to try to stay here myself, let the bond settle more, but Jane would be out for most of the day anyway, and I would come to her at first dark.

“I’m not leaving her,” Bill said, and I heard a tremble in his voice. Gods, he must actually think his obsession with Sookie was love.

“Longshadow kept a coffin in the back. He liked to feed before resting, so it might be a bit messy, but you’re welcome to it,” I offered. I would need to purchase a guest coffin to keep here at the bar. I put it on my mental to-do list. I turned to leave, but Bill’s next words stopped me.

“I want to thank you for your hospitality and for saving Sookie’s life,” he said.

“I’m sure there’s a way she can repay me,” I told him with a calculated smile.

I was bringing that sugar-scented telepath to Dallas.

****

Chapter Text

Chap 18

Godric’s POV - Friday, July 17th, 2009

I was trapped. It was actually wholly hilarious. The church didn’t know enough about vampires to understand that the entire bar of the cell didn’t need to be silver for most vampires, but in the way of ignorance, they had overdone it, and even I would not be able to escape the cage they had constructed. I laughed hollowly. I supposed this would be an acceptable way to die, a way to truly repent for my sins. I didn’t mind. Not really.

The humans would often come to talk to me. One called Gabe wanted to know about vampire sex more than I felt was normal, and I did not indulge him. The Reverend Newlin came down and spoke to me about God, and I could see that much of what he said he truly believed. How comforting it must be for him to have such total faith in something.

Vampires don’t have dreams often. It is significant when we do. Before I fell into my day rest, I had thought of what my mysterious woman would say to me, trapped in this silver cage. This is what prompted my dream.

“What are you doing down here?” she asked, stroking her delicate hand along the bars of the cage.

“Waiting to die,” I told her. “I suppose that’s what all humans are doing.”

She gave me that look with those wide eyes of hers. The one that said she was going to challenge me and change me. “How are you going to get out of this?”

“Who says that I have to?” I asked her in return. “Certainly not you.”

I was angry with her, why did she appear here, but not on our mountain top?

“Yes, me. And Eric. You know he’ll come looking for you.” I sighed. She was right. Eric would. I just hoped he wouldn’t find me. I was keeping the bond closed for just that reason. I didn’t want him to get killed due to my insanity.

“Why are you here? Why haven’t you come back to our ridge?” I asked her with longing.

She looked at me and smiled this sweet, sad smile.

I snapped awake. Damn that mystery woman! I wanted to hate her. I wanted to curse her for giving me something to live for. I wanted to meet the sun if only to prove her wrong...and to burn the feeling of her forgiveness from my chest. I had never felt that before, that welling of emotion so strong that it seemed to flow over her and into me. I had known deep in my bones, in my soul, if I had one, that she truly believed me to be forgiven.

How? I should never have been. The horror I inflicted in my early days... Damn her, and her forgiveness! I would not work on an escape plan. I would wait in this cell to die. Eric would manage. He had Pam; hopefully, he had released his tie from the human that he had claimed.

I laid on the cot they had provided, staring at the ceiling. No, I would do nothing. I would be nothing. I could not hope anymore, and I could not ache for something that I did not have and could not find.

It was over—a fleeting moment.

Gone, and never to return.

****

Jane’s POV - Saturday, July 18th, 2009

I woke up feeling strange. Sookie was sitting across from me, staring at me hard. I could feel the anger rolling off her in waves. I sat up, and she started interrogating me.

“Did you know that they have Lafayette chained up in the basement?” she asked me.

My mind couldn’t think about that; it was like I was drawing a blank.

“Oh my god! He glamoured it out of you!” she said shrilly. “Sick, twisted…” She walked away from me, mumbling.

I looked over and saw Ginger cleaning glasses behind the bar. “I didn’t tell her, honest!” Ginger said to me. “It was like she read my mind!”

Of course, Eric remembered to glamour me but couldn’t be bothered to block up ol’ swiss cheese over there. In some ways, I was surprised that Eric had left me here, but then I guess I was so injured it was probably not safe to move me. I got up and saw that I was wearing a long red Fangtasia shirt and my white keds from yesterday. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, slowly rotating my face side to side, and I noticed I was glowing. I looked great. Apparently, vampire blood did wonders for the skin.

Making my way out of the bathroom, I went and sat at the bar and began to eat some peanut butter directly from the jar again. I nearly fell off the barstool when I sensed something in my heart. I felt like I was having a heart attack. Then I realized it was Eric...he was rising from his day rest, and I could feel that he wasn’t too far away, he must be at the nest. He was sending me a feeling… questioning if I was okay? I took a deep breath and sent it back to him. It was like this long invisible tether from my heart out to him. It felt both terrifying and wonderful.

My heart felt whole... I sat at the bar, just reaching out for Eric with that extra sense. I could feel him. His emotions, he was poking me through the bond, enjoying the sensation. I laid back down the cushions, feeling a bit overwhelmed, and he stopped prodding me. I could tell that it was getting closer to dark. I needed him to be here. I felt almost sick being apart from him. Antsy and anxious. He sent me soothing calmness, and I tried to relax. I could feel that he was getting closer. He must be coming over now.

Sookie was waiting at a table watching me, and I wondered how much she had read from my mind. Bill came out from the back room, and she sprung up to greet him.

They hugged, and I wondered if their bond felt like mine. It was… hard to even explain.

“You’re still angry about our fight? Sookie, none of that matters anymore,” Bill told her, pulling away.

“You’re right. I’m alive and in one piece, unlike my friend Lafayette, who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death,” Sookie told him, outraged.

Bleed to death? I wondered what had happened and instinctively reached out to Eric again. He was very close now - I could feel it.

“What?” Bill asked, confused.

“You better not have known anything about this, Bill Compton, because if you did, I don’t think I could ever forgive you!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Eric came in the back door, and my heart swelled happily. Was that my emotion or his?

“I imagine she’s referring to the human in my basement. The human traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood, which, as you know, is a grave offense,” Eric explained.

“His name is Lafayette, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for what you’ve done to him.” Sookie marched up to him and slapped him across the face. I felt the sting of it bloom across our bond, and I felt Eric’s ire.

“Sookie!” Bill warned her.

Eric looked over at me, and he sent me a playful nudge in the bond.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he told Sookie. He could have reacted much worse. What was his plan here? “You both are looking quite lovely. That color suits you very well,” he told Sookie.

“Go to hell!” she hissed at him.

“Sookie, enough!” Bill told her, and I could feel his embarrassment. Tilting my head, I couldn’t help as my brow furrowed, and I stared at Bill in thought. She was shaming him... Eric looked at me curiously but said nothing.

“Oh, it’s not nearly enough! They’ve tortured him, and bitten him, and shot him, and kept him down in his own filth for weeks!” Sookie shouted.

I was a bit alarmed. Tortured him? Bitten him? Shot him?

“Is this true?” Bill asked.

“There are others who would have done far worse, and you know it,” Eric stated calmly, not denying it.

I gulped. I had always felt that Eric had a code. That he wouldn’t stoop so low...was I wrong?

“You’re going to let him go right now, or I swear, I'm going to go to the police,” Sookie threatened him.

Eric dropped his fangs, invaded her space, and growled at her intentionally.

“I do not respond well to threats.” He backed off. “But perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement.” He smiled and gestured to his office. “Please.”

I followed them into the office, and Eric pulled me to him. My heart sang at the feeling, so lovely, so connected. I wanted to crawl inside him and never leave. This was what the blood bond felt like? I had no idea...

“I will offer you a deal, Miss Stackhouse. There is a vampire, the sheriff of Dallas… He has gone missing. I would like you to accompany us and use your telepathy to help me locate him,” Eric said, his large hands on my small waist.

“So if I agree to go to Dallas to help look for this missing vampire, you’ll let Lafayette go?” she clarified.

“No, you nearly died last night. You are not going to Dallas,” Bill tried to order her.

“Bill, I can make up my own mind,” Sookie said to him stubbornly, and I felt that rosy burn of embarrassment from him again.

“I will pay all of your expenses, of course. And yes, I will release your friend,” Eric offered. I imagined that he was going to have to do that anyway.

“And I want five thousand dollars,” Sookie demanded. Bill gave her a look, and she turned to him. “I’ve missed a lot of work, and I need a driveway,” she explained.

I felt Eric through the bond. He really wanted her to come to Dallas; he wanted every tool at his disposal to help find his maker.

“Your human is getting cocky,” he told Bill, and I understood Bill’s embarrassment more. She was his human, and when she defied him, it reflected poorly on him.

“She will take ten thousand, and I will escort her.” Bill upped the stakes, I thought, in the hope that Eric would turn them down and she wouldn’t go to Dallas at all.

“I don’t think so, no,” Eric said, not wanting to play his game.

“Yes. Ten thousand and Bill comes with me, or it’s a deal-breaker.” Sookie crossed her arms sassily.

Eric was surprised and then thought for a moment, and I felt him concede in the bond. He pressed a button on his desk phone and said something in Swedish.

“You surprise me. And that is a rare quality in a breather,” Eric told Sookie, and I knew that’s what he liked about me as well, that I surprised him.

“You disgust me,” Sookie snapped back at him. Bill bristled under the disrespectful tone she took with Eric.

“Perhaps I’ll grow on you,” Eric suggested idly.

“I’d prefer cancer.” She continued to push, and I felt Eric’s irritation with her rise. Or maybe it was my irritation, and I had a hard time sorting my feelings from his.

“You need to leave immediately,” Eric said to Bill.

“I will make the travel arrangements, but I will need your credit card number,” Bill told him.

The door burst open, and Pam arrived, dropping a wounded Lafayette at our feet.

“Such a shame. I was hoping I could convince Eric to let me keep you,” Pam complained.

“No, you already have enough pets,” Eric replied, stroking my neck, making me shiver.

“No offense, but you ain’t exactly my type, bitch,” Lafayette said, with little heat.

“Can I kick him?” Pam asked Eric, miffed.

“You can try,” Bill said in response, and I saw Pam straighten, ready to fight him.

“Enough. Have Chow fetch their car,” Eric ordered. He slid away from me and knelt down to look at Lafayette. He stroked him softly with one finger. “I’ll see you around, I’m sure,” Eric said teasingly.

“Oh, don’t bet on it, baby. I’m retiring. I’m done with you crazy-ass fuckers. Done,” Lafayette responded, clearly scared of Eric. It rolled off him. Eric looked at me sharply and then stood. He returned to my side and pulled me in his arms as Bill scooped up Lafayette, and they all left.

Once we were alone in the office I nuzzled into Eric. He felt like peace and home.

“Your emotions are all over the place,” he told the top of my head.

“Sorry,” I responded, not sure how to explain what I had figured out about myself. “The bond is so…” I struggled. I smashed my feelings across the bond to him, and he staggered.

“You feel so deeply,” he whispered to me. “I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“Is it bad?” I asked him.

“No. It’s just different. I’ve told you, you’re different.” He grinned at me. “You’re coming with me to Dallas.”

“Okay… But why?” I asked. “I’m not sure how I can help.”

He looked at me, and I felt something raw come across our bond. “No…it’s for you. You’ll feel ill if we’re parted, at least for the first few days or so as the bond settles. I didn’t want to leave you the first night, but I didn’t feel it was safe to move you,” he explained.

I nodded—that made sense, why I had felt so antsy and anxious.

“Can you release the glamour on me?” I asked, now that he had released his prisoner.

He quickly released me, and then I asked him about what happened with Lafayette, and he explained how he had tried to escape, how Ginger had shot him, and how they had assumed he would die.

“He offered me a deal. He said I could turn him, save his life and his leg.” Eric looked over at me, and I could sense his discomfort discussing this with me. “I find him very compelling. He’s intelligent and brave in a way that many are not. To be honest, I was thinking of turning him. He’s quite interesting…he would make a good vampire. I was very seriously considering turning him,” Eric sighed uncomfortably. “The timing is appalling to have a newborn right now, with my maker missing,” he explained, surprising me. It still astounded me that people could actually become vampires. “I didn’t mean to let him suffer. I’ve had a lot on my mind with Godric missing. I probably shouldn’t have left him in the basement bleeding out while I made up my mind. Pam, Chow, and I had started to drain him while I debated..”

I nodded. I guess I understood better. If they thought Lafayette would die, it made sense to drink from him; they wouldn’t want his blood to go to waste. He acknowledged that he shouldn’t have left him in suffering.

“I feel your understanding in the bond, you… don’t accept it, but you understand. You strange creature,” he whispered into the shell of my ear as I pressed my body close to his. “I have to make calls now, arrangements for our stay in Dallas,” he explained.

“Okay. Can… can I go home?” I asked him.

He pulled me to him. “You will get sick if you leave,” he reminded me. “I will take you to Bon Temps to pack before we go to Dallas tomorrow. Stay here, next to me, let the bond settle.”

I agreed and curled into his lap while he made calls. I felt extremely relaxed and comfortable, and the feeling bounced back and forth between us as he was on the phone. He took a break and nuzzled me, his fangs down, and I felt his hunger starting to rise.

“You’re thirsty,” I told him. “Would you like to feed from me?” I asked, and I felt his hunger rise even further, tinged with lust.

“Yes...but we should wait. Until we’re back at the nest,” Eric replied with dark eyes.

Pam burst in and looked at us, amused. “Completed the blood bond?” she asked. “Well, at least yah didn’t die. He’d be an ass about it for years if you did.”

“Hi Pam, it’s nice to see you too,” I replied, and Eric chuckled.

“Do you want a ride back to the nest?” she asked.

“Yes, let’s go,” Eric agreed, and I sat in the back of a fancy vehicle as Eric drove us back to the nest. He explained to Pam that we would be leaving tomorrow night to go to Dallas and how she will be in charge of his sheriff’s duties and running the bar while he is gone. She nodded, and I could tell that she took the responsibility seriously.

She said some things to him in Swedish, and he barked back at her, also Swedish, and I felt the tension rise in the car.

We got to the nest and went in, and Pam went straight down to her basement room. I wondered what she had said that had offended him and caused her to be mad at him.

“Are you fighting about me?” I asked him, and I felt him simmering in the bond.

“She’s a little jealous. It will pass,” Eric told me as he pulled me to him and snuggled me on the couch.

“I don’t want to cause any problems,” I told him, and he laughed.

“You’re nothing but problems, I’ve known you for four weeks, and you’ve been hurt so much that I’ve had to form a permanent blood bond with you so you wouldn’t die.” I felt his fear and hurt across the bond. “You never do what I expect you to, and I don’t understand what you want at all.”

“I never got hurt this much before I moved here. I mean, scrapes and bruises from my adventures, but… never like this.” I swallowed. “If it helps...I don’t know what I want either.”

We laid in silence, both of us lost in thought, and I was thinking about what I wanted. I liked the bond now, but I was worried that I would hate it. That it would feel intrusive or invasive...but it felt perfectly right, and that surprised me. I could live the rest of my life feeling Eric right there in my heart, a little niggling piece of him, always there.

“What are you thinking, love?” he asked me.

“I was thinking about how I like the way the bond feels,” I told him, and he began to nuzzle me.

“It’s a double-edged sword. It feels wonderful when we’re like this...but it can be weaponized against you. We should not make it common knowledge that we are blood bonded. Some may guess it, especially right now as you have more than a few drops of my blood in you, but never confirm it,” he told me seriously.

“Okay. What do you mean it can be weaponized against me?” I asked, and I knew that my fear was trickling out to him because he pulled me in closer.

“You feel my pain, and I feel your pain,” he said. “Someone could hurt one of us in order to hurt the other.”

I swallowed. “Oh.”

“I take my duty to you very seriously. I will protect you,” Eric solemnly promised.

“Yeah, that’s been going really well for us so far,” I replied with sarcasm, but I stopped when I felt his shame in the bond. “I’m sorry, I was just kidding.”

“I have failed you. I have dishonored you,” Eric admitted.

“I’m fine. You haven’t failed me - I’m alive and healthy and safe. Right here, in your arms,” I tried to reassure him. He pulled me even more against his body and breathed my scent in, and I felt him calm slightly.

“Dallas is dangerous. You will need to be extra cautious, especially since the sheriff is missing. I have only my own power to shield you from other vampires. I will need you to follow my orders and instructions precisely.”

I nodded. “I will. I don’t want to embarrass you like Sookie does Bill.”

He looked at me curiously. “How can you tell?”

I shrugged, not prepared to explain my new realization about knowing how others feel. “I just could. When she defies him, it makes Bill look bad, doesn’t it?”

Eric nodded. He looked guarded for a moment as if deciding how much he wanted to tell me. “Her telepathic abilities prevent her from being glamoured.”

I gasped. How lucky Sookie was!

“It means that Bill has resorted to more covert means to try to control her. He is feeding her copious amounts of his blood for one. It would not surprise me if she were addicted. He is trying to get a dream weaver to send her a dream. She has been manipulated, but he still only has a tenuous grasp on her. She has a very strong mind, but she has certainly been taken in by him,” he sighed. “Perhaps I should call his maker, although from what I know of her…” he trailed off.

“What?” I asked, and he flipped me over, so I was lying on top of him.

“She is sadistic. The first time I met Bill, they had already drained several women that worked in a brothel.”

I thought about that. Bill’s maker draining women. How awful...

“Lorena, Bill’s maker, is obsessed with him. Perhaps we can use her to get Sookie out from under his power?” he suggested. “Sookie is an asset to our area.”

“And you know… a person,” I reminded him.

“That too,” he agreed, as an afterthought.

I rolled my eyes, and he grinned at me.

“You don’t have to like her to think that he shouldn’t manipulate her, and we don’t know what he wants from her,” I said to him.

He looked at me intensely. “What do you think he wants from her?”

“He is very territorial of her, and wants to control her. At the same time, he thinks he’s in love with her, but really he wants to… own her,” I explained my thoughts.

I laid my head on his chest while he thought. I heard only my own heartbeat. I felt him let his thirst flow across the bond. I sat up and looked him in the eye. Eric was torn between looking me in the face and looking at the pulse point of my neck.

“Can you bite me here now?” I asked him, trailing my hand on my neck. “Since we’re bonded, you could heal it?”

He nodded, and I leaned my neck over his mouth. I felt him lick across my jugular, and his thirst rose even higher. He breathed deeply, and I did the same. My arousal was already high, and he had barely touched me. I heard the snick of his fangs and felt the gentle scraping of them against my neck while I rubbed my body along his and moaned.

He groaned against me. Obviously unable to wait any longer, he bit down, and the sharp sting was glorious. I felt my blood rushing into his open mouth, and our tether became stronger, tighter, like a thousand braided ropes connecting us. For a moment, I felt as if I was him. As if I was inhabiting his body with him. Never had I felt so close to another; it was beyond words.

I blinked a few times and realized that I had blacked out. I was still lying on top of Eric, and he was stroking my hair.

“Holy fuck,” he said to the ceiling, and I giggled. He looked up at me appraisingly.

“What are you?”

That I didn’t know.

*****

Eric’s POV - Sunday, July 19th, 2009

When I woke from my day rest, I could immediately tell that Jane was upstairs and felt uneasy. The bond was so new, and she would feel that way even if she was only slightly parted from me for at least a few days until my blood settled in her. Once, many years ago, I had asked Godric about the purpose of blood bonds, and he had told me that he believed it was to prepare a human to the tie they would feel to their maker if they were turned. A trial period as it were.

I went upstairs and found that Jane was in the shower.

“Shall I join you?” I asked her.

“Please do,” she said, and I stepped under the water with her. She collapsed into my arms, and I realized that she had felt more than just uneasy - she had been borderline ill, and I was just downstairs. She rubbed her face into my chest as if trying to burrow into me. “Why do I feel this way?” she asked, near tears. I held her closely, hoping it would help.

“Our bond is profound and strong. I imagine that it must mean that you will feel unwell if we are apart as it settles. Especially when I am awake.”

She nodded her head into my flesh, and I took a moment to appreciate the dips and curves of her body. I used her rose-scented soap and washed her creamy skin. She relaxed under my touch, but I felt her uneasiness linger. I continued to wash her long fine hair, and she conditioned just the ends. She took her time washing my body then and also teasingly washed my erection. She made me gasp as she grinned. I liked that she was coming into her own power with her sexuality, and I knew now with the bond she would come to me when she was ready. It would probably help the bond settle if she decided to give herself to me. I wouldn’t tell her that, though. I never wanted her to have any other reason to give herself to me other than that she wanted to.

After rinsing thoroughly, we stepped out and dried off, and she wore one of my shirts and a pair of my boxers. I dressed for flying to Dallas, but I took her to the kitchen when I felt her hunger through the bond. Without thinking long, she helped herself to one of her protein drinks from the cabinet. “Can you drink that while I pack?” I asked her, and she nodded. I packed a random assortment of clothes and other necessities. She sipped her protein drink and didn't ask me any questions, which I appreciated.

She finished her drink around the same time I finished packing. I pulled her to me, letting her nuzzle in a bit, her need for proximity heightened. This trip was going to be complicated.

“We shall go to your house and have you change and pack. Then I have a quick matter to attend to, and then we will go to Dallas,” I explained to her. I pulled a jacket of mine from the closet and swathed her in it so she wouldn’t freeze during the flight. My little kitten spent the entire flight pressing her face to me, snuggling in and breathing me in. I felt her joy and calm at our closeness.

I could feel so much more from her than I had felt with my bond with Sylvie. Was it that then the bond was not very deep? My blood was only slightly older now, so it probably wasn’t that. Perhaps it was just Jane herself? She had always claimed she was sensitive, and this was perhaps a reflection of that. I didn’t entertain the notion that it was because I cared more deeply for Jane; I pushed that idea far from my mind.

When we reached Jane’s house, she changed into dark jeans and a sweet white blouse. She packed a random assortment of clothes, just as I had, along with her book and her sketching materials. She took a moment and asked me to braid her hair back, and I did so, making a lovely, not too tight french braid that would stay neat on our flight to Dallas.

She turned to me when she was all ready to go. “So now just your errand?” she asked.

I nodded. I figured Jane would approve of what I planned to do, but we would see. I left our luggage in her entryway, and we flew south to the plywood hut that Chow said that Lafeyette Reynolds resided in. I set Jane down, and she looked at me curiously, trying to figure out what we were doing here.

I zipped up to the window, and Jane followed me. Lafayette was lying on his couch watching his television, fanning himself with a small hand fan. He was not doing well; the smell of his festering gunshot wound was nauseating.

“Good evening, Lafayette,” I greeted him, and he was immediately frightened, his heart thudding deliciously.

“No. You can’t come into my house unless I invite you in, and I ain’t nowhere near that crazy,” he told me from the floor, having fallen off his sofa in fright.

“You have to come out eventually. I have all the time in the world,” I lied to him idly, and I felt Jane poke me in the bond as if to say ‘Be nice!’

“You let me go!” Lafayette exclaimed, bewildered about why we were there.

“I gave you a very generous gift.” He looked confused. “The gift of not killing you.”

I felt Jane’s eye roll in the bond, even if she didn’t show it on her face.

“And I’m here to give you something else.” I stuck my hand through his open window, turning it over to show him the blue veins of my wrist. “The healing elixir that is my thousand-year-old blood.”

Jane gasped. I had surprised her. Lafayette froze and glanced between my wrist and my face, his expression both that of fear and confusion.

“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Your leg is already infected. I can smell it,” I told him, and I knew that it wouldn’t take much persuading to get him to agree. Not like with Jane, my inscrutable woman. “You don’t get that taken care of, and you could lose it.”

“Why do you want to give me your blood?” he asked. Jane looked at me as well, interested to hear my answer.

“I like you,” I told him, a partial truth. I wanted to track him, have him as an informant, and also...I hadn’t entirely given up on the idea that I should turn him.

“Bullshit,” he replied, flicking the little fan at me. “You want to be able to keep track of me. Why?”

I looked over at Jane. “It has been pointed out to me that I made you suffer. That was not my intention.”

He mulled on that.

“You really have no choice, Lafayette. You know it.”

“Fuck.” He popped some kind of pill. “You can come in, I guess.”

We entered, and I pulled Jane into my lap on a chair. I bit my wrist and offered it to Lafayette. He looked at me one last time as if it was a trick, and then he began to drink. I felt my blood enter him, and Jane stiffened on my lap. Her mood was strange, and it was almost as if she felt like she was drinking my blood too. I watched her curiously, and she looked a little glazed. I got a bit distracted and realized that I had given Lafayette too much.

“That’s enough,” I told him and flicked him off. “Don’t be greedy.” My phone rang, and I adjusted Jane in my lap so I could answer it. It was Bill. He was supposed to have called me hours ago.

“You were supposed to call me when you landed.”

“We were ambushed,” he reported.

“By whom?” I asked.

“You know exactly by whom, Eric. The Fellowship of the Sun. Why didn’t you tell me they were involved?”

I now had proof that they were somehow linked to Godric’s disappearance.

“I didn’t know for sure. Now I do.” I snarked back at him; I didn’t like his attitude.

“You could’ve shared your suspicions with me.”

“I could’ve, but I didn’t. You should remember that I am your sheriff, Bill. We are not equal. And if that displeases you, take it up with the Magister or the Queen,” I said, reminding him of his place. Then I hung up on him—arrogant little prick.

Jane had closed her eyes and was breathing in and out in my lap. I couldn’t feel any emotion from her in the bond. Lafayette was clearly feeling the influence of the blood and had started dancing.

“Whoo! Get that shit. Mm. There you go. Get that shit. Fuck. Get it.” He made some very impressive pelvic thrusting moves to the floor, and the idle thought he would do very well at Fangtasia crossed my mind. Yet another reason I should have turned him. I could see many benefits of having him as my youngest progeny, not all of them honorable. So few men caught my attention, and here was one that was brave, an entrepreneur, and would probably get on swimmingly with my first child. I would revisit the idea once I had located Godric.

“How’s the leg?” I asked, but it was clear that his wound was healed.

“Shit, I just want to fucking dance!” he said as he thrust against a chair. Jane was looking at me like she wanted to leave, and I could feel her impatience in the bond.

“How nice for you.”

Lafayette continued to dance and swear, and I scooped Jane up.

“Well, we must fly,” I said offhandedly to Lafayette as we sped out of his home, and I took Jane and I into the sky.

“That was a nice thing you did,” Jane said to me.

I scoffed. “Hardly. I now have an informant,” I told her. “One that owes me his life, twice over.”

“Whatever you say,” she replied, and I wondered if she knew that I had also healed him for her. So she wouldn’t have to feel any guilt if something happened to him. She was making me soft. I knew that, but I didn’t particularly care. If I wanted to shield her from my more violent tendencies, it was just one more way I could protect her.

We stopped to get our luggage, and then we were off.

To Dallas.

Chapter Text

Chap 19

Jane’s POV Sunday, July 19th & Monday, July 20th, 2009

The hotel was fancy and probably one of the nicest hotels I had ever been in. I wished that Eric and I were still in our impressive suite, perhaps trying out the massive tub together, but instead, we were in the hotel bar appeasing Bill. Eric had me situated in his lap and was chatting with my undead ancestor. Eric had politely offered Bill something on the menu. It appeared that they had live donors available, but Bill had ordered an overpriced Tru Blood, and began to voice his concerns as he waited for the drink to be brought to him.

“I am worried about Sookie’s safety. The Fellowship was trying to abduct her specifically. They knew we were coming,” Bill stated.

“I admire you, Bill. It takes a real vampire to admit that he cannot protect his human,” Eric said, and I knew it was a big insult. I knew how seriously Eric took protecting me.

“And it takes a true monster to not care about anyone, or anything, other than himself,” Bill retorted, eyeing me up and down like I was just Eric’s plaything and meal ticket.

“I care about others,” Eric dryly said as he stroked my cheek.

“You care about Godric.”

Eric looked at him sharply at these words, but Bill didn't let that stop him from continuing.

“You have no obligations to Dallas or Texas. This is personal for you. Why?”

I realized then that Bill didn’t know that Godric was Eric’s maker.

The waitress came and set down Bill’s Tru Blood, and Eric saw it as an opportune time to change the subject.

“I hope you’ll enjoy your blood substitute, which is costing me forty-five dollars.” I felt that Eric was peeved about how much the hotel charged for it. Eric’s irritation hummed on the edges of my mind like a circling swarm of angry bees, and I resisted the urge to shift around on his lap anxiously.

“Well, I have no intention of drinking it. I just want you to pay for it,” Bill retorted snidely.

“Oh, you’re so mature,” Eric replied, and I knew that he was not going to give Bill the answers he wanted.

“Answer the question. Why this allegiance to Godric?”

“He’s much beloved by his subjects,” Eric said, putting him off.

“Only kings and queens have subjects, Eric, not sheriffs,” Bill told him, and I realized that I hated his smarmy face. The next second I started wondering how much of what I felt was mine and how much was Eric.

“Godric could have been the king of Texas had he wanted. He could have been the king of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as I am and very powerful,” Eric defended any affront to his maker’s honor. I wondered if his maker is as terrifying as he sounds. An image of a Dracula-like character loomed in my mind. “There are none above him in the New World.”

Yes, Eric’s maker was probably quite terrifying.

“Well, if he’s so powerful, how could they abduct him?”

“Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can be taken by humans, then none of us is safe.” I felt Eric’s worry thread through me icily.

“What can I give you to release Sookie from her agreement?” Bill asked him, moving on from his line of questioning about Godric.

“Nothing,” Eric replied. “And since you like humans so much, I think you would want to protect them. The vampires here, they’re like cowboys. If they don’t get Godric back, they want justice. They’ll start attacking people.” I sensed Bill’s surprise, like a swift pat. How had I not noticed that I actually felt what others felt? Had I really just written it off as being sensitive and introverted? Now that I knew I couldn’t stop doing it.

“Open aggression against humans? That’s insane.”

Eric leaned back, and I laid my head under his chin.

“Well, it’s Texas.”

Bill thought about that for a moment.

“I don’t like that you’ve pulled Sookie into this. Don’t think that I’m not aware of what you’re doing. I won’t let you put Sookie in danger,” Bill threatened and then stalked away.

Eric indicated for me to stand, and we went back to our lovely suite, where he started to make phone calls. Meanwhile, I changed into my pajamas and crawled into the middle of the bed after getting my sketchbook out of my bag. Looking through some of my old sketches, I wondered if my silver-eyed vampire knew anything about Godric. Probably not. I was feeling a strange mixture of guilt and nostalgia about him. I turned to a fresh new page and began to sketch the ridge where we met as if sketching it could somehow make me feel less strange.

I was half-listening to Eric’s phone conversations as well. Apparently, we were expected at Godric’s nest the following evening. The next phone call he made was to Bill’s maker. I wasn’t surprised, Eric hated being threatened, and Bill’s last remark to him put him over the edge. I didn’t know if getting a sadistic vampire that was obsessed with Bill to come was such a great idea, but it did feel better than doing nothing and letting Bill’s manipulation of Sookie continue.

The last phone call that Eric made was to Pam, and he seemed to explode with rage through the bond. I physically felt myself shake. He was on the phone with Pam one minute, and on the next, he appeared to be speaking with the Queen. She was asking him to sell something he didn’t want to sell. His voice always remained respectful, and I was able to appreciate what a good actor he was because his rage through the bond was potent.

When he hung up, I didn’t dare ask him what it was about. He fell onto the bed with me and started stripping my clothes off, and then his own, and he rubbed our bare skin together. It felt marvelous and the bond hummed with joy. I felt aroused but also like the timing just wasn’t...right. I didn’t want my first time with Eric to be when he was coming out of a rage. I felt myself drip on him and his fangs dropped at the sensation.

“Let me feed from you?” he asked.

I nodded and he crawled down and placed his head between my thighs while taking several long deep breaths there. He licked my inner thigh gently and then bit me sharply. I was already careening with pleasure, my body tingling from the feeling through the bond. His bite sent me over the edge and I was already coming on him. He drank and drank. I was lost in the sensation, and then… I was gone. The velvety darkness embracing me.

****

I blinked several times and I realized that Eric was cursing and dripping his blood into my mouth.

“Damn you and your delicious blood,” he was saying, more to himself than me. “How can I use the bond to know when to stop if you like the feeling of my draining you dry? Do you have no sense of self-preservation?”

His anger skittered down the bond to me, but it was mostly covering his fear.

“I will not be able to feed from you until Godric is found. My control is… not what it should be,” he admitted and I felt disappointed. I loved his bite.

“You insane woman! You cannot honestly be disappointed. I could kill you!” he yelled as he took his wrist away.

I laid there a bit dazed and when Eric laid against me he pulled me in tightly. I felt his emotions and they were overwhelming. Anger and fear, roiling, and churning. I took a deep breath in and I tried to send him calm. Eventually, it leaked through and he fell into his day rest. I laid awake wondering about all that I was learning, all that I was feeling.

I didn’t know what any of it meant.

Why was I so comfortable with the fact that our blood bond had physically tied me to Eric? Normally, I think I would have protested such a thing, but I was so content in the bond. I liked the fuzzy warmness in my heart.

And about the other… thing? How could I have not realized earlier in my life that I felt other’s feelings? Is this why I was such an introvert? I gasped out loud when I realized that I probably had conflated my feelings during my first time… Oh my God. That’s why I thought it was normal...because I could tell that Alastor was enjoying it. The feeling he had, it wasn’t his love of me, it was his love of ripping me apart.

I thought back over my entire life and how I always mixed up my own feelings with that of others. Did I even know how I felt at all? Glancing at my sketchbook I thought of my first vampire. I had felt his heartache, but had unconsciously used my power to wash it away. And in doing so I had saved him! Realizing it, that thought brought me so much comfort. I knew that I had felt some of what he had felt, but I had been able to use it for good.

Closing my eyes I tried to rest, and I fell quickly into a dream.

“I think you do have a death wish,” silver-eyes told me as we stared out of the ridge. “Why else would you be out here again?”

I laughed, “I thought you were the one that had the death wish, and that I changed your mind.”

He grinned back at me, and I saw that perfect bow-lipped smile. “I’m fickle,” he said.

“Mmmm… I’m not. I’m pretty decisive.”

“Then why haven’t you made up your mind about Eric?” he asked. “If you’re so decisive.”

I hesitated. “It’s because of the feeling,” I told him.

“The feeling?”

“The one I felt when I was here… the one I can’t seem to find again. I feel like I’m so close…” I sighed.

“You are close.” I turned around and saw Eric strolling up to us. “You’ve almost found it.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “And how would you know?” I asked.

He pointed to his chest. “I’ll always know.”

The bond. He would be able to feel that feeling too! How I couldn’t wait to share it with him!

“Oh, Eric! That’s it!” I jumped into his arms, and he spun me around. “When I find it again, you’ll get to feel it too and I will finally be able to explain myself to you.”

He stopped and set me down. Looking into his unfathomable eyes I then realized what I just said.

“Will… that solve the mystery for you?” I asked him.

I looked over at my first vampire, and he came up and grabbed my hand.

“So now the question is… do you try to find that feeling again, knowing what you’ll lose when you do?”

I woke with a gasp, and Eric was staring at me with his icy ocean eyes.

“Not a good dream?” he asked. I shook my head. How late had I slept? I looked over at the clock surprised to see that it was almost 4:00 pm! I guess I had stayed up pretty late trying to figure things out.

Eric seemed intense, his ocean eyes staring at me, and I almost felt like I could see the waves of his mind crashing against the rocks at his hidden turmoil.

“I want to test out the bath, want to join me?” I asked him, hoping that it would relax us both, and he agreed. He started the taps and we got in the water together. Our bond sang in pleasure and sent a caress over my skin.

“Mmm… is it always like this?” I asked.

“No,” he responded, his voice gravelly. “I’ve only had a blood bond three times before, and the first one was when I was still human and it was only for one night.”

“Your maker?” I guessed.

“Yes. He… saved my life. Godric stole me off my funeral bier and had to feed me much of his blood. It was enough to make the bond,” he started to explain, drawing lazy circles with his fingers on my skin. “He took me to a cave near the sea where he removed all the scars and tattoos from my body, healing them with his blood. Then he drained me of almost all of my blood and fed me his again, so I would have it fresh in my heart. The transition only works if you have fresh vampire blood in your heart before it stops beating. I was still going to die, even with all his blood in me. He...he didn’t want me to suffer.”

I turned to look at him. His voice sounded a little quieter, muffled as if his mind was just back there a thousand years ago and only his body was present but didn't have the power to speak at its normal narrative volume.

“So, he killed me by continuing to drink until he also absorbed my very last drop of blood.”

“Did you feel it? Your death?” I asked him also in a whisper.

“Yes, and I still feel it now. He may have killed me but he also gave me eternal life. It is a gift I still struggle to understand.”

There wasn’t anything I could say to that. How could I even begin to comprehend what that might mean?

“You’re very thoughtful,” he said. “Tell me what you think of this.”

“I was just thinking that it’s beyond my comprehension,” I explained. “I’ve always lived my life as if every moment is a fleeting beautiful thing, and I think of you and how you have these infinite number of moments, all laid out before you. You must feel…” I trailed off not able to put it into words. “Does life become more meaningful or does it become meaningless, when you have nothing but time before you?”

He thought for a while and I began to wonder if he would answer me.

“For some, I imagine it does become meaningless. I had a time where I felt that way… I was bored. Unsure what to do with my existence. Then I made Pam, the second blood bond I ever had and it also only lasted one night. She gave me purpose and direction. She’s...don’t ever tell her that I said this, but she’s my baby.” I heard his grin and felt his pride in the bond. “I don’t know what I would have done if that little cheat hadn’t forced my hand into making her. She slit her wrists, and I had to change her or let her die.”

I hadn’t known that. Pam was… either insane or brave. I wondered if her life had been so terrible that death had seemed to be a better option.

“Those that enter our lives make it meaningful,” he told me. “You give me purpose as well.”

“Me?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, my troublesome delicious little riddle, you.” He tickled me lightly and I laughed.

I was starting to understand him better. He would never be able to care for me like a human would; he couldn’t. The magnitude of his life was so much greater than mine, if he loved the humans that came into his life he would be in constant mourning. We aged, and withered and died in the blink of his immortal eye. He did care for me in his own way, and I was fine with that. I knew that our association wouldn’t last forever, that at some point it would change. I could appreciate this time, this man, and the bond we had. We joked and played in the water for a bit after that and I felt the impulse to kiss him, so I did.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“I… just wanted to,” I said. “Is that okay?”

“When we are alone, absolutely,” he said and he kissed me back as well. “We should probably get out, we have to go to Godric’s nest and deal with his underlings.”

I stepped out and started to dry off. “How should I behave, in front of the other vampires?” I asked.

“You should just obey me. If you need something just let me know, respectfully,” he said. “After I’ll be meeting with Lorena, Bill’s maker. I was hoping to see if I can meet her in the hotel bar and you can stay here, it won’t be a long meeting and it would be a good chance to test to see how well the bond has settled.”

“What if it hasn’t?” I asked, I didn’t like the idea of being parted.

“Then I will come right back up. I will also feed, so as to not accidentally kill you.”

I shrugged. I didn’t think he would kill me, but I also didn’t really care if he fed on someone else. I started to go get dressed but he stopped me.

“I wish you wouldn’t take the threat of me so lightly,” he said. “You should know that it’s possible.”

“I know,” I told him.

He let me go but still wasn't satisfied with my acceptance.

I dressed in a nice pink dress, and put on makeup to make myself look presentable.

“I forget how young you are sometimes,” he said as he watched me slide on my flats. “You look...even younger, dressed like this.”

“I have a young face,” I told him. “Does it bother you?”

The feeling of arousal he pushed to me through the bond answered my question. We went out to the lobby and Bill and Sookie were already waiting for us there. Sookie was all dolled up for Dallas and looked feisty. Eric had arranged for a town car to take us to the modern house that was Godric’s nest. It looked rather like a beautiful fortress.

Eric steered me inside, his hand on the back of my neck territorially. The house was amazingly large and modern, with many interesting objects displayed. I had expected there to be lots of vampires inside, but there were only two. Isabel was a Latina vampire, dressed in all white, beautiful, serious, and powerful. Stan was a white man, dressed like a fancy cowboy, and he seemed agitated and bloodthirsty. He immediately put my hackles up because the emotion that came off him when he looked at me was that of thirst and lust.

After the introductions were completed the vampires started squabbling.

“You should have told me Eric hired a fucking human, Isabel,” cowboy Stan yelled at Isabel.

“Now, wait just a minute,” Sookie interjected.

“Respect her,” Bill ordered.

“Thank you,” Sookie told him with glazed appreciation.

Isabel threw her hands up at Stan. “I couldn't tell you, Stan. You've been off on your own for days.”

Eric got them back on track. “Are you certain Godric was abducted by the Fellowship of the Sun?”

“Yes,” Stan growled.

“No,” Isabel said at the same time.

“They're the only ones with the organization and manpower,” Stan reasoned.

“But they're amateurs. It doesn't make any sense. This is Godric we're talking about, 2000 years old.” Isabel was exasperated.

It was amazing to me that Eric’s maker was two thousand years old. It was almost impossible to comprehend.

“Old don't make you smart,” Stan threw in and I felt Eric bristle in the bond.

“Besides, there's no proof,” Isabel added.

“If they've got him, I'll hear it. That's my job,” Sookie explained.

“There's no reason to wait. We need to take these fanatics down. Full-out attack. Exterminate them like the vermin they are, leave no trace.” Stan’s bloodthirsty ways were showing, and he had completely written off the idea that Sookie, a mere human, would be any help.

“Hum, vampire-hating church annihilated. Wonder who did it? Fucking brilliant,” Isabel said sarcastically.

“I doubt the Queen of Texas would approve the destruction of our international political agenda,” Bill added.

“Fuck that. The great revelation is the biggest mistake we ever made.” Stan seemed like he might go rogue.

“Don't use Godric to make your own little power play,” Isabel said.

“You're completely incompetent! What's happened to Godric is that he surrounds himself with clowns.” Eric’s anger had grown even stronger. The fact that they didn’t have any real information considering that their sheriff had been missing for days was astounding.

“We invited you as a courtesy. This is not your territory. You have no voice here,” Isabel told him, offended that she had been called incompetent.

Stan gave Eric a condescending look too. “Yeah, Sheriff. Why don't you run on back down to Louisiana. We don't need you or your puppets.”

“Oh, I'm not going anywhere.” Eric’s anger was so intense, and I tried not to shake from the feeling of it.

“And I'm nobody's puppet,” Sookie added sassily.

Bill turned the focus off of Sookie’s attitude and back to him. “What we need is a plan.”

“I have a plan,” Stan stated, and I knew it was nothing good.

“It's not a plan, it's a movie,” Isabel told us, obviously sick of Stan’s ways.

“It's not a movie, it's a war,” Stan claimed.

“Idiots.” Eric threw in, pulling me closer by my neck, and I tried to send him calm.

Stan continued.“We take them all out at once. Pre-emptive strike.”

“Of course, so the federal government can bomb us back to the Middle Ages,” Isabel sarcastically told him, as he obviously was not thinking through the ramifications

“Things were better then,” Stan claimed.

“Then go to Romania and live in a cave, you ranchero poser!” Isabel yelled back at him.

Trying to send Eric calm wasn’t working anymore, he had released his hold on me and I felt his anger full force through the bond.

“Godric has protected you, made you rich, and you stand here spitting and scratching like infants!” he hissed at them.

Bill was more concerned about Sookie’s safety. “Don't any of you care that there's a traitor in your midst?”

“No.”

“Impossible.”

Sookie put her hands on her hips. “Somebody tried to kidnap me from the airport.”

“You were the only ones that knew she was coming.”

“Explain,” Eric demanded.

Stan and Isabel turned to each other.

“Unless it was you…”

“Unless it was you.”

“Look, if y'all argue any more, I'll either fall asleep or start screaming, so this is what we're gonna do: I will infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun,” Sookie decided.

“Absolutely not,” Bill tried to order her.

“Let her speak,” Eric overruled him.

“Since Bill glamoured the kidnapper, no one there knows who I am. I'll pretend to join the church and check out their thoughts.”

“No. During the day none of us can help you,” Bill explained to her.

“It'll only take a little while. Really, Bill. It's simple.” Sookie tried to persuade him.

“Waste of time, when we could drink them all. I want no part of this.” Stan gave me one last lingering thirsty look and then he left.

Isabel conceded. “There's no easier way to find out if they're involved.”

“If it leads us to Godric, we'll do it. The decision is made.” Eric was completely willing to do anything to find Godric. I saw that now. Bill pulled Eric aside, and I sat on the couch. After just a few moments Sookie joined me.

Isabel came up to us. “So tell me, how goes your human-vampire relationships?”

Sookie chatted with her about how wonderful Bill is, and how her relationship with Bill is strong. I saw Isabel sniff her, and I wondered if she was trying to figure out how much blood of Bill’s she had in her.

She turned to me next.

“Eric and I don’t have a ‘relationship’; I’m his,” I told them. Sookie seemed to preen under the idea that she had a ‘boyfriend’ and I was just Eric’s human. This was one of the main reasons I disliked labels, why was it that we always had to assign value to things? Even things as complicated as relationships?

Isabel looked at me askance. “You’re okay with that?”

I gave her a measured look. “I think it’s foolish to think that humans and vampires can ever really have anything else.”

She looked away and I felt a wave of guilt roll off of her and Sookie looked a bit distubed by my thoughts. Then Eric was back and he indicated that it was time to go. We got back in the town car and the ride to the hotel was silent. But only on the outside. My inside was screaming because the anger rolling off of Eric was palpable. Bill was staring at Sookie and I felt his protectiveness over her; it was stifling. I turned my attention to Sookie instead and I felt her determination and… she was jonesing for something, Bill’s blood? I stopped focusing on them and pulled into myself.

We arrived at the hotel and headed back to our room while Bill and Sookie did the same. Their room was directly adjacent to ours and I knew that wasn’t a coincidence. Eric was likely spying on them. When we got in the room Eric instantly invited me to snuggle on the bed with him and well… we laid there for quite a while. I could tell he was trying to reassure me, knowing that he would have to leave soon. At the same time he tried to suppress his interest in the bond, but I still felt it. I felt his hardness pressing against me which caused me to wriggle against him.

“Eric,” I sighed. “You know that I will want to.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“It’s just...here feels so...” I shook my head. “Everything is tense, I can feel your anger and your worry, just below the surface.”

He brushed my hair off my forehead. “We’ll find Godric, and things won't be so tense,” he promised me and then kissed my forehead.“I am going to feed and then meet with Bill’s maker.” He got up from the bed, and put his jacket on. “You might feel a little off, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.” I didn’t like it but I knew it was necessary.

“Be good,” he said and then he left.

I laid flat on the bed. I already didn’t like this.

*****

Eric’s POV - Monday, July 20th, 2009

I left Jane laying on the bed. I couldn’t take feeling her want and my own thirst for her. Thanks to the incompetence of Godric’s underlings, I was already on edge. I would feed and then see if Lorena would deal with Bill. My walk to the hotel bar let me clear my mind a little while I still felt Jane’s jitters. But I was sure that she would be fine for a bit.

I looked over the menu and asked for an AB negative donor even though it was listed as quite expensive. The waitress apologized to me and explained that the one AB negative donor that they have wasn’t working tonight. I sighed, repressed my frustration, and ordered an O negative. I waited, drumming my fingers impatiently. Well, patience had never really been my strong suit when I was in a tense state of mind.

The donor, a woman, arrived and I perched her on my lap without pretense. I gave her a quick lick and then bit her neck. Her heartbeat thudded steadily, and I could tell she was bored. She did this too much; she wasn’t scared or excited. This was mundane for her. Her blood was boring and common. I missed Jane’s fresh blood already.

“That's it, baby,” the woman said unconvincingly and I had to stop. Could she truly ruin this even more for me?

“‘Baby’? I'm over a thousand years old.”

“Are you not having a good time?” she asked, and I tried not to sneer.

“There's just not much thrill left in feeding on the willing,” I told her, trying to get her heart rate up.

“Then should I try pretending not to want it?” she asked.

I thought about that. Perhaps she was capable. “Only if you are very, very good at it,” I told her in my rumble.

“Get off me. You sick... bloodsucking bastard,” she said half-heartedly. I suddenly sensed Lorena standing behind me and held up a finger for her to wait while I finished with the donor. I wiped my mouth on a napkin and tilted her off my lap.

“Off you go. Tell your manager you were magnificent. I'll back up your story if he calls,” I lied. I hoped her manager called and I could tell them how terrible she was. She left and I turned around to address Lorena.

“I was beginning to think you weren't going to accept my invitation, Lorena.”

“For a vampire, you're a terrible liar,” she replied back at me, and I blinked at her. I’m an excellent liar, but I wouldn’t mind her thinking that I wasn’t. “I’ve already found what room Bill is in. He’s with a human,” she told me.

“I considered booking you in the room adjoining theirs, but I thought that might be a bit... over the top.”

“Why am I here, Mr. Northman?” she asked, trying to play that she wasn’t interested in Bill.

“We want the same thing, you and I.” She gave me a look. “Okay, Bill has something that I want, and he's in the way,” I explained. Sookie was a great asset, and if my human thought it was a ‘nice thing’ to get her out from Bill’s influence, that was only a side benefit.

“His human?” Lorean asked.

“No, she's something more than human.” It was the only explanation for her sweet-scented blood and her telepathic powers.

“What is she?“

“That I do not know, but whatever she is... he loves her,” I told Lorena, hoping to make her jealous.

“What makes you think I want him back? That I'd even take him?” she bluffed.

“Because you didn't come all this way just to see me,” I called her on it and she looked away.

“I haven't seen Bill Compton in over 70 years. Surely you can't think I have any pull over him whatsoever.”

“There were times when I hadn’t seen my maker for much longer than that, and yet I am still loyal to him. Fiercely loyal.” She had more pull than she thought. Even if she had released him.

“Shame I didn't turn you,” she sneered as she gave me an evil smile, and I remembered her savage ways. She tilted her head sardonically. “Then again, you're not really my type.”

I got a spike of nausea from Jane. I’d best wrap this up.

“Let me know how it goes,” I told her, and she gave me a sly smile.

I left and went up to the room to find Jane on the floor of the bathroom looking adorable and pathetic. And slightly gross. Human fluids.

“Go away,” she said, surprising me.

“That won’t make you feel any better,” I told her.

“I’m okay with that.” She turned and looked like she was going to vomit again.

“I thought you liked the bond?”

She shook her head. “Not anymore.”

I scoffed. I lifted her up from the floor. “Up you get.” She collapsed into my arms but she grunted in protest.

“I don’t like feeling like this. You’re always inside of me now… and that piece of you in me… it screams when you’re gone like it’s been ripped away from you,” she slurred as I gently brought her to the bed.

“Our bond is strong, it makes the parting harder,” I tried to explain and she pressed herself into my chest.

“It’s like the blood wants to get back inside of you,” she said.

I laughed. “It will pass, it won’t feel like that forever. I remember when I was first turned I felt that way. The older the vampire is...the stronger that feeling is, and the stronger the vampire they can create as well.”

“Jessica didn’t seem sick,” she murmured.

“Bill isn’t very old, and he didn’t give her as much blood as he should have, had he wanted to make her strong. But that strength comes at a price. He made her weak on purpose so that he would not have a strong bond with her. He had probably hoped that he would be able to stake her before she rose, but the magister had foreseen that and ordered Pam and I to make sure that she did turn.” I paused and thought about the nature of their bond. “I doubt she had much bonding sickness if any. He probably will only feel her strongest emotions,” I explained.

“So your blood is stronger because you’re older?” she asked.

“Yes, and I had to give you a lot of it to heal you, and then again to make sure you didn’t die when I drank too much of you. Also, I had given you smaller doses, and I had already fed on much of your blood. This made our bond extremely strong.”

She thought for a moment. “This is like… the first step.” She looked at me with her knowing blue-green eyes. “To turning.”

I nodded.

She flumped back down. I tried to feel her in the bond but she was numb, tired, and confused.

“You should rest,” I told her.

“You should too, it’s almost dawn,” she replied, her eyes closed.

“Very well.” I stripped down to my boxer briefs and climbed into the bed next to her. She stripped her clothes and rubbed her skin against mine and our bond rejoiced again.

“So much,” she mumbled. “It’s going to hurt so much.”

I didn’t know what she meant.

Chapter Text

Chap 20

Godric’s POV - Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

When I woke, I could tell that there were humans held captive in the room next to mine.

“Godric. Godric, can you hear me? Isabel and Eric sent us. Godric! I know he's down here somewhere. I heard the awful things they're plannin' to do to him,'' a woman’s voice called.

Damn Eric. And Isabel. I should have known. There was nothing I could do. I was silvered in. I sat and listened. There was a man as well, and he was panicking.

“Remember how I said I was claustrophobic? I wasn't makin' that part up. It's bad. Okay, I can't take elevators, walk-in closets. You know, hotels where they tuck the sheets in all tight? Just thinkin' about that makes me want to scream.” I recognized him as Isabel’s human. Hugo. Sniveling man.

I heard them digging around, perhaps looking for a way out?

“Jesus Christ, Vampire Exterminator? Silver and Stakes? Send'Em Back to Hell? So sick teachin' kids to hate like this,'' the woman said. She must have found some of the paraphernalia that the Reverend was developing. It was quite methodical to have the children play such games, to raise them to fear and hate us.

“Sookie, I don't have time for games right now. I need to get out of here,” Isabel’s man replied, and I learned that the woman is named Sookie. An interesting name, though it seemed like it would be better suited for a dog. Then again, I didn’t understand humans and their strange logic.

“Take a deep breath. Look at me. It's gonna be okay. We're gonna figure this out, all right?” Sookie tried to calm Hugo.

“Okay, I'm okay,” he responded.

“So the Newlin’s knew who we were the minute we walked in. The same way they knew to come after me at the airport. 'Cause someone at the nest is a traitor,” the woman said, and I found that to be the most alarming. A traitor in my nest? Stan was the most likely culprit. After what happened with his progeny.

“You think a vampire's siding with the Fellowship to get Godric out of the way?” the man suggested.

“Stan? 'Cause he wants to be sheriff? I've heard of ambitious, but that's just plain crazy,” Sookie guessed.

I found myself wondering why I had even kept Stan around. I chose my advisors very carefully. Isabel was as mainstream as they came and preferred the company of humans. Stan was nearly rabid, but he had been better able to predict the reactions and motives of the vampires of Dallas, whereas I could barely understand their behavior. Especially now, after the Great Revelation. I thought having them both advise me would allow me to stay moderate. I should have known better.

“You've met him. I mean, he would rip our throats out for lookin' at him sideways,” Isabel’s man said, and his poor opinion of Stan was not surprising.

“It's true, Bill and Eric could do a lot worse to him when they find out. Bill had to have sensed my fear. He's gonna come storming through this church any second.” Sookie, she had a vampire’s blood in her. They would come for her.

“And you don't seem happy about that because?” Isabel’s man asked.

“These fanatics are about to barbecue a 2000-year-old vampire in front of the entire congregation. Who knows what else they're capable of?”

She had a point.

They continued to chat. I had never intended for humans to get mixed up in my death wish. And now there wasn’t anything that I could do.

****

Eric’s POV- Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

When I woke from my day rest I could feel Jane was nude and snuggled against me. As soon as I reached out to test my bond to her, I was slammed by a blast of lust coming from her.

“Fuck,” I said, feeling all the blood in my body rush to my cock.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m so…” she trailed off; she didn’t have to tell me.

“Let me help you, lover.”

“Please,” she begged. “I was dreaming of you, and I woke up like this.”

Our bond was deep, and I had given her so much of my blood; it amplified her lust even stronger.

I crawled down her body to find a river of wetness between her legs. She was like a fountain. I devoured her, and she was moaning. I felt her through the bond as if it was my own pleasure. So fucking good, she felt everything.

“Bite me,” she cried out. “Please!”

I couldn’t. I didn’t have the control. If I bit Jane… I would feed, and if I fed on her again… I didn’t know if I could stop.

“I can’t,” I told her.

She whimpered in pain. She needed more, she was hovering on the edge, and she couldn’t come. I would give her what I could, even if I couldn’t give her the bite that she craved.

“More, please…” she moaned, and I knew what she needed.

I moved my fingers to her and lightly penetrated her. She squirmed and whimpered, and I moved and curled them upwards.

“More, Eric…” she continued to beg, and I added a third finger. Gods, she was so small, and I was stretching her. She was moaning a pure sound that made me nearly lose all my self-control.

She was going to come - I was going to make this magnificent goddess come all over me. I felt her climax rising, and Jane began to crest. I tongued her clit, and she squirted all over my face. My Jane literally drenched me, and that wrung an orgasm from me through the bond as well. It was magnificent! I crawled back over her and rested my head against her sweaty silken breasts, and listened to her heartbeat return to normal.

“I thought you said that blood doesn’t make me feel that way?” she asked breathlessly.

I shook my head. “It doesn't. It only heightens what’s there, and in your case, I would say it heightened it to the extremes.”

She laughed her little bell sound. I felt her arousal lingering… she probably could use another climax.

But right that moment, my phone rang, and I reached over and grabbed it. It was Isabel.

“I sent Hugo, my human, in with the telepath last night, and they haven’t returned,” she told me as soon as I answered.

“He has had your blood?” I asked her, knowing it was a very personal question.

“Yes,” she reported.

“Then we follow it.”

“I’ll get you in half an hour.” She hung up.

I looked over at Jane. “We have to get up. Isabel is coming to get us.”

“Why?”

“She sent her human into the Fellowship of the Sun with Sookie. He hasn’t come back.”

She gulped and started to get dressed, but I stopped her. “No, Jane, we need to shower and wash unless you would like Isabel to know exactly what we were doing this morning?”

The blush that rose to her cheeks made me want to bite her and claim her all over again, and I couldn’t restrain my soft growl. I gently pulled her into the shower, and we washed quickly with the scent erasing soap. I wish I had time to make her come again. I felt her need rising again, so I got her out of the shower and dressed as fast as humanly possible.

She styled herself well, and I liked how she knew that how she presented herself was a reflection on me. She looked lovely, fresh, and young. She was unique and stunning, and I felt a swell of pride that she was mine.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she said as she put a little cardigan on.

“Like what?” I ask her.

“Like you want to bite me and bind me to your bed,” she said with a smirk.

“If the shoe fits…” I trailed off with a smirk, and she smacked me playfully on the chest. I put an arm protectively over her shoulder as we walked to the lobby. The vampires we saw in the halls and the lobby looked at her with interest, and I felt the irrational need to drop fang and threaten them. But that would only cast a bad light on me. After all, I was centuries older than them, and being their elder, I had to keep my feelings under control. Godric would expect nothing less from me. Therefore, I suppressed that feeling.

We just had to wait for half a minute until Isabel pulled up in her SUV in front of the hotel. She saw that I had Jane with me but said nothing about it. I wondered if she could tell we were blood bonded. I was sure the scent of my blood in her was quite strong to others. She drove us out to a ridge where we parked and exited the car. We walked over until we could see down onto the Fellowship of the Sun’s Megachurch, and I let my eyes wander attentively over the area..

I saw a few piddly humans, not a trained army.

“You have got to be joking me. This is the Fellowship of the Sun? That's their army? Scared little boys with bibles and crossbows,” I said derisively to Isabel, and Jane looked on in interest.

“Don't underestimate them. Support for their movement is growing. Their leadership camps are overflowing with self-righteous extremists, all willing and ready to die for their cause,” Isabel stated.

“That can be arranged quite easily,” I said darkly, and I felt Jane poke me in the bond.

“Not until we know for sure that the Fellowship has Godric,” Isabel tempered me, and she was right. No need to go in if he’s not even there. However, we may have to if they wouldn’t release Sookie and Isabel’s human.

“What about your boy Hugo, and Sookie? They've been in there too long,” I reminded her.

“There's no sign of alarm. And if Hugo were in serious danger, I would know it. I felt something earlier, but it passed. He's okay now,” she said, rather blase about the fact that her human was captured.

“Tell me, what is it that you find so fulfilling about his companionship?” I asked her, trying to get a better feel for her.

“Humans...They feel much more strongly than we do. Everything is urgent, exciting. Maybe because their lives are so temporary,” she said, and I saw her eyes slide to Jane. She wanted to see if this comment would upset her. It didn’t. Jane was far too self-aware to let something like that bother her.

“Yes, they certainly don't keep well,” I said, looking at Jane pointedly, and she huffed in the bond. “Don't you find the prospect of him growing old, sickly, crippled, somewhat repulsive?” I asked her, thinking of how gross Jane’s recent vomiting has been.

“No. I find it curious. Like a science project.” Isabel looked curiously at Jane, surprised by her lack of reaction. I guess what we said was a bit offensive. I felt in the bond, but Jane felt normal. She was odd, and I liked that she was unbothered by this conversation. “How does Bill Compton feel about your interest in Sookie?” Isabel asked me, and I wondered how she had figured that out.

“I'm not interested in Sookie. And even less in how Bill Compton feels. My only interest is finding Godric,” I told her sharply, my frustration rising. Was he in there? How could these incompetent little ants have taken him?

“Of course,” Isabel said as if she didn’t believe me.

“Don't look at me like that. Do you really believe these fools could overpower a vampire such as Godric and hold him?”

“Stan is sure of it. But I have known Godric for a long time. It's hard to imagine anything could overpower him,” Isabel stated. She thought she knew Godric for a long time? I have known him for a millennium.

“Not anything human,” I replied, thinking of the times we had been in battle. Never against humans.

We stood there for a while, watching the little humans; it looked as if they were expecting us.

“We should go,” Isabel said, and I wondered what she was thinking—leaving her human in there.

While we got back in the SUV, Stan called Isabel, and she agreed to meet him in the hotel. Jane seemed complacent, but when she heard that Stan was coming she sat up straighter, and I felt a trickle of concern from her in the bond. That was wise; he was demented. I still thought that he was the most likely culprit behind Godric’s disappearance.

I gave her a questioning look, and she shrugged me off. She was fine. If Isabel noticed our interaction she didn’t say anything. We returned to the hotel and met up with Stan in the hallway. Of course, he was ready for war. Isabel explained that Hugo and presumably Sookie were still in the Fellowship of the Sun.

“Maybe the little rats run off. Joined the Fellowship themselves,” Stan accused as we walked down the hallway. He was looking for any excuse to invade.

“Careful. Hugo is mine,” Isabel threatened.

Stan scoffed. “Oh, please. If you cared about him so much, we'd have been in that church hours ago.” Stan had a point; if they had Jane, I would be planning an immediate raid.

“With no plan, no exit strategy. That's why you'll never be sheriff, Stan. You don't think!” Isabel threw her hands up in frustration.

“And you're too chicken shit to act. That's why we've been gettin' Godric's coffee for the last 40 years,” he snapped at her. He turned to me. “And you, Fellowship has your maker and your telepath, and still you do nothin'.”

I grabbed him by his shirt and held him against the wall. “Are you questioning my loyalty, Stan?” No one questioned my loyalty to Godric. No one.

“Just trying to return Godric to his rightful position,” Stan said, but I didn’t believe him for a second.

“Really?” I pushed myself into Stan’s personal space. “Cause I think maybe you have another agenda. Maybe you think starting a war with the Fellowship will distract us from the truth... that you're so starved for power, you murdered Godric for his title.”

“That is a lie. How dare you accuse me?” Stan’s face was next to mine, and I wanted to rip his throat out.

“Eric. We don't know this. There's no proof.” Isabel put a hand on my chest, pushing me away from Stan, attempting to calm me.

“Not yet. But I will find it. And when I do, there will be no mercy,” I threatened him, But Isabel was right, and I had to release him. I turned to Isabel.

“In the meantime, you two can stand here and quibble over his position or run into that church and kill them all. I no longer care.” I turned away and back toward the door of our room. “If Godric is gone, nothing will bring back what I have lost.” A blood tear threatened to spill down my face. I suppressed it and looked back over my shoulder.

I saw Stan staring at my human. She quaked with a little fear, and I grabbed her by the neck and dragged her away. She should be offended. I was essentially manhandling her down the hallway, but she was just happy to feel my touch against her. At the same time, I felt her quivering under my rage and sorrow, and I realized that I was blasting all my unfiltered emotions through our bond.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” I growled at her.

She nodded shakily. “I know that.”

I let go of her neck and put my arm around her, guiding her back to our suite. When we were in the living space, I heard that Lorena was with Bill in the suite next door, literally holding him captive there. That was fine - at least Bill wouldn’t be interfering and causing problems. We went into the bedroom, and Jane sat at the end of the bed and watched me pace.

I decided I was going to go into that church tomorrow and do recon myself. If Godric was at the church I would kill every last one of them to get him out. I didn’t care if it started an all-out human-vampire war. Stan would be pleased as that seemed to be what he wanted.

“Eric?” Jane interrupted my pacing. I turned and looked at her. “What will you do if Godric’s not there or we can’t find him or… they’ve killed him?”

“He’s not dead. I would feel it,” I told her. “He still has a maker’s bond with me. He’s closed everything off except for its presence.” It was just like him not to give me any information to find him.

She nodded, but I wasn’t sure if she really understood.

“Well, if we can’t find him then?”

I couldn’t answer her in words. I merely sent her my despair. There was nothing that I could imagine that would be worse than losing Godric. It was as if someone had suggested that the moon could be pulled from the sky, or as if the oceans could be emptied. That the world would simply turn to dust. It was unfathomable. Godric was eternal; he was the very definition of forever to me. An existence without him… it would be torturous.

I felt the blood tears slide coolly down my face and watched as fat salty tears poured down hers. Jane clawed at her heart and sobbed.

“Stop,” she cried, her voice a raw tone that I could barely stand to hear. The pain in it echoed the same sorrow in my heart. “I can’t take it,” she sobbed, and I knew I was hurting her. She felt me so deeply, my pain was her pain. I tried to stop, I was worried she would hurt herself, the way she dug her fingers toward her heart, trying to physically pull the pain from her body. I laid down next to her, and I held her tightly in an effort to comfort her, but that seemed to make the emotions more intense for her. At least she wasn’t trying to rip her own heart from her chest anymore.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her softly, and it was true. I rarely apologized to anyone, but I did not want my pain to hurt her.

“This is what you meant,” she gasped between sobs. “That it was a double edge sword.”

I tried to breathe and calm myself. I didn’t need breath, but it helped, and Jane matched me. We began to soothe each other this way.

“I will go tomorrow,” I promised her. “I will see if he’s in there.”

She nodded and sniffed quite a bit. “I’ll come with.”

“No,” I forbid her. “I will likely have to kill humans, and I cannot have you there, slowing me down.”

She looked at me darkly with watery eyes, and I couldn't tell if she was upset that she wasn't allowed to come or if she was upset that I would kill humans.

“Jane… it’s too dangerous,” I explained. She turned away. I let her sulk for a few minutes but then pulled her back to my chest. Her exhaustion went through our bond, but she didn’t say anything else and just closed her eyes. I felt something like determination come from her, and I knew it didn’t bode well for tomorrow. The rest of the time before dawn I spent holding her tightly.

Impossible woman.

****

Jane’s POV - Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 [READ THE TAGS, Rape/Non-Con has been tagged in this story from it's start]

I woke up early in the morning, and I knew what I had to do. I had to find Godric. The all-consuming despair I felt yesterday… I could never feel that again. I never wanted Eric to feel that kind of pain. I wasn’t sure he could survive it - I wasn’t sure I could survive it. I thought we were both dying. If something happened to Godric, I wasn’t sure what Eric would do. It was a terrifying thought, and I had to take some kind of action.

I showered using the green soap and dressed sweetly after curling my hair. Wearing a nice button-up floral dress with a little pink cardigan and my faux pearls, I would certainly not attract attention. I found that there was a bus that would get me pretty close to the Fellowship of the Sun’s Megachurch and I took it out there. The farther I got from Eric the more anxious I felt. But I was determined to do this. I just hoped that when he woke that I wouldn’t start to feel worse, our bond hadn’t settled yet. I thought of my plan on the bus ride over. I was going to blend in and then explore. I would find out if Godric was there and then find a way to get him out.

As it turned out, slipping into the church was the easy part. My smile and pearls made me blend in easily, like wearing camouflage in the woods. After I listened to some excited chatter, I was able to determine that there was going to be some sort of event in the evening time. There were lots of people all over, completing in various tasks and trying to get things set up for the incoming flux of parishioners. This helped me blend in even more. I lurked in a crowd of gossipy women and learned that there was going to be a lock-in: sleeping bags and bible verses, and a special event at dawn. I ended up in the kitchen with some of the women, and I got trapped making pitchers of ice tea for a bit, but no one seemed to care at all about who I was. Eventually, I was able to slip out.

Where would they be able to keep a two-thousand-year-old vampire? It would have to be somewhere dark. A basement? I started opening doors on my way around and found some steps that led down. I was just about to go down when a voice startled me.

“Hey!” a large man with a cropped military haircut yelled at me. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Sorry,” I said sweetly. “I’m a little lost.”

His eyes trailed over my body in a way that made me extremely uncomfortable, and even if I couldn't feel his emotions, it was easy to see what his intentions were. His expression reminded me all too well of Stan’s. “Is that right, sweetheart? Whatcha lookin’ for?” he asked, licking his lips.

“I was supposed to find some extra blankets and things for people if they need them for the lock-in tonight. I was looking for a closet?” I improvised wildly.

“Oh, I know where those are, follow me darlin’,” he said, and I was stuck following him. I may as well pump him for information.

“So, I hear there’s supposed to be something special happening at dawn?” I asked, trying to be flirtatious.

“Oh yeah.” His eyes lingered on my chest inappropriately. “I’m instrumental in making it happen too,” he said self importantly.

“Really?” I asked, trying to make myself look at him with interest. “Will you tell me what’s happening, or are you going to make me beg?” I batted my eyes at him.

The greedy, lusty look in his eyes grew. He glanced around to make sure we were not being listened to, and then he leaned in. “We’ve got a fanger in the basement. We’re going to roast ‘im in the sun,” he whispered darkly.

I made a sound of disbelief at him, but I wasn’t actually surprised. These religious nuts seemed capable of some truly terrible things. It had to be Godric, Eric’s maker.

“No really, what’s going to happen?” I continued my mock disbelief as we walked along. He stopped.

“It’s true,” he claimed, and I saw my reverse psychology was working.

“Okay,” I drew out the word like I didn’t believe him and had lost interest in him.

“I’ll prove it to you, girlie,” he said to me, affronted.

He turned me around and led me back to the stairs. We went down them and then turned left down a hallway. He got a key ring from his pocket. I saw lots of keys and quickly identified what they went to, doors mostly, a couple that were for vehicles and one small silver key that went to a lock.

When we entered the room I nearly died of shock. There, in a barred cage was my first vampire. His grey eyes widened and turned to molten silver as he took me in. He was standing with his hands behind his back, his left hand holding his right wrist, and when he saw me he released his hands, and his jaw dropped slightly.

“You?” he asked in awe-struck wonder, completely blowing my cover.

The large man had me by the throat in seconds and made it nearly impossible for me to breathe in much-needed oxygen after my shock. “I knew you were too hot. You’re a fuckin’ fang banger! Aren’t you? Here to get your vamp?” He shook me roughly, bruising me.

“No!” I tried to lie.

“Don’t fuckin’ try me you filthy little fang whore. He already gave you away.” He pushed me to the ground. The impact hurt, and I trembled in fear, scrabbling to get away from him. I knew what he was feeling. Power, anger, he wanted to hurt me. He wanted to prove that he was better.

“Gabe!” my vampire growled. “I don’t know this human. Leave her be.”

“Too late, Godric. You already gave her away. Don’t worry... I’ll take real good care of her,” he said nastily, grabbed me off the floor, and then dragged me out of the room. But he didn’t take me far, just to the next room. The small remaining part of my brain, which wasn’t frozen with fear and still capable of halfway logical thinking, noticed that it was filled with weapons. They really were trying to make an army here.

“You know what happens to fang bangers here?” he asked, holding me by the shoulders tightly.

I shook my head, too scared to answer.

“I show ‘em what they’re missin’,” he growled.

“Please. Don’t do this!” I begged. And then I felt his enjoyment at my pleas. It was sickening.

“Scream all you want. No one will hear you down here,” Gabe snarled as he ripped my dress open. The buttons popped off and flew everywhere, and he pushed me so that I was lying flat on my back on a table. I struggled in his grasp, but he was bigger and stronger and held my arms so that I couldn’t even hit him.

“Stop! Please!” I cried, I felt my tears hot on my face, and he grinned. He pushed my bra down, and my breasts popped out.

“Now if those aren’t some perfect tiddies,” he growled with nauseating lust in the voice. He slapped my breasts and groped them bruisingly with the hand he wasn’t using to hold me down.

“No!” I yelled at him in pain and shame.

“That’s right, scream little girl.” I gagged. I felt his enjoyment, his righteous power over me.

He tore my panties off and then undid his belt. His pants fell and I knew then that he was going to rape me. There was nothing I could do. I continued to scream and struggle against him, but he was too large, and I was too small. Without effort he picked me up for a second and turned me over on my stomach while pushing himself inside of me and he groaned at the feeling, and I howled and sobbed in pain. He was tearing me, it felt as if I was being ripped open. It reminded me of my first time, not as painful, that time I had felt as if I was going to be rendered in two. But there was the same overwhelming horror, and the sickening pleasure I felt from him.

“Cry for me, you filthy little cunt,” he laughed as he thrust inside of me. It felt as painful as the thrust of a knife. “Cry like you do for that vampire cock.”

I once more tried to fight him, but he twisted my arms painfully around my back, and my left shoulder made a terrible cracking sound which caused me to scream. Had he dislocated my shoulder? For a fraction of a second, the pain threatened to rob me of consciousness, but this escape from reality was apparently not granted to me. Time didn’t matter. He just kept going, and I lost all strength. I was only quietly sobbing and pleading now. I wished that he would be quick, but he took his time and said all kinds of depraved things to me. I tried to pull into myself, to isolate my feelings, but that made it worse because all I could feel was him and his emotions, so I held onto the pain. I held onto the powerlessness I felt. I held onto the shame and every single second of misery he inflicted on me because if I let it go, I would feel his pleasure, his perverse power, and enjoyment in hurting me.

Eventually, it ended, and he finished inside of me. I felt like I was worthless and disgusting.

Used.

He stood, and I slid off the table to the floor. My battered body was unable to hold itself up. Then I saw it. The ring with the keys had fallen out of his pocket and onto the floor.

The door burst open, and the vampire-hating Reverend came in.

“Gabe, what’s this?” the Reverend asked, gesturing to me on the floor.

“Another fang banger trying to infiltrate,” he said, pulling up his pants.

“Really? Well, I’ll be. Let’s not put her in with the others. No collusion,” the Reverend said, and he wagged his finger at me like I was a bad puppy. I thought maybe a reverend would have a problem with what had been done to me in his church, but I guess it didn't matter if it was a 'fang banger'.

“Where do you want her?” the man that violated me asked. When he turned to face the reverend and was distracted I subtly took the small silver key off the ring and then placed the other keys on the ground behind me. I clenched it tightly in my right palm. My left was essentially useless.

“Lock her in the room with the vampire,” the Reverend ordered. “We’ll interrogate her after the others.”

I was brutally hauled to my feet, and he then noticed the keys behind me and snatched them up. I tightened my grip on the silver key, praying to the universe that he didn’t notice that it was missing. He pushed me out of the room, grinning with satisfaction. He unlocked the room with my silver-eyed vampire inside, threw me in, and then locked the door behind me.

As my eyes filled with tears again due to the pain from my unrestrained impact, I looked up and saw my vampire’s expression.

It looked absolutely lethal.

Chapter Text

Chap 21

Eric’s POV -Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

I woke during the day to excruciating pain. Sitting up, I felt the bed next to me, but my hand only patted the hollow, empty space where I expected to feel Jane’s warm body. I opened my eyes and took in her absence, feeling out to my bond with her. It was her pain. Through the bond, I could tell that she was a good distance away, several miles at least. That insane, unpredictable riddle of a woman! She had gone to the church! During the day when I would be unable to help her! I laid back down, growling with frustration, knowing there was nothing I could do except wait for darkness to fall.

Gods. Her pain. It felt like they were torturing her. The shame and disgust that welled up in her were frightening as well. What was happening? Why would she do this? Her powerlessness suddenly came through the bond - she couldn’t fight back, whatever was happening to her. She was hurting so deeply.

Eventually, the pain lessened, but her disgust remained. The feeling of self-loathing was surprising to me. She must feel that way because she went there herself? I tried to close my eyes and rest, knowing that if I was awake, she would likely start to feel the bonding sickness as well. I closed my eyes but I had to send her something before I let the sun push me under. I pushed all of my care to her down the bond. I hoped she felt it like a promise. I would come for her. As soon as it was nighttime, I would come.

The feeling that rolled back was of illness and worthlessness. It was almost as if Jane said, ‘Don’t bother, I’m not worth it.’ She infuriated me! I have claimed her, and then I failed her time and time again. I decided not to try to send her anything else. I couldn’t temper my aggravation with her anyway. I closed my eyes and forced myself to rest by clearing my mind of all thoughts. I would not get the bleeds and be weak. I would be strong for her, and I would be strong to find my maker.

****

I woke before first dark, unable to truly rest well, and dressed quickly. A short time later, I heard Bill and Lorena arguing next door when a bellboy came and informed them of Sookie’s location. As if Bill didn’t already know... I breezed past the bellboy. I would fly to the church, finding Jane through the bond.

The night air was cool, and I felt out for Jane. She was calm if not slightly... drugged? She seemed a bit out of it, a woozy, drunk feeling. It was easy to infiltrate the camp. I only had to knock out two of them. Their screams were slightly louder than I had hoped. It was pathetic, the ease with which I was able to enter their supposed stronghold. I found it very unlikely that Godric would be here.

I started toward a door, and then I was shocked to hear my maker’s voice call out.

“We are here, my childe. Down here.”

How? How could he have been held here? It was preposterous.

I followed his voice down a set of stairs and into a basement. When I entered, I saw Jane, leaning against the wall, unsteady and glazed, smelling strongly of Godric’s sage scent, her clothes essentially shredded. There was a dead man on the floor near Godric’s feet with his neck snapped. There was another man, Isabel’s, I presumed by his scent, unconscious on the ground. Sookie was cowering in the corner.

There, standing above the dead man, was Godric. He looked pale and starving but nevertheless like a magnificent vengeful god.

“Godric,” I was stunned to see him. How was he here? How had they captured him? I knelt before him. My love and loyalty to him were absolute.

“You were a fool sending humans after me,” he said, and I feared that he would open the bond and I would be subjected to his rage and disappointment. It was bad enough to hear him say it.

“I had no other choice,” I tried to explain. “These savages, they—” I paused to look up at him. “They seek to destroy you.”

He looked down at me, still disappointed. “I’m aware of what they had planned.” He looked toward Jane and a smile ghosted his face and then he turned to Isabel’s unconscious man. “This one betrayed you.”

“He’s with the Fellowship,” Sookie interjected, wrapping her arms around herself. “They set a trap for us.”

I looked at Godric’s paleness, and I saw blood lust simmering just beneath the surface.

“How long since you’ve fed?” I asked him.

He looked at me and then at Jane. “I require very little blood anymore,” he said, and he looked like he hadn’t fed in weeks, perhaps even longer than he was imprisoned here for.

Alarms started to blare and lights started to flash around us. I guessed that the humans I had knocked out were found.

Jane fell to the floor, and I sensed her strange inexplicable drunkenness. Godric went to her and pulled her into his arms, and I then realized. He had fed her his blood. She had been injured so grievously that he fed her his powerful ancient blood to save her, to save my human.

I had dishonored her severely.

“Save the other human,” Godric ordered me. “I will take Jane out when I am certain she can be quiet.”

Jane giggled inappropriately. Godric’s blood was powerful, and she was obviously strongly intoxicated by it.

“Go on,” he ordered.

“I am not leaving until you are—” I tried to argue with him.

“I can take care of myself and Jane.”

Jane giggled again as if this was hilarious.

“Come on, we have to go!” Sookie said to me urgently, obviously wanting to get out quickly.

“Spill no blood on your way out,” Godric commanded me. “Go.”

I ushered Sookie out and gave Jane and Godric one last lingering look over my shoulder before I followed Sookie up the stairs. He would get Jane to safety. Sookie let me pass her and I looked out into the hallway. There were men, armed with stakes, having the parishioners exit the church. How to get out without spilling blood?

“I could have you out in seconds,” I told her, wishing that I could ignore Godric’s command.

“There’s kids out there!” Sookie protested.

“Now, those humans wouldn’t think twice about hurting us,” I told her. An eye for an eye.

“Why didn’t you bring Bill with you?” she asked, and I had wondered how long it would be before she asked about him.

“His attachment to you is irrational. It clouds his judgment. He would kill every child in this church to save you.” I hoped to impress upon her how deep his obsession with her goes.

“Why aren’t you?” she asked me sassily. She was irritating, wasn’t she?

“I’m following Godric’s orders and getting you out, that’s all,” I told her. She was a useful asset. I hope she saw that as well.

“He’s your maker, isn’t he?” she guessed or perhaps had picked it up from Jane’s mind. But she had no idea what that meant. She couldn’t even comprehend the level of the bond.

“Don’t use words you don’t understand,” I told her.

“You have a lot of love for him,” she stated. Love. The word was too flimsy coming from her human mouth. It didn’t even begin to describe my bond with Godric. Human love was incomprehensible to me. Humans fell in and out of love, they married and divorced, their love was fleeting and it withered and changed like the seasons. My bond with my maker was absolute, unwavering, and eternal.

“Don’t use words that I don’t understand,” I said in response, unable to explain to her. Words could not do it justice and now was not the time, even if I was so inclined to try to share the complexities of my relationship with Godric to this telepath.

I looked out, making a note of our current situation. The civilians had all exited. It was just three measly human men. If only Godric had said kill no humans, then I could have simply knocked them out. It would have split their blood, but they would have been fine. Bloody pacifist. Especially in regards to humans. Well, most humans.

I would have to use a combination of acting and glamour. It should work. I moved to go out but Sookie tried to stop me.

“Eric, no!” she exclaimed, and I wondered if she was worried about me. Interesting. I moved in closer to herand her heartbeat ratcheted higher. So Sookie was attracted to me. That could be useful.

“Trust me,” I rumbled in her ear, and her heart pattered even harder. It was almost too easy.

I went out and stooped my head lower, trying to appear less intimidating.

“Oh, hey, y’all,” I said, adopting a thick Texan accent. “How’s it going? Steve sent me over to man the exit here.” I smiled at them convincingly. “Think I can take it from here.” Sometimes just supreme confidence is all it took to persuade weak minds.

Not the case with this group, however. They were too eager to fight vampires. How quickly they would die in a real battle.

“By yourself? You’re big and all, but there’s a vampire on the loose,” one of the men told me. I suppressed my eye roll.

“Oh,” I said, pretending to be surprised.

“Where’s your stake?” A different man asked, and I knew this jig would be up soon.

“Dang,” I said. “I forgot.” The first man moved behind me and I knew he was suspicious. I turned to the third man. “Maybe I can borrow yours if that’s okay?” I couldn’t glamour them all, but I could at least disarm one of them.

“I can’t do that,” he replied. “Get your own.”

I glamoured him. “I’d very much like to borrow your stake.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’d be okay. I guess,” he agreed as the glamour worked. When he handed it over, I already sensed the movement of the first man behind me.

“Stake!” Sookie yelled, and it was nice to know that at the very least she didn’t want me killed. I disarmed and pushed two of the men away, hoping that they wouldn’t bleed, I would hate to accidentally have defied Godric’s orders. The last one I trapped against the wall, my hand to his chin and tilting his stake to use against him.

“Eric! You don’t have to kill him!” Sookie exclaimed, running out from where we were hiding.

I wrested the stake from his hand with a growl, threw it to the floor then released him. I wasn’t going to kill him. Sookie didn’t trust me to follow my own maker’s commands? She knew nothing.

“Come on,” I told her. But when I opened the front doors I saw a crowd of armed humans marching toward us.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Those arrows are wood. You’ll never make it through,” the human I let live told us.

“Eric, through the sanctuary,” Sookie urged and she led me to a different room. It was filled with long pews and large windows, the area in which they worshiped the dead god. I stalked to the front.

“Where’s the exit?” I asked her, not sure which of the doors would lead out.

“Back that way.” She pointed.

“There are several exits, actually. For you, the easiest one takes you straight to hell,” a voice called out, and the Reverend sauntered through the door, dressed in an all white suit. What an absolute tool.

Crowds of humans entered from all sides carrying various weapons. We were surrounded.

“Let us leave!” Sookie demanded “Save yourselves! No one has to die!” She feared I would kill them all. She did not understand. If Godric said shed no blood, then that is what I would do.

“The war has begun, you evil whore of Satan. The vampires cast the first stone by killing my family. The lines have been drawn. You’re either with us or against us,” the Reverend ranted, his dogma unwavering. “We are prepared for Armageddon.”

“The vampire you’re holding prisoner got away,” Sookie claimed, and I hope that it was true. I felt out, no they hadn’t left yet. Jane was still too close for that to be true. “He’s a sheriff, he’s bound to send for help.”

“I’m not concerned with Godric,” the Reverend said, and it raised my hackles to hear the hateful Reverend speak my maker’s name. “Any vampire will do for our grand celebration, and we got one right here,” he drawled as he pointed at me.

I spent a moment calculating what I could do. I would offer myself, in exchange for their release. That way I would fulfill Godric’s command. I would not fail him. Sookie looked at me with a mixture of fear and apprehension. Was she worried I would kill them all still or was she worried about my safety? I guessed it was my safety by the way her eyes lingered on my face.

“I will be fine,” I told her, not sure if it was a lie.

I went before the Reverend, my head bowed.

“Brothers and Sisters, there will be a holy bonfire at dawn,” he laughed, and I was reminded of something Godric had once told me. That evil takes many forms, but none are quite as seductive as that of righteousness.

They silvered me on the altar, and I allowed them to. It burned across my neck and my arms, wrists, and my ankles as well. It sizzled my flesh and caused my fangs to drop of their own accord, ready to fight the feeling of pain. Immediately I felt Jane’s alarm and tried to send her calm.

“You see?” Newlin exclaimed. “Just as our Lord and Savior was betrayed for thirty pieces of silver, a few ounces of silver can betray a child of Satan.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Sookie shouted as she struggled in the arms of two men that held her. I needed to fulfill Godric’s orders to get her out. “How can you people listen to him?”

“I offer myself in exchange for Godric’s freedom. And both of the girls as well,” I hissed to him.

“That’s noble.” Newlin nodded at me. “But the women are just as culpable as you are. Traitors to their race. The human race. They do not deserve mercy. Maybe we will tie this one to you so you can meet the sun together,” he suggested and I feared that I would fail Godric. “Bet this marshmallow would roast up nicely.”

I heard loud crashing sounds and some screams.

“Sookie!” called the voice of Bill Compton. Of course Bill would appear now, when it would certainly only make the situation worse. Although perhaps he would be able to get Sookie out and I would have done what Godric has asked.

“One more step, vampire, and the girl dies,” Newlin threatened and I saw that he had a gun pointed at Sookie’s head.

“If you shoot her, everyone here will die,” Bill promised, and I saw how deep his rabidness went. How much carnage he would wreak for her in the name of his twisted love. “Let her go now!”

Newlin sighed loudly. “Honestly, what do they see in you?” he asked Sookie rhetorically. “Soldiers, some silver chains for our friend here.”

“Don’t!” Sookie screamed. “He’s done nothing to you!”

“Sookie, I will be fine,” Bill tried to appease and I knew that he was going to attempt to negotiate for her release as well.

Suddenly I heard another voice cry out. “NEWLIN!” and the sound of a shot, but not a normal gunshot. It appeared as if the Reverend was shot by something in the hand, he dropped the gun he was holding on Sookie.

“Let her go, fuckwad!” a man's voice cried out, and I was able to tilt my head to look to see who fired the shot. I recognized Jason Stackhouse, the handsome AB negative brother of Sookie, and user of vampire blood.

He shot at the Reverend again and I saw a green splatter hit Newlin in the forehead. It was a paintball gun.

“Son of a bitch!” Newlin said, holding his hand to his head. Apparently, those hurt humans more than I imagined they would.

Sookie ran up and pulled the silver off of me. “Let’s go,” she urged.

I grabbed the dishonorable Reverend Newlin by the throat and held him to the steps.

“Do not kill him!” Sookie screamed at me.

“Kill him! Kill the mother fucker!” her brother shouted instead. He was clearly bloodthirsty, and I liked him a little more.

I was tempted. I was bloodlusted from the silver. But I would never defy Godric’s order.

“Go ahead,” Newlin goaded me. “Murder us. Murder us before God. We are willing to die.”

Before I had anything to decide a loud rumbling sound came from beyond the doors. Stan entered dramatically through the church door with what appeared to be many of the area's vampires. He had his army, and he was ready for war.

“Steve Newlin. You have pushed us too far,” Stan announced as he entered. “You expect us to sit on our thumbs while you round up your men to come lynch us? We’ll kill you first. Same way we did your father.”

“Oh, God. No,” I heard Sookie whisper, and I knew that this was going to turn into a bloodbath very quickly.

“Murderer!” Newlin screamed, my hand still around his throat. I tightened my grip slightly and he choked.

“Destroy them,” Stan ordered. “All of them.” The vampires flooded in, all of them snatched up humans, we were seconds away from full-on slaughter.

“Eric, stop them!” Sookie shouted at me as she looked around frantically.

Rushing to her side, “We have to go, now!” Bill was telling her, trying to pull her from the room. I released Newlin, ready to get Sookie out safely before the carnage began.

Then, like a god himself, Godric's voice rang out.

“Enough.”

He was above us all on the balcony with Jane kneeling behind him, looking like a ravaged angel. Everyone was frozen in fear and awe.

“You came for me I assume, underling?” Godric asked Stan.

“Yeah, Sheriff,” he growled.

“These people have not harmed me. You see? We can coexist. Mr. Newlin, I do not wish to create bloodshed where none is called for. Help me set an example. If we leave you in peace, will you do the same?”

Godric had made the incorrect assumption that Steven Newlin was a man of honor. He did not care about preventing violence, he only wanted to incite it.

“I will not negotiate with subhumans.” Newlin looked at me, the green splotch of paint had dried between his eyes. “Kill me,” he told me. “Do it. Jesus will protect me.”

“I am actually older than your Jesus,” Godric said blandly. “I wish I could have known him, but I missed it.”

Godric then zipped down and hauled Newlin up. “Good people, who of you is willing to die for this man’s madness?” he asked the humans that were all surrounded by vampires. No one said anything, they just looked nervously at each other. “That’s what I thought.” He then looked to the vampires. “Stand down, everyone.” Stan groaned and released the human he had a hold of, clearly disappointed. “People, go home. It’s over now,” Godric ordered the humans to leave and slowly, they did just that.

Sookie cried against Bill, and we waited as the people had departed. Godric still had a tight grip on Newlin.

“Please, don’t leave me,” Newlin called out pathetically to his congregation.

Godric tossed him to the floor. “I daresay my faith in humankind is stronger than yours.” Then he turned to me. “Eric, get Jane,” he ordered me and I saw that she was still above in the balcony area. “Come,” Godric said to the remaining vampires. I zipped up to get Jane, scooping her easily into my arms. The scents on her were disturbing and I pushed them from my mind for a moment so I could focus. I zipped us back down to Godric’s side.

Stan had stopped him in the middle of the room. “Sir, after what these humans have done to you?” I nearly growled. Stan had the audacity to question Godric, even now?

“I said come,” Godric ordered Stan. I followed them out, still carrying Jane. There was a palpable feeling of disappointment from the vampires and many zipped away. We rode in silence in Stan's ridiculous oversized SUV. He was taking us to Godric’s nest, violating several traffic laws in the process. I fell into down time for a moment, trying not to think, trying not to feel overwhelmed by this evening's events. I wasn’t ready to process it yet. I did not feel as if we were fully out of danger. Stan parked on the street and I followed Godric inside, while still carrying a silent and numb feeling Jane. Godric led us through the common area of the nest down a narrow hallway and used a prick of his finger to code us into his private rooms.

There, I laid Jane on his bed, nearly tripping on several stacks of books in various languages. I looked between pale and cool Godric, and tiny damaged Jane.

He looked at her with an expression I had never seen on his face before. Adoration, wonder, and… shame? I finally gave myself permission to look at her and to decipher the scents on her. It was a painful process. Her clothes were ripped, and she smelled strongly of a human male’s scent. Of his seed.

She was raped.

I nearly died in shame at the realization. The blood in my veins ran cold and I fell to my knees in front of her, my legs simply giving out. That's what I had felt during the day. That was what her pain was. Her wide blue-green eyes were looking at me and she curled into a ball. Her feelings were indecipherable in the bond. Fear, shame, relief, joy, all convoluted.

“We’re going to bathe you,” Godric told her softly, holding his power back very tightly. It was the most docile I had seen him in centuries. When Jane nodded slowly Godric led us into his master bath and started the shower. I lifted Jane up and set her on her feet on the soft white rug. Her ripped dress came off easily, and I saw that her panties must have been torn from her body. The sight of blood on her thighs filled me with white hot rage and I barely had the control to not blast it down the bond at Jane. She slipped off her bra and got under the spray of the water with slow steps.

We waited for a moment, unsure of how to help her, and then she begged, “Don’t leave me alone.” Godric and I both quickly shed our clothes and joined her. I wrapped my arms around her as we stood under the spray of the warm water. “I’m sorry,” she cried against my chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“Do not apologize. Not about this,” I croaked out to her. I failed again to protect her and she continued to apologize to me.

Godric got the scent erasing soap out and began washing down Jane’s body. I saw that he washed her very gently, but I was worried she would be scared of Godric, that she wouldn’t want his presence. That all men, even those as closely tied to me as my maker, would scare her. Even when he was remembering to breathe and blink humans were frightened of his innate power. He could shield it very well, but it still made them uneasy in a way they couldn’t quite explain. But Jane seemed completely relaxed at his touch. Something must have happened between them. Or was it just his blood in her that made her trust him?

For Godric to give her his blood… he wouldn’t have done so just for me. He would have had his own reasons. I couldn’t fathom what had happened between them.

He washed every inch of creamy skin reverently, until he stopped at the juncture of her thighs. “I will clean here deeply. I will stop if it hurts,” he murmured softly and looked up at her, his hair soaked dark and his eyes their lightest shade of misty grey. She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded. I watched his soaped up fingers enter her and had to repress my rage in the bond lest I scare her. A man left his seed inside her. I would kill him. I would rip him limb from limb... Godric rinsed her well and then turned off the water. He helped her out and wrapped her in a fluffy towel. She looked at him with wide luminous eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered and she stood there like a statue. I dried myself and put my clothes back on. Godric dressed in grey pants and a grey sweater. He looked briefly through his closet and then seeing nothing that would fit tiny Jane, he turned away from us.

“I will be right back,” he said and zipped off. I continued to dry Jane off, and she still seemed rather frozen.

“He’s dead,” Jane said in a monotone voice. “Godric killed him.”

She meant the man that hurt her this way. He was the dead man in the basement, that was why the scent was familiar. I couldn’t tell her feelings about this, she was still too numb. I hoped that she would not be upset at Godric’s violence in her defense.

Godric was back with women's clothes that were still too large for tiny Jane but would have to do. He pulled a long black dress over her head and put a black sweater on top. He examined her, trying to determine if she would be alright.

“Vampires will be arriving soon,” he explained to her, and it was true. With him back they would all come to pay homage, and as sheriff, he would be obligated to sit before them, as was protocol. “Eric can stay with you here,” he told her.

“No!” she nearly shouted and then she clung to him. I was surprised that Godric let her, he generally didn’t tolerate this kind of behavior from humans very well.

“I must go,” he told her softly, his hand stroking the back of her head as she pressed her face against him. Godric made eye contact with me over her shoulder. “You can come with me,” he conceded.

We went out to the main area of the nest, where it was already quite full. Godric went and sat in his modern white chair that he had been using as a throne and Jane placed herself on the floor directly beside him. I stood by his side, to the back right, as the line formed, taking the place of his second while Isabel was away. Godric sat perfectly still and statue-like, and I worried that it would scare Jane, his behavior so predatory. But she wasn’t afraid at all as she pressed her face to his leg and nuzzled into him.

Did she... did she have a blood bond with him?

What had happened between them?

******

Godric’s POV - Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

The woman I had been searching for nearly a year was being raped in the room next to mine and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. I wanted to throw myself against the bars of my silver cage. I wanted to burn my flesh against it. I resisted the urge, it wouldn’t save her. It wouldn’t prevent what was happening. I heard her screams and her pleas. Her sobbing. She was being hurt in a way that was unforgivable.

And it was because of me.

How did she find me? She clearly wasn’t a member of the Fellowship of the Sun. I forced myself to bear witness to what was happening. Her broken cries cut through me and I heard every vile word that was being uttered to her. Disgusting cretin. He would die. He did not deserve to live. No mercy for filth.

The Reverend Newlin came down and I had thought momentarily he would protest over what Gabe had done to her, but he did not. They brought her in the room with me and threw her on the floor outside of my cage, and locked her in. She looked at me, ashamed, trying to cover her body.

“I cannot breach these bars,” I told her. “They are made of pure silver.” I hoped she understood that was why I hadn’t been able to help her.

She nodded. She wasn’t ready to speak to me yet.

I listened as Newlin spoke with the other prisoners. He became alarmed when he found out Sookie Stackhouse’s name and there was some connection to her brother. The prisoners went silent for a bit and I looked back at the mystery woman.

“I didn’t know it was you,” she started. “When I came here. I didn’t know.”

She wasn’t making much sense.

“Perhaps you can start at the beginning,” I said, and I sat cross-legged on the floor of the cage. She came closer and I got a remarkable and familiar scent off her.

Eric. My childe. She smelled strongly of him... she had his blood in her.

“You can tell, can’t you?” she asked. “You can smell the blood?”

“Eric,” I said stiffly, still confused.

His puzzling human, the one he didn’t understand and couldn’t figure out, the one that wouldn’t have sex with him. It was her.

My mystery woman and his mystery woman were the same. I could have laughed if it was not so tragic. I scented her again. This time I was more disturbed. I smelled her earthy rare AB negative blood. She was bleeding.

“You’re… you’re bleeding,” I told her and she looked down. She lifted her dress out of the way and I could see blood between her thighs, but what was more concerning were contusions on the skin above her womb. She had internal bleeding as well.

“I don’t… feel very good,” she said and she looked over at her arm that she was holding at a strange angle. Was it broken? She stood and more blood dribbled from her onto the floor. “Oh,” she said, sounding surprised.

“Come. You must take my blood,” I told her gently. “You have internal bleeding as well.” I bit my wrist and held it through the bars.

“I have a blood bond with Eric, will that… change this?” she slurred as she knelt before the cage. I pulled my arm back in, and rebit my wrist, the punctures having closed too quickly.

“No, we are of the same blood, you will be okay. Drink,” I told her. She was right to be concerned, had Eric not been of my line I would have been essentially guaranteeing a challenge to his claim of her.

“Are you sure? It’s sacred to me too,” she whispered, holding her ripped dress closed with her good arm.

I stared at her, struggling to understand. She was bleeding everywhere, her arm badly damaged and she was still unsure if she should take my blood?

“Yes, I am certain. I have wanted you to have it for many months now,” I told her honestly.

I hadn’t been able to remember the exact color of her eyes, but now that she was here, staring me down, I felt that it was impossible for me not to have remembered that strange color. I felt a rush of profound joy amidst the heartache and shame. She had found me. The depth of her gaze was startling, she saw me, and once again I was vulnerable with her.

“I accept,” she agreed finally and I bit my wrist again and held it out through the bars.

Her soft pink lips sucked my ancient blood inside her, and I was shocked by all that I felt from her. She felt deeply, she was in pain, both physical and emotional. I allowed her to drink until all of her physical pain was gone. I heard an awful crunching sound from her shoulder as it popped back into place, but she didn’t seem to notice. I pulled my wrist in, feeling woozy myself. I did not have enough blood to give. I had not fed in such a long time.

“Oh my God!” she yelped. “You need to drink from me now. You look like a skeleton!” I looked down and saw that she was right, my skin was a translucent white. I had given her too much of my blood. She went to put her own wrist through but then stopped. Her eyes widened as if she was remembering something.

“Oh! Let’s see if this works.”

She had a silver key in her hand and she put in the lock of my cage and the door swung open. She tripped over to me and brushed the hair off her neck. “Feed from me, please. You look so unwell.”

Here she was again, offering her blood to save me. I felt as if her veins contained salvation. I had hungered for her. Ached for this in a way I couldn’t describe or explain. Like her blood was calling to me.

I licked her neck gently and punctured her lightly and she gasped in pleasure. As soon as her blood touched my lips a permanent blood bond burst forth between us. I had given her nearly all of my blood, and as it was ancient and strong, it did not surprise me that a bond had formed after just one massive exchange. Her blood was just as delicious as I remembered. I was haunted by the taste of it - earth and roses, so pure and clean. She moaned as I fed from her and I could feel her joy, her pleasure, and her surrender at my touch. The trust she placed in me...to allow me to feed from her after what she had just experienced. She was such a gift. I tried not to drink too much, it was difficult, as I wanted to drown in her. When I felt her heartbeat slow it startled me enough that I was able to stop drinking and she laid limply against me.

“Tell me your name,” I asked her, and I realized how strange it was that I had a blood bond with her and still did not know her name.

“Jane. Jane Compton,” she whispered. Jane. Plain Jane. She had said that on the ridge but I had thought that was just a phrase humans said; I had no idea that was her actual name. What a fool I was. “I feel so odd. Is this what feeling high from the blood is like?” she asked quietly and then she shook her head. “I don’t like that.”

“It will pass,” I told her and stroked her fine blonde hair off her face. “Tell me how you came to be here.”

She told me a slurred giggly story of how she had moved away from Dallas at the beginning of the summer to inherit a house, how her vampire ancestor wouldn’t give it up, how she had enlisted Eric’s help and agreed to be his, of her various injuries that led to her blood bond, and how she had to come to Dallas with him because of that bond. She hesitated on the last section of her tale.

“Eric… the despair he felt, and the idea of losing you, of losing his maker. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t ever allow him to feel such pain. I left during the day without telling him, I had to see if I could find you, for him.” She laughed a little, she was quite adorable in her intoxicated state. So cute when she was slurring her speech. “I guess I did.”

“You’ve saved me again,” I told her.

“I can’t believe it’s you. I dream about you all the time. I’ve been searching for this feeling ever since that night.”

Did she feel about me as I felt about her? Had she been searching?

“What feeling?” I asked her.

She paused, her eyes closed. “The feeling of you. I didn’t know what it was. This feeling of mystery and wonder. Of timelessness, of eternity, and of death.” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “I looked everywhere.”

She stunned me. She had been looking for me, and I had been waiting for her.

“I have been at our ridge almost every night for the last year,” I told her. “Until I was here.” I swallowed uselessly. “I had hoped you would come back.”

She cried and laughed at the same time, her gaze dropping to avoid mine. “I was afraid if I came back it would be ruined. My one perfect night with you.”

I nodded. I had wondered that myself. If I saw her again, would it break the illusion? Would she no longer be what she was that night? As I held her in my arms, I knew that would never be the case. She was perfectly incandescent even now, bloodied and battered.

She laid there like a ribbon gone slack, still feeling the effects of my blood. I heard the prisoners next door begin to talk again. Isabel’s man admitted to being the traitor, all because he had wanted to be turned and Isabel had refused him. I looked at the tiny fierce woman in my arms. I would have to turn her. There was no way that I could let her age and wither and die. Perhaps I had known that when I first met her on that ridge. The same way I knew when I saw Eric on the battlefield fighting. Or when Eric had brought Nora to me and she said that she would rather fuck death than fight it.

A moment of destiny.

We were entwined by more than coincidence. If I ever had a reason to believe in fate, it was never more persuasive than this miracle that I had encased in my arms now.

“You are mine now,” I told her. I had decided. I was going to keep her. Forever and eternity.

She looked at me, I could not read her expression. “What will Eric say?” she asked, and I could feel her deep compassion, her care, her love for my first progeny. She was worried about hurting him.

“He is of my blood, you will be his too,” I explained. “You are ours.”

She smiled mysteriously and sadly. “Yes,” she said, and I did not understand the sorrow that belied her acceptance. Then she giggled, rather loudly. “I can’t believe you're Eric’s maker. That’s so funny.”

I shook my head, smiling. This woman was a mystery to me still.

“It is getting close to nightfall. We should plan to make our escape before Eric comes,” I told her. Jane giggled again and I realized that she would not be able to hold it together to be quiet. She was still under the influence of my blood. I would have to wait until she settled more. Eric would inevitably come before then.

I heard the prisoner's room next door burst open and Isabel’s man tried to negotiate his freedom and protection, and then the rapist began hurling insults at him and beating him. I waited, I had no need to protect the traitor. When I heard the woman’s screams and the foul words Gabe said to her, I had to take action. I would not allow him to inflict this violence on innocent women any longer - especially ones that were being endangered due to my meddling progeny.

Now that the cage was open the locked door was no problem. I scooped up Jane and busted the door open easily. I zipped into the other room, leaned Jane gently against the wall, ripped open their cage, and pulled Gabe off of Miss Stackhouse. He tried to remind me who he was, as if I had somehow forgotten.

I snapped his neck easily, with no remorse and all the rage I felt toward him. For a moment, I regretted killing him so quickly. I should have made him suffer. I looked over at Jane and she smiled; a soft mysterious Mona Lisa smile. My gods… what an enigma she was. I wanted to crawl inside her brain and find out exactly what she thought of the vengeance I had carried out on her behalf.

My head snapped to the sounds as I heard screams from above and then I sensed Eric. I called out to him. He came reverently and I conveyed my disappointment in him at involving the humans, and I gave him strict orders to get Miss Stackhouse out without shedding any blood. He followed them and I trusted that he would. I stayed below with the still intoxicated Jane, but after a few moments she cried out, telling me she felt a burning pain from Eric, and I knew that we would need to go to him. I carried her up the stairs silently. She told me that the burning had stopped… I could scent the presence of many vampires and humans in the large prayer room and I snuck us stealthy over to listen.

Stan. Of course, he was trying to start a war. I zipped up around the back and up to the loft area so I could address the group. With my goddess at my feet, I stopped the violence. I had hoped that the dishonorable Newlin could take the high road, but he did not. I sent the humans and vampires home, ending this disaster that had been my own illogical suicide attempt.

Eric held Jane in the back of Stan’s vehicle as he returned us to the nest. I wondered how much Eric had been able to figure out from scent alone. It was a silent ride as I would not reveal anything to Stan if I didn’t have to. Stan was on thin ice prior to this incident and if he thought his actions at trying to ‘save’ me would redeem in my books, he was sorely mistaken.

When we reached the nest I directed Eric to bring Jane to my quarters. We bathed her and removed the foul and offending scent of her rapist. How we had both failed her... I vowed then and there as I cleaned her that nothing, and no one, would ever violate her again. She was mine. She seemed numb, the relaxing and drug-like effects of my blood had worn off. I dressed and realized I had nothing I could clothe her in so I left her briefly in Eric’s care while I stole clothes from Isabel’s room. I dressed Jane and explained that I would have to leave her, but she clung to me. I did not know if it was a result of the bond or her fear from her ordeal but I knew I could not deny her.

I brought them out to the receiving room and Jane sat on the floor next to my chair. I would have put her in my lap but I could sense from our bond that she wanted to hide for a bit, that she did not want to be on display. Eric stood in the place of my second, and I knew that I needed to have more time with him - we had several conversations we needed to have. The look he was giving me and Jane... He was starting to figure out what happened. The tribute line formed as protocol and the vampires of the area came to give me their fealty and respect. Many were sincere.

Stan’s was perfunctory.

“Welcome home, Sheriff. We are all very relieved,” Stan begrudgingly stated, and I nodded to him. Stan’s eyes lingered on Jane at my feet, but then he left quietly.

Eric whispered in my ear in Norse about Jason Stackhouse, the brother of Sookie Stackhouse, that he had been able to create a disruption that prevented greater violence from ensuing.

“Uh, hey Jane,” he said to her and she turned away from him, not wanting to be noticed at all and then he turned to me. “Well, I just wanted to say I’m real sorry for what the Fellowship put you through.”

“You helped save many lives today, Mr. Stackhouse. Please know that you have friends in this area whenever you visit,” I told the handsome young man. The boy had a sweet AB negative scent that was delightful, and I knew that I needed to feed soon.

“Thanks, man, but, uh, I don’t know if I’ll be wanting to come back anytime soon,” he skittered away from me, and I realized I had frightened him.

Jane snorted slightly from behind my leg, and Eric followed Mr. Stackhouse. Clearly, Eric had something else he needed to say to him.

I half-listened to the words of gratitude that the next vampire said, as I focused the rest of my attention on the conversation Eric was having with Mr. Stackhouse. Eric stated that Stackhouse was a buyer and user of vampire blood, and the young man claimed that he didn’t partake in such activities anymore. Eric let him off lightly and grinned at me. I felt a thread of amusement at his antics. My dear, reckless progeny. Was he letting him off easy because he had helped save me, or because Mr. Stackhouse was such a tempting treat? Eric came over and checked in on Jane. She stood and headed toward the bathroom. I watched as Eric followed her and then lingered where he could see her and myself. Then he started speaking with Sookie Stackhouse and a dark-haired vampire I didn’t know.

“I heard my name. I hope you were speaking well of me?” Eric purred as he sauntered up to them, his hands in pockets. I nodded at the vampire that welcomed me back, multitasking easily.

“Why should I? You let me walk into a trap,” the sugary Miss Stackhouse accused him with sass.

“I regret that. If I had known it was a possibility—” Eric started to lie but she cut him off.

“You did know. But because it was Godric, you’d risk anything.” She had figured that out. He truly would do anything for me. His loyalty to me was everlasting.

“The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than you can imagine,” he futilely tried to explain. “Perhaps one day you’ll find out,” he suggested, looking pointedly at the vampire and I could see he was playing them, trying to figure out if they had discussed the possibility of turning her. Jane came up to them and tugged on Eric’s arm, and he escorted her away, toward the kitchen to find her some human food, I hoped.

The receiving line died down and Eric was walking back out of the kitchen area so he could stand between the rooms, and watch both Jane and myself. He was like a sentry in some ways, standing guard. As he turned down the hall I saw the dark-haired vampire grab him by the arm.

“I don’t like being touched,” Eric told the vampire.

“Well, believe me, I do not like touching you,” the vampire told him with disgust in his voice. “Your contact with Sookie will cease from this moment.”

“Oh, that’s hardly your decision,” Eric replied, and I saw a calculating gleam in his eye.

“Calling in my maker because you couldn’t win Sookie for yourself is feeble and desperate even for you.” Was Eric interested in claiming Miss Stackhouse? Her attitude was atrocious and the scent of her blood was extremely off-putting, I could not imagine that was his purpose.

“Are you picking a fight?” Eric asked him with a grin. What an arrogant child - Eric would be able to put this young vampire down quickly. Eric was over a thousand now and the other vampire’s power felt like it couldn’t be much over a hundred. “I’d like to see you try.”

“She will never be yours. And there is nothing you can do. In this you are powerless. Accept it,” Bill threatened him, but then we were all distracted by Isabel coming in. She was toting her human, her face streaked with blood tears and expression pained.

“Here is the one that betrayed us,” she stated, emotion coloring her voice as she threw him at my feet.

“Hugo. He is your human, is he not?” I asked her.

“Yes, he is.” She still claimed him. Even after his betrayal. Astounding.

“Do you love him?” I asked her, to be certain.

“I— I thought that I did,” Isabel told me, more blood tears threatened to fall.

“It appears that you love him still,” I said, seeing it so clearly.

“I do,” Isabel admitted. It pained her. “I’m sorry.”

I saw Stan look at her with disgust.

“But you are my Sheriff. Do with him as you please.” Isabel had been a loyal friend to me for many decades. She continued to show her loyalty to me even now. I had been especially capricious recently. She had no idea what I would do with the human that she loved. I felt responsible for this entire mess, allowing myself to be captured. I would spare him for her, she was one of the few vampires that I would consider not only an ally but a friend.

“You are free to go,” I told the human.

“Huh?”

“What?”

“The human is free to go,” I said louder. I saw Jane’s head poke out from behind Eric’s broad shoulder. “And do not return. I fear it is not safe for you here,” I warned him, as I saw the look on Stan’s face.

“This is a travesty,” Stan said, outraged.

“This is my verdict,” I told him firmly. I looked at my first progeny. “Eric, escort them out. Make sure he leaves unharmed.”

“Yes, Godric,” Eric said, as he had said thousands of times before.

Eric grabbed Hugo by the scruff and dragged him away as Isabel thanked me.

“Thank you. Thank you, Sheriff.” I nodded at her.

Jane came over and I offered her my lap. She perched on it gently. I felt out to her and she was a bit nervous. My blood nearly boiled when I felt that she was still in pain. Even after all the blood I had fed her! What a monstrous ordeal she had been through.

“Are you entertaining humans now, Sheriff?” Stan asked gruffly.

“This young woman saved my life. You will treat her with respect,” I told him. He looked at her darkly and walked away. She shivered in my lap.

“You are safe,” I whispered to her and pulled her closer. The blood bond hummed in appreciation, and she melted into me. I was pleased that she found my presence comforting. I could see the shocked expression of the vampires familiar with me. They knew I did not have humans in my company. That humans did not want to be in my company. Isabel came back in and looked at me briefly. But then, astounded by my familiarity with Jane, she turned away. Eric followed in after her, and he knelt by my side.

“Hugo’s been dispatched. I told him to not stop driving until he reaches the Mexican border.” I nodded at him. He looked at Jane and then back to me. “You look very pale, you need to feed.”

I looked at Jane, wondering what she thought of Eric’s assessment, and she nodded in agreement. “You do look pale,” she said and she stroked my cheek. “I can feed you or you can feed from another,” she offered sweetly, and I felt her worry for me in the bond.

“Thank you,” I told them, and I felt the need to claim her strongly then, but she needed time to recover. “I will feed later,” I promised them.

“You have to feed eventually,” Eric said, thinking that I was putting him off as I had in the past. “I doubt the Fellowship had anything to offer,” he joked. I needed to explain my connection to Jane, he would not understand otherwise.

“Eric… do you remember when I was convinced to feed, it was almost a year ago?” I asked him.

He nodded immediately. “Are you willing to describe her to me now? I will find her for you,” he said urgently.

I examined Jane. “Approximately five foot one inches tall, in her twenties, fine blonde hair, rare earthy clean AB negative blood, an excellent artist. Scent is primarily English roses,” I told him.

Eric stared at us stunned. Then he looked at Jane in realization. “He was the one, your first bite?”

“Yes,” she explained, nervously biting her full lower lip in a way that I longed to do. “I had no idea he was your maker.”

Eric sat stunned for another moment. Then he broke out into a wide smile.

“This is excellent,” he said, near joyful.

I felt Jane's relief flood the blood bond. She had been worried about his reaction.

“Then you will feed?” he prompted me again.

“Yes,” I told him. “Later.” I looked meaningfully at Jane’s neck and he grinned. It was not something I would want to rush.

Eric held Jane’s hands tightly. He looked at her and I saw that he loved her. Overwhelming. More than he would ever admit to himself.

“Of course it was you,” he said reverently. “That’s one of the reasons you reminded me of him, I had scented you on him. I just could never place it.”

She pushed at him playfully, got off my lap, and wandered off in the direction of the bathroom. Her behavior was bewildering. Eric and I shared a moment of perplexed joy. Oh, how he had claimed that I would understand once I met her! How foolish I had been not to believe him. It was times like this that I wondered more about destiny and fate than ever before. For her to be entwined in our lives this way, it had to mean something.

I was saved from Eric’s gloating by the entrance of an older vampire. She began talking to Miss Stackhouse. I asked Eric in Norse to tell me about the sassy young woman with the sickeningly sweet scent. He explained that Miss Stackhouse has telepathic abilities, that she could not be glamoured and was being manipulated by a vampire in his area. Bill Compton, Jane’s ancestor.

“She has a strong mind, but he’s been flooding her with his blood. She is an asset to my region,” he hesitated and then continued. “Jane… she is very compassionate, she wants me to save Sookie from his influence. I am working on learning his motives and purpose for possessing her. Her skill is useful but her scent is odd.” Eric shook his head and wrinkled his nose.

“Odd how?” I questioned.

“She smells overly sweet, but her fresh blood had a strange scent like heat,” Eric replied.

“Interesting, I do not find her sugar scent appealing.”

He shook his head. “I hadn’t either, but that heat...I can’t describe it.”

I watched the older vampire in the red dress interact with her.

“Who’s this?” I asked.

“Bill’s maker, Lorena. She’s quite obsessed with him.”

Sookie baited the vampire gratuitously.

“Miss Stackhouse does not understand the dangers of vampires,” I told Eric blandly.

“No, she does not,” Eric said, and his tone implied that my assessment was an understatement. Everyone in the entire lair had now stopped to watch their argument.

The older vampire had already dropped fang and Sookie continued to goad her as if she had a death wish.

“You fucking bitch, you’ve lost this one!” Miss Stackhouse shouted, and I realized I was going to have to intervene or Miss Stackhouse would be killed.

I zipped up and grabbed the older vampire by the throat before she could bite.

“Retract. Your. Fangs,” I ordered her slowly and she did. “Now. I neither know nor care who you are. But in this area and certainly in this nest, I am the authority.” Eric was right by my side, ready to follow my command should I give it. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sheriff.”

I released my hold from her throat.

“This human has proven herself to be a courageous and loyal friend to our kind. And yet you treat her like a child does a dragonfly, pulling off wings for sport. No wonder they hate us.” I tried to get her to think about her actions, about the implications of her savage behavior.

“She provoked me.”

While this was true, it did not excuse her from her actions.

“And you provoked me. You disrupted the peace in my own home. I could snap you like a twig. Yet I haven’t. Now, why is that?” I stated, leaning slightly towards her. Just because I could, did not mean that I should. My age and position gave me great power over others. I wielded it carefully. Vampires must master their emotions. This vampire needed to learn to do the same.

“It’s your choice”

“Indeed it is. You’re an old vampire, I can tell. You’ve had hundreds of years to better yourself, yet you haven’t. You are still a savage, and I fear for all of us, humans and vampires if this behavior persists.” I took the opportunity to pontificate to the nest, as everyone was listening anyway. I did not stand for gratuitous violence, especially against innocents.

I turned to the dark-haired vampire, her manipulative progeny. “You. You seem to know her.” I did not reveal my knowledge about him.

“Yes, Sheriff,” he said respectfully.

“Escort her from the nest,” I commanded.

He turned to Miss Stackhouse, to check that she was well. “Go ahead, I’m fine,” she said.

“I wish you out of my area before dawn,” I told the old vampire. She nodded and they both left. Jane had been watching from behind the wall in the hallway. I gestured that she could come in now that the vampire had left and she came to me, immediately placing herself in my arms and curled into me for protection. I sighed at the sensation of the velvety skin of her cheek pressing against my collar bone. How long ago had it been since someone sought me for safety this way? It must have been Nora, but I could not remember the time. What a pleasure it was. I draped my arm over her protectively.

We returned to the receiving room and I sat with Jane, her tucking herself under my chin. But then Isabel entered. I needed to have a discussion with my second in command and I could tell that Isbel would not appreciate an audience.

“Jane, can you step out for a moment? I need to speak with Isabel alone,” I asked Jane and she nodded respectfully and left quickly.

Isabel watched her leave. “I never thought I would see you with a human,” she said. “That one is especially strange,” she added.

“In what way?” I asked as I thought so as well. All the best ones were.

“She is not Eric’s pet, but she… seems to have accepted that her life is fleeting and short, compared to that of a vampire’s. She stated that it is foolish to think that there can be anything more than claiming between vampires and humans. Her words made me feel especially guilty about how I had been treating Hugo. I knew what she said was true. I love him, but never in the way that he loved me.”

I swallowed uselessly. That was not what I expected her to say. I didn’t know how I felt about that.

“Excuse me, everyone,” a voice shouted, stopping the conversations. Isabel went out to see who it was and I followed her. “If I could have your attention.” It was a human man, a vampire’s companion I imagined. “My name is Luke McDonald. I’m a member of the Fellowship of the Sun.” Several vampires stood to confront him when he said that. “And I have a message for you all from Reverend Steve Newlin.” He unzipped his jacket to reveal a bomb strapped to his chest and coated in silver and wooden bullets. Just as he pressed the button Jane stepped out next to him.

Then there was a blast. There was nothing I could do. I was blinded by the flash of light and knocked to the floor. I reached out to Jane’s newly formed bond, and all I felt was pain.

Excruciating pain.

Chapter Text

Jane’s POV - Wednesday, July 22nd & Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

I was trying to avoid Stan’s gaze, so I stepped out of the corner closer to the wildly proud human making his announcement. By the time I realized the motivation behind his feelings, it was too late. I didn’t remember the explosion. It was as if one second I was standing there completely fine, and the next second I was lying flat on my back, and everything hurt and seared.

Then Godric was next to me, and his face was glowing above mine. So beautiful and perfect. Just like in my dreams. He was the feeling. It was him. I felt blood slip out of my mouth, and I looked down to see that my stomach had been blown open; it was a huge red mess of blood. I was in shock. That was the only explanation.

Godric bit his wrist and held it to my mouth, but I didn’t think that would do any good. I knew how much blood it took to heal. And for the injury I had...I wasn’t going to make it.

“Tell Eric thank you,” I was able to gurgle out, letting go of his wrist.

“You must drink,” he said, wild-eyed.

“I loved our perfect fleeting moment. It was worth everything,” I told Godric, hoping he’d understand.

“You insane beautiful creature, you must drink,” he told me again, and he re-bit his wrist and held it to my mouth. Then Eric was there, looking furious and crazed.

“She’s dying,” he told Godric.

“I know,” Godric responded, forcing his blood down my throat.

“You need to ask her,” Eric said. “Jane,” he called out to me. He sounded so far away.

“Thank you,” I told him deliriously. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Jane,” Godric shouted, “I am going to...” But I couldn’t hear what he said. I was floating, and I was finally feeling what I had been searching for. That otherness, that timelessness, and decay. That twisted, perfect, agonizing, endless beauty. I let it envelop me, and I knew then that what I had been looking for was death. My last thought was that there wasn’t really any difference.

That Godric and death felt the same.

****

I blinked, and noticed I was surrounded by darkness. I was a bit disappointed but not surprised. I had always thought that there was probably nothing after death. I had hoped there would be some sort of afterlife, but it was disappointing to find myself just surrounded by blackness. I realized I still had a body. I was able to feel my limbs. I still had my senses - I could smell, I could smell everything. I smelled dirt and a disgusting sort of fluid smell that reminded me of a hospital. I moved my fingers and realized that I was surrounded by dirt. Wriggling around, I began to dig my way out, and just a few moments later, I broke the surface, gasping as I clawed my way forward.

There was so much to see and to hear. I could see everything - each individual blade of grass that surrounded me, each tiny dewdrop that beaded on the silken petals of roses. Magnificent. The world had never looked more beautiful to me... I could smell what seemed to be at least two hundred types of roses. It was so much, and I couldn’t process it all. Then I saw them. Godric was sitting still as a statue watching me with blood tears flowing down his face. Eric was standing behind him, his hand on Godric's shoulder. His expression was completely blank. I instinctively felt out for the bonds with them and was literally blown over by the feelings.

I shuddered and shook and felt like I was having a seizure. I was being blasted by wonder, by relief, and then by worry and fear. “Stop!” I screamed. “It’s too much,” I whimpered as I shook and shook, curling in on myself.

“It didn’t work,” I heard Eric’s voice say from far away. “She shouldn’t be reacting this way!”

“Enough,” Godric barked. “Calm yourself. She’s scared, she’s feeling both of us.”

Slowly focusing on the sound of Godric’s voice, I was able to pull back into myself and I saw them above me. “What happened?” I croaked, trying to understand what I was feeling.

“I turned you,” Godric replied, and I saw that he was covered in dirt. “I was not sure it would work.”

Turned me.

I was a vampire.

“Oh!” I said, suddenly understanding. I ached suddenly with thirst and need. “Oh.”

“We should get you inside,” Godric told me and he pulled me up to stand. When his hand touched mine, I quaked under the onslaught of feelings.

“Don’t touch me!” I said and removed myself from his grasp.

Eric and Godric exchanged a dark look but said nothing.

“Where...where are we going?”

“Back to the hotel. The nest was destroyed. Do you remember the bomb?” Eric asked me.

I tried. I couldn’t remember. I remembered a man walking in...and simple dark bliss. “I don’t know,” I told them.

“I should fly you back,” Godric told me. “In order to do so, I will need to touch you.”

I trembled. I nodded, and Godric scooped me up easily. Immediately I completely lost hold of myself, and all I felt was him, just him. All of Godric’s fear was pouring into me, his worry, a strange sense of pride and longing. I forgot who I was, and Jane didn’t exist anymore, only everything that was Godric.

“Jane,” I heard someone saying something. It sounded familiar. What did that word mean? “Jane!”

That was me! That was my name. I opened my eyes, and I was laying on the ground outside of a building. It was an alleyway. I stood. How did I get here?

“Where are we?”

“We’re at the hotel. Follow me,” Godric said and I was able to follow him. People gave us wide berth and strange looks. We went back to the hotel room.

“Get in the shower,” Godric told me, and I did what he asked without a thought. I went into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes before getting into the shower. I stood under the water watching the dirt swirl down the drain. The cold of the water didn’t bother me anymore. I could feel it was cold but it didn’t cause me to shiver. The warmth felt more normal so I made the water warm and I washed my skin and my hair. Once I had thoroughly cleaned myself of the blood and dirt, I got out and I heard Eric and Godric’s voices stop talking as soon as I turned the water off.

Walking out in my towel I felt their eyes following me. I went to my suitcase. I took out a bra and panties and a simple dress and then went back to the bathroom to dress. I realized with a start that I couldn’t feel anything. I was totally numb. I had pulled all of my feelings in too tightly. If I let them out at all… I would be lost again. I brushed the tangles out of my hair and went out into the living space.

“How do you feel?” Eric asked me.

“I don’t feel anything,” I told him. “I feel nothing.” He and Godric shared another dark look.

“Are you thirsty?” Godric asked. “We’ve ordered donor blood for you.”

I felt within myself to see if I was thirsty, but I couldn’t feel anything.

“No,” I told them. “I’m not thirsty.”

There was a long silence after that. I laid down on the bed and sank deeper into my numbness. I could handle this. Nothing was far better than everything. There was a knock at the door, and I didn’t even move. I heard a human outside, I could tell because I could hear their heartbeat. Eric came back with five bags of blood.

“Will you try some?” he asked me.

I shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. I didn’t really care either way. Eric seemed to have taken that as an affirmative because he began to heat the bag up in the microwave.

“Sit up,” Godric ordered, and I did so instinctively.

Eric brought the bag over to me, a semi-hopeful expression on his face as he handed it to me. Tilting this way and that, I tried to figure out how drinking from a bag would work. I didn’t know what to do. Spotting the little tube part on the top of the bag, I twisted it open and sucked it in. It was fine. It seemed like water. I drank it through the little straw and they watched me and Eric’s face fell. I resisted the impulse to feel for him through the bond, and continued to keep a tight grip on my feelings.

“How do you feel now?” Godric asked.

“I’m fine,” I told him.

He looked away. There was another knock on the door. “Godric? Eric?” Isabel’s voice called out from behind the door. They opened the door and she came in. “How’s the new baby?” she asked looking over at me. “Did you just have your first blood?” she asked, putting her hand on her heart like it was a precious moment.

I stared at her. I felt nothing.

“Things are not…” Godric trailed off. “Things are not normal,” he said. I didn’t react. I didn’t care.

“We don’t know that yet,” Eric denied. “She’s still adjusting.”

“I brought you some clothes.” Isabel handed Godric a bag. She stood awkwardly, watching me. “We still have to meet with Nan. She’s requiring all of us to attend. She said you could bring your newborn.”

“Very well,” Godric said. “When?”

“In an hour,” Isabel replied and tilted her head at me curiously. “In the conference room.”

“We will be there,” Godric told her.

Isabel nodded and left.

“Jane,” Eric knelt before me. “We can feel you. In the bonds. They’re there but it’s like nothing is coming through.”

I nodded.

“Can you feel us?” Eric asked.

I paused. I didn’t want to try. Why didn’t I want to try again? I felt too much. That was why.

“I don’t want to know,” I told him.

“Why?” Godric asked.

“I… I was afraid. It was too much,” I told him.

“Are you afraid now?” he asked.

“No.”

“Reach out the bonds,” he urged. I did so and I collapsed against the bed under the onslaught of emotion, I shook and shivered as I tried to process it all. Fear, fear, fear. Worry. I was gone again. It wasn’t me anymore. I floated for a while, in a sea of apprehension, of grief and sorrow.

“Jane!” a voice was saying from far away. I blinked. Jane. That was me. I pulled into myself, recognizing my name again.

“Yes,” I said.

“You’re back, but you’re numb again,” Godric sighed. “The bonds are wrong.”

“Okay.” I didn’t really care. I felt nothing.

Eric and Godric started speaking in a language I didn’t understand, and after a few minutes it seemed to get heated. Then Godric said something that sounded like it was the final word as Eric clenched his jaw and went silent. Godric went to shower, and Eric went to the microwave and heated up another bag of blood. He handed it to me and I looked at him blankly.

“Drink it,” he said.

I sucked the blood up through the straw again and it was fine. Like water.

“Does it taste good?” Eric asked.

“It’s fine.”

He sighed. We stayed like that for some time and Godric came out, clean and dressed. They spoke in Swedish for a moment and then Eric started questioning me again.

“Do you think you can drop your fangs?” he asked me.

I looked at him. I didn’t know how.

“Think of something delicious,” he recommended. “Think of Godric’s blood.”

I tried. I tried to remember but I couldn’t.

“I don’t remember,” I told him.

“Do you remember my blood? From when you were human? You said I tasted like the North Sea.”

I remembered that. I thought of it, but there was no feeling behind it. Like trying to eat a photograph.

Eric turned and said something in the old-sounding language to Godric but Godric denied him.

“Drink the rest. Eric, make her another,” he said and I drank the rest of that bag and another one. I didn’t feel any different.

“Are you full?” Eric asked and he went to touch my stomach but I flinched away.

“Don’t touch me,” I told him. I didn’t want to feel all the emotions again.

He looked as if he would cry. I knew intellectually, that normally I would feel upset about making him feel that way, but I couldn’t feel anything.

“We need to go to the meeting,” Godric said despondently. “Come,” he ordered me, and I stood and followed them out. We went to a large conference room and Godric gestured to me to take a seat next to him. Eric sat on an ottoman far away from us. Isabel was already there, and she looked at me sadly. She asked Godric some questions in Spanish and he stood and pulled her aside.

Sookie and Bill came in, and before I even knew what was happening Sookie threw her arms around me. I felt all of her emotions - she was relieved that I was still here. She was curious about my change. She was worried about something too, something that she did. I threw her off of me.

“What did you do?” I asked her. I started to want something. I wanted to know.

“What? I don’t know what you’re—” she stumbled over her words.

“I could tell. You’re hiding something. Something you don’t want others to know,” I told her.

“Jane. Sit down,” Godric ordered, and I complied immediately and innately.

Then Nan Flanagan, the spokesperson for the American Vampire League, came in and I recognized her from TV. She sat down and started tearing into all of us.

“Do you have any fucking idea of the PR mess you’ve made? And who fucking has to clean that shit up? Me. Not you, me. I should drain every one of you bastards.”

“Stan went after the church on his own. None of us knew anything about it,” Eric told her.

Sookie was staring at him. Why was she staring at him?

“Oh really, because everyone who has met Stan in the last three hundred years knew he had a kink about slaughtering humans. But you, his nestmates, his Sheriff, had no clue?” Nan added sarcastically.

“And how were we supposed to know that this time he meant it?” Isabel chimed in.

“Not my problem. Yours,” she sneered as she directed her comment at Godric.

“Don’t talk to him that way,” Eric bristled.

“Don’t talk to me that way,” Nan responded. She turned to Godric. “Let’s get to the point. How did they manage to abduct you?”

“They would have taken one of us sooner or later. I offered myself,” I looked over at him. That did explain it.

“Why?” Nan asked.

“Why not?” Godric asked in return, and to me, it sounded reasonable. Nothing really mattered.

“They wanted you to meet the sun, and you were willing?” she asked him incredulously.

“What do you think?” Godric asked her instead of answering.

“I think you’re out of your mind. And then I hear about a traitor?” she asked.

“Irrelevant. Only a rumor, I’ll take full responsibility,” Godric said. I knew that to be a lie. I knew that Isabel’s man, Hugo, was the traitor.

“You bet you will,” Nan said to him.

“You cold bitch,” Eric said to her.

“Listen, this is a national vampire disaster and nobody at the top has any sympathy for any of you.” She turned to Godric. “Sheriff, you fucked up. You’re fired.”

“I agree, of course,” he said. “Isabel should take over. She had no part in my disgrace.”

Isabel’s gaze jerked over to Godric, “Godric, fight back,” she told him.

Eric looked over at us. “What are you saying? She’s a bureaucrat, you don’t have to take shit from her.”

“You wanna lose your area, Viking?” Nan threatened him.

“You don’t have that kind of power,” Eric replied.

“Hey, I’m on TV. Try me.”

“I’m to blame. I should have contained Stan the second Godric went missing,” Isabel said.

“Isabel,” Godric looked at her and she shut up. “I remove myself from all positions of authority,” he stated.

“Works for me,” Nan agreed.

Sookie wanted to say something, and Bill tried to stop her. “I owe him,” she told Bill. “Ms. Flangan, Godric rescued me from a really large rapist who probably would have killed me too.”

Suddenly, my mouth started speaking of its own accord,“That’s lucky for you. I ended up raped and dead.”

There was a moment of silence at my proclamation.

“Moving on,” Nan said, blowing past what I said.

“No, listen.” Sookie stood. “Then he rescued humans in that church plus a whole lot of vampires. You think it’s a PR mess now, it could have been a hundred, a million times worse. You should thank him,” she said.

“For getting kidnapped? For attracting a suicide bomber?” she snapped and suddenly gestured to me. “For creating this zombie? For piss poor judgment? I think not.”

Eric stood and growled, but Isabel grabbed him before he could do anything.

“Eric,” Godric said to him in a warning tone. There was a moment of tense silence. “It doesn’t matter.”

Eric sat back down and Nan proceeded. “Tell me about the bombing, please. Every single detail.”

“A boy walked into the lair. I thought he was someone’s human companion. He announced that he was from the Fellowship of the Sun and that he had a message from Reverend Steve Newlin. Then he detonated the bomb strapped to his chest. It killed three vampires and two human companions,” Godric explained.

“What happened after?” She asked.

Isabel jumped in. “We released the accomplices and did not harm any humans. We alerted the Hotel Carmilla so that we could seek shelter should the humans return.”

“What a fucking fiasco. You’re lucky I don’t send you all to the Magister. Godric, come to my suite to fill out the forms,” Nan ordered.

“Soon. Let me settle my new progeny,” he told her. The way he said settle made all the vampires shift uncomfortably but I didn’t know what it meant. “I also have something to say. I apologize for all the harm I’ve caused, for all of our lost ones, human and vampire.” He turned and directed the last part of this speech to me. “I will make amends, I swear it.”

“Take it easy, it’s just a few signatures,” Nan said, and she patted him on the shoulder, and then she left.

We all stood and Eric came to Godric and me.

“No,” Eric said resolutely.

“Look at her,” Godric replied. Eric’s eyes flicked to my face and then back to Godric.

“You have to listen to me,” Eric pleaded.

“There’s nothing left to say,” Godric responded.

“There is,” Eric claimed. But I had no idea what they were talking about, and I didn’t have any will to care either.

Godric looked at me and then back to Eric. “On the roof,” he said. He turned to me. “Follow me,” he ordered and I trailed after him.

We went to Nan’s room and Godric signed some forms. Isabel was there and signed them too.

“Godric,” Isabel said as we turned to leave. “It’s only her first night. You could give it some time.”

He looked at her blankly, but then turned and walked away and I followed after him. It felt late or early. I couldn’t decide. We went up to the roof.

Eric was already there. He was waiting for us.

“She is less than a night old,” Eric said as soon as we walked up.

Godric looked over the city. “One night is enough to know.”

“I can’t accept this, it’s insanity,” Eric told him.

“What we’ve done is insanity. We didn’t ask her, we knew it might not work,” Godric replied and gestured to me. “She doesn’t belong here.”

“But she is here!” Eric yelled at him.

“It’s not right. She’s not right,” Godric told him.

Eric tried a different tactic.“You taught me there is no right and wrong. Only survival or death.”

“I told a lie, as it turns out. I would not want mere survival for her.”

“I will keep you both alive by force,” Eric claimed.

“Even if you could, why would you be so cruel?” Godric asked him.

They switched languages and I couldn’t understand them anymore. It didn’t matter. I saw Sookie standing on the roof with us. Why was she here?

I had a feeling. My own feeling. Curiosity. I went over to her. She was watching Eric and Godric. Eric broke down. He fell to his knees and cried blood tears.

“Why are you here?” I asked Sookie.

She placed her hand on my shoulder as if to comfort me and I felt her emotions rush through me. Sadness, grief, guilt, and that niggling feeling from before. She was hiding something.

I grabbed her by the shoulders.

“What did you do? What do you not want me to know?” I shook her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Eric and Godric watching me.

“TELL ME!” I demanded.

“I drank Eric’s blood!” she spat out and I released her.

I looked at Eric and he nodded. I took a breath and slowly felt out to his bond. He was stunned and worried, and suddenly I could feel again. I could care. I staggered over to him. The feelings were still so strong, I wondered if I could take them.

“Did you give her your blood to heal her?” I asked and he pulled me to him.

“No. The little leech stole it when I was knocked out from the blast of the bomb.”

I sighed. I felt relieved. I didn’t want him to want her, I realized. I was... jealous.

Godric was standing right next to me. “You can feel her?” he asked Eric.

“Yes, she… opened up,” he told Godric and his voice sounded amazed. He turned to me. “Open your bond to Godric.” I was immediately frightened. “It’s okay.” Eric held me.

“I’m too scared,” I told them. “When I opened up before… I was completely gone. I couldn’t feel myself anymore; it was only your emotions in the bonds. I didn’t exist anymore,” I explained.

“Then don’t,” Godric said. “We’ll wait.”

Suddenly I felt the rising sun on my skin and I gasped at the burn. “Oh! It hurts!” They quickly ushered me inside before we were burned too badly.

“Are you okay?” Sookie asked Eric, cupping his face and rubbing her thumb in his blood tear.

A sudden and fierce protectiveness rose in me, and I felt a pain in my upper teeth as I jerked towards her.

“Don’t you dare!” I hissed at Sookie. She immediately backed away from Eric and me, alarmed.

“She has fangs!” Eric said joyfully. I felt his surprise and happiness in the bond. He picked me up and twirled me. “They’re so cute. You have little baby fangs!” he rejoiced.

“Put your little sister down,” Godric ordered him and Eric did as he asked. I looked over at Godric and he looked inordinately pleased. “Thank you, Miss Stackhouse--your poor behavior has been the only thing that has been able to break through to her.”

Sookie didn’t know how to take that. “Thank you. I guess. I’ll be going now. I’m glad you’re alright,” she said and I narrowed my eyes at her, shoving down the urge to hiss at her again like a ruffled cat.

“Time for day rest,” Godric announced and he guided us back to our hotel room. Godric and Eric quickly stripped to their boxer briefs and I stood unsure what to do. Eric climbed in the middle of the bed and Godric got in on the right.

“Come to bed, little sister,” Eric said, patting the left side. I took off my dress and bra and pulled on the black tank top that Eric had just shed, then I crawled into bed and he wrapped his long arms around me and I felt the bond settle and hum, electrified with contentment, a thousand times stronger than what I felt as a human.

“Oh!” I moaned against him, hands curling into fists as I held onto the feeling and tried to not become overwhelmed by it. “It’s so much.”

He nuzzled me back. “All of your senses are heightened now. Including the bond.”

Then it occurred to me. What was wrong with me.

My ability to sense emotion… it was heightened too.

****

Godric’s POV - Friday, July 24th, 2009 (Night 2)

I woke before both of my progeny. I watched them at rest. I was utterly and completely awash in the crush of agonizing love I felt for them. I thought back to the night prior. I had nearly done something that would have killed us all.

The thought that Jane had turned wrong, that she was doomed to live her existence a feelingless being, with no wants or desires, had made me almost have her meet the true death. I had stood on the roof prepared to stay with her until our end. If not for the audacious behavior of Miss Stackhouse and Eric’s bond with Jane…

I shook my head and decided not to wander down that path. If I had thought that Jane was an unusual human, she was turning out to be an even stranger vampire. I was thankful that she had finally dropped her baby fangs last night. I wondered about her ability to feed, about her thirst. There was so much I didn’t understand about her.

How was she able to close me off from her? I was her maker, I was supposed to be able to close the bond, not her. Her bond with Eric was still strong, and I had never heard of a vampire having a blood bond to a vampire that was not their maker prior to their turning. I imagined that it would be permanent between them unless one of them decided to break it.

A permanent tie to a vampire that was not one’s maker. How did she feel about that? How would Eric feel about it? How did she even feel about being turned? I had asked both Nora and Eric if they wanted to be turned before I made them. Jane… Eric had said that she never had even considered it.

That she liked the way the light made shadows.

I didn’t know what any of it meant. I was thankful that I no longer had an area to run. We would go back to the safety of Eric’s nest, and I would try to get a better handle on Jane and how to help her. I got out of bed and went into the shower, still thinking. Only moments later I heard the thudding footsteps of Eric and the shower door slid open and he joined me.

“Thank you,” I heard his voice say.

I rinsed the shampoo from my hair and quirked a smile at him. He gave me the most devastatingly charming grin in his arsenal.

“A little sister!” he exclaimed. “A blood bonded sister. And the most unique human I ever met turned vampire,” he continued to exalt, his grin contagious.

“Eric,” I finally stopped him. “She will still have many challenges. I will need your support,” I told him seriously.

“Of course,” he replied. “Anything.”

Then suddenly, he nearly fell over in the shower and I heard something like a moan crossed with a yelp issue from Jane in the other room. I felt in my heart for her and I could not even sense that she had risen. My bond with her was clamped shut on her end - I could sense that she existed, but nothing else leaked through.

“What is it?” I asked him and quickly turned the water off.

“Arousal... and thirst, gods, she’s starving.” He was grabbing his chest where the center of the bond lay.

“Go to her. I will heat the blood,” I commanded him. He went to her, still naked, dripping water from the shower everywhere. I pulled on my boxer briefs and grabbed one of the O positive blood bags and heated it in the microwave. It turned slowly and I peeked my head into the bedroom. Eric had his face buried between her thighs and her moans were echoing loudly from out of the bedroom. The microwave went off and I squeezed the blood bag to disperse the warmth evenly and brought it in.

Jane seemed close to peaking. I was enraptured by the look of pained ecstasy on her beautiful face. She was a goddess. She was begging Eric for something. “Please, please, please,” she cried desperately, and then I saw him flick out his fangs and bite her thigh. She screamed and soaked his face in the pinkish clear fluid of her release. He groaned and I saw him pump his hips against the bed. Did she make him come too? Gods, they were glorious together.

Ignoring the ache of my own fangs I made my way over to the bed. “Feeling better, baby girl?” I asked her and sat down on the side of the bed. She looked at me with an extremely embarrassed expression on her beautiful face. How I wish I could feel that feeling from her through our bond! Then I could give her so much more than just my words at that moment... “None of that. Time to feed,” I told her and I gave her the warmed blood bag. Eric pulled himself out from between her legs and propped himself up on his elbow to watch. She wrapped the sheets around her modestly and then took a sip through the straw part like she did yesterday, only this time when the blood hit her tongue her fangs popped out.

“I’ve never seen cuter fangs,” Eric told her. “Even Pam’s weren’t that small.”

Jane was too absorbed in drinking the blood to notice his comment, however. This was what I had expected yesterday. She sucked it all down quickly. “Can I have another, please?” she asked sweetly, her little fangs still poking out.

“Of course. Eric, go make her another,” I ordered him and as he got up and folded back the sheets I saw the pink stain he left behind. So she did cause him to climax too.

Jane was smiling at me, looking nervous. “How do you feel?” I asked her.

“Everything feels extreme. Urgent,” she said and I nodded, that was more normal.

“Your emotions should be heightened right now,” I explained. “How does your bond with Eric feel?”

She closed her eyes and I saw that she must be reaching out to him. “Unbelievable.” I smiled.

“Can you feel your tether to me?” I asked her, wondering if she could even feel that. She nodded and looked away. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I'm still scared. Of what it will mean if I open both. Maybe I can close Eric’s off and open yours?” she asked, and Eric dropped the blood bag on his way back in at the mere suggestion of her closing herself off from him.

“No. I fear if you close yourself off from him, you’ll lose all connection as you did before,” I explained my concern to her and Eric picked up the bag and handed it to her. “We’ll go slowly.”

She nodded, but I saw her eyes glaze a little with bloodlust and she drank through the straw again. Eric was gazing at her with adoration. A little blood escaped the side of her mouth and he scooped it off her face with his finger and sucked it into his own mouth. She stopped to watch him suck his finger, and I saw her face transform with lust.

“Whoa,” Eric said and clearly he felt it. “What would you like, love?” Jane froze and looked between us and then scampered away, sheet and all, taking her blood bag with her and hiding in the bathroom.

I looked at Eric. “What just happened?” I had expected to watch him take her thoroughly, and hopefully, if she was able to feel like she could handle my touch, help her as well.

He flopped down on the bed.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” he said. “She’s been hurt.”

I felt like such a fool. Of course. What happened only two nights ago. “Ah... of course. I was silvered in, full solid bars,” I explained to him why I had not been able to escape and save her.

He shook his head. “Before then.”

I froze. “Explain.”

And so he did explain in a mishmash of Norse and Swedish. That she consented to her first sexual encounter to be horribly hurt, that she hadn’t known that such behavior was not only abnormal but deplorable. That her encounter with me was her first positive sexual experience. I had wondered why she had come from such a soft and simple touch. Eric explained that the bite I gave her at the moment of her peak was something that she now craved.

He hesitated, and then admitted that he still hadn’t had intercourse with her, but that she had been seemingly getting closer to being ready to do so. Until she was recently hurt again. While I had listened, unable to help.

“It’s not just the physicality. She doesn’t trust. She wanted to, but she wasn’t ready,” he ended.

This was going to make her transition a lot harder.

“I had a question about this actually,” Eric said, turning over on his stomach to look up at me. “Does the transition make all newborns more lustful, or does it just heighten what was already present in the human personality?”

“A good question. It heightens all emotions, but it also wants to feed the bond. In my opinion, it seeks out pleasurable feelings to heighten the connection between maker and progeny, even if those pleasurable activities are not with one another, they still feel each other through the bond and it helps cement the closeness,” I explained.

“So the stronger the bond, the stronger the urges?” he asked. I nodded. “Your blood is so ancient… her bond must be quite strong. She barely feels like a newborn.”

I felt around the thick tether of our bond. It felt like it could be quite strong. Jane slipped out of the bathroom, grabbed clothes, and then quickly went back into the bathroom as I heard the shower turn on.

“And she has a bond with me as well. She may be quite… needy. What will happen, if she doesn’t have her needs met if she keeps repressing them?” Eric asked.

“What happens if a newborn is not allowed to feed?” I asked in return.

He shook his head. “They will eventually crack, get bloodlusted, and gorge.”

“That applies to her other needs as well.”

“What does that mean?” he asked. “She will just strip and fuck the first person she sees?”

I shrugged. “Possibly. Or she will lock you in her room with her and have her way with you.”

“Now that I wouldn’t mind,” he purred with a smirk, and I chuckled softly at his comment.

The shower eventually turned off and we stopped talking. Jane came out dressed nicely and looking sweet.

“Eric, get showered and dressed, I am going get some things from the nest, and then we will return to your area,” I commanded him.

Eric nodded and got out of bed, swaggering past Jane on his way, and who had drunk enough blood that she brought a blush to her cheeks that spread down her chest. Shaking my head and letting a gentle smile cross my lips at their antics, I dressed and then sat down watching her.

She looked uncomfortable.

“I did not ask if you wanted this,” I told her.

She looked at me quizzically.

“To be made vampire,” I clarified.

Her eyes lit up and her mouth formed into a slight ‘O’ shape. She understood now.

“If you hadn’t I wouldn’t be here now,” she said, and I noticed her use of language. She didn’t say she would have died. She understood, she was dead. She had died. Very few newborns realized it. She was very aware.

“Some people would have preferred not to be turned,” I stated. “You had prepared to die. You gave us your last words as human, had you truly not considered this as a possibility?”

She looked away uncomfortably, and I wished that I knew what she was feeling.

“I never really thought about it. I guess it doesn’t matter now,” she said, and she confounded me.

Eric’s shower turned off and he came out in a flash. “You’re making her sad,” he told me, picking her up and cuddling her to him.

“Why does this conversation make you sad?” I asked her.

Jane shrugged and avoided my gaze. “I don’t know.”

“You did not wish to be turned,” I stated, sighing. This had been one of my fears. Forcing this life on her. She shrugged again. Eric held her more tightly and I knew that I must have made her even sadder.

I made her a creature of darkness against her will. By the gods, I was selfish. She had told me that I needed to give, yet all I did was take, her included. I sighed again. There was nothing to be done for it now.

“Are you packed?” I asked them and Eric zipped around quickly and put all their things away. Rising from the bed with a nod towards the door, “Let’s go,” I said, and Eric carried their luggage down.

We hired a car to take us to the nest. Nearly everything was destroyed in the main rooms, black scorch marks marred the walls. I noticed the spot where Jane had died, the dark stain of her blood coating the carpet. The very last of her human blood. She stared at it for a long time, and then glanced at Eric. He came and held her hand. I felt unreasonably jealous of their relationship. I turned away and we continued on through the house.

“Good thing I left all the important things in storage,” I told them as we picked our way through, much of the art I had displayed had been destroyed. I had told Isabel that we should have blood locked all the rooms, not just our personal quarters. She thought it would have been too difficult, too time-consuming, and who would dare to come to the main rooms of the nest? So foolish. Luckily my rooms were not too damaged, and I was able to gather clothing and my most important books. I slid the portrait Jane had done of me in the pages of a book and packed them into a duffle bag.

“You take this.” I dropped my bag at Eric’s feet. “I’ll take your luggage so that it’s easier for you to carry Jane.” After arranging that quickly, we were in the air on our way to Shreveport.

“Can we go to my house first?” Jane yelled into the wind.

“Too close to dawn,” I told her and she pouted. Such a little baby vamp.

We arrived at Eric’s nest, only an hour or so before dawn. Eric and I could stay up later if needed, but Jane would be out flat quite quickly after the sun rose. I was pleased to see that Eric had biometric panels installed. I had hated those coded locks he had before.

“I’ll have to get Ada out to add you both. I doubt Jane’s will work anymore since her transformation,” Eric said as he let us in. He called out, “Pam, I have a surprise for you.”

Pamela zipped into the room and Eric set Jane down. Pamela looked at her and processed what she saw.

“You said you weren’t going to turn her!” she snarled at Eric in Swedish.

“I didn’t, your grandmaker did,” he replied, smirking.

“What the fuck?” Pamela had switched back to English, and then turned to Jane. “You may be my Auntie by the blood, but you’re the baby around here, got it?”

“I’m glad to see you’re so pleased to add me to the family,” Jane replied sarcastically and I felt a burst of affection for her - I knew that Pam and Jane would eventually be as thick as thieves.

Pamela turned back to Eric and arched a brow as she crossed her arm stubbornly, “You better not stick her with me when you’re bored or busy. And I’m not doing any of the newborn baby lessons with her.”

“Pam. It takes a village,” Eric said. “I thought you’d be pleased. You seemed to enjoy dressing her up like a doll before…” he trailed off. “You’ll probably have to take her shopping,” he tempted her.

Pamela looked at Jane neutrally. “Fine,” she agreed, but I could tell she was pleased.

“Nice to see you Pamela!” I called out to her as she left.

“Lovely, as always, Grandmaker,” she replied over her shoulder.

“The baby is hungry and I could use a snack,” Eric told me and steered Jane into the kitchen. He opened the fridge. “What should she try next, she’s only had O pos right?”

“Give her A pos next, it’s the second most common in the States,” I replied. “What else do you have?”

“All out of AB neg, I was basically addicted to it for a while. AB pos or B neg?” he offered me.

“B neg.” I decided, and he took the AB pos for himself.

He heated them in the microwave together. We waited in silence as the bags spun for a bit.

“I can touch the fridge now,” Jane said suddenly. Ah, Eric must have glamoured her from doing so when she was human.

Eric nodded. “Yes, with permission you may now touch the fridge.”

The microwave beeped and he took the bags out and we went to the living space.

I drank my blood fully, trying to model an appropriate appetite for Jane, and watched her as she sipped hers. I was pleased that she didn’t seem to gorge. She also had an excellent appetite so far.

“When will she do her first live feed?” Eric asked me eagerly.

She looked grossed out by the idea, not elated, like most newborn vampires. Although the only human she had been around was Sookie, and her blood did not smell normal. Jane had been completely cut off from her feelings during most of their interactions as well.

“We can try tomorrow. We’ll find someone clean and suitable at your club,” I mused. I would have to get used to his club. I would need to build up a tolerance to humans and their scents again.

“Do I have to?” Jane asked, with a hint of that newborn whine.

“Jane, feeding is an imperative skill. You will learn to do it,” I told her sternly.

“You’ll like it, baby girl. Once you try it,” Eric said to her flirtatiously.

She still seemed skeptical.

“Time for day rest, you’ll be out in mere minutes anyway,” I told her, grabbed the empty blood bags and threw them in the biohazard bin. Eric let us into the basement and Jane knew right where his room was. I was surprised that he had let her down here, he must have glamoured her well, to let her be in his space of day rest.

As I anticipated, Jane passed out on the bed just minutes after the sun rose, and Eric shucked her clothes off, and changed her into one of his shirts so she would wake comfortably. He placed himself in the middle and I got on the other side of him.

I sighed. I looked over at her smooth young face, especially doll-like in her day rest. What would happen if she could never open her bond to me? It would be so difficult to be her maker and not know what she was feeling. Relying on Eric to tell me would hinder her development and our connection. We would never get to feel bonded as we should. Perhaps this was my punishment. It seemed like it was, this cruel twist of fate. But had I not changed her, she would be gone, and that was a thought I could barely stand. The idea that she would not be walking this earth...I shuddered at the thought.

Was this the best thing I had ever done or the worst?

Chapter Text

Chap 23

Eric’s POV - Saturday, July 25th, 2009 (Night 3)

When I woke from my day's rest, it was to Godric’s silver-grey eyes staring at me.

“You’re up,” he said.

“You were stuck here with me,” I replied, realizing that he wouldn’t have been able to code out from the room.

“It’s fine. I would like out, however,” Godric said. I got up and pushed my thumb against the pad, and let him out the top of the stairs as well.

I went back to bed and laid down next to Jane. I still couldn’t believe that she was here, and turned too. I looked away from her. I needed to focus on how I would tell Godric about my problem with the Queen. I had acquiesced to her demand to sell the sacred blood, and I knew Godric would not be pleased. Not at all. I was in a precarious position - it was dangerous for our family. If the Magister got wind of it...Perhaps Godric would be able to help me figure out what to do? I would come before him, humble.

“You’re worried,” Jane’s voice said, almost startling me. I hadn’t realized that she was awake. “I feel it like a thousand insects walking across my skin.”

My eyes darted over to her form, and I frowned slightly. She was so sensitive to emotions, especially mine, due to our bond. I would have to be more careful in the future and make sure I didn’t overwhelm her. I tried to settle myself so as not to make her feel my emotions so keenly. I reached for her in the bond, and I felt a rising lust that she was tamping down. “Jane…” I started to try to talk to her about it, and she got out of bed. Clearly, she didn’t want to deal with her feelings.

“Let me out,” she demanded petulantly.

“You need to meet your needs. I can help if you wish, or you can do it yourself, but it’s not healthy to suppress your feelings,” I told her.

“I’m fine. Let me out,” she said again.

“Jane.” I went over and turned her, so she had to face me. “I know what you feel. You can’t lie to me about it.”

She crossed her arms. “Just because you know what I feel doesn’t mean you know what I think,” she snapped. “Let me out.”

I sighed. “This is not a matter of what you think. It’s about your basic needs. You need to rest during the day, you need to feed on human blood, and you need to see to your basic instinctual sexual urges.”

Suddenly, without any warning, she snapped the bond between us closed, and I lost her.

“Jane!” I gasped at the pain I felt at the snap like the most important door in the world slammed in my face.

“Yes,” she said, and her zombie persona was back.

“Let me back in,” I begged her. Jane tilted her head and sat down. She couldn’t. She was stuck. Fuck. I pushed her too hard.

I opened the door. “Come with me,” I told her, and she followed me like a robot. Godric was sitting on the couch, and the moment he saw us, he knew something happened.

“What did you do?” he growled.

I sat her on the couch next to me and put my head in my hands. “I pushed her too hard. I was trying to convince her to care for her sexual needs. She snapped the bond close,” I admitted to him.

“Dammit, Eric!” He stood up and started pacing. “You know how impulsive newborns can be; she probably didn’t even mean to.”

That’s true. Fuck.

“How do we get her to open it up again?” I asked.

He shook his head. “We ask Sookie to come to steal some of your blood again?” he suggested ridiculously, raising a single eyebrow. Sookie was a little parasite. Perhaps that was unfair; she was a useful little parasite.

Pam came out and took in Jane’s near-catatonic appearance. “What the fuck?” She waved her hand in front of Jane’s face.

“Jane has the power to close off her bonds. When she does, she loses her ability to care or want for anything,” Godric explained.

“Well, it’s not an improvement, but she is quieter this way,” Pam said sassily, and then she touched the side of Jane's face, and Jane writhed and screamed. I felt worry blast down the bond from her. I could tell from his expression that Godric did too. Pam immediately withdrew her hand, and Jane snapped the bonds shut even tighter as if fearing the sudden onslaught of emotions again.

When Pam touched her, it blew open the bonds? What did that mean?

“Eric, I need your help at the club tonight,” Pam said, and I could tell that she meant she needed to talk to me about what we have been ordered to do by the Queen.

“Go get ready. I will have Jane drink some blood,” Godric said as he walked into the kitchen. Pam gave me a meaningful look before wandering off as well. I went and showered, and changed into a grey suit for the club. When I came out, Jane was feeding from a bag of blood like it was nothing, her fangs not even down. Seeing her like this...it made me feel sick. She finished it and just held it in her hand, uncaring. I took it from her and threw it in the biohazard bin.

“Jane. Go shower and dress,” Godric ordered, and she complied, her eyes blank and staring.

“Are we going to bring her to the club?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes. We need to see what triggers her. Perhaps the humans will trigger her instinct to hunt,” Godric suggested.

Pam came out dressed in red, looking ready to kill. Jane arrived moments later. Her hair was soaking wet, but she had dressed and showered as Godric ordered.

“Ugh. Fine,” Pam said, looking at Jane and rolling her eyes. “Come with me, and I’ll fix your hair. And your face, you look like you’re twelve.”

She followed Pam robotically.

Godric and I sat in silence. We were finally alone, so now seemed like as good of a time as any.

“I have something to confess,” I told him and knelt before him. He watched me with his trademark coolness. “The Queen of Louisiana has commanded me to sell vials of the sacred blood. We have done so at her behest.” I told him, and I watched him process. I feared his fury - Godric would not take this lightly.

“Well,” he said finally. “You don’t have much choice, do you?

I was surprised by his reasonableness, and I wonder how much Jane had already influenced him, even in just these few short nights. Or perhaps it was just that he had weighed all the options, same as I had, and come to the same conclusions. That I was damned if I do, damned if I don’t. If I refused, the queen could have me killed for defying her, and she wouldn’t have to disclose why or how I disobeyed her. If I told the Magister what she asked me to do, then I would be committing treason against my regent. The choice that I went with, selling the blood, was the least grave of all of my options. But it was still a terrible position to be put in. Perhaps if I had not been so worried about Godric, I could have thought of something better.

“We cannot kill her,” Godric said. “I cannot be in a position of power at this time, not with what happened in Dallas and a newborn to care for.”

“We could kill her and install someone else?” I suggested.

“Who would you want to place in that position?” he asked. “I know of no one competent and interested in the New World.”

I shook my head. I wished that Nora wasn’t so wrapped in the Authority. She would have been an excellent queen. And she liked power and politics. Couldn’t she have served the family's interests just as well being a regent? I thought back to all my old arguments with her, the ones that I had tried to bury, but they just kept cropping up.

My thoughts were interrupted when Pam and Jane came out. Jane looked presentable, if a little more made up that she would have done herself, but still with that empty hollow expression. With the way that Pam had styled her I realized she looked like a reanimated china-doll. It was a terrible thought that she could become so numb that she looked like nothing more than a child’s toy.

“Shall we depart?” Godric asked, his face a smooth mask, as usual.

We took the Audi over to the club. Jane sat complacently in the backseat with Pam, and I eyed her in the rearview mirror. How could we get through to her? My grip on the steering wheel tightening, I knew I would have to restrain myself from letting my worry reach Jane for fear of her locking down more.

When we came in through the back entrance, Ginger informed me that Sam Merlotte, the Shifter that owned the bar in Bon Temps, was there and had two human children with him.

Godric, Pam, and I went out, and I saw that Ginger was right. The Shifter was here. Jane followed along behind me and sat next to me, still staring around blankly.

“What is your purpose here?” I asked the Shifter, as he watched Jane closely. Then he started to explain how a creature had overrun the town of Bon Temps. A maenad. He wanted to know how to kill it.

“Why would I help you, Shifter?” I asked.

“Because I need your help. We need it. And hopefully someday. I might be able to give you somethin’ you need.”

So he had nothing to offer.

“What’s wrong with Miss Compton?” one of the tiny humans asked. Jane’s eyes snapped to the little boy’s.

“Ah… well. Looks like she’s a vampire now,” the Shifter said awkwardly.

“Cool!” the little boy exclaimed. “Miss Compton, you’re the coolest teacher ever!”

Godric blanched. “She’s a teacher?” he asked me in Swedish.

“An art teacher. Yes,” I responded.

Jane twitched, and I felt a flicker of something…

“Keep talking to her,” I demanded that the child speak again.

“About what?” The boy tilted his head curiously.

“Anything,” I said.

The little boy blinked up at me owlishly, and apparently didn’t know what to make of that.

“Talk to her about what you did the last time you saw her,” I said.

“Okay. Well, remember when we saw you at the store Miss Compton? I was gettin’ a race car, and you said you liked that it was purple. I told you that purple was my favorite color, and you said yours was the color of the sky.”

The little girl chimed in. “Then we talked about how the sky changes colors, so that way, you get to have a lot of different favorite colors.”

I could sense Jane push my bond open, and her face suddenly bloomed into a gorgeous smile. I tried not to overwhelm her with my relief.

“I remember. That was really nice,” she said, and then her eyes blew black as I felt her thirst rise. “Excuse me.” She zipped away. Her control was impressive. I could feel how desperate she was for blood. The fact that she was able to leave instead of dropping fang and scaring the little humans showed great promise.

“Did I hurt her feelings?” the little boy asked, his eyes wide and round.

“No,” I told him. I looked at Godric. He was trying to remain very quiet and as human-like as he could manage, not wanting to frighten the children. They helped us. We should help them. It would be good to know that the tiny humans could reach her. Perhaps we would need their help again if she reverted back to her numb zombie-like state. “I have no knowledge of this maenad creature, although I suspect it’s the bullheaded beast that passed through recently. Right, Pam?”

“That thing owes me a pair of shoes,” she snarked, and it reminded me that I should let her have the credit card.

“My maker would have known of such a creature,” Godric said. “He did not share this type of information with me.”

Godric so rarely mentioned his maker. I was alarmed that he did so now. I looked over my shoulder at him in concern but he was glancing down the hall, trying to see where Jane was.

“So, can you help us or not?” the Shifter asked.

“I do know of someone who might be able to offer something useful.” I looked at Godric, and he nodded. He knew I meant the Queen. Her own maker was very high ranking and knowledgeable in the Old World and would have presumably much information at his disposal. “Might be able to.”

“Can we see your fangs?” the little boy suddenly asked me. What curious little lad he was.

I flicked them down, and the little girl leaned away, a look of worry spreading across her face.

“Don’t you like vampires, little girl?” I asked her, and Godric glowered at me. He didn’t like me frightening the children.

“Our almost stepdaddy hated vampires, but we don’t. Especially if Miss Compton’s one, she’s really fun and nice,” the little girl said bravely, and I realized that Jane had killed their almost-stepdaddy. I wondered if they knew about that.

“He went on a vacation with Jesus,” the little boy added, and I took that to mean they did not know that Jane was the reason their step daddy was gone.

“You make me so happy I never had any of you,” Pam announced, and I knew then that she was feeling a little jealous of the newborn baby Jane.

“Oh, come on, Pam. They’re funny. They’re like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.” They smelled fresh and lacked pollutants.

“I hate them,” Pam said in Swedish. “They’re so stupid.”

“But delicious,” I added, also in Swedish, and Godric gave me a stern look. It was dangerous to feed on children, despite their clean and fresh tasting blood. They were too easy to kill accidentally.

“So can you call this other person who might be able to…” the Shifter demanded.

“Better yet, I’ll go see her,” I stated. The Queen hated to speak on the phone. She would never give me the information unless I went to see her.

“Eric,” Godric said. “You cannot leave Jane. She will experience bonding sickness in your absence.”

“You can’t go, or you will have to swear fealty to the Queen and declare your intention to live in the state,” I told Godric, and he grimaced. If he swore fealty to her, he would be in the same predicament as Pam and I regarding the sale of vampire blood.

“I can’t send Pam.” I had promised Pam I would never send her to Sophie Anne alone. It was very possible that the Queen could demand to have sex with her. The Queen wouldn’t dare force the issue with me present, but I didn’t want to test it by sending Pam alone.

Jane appeared in the doorway. “Go, Eric. I’ll be fine. Save the town. Please?” she asked me sweetly.

Godric nodded, and I could tell he was worried about her closing the bond impulsively again.

“I must leave right away,” I told them.

The Shifter stood. “No problem. I’ll walk you out.”

“Please get these horrible things out of here. I’ll be smelling them for a week!” Pam grumbled at me as I walked out.

I looked back over at Jane, she nodded, affirming that she wanted me to go. Godric did too. I tried to project confidence so that Jane would also feel it. I would be back before dawn. I walked out to the parking lot with the Shifter and the tiny humans.

“You have my cell number,” the Shifter confirmed, and I had it already in my phone.

“I’ll let you know if I learn anything of use to you,” I told him as I buttoned my jacket to prepare to fly. I leaned down to look the children in the eye. I could see why Jane liked them. They were funny. “Good night, tiny humans,” I said with a wink, and then I shot straight into the air and heard the little boy shout.

“Whoa! He can fly!”

****
Jane’s POV - Saturday, July 25th, 2009 (Night 3)

As soon as Eric left, I regretted letting him go. I immediately felt like a chunk of me was being ripped away. I felt Eric push calm to me fast through the bond.

“Don’t close it,” Godric ordered. “As your maker, I command you, leave your bond to Eric open.”

His command rolled through me and gave me the same disgusted, violated feeling as a glamour. Unable to help myself, I vomited a curtain of blood all over the floor.

“What the fuck!” Pam yelped. “Is that from bonding sickness? But Eric’s not her maker!” Pam shouted.

“They have a bond, Pamela!” Godric said back. “She will still feel the sickness, and his bond is the only one that she can open right now. If she closes it, she’ll return to the state we saw her in before.”

“It’s not Eric leaving that’s causing me to vomit,” I gasped, holding myself up against the wall. “It was the command.”

“Of course it did,” Pam said dryly, then she turned and called out. “Ginger, get the mop!”

Godric gestured for me to sit. “Why would the command make you ill?” he asked, and I laid weakly on the ottoman.

“I have control issues,” I told him.

He blinked slowly, trying to process what that meant.

“She has more issues than Vogue. She threw up when Eric glamoured her too. Not that he did it much,” Pam explained. “I need to open the bar. Can you take Barfing Beauty back to the office?” Pam asked Godric, and he gestured to me to follow him. I forced myself to get up, and I stumbled into the hallway. He grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling, intent on keeping me on my feet.

Immediately I tumbled headlong into his feelings, blowing our connection open wide. He felt anxious and guilty—so much guilt. I was drowning, trying to pull myself out of it. I was bobbing along the surface, barely able to keep my head above the rising tide of his feelings. I felt a wave of fear crush over me, and I was pushed below. Again, I couldn’t feel anything from myself anymore. Who was I?

Eventually, things calmed. I was floating. I was calm. It was peaceful. This was nice.

“Jane,” I heard. “Come back, baby girl.”

What did that mean?

“Jane. You’re calm. You’re safe; come back to yourself.”

I was Jane. I was calm. I was safe. I blinked and opened my eyes. I had both bonds open, and I felt Godric’s joy when he saw me open my eyes. It was blinding, and I noticed that every vein in my body felt like it was on fire. God! It burned, and I ached - my whole body hurt.

“Too much!” I whimpered at him, and I could feel as he tried to calm down again.

“Shhh…” Godric murmured, and stroked my hair as he attempted to soothe me, “It’s okay.”

“Everything hurts,” I told him.

He pushed a gentle wave of soothing at me, and I reached out my bond for Eric. He felt far away and curious about what had happened to me.

“It's bonding sickness. Let me get you some blood. That should help.” Godric started to move away, but I clung to him.

“No. Don’t leave,” I begged.

He pulled me deeper in his arms, and I felt the thick corded connection between us. It reminded me of how doctors explained neurons in the brain, millions of tiny fibers connecting firing simultaneously back and forth. It wasn’t just me anymore. I was him. I was of his blood. I finally understood what it meant to be made by him.

“It’s so much,” I said and felt tears on my face. I wiped at them and realized I had blood on my hands. Blood tears, that’s right. “Our bond.”

“Blood of my blood,” he whispered, and I knew he understood. He rested his hand on my heart, and his accidental brush of my breast ignited a burn of hot arousal through me. Godric gasped, and I saw his pupils dilate wildly. “Baby girl,” he said, “You need care.”

“I’m so scared,” I told him, and I knew he felt that too.

“Tell me what you are afraid of,” he asked.

“Of being hurt,” I said. “My veins ache,” I told him, and I wondered how intensely he felt my pain.

“I will never hurt you,” he promised. “The hurt you feel, I feel as well.”

I knew that. I knew that he could feel what I felt.

“I can’t,” I told him. “I’m broken.”

“Let me touch you, little one. You are not broken,” he said and moved his hands down my waist.

“Please wait,” I asked, and he stopped immediately. I snuggled into his arms, and I pushed the arousal down and away. I refused to feel it. I didn’t want it. I wanted to choose. I wanted it to be my decision. I tried to focus on the corded feeling of the bond, on the connection instead. My body felt achy and weak.

“How long has Eric been gone?” I asked.

“A couple of hours. Let me get you some blood,” Godric insisted, and he shifted me off of him. Then he opened the mini-fridge and pulled out a bagged blood. He heated it in the office’s microwave, and then he pulled me into his lap as he gave me the bag of blood. It tasted good and filling. It made my mouth happy, but my fangs wanted to bite something. I sipped it lightly, trying to savor it and make it last.

“Your control is excellent,” he told me. “I want to have you try a live feed from a human.”

I shook my head. “Please, no.”

“It will make you feel better; it is more nutritious, more satisfying. Your fangs are aching. You need to bite. Just try,” he asked.

Pausing, I nodded, finally conceding to his logic. “No glamouring though!” I demanded, and he nodded. Godric slipped from the room, and I tossed the bag in the biohazard bin as I laid down on the sofa again, exhausted. He came back not too long after with a sweet young woman, probably around my age, her dark brown hair cut into a bob. She smelled nice, like jasmine. Her heartbeat thudded strongly, and I felt her excitement. But when she saw me and how ill I looked, I sensed fear starting to rise in her.

Godric sat next to me. “Jane, this is Alexia. Alexia has agreed to be your first human. I have promised her that she will be safe.”

Her heart pitter-pattered.

“She’s scared,” I told him.

“I know,” he said. “That’s normal. Right, Alexia?” He asked.

“It makes it more exciting? Doesn’t it?” she asked. She moved to brush my hair off my face, and soon as her skin touched mine, I swirled in her excitement and fear in her lust and her self loathing. I hated it. I hated the way she felt, and she was forcing it into me. I felt nauseated again.

“Please,” I begged Godric. “Don’t make me do this.”

He blinked several times. “I’m sorry, she’s not ready. You can go.”

“Okay, maybe next time, when you’re feeling better,” Alexia said, and she left.

Godric and I sat in silence for a long time, and I just rubbed my face against him. I nuzzled in and felt it spring around in the bond. I tried to distract myself from the achiness of my fangs and the pain in my veins.

“How long?” Godric asked me.

“How long what?” I replied.

“How long have you been able to feel the feelings of others?” he asked.

I thought. “Probably my whole life. I only figured it out recently, though. Just before Eric had to complete our blood bond.”

Godric exhaled uselessly. I felt his pensiveness in the bond. “Could you feel vampires' feelings?”

I nodded. “Yes, I didn’t know, though. I just thought I was observant or intuitive. It’s actually messed me up a lot.”

He pondered a bit more.

“Did Eric know?” he prompted.

“No. I just figured it out, and then he was so worried and looking for you… I just hadn’t really figured out a way to tell him,” I explained. “Then I became a vampire, and now I feel... everything.”

“It all becomes heightened,” he said to himself. “This explains a lot.”

“It does?” I asked, and perked up a little.

“Yes. How you are able to close off the bonds, for one.”

“What else?”

“How you saved me on the ridge,” he smiled that perfect mischievous smile.

Smiling at the memory, I focused on that instead of my aches.

“It also explains why you are struggling now. You were sensitive to others’ feelings and your own before, and now everything is heightened. Every emotion, more powerful than before. No wonder opening the bonds felt like too much.”

“They’re both open now. It still feels like a lot. I can’t feel as much from Eric with him so far away.”

Godric trailed his hands on the bare skin of my arms, and it felt fantastic. “You are such a treasure,” he told me, and I felt an overwhelming emotion coming from him.

“Calm!” I shouted. “Please.” Godric froze and took breaths, forcing the overwhelming tide down.

We laid there, and I sucked on my achy fangs.

“Would you like to try biting me?” Godric asked.

“How would that help?” I asked him in return.

He raised an eyebrow. “At the very least, it would feel good on your fangs.”

“Okay,” I conceded, my fangs deciding for me. “How?”

Godric pulled me so I was straddling his lap, and I tried not to think about how sexual it felt. “When you go to bite a human, you should always lick a wide swath of their skin. Our saliva has a numbing agent in it so that it won’t hurt the human as much.” He leaned up and licked my neck, making me shiver and suppress my desire again. “Now, you try.” He tilted his head and offered me his neck. I licked his skin, and couldn’t help as my eyes drifted closed some; he tasted like sage and smoke.

“Mmm...” I purred, and my eyes close fully as I let the flavor ping through my brain.

“Focus,” Godric said, and I forced my eyes open. “Now, the most important part of a bite is where you strike. If you hit a major artery, the human can bleed out. You will have to feel for my veins as my blood isn’t pumping.” He brought my hand to his neck and rubbed my fingers against him. “Do you feel it?” I felt it and nodded. “When you bite, you strike on either side of it. The blood will flow freely so close to an artery. If you were feeding on a human, you would gently puncture, remove your fangs, and then suck at the wounds. With the way you’re feeling now… you don’t have to remove your fangs from me if you can’t. I will heal quickly, and you can’t bruise me like a human.”

I nodded again, my fangs dropping triggering a small smile from Godric.

“Alright, baby girl, go ahead.” Godric tilted his neck again, and I leaned down and licked his skin. I felt him mostly repressing his feelings in the bond, but I still felt his anticipation and excitement, although less strongly. I moved my fangs and pressed them into his neck on either side of his jugular. The sinking in of my fangs against his flesh felt fantastic and extremely sexual. I couldn’t help grinding myself against his lap as I licked his blood that dripped, before I exploded in uncontrollable wild ecstasy.

The taste of him… I couldn’t even explain it. It was a herbal sacred grove; it was smokey grey magic; it was divinity. It was everything. It tasted like truth and safety, and also of adventure and chaos. I couldn’t tell where he ended and where I began. His blood was my blood. I was of him, begat by him, and taking him again lit a thousand million fibers of the bond and strengthened them as if coating them in an impervious liquid.

My Maker.

I opened my eyes, and I was lying on my side on the sofa. Godric was next to me, and he looked… joyously satisfied and extremely pale.

Pam burst into the office and took a whiff, and then trembled, needing to place a hand against the door frame to stay standing.

“Whatever kinky newborn sex rituals you’re doing need to stop. Every vampire in the bar looked like they were about to piss scarlet when the scent of your ancient blood hit the air,” Pam said with her hand on her hip.

Godric sat up and gave her a mischievous grin. “I apologize, Grandbaby,” he drawled, not at all sorry.

Pam raised an eyebrow at the pet name, but I knew she was pleased by it. “Well, good.” She shut the door again.

I realized that I soaked my panties with my release, and that the front of Godric’s pants were damp as well. I shuddered as I flopped my arm over my eyes, certain that my cheeks were flushed from both him and embarrassment.

“When you blush…” Godric started, brushing his hand against the apple of my cheek. He shook his head. “I want to make you all over again.”

Needing space, I jumped off the couch, hands twitching, before I turned back to him. “Did you know that me biting you would... cause that?” I asked, gesturing between us.

He stretched out, looking relaxed. “I had hoped it would help your other needs, yes. I have severely underestimated the strength of your abilities. I hope that Eric did not get wrung out in front of the Queen. You certainly caught me through the bond,” he said, and I collapsed to the floor on my knees.

Godric rushed over to me and picked me up, cradling me gently in his arms. “Shh..what’s wrong?” he asked softly, and I realized I was crying again.

“I don’t like this. I hate this,” I told him, and I squeezed on my emotions, threatening to close them off again. He stilled, and I felt his fear well up between us icily.

“You hate the bond?” He asked stoically, shoving down the fear.

“No. I hate not having any control. I need control,” I told him. Godric relaxed slightly, and rocked me as I felt Eric getting closer. I was feeling less ill as well, and not as shaky. My fangs didn’t hurt anymore, and the closer Eric got, the less my blood ached.

“Eric must be getting close,” Godric murmured into my hair. “You’re feeling much better.”

I breathed out. I was.

“How long does the bonding sickness last?” I asked.

Godric stroked my hair away from my face. “It depends on the age of the vampires and the strength of the bond.”

“So… like a week?” I guessed.

He looked like he would chuckle.

“Jane. I am two thousand years old, and Eric is over a thousand now. You have not one but two powerful bonds forged with ancient and elder vampire blood. It could be a year or longer before it dissipates entirely.”

I thought of that. A year. It would be at least a year before we could be apart without me feeling sick? Then Eric burst in, his eyes wild, and he threw himself on top of us bodily, nuzzling my neck and then surprisingly kissing Godric full on the mouth. My body reacted viscerally to the sight, and my arousal burst forth, and they groaned into each other's mouths. Eric broke the kiss and looked at me intensely.

“It smells like maker’s blood and your release in here. It makes me want to bite you and fuck you,” Eric rumbled.

Immediately I froze.

“Oh, baby girl,” Eric said, and he pulled me to him. Our bond hummed in perfect synchronicity, and my fear dissipated quickly.

“Did you get the information you needed on the maenad?” Godric asked him.

Eric’s irritation rose.

“No,” he growled and looked at us darkly. “No. I did not.”

****
Godric’s POV- Saturday, July 25th, 2009 (Night 3)

When Eric explained how he didn’t get any information about the maenad, and how the queen had threatened him about Bill Compton knowing about the selling of the blood, I knew that we needed to do something. We needed to have leverage over Bill somehow. I thought about it while I heated up another bag of blood for Jane. It had been so long since I had one to care for. I sometimes forgot that newborns required so much blood.

“What a fucking complete waste of time. And it made you ill on top of that. When I felt you vomit, I almost came straight back anyway,” Eric said, holding his little sister in his lap as she tucked her head under his chin.

“That wasn’t from the separation; it was because Godric gave me a maker’s command,” Jane told him.

“I missed her first command?” Eric lamented. “What was it?”

“I commanded her to not close the bond between you,” I told Eric as the microwave beeped. He smiled at me widely. Then he turned to her. “Why did that make you sick?” He rubbed her little belly.

“I don’t like being controlled,” she grumbled and pouted as Eric laughed. “It’s not funny,” she said indignantly. I handed her the bag of blood, and her little fangs came down as she sucked it in. Eric watched her, and I could tell that he would need to go feed or drink a bag himself. With Jane drinking from me also, I would need to feed too. It was hard for me to set a good example for her. There were very few humans I found palatable.

“Eric, would you like one?” I asked, holding up the bag, and he shook his head.

“I’m going to go feed.” Eric looked at Jane. “Do you want to watch? I could teach you some things?” he asked hopefully.

“No, thank you.” She sucked up more blood. “I don’t think I’ll feed from humans,” she said decidedly, and I wondered if this was going to become a major issue.

Eric looked at me pointedly as if to say, ‘Is she kidding?’

“We can discuss this more later. Eric, go feed. If you see anyone that I might be interested in, let me know.” I told him, trying to model healthy behavior for the baby. He nodded, pleased, and shifted Jane off his lap on the couch. Jane continued to drink her blood like a child with a juice box. She felt happy, and that felt right in the bond.

“You need to tell Eric about your abilities when he comes back,” I told her, and she nodded.

“When can we go to my house in Bon Temps?” she asked. “I think you’ll like it. It needs a lot of work, but it’s beautiful.”

“We won’t go there until the maenad situation is resolved,” I told her firmly, and she pouted adorably. Too damn cute for her own good. I needed to make sure she didn’t realize that.

Eric came in, followed by a dark-haired young man with deep blue eyes and a clean B neg smell. “Daniel, this is Godric. Godric, Daniel,” Eric said with a grin. Jane got up and just left. She wasn’t angry or upset. She was… disgusted. I nearly laughed. Daniel let me feed from him, shaking in a mixture of fear and lust, and I felt significantly better. He was nice and clean, and clearly interested in me. I told him to come back, though I wasn’t sure if he would, torn between his interest in me and his own survival instincts. Eric fed from a rather buxom blonde, and he seemed much calmer and less irritated than he had been prior. I would need to make sure that I didn’t neglect him while we cared for newborn Jane.

After sending the humans away, we went out to the bar. It was toward closing, and there weren’t many patrons left. I forced myself to take in their scents, trying to build my tolerance up. I didn’t see Jane out on the floor anywhere, but that didn’t surprise me.

“She’s hidin’ in the stockroom,'' Pam said dryly. I nodded. That made sense. It was probably good to give her some space. She would come out when she was ready. She felt fine through the bond, if a bit pensive.

Eric was sitting on his throne, and I joined him on the platform.

“We need to think of what we can hold over Bill,” I told him.

He nodded. “I had an idea for that, but… Jane won’t like it.”

“Go on.”

“Jane’s house. She won’t be able to stay there anymore anyway, she can’t be parted from us, and the safety of it is abominable for vampires. I figured… we bribe him. Give him the house for his silence. He’ll want to take the deal, it is his family estate, and the house is directly across the way from Sookie Stackhouse’s residence.”

I nodded. It made sense. “That seems sound. Once the town is free of the maenad, we’ll collect Jane’s personal property and offer Bill this deal,” I agreed.

“Jane won’t be happy,” he told me again.

I sighed. “I’ve ordered her to not close her bond to you, so we don’t have to worry about her going emotionless again.”

Eric seemed skeptical about the plan, but it was better than Bill running to the queen or the magister.

The bar cleared out, and I decided I would have to retrieve Jane from the stockroom. She had been brooding long enough, and it was time to return to the nest. I walked behind the bar and opened the door. She was sitting on the floor with her eyes closed, and I could see that she had discovered downtime. Her face was blissful and calm, and she looked angelic. Gods, what a creature she was.

“Jane. Time to leave,” I said to her, and she snapped her eyes open.

“I was… awake, but I was dreaming,” she said in wonder as I pulled her up from the floor.

“You were in downtime. It’s like daydreaming,” I explained.

“Oh,” she said, nodding in understanding.

“What was your first nightdream?” I asked, curious.

“I was on a boat with my friend, and I was sketching the sunset as it fell around us,” she replied, a little wistful. “I guess I will never do that again.”

My gut felt like lead. She hadn’t wanted this life. For her and my sake, I changed the topic. “We are going to the nest, and when we get there, I think you should explain your emotional powers to Eric.”

She nodded, her gaze drifting to the side, “I’ve wanted to tell him for a while honestly.”

Jane and I went out to the back where Pam and Eric were already in the car. Pam was clacking her nails on the window impatiently. Jane got in the back with Pam.

“So, when do I get to take her shopping?” Pam asked eagerly. “Can we go somewhere that actually has good shopping?”

“I don’t have much money right now. I need to save it for my house,” Jane told Pam. “I’ll have a little more in the fall after my teaching job starts.”

Pam gave her a calculated look. Then she looked up at us, and Eric eyed her through the rearview mirror. We had not told Jane of the family’s vast wealth yet. There was much she still had to learn about what it meant to be a vampire, about why we lived where we did, and how vampire politics had dealt us the hand we had now.

“Pam,” Eric said in a no-nonsense tone, “She’s less than a week old,” he reminded her.

“I suppose I could just take her to the mall, get her some basic things to wear to the club,” Pam suggested, and I was thankful that she didn’t overwhelm Jane with other information.

“What is wrong with what I wear to the club?” Jane asked, looking down at her floral dress.

Pam rolled her eyes. “It’s perfectly fine if you’re a human that wants to look like a tasty little treat. But you’re not. Part of Fangtasia is about living up to the expectations of what humans think vampires should be, not what we actually are. You’ll end up with two totally different wardrobes, one for the club, and one of what you actually want to wear.”

We got out of the car, and Pam continued to expand on this idea, and I saw that she enjoyed getting to explain it to Jane.

“I have Ada coming tomorrow night to add us to the biometrics,” I told Eric as Pam let us in. “I texted her earlier.”

“Gideon still needs to come and fix the coded doors at the club,” Eric groused. Pam had taken Jane into her room and was showing her clothes and accessories. Eric and I sat on the couch, and I called for Jane to come in.

“You can talk with Pam more about that later,” I told her. “I think you had something that you wanted to discuss with Eric?” I reminded her. Eric sat up straighter, and Pam got the hint and retreated downstairs.

Jane came and sat nervously on the couch opposite Eric, and I felt the butterflies on her anxiety hum across the bond.

“What is it?” Eric asked, starting to get nervous.

“I… feel everyone’s emotions,” she blurted. “All I have to do is focus on them, and I know what they’re feeling. I can’t stop it if they touch me.”

Eric was stunned momentarily. “This manifested with your transition?”

“No. I had it my whole life. As a human,” she whispered. “It wasn’t as strong then.”

He stood, and he had a look of... betrayal?

“Why?... Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

She shook her head, looking as though she would cry. “I just figured it out. Right before we finished the blood bond.”

Eric sat back down. “Gods,” he said, putting his head in his hands. “You didn’t know.”

She shook her head. “I thought… I just saw things. Little details, like in my art. I had no idea that I actually felt what other people felt.”

Eric was silent for a long moment. “You’ve been conflating other’s feelings with your own. That’s why you didn’t like people.” He chuckled lightly, and grinned at her “Introvert, my ass.”

She giggled too.

“Eric, the implications for her as a vampire… Everything is heightened. All the sensitivity to the emotion she experienced before is increased tenfold. We will need to exercise extreme caution with our own feelings in the bond, and we will have to teach her the tightest control.”

Jane swallowed. “What do you mean?”

Eric took up my thread. “Newborn vampires have already heightened emotions that often make them impulsive. They get angry at someone, and instead of yelling or throwing a punch as they did as a human, they’re literally ripping the person’s head off.”

“Or strangling them with a belt? That’s what Jessica tried to do to her abusive father,” Jane said.

“Precisely,” Eric replied. “You cannot be ruled by your emotions. You will learn to control them,” he told her, and it was a lesson he had been learning his entire existence. Eric was often rash.

“Won’t it make other emotions stronger too? Pleasure? Joy?” she asked.

“Of course,” I replied. “But many of those emotions are rooted in darkness for vampires. The joy of feeding, the pleasure of the flesh. These strong emotions will create just as strong of impulses,” I explained.

Jane thought about our words. She nodded. She needed more time to process.

“Go to ground, Jane. We will be down shortly,” I told her, and she went ahead.

I looked at Eric. He still looked stunned by this revelation.

“The most maddening thing is that it still doesn't explain her at all!” he said, standing up.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I still have no idea what she will do. Or what she wants,” he told me.

Jane. What did she want? I knew what she did not want.

She did not want to be a vampire.

Chapter Text

Jane’s POV - Sunday, July 26th, 2009 (Night 4)

When I woke from my day rest, I was alone. The door was left open so that I could go up and out on my own. I got up and went out to see that everyone else was already up and dressed for the club.

“There’s sleeping beauty,” Pam snarked at me, pleased. “Go shower and get dressed. We have to go to the club soon.”

I didn’t particularly like that she bossed me around, but I supposed that was one side effect of being the baby. I went and showered, and I was tempted to touch myself, but I shoved that feeling down into the tight little box where it belonged. I was in control. I only did the things that I wanted. I got out of the shower and pulled some more clothes from my suitcase that I had taken to Dallas. I liked my clothes, and I didn’t like the idea that I would have to play pretend for the throngs of gawkers and tourists that came to the bar. I was me...I wasn’t some sort of gothic lolita that Pam seemed to think I should become during bar hours, which for me, seemed to be almost all my hours.

I sighed and reminded myself it wouldn’t be for much longer - I would be teaching in the fall. Then it would be prudent not to dress all vampy. When I came out, Pam immediately set me up in her bathroom to do my hair and makeup and started questioning me on how I felt about the transition so far.

“It’s fine,” I told her. “I’m still here.”

She was perturbed, but it didn’t show on her face.

“What do you like best?” she asked, and I struggled.

What did I like best about being a vampire? I didn’t like having to sleep all the time. I didn’t like that I couldn’t see sunlight anymore. I didn’t like having to drink blood. I didn’t like having all of these emotions swirling inside me, trying to control me.

“Umm… I guess the bonds,” I hummed out after a moment. It was the only thing I could think of that had felt remotely right through all this. I thrummed them in my heart, and Godric and Eric sent me back little strokes of happiness.

“Different from your blood bond before, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Stronger,” I told her with a nod. “What’s your favorite thing about being a vampire?” I asked her.

“Power,” she said without hesitation, not even having to think about it.

I didn’t feel like I had much power. I felt very powerless, struggling even to control myself.

“No human will ever be able to hurt you again.”

Well, that wasn’t true. I wasn’t going to burst her bubble, but humans could, and definitely would, hurt me. All it took was a little silver for them to hurt us physically. And emotionally... I wondered how my friend Terry was? I had been thinking of him a lot lately, especially knowing that some monster bull person was terrorizing him and the town. My one friend could certainly hurt me emotionally.

No. I didn’t care much for power over others. It was power over myself that I needed. Control.

Pam finished with my hair, curling it into soft waves. I liked it a lot and thanked her.

“You’re lucky you got turned so young. You’ll be twenty-eight forever,” she reminded me, and I clamped down on my bonds briefly so my sorrow wouldn’t seep out. I would never get old now. Everything that I had told my students about holding my pencil in my old weathered hand was a lie. I pushed those feelings down too. They weren’t productive or useful.

Control, I told myself.

“Yep,” I said blandly.

Pam shook her head at me, and I could sense her confusion about my reactions. I thought I had done a pretty good job of not letting my feelings show. I guess it just came out kind of weird instead.

“Let’s go,” she said, and we went out to the living room. I saw a bit of what Pam meant about club clothes generating a specific look and response. Eric was in a black tee that stretched tantalizingly across his broad shoulders, and Godric’s white v neck dipped to show just the hint of his ancient tattoos. Their clothes enhanced their already seductive forms, but I shoved those feelings into the box as well and focused instead on the bonds. Eric was looking at me, and I could sense that he was pleased that Pam and I were bonding. Godric was watching me with concern as if trying to feel me out.

We took a different car over today, and I wondered how many vehicles Eric had. It seemed kind of wasteful to me, especially since he could fly. I wondered if we were going to drive out to Bon Temps or fly out. I couldn’t wait to be home. I thought about how long it would take me to save to make a secure light-tight basement area. Probably a long time, but I had eternity now. I decided I would call Sookie tonight, even though I didn’t like how she was with Eric, and find out what the maenad situation was.

Entering the club from the back, Pam said some stuff in Swedish to Eric. He looked at her darkly and nodded.

“I would like you to learn to tend bar,” Godric said to me.

I blanched. “Really?” I asked. “Why?”

Godric thought for a moment. “It will be a good way for you to learn to be around humans,” he stated, which I felt was only a half-truth.

“Okay,” I shrugged. “Should I go out there now?” I asked.

Eric gestured me forward. “I’ve asked Ginger to teach you. I know that you didn’t drink much alcohol in your human life, so I would like you just to start by learning from her today. We’ll get you licensed to serve the liquor later.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I took a breath out before I stepped onto the floor. I didn’t need to breathe anymore. I learned yesterday that I wouldn’t have to take in any smells if I just stopped breathing. Eric and Godric went to the throne area. I went behind the bar to talk with Ginger. I realized that I would have to take small breaths through my mouth to do that, but it was better than inhaling the human’s scents. Ginger’s jealousy rolled off her in waves. I knew if I were going to work with her, I would need to clear the air.

“Ginger, how long have you worked for Eric?” I asked.

Her anger burned a bit brighter. “Thirteen years,” she told me resentfully.

“In all that time, did you ever, I don’t know, get blown up by a suicide bomber?” I asked casually, and she stopped.

“What?!? No!”

“Well, that’s what happened to me. I wouldn’t be here right now if Godric, not Eric, hadn’t decided to turn me. I didn’t ask for this, and I want us to be able to work together without you hating me for something I didn’t choose,” I told her softly.

Embarrassment suddenly replaced her resentment.

“Sorry,” she said. “I just thought, ‘cause you and Eric were so close before you left…” she softly trailed off.

“You know what they say about assuming,” I told her kindly, and she smiled in a self-deprecating way. “Anyway, I promise to try not to make any assumptions as you teach me how to bartend. I have basically no experience, so this should be interesting.”

Then we were able to begin. Vampire customers were the easiest, and Ginger let me do all of those. Heat up a Tru Blood, shake, and you were done. The vampires didn’t seem to want to be around me and would skitter off in fear after I handed them their Tru Blood. Most humans didn’t order anything too complicated, a beer, a glass of wine. It was the mixed drinks that I would have to learn. I didn’t serve any, but I watched with interest as Ginger made margaritas and cocktails. I would run the cash register for her because that made it easier for her to make drinks. This was when I had my first interactions with humans since my transformation. I heard their hearts thud as they handed me their cards and money with their sweaty palms.

I determined that I was going to be vegan as a vampire too.

They all seemed disgusting to me, and even though I knew the blood inside them was tasty and nourishing, I couldn’t stand to think of having to touch them, bite them, and feel all of their emotions to get it. Yuck. Eric came midway through the night and asked if I wanted a break. I told him I was okay. I liked having something to do. He pinged me with a questioning feeling in our bond, and I sent him back my affirmation that I was fine.

Eventually, I saw him take a feisty redhead back to his office, and I could feel his delight and pleasure in feeding on her. I wondered if he would have sex with her? That made a strange feeling well up in me, but I quickly squashed it down into the box. He could have sex with whomever he wanted. I wasn’t his keeper, and I had specifically told him that he didn’t owe me his fidelity.

Control, I told myself.

The night wore on, and I actually found myself having a good time. I liked learning new things. I regretted that I hadn’t learned to make more drinks as a human because some looked like they would have been really delicious.

“Can you tell me if you think this mudslide mix is still good? Expiration date says it’s fine, but you can never be too sure,” Ginger asked me, holding out a carton.

I took it, and slowly I brought in my first full scent of the night.

It smelled fine. I breathed out. I felt fine. The humans and their smells weren’t so offensive. Ginger smelled like menthol cigarettes, and it was a bit gross, but I could handle it.

Control.

I told her it was usable and went back to slicing up lemons for her. I happened to glance at the clock and saw it was nearing midnight. I remembered that I had wanted to call Sookie. Eric and Godric were in the office, so I just told Ginger I was taking a break. I still had my crappy little flip phone, and I found Sookie’s number. It rang for a while, but then she finally answered.

“Sorry for calling so late,” I told her right away.

“That’s okay. What’s up?” she asked.

“I was just wondering what the maenad situation is?”

“What do you mean? Bill told Eric about it hours ago. We killed it last night.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“So I bought B neg Tru Bloods for when y’all are out here tonight. I hope that’s okay.”

I guess we were going out to Bon Temps.

“I haven’t had any Tru Blood, so I wouldn’t know,” I told her.

“Oh! Well, it will just be a surprise then! See you soon!” Sookie chirped as she hung up. Shutting my phone, I stood there in the alley for a bit and took a minute to let my mind settle.

I felt my anger rise, but I shoved it down too. Not helpful. I was sure they were going to tell me, and I just had been busy working. They didn’t want to interrupt my flow. I went back into the bar, and Eric found me immediately.

“What were you doing?” he asked, steering me down the hallway. Eric grabbed my hand and led me forward.

“I was just taking a break,” I said as he pulled me back to the office, and the bond crackled where our fingers met. Mmm.

“How many personal items do you have at your house?” Godric asked me when we walked in. Eric was nuzzling my neck, and it made me want to purr in contentment.

“Clothes, art supplies, I guess I won’t need any of my kitchen stuff anymore.” It would make sense to move my things out of my house. It’s not like we could stay there until I got the light-tight area made.

“Decidedly not,” Godric said. “Will it all fit in the back of an SUV?”

I nodded.

“Very well. Eric, go get the vehicle,” Godric ordered, and Eric moved me from his lap into Godric’s arms, and then he departed.

“How do you feel your night went?” Godric asked me as I laid my head on his chest. The bond felt joyous at our closeness. It felt completely natural to snuggle into my maker. I wondered if that was normal. It was strange that although I didn’t really know Godric, even though I felt like I did. Like an Innate recognition.

“It was fine. I like learning new things,” I told him.

He looked at me, and he felt confused.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he lied. “Would you like a bag of blood?” he asked and opened up the mini-fridge.

“Can I wait until we go back to the house?” I asked. I had every intention of drinking the Tru Blood Sookie went out of her way to buy. I knew how much they cost, and even if she rubbed me the wrong way, I wasn’t going to be rude to her.

“You’re not thirsty?” he asked, knowing that I was a little thirsty.

“I’m okay,” I told him, and I nuzzled my face into his neck. A trickle of arousal threaded across the bond, and I released my hold from him and walked away.

Control.

“We are going out to Bon Temps first. We’re going to get your things, and then Eric and I need to have a discussion with Bill,” he explained.

“Okay.” See, I knew he would tell me.

I felt tension from him about something, but I didn’t know what. Eric popped in, and we went and got into the large SUV. I was thrilled to be going to my house. My beautiful house!

“You’re very happy,” Godric stated.

“I am!” I told him, and I leaned up and planted a smooch on his cheek. “I can’t wait for you to see my house.”

I felt both Eric and Godric darken through the bond.

“What? What’s wrong?” I asked them.

“Jane. There are things that I wanted to shield you from because you are so young,” Godric started.

This couldn’t be good.

“The truth is, your brother is in a rather delicate situation. A vampire politics situation.”

I shoved my fear down into the box.

“What does that mean?”

“You understand that each state has a king or a queen that rules the vampires there?” Godric asked, and I nodded. “The regent is very powerful; they command all the vampires of their region. If the queen asked you to do something, you must do it or face charges of treason.”

I wasn’t stupid. I understood where this was going. “What have you been asked to do?” I looked at Eric, and he looked at Godric to confirm he could tell me.

“I have been ordered to sell the sacred blood. It is illegal by human and vampire laws. If I am found out… The Magister will punish me,” he explained. I felt all the emotions I had pressed down careen dangerously as if they were all going to pour out at once. I shoved them all down.

“Not your blood!” I gasped.

“No,” Eric said. I let my relief crash through the bond. “The Queen provides it, and it does not escape my notice that Chow is gone.”

Chow. She was selling Chow’s blood?

“What are we going to do?” I asked.

“Nothing. There is no out. We must do everything we can to prevent Eric from being detected, and we must persuade the Queen to stop this enterprise,” Godric said.

Do nothing?

“To keep Eric safe, we must have leverage over anyone that knows of his involvement with the Queen’s plan. At present, there is only one vampire not of our line that knows.”

“Bill?” I guessed. “Are we going to threaten Sookie because I don’t think that will—“ I started thinking of what Bill cared about most.

“No,” Godric cut me off. “We are going to give Bill something that he wants in exchange for his silence on the matter. If he spills, then we’ll make sure he loses his asset.”

What would Bill want?

We pulled up to my grand old beautiful house. Then it occurred to me.

No.

Not my house.

I looked at Eric and then at the house, and he nodded.

Everything in the box came tumbling out.

There was no control.

****

Eric’s POV - Sunday, July 26th, 2009 (Night 4)

I had been trying to predict Jane's reaction. I wasn't sure how she would respond to the news that we were giving her house away to Bill. Especially after everything she had been through to get it. Several ideas floated through my mind. Would she close her bond from Godric? Get angry and drop fang? Perhaps she would cry and whine like many newborns were so prone to do?

I should have known that I would never be able to anticipate Jane. She was just as unpredictable to me as vampire as she was when she was human. The moment I nodded to her, confirming that we would give Bill the house, I was blasted with what felt like a tidal wave of emotions. Need, disgust, anger, lust, thirst, jealousy, arousal, fear, and sorrow. I was thankful that I had already parked, or I was sure I would have crashed the Escalade. I grabbed my head, the pain from feeling so much from her bond made my head and heart ache.

“She closed me off!” Godric exclaimed. “Gods! What’s happening?”

Looking in the back, I saw that Jane had collapsed sideways and was shaking as if she was having a seizure.

“She’s… feeling too much,” I was able to spit out to him.

She had been repressing everything! It was the only explanation. Godric had set her up tonight to tempt her and to teach her a lesson about control. He hadn’t thought she would make it even the first fifteen minutes with Ginger, what with Ginger’s obvious resentment, but Jane was able to solve that situation quickly. Then he was certain that one of the vampires would trigger her, making her territorial, but his ancient blood made her scent mostly of him, so they were much too frightened to poke at the baby vamp. My thought was that the humans would activate her prey drive, that I would have to go behind the bar and pull her off of one when she got too thirsty. Godric intentionally didn’t have her drink any blood before we left the nest, but she seemed to find all the humans rather disgusting.

Godric had been pleased and impressed by her control, if not also confused. We hadn’t been sure how she had managed it. Less than a week old with such tight control already? It was unusual. However, nothing about her was falling in a typical pattern of predictability.

Now I realized that she wasn’t controlling the emotions. She was repressing them, and they inevitably would all spring back up at a later time. It was a good short-term solution, but it came with the significant backlash of what she and I felt now - which was everything.

Eventually, she calmed. I was finally able to think again, the ache in my head receding. I looked in the back, and Godric was cradling her in his arms, whispering soothingly into her ear.

“Shhh…calm,” he said. I could tell when she opened her bond back up to him because he gasped and spasmed as he held her, still feeling the aftershocks of her emotions. “Eric, come into the back with us,” he commanded, and I moved awkwardly between the seats until I was with them. Godric sat up, her head in his lap, and then moved her legs so that I could sit, placing her legs in my lap so that she was stretched out across us.

I ran my hands down the silky smoothness of her legs, trying to calm and reassure her.

“I’m sorry,” she finally croaked, attempting to wipe the dried blood tears from her face.

“This was the only solution we could think of to keep Eric safe. You understand, don’t you?” Godric whispered to her.

“Yes. I understand,” her raw voice replied. Then because I was touching her bare skin, I could physically feel her repress something in our bond.

“Jane,” I halted my movement. “You can’t repress your emotions or they'll all come out at once.”

Godric gave me a look of sudden understanding. It now made sense to him.

“Your brother is right. It only gives the illusion of control, not actual control,” he told her. “You need to learn to feel your feelings but not act on the impulses they give you.”

“Feeling them is… so much,” she said, and she trembled. It was her sensitivity. She felt everything so intensely.

“We will help you,” Godric said. “Now, feel your feelings about losing your house.”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to feel them.”

“Jane,” he admonished. “It’s fine to feel sad and angry.”

“But if I don’t give up the house, Bill might hurt Eric!” she said to him. “I never want anything to hurt him.”

She wanted to protect me.

“Just because you don’t want me to get hurt doesn’t mean that you can’t be upset about the house,” I told her gently.

“But it doesn’t make sense!” she exclaimed. “I can’t be upset about the solution that keeps you safe.”

Godric shook his head and smiled at her softly. “Emotions are not logic; you can’t reason your way out of feeling them.”

She crossed her arms stubbornly. Godric gave me a look that held both amusement and a well worn fondness Apparently stubbornness was a bloodline trait too...

“I can see you’re digging in about this. We will discuss it more later tonight. Let’s go in and pack up your things,” Godric compromised as he helped Jane to sit up, and I was thankful. I was confident he could have gotten her to break down, but we could wait until we were safely in the nest for that. Jane slid off us and got out of the car, and she let us into the house.

“I guess I’ll just leave all the kitchen stuff. Maybe Sookie will use it,” Jane said neutrally. “Most of my art stuff is still packed. I got out some of my paints, but they’re easy to put away. I’ll go upstairs and do my clothes and personal things.” She zipped right up the stairs, and I saw Godric look around in interest.

“Do you understand it? Why she likes this house?” I asked, looking at the peeling wallpaper.

“Hmm… perhaps...” Godric mulled, obviously in a thoughtful mood as he observed the worn and weathered house. He ran his hand along the banister, tenderly, with the smooth caress of a lover. I was struck, once again, by how similar he and Jane were. Nothing was ever simple with them. It was rooted in layers of meaning and philosophy.

I was eventually able to get Godric to focus on the immediate task at hand though. We found the boxes of Jane’s art supplies and loaded them swiftly in the Escalade. She came down with only a few boxes, and I remembered that she didn’t have many clothes. Jane had washed the blood from her face, and her expression was perfectly neutral. Queen of repressing her feelings, it seemed—ice princess.

“That’s all?” Godric asked, confused. He had expected her to have more material goods.

“I’m leaving the bed. It really goes with the house. I did spend a lot on the mattress, but… oh well,” Jane replied, her tone resigned and flat.

It was almost worse than if she was crying or angry, this acceptance.

“Very well,” Godric said, and we put the last few boxes in the back of the SUV. “The Stackhouse residence is just across the way?” he asked, pointing through the cemetery. I nodded. “Then, we shall walk. Jane, have you tried your new speed yet?” he asked as we started to pick our way through the headstones.

“A little bit,” she replied.

“Use your new speed by running through the cemetery,” Godric ordered her.

“No, thank you,” she replied. Respectfully defiant. Godric certainly was going to have a tough time with her. She was so polite; she almost made it more difficult. Jane was so willful already, and I adored her a little more. Feisty was a good look on her, as long as it wasn’t directed at me.

“Why?” Godric asked calmly, which is not what he would have done with Nora or myself when we were younglings.

“I see more when I go slowly. I like the cemetery,” she explained, and I saw that it was true. Jane’s teal eyes were zooming in on different details; small creases in which grave markers were starting to crumble, sweet white violets that nearly glowed in light of the moon, the way wind would shift and blow the scents of decay, of growth, and of sorrow. All things that she hadn’t been able to notice before, were now laid bare.

Jane welled with appreciation, and it was almost a spiritual feeling when it came from her. How she loved nature.

Godric nodded, and I hoped he was starting to understand her better. I wished I could understand that feeling of reverence she had for this place; this small dumpy cemetery in a rural bumfuck nowhere. We walked the rest of the way in silence, and when we reached the Stackhouse residence, all the lights were on.

The house looked terrible. It was caked in mud and had a disgusting smell lingering about, like rotten meat, feces, sex, and some sort of raw egg. Aware of our presence, Sookie came out onto the porch, all dolled up. Her hair swept up off her neck like she was trying to tempt all of her vampire guests tonight, and her sugar scent permeated the air. Sniffing the air slightly, I finally decided what she smelled like - she was a blonde bon bon. Sweet, simple, and would only be satisfying for the few moments it was on your tongue.

It made me miss the wholesome earthy depth of Jane’s human blood and I only had a brief moment of sorrow that I would never taste Jane as human again. She would still be utterly delicious as vampire, but I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself on her.

“Miss Stackhouse,” Godric greeted her. Bill appeared behind her. “Mr. Compton.”

“Godric, Eric, Miss Jane,” he greeted us in return. Then he nodded to Sookie.

“Won’t y’all please come in?” she offered. We entered her house, and Jane got her first true whiff of Sookie and looked like she might bolt. I could smell her sugary sweet blood, but also a significantly strong dose of Bill’s, and if I really lingered... a tiny bit of my own.

“Eric and I have a proposition for you,” Godric said, and I could tell he was excluding Jane from this conversation so she wouldn’t have to face the emotions surrounding the loss of her house.

“Jessica is in the kitchen. Sookie, perhaps you would be so kind as to take Jane to the kitchen as well?” Bill asked, but it was clearly an order.

Sookie huffed at him, defiant, despite all of his blood in her, but ultimately agreed. Bill gestured us into the sitting room, and Godric started laying out our offer, including a backup plan that would leave his house in bureaucratic red tape and a massively expensive legal quandary, should he try to double-cross us.

I felt some upset coming down the bond, and Godric nodded me away to check on Jane. I went to the kitchen, finding a half-empty Tru Blood bottle. I followed voices and the bond out the kitchen’s side door to the yard.

“Please, Sookie,” I heard Jane beg. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“I just want to know what it’s like?” Sookie pressed on eagerly. “Jessica says it’s amazing.”

I felt Jane trying to shove emotions down, but Sookie kept at her.

“Stop! Asking!” Jane shouted at her. “You don’t want this, I promise you.”

What were they talking about? I walked out further and saw that Jane was attempting to walk away, but that Sookie had grabbed her by the arm next to Sookie’s yellow vehicle.

“Don’t touch me!” Jane struggled, and I could see her trying not to shove Sookie away, afraid of her own strength. I zoomed down to them and removed Jane from Sookie’s grasp.

“Stay,” I told Jane, and then I took Sookie away from her up the steps. I stopped to warn her. “You have no idea what you’re playing with, Jane is less than a week old, and you are pushing her to her limits. She could kill you quite easily by accident,” I warned Sookie.

Sookie was staring at me a bit glazed... then I realized that her chest was flush and her heartbeat elevated. Her eyes dilated. I aroused her.

Sookie batted her lashes at me, and stared up at me with what I assume she thought was an alluring expression. “Interested in my safety, Eric?” she said coyly, and then moved to touch my chest.

Before Sookie could do anything else, however, Jane had zoomed over, her fangs down, and I had to reach out and grab her bodily before she attacked Sookie. Jane was hissing and snarling.

“He’s mine!” she claimed me, and I felt every muscle in my body tense in wildly exciting shock and joy at her proclamation. “Get the fuck away from him!” Jane continued to yell, and Sookie ran inside as I dragged Jane back over to the vehicles. I pressed her against the hood of the yellow car.

She claimed me. My Gods! She was defending me—my shieldmaiden.

“You claimed me,” I rumbled to her. To be claimed by my blood bonded...I had never imagined such pleasure. Suddenly we were kissing. Did I kiss her, or did she kiss me? It didn’t matter. I was sliding my tongue smoothly in her mouth. I was lifting her dress to feel the wetness beneath her panties. I needed her. She claimed me. She claimed me. I undid my belt buckle. Her small hands were grasping my shoulders, and the arousal was so intense. I needed her now. Now.

Suddenly I was being held away from her. Godric had me by the neck and literally dropped me on the ground.

“Eric!” he growled. “What the Hel is wrong with you?”

I took a moment to calm myself, then I felt it, a sliver of fear. I looked at Jane, and she was shaking on the hood of the car.

What the fuck had happened? I quickly buckled up my pants and scrambled to my feet.

“Come. Both of you.”

Godric marched us through the cemetery. I couldn’t even look at Jane. How had I not felt her fear through the bond? Her claiming of me had overruled my sense, my reason. I had been awash in my want of her, my need for my bonded. To be claimed by her! Gods! We reached the car, and Godric got in on the driver’s side, and I handed him the keys and went around to the passenger side.

“Explain,” Godric snapped, and I looked at Jane, hoping she would start.

“I was in the kitchen with Sookie, and she gave me a Tru Blood.”

“Did you drink it?” Godric interrupted.

“Yes,” Jane replied.

“Did you like it?”

“I… didn’t hate it,” she said, and I knew there was more to that.

“I don’t want you drinking Tru Blood,” Godric ordered.

“What? Why?” Jane asked in a bratty tone typical of baby vamps.

“For the same reason that humans don’t let their children eat sugar and other overly processed foods, it lacks essential nutrients, vampires that try to live on that alone will be weak,” he explained. “Now, continue to tell me what happened.”

“Jessica left, and Sookie asked if I wanted to go outside. I thought it would help disperse her scent, so I agreed.”

“What do you think of her scent?”

“She smells sweet and also like Bill... but...” She swallowed. “It was Eric’s blood in her that I was hoping I wouldn’t have to smell in her.”

That was very... interesting. It wouldn’t be able to be scented for much longer. I hadn’t been out long enough for Sookie to steal much. If I had, I would have tried to challenge Bill’s claim on Sookie. Get her out from under his influence. How handy it would be to have a telepathic barmaid.

“Go on.”

“She started asking me all these questions about what it was like to be a vampire. I think she wants Bill to turn her, maybe? I didn’t want her to pester me,” Jane said quickly. “Then Eric came out and led her away, and then she was... flirting with him,” she nearly growled the last part. “I lost it. Eric stopped me...” She trailed off, and I could tell I should take up the explanation now.

“Godric, when she was about to attack Sookie, Jane claimed me. She said that I was hers.”

Godric rolled his head in understanding.

“Jane doesn’t know what she did,” Godric told me, and I felt my stomach plummet. She didn’t understand. Of course not. I was so foolish. She was far too young. I had lost all sense of reason with her.

It didn’t count, if she didn’t know what she was doing.

“Claim? I thought vampires only claimed humans,” she replied, and then I knew what Godric said was true.

“I will explain it more to you later,” Godric replied. He was silent for a long while. This was bad. Typically, Godric would have built up to a full lecture by now. We neared the nest and he started speaking again.

“You will both receive a punishment for tonight’s incident,” he told us.

A punishment? I haven’t been punished in over eight hundred years! And I never even got penalized for the shit that Nora had pulled as a newborn. This was ridiculous! Pam would have a field day!

Jane’s fear spiked across the bond.

“What kind of punishment?” she asked in a small voice.

Godric gave me a cool dark look. It was one that I had seen many times.

“One that teaches you the lesson,” he said, and he got out of the vehicle.

Ada was there at the nest waiting for us.

“About bloody time,” she groused. “I have to get back to Dallas, Isabel is having me set up all the new security for the nest, and it’s a nightmare.”

“I apologize, Ada,” Godric said. I let them all in, and Ada added their blood to the panels. They were both now coded to be able to get in and out of the nest and all of its doors. Godric tipped her several hundred dollars, and she shook her head but accepted. She left quickly.

“Jane. Heat an O pos and go downstairs,” Godric ordered. Jane went to the kitchen immediately and did precisely what he said.

We sat in the living room, and I prepared myself for the lecture. What Godric asked me instead blew me away.

“How would you feel about me opening our bond?”

He had closed it from everything except for extreme spikes of emotion, when he considered me raised, just as I had for Pam. Opening it was like saying I wasn’t fully raised anymore. Did he really think so little of me just because of this one incident?

“You’re going to be feeling all of Jane’s heightened emotions. You’re going to be sending her all of yours. If it were open, I would be able to monitor you both better.”

“Please, Godric. I will be careful,” I told him. I did not want him to have such little faith in me.

He sighed. “If there is another incident, I will open it, regardless of how you feel.” He stood and paced a little. “You know that you forced your emotions on her through the bond?”

I swallowed uselessly. It made sense. I had overwhelmed the bond, and I hadn't been sensing her at all.

“I could only barely feel her discomfort. What do you think would have happened if you had taken her, as you intended?” he challenged me.

I shook my head. I didn’t know.

“At best, she would have succumbed to your feelings, and at worst, it would have felt nonconsensual. I will never let that happen to her. Never again,” he snapped at me. Godric then released some of his all-consuming power, and I cowered. He was so calm these days I had almost forgotten he could be absolutely terrifying.

Gods. I put my head in my hands, and I could feel blood tears well in my eyes. What had I almost done? I could barely stand myself. I hated that I had lost control. Jane affected me so profoundly though... Godric pulled his power in, and I felt his hand come and rest gently on the back of my head.

“Your lesson will teach you that you must control the flow of the bond, that you cannot blast her with your feelings, and make her bend to your will,” Godric said, and it was almost as if he was talking it out to himself.

He walked away then and looked out the window. “She claimed you. Instinctively.” He sighed, and I wondered how he felt about that. “She’s territorial over you, and she’s suppressing her feelings, especially her sexual needs.”

I nodded. It was all true.

“Stay up here, do your Sheriff’s business, and for the Gods’ sake, drink some blood. Don’t come down for at least an hour,” he told me, and then he went down to the basement.

I went to the kitchen and heated up a bag of blood. I sat on the couch drinking, swathed in shame, wondering how I could have let things come to this.

******
Godric’s POV Sunday, July 26th, 2009 (Night 4)

I went to the basement into Eric’s room, and was surprised to find Jane sketching. She was in her little pajamas, a bit of blood at the corner of her mouth, stretched out on her stomach. She moved to close her sketchbook before I could see, but I stopped her.

It was a landscape of a body of water with a dock, the sunrise peeking over the horizon. What to do with her?

She looked at me intensely and then flipped back through her sketchbook and showed me her drawings every several pages. They were all sketches of me. Some just portraits, some that were clearly of us on the ridge. One where clouds surrounded me.

“You were in me before you ever gave me your blood,” she whispered.

This strange creature. I didn’t know what to do with her. How could she see me so well? I felt as if she was living in my blood alongside me. I took her sketchbook away, and I laid with her on the bed. Part of what happened, Eric’s part, was born of her ignorance that I could rectify now.

“Tell me what you know about claiming.”

“Well, when I was human, Eric claimed me as his. It meant that no other vampires could touch me, and he was supposed to keep me safe. I gave him my blood in return.”

I sighed - so she basically knew nothing. That explanation made it sound like a deal. That was probably how Eric had explained it to her.

“As a human, did you ever have an animal companion?” I asked her. Jane tilted her head and furrowed her brow, apparently thinking the turn of conversation was odd but answered it anyway.

“Yes, I had a dog as a child. She passed away when I started high school.”

That would make this easier to explain.

“Did you love your dog?” I asked her.

“Yes. She was a really good dog, friendly and loyal. Her name was Duchess, and she was spoiled too.”

“Did you ever love another human?” I ask her.

“Not romantically. I loved my parents, but they’re both dead.”

The principle was still the same.

“When you say you loved your dog, was it the same in the way you loved your parents?”

She shook her head. “No, I mean. How could it be?”

“That is as close a metaphor as I can find to the difference between when a vampire claims a human and when a vampire claims another vampire.”

I watched the understanding pour into her eyes.

“When Eric claimed you as a human, he certainly cared for you, loved you even, I’m sure. But only in the way we can with a creature we know we outlive many many times over.”

She nodded slowly, understanding dawning her eyes. She understood now.

“When you claim another vampire it is equivalent to professing love, protection, and companionship. Vampire relationships are different from human ones. I may call Eric your brother, but it is only by the blood. He can be all things to you, brother, father, son, lover, husband, partner, master, and apprentice. There are no barriers between you. You can be complete equals. It is very rare for vampires to be blood bound, but not be maker and progeny.”

She processed that.

“You and I. We’re not equals?” she asked.

This would be hard to explain to her in modern terms.

“I am your maker. I will always have power over you. The nature of our relationship will evolve throughout time. Until you came along; Eric and I were more like brothers. When he was a newborn, our dynamic was much more like father and son. There were a few centuries where we were also lovers. But there is always the power dynamic. No matter what, the bond will always favor my dominion over you. It’s pleased when you follow my instructions, and it wants your subservience.”

She nodded; she must have noticed that.

“So when I told Eric he was mine, I told him that I wanted him forever, in all ways?” she asked tentatively.

I nodded.

She let out a trembling sigh. “I don’t know why I said that. I can’t stand Sookie, and his blood in her, and the fact that she wants him...” she grumbled as she ground her teeth a little bit.

“You cannot be territorial over Eric,” I admonished her. “If you had hurt Sookie…” I didn’t want to tell her too much. “It would have been very bad.”

She nodded. “I know. But she gets me the worst.”

Her slip let me know that she didn’t like the idea of Eric with any women, not just Sookie. However, I was sure that it his blood in Sookie that exacerbated the feeling. I let her stew for a while, hoping that she would release some of her pent up feelings.

“Jane. Let’s talk about the house.”

“No, thank you,” she said, and she turned over, away from me.

“You need to let your feelings out,” I told her seriously.

She still faced away from me. “I’m fine. It’s done.”

I sighed - stubborn girl.

“I could order you to,” I threatened her, and fear squeaked along the bond.

“Then do it,” she said sassily, goading me.

“It will not teach you the control you need if I were to force you to feel your emotions,” I explained. “It would help you now temporarily, but it is like the proverb. If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.”

Jane huffed. “I don’t eat or have a lifetime.”

She was acting obtuse on purpose now. “Forcing you to feel your feelings tonight is the same as only feeding you for a day. If you can feel your emotions yourself, you will start to learn the skill you need for the rest of your existence.”

Eric’s head poked in. He waited to come in exactly one hour later as commanded. He was in his sleep pants, and I saw Jane's eyes scan his bare chest.

“She won’t release her pent up emotions,” I told him calmly. “I fear I will have to use a maker’s command to force her to do so.”

Eric laid down next to her, facing her. “It will feel better after,” he said, trying to convince her. “If you let it all out now, then you have control of when you feel it, rather than it hitting when you least expect it.”

“I’ve got it,” she told him. “I don’t need to let it out. I’m not even sad about it anymore.” Eric looked at me over her shoulder. She was trying to lie about it now, which was never a good sign.

“Not sad? About us giving away the one thing that has made you happy since your transition? Is there anything else you even care about anymore?” Eric pushed her cruelly, hoping to get a response.

It backfired rather spectacularly.

“No. There isn’t,” she said, and then with extraordinary power, she defied my maker’s command and snapped both of the bonds closed.

“Fuck!” Eric exclaimed, clawing his chest, feeling the painful sting. “How? How did she close it?”

Jane started to shake and shiver, abnegation sickness settling over her quickly. What a willful creature I had made. I tried to remember when Nora had first felt abnegation sickness. It was several years into her existence before she had even tried to defy my wishes. Of course, Eric had pushed his boundaries against me almost immediately.

“Eric, get the bin. She’ll likely vomit,” I told him, sitting her up quickly. He grabbed the biohazard bin just in time as she vomited up blood.

“Open the bond back up!” Eric pleaded with her. “Stop this, Jane!”

She vomited again.

He turned to me. “Release your command!” he begged.

“No. If I do, then she’ll go back to her zombie state again.”

“If you don’t, she’ll die!” he yelled, and she vomited a third time, a bit of pink foam. She didn’t have any more blood in her stomach to bring up. “Please, Maker.”

I shook my head. His fear would motivate her further. She had to open the bond. She needed to learn to control her impulses.

“Please, Jane. Open to me, even just a little,” he begged her. “Please, you claimed me, and now you’re hurting me. Make it stop, Jane. Just open the bond.”

What Eric said worked; she opened her bond to him again. He pulled her to his chest and cried in relief. I knew that she could do it. I had made her strong, and I was pleased that my instincts had served me well once again.

“Baby girl, don’t ever do that again,” Eric told her seriously, and I saw that he didn’t have the same faith in her as I did.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and then finally, she let all of her emotions out.

Jane sobbed as we held her. She was filled with sorrow.

“It’s so stupid,” she said. “It’s just a house.”

“It’s okay. You loved that stupid pile of bricks,” Eric told her. “You went through a lot to get it. I wish there was another way.”

She rubbed her bloody face onto his bare chest. “It’s not as important as you,” she said, and she breathed out, finally able to calm down.

“Hold on to this moment, right here, Jane,” I whispered in the shell of her ear. “This is control. This calmness you feel now. You felt your feelings. You own this moment.”

I felt her blossom with pride at my words.

“I did it?” she asked.

“Yes, darling girl, you did.”

Chapter Text

Chap 25

Eric’s POV- Monday, July 27th, 2009 (Night 5)

The next night at the club, Godric took my place on the throne. It was an act of power, and it was meant to remind me that he would punish Jane and myself. I saw Jane in the back, still learning to tend bar. Were she repressing her emotions now, I would be shocked, as she seemed to be in a good mood. Godric had fed her two bags of blood earlier this evening, and the only thing I saw her repress was her very obvious arousal when Godric changed in front of her.

I watched with interest as our new dancer Yvetta twirled on the pole in front of me. She was from Estonia, and her diet was excellent. I could smell the fresh scent of her blood from here. I wanted to bite and fuck her. She gave me a lustful, inviting look, clearly interested in me. I licked my lips and thought of what I could do to her. I sighed. Now that I was blood bonded to Jane permanently, I wasn’t sure what I could or couldn’t do. Mmm... that wasn’t quite right, was it? What I should or shouldn’t do, this was more accurate.

Feeling his gaze, I glanced over at my maker. Godric had that calculating look on his face again, and I knew that he had finished devising our punishment. I merely hoped that I wouldn’t be too shamed in front of Pam. She thought it was hilarious that I was to be punished and gleefully delighted in my minor misfortune.

“You’re going to take Yvetta here into the basement and have your way with her until closing,” Godric told me.

“What?” I nearly gaped at him.

“You heard me,” he said in his customary calm tone. “You can go explain this to Jane. She can go with you to the basement, or she can stay in the office.”

“That’s insane! She’ll feel it,” I hissed at him. Jane would know precisely what I was doing with Yvetta in the basement. And with her territorial instincts...

“Of course she will. That’s rather the point, Eric.” He gave me a sardonic smile. “And you will learn to temper your emotions rather than blasting them at her.”

It was a perfectly devised punishment. It forced Jane to get over her territorial stance about me, it would make her feel pleasure, which she was still repressing, and it forced me to learn control over my emotions in the bond.

I had almost forgotten that behind Godric’s young face lay a mastermind tactician. He was quite a devious genius, and it wasn't the first time that his lessons had both impressed and confounded me in their ability to teach me exactly what it was that he wanted me to learn.

With a frustrated growl, I stalked from the raised dais of the bar and pulled Jane into the storeroom.

“Maker has devised our punishment,” I told her, and she sat down on a box.

“What?” She trembled, and I knelt before her to look her in the eye.

“He is going to use the bond to teach us,” I grabbed her hands, threading her fingers with mine. Our bond pulsed marvelously at the contact. What a joy it was to be connected this way. I knew I needed to learn never to abuse this connection— perhaps Godric’s lesson would be a blessing in disguise.

“Teach us what?”

“What we have to learn. I have to learn not to overwhelm the bond with my want.” Jane nodded. We still hadn’t spoken about what nearly happened. How I had overwhelmed her with my want and had been unable to feel her doubt and fear. “You have to learn to let your arousal in and to not feel so territorial over me.”

Jane shivered and worried that plush lower lip of hers with her teeth, a nervous habit of hers that I found utterly distracting. “How can he teach us that?”

“He’s ordered me to take the new dancer to the basement and have sex with her until closing,” I told Jane bluntly, and she gasped. “You can come with me, or you can be in the office,” I explained.

“I’ll feel…” Jane trailed off as she figured out what would happen; her teal eyes widened in disbelief.

“Whatever happens, don’t close your bond to me. If you defy his command again…” I didn't finish. That was probably one of the more terrifying experiences of my existence. I wasn’t sure if Godric would lift the command. He was mercurial at the best of times, and I wasn’t sure how far he would have let her abnegation sickness go.

“I won’t close it,” Jane promised me. “But I can’t be in the basement. I don’t think I can watch.” She looked nauseated at the thought.

“Go to the office then,” I told Jane gently, pulling her to her feet. Then she surprised me. She stood on the crate she had been sitting on and threaded her hands around my neck. Suddenly she was kissing me deeply and fully, her soft pert mouth pressed against mine, already opening to me. I kissed her back, and I felt her fingers thread through my hair. Our bond was jubilant at this contact and was begging for more. Gods, she felt fantastic; I wanted her. Badly.

“Eric,” Jane whispered as she broke the kiss. “I am sorry.”

What was she apologizing for now?

“That you have to do this because of me,” she added.

“It will be well. I'll temper my feelings through the bond,” I told her, and she nodded and slipped out of the room.

When I told her where I would be, Pam cackled and then grumbled slightly; she had wanted Yvetta for herself. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this whole process. On the one hand, I knew that Godric knew me well; he could tell that I was interested in Yvetta, both her blood and body. He also knew that she was interested in me, or he would not have suggested this course of action. I realized that my hesitation stemmed from my fears about how this would impact Jane; I knew how deeply she cared for me. No, this would serve us both well. Jane’s territorial stance around me was dangerous, and if she went too far, she could end up before the Magister herself.

I needed only to crook my finger to convince Yvetta to come with me to the basement dungeon. Watching her long wavy hair sway over her corset-clad body made me begin to feel excited about this punishment… and then I realized that was Godric’s intention all along. When we reached the basement, I was pleased to remember that I had ordered Pam to clean up the remaining blood spilled down here. There was still a lingering disgust about the place, but Yvetta didn’t seem to mind - she was too interested in me.

Yvetta’s sly grin and excellent blood enticed me. I was so used to Jane’s shy smiles that I had almost forgotten the charms of a confident, sexually assured woman. After a few assurances that I would take care of her, both in her new role as a dancer as well as in this moment, Yvetta was all too willing to indulge me.

I took her with enthusiasm. I realized it had been quite some time since I fully laid with a woman, meeting Jane had completely knocked me off my axis, and I had a lot of energy to expel. Yvetta was creative, fun, and had excellent endurance—especially for a human. I was able to temper my pleasure along with the bond and feel Jane’s in return. For every orgasm I had, Jane had one as well. It became a rather fun exercise, and I only hoped that Jane would feel that way when this was over. As a vampire, I never ran out of dead seed or stamina, and I proceeded on with my night doing just as Godric asked: having my way with Yvetta.

It had to be nearing closing when I heard Pam’s voice coming down the stairs.

“Sookie, stop. Don't. Come back,” she said dryly with no genuine concern.

“I know he's in here. Bill!” Sookie’s voice called out. She stepped in to see me thrusting at vampire speed, Yvetta holding onto chains in the ceiling as I took her. I had hoped to give Jane one more peak through me in the bond, but it seemed unlikely now.

“Holy shit,” Sookie blurted, looking at my nude form.

“Sookie,” I greeted her, stepping away from Yvetta. “See anything you like?” I teased her. It was always so easy to rile holier-than-thou Sookie.

“I do,” Pam added, eyeing the still nude Yvetta.

“I take it Sookie couldn't be stopped?” I asked my rebellious childe.

“What can I say? She overpowered me.”

“Off you go, Pam,” I dismissed her. “Ask Godric to come down.”

“Fine.” Pam stomped away.

“Sookie, meet my new dancer, Yvetta, from Estonia. Yvetta, meet Sookie, from here,” I said, and Sookie was looking at her as if to determine if she was there of her own free will.

Yvetta greeted Sookie in Russian. That was interesting, I expected her to speak Estonian, but my Russian was better.

“Hi,” Sookie said in response, clearly uncomfortable with my nudity. She was a modern Christian, but I wished she would spare me the puritanical act. Sookie smelled even more strongly of Bill, and I could tell he must have flooded her with his blood after the recent flirtation incident.

“So, what brings you to Fangtasia on this balmy summer night?” I asked her, stepping over into her space and pumping up her heart rate even higher. It was fun to mess with her.

“Bill's been kidnapped, and I think you did it,” she accused me. Bill was kidnapped? Fuck.

“I didn't. Any other theories?” I asked, trying not to alarm her but also get as much information as I could.

“I'm still on this one, thank you very much. Where were you tonight around 11:00?” That must have been the time of his disappearance.

“Here, with Yvetta,” I told her, trying to process. If someone had Bill, they very easily could have pulled the information from him about me and my involvement with the Queen’s less than legal operation.

“Doing this? For the last six hours?” Sookie asked in disbelief.

“You seem surprised. Is Bill's stamina not up to snuff?” I goaded her slightly. I was surprised that Bill hadn’t used sex to control her more. Or perhaps he had tried, but it wasn’t very good? That would not surprise me.

“Tell me where I can find Lorena. If you don't have him, she does.”

“Solid theory, but given the tenor of your last run-in with Miss Krasiki, I think it's better if I dealt with her instead.” The last thing I needed was for Sookie to get herself killed. Her skill was useful, and now she had my blood, I would feel her death. Not pleasant.

“How do I know you will?” she asked me sassily. Sookie’s smart mouth would get her into trouble with vampires. She had no idea when to hold her tongue.

“Because if Bill was, in fact, kidnapped, by human or vampire, I am duty-bound as Sheriff of the area in which he resides to find him,” I explained. “Even if I think he has stolen what is his,” I added. It would be wise for her to know my opinion of what Bill has done to her.

“Then do it,” Sookie demanded and turned away, uncomfortably aroused by me. As she ascended the stairs, she noticed Godric coming down, obviously reminding her of our deal. Scowling back down at me, she continued to stomp up the steps, parting with a snarky retort “By the way, you owe me $10,000,” over her shoulder.

After that, I let Yvetta go. She looked very satisfied and worn out. She passed Godric at the bottom of the stairs.

“What did Miss Stackhouse want?” he asked me, his tone indifferent as he tucked his hands into his pockets.

“She came here thinking that I had abducted Bill Compton. He is now missing,” I told him, pulling on track pants and a robe.

My panic in the bond brought Jane down. She looked wrecked, her hair disheveled, and her makeup smeared. The scent of her release was overwhelming, and it almost disarmed my brain of all other thoughts.

“What’s wrong?” Jane asked, and Godric sniffed her fully, enjoying the scent. He eyed her up and down with a look that I could only describe as… yearning. He wanted her more than I had realized. Looking at Jane, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking or even if she had opened her bond to Godric or not.

“Bill Compton has been abducted,” Godric explained and then turned to me. “Eric, call your contacts, see if you can get more information.”

I got on my phone and called Rubin, my hit-man, tracker, and all-around fixer. I put my earpiece in and paced. I was trying to remain calm, but it was not working. Potential scenarios of Bill blabbing started to swirl and spiral in my brain.

“Bar’s closed,” Pam announced as she came down the stairs. She turned to Jane and gave her a flirtatious grin. “You smell fantastic.”

“Pamela,” Godric admonished my childe, and rightfully so. Jane was hardly ready for the attentions of Mistress Pamela.

Godric proceeded to explain to Pam why Sookie was here as I ordered Rubin to find Bill Compton. Rubin dared to complain that the sun would be up soon, and I forcefully recommended that he get a daywalker he could trust. Was everyone so fucking incompetent?!

“Find him!” I snarled, and I hung up the phone. My anger was lashing out. Jane looked like she would cower from the feeling.

“Eric. Calm yourself,” Godric ordered.

“You need to call the Queen,” Pam stated.

I turned and looked at her. “The Queen is the last person we need finding out about this.”

“You’re not the only one whose fate hangs in the balance here,” Pam replied, gesturing to herself, Godric, and Jane.

“And what do you think the Queen will do if I tell her I’ve lost the one vampire who could link her to the dealing of vampire blood?” I asked her rhetorically. “And that I have no idea where he is?”

“And what do you think she’ll do if she finds out from someone else?” Pam retorted. “Call the Queen.”

“There are times when I seek your counsel, Pam. Now is not one of those times.” I turned away from her. I wanted Godric’s ever-steady advice. Breathing out through my mouth, I realized how grateful I was that he was here, despite the danger it placed him and Jane in. I looked at him and Jane. He was whispering in her ear, trying to soothe her from my rage. Jane looked like she had opened the bond to him? But perhaps only just now.

“Fine. I’m going to the nest then,” Pam snapped, and she stormed off.

“Who would take Bill?” Jane asked.

“It could be drainers,” I told her. “We have very little information at this time.”

Jane nodded slowly, still processing, and I was finally able to calm down. I was learning better control over the new bond, and it didn’t surprise me that Godric’s punishment had taught me exactly what he had intended it to.

“We should return to the nest as well,” Godric explained, and he was watching Jane closely. We left Fangtasia and flew to the nest. Godric held Jane in his arms, but I still couldn’t tell how they were interacting after our punishment. My blood let us into the house, and Godric ordered Jane to feed. While she was in the kitchen heating up blood, Godric and I went into the living room, trying to think of what else we could do about the Bill situation.

“Bill’s absence is dangerous, and he could inform others of your dealings. He could be bribed or even tortured to release this information,” Godric paced, clasping his wrist behind his back.

“Hopefully, we will have more information tomorrow,” I sighed out, frustrated that we didn’t have more to go on. Bill fucking Compton, always such a problem.

Godric finally stopped pacing, and we sat in silence. There wasn’t more we could say.

Jane came in, still smelling delicious, her adorable little fangs poking out from her lips as she drank the blood.

“Did I make my point? With your punishment?” Godric asked us.

“Yes, Godric,” I said, but I nearly choked on it as Jane’s fury blasted across the bond.

“Yes, Godric,” Jane copied me, her voice completely neutral, even it felt like she was about to roast us with her anger.

“Jane,” Godric snapped. “I can feel your rage.”

“You said to feel my feelings,” she replied, her voice deathly calm.

“Explain them to me,” Godric demanded.

“I don’t like being controlled,” she elaborated. “I want to choose. I want a choice.”

Godric looked up at the ceiling, praying for patience.

“Do you not feel better now? Having released your pent-up arousal?” he asked her pointedly.

“Respectfully, that’s not my point,” she replied.

I watched as Godric shook his head in hopeless frustration. He didn’t know what to do with her.

“Jane, I want only to help you. I want to do what’s best for you,” he told her sincerely.

She swallowed, and a feeling of melancholy floated out from her. “May I be excused?” she asked.

“No,” he barked. “Tell me exactly what you want from us.”

Jane blanched. That’s not what she had expected.

“I don’t know! But I don’t want to be controlled. I hate being forced to feel things. I didn’t realize it before, but that’s why I spent so much of my time alone. Why I became a teacher, I had authority over everyone in the room. I don’t want things forced on me,” she explained, her sorrow and anger meshing in the bond.

Godric had become impossibly still. The look on his face was haunting. Like she accused him of the worst possible atrocity.

“You may be excused,” he stated, and she went into the bathroom, where I heard her turn on the shower. She tried to stifle the sound, but we heard her crying and felt her sorrow in the bond.

Godric rubbed his face with his hands. “Were you at least able to learn to temper your flow of emotion through the bond?”

“Yes. I rather enjoyed it, to be honest,” I told Godric. “I had hoped that Jane would too,” I said, listening to her tears. Apparently not...

“What do I do with her?” he asked me as he stood and looked out the window into the night. “Jane craves the one thing I cannot give her, the one thing I wish I could.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jane wants freedom. She wants freedom from the demands of the bonds, from our emotions, from the physical tie to us. She wants to make her own choices that will get her and others killed. Jane thinks she can still hold on to her human life. She wants to drink bagged blood, never learn to feed, and return to teaching,” he laid out what he thought. “I think Jane wishes she was never turned. I think she regrets that I even made her. That I took her choice from her. That I forced this life on her.” Godric slumped softly into the chair. “She draws sunsets and has downtime of her human friend.”

I had no idea. Was that how she felt?

“You need to talk to her about this. Or I will. One of us or both of us should,” I said. It was a tough transition, but she was strong. I knew she was capable of adjusting.

Godric looked up at me slowly. “What if I’m right? What if Jane tells us that she doesn’t want to be vampire, that she would rather have met the true death?”

I swallowed. “That’s her choice.”

“What if she wants to stand and watch the sunrise?” he asked. “Would that be her choice as well?”

The shower turned off, and we stopped our conversation. I needed time to process what Godric thought.

“You stay with Jane tonight. I will be in the spare room,” he told me despondently, reminding me very much of how he had been settling into depression over the last century. He zipped away down to the basement, leaving me alone with my thoughts and his words ringing in my ears.

It occurred to me then that it wasn’t only Jane’s existence that hung in the balance here. If she couldn’t adjust... I had no idea what Godric would become.

Jane came out with wet hair and red-rimmed eyes, and she looked especially young to me. “Eric? Can I have another bag of blood, please?” she asked me sweetly.

“Of course. Let me make it for you.” I heated up a bag for her, and she stood awkwardly around as the bag went round and round. The microwave dinged, and I handed the bag to her. Her eyes glazed a little as she sucked the blood down, and I smiled at her tiny baby fangs.

“I’ll meet you downstairs. I need to shower.”

She nodded, and I went and showered off Yvetta’s sweat and scent. Was Godric right? Did Jane wish she hadn’t been made? I pondered on this as I cleaned up and pulled on my sleep pants. I tried to analyze everything that had happened so far to her, and I couldn’t tell. Jane was so young, and she didn’t know what it meant to be a vampire yet. Not really.

I coded into the bedroom to find Jane finishing the last sips of her bagged blood.

“Where’s Godric?” she asked, her fangs still down and the little tube between her teeth as she sucked up the blood.

“He’s in the spare room down the hall,” I told her.

“Oh,” she said. “Godric feels so… guilty and sad,” she explained. “I wanted to apologize to him. I didn’t mean to upset him.”

Jane didn’t even realize the power she had over us, how deeply she affected him. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, in her soft cotton pajamas. Gods, she was adorable. I couldn’t imagine a world without her in it, this perfect mysterious creature. She threw the empty bag of blood in the biohazard bin, and she turned to me, staring at me with her strange aqua green eyes.

“Eric... will you make love to me?” she asked me, and I staggered.

“What?” I asked her, astounded.

“Please?”

She started to remove her clothes carefully—first her top and then her shorts. I was riveted as she exposed each pale creamy inch of her perfect flesh.

“Now?” I gulped. She should feel very satisfied after how much pleasure I had sent her through the bond tonight.

“Unless you don’t want to,” she squeaked, and I felt her doubt flood the bond.

“NO!” I practically yelled, “I will... absolutely.”

I leaned over and kissed her, washing all of her doubt away. I loved the intimacy of kissing her. Her flesh pressed against mine. It was strange comparing her human kiss, so warm and pulsing, to her vampire one. As a vampire, Jane was cool to the touch, but our bond burned hotter and brighter than what we had when she was human. Her being turned… It was like I was able to permit myself to truly love her. To love her like I had always wanted to: with the fevered promise of forever.

As I laid Jane in the middle of the bed, her damp blonde hair fanned out behind her. She looked like a goddess spread out before me. Ethereal and mystifying. How did she exist? I wanted to spend thousands of instances just like this one—her spread out before me, staring into me with that unfathomable gaze.

“We don’t have much time,” I told her. Dawn was too close.

“That’s okay,” she whispered.

I shed my clothes quickly and join Jane on the bed. Her nervousness threaded through her. I kissed her again, and I kissed that feeling away. I trailed my hands over her delightful curvy body, and our bond hummed in sheer joy. I kissed as much of her exposed skin as I could. She smelled delicious, like summer, like earth and roses. And like our maker. That hint of Godric in her blood made her especially tantalizing, almost taboo. I nibbled at her neck, and I got the impulse to bite her, but I resisted. There would be time for that later. Now was the time to make sure she felt good and safe. I slipped my hand between her legs, unsurprised to find her slick with desire. I could feel her becoming more and more aroused through the bond.

“Please, Eric?” she asked me, her hips rolling against my body. “I want you inside of me.”

Gods. How could I resist?

I locked my hips over hers and slid myself through her wetness and against her clit a few times, and the heat of her pleasure bounced into me through the bond. I felt and looked at her for confirmation, and when she nodded enthusiastically, I slid slowly and gently inside of her. I couldn’t help but groan at the tightness. She was so small, and I was not by any means a small man. My cock stretched her, and she mewled, her nails biting my shoulders. I stopped when I bottomed out and waited for her to adjust.

I felt out to our bond. I could sense that it was a lot for her, but she was enjoying it. When it felt like she was ready, I began to move, slow and steady at first, and I watched her face as she took in the sensation of me being inside of her—moving inside of her. The look on her face was one that I had never seen before —pleasure, joy, and just...completeness.

It occurred to me that I had fucked many women, but I had rarely made love to them. That what was happening now wasn’t just an act to be completed or a need to be satisfied, but it was a profoundly personal and intimate moment. Jane was trusting me, and we were connecting. A moment of perfect surrender and trust. To be with her this way...it was an intense feeling that I couldn’t capture in words.

I moved my hand to her clit and touched her lightly, wanting to build her up slowly. Her pleasure at my soft touch was almost tortuous, and I backed off immediately. She was so sensitive. She was getting closer and closer to her peak. I started thrusting a bit more, a little harder. I wanted to come with her; I wanted to feel us echo back and forth against each other in the bond. I brought my thumb to her clit again, moving it as lightly as I could.

“I’m… I’m..” Jane tried to tell me, but I could already tell. I pressed a little harder and thrust rapidly for my own release, and we came together magnificently. I collapsed on top of her, our pleasure ricocheting back and forth. It was wonderfully satisfying. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, and I felt connected to her in a way that I had never felt before. I loved her deeply. She was mine. And Godric’s. Forever.

When I looked down at her, I found that she was crying, she reached up and wiped my face, and I realized that I had blood tears on my cheeks too. This was what she had wanted. She could not have ever explained it to me, but here, experiencing it with her. I knew now that this was what she had needed. This closeness, this depth. Her tears were that of the overwhelming trust we shared.

We laid together in silence, trying to let the moment linger. But I had to know.

“Why now?” I asked her.

Jane smiled her mysterious smile. “We were both so sated from our punishment, and I knew that if we were together now...it was because we both wanted to be together. That we didn’t just satisfy a ‘basic need.’ That it was for us. Just for us, and no other reason,” she explained as she threaded her hand through mine.

We had only one brief second to bask in the glow of that.

Then Godric suddenly burst in on us. Evidently, he had been listening, not that I could blame him. He looked at her like...it was an expression I had never seen before, never in a thousand years. It was startling to realize that I had no idea what he was thinking.

“Is that what you think? That your instincts are not part of you? That you have to fight them to make your own choices?” he demanded to know, his voice sharp.

Jane swallowed and sat up, pulling the sheet up around her. “I don’t want to be controlled. Not by my urges or instincts. Or anything,” she stated stubbornly.

“When you were human, did you fight against your urge to breathe? Did you resist your own heartbeat? Were you ready to go to war with your own stomach when it begged you for food?” Godric had lifted her by the shoulders and was lightly shaking her as if he could force some sense into her that way. “You insane creature! You cannot deny yourself what you need for your existence because you somehow feel it controls you!”

“It’s not the same!”

“It is! Your need for blood, for sex, and for rest during the day is the same as oxygen, water, and food for humans.”

“My body, my choices,” she snapped at him, pulling herself from his grasp.

“Wrong,” he explained darkly. “You’re my progeny, my blood, my choices.”

“Godric...” I tried to interfere. Jane would not take that well.

“Is that why you made me? So I would be your puppet?!” she shouted in anger, blood tears standing in her eyes, and I felt a tremendous hurt from her in the bond.

Godric stopped. “Is... is that what you think?” he asked in disbelief.

She gave a trembling sigh, and I felt a tremendous and overwhelming despair rise in her.

“I don’t know why you made me! You didn’t choose me. You had to because I was dying, and now… I’m just a terrible, horrible burden to you,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry the bomb exploded on me, and you felt you were obligated to make me.”

I was frozen. Jane had no idea—the depth of Godric’s affection for her.

He collapsed to his knees. “My childe,” he said as Jane sobbed more. He crawled into the bed with us and held her as she wept, and then she was out.

The sun had risen and pulled her under.

*****

Godric’s POV - Monday, July 27th, 2009 (Night 5)

I held Jane in my arms. I had already made so many mistakes with her. Eric curled around us, and he looked at her like she was the center of the universe. It was enough to bring blood to my eyes, and I blinked it away.

“Father,” Eric said, and he so rarely called me father anymore. “I don’t think she didn’t want to be made. She just doesn’t understand why she was.”

“I hope you are right,” I told him. “Rest now.”

He closed his eyes and cuddled her back. Gods, they were beautiful. Like two blond perfect indescribable beings. Glorious together. How would I explain this to her? How could I tell her what I had decided for her after that bomb exploded? I thought back to that moment and the events that followed.

I had felt Jane’s pain and sped to her. Her stomach was wretched open, her rare blood spilling everywhere. I leaned over her. She was conscious, but only just. It was evident that she would not make it through the night. I bit my wrist and held it to her mouth. She needed my blood in her heart. She would not turn well without fresh blood in her heart. I was thankful that I had given her so much earlier in the night, but it was no guarantee.

“Tell Eric, thank you,” she stopped drinking to say, her own blood coming out of her mouth.

“You must drink,” I told her. It had to get to her heart.

“I loved our perfect fleeting moment. It was worth everything,” Jane said to me, and I realized that she knew she was dying, that she was trying to give me her last words. That meeting me was worth dying this way? What a rarity she was; she astounded me. I found her intriguing in the extreme. How could she possibly think that?

“You insane beautiful creature, you must drink,” I told her, and I bit my wrist again, more deeply. I spilled more of my blood in her mouth. Eric appeared by my side. His anger was evident, and his eyes were savage with worry and fear.

“She’s dying,” he stated. It was true; her heartbeat had slowed. It was moments from stopping.

“I know,” I replied, and I pressed my wrist to her mouth harder, ensuring a tighter seal.

“You need to ask her,” Eric demanded, and I realized that he had never got her permission to turn her, should she be in the situation we were in now. I had not even thought to ask; I had already decided she was mine. How very selfish I was. “Jane,” Eric called to her, trying to keep her conscious.

“Thank you,” she said to him, smiling mysteriously, her eyes glazing over. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Jane,” I called her name as well, “I am going to turn you. Give me your permission.”.

But there was nothing. Jane’s heart thumped one last time, and then… nothing.

I didn’t get her permission. Could I really do this? A turning without expressed permission? I looked at the chaos around us. There were at least two dead vampires. One was Stan. Eric’s eyes were wild. He swallowed reflexively. I scooped Jane into my arms, and I passed her to Eric. He stood staring at her blankly. I compartmentalized, I was sheriff, I needed to act like it and act quickly.

“Isabel,” I found her. “Who’s dead?”

“Stan, Paulo, Catherine, and two human companions.” She looked at Jane in Eric’s arms. “Excuse me, Sheriff, three human companions.”

I couldn’t stand it. The mere thought that she was truly gone. I could not take it. I was already losing my will to go on.

“Were there accomplices?” I asked.

“Released,” Isabel reported.

“Very well. Call the Hotel Carmilla, have them put extra security in place, and house any vampire or human companion that needs shelter. Put it all on our account,” I ordered her.

“Yes, Sheriff.” Isabel got out her phone.

I looked over at Eric. He had sat down and was cradling Jane protectively in his arms. Jane’s stomach was still blown wide, and it was gruesomely coating Eric’s black shirt. I saw the manipulative dark-haired vampire, Bill Compton, Jane’s ancestor, and Sookie Stackhouse come over to them.

“Oh my Lord,” Sookie exclaimed. “She’s—”

“My condolences,” the vampire said, cutting off Sookie's remark.

“Stay the fuck away from me, Bill. You and your little blood thief,” Eric snarled at them.

I zoomed over. “What is the meaning of this?” I asked, and I smelled Eric’s blood on Miss Stackhouse’s lips.

“I’m sorry!” she squeaked. “I have no idea what came over me!”

Did she drink my childe’s blood without his permission? She had the shaky, twitchy look of a drug user. She was a V addict.

“You have an addiction, Miss Stackhouse. This vampire has been feeding you his blood to control you. I suggest you seek treatment immediately,” I explained to her calmly.

“No! It’s not like that!” she denied. “I was just rattled by the blast. My face was already right there. It was just an instinct.”

“Believe what you will,” I told her. Bill Compton had pulled her away and spoke to her very rapidly, lying mostly, about how she wasn’t addicted.

“If you won’t turn her, I will try,” Eric said softly, holding Jane's body. Her head lolled out over his arm disturbingly. It was unsettling seeing her like this. I felt around our empty bond. It brought me comfort, its presence. Eric’s blood was not in her heart; it was my blood. He could not turn her.

Isabel came up to me. “It is done, Sheriff,” she said.

“Everyone, your attention,” I said, and through the chaos, some people couldn’t hear.

“Hey, listen up!” Jason Stackhouse yelled loudly. I liked the handsome young man. I found him simple and his blood interesting.

“They may come back. Go to the Hotel Carmilla; they’ve been alerted, security is in place,” I announced. Then I turn to Isabel.

“Isabel, I need you to be acting Sheriff for the rest of tonight and probably much of tomorrow,” I told her.

“Godric, now?” she asked, confused, looking at the mess and chaos.

“Yes. I will be unavailable. I am…” I sighed, and I looked at Jane. My savior. This was destiny. Fate. I had already claimed her in my heart. “I am making a new progeny.”

Isabel was stunned. “You are? Oh, Godric!” She hugged me.

“Yes.” I patted her back, and she released me. “Come to me in Eric’s room at the hotel tomorrow.”

“I will.” Isabel looked at Jane, her terrible condition. “Good luck.”

I went to the kitchen and got every single blood bag available, and I loaded the bags into a large cooler. Where to turn her? My first impulse was the ridge, but I decided that I would not want to sully that place if things went wrong. No, somewhere that was more her. As I walked back out to Eric and I smelled her fresh earthy scent, that clean English tea rose, I knew where to go.

“Come,” I ordered Eric, and we went outside. I flew us to the botanical garden. To the over two hundred varieties of roses.

“Perfect,” Eric agreed as he landed next to me, Jane in his arms. Shrapnel and other bits of debris were working their way out of his body. I had not realized that he was so injured. He waved off my concern, and we proceeded to a hidden back corner. It was completely dark. No one would come across this place or notice that the ground would be disturbed.

“Had you truly never spoken of this?” I asked as I found the perfect spot.

“Once, but Jane said she just had never considered it. She said she liked the way the sunlight made shadows. She didn’t say no, however,” he added, seeing the alarm on my face. I decided that if she had not forbidden it, that I would turn her. I would make her anew, just as she had done for me.

“I will drain her, and then I will heal her open wounds with my blood. I will have to feed again, most likely. I wish I had fed when you had asked me. I hope I will have enough to heal the wound. Then I will feed her as much of my blood as I can. Go get a shovel and start digging,” I ordered Eric.

“Are you sure, Godric? You barely know her. I cannot ask you to do this just for me.” Eric was hesitating, something he rarely did. He was always so sure of himself. Our eyes met, and then I knew that he was thinking of Nora, of her unfounded fears. That I had only turned her for him.

“Eric, I knew the moment I met this woman. I have been searching for her for almost a year. I have waited for her, every night, on that ridge, hoping she would come back. Then to find that she is also yours... it is merely more proof. She is of our blood already.” I swallowed. “I do not know what it will mean. Her having blood bonds to us both. I have never heard of such a thing.”

“It will be well. We are of the same blood,” Eric stated confidently, though it was apparent he was trying to reassure us both.

“She did not have long, and I do not know if she was able to get my blood to her heart. Her pulse was so weak. She may not turn,” I warned him.

“We must try. I have never met anyone like Jane. She will make an excellent vampire,” he stated, and I could tell that it was more than that. His care for her was deeper than he would say, not knowing if she would turn.

“We will try. Dig now, Eric,” I told him.

He started digging, and I bit her neck. It was perverse in many ways, the joy I found in draining her. Her blood was delicious, pure, and fresh, and the roses around us only enhanced her fertile earthy flavor. Her blood was ecstasy, and I gorged. I could not remember the last time I had indulged this way, draining a body empty. I knew I was depraved, the twisted erotic pleasure I received from getting to do this. Her tiny body was nearly devoid of blood, and I had consumed her with a shameless appetite.

Maybe I had known that this was what I wanted from the moment I met her on the ridge. To drink and drink from her until nothing was left. I felt full and warm with her blood in me, it was a strange feeling, and I tried not to think about how pleased I was. It was a very terrible thing; to be so satisfied by Jane’s death.

Eric was digging, making the resting place. When he finished, he came to watch.

“May I have one last taste?” he asked, and I allowed him the final sip of her blood, and we shared a bloody kiss to let her flavor linger. It was almost difficult to stop, her blood was delicious, and I was aroused in a way that I had not felt for a very long time. Full of her blood, I shared a dark knowing look with Eric that reminded me of the many times we had laid together. How I loved it when my fierce Viking would yield to me. Eric was looking at Jane, his lips like wet rubies coated with her delicious blood.

“You’ll taste her again,” I promised. Eric grinned broadly and licked the blood from his lips, thinking of future blood sharing.

I gouged my wrist open and started to pour my blood into her open stomach wound. I did this several more times, and it finally healed, her pale stomach smooth and pristine. It took too much of my blood to heal this massive wound. I needed to have more to make her strong and proper.

“She doesn’t have any scars,” I stated, thinking of when I bathed her. I wondered briefly if she had been untouched before what had happened to her in the church basement. At least we did not have to stretch her hymen. I felt uneasy at the thought, and I knew I would need to ask Eric what he knew of her history later.

“Her body is already flawless,” he replied. “She is completely unaware of how stunning she is.” He stroked her fine blonde hair back.

I drank as many bags of blood as I could. I ran at vampire speed across town and back while Eric waited with her, forcing my body to metabolize the bagged blood. Something about fresh blood made it transform to vampire blood more quickly, but the bagged blood I had to force along. When I returned, I filled her up with my blood as much as I possibly could. I do not make weak progeny. I filled her fully with my ancient blood. She would be a fearsome tiny warrior goddess. It was a deeply profound process, filling her with my blood, making her again. The give and take of the transformation was a much more intimate connection than any sex or lovemaking could ever be. Draining her dry and pouring my blood down her throat… Nothing would ever compare. It was sacred, this transformation.

It was the divine power of creation.

Eric watched with his fangs down. Having him watch meant something too. He had watched as I had made Nora, and he was watching me again. It was comforting and right, having him there. I wished for a moment that Nora was with us, that she could share in this moment too. How would she react to finding out that I was making another?

I massaged Jane’s throat and worked as much blood as I could into her. I did it over and over. It was an exhaustive and literally draining work, but I was not going to do this halfway. Jane would have all of me. I had nearly depleted myself again, and my skin had turned near translucent. I forced down several more bags of blood, racing against the sun.

“We haven’t much time now,” Eric urged me to drink faster, cleaning up all the mess of blood bags, throwing dirt on any of the blood that spilled.

I cradled Jane in my arms. I had poured my heart out of my body into this strange creature, and I was hoping against hope that it would create one of the best things of my existence and not shatter apart into a tiny million fragmented pieces. The risk this was. It was a tremendous and terrifying leap of faith. But I knew she was mine. She had given me salvation; she had forgiven me in my darkest moment.

Eric passed her down to me, and I cradled her in our resting place in the ground. Eric piled dirt on top of us. He patted it down, like tucking us in for the night.

“I will be back at first dark. I must go now,” his muffled voice sounded above us, and I wished that he did not have to leave.

I forced my exhausted body to succumb to day rest, hoping that it somehow aided in the mystical transformation and connection. My last thought before the sun took me was that I had just signed my existence away. It all hinged on what happened to her.

****

When I woke from my day rest, I could tell it was already dark and that the maker’s bond had formed. It knitted tightly and thickly over the bond we had shared before. It felt powerful and strong but empty. I imagined that my blood had become even more potent as I had aged. Jane still rested, her body taking on the transformation. I could smell that her body had expelled the last of her human fluids, and I knew that it would be more frightening for her to awaken with a body next to her. I pushed myself out of the dirt. It fell back down on top of her loosely as Eric’s hand appeared and helped me out the rest of the way. I thought for a moment about unburying her, but I wanted to be sure that she knew what had happened.

I wanted it to be clear that she knew what we had gone through, that this was part of the process as well - being born again in darkness.

“I still feel my bond with her. It feels stronger, different,” Eric told me right away. He and Jane would have a blood bond then.

“The maker’s bond is already in place,” I reported.

I sat and waited as Eric paced. I began to worry. Why had she not risen? It was well past full dark. Something went wrong. I felt blood tears start to form. Would we be stuck like this? Bonds but nothing in them? To have to spend the rest of our existence this way, the constant reminder of my failure to turn her would be unbearable. I felt blood tears fall from my eyes. Gods… what had I done?

Suddenly, the bond was shaken awake, and the first feeling I got from her was… disappointment?

That did not bode well.

In mere moments she surfaced, gasping. She took in everything with her new senses, and I watched her with relief and wonder. She had turned. Gods, I was overcome with joy. She had turned! I felt Eric’s hand on my shoulder as if to hold himself up. She finally looked at us and then collapsed back into the dirt, thrashing and screaming.

Something was wrong, and I was flooded with worry and fear.

“Stop!” she screamed in agony. “It’s too much.” She thrashed.

“It didn’t work,” Eric said, going to her side, alarmed, and he yelled back at me. “She shouldn’t be reacting this way!”

It was the bonds. It had to be. I breathed in and calmed myself. I felt Jane. She was scared— so scared. She didn’t understand what was happening.

“Enough,” I told him.“Calm yourself. She’s scared, she’s feeling both of us.”

Eric managed to calm himself, and Jane was able to stop shaking. She sat up and looked around, and she was confused.

“What happened?” she asked in a small voice.

“I turned you,” I explained softly.“I was not sure it would work.”

“Oh!” she said, alight with understanding, and then I felt her needs rise, both for blood and sex.“Oh,” she said again but more darkly. She was only just starting to understand what it meant.

We had to get her out of the open quickly before she was forced to come to terms with her new nature in a more violent manner.

“We should get you inside,” I told her, and I went to pull her out of the ground. As soon as my hand touched hers, she was thrashing again, and she ripped her hand away.

“Don’t touch me!” she screamed at me, and I could feel her fear building again. This was not normal. Newborns generally ached for the touch of their maker. The bond was usually overjoyed at the closeness. Both Eric and Nora were snuggly little kittens for years after their turnings.

I looked at Eric, and I could tell he was thinking that same thing. Something was wrong.

“Where... where are we going?” Jane asked, standing up by herself.

“Back to the hotel. The nest was destroyed. Do you remember the bomb?” Eric stood too, not touching her. Some memory loss was common, but it would all come back eventually.

“I don’t know,” she said, confused. I didn’t know what to do for her. We had to get her out of the open. We didn’t have time to wait around. A human could turn up, and that would cause all kinds of problems for her.

“I should fly you back,” I stated. “In order to do so, I will need to touch you.”

She nodded, and just as I scooped her up, she lost consciousness. That rarely happened to vampires. I couldn’t feel any emotion from her side of the bond. I had no idea what to do. I was at a total loss. I got us to the alley next to the hotel, and I set her down, not touching her again, as that seemed to make whatever this was worse.

“Jane,” I called her name. Perhaps she could still hear us. “Jane!”

Jane blinked and stood up. She looked around in confusion.

“Where are we?” she asked. Did she not remember where I said we were going? Perhaps she just couldn’t tell.

“We’re at the hotel. Follow me.” I led her into the hotel. We were both still covered in dirt. Eric prowled behind us, and if our appearance wasn’t enough to prevent unwanted attention, Eric’s menacing presence certainly was. Eric told me what room theirs was, so we proceeded to it. The entire time Jane trailed behind me with no emotion. No interest in using her new senses... nothing.

We entered the room, and I watched her for a moment. It was like her entire personality was gone. She was just there. What was the phrase? The lights were on, but no one was home.

“Get in the shower,” I ordered her, and I was surprised to see that she would follow such a command.

We waited until the shower turned on to start to speak.

“Can you feel anything from her?” Eric asked.

“Not anymore. I had felt something in the beginning... but now it’s gone.”

Eric sighed and started to pace. “Is it because of both bonds?” he asked. “Something is tangled?”

“That doesn’t make sense,” I told him. He was grasping.

“Perhaps they’re just settling? She’ll feel something again soon,” he said hopefully—my poor dear boy. It was painful for me to see him so eager. In my experience, newborns that came out wrong never healed. They usually suffered and never became independent.

I shook my head. I didn’t know what was wrong, and with that train of thoughts, I knew I was getting ahead of myself. “Let’s order her some blood.”

Eric made the call for bags of donor blood, and while we waited in silence for a bit, we both thought about what could possibly be wrong. Perhaps she did feel things, but we just couldn’t feel her? It would make her extremely difficult to raise, not knowing what she was feeling… but it wasn’t impossible.

“Let us hope that we just can’t feel her, that she still feels, but we just can’t sense it,” I told him.

“We don’t know anything yet,” he snapped. Then we both stopped when we heard the water turn off.

Jane came out, got her clothes, and went back and got dressed as if on autopilot. It wasn’t like she was making the conscious choice. She was following a routine her body was familiar with. Jane came out dressed, her hair brushed. She looked blank, devoid of all feeling and emotion.

“How do you feel?” Eric asked her.

“I don’t feel anything.” Confirming my worst fear. “I feel nothing.” I looked at Eric again. She was wrong. She came out wrong. Perhaps she just needed some of her needs met, that could stir something inside her?

I was no better than Eric, clinging to even the slightest chance that she was not made wrong.

“Are you thirsty?” I asked, remembering what I felt from her when she first rose. “We’ve ordered donor blood for you.”

“No,” she said robotically. “I’m not thirsty.”

That was disturbing. If Jane could not feel that she was hungry, then she would not survive. It was physically impossible for her not to feel starved right now. My Gods. What had I done? What had I created?

I sat on the bed opposite her. She was lying there, not moving or breathing, just existing. It was terrifyingly tragic. Then the blood arrived, and Eric went and got it. She didn’t even seem to care that there was a human heartbeat thudding loudly at the door. She didn’t even twitch.

Eric put the bags in the fridge and then held one out.

“Will you try some?” he asked her.

She shrugged as if it didn’t matter to her either way. Eric heated the blood up. Hopefully, it would trigger something in her. Her first blood. It was a crucial moment.

“Sit up,” I told her, and she responded to my request.

Eric gave her the bag of blood, and she struggled to figure out what to do. I thought that she might just puncture the bag with her fangs, but the scent must not be tempting enough for her. She pulled the tube loose from the top and began to drink from it like a straw. It was disturbingly human. Her fangs did not drop even as she swallowed and Eric’s disappointed face was like a blow to the gut. She did not have any drive. She drank the blood with the same blank empty face as she had done everything else. It meant nothing to her. She finished. She sat there, holding the empty bag. Did she even feel full?

“How do you feel now?” I asked, hating that I didn’t know.

“I’m fine.” Fine. She was… fine. I looked away. I couldn’t stand that look on her face, like she was just gone.

A knock sounded at the door, and Isabel’s voice called out. “Godric? Eric?” I opened the door and let her in.

“How’s the new baby?” Isabel asked, examining Jane. “Did you just have your first blood?” Her eyes landed on the empty blood bag.

Jane stared at Isabel blankly. Could Jane not even respond? I turned to Isabel, who was looking at me sadly.

“Things are not—“ I started to tell her, but I nearly lost my voice. “Things are not normal,” I told her, couching it as softly as I could. Jane didn’t take any notice.

“We don’t know that yet,” Eric snapped, unwilling to admit that Jane had come out wrong. “She’s still adjusting.”

“I brought you some clothes.” Isabel gave me a bag and shifted from foot to foot, unsure what to say or do, all the while looking at Jane. “We still have to meet with Nan. She’s requiring all of us to attend. She said you could bring your newborn,” she reported to me.

“Very well.” I did not want to bring Jane to a meeting, especially as she was, but I wouldn’t leave her alone either. “When?”

“In an hour,” Isabel explained, and she continued to try to figure out Jane. “In the conference room.”

“We will be there,” I said, clearly dismissing her. Isabel left quickly.

“Jane.” Eric was on his knees before her, trying to stare right into her eyes, as if to see if she was in there. “We can feel you. In the bonds. They’re there, but it’s like nothing is coming through.”

She bobbed her head. She knew that nothing was coming through.

“Can you feel us?” Eric asked.

She hesitated. “I don’t want to know.”

“Why?” I asked. What did that mean? She didn’t want to know if she could feel us?

“I… I was afraid. It was too much,” Jane explained with no emotion, and I picked up on her language. She was afraid in the past.

“Are you afraid now?” I asked her, could she feel anything?

“No,” she replied.

“Reach out the bonds,” I told her. She did, and I was inundated with her emotions. Fear mostly. I was worried for her, she was shaking again, seizure-like, and then she calmed a bit, and all I could feel were my own emotions being reflected back at me, and then she lost consciousness again.

“Jane!” Eric yelled at her. “Jane!”

Her eyes snapped open, and the bonds were empty again.

“Yes,” she replied to the sound of her name.

“You’re back, but you’re numb again.” I sighed. “The bonds are wrong.”

“Okay,” she said with bland acceptance.

Eric switched to Norse. “We don’t know that they’re entirely wrong. She just needs some help.”

“Eric,” I said, shaking my head at his naivete. “You knew that this was a possibility.”

“No. I knew it was possible that Jane might not rise, but this… we can help her,” he pleaded.

“What shall we do to help her?” I asked. “The bonds are essential. She can barely function.”

“You could use your maker’s command to make her feel,” he argued. “It could work!”

“That would not work. You cannot command to feel. You know it doesn’t work that way. It is the flaw of many maker’s. It would no sooner work than a command to love!” I shouted at him.

“You could try,” he argued again.

“Enough,” I snapped. “Feed her again. Let’s see if we can get her to drop her fangs,” I demanded. Eric heated Jane up another bag of blood. He placed it in her hand, and she looked at him with an empty stare.

“Drink it,” he told her, and it was terrible. Jane had to be told to drink blood. She had no survival instinct.

She sipped it through the straw again, like a human.

“Does it taste good?” Eric prompted her.

“It’s fine.”

Eric sighed loudly, frustrated by her lack of interest in the blood, or anything else for that matter.

I left them for a moment to shower. I washed the dirt from my body, and while I watched it swirl down the drain, I tried to think of what I could do. I had no idea. What had I done? What could I do?

Nothing.

I curled myself into a ball and willed myself not to cry. I could not go on this way. This was my punishment. To be given salvation in the form of this intriguing compassionate woman and then for me to drain it all out of her. This cruel twist of fate was no more than I deserved.

Jane said she feared that her memory of me would be ruined if she returned to the ridge - that it would tarnish the perfect memory. How ironic it was that I had ruined her. My one perfect chance-- I had destroyed my one chance at salvation.

I knew what I had to do.

I forced myself up and out of the shower, steeling myself for what would come next.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Jane seemed not to have moved at all. Just a simple empty beautiful shell. How painful it was to look upon her. To see something once so full and vigorous now empty and hollow. Once Eric saw me, he started to question Jane.

“Do you think you can drop your fangs?” he inquired. Jane didn’t know how. “Think of something delicious,” he told her. “Think of Godric’s blood,” he added, thinking that she might think of human food

“I don’t remember.” She couldn’t remember from when I fed her in my cell? How much of her memory was gone? Maybe she was too far gone when I had tried to bring her over. Brain-damaged. What a foul beast I was to have inflicted this on her.

“Do you remember my blood? From when you were human? You said I tasted like the North Sea,” he asked her, hoping that she still had that inside her.

She tried. But nothing happened. Did she even have fangs?

“Use your command and make her drop them,” Eric told me in Norse.

“They have to drop by instinct the first time,” I replied, then returned to English. “Drink the rest. Eric, make her another,” I ordered them, and they both compiled. At least she had drunk enough blood that if something did get through she wouldn’t be filled with bloodlust. That would be fitting, my deranged newborn going rogue in front of Nan. It would be enough for me to be brought before the Magister.

“Are you full?” Eric asked Jane when she finished and moved to feel her belly. Jane was petite, he would likely be able to feel that much blood in her, but she shuddered away from his hand as if it would hurt her.

“Don’t touch me,” she said, but it was still without heat.

Eric was deeply upset. He was so tactile. It was probably painful for him not to touch and cuddle her like he wished to.

“We need to go to the meeting,” I told them, not really wanting to go. “Come,” I ordered them, and they followed me to the conference room. I knew what I had to do. I had known the moment I went to ground with her that if she did not rise right, I would meet the sun with her. What I had done...was monstrous. I took and took, and this is what I had received. She told me to give, and now I would.

I would have to order Eric away. He would understand... eventually.

We entered the large conference room, and I indicated to Jane that she should sit next to me. At the same time, Eric sat across from us on an ottoman so he wouldn’t accidentally touch her. Isabel observed Jane sadly before coming over to question me in Spanish. I wasn’t sure if Jane knew Spanish or not, so I took Isabel by the elbow and led her away.

“What went wrong?” Isabel asked me.

“Her bond is present but empty. She has no feelings, no survival drive. She drank blood without dropping fang,” I explained to her calmly.

“I’ve never heard of such a problem with a newborn,” Isabel said, alarmed. “What could cause this?”

I swallowed. “Jane had blood bonds with both Eric and myself prior to her turning. It is possible that having a blood bond with a vampire that is not her maker... made something not form correctly,” I guessed.

Miss Stackhouse and Bill Compton arrived, and before I could do anything, Sookie had started hugging Jane, but Jane stood and shoved her off her instantly. I was thankful she didn’t hurt her.

“What did you do?” Jane asked her, and it was the first time I heard anything like emotion in her voice.

“What? I don’t know what you’re—” Sookie started, alarmed.

“I could tell. You’re hiding something. Something you don’t want others to know,” Jane accused her. Could she smell the very minute amount of Eric’s blood in her? I could barely detect it with how flooded she was with Bill’s blood.

“Jane. Sit down,” I ordered, and she complied.

Nan Flanagan entered then and started berating everyone.

“Do you have any fucking idea of the PR mess you’ve made? And who fucking has to clean that shit up? Me. Not you, me. I should drain every one of you bastards.”

“Stan went after the church on his own. None of us knew anything about it,” Eric tried to blame Stan, who was conveniently dead.

Sookie’s eyes lingered on Eric inappropriately. It was apparent to me that she wanted his blood again.

“Oh really, because everyone who has met Stan in the last three hundred years knew he had a kink about slaughtering humans. But you, his nestmates, his Sheriff, had no clue?” Nan continued.

“And how were we supposed to know that this time he meant it?” Isabel rightly asked. Stan was always trying to start something.

“Not my problem. Yours,” she said to me, and she was right. Stan had been my responsibility as sheriff.

“Don’t talk to him that way.” Eric couldn’t stand when anyone disrespected me in any way.

“Don’t talk to me that way,” Nan told him flippantly. She turned back to me. “Let’s get to the point. How did they manage to abduct you?”

“They would have taken one of us sooner or later. I allowed them to take me.” No sooner had I spoken my words than Eric stared me down. I hadn’t told him that.

“Why?”

“Why not?” I wasn’t about to tell her my whole botched plan to kill myself.

“They wanted you to meet the sun, and you were willing?” she continued to prod.

“What do you think?” I would keep responding to her questions with questions until she moved on. Eric had figured out what I had tried to do. I could tell from his face.

“I think you’re out of your mind. And then I hear about a traitor?” She moved on quite quickly.

“Irrelevant. Only a rumor, I’ll take full responsibility.” I had to protect Isabel. She would need to take over as sheriff.

“You bet you will,” Nan snapped at me.

“You cold bitch,” Eric said, and I could tell he was getting too worked up about all of this.

“Listen, this is a national vampire disaster, and nobody at the top has any sympathy for any of you.” Nan turned back to me. “Sheriff, you fucked up. You’re fired.”

“I agree, of course,” I conceded automatically. I wouldn’t be around much longer anyway. “Isabel should take over. She had no part in my disgrace.”

“Godric, fight back,” Isabel begged me.

“What are you saying? She’s a bureaucrat; you don’t have to take shit from her.” Eric’s anger was always his biggest challenge, the area hardest for him to control.

“You wanna lose your area, Viking?”

“You don’t have that kind of power.” Eric did not respond well to threats.

“Hey, I’m on TV. Try me.” Nan had more power than I thought. I hoped that Eric saw that too.

“I’m to blame. I should have contained Stan the second Godric went missing,” Isabel tried to protect me in turn. She was truly a loyal friend.

“Isabel,” I stopped her. She needed not to incriminate herself. “I remove myself from all positions of authority.”

“Works for me.” Nan was satisfied with this. Good.

Then Sookie started to speak, and Bill tried to control her. She must have a strong mind indeed for her not to be influenced by his blood.

“Ms. Flangan, Godric rescued me from a really large rapist who probably would have killed me too.”

“That’s lucky for you. I ended up raped and dead.” Jane interrupted, but it was without emotion. No anger or sadness, just… calm. It was sickeningly true as well. How deeply I failed her. There was an uncomfortable silence, and then Nan tried to move the meeting along.

“Moving on.”

“No, listen.” Sookie stood up. “Then he rescued humans in that church plus a whole lot of vampires. You think it’s a PR mess now; it could have been a hundred, a million times worse. You should thank him.”

“For getting kidnapped? For attracting a suicide bomber?” She pointed at Jane. “For creating this zombie? For piss poor judgment? I think not.”

Eric stood and growled. Treating me disrespectfully and calling his sister a zombie, it’s no wonder he couldn’t keep his anger in check. Isabel stopped him before he did anything stupid.

“Eric,” I said his name with a warning tone. There was a moment of tense silence. “It doesn’t matter.” I would be gone soon.

“Tell me about the bombing, please. Every single detail,” Nan said once Eric sat back down.

“A boy walked into the lair. I thought he was someone’s human companion. He made an announcement that he was from the Fellowship of the Sun. Then he detonated the bomb strapped to his chest. It killed three vampires and two human companions.” I explained.

“What happened after?” she prompted.

Isabel took over. “We released the accomplices and did not harm any humans. We alerted the Hotel Carmilla so that we could seek shelter should the human’s return.”

Nan shook her head. “What a fucking fiasco. You’re lucky I don’t send you all to the Magister. Godric, come to my suite to fill out the forms.”

“Soon. Let me settle my new progeny,” I told her, and all the vampires immediately knew that Jane would not see another nightfall. Eric’s eyes darkened with barely suppressed rage. “I also have something to say. I apologize for all the harm I’ve caused, for all of our lost ones, human and vampire.” I looked at Jane. I thought about what she had told me about forgiveness, it wasn’t about if it was earned or deserved, but I felt I should try anyway. “I will make amends, I swear it.”

“Take it easy. It’s just a few signatures,” Nan said, completely unaware.

As soon as she left, we all stood, and Eric was right before me immediately.

“No.” He refused to believe that I had to do this.

“Look at her,” I told him, and he looked at Jane and then back to me.

“You have to listen to me,” he begged.

“There’s nothing left to say.” What else could I tell him?

“There is.” He needed more closure.

I looked at beautiful empty Jane, and then back at my beloved first turned childe. “On the roof,” I told him. I looked at Jane. “Follow me,” I ordered, and she seemed wholly unaware of what had transpired. Or maybe she was aware but just didn’t care.

In Nan’s room I signed the paperwork. I was officially no longer the Sheriff of Dallas. Isabel signed as well, and now it was her responsibility.

“Godric.” Isabel grabbed my arm before we left. “It’s only her first night. You could give it some time.”

I did not know if I could spend more time watching Jane like this. This empty shell. It was horrific what I had done to her. By the Gods, I was selfish. All I did was take… I turned and left, leading Jane up to the roof.

Eric was pacing like a caged animal, waiting for us to arrive.

“She is less than a night old,” Eric said to me immediately.

I scanned the horizon of the city. “One night is enough to know.” I had known that Jane was extraordinary in just one night. That she was unique in a way that I couldn’t even explain. I had thought it was her destiny, that I was her destiny...how wrong I had been, how foolish.

“I can’t accept this; it’s insanity!” Eric raved.

“What we’ve done was insanity. We didn’t ask her. We knew it might not work,” I told him, and gestured to Jane. “She doesn’t belong here.”

“But she is here!” Eric shouted at me. His anger, I never did get him to get it under control.

“It’s not right. She’s not right.” She didn’t turn right.

“You taught me there is no right and wrong. Only survival or death.” Eric tried reminding me of the lessons I had been forced to give him in his youth.

“I told a lie, as it turns out. I would not want mere survival for her.” Jane deserved so much more.

“I will keep you both alive by force,” Eric demanded as if that would be acceptable.

“Even if you could, why would you be so cruel?” How deplorable that would be.

Eric switched to Norse. “Godric, don't do it,” he begged me while swiftly falling to his knees.

“There are centuries of faith and love between us.”

Blood tears pour down his face. “Please. Please. Please. Godric.”

Suddenly, Jane’s voice cut through, Sookie had followed us up here, and Jane had her by the shoulders.

“What did you do? What do you not want me to know?” Jane demanded. Her voice was still off somehow, but it was... something.

We watch her closely.

“TELL ME!” she shouted at Sookie, shaking her again.

“I drank Eric’s blood!” Sookie admitted guiltily.

Jane looked at Eric, and he nodded to her, indicating it was true. She took a breath, and suddenly her face lit up again... was she in there now? Eric looked as if he would cry more blood.

“Did you give her your blood to heal her?” Jane asked as she tripped over to him. She was touching him, he was holding her to him, and she wasn’t shirking away.

“No. The little leech stole it when I was knocked out from the blast of the bomb,” Eric explained to her.

I was frozen next to them. “You can feel her?” I asked Eric. I still couldn’t feel anything from her.

“Yes, she… opened up,” he said, amazed, wondrous. He turned back to Jane. “Open your bond to Godric,” he asked, but Jane's eyes widened, and she gripped his shirt more tightly. “It’s okay,” Eric soothed her and held her to him closer.

“I’m too scared,” she said. “When I opened up before… I was completely gone. I couldn’t feel myself anymore; it was only your emotions in the bonds. I didn’t exist anymore.”

My gods. She had power over the bonds! She could close herself off. When they were both open, she was inundated and overwhelmed. She had closed them to protect herself but instead cut herself off from all feelings.

“Then don’t,” I told her. I could not have her go back to her emotionless state. “We’ll wait.”

The sun had started to come up, just barely, but the baby burned easily. “Oh! It hurts,” she said, and that brought me completely out of my stupor. We went quickly inside with her.

“Are you okay?” Sookie was rubbing her thumb on Eric’s cheek, picking up some of his blood as she went. She was definitely a V addict.

“Don’t you dare!” Jane hissed, her little fangs dropping, and Sookie backed away from Eric, alarmed.

“She has fangs!” Eric rejoiced. It was amazing to see, and she had instincts. Rather territorial ones, it seemed.

“They’re so cute. You have little baby fangs!” Eric twirled her around, ridiculously happy.

“Put your little sister down,” I told him, both amused and exasperated by his antics. I was so very pleased to know that Jane did, in fact, have fangs. “Thank you, Miss Stackhouse; your poor behavior has been the only thing that has been able to break through to her,” I told her, and I couldn’t be more grateful, despite her addict-like behavior. We were indebted to her. Sookie’s blood offense was nothing, not if it meant that it had been able to get Jane to return to herself.

Sookie left awkwardly, and Jane watched her with distrust.

“Time for day rest,” I told them. We didn’t have much time before Jane just collapsed. We went to our hotel room. Eric and I disrobed, and Jane stood as if she didn’t know what was allowed. Eric was in the middle so that he could separate us, should Jane still react poorly to my touch.

“Come to bed, little sister,” Eric said, patting the bed next to him. Jane disrobed down to her panties and put on Eric’s shirt for a nightdress. She got into bed, and Eric cuddled her close.

“Oh!” Jane moaned erotically, and I wondered what was happening. “It’s so much.”

Eric nuzzled her neck. “All of your senses are heightened now. Including the bond.”

She was feeling the pleasure of the closeness in the bond. They had both fallen into day rest as I watched them, wondering how I could be blessed with them— ones that I could never truly deserve.

I wiped blood up from my ear, watching them once again in their rest, still feeling unworthy.

I needed to explain to Jane that I loved her, that she was mine from the moment we met on the ridge. That I hadn’t turned her to be a puppet, or out of some sort of misplaced guilt or obligation. I had turned her for myself because I wanted her, and I always just took whatever I wanted, consequences be damned. I hoped she would be able to forgive my selfishness, that I hadn’t done as she had said.

That all I had done was take.

Maybe she would come to see her turning as a gift. Perhaps in the center of my greed, she would be able to find the beauty of her existence, to know that she was a rare and unique creature.

If anyone could see the beauty in such a selfish act, it would be her.

Chapter Text

Chap 26

Jane’s POV - Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 (Night 6)

When I woke from my day rest, I was painfully aware that I had confessed what I had really thought, sobbed, and then essentially was made comatose by the rising sun. I opened my eyes to find myself still nude, in bed, with Godric. He was typing away on his phone. Our bond was open, so I was sure that he was aware that I was awake, but he didn’t say anything to me yet. I could feel Eric was awake and that he was upstairs.

I turned to get out of bed to get showered and dressed. I hoped that Godric wouldn’t say anything about my outburst. He had been quite patient with me, and I realized I hadn’t made it easy on him. He had waited for me, human me, for so long. I imagined that he was probably disappointed that he had to make me a vampire or let me die. And I wasn’t exactly a model progeny for him either. Nevertheless, I decided that I would try my best to do as Godric asked, even if I disagreed with him. That was probably the best thing I could do.

“Jane,” Godric said as I tried to leave.

“Yes, Godric?” I replied, trying to copy the respectful way Eric speaks to him.

“Please come back and sit.”

I did as he asked. He sighed out, and I could feel him trying to figure something out.

“Before I turned Eric, I had asked him if he wanted to become a companion to death. He was struck down in battle and going to die, so I gave him the opportunity to carry on his life with me,” he started to tell me. “I did not give you that choice.”

I nodded. I knew that. Nothing that ever happened to me seemed to be my choice.

“What would you have said if I had been able to ask you?” he asked, and I felt a great weight behind his question.

I swallowed uselessly and thought back. What would I have said? I wasn’t sure. Could anyone really know what they would decide when they were on the brink of death?

“Honestly, Godric, I have no idea,” I told him. “I don’t know what I would have said. I never really gave it much thought. Becoming a vampire… I never imagined that it would happen to me. It didn’t cross into the realm of possibility,” I told him truthfully.

He sighed again, and I felt his confusion.“How do you feel now that you have been made?” he asked.

“This is my sixth night as a vampire, and I still don’t think I understand it. I don’t know how I feel. I just know that it’s challenging. I don’t think I really understand what it means yet.” I looked up and saw vulnerability in those liquid silver eyes. “But I’m willing to try. I’m sorry that I’ve been so resistant and difficult. My emotions…they’re so strong.”

Godric stared at me. He looked very young and boyish, and for a second, I forgot that he was a two-thousand-year-old vampire. He looked very much like the sad, lost boy I saw sitting on a bench in the woods. The one I was so desperate to help.

“I was very selfish when I made you,” he told me, and Godric’s guilt welled up so powerfully that I gasped. It clung around him so heavily that I felt like I would collapse from the weight of it.

“Godric.” I trembled, and he held me to him. “It’s too much feeling,” I told him, and he breathed slowly for a moment before I felt the emotion subside a bit. I sighed out in relief, and he continued.

“Before our meeting on the ridge, I had been... depressed. Our chance meeting gave me hope. I had hoped to find you again, and when I saw you walk through the door of that basement, I couldn’t believe you were there. The mystery woman I had been searching for.”

Godric gave me his perfect bow-lipped smile, and I felt a glow of warmth. How disappointing it must be for him now.

“What followed was horrific,” he growled, and we exchanged a dark look. I knew now, with my own vampire hearing, that he must have heard everything that happened to me in the basement of the Fellowship of the Sun. “It was my fault.”

“No!” I objected. “It was his.”

“I allowed myself to be captured,” Godric revealed. “I had lost hope again.”

I took that in. Godric had wanted to meet the true death again. I thought maybe he had just allowed the Fellowship to take him because he didn’t hurt humans anymore—that it was just a stroke of bad luck and his principles.

“If I had not been there, you would not have come. What occurred to you...I am responsible for,” he explained. His guilt made sense to me now. He felt guilty about what had happened to me, both my rape and my subsequent death by a suicide bomber. He turned me for his atonement, to try right the wrong he believed he had caused. “Then I found you again. It was more than I could have ever— it felt like a moment of destiny to me. But I did not ask you what you wanted. I just took, as I always have done.”

The sorrow that swelled from him was nearly unbearable.

“You must hate me,” he claimed, and I felt his shame and saw blood tears form in Godric’s eyes.

“I don’t,” I told him slowly. “I don’t hate you,” I sniffed tearily. “I just don’t understand you.”

He looked at me.

“You must think a great deal of yourself if you feel the need to take responsibility for all of that,” I tried to joke to lighten the mood.

Godric shook his head, denying me. It didn’t work. Only Eric could get away with such effortless charm.

“I hoped that you would see this as a gift. Your turning,” Godric told me. “I hope that one day you will. I fear that it will be one more thing that I have inflicted upon you.”

I understood his feelings now, even if I disagreed with them. I understood he made me to try to make up for what he thought he had done. In some weird convoluted way, I supposed it didn’t actually matter why he turned me.

This was what I had now.

I needed to make the best of this and stop trying to resist my new existence at every turn. I needed to try. I needed to let go of my human life. I was reminded of what we had spoken of on the ridge all those months ago.

My human life was a sunrise I needed to let go of. Let it fade away as one small infinitesimal moment of the many millions more that now stretched out before me endlessly.

There was beauty in that, I decided. An eternity fed by blood and spent in darkness. I would take in the blood of the living and use it to create my own infinite existence.

Despite the fact that I didn’t really know him yet, I knew that I never wanted to hurt Godric. And my problems adjusting to my new existence were hurting him. His shame and guilt were suffocating. His pain was my pain, and it wounded me to know that I was the cause.

“I will try,” I promised him softly. “I’ll try to be better,” I added, hoping my tone sounded as confident as I intended.

Godric looked at me, and that raw, powerful feeling that I didn’t understand was blasting from the bond. I felt like I was dying from it. Could I be killed again from this onslaught of emotion? “Godric... it hurts,” I whimpered as I clung to him, shaking, forcing myself to keep the bond open despite the pain of it. What was that feeling? I’d never felt anything like it… it was both terrifying and exhilarating.

The most powerful thing I had ever felt.

“Yes, it does. But it is why I turned you,” he whispered to the top of my head. Godric held me tightly, and I could feel his lips brushing against the crown of my head. I cried out, unable to stop myself from shedding blood tears. His emotions were too strong. I felt him breathe in, and he forced himself to be calm.

The door creaked open, and Eric peeked in; I could feel his curiosity.

“Come in, you big bear,” Godric told him, and Eric did just that. He sprang onto the bed, cuddling up to me too. I felt perfectly content and right at that moment, pressed between them—that this was precisely where I was supposed to be.

“Are things right between you now?” Eric asked us.

“I believe they are,” Godric replied, and I could feel him smelling me. “I have explained to Jane why she was turned, and she has told me that she is going to try.”

Eric kissed Godric then, as if unable to contain his joy, and I felt my arousal rise. Why was that so beautiful? Their bond, their connection, all of it— I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

“She likes it when we kiss,” Eric said in an amused whisper.

“Could be interesting,” Godric told him with a rakish smirk I had not seen from him before. Suddenly my body realized that I was pressed nude between them, and it froze in fear. I had hoped after my miraculous interlude with Eric that I wouldn’t do that anymore. Intellectually, I knew I was safe— but my body still wasn’t entirely convinced. I felt guilty that I wasn't able to stop myself from feeling that way.

Godric and Eric must have sensed my fear through the bonds because they both got out of bed. Slowly, Godric gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, making our bond spark with joy. I realized that he was giving me the space I needed. Eric watched us interact, and he seemed ready to burst with happiness, even if his face showed merely an amused smirk.

“You best get up and get ready to go to the club,” Godric recommended as he and Eric started to leave.

“Okay,” I agreed, but my fangs suddenly dropped with hunger, and I ached to bite something. “Oh!” I said in surprise, and then I wiggled my jaw and was able to force them painfully away.

“Go shower, little sister. I’ll make you a treat.” Eric’s words held the promise of something very delightful so I hopped right out of bed. I pulled on his shirt from yesterday so I wouldn’t be walking through the house nude and jumped as Eric gave my butt a soft swat as I passed him.

“Eric!” I squealed in surprise. Eric had a devilish glint in his eye, like he would chase me if I ran. So that’s exactly what I did. I zoomed upstairs and into the bathroom. He zipped right behind me, and when he caught me, he covered me in tons of rapid vampire fast kisses.

“I win!” he said, and then he was gone.

I shook my head in amusement and got in the shower. I felt the slickness between my legs, and I was immediately aroused again. I would take care of it later. I needed to discuss if touching myself was okay with these kinds of bonds or if I would need to wait to make sure it wouldn’t impact Eric and Godric. I certainly wasn’t okay when Eric was with Yvetta. I washed up feeling happier than I had since the start of my transformation. I would try - I was going to try to do as Godric asked.

When I got out, Pam was waiting for me in her silk lavender pajamas and matching robe in the bedroom. As soon as I entered, she held up an outfit for me.

“No way,” I said when I saw the corset.

“Yes.” She smiled evilly. “You’ll look killer. You have just the figure for one.”

“Pam... it’s not me. I don’t dress sexy,” I explained. I could maybe pull off a sweet kind of sexy, but this… it was way outside my comfort zone.

“Hun. You’re a blonde, gorgeous, forever twenty-eight-year-old vampire now. You’re nothing but sexy,” she tried to argue.

I saw the look in her eye. She wasn’t going to budge on this until I tried the corset.

“If I wear this, you have to let me draw your portrait,” I tried to negotiate.

“Is it nude?” she asked flirtatiously.

“No! Just a regular portrait!” I told her. God! She never stopped flirting!

“Fine,” she agreed in her usual dry tone and wiggled the corset at me.

Pam laced me into the corset, and it was ridiculously tight, but I didn’t need to breathe, so it didn’t particularly matter. She put me in a ruffle skirt, did my makeup to make me look like a sweet gothic doll, and curled my hair into ringlets. I actually rather liked the make-up and the hair, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction by telling her so.

“Oh, you’ll kill,” Pam purred. I felt uncomfortable and out of my element, but I could sense that she was having fun, so I guessed it wasn’t so bad. I was getting so hungry though, my fangs felt a little achy, and I just wanted her to be done so I could get my blood bag.

“Pam!” Eric called from the other room. “Let the baby go. She’s hungry.”

Pam rolled her eyes. “Don’t get all messy,” she warned me. I came out, and Eric had a warmed blood bag in his hand, which he gave to me. I flipped the little tube part and started to drink. Mmmm... so good. I was starving. This blood was particularly delicious, and the texture was amazing and velvety. When I finished, I was hit by a burst of lust from Eric’s side of the bond.

He was looking at my waist and breasts being pushed up high from the corset. He liked it—a lot. But what I liked a lot and wanted more of was the blood he had given me. It was so good! I wanted more. Could I have more?

“What was this?” I asked him, forcing myself to stop drinking to ask.

“AB negative,” he explained, still eyeing me.

“Is this what I tasted like?” I asked him.

“You are even better.” He came around and nuzzled my neck, his fangs brushing dully against my throat.

“Eric, don’t you mean I was?” I asked, trying not to feel disappointed. I had become used to him feeding from me, and now we wouldn’t get to feel that close again.

Eric pulled away from me to look me in the eye. “We’ll have to talk about that more later,” he said, and Godric came in. He looked at my attire blandly, and I began to wonder if he was even attracted to me now, in my vampire state.

“Talk about what?” I asked, trying to get a grip on myself. It didn’t matter if Godric found me attractive, I knew Eric still did, and that was what mattered. Right?

“Blood sharing,” Godric said, clearly listening to our conversation.

Then Pam walked in, not in bar attire, but a nice classy pink outfit, and I was immediately jealous. I pouted at her, and she laughed. “I’m running errands tonight, Sweetcheeks, so I can dress how I please.” She came over and pulled at my bottom lip that was sticking out. “Keep puttin’ that lip out. One of us is gonna bite it.”

“Errands, Pam,” Eric insisted. “Not teasing the baby.”

“Ta,” Pam said with a facetious smile and a little wave.

“We should go as well,” Eric said and gestured for me to go outside. We drove over to the club in Eric’s sports car, and I still felt hungry and a bit pouty. I hated how I felt all over the place, jealous and hungry, needy and selfish - wanting Godric to be attracted to me, and feeling sad about not being able to feed Eric anymore. I didn’t like who I was becoming. I promised Godric I would try and repeated it to myself like a mantra. No more whiny, needy Jane, I told myself.

“I would like you to try a live feed tonight,” Godric said in response to my hunger.

I nodded. I told him I would try; I had known this was coming. “Can I pick who?” I asked.

Godric thought for a moment. “We’ll see,” he said, and I figured that’s probably as good as I would get from him.

We got to the club, and Ginger had already opened. She looked swamped behind the bar, and Godric nodded that I could go and help her. There were tons of people, and they all smelled terrible, sweaty, and gross. I shivered slightly in disgust but nevertheless started to help Ginger by ringing people up and starting tabs. A vampire came over, and I made him a B neg Tru Blood.

“You’re new,” he said with a leer. “Your maker know you’re out here tonight?” he asked, licking his lips.

“You can ask him,” I said as I shook the bottle at vampire speed and nodded my head to Godric. The vampire’s eyes bugged out comically, and he nearly forgot to pay for his drink. He sped away, and I smiled, amused - Godric was scary. That was funny, but I found I liked that. I liked it more than I probably should have, and I realized that I had been staring at him again. What was wrong with me? I had never been the type of person to get involved with multiple people, and here I was having just, finally, had sex with Eric, and now I was practically drooling over Godric.

Get a fucking grip, Jane.

When it started to slow down, Godric gestured for me to join them on the dais. He pulled me into his lap, and I wondered how he viewed this gesture. Was this a familial, pull your little cousin into your lap kind of thing, or…I stopped my thoughts from going farther down that road and instead focused on how right and normal it felt to be touching him. It was the calmest, and most like myself, I had felt all night. Godric was so serene, and I could almost hide myself into the pool of his sedate presence. I laid my head against Godric’s shoulder and saw that Eric was replying to messages on his phone.

“Rubin hasn’t found anything yet. His daywalker had no luck,” Eric said, and I felt a splinter of anger from him in the bond.

“It is still early,” Godric replied. “Give it time.” He exuded patience.

I looked around the bar. A creepy guy with a beard was looking at me and sending me all kinds of sex vibes. No thank you. A group of women looked like they were on some sort of bachelorette scavenger hunt party, and they were already a bit rowdy. There were a few other groups, but no one there that I could possibly imagine biting.

“No one catches your eye?” Godric asked.

I shook my head.

“You’re both so picky. Look at that group; there’s at least three decently appetizing women there.” Eric indicated the bridal party.

I wrinkled my nose. “What are you talking about? The bride is already super drunk, the maid of honor is so jealous I’m surprised she’s not actually green, the sister of the groom smells like a wet dog, the redhead is trying to make the bridal shower all about her, and the other one is... just depressed,” I told him. “How are any of them exactly appetizing?”

Godric looked at me, and I felt his shock.

“What?” I asked.

“You can sense their emotions all the way from up here?” he asked.

I nodded. Godric shook his head. He tried to hide it, but I felt his amazement in our bond.

“You’ll have to pick, or I’ll pick for you,” Godric told me. “Try to go on smell rather than on what they’re feeling. What they’re feeling may change.”

I looked around. I didn’t like this. I thought that maybe someone would come in that I could relate to. Just a regular nice person that thought they would check out the vampire bar. But everyone here seemed so desperate and gross.

“You can pick,” I told him.

“Go talk to that man with the dark hair at the bar,” he said. “Smells like spices.”

“Lonely guy?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

I got off Godric’s lap and walked over to the bar. I struck up a conversation with the tall, dark-haired man. “Hi, I’m Jane,” I introduced myself while scenting him. He did smell nice, very spicy.

“I’m Ravi,” he said, but he didn’t seem all that interested in me. Or anything for that matter.

“Why are you here?” I asked him.

“Why are any of us here?” he replied to his beer. I stared at him. “This is the closest bar to my house,” he said.

“So you’re just here to drink?” I asked.

“Yep,” he said. “Why are you here?”

“My brother owns the bar,” I said, and I nodded to Eric on the throne.

“Your brother’s a vampire?” he asked, surprised.

I smiled. “Yep.”

He looked at me quizzically then, and I knew he was wondering if I was too. “Can I draw you?” I asked.

“Draw me?” He was surprised again.

“Yeah. Hold on.” I went and got my sketchbook from the office, and I felt Eric’s amusement and Godric’s thoughtful feeling. Whatever. I went back out with my pencil and sketchbook, asking Ravi if I could sketch him again.

“Why would you want to?” he said. “I’m not exactly a model.”

He wasn’t classically handsome, but he had intense piercing eyes and a pleasing smile, even though his large nose somewhat overshadowed his other features.

“Please?” I asked politely.

“Fine.”

I started to sketch him, I could do this much more quickly as a vampire, and it was easier for me to multitask too.

“What do you do?” I asked him, noticing a burn on his hand.

“I’m a chef,” he replied. “Indian place off of 11th, you know it?”

I shook my head. “I moved here from Dallas just over a month ago,” I told him. Had it really only been a month?

“I thought your brother owned this place; you weren’t here with him?” he asked as I sketched the slope of his neck. The spicy scent was more potent, and I was getting thirsty.

“He just became my brother,” I said.

He stopped and looked at me, and I felt his curiosity. “Are you...?”

“What?” I asked, making sure to capture the way the light looked in his eyes.

“A vampire?” he finished.

I wondered if I answered if he would let me finish my sketch.

“I became one recently, yes,” I told him, and I started working on his nose. The more I sketched it, the more I decided I liked it. It was unique. Perfectly unique.

“So, how’s that then?” he replied, and I was thankful he wasn’t afraid of me.

“It’s different. I’m still adjusting,” I told him. “I hadn’t planned on being turned.”

“Oh.” He swigged some of his beer. “That sucks.”

I stopped sketching. I hadn’t thought of how other people would take it. It did suck.

“Was that offensive? The ‘sucks’ thing?” he asked, and I laughed.

“Because vampires suck blood?” I giggled more, and he laughed with me.

“You know. You’re not what I would expect from a vampire,” he told me, and I was almost finished with his sketch.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “I dressed like one on purpose.”

He looked at my bosom and then blushed embarrassedly. The blood rushing to his face looked delicious, and it made him rather endearing.

“No, I just thought, they’re all, you know, creepy and stuff,” he said.

“I’m that sometimes too,” I told him, thinking about why I was here talking to him in the first place. I turned and showed him the sketch. He looked at it in surprise.

“That’s not what I look like,” he scoffed. “You took some liberties.”

“I did not!” I said. “I pride myself on my hyperrealism, and now that I have vampire vision, I’m even better. Look how I got the crinkle of your smile just right.” I pointed it out to him.

“You made me look happy and handsome,” he said.

“Well, I think that you’re both,” I replied stoutly.

He shook his head.

“Do you want the sketch?” I asked him.

He looked at it for a long time. “Yeah, but you have to sign it.”

I signed and dated it at the bottom, my loopy J looking like it was part of the art.

“Thanks,” he said, and he put his hand on my bare shoulder, and I could feel his appreciation. He was genuinely pleased and much less lonely than he was earlier.

“You’re welcome,” I said with a smile, and my fangs slipped slightly at his spicy scent. “Sorry.” I covered my mouth with my hand.

“Jane.” Godric had come down. “I did not ask you to come down here and sketch,” he said more firmly than I expected him to. “You need to feed.”

“Sorry, Godric,” I said, ashamed that he was embarrassing me in front of Ravi.

Ravi looked back and forth between us. “Feed as in…” He trailed off.

“Please go. Take the sketch,” I told Ravi, hoping that he wouldn’t get in trouble too.

Godric grabbed my upper arm, and Ravi went to stop him. “Hey, man. She was just being nice.”

“Excuse me, young man, she is a new vampire. Without adequate nutrition, she will die. If you cannot help her, please allow me to find someone who will do so,” Godric snapped at him.

“What if I can help her?” he said.

I looked up at him. Was he offering?

“I do not think you know what you mean,” Godric told him. “Run along now.”

“Hey, no. I get it. Girl’s gotta eat,” he said.

Godric looked slowly between Ravi and myself. “Very well. Follow me,” he said, and he released my arm.

Ravi and I walked behind him. “You don’t have to do this,” I whispered even though I knew Godric could hear; it just felt more polite.

“I know,” Ravi whispered back. “But… I want to.” I felt his confidence. He did want to.

Godric brought us to the office. “She has never bitten anyone before. I will make sure she doesn’t harm you,” Godric told him. “Take a seat.”

Ravi sat on the couch.

“Jane, join him.” Godric indicated that I should sit next to him. I did, and both Ravi and I were nervous. My fangs slipped again as I breathed in the spices smell. I went to hide them again, but Godric stopped me. “No, you’ll need those out.”

I swallowed.

“Remember what I showed you?” he asked.

I nodded. I looked at Ravi.

“Are you sure?” I asked him, and he looked at me and nodded. He was nervous but not scared, and he was a bit excited. I could feel that he was a little more than interested in me too from the way his eyes lingered on my face and down to my breasts.

I leaned over, and I licked a wide path on his neck, and he tasted of cumin and turmeric. My fangs ached, and I wanted to bite him, but I remembered what Godric said about finding the vein and making sure I didn’t hit it. I licked him again, and I found it with my tongue. It pulsed marvelously. Using my fangs, I gently found either side of it, and then I bit. Sinking my fangs into him felt very erotic and sexual. I groaned at the feeling I wanted to keep them in. It felt so good, but I could feel that Ravi didn’t like that, so I forced myself to remove them. His warm blood dripped out, and I lapped it up softly. When it wasn’t dripping so much, I sucked at his neck. He groaned at the feeling, and his hands tightened on my waist. They were large and warm and felt quite nice.

His blood was delicious. It was a liquid heat across my tongue and down my throat. I learned to time my sucking with his pulse so I would get even delicious spurts of blood. It made me feel satisfied in a way the bagged blood didn’t. It was natural and authentic. It felt right. Strange, but perfectly normal. I drank and drank, lost in the sensation, the velvety warmness of the blood flowing over my tongue, and the heat of his hands on my waist.

“Okay, Jane. That’s enough,” Godric said. If it had been anyone else’s voice, I doubt I would have even heard it, but something innate inside me made me listen to his command. It was the maker’s bond, wanting my submission. I stopped sucking and licked his neck up, just like Eric had always done for me, making sure it clotted over. I stopped licking him, and he was still holding my waist. I looked him in the eye and smiled, and he grinned back, breathing heavily, his eyes dilated. He was aroused. He liked it.

“Whoa,” he said. “That wasn’t what I expected.”

“She did very well,” Godric praised me, and the bond between us shuddered in pleasure at his words. Godric reached into the desk drawer and gave me a bandage, which I applied onto my bite marks on Ravi’s neck.

“Thank you,” I told him, and suddenly I felt embarrassed and aroused, and I didn’t quite know what I was supposed to do. This felt like the end of a date. Was I supposed to kiss him goodbye?

“Uh... you’re welcome,” he replied.

“Feel free to come back,” Godric told Ravi and essentially booted him from the room. I sighed out, feeling weird and jittery. Godric came and pulled me to him, and I felt arousal bloom between us. I was panting even though I didn’t need to breathe.

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked him, writhing my body against his. I didn’t want to be like this.

“Nothing. You were perfect. That was beautiful,” he told me, and I could feel his thickness pressing against me. Ravi’s blood must have excited him.

“Why do I feel so…” I trailed off, running my hands over his shoulders. He knew how I felt.

“It’s part of the feed. It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. It’s instinctive. Especially when done right, and you did it very, very, right,” he whispered in my ear with a slight nip and made me gasp.

Eric burst in. “How did it go? It feels like it went well,” he said, eagerly coming over and smushing me between them. “Mmm... spicy,” he said, sniffing my mouth.

“She was perfect. She pulled her fangs out on her own, which I’ve never heard of a newborn being able to do on their first feed,” Godric told him, a hint of pride coloring his voice. “She might have drained him dry if I wasn’t here, but she stopped right when I asked.”

“Very good, little sister,” Eric told me. “Do you want your reward?”

I shivered. I felt confused. I didn’t want to be in the office at the club. I wanted us to be home in our bed. I felt aroused and scared.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Eric asked, leaning back to look at my face.

“I don’t know. I just feel weird. I wish we were home,” I told them.

Godric nodded. “You want to retreat to your territory. That’s normal. You don’t feel territorial over the bar yet.”

“Let me make you come,” Eric asked. “You’ll feel better.”

“I’m scared,” I told him.

“Of what?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” I felt like I might cry. What was wrong with me?

Godric pulled me to him, and I felt more relaxed, but I still had a painful pent-up arousal.

“Should you take her to the nest?” Eric asked.

“She’ll feel worse if we’re not all together, it will strain her bonds,” Godric replied.

“Pam’s still out running errands. I can’t leave.” Eric explained.

“Why don’t we go and sit? You can spend some time in my lap?” Godric suggested, and I nodded. I just wanted to be held. Godric’s calmness protected me from other emotions, and his physical closeness made our bond feel good. I felt small and safe in his arms.

We went out, and Eric sat on the throne, and Godric sat in the chair next to him and cradled me in his lap. I tucked into him, hiding in his feelings and ignoring the bar patrons.

“I think I can handle watching her next feed,” Eric said keenly, and it occurred to me that Godric had prevented him from watching my first one. “I thought I might overwhelm her in the bond, but I think I would be okay.”

“We’ll see,” Godric replied.

Yvetta, the new dancer, was in front of us dancing on the pole. She was actually a very skilled dancer. She looked at Eric lustfully. He had sexed her up for the better part of last night, so I couldn’t really blame her for looking at him like that. I didn’t want her to, but I was trying not to be so territorial.

I had learned my lesson.

I only got a little bit of snuggle time in before a bald vampire with a cane and an elegant red-headed vampiress came in. Whoever they were, they were important because Eric zoomed down to greet them, and Godric indicated I should stand so that we could do the same. He was immediately tense, and my calm dissolved rapidly at the influx of his feelings.

“Your Highness. Magister,” Eric greeted them, and I immediately knew then that this was very important. The Queen was here.

Godric and I zoomed down as well.

“Magister,” Godric said, inclining his head. “Queen Sophie Ann, may I present my new progeny, Jane.”

I curtsied. It seemed like the right thing to do. If the queen’s pleased smile and the inclination of the magister’s head were anything to go by, it apparently was.

“Godric, so sorry to hear about your sheriffdom, but I am pleased to see that your progeny has survived. I had heard that she came out... wrong,” the Magister’s heavy gaze fell on me, looking over me for signs of defect.

“She’s adjusting quite well,” Godric lied convincingly. Quite well, my ass.

“Northman. I haven’t seen you since the Bill Compton trial,” the Magister then turned his attention to Eric, and I wondered then if Godric had left off my last name on purpose.

“Yes, it’s been too long,” Eric said politely, but I could tell from the bond that he didn’t think it had been long enough. “May I ask what brings you to Fangtasia?”

“We need to talk,” Queen Sophie Ann said, and when women say that, it’s never good. “You should probably close up.”

Eric looked around, it wasn’t near closing time, and business was steady. “We can just use my office.”

“It’s bugged,” she said slyly and then looked at me, and it made me nervous. The Queen coveted something - she had that ravenous, greedy feeling about her.

Alarm jumped down the bond from both Eric and Godric. “How do you know this?” Eric asked, his face still totally impassive.

“Because I’m the one who bugged it,” she admitted smugly, and I instantly started thinking about what we had talked about in the office and if we had said anything incriminating in there. “It’s how I know I can trust you,” she said, so I guessed we didn’t say anything too bad.

The Queen strolled out to the middle of the bar. “All right, everyone out now,” she announced, and the customers, both vampire, and human, exited quickly. “Except she can stay.” Sophie Ann pointed to Yvetta, who looked concerned.

“No. No humans,” the Magister said with disdain. “I need everyone at full attention,” he added, self importantly.

Yvetta exited quickly, and I felt her relief roll off of her in waves. The Magister strolled to the dais and sat on Eric’s throne, and I sensed both Eric and Godric stiffen at the action. It was a power-play - just like when Godric had sat in it before. The Magister was testing them.

“Trouble abounds in your fair state,” the Magister started.

Eric stood before him, arms crossed, and Godric stood back to his right and placed me directly beside him. Apparently, these positions meant something because Magister felt a little blip of shock before it disappeared.

“Tell me,” Eric said, prompting him to explain.

Sophie Ann had taken Godric’s usual chair, and the Magister turned and looked at her. “It would seem your idyllic little home is competing to become the V capital of the world,” he drawled.

“Can you believe it?” Sophie Ann said, and I could sense her insincerity. “I am so embarrassed. Naturally, I told the Magister that you were the only vampire in my kingdom that could be trusted with this,” she simpered and gave Eric a pointed look.

“Anything I can do to be of service,” Eric replied, and I felt his anger burn at Sophie Ann.

The Magister turned to me. “Our blood is sacred.” I nodded. “Wasting it on anything other than procreation is blasphemy,” he stated. I didn’t realize that they had meant sacred like Holy. I thought it was more like reverence. Was there a vampire religion?

“Madness,” Sophie Ann said

“Desecration,” Eric tacked on.

“Sacrilege,” Godric added.

I just nodded, not sure what I could say. The Magister looked at me. “How many nights old is she?”

“Only six,” Godric stated. “She broke her first blood tonight.”

The Magister smiled. “Have you started her on The Book?”

“Not yet,” Godric smiled back, but it wasn’t a happy smile. It was a dangerous one that seemed to pull in all the light from the room.

“Have you noticed an uptick in users in your neck of the woods?” the Magister asked Eric, returning to the original topic and away from Godric’s powerful stare. “Maybe even here in your... club?”

“I haven’t, no,” Eric said, and I wondered if it was wise for him to lie.

The Magister’s skepticism was obvious on his face. I did not need to sense his feelings to know that he doubted Eric’s veracity.

“See, that’s surprising to me, as every other sheriff to whom I’ve spoken has. The amounts are so great, in fact, that we can only assume a vampire is responsible.” The Magister pinned Eric with a stare, and I focused on making my face blank.

“An act of self-loathing so shameful that whoever is responsible should fall on his own stake,” Sophie Ann added, and I wondered how the Magister couldn’t tell that she was lying. It felt so obvious to me.

“Respectfully, Magister, I’m not sure I follow your logic,” Eric said smoothly, and I wondered why Godric wasn’t speaking up. I glanced over at him, and he gave me a measured look. One that I took to mean not to say anything.

“If your average run-of-the-mill drainers were behind this, it would stand to reason said drainers would need vampires to drain, which means there would be missing vampires and plenty of them. How many vampires have gone missing in your area?” the Magister asked.

Eric swallowed, and I watched him decide to lie again. “None, Magister.”

“So, now, do you follow my logic?” he questioned.

“I do,” Eric replied. “And I will look into the matter.” Eric was a good liar. He seemed truly like he would look into it.

“Good,” the Magister stated. “And I will expect results.”

“You will have them,” Eric promised.

The Magister looked over at Sophie Ann, and she smiled, pleased with this outcome.

“Godric,” the Queen stated, and he stepped forward. “Are you just visiting, or are you planning to stay in my state?”

I felt a tension in the bond. “We have just made the decision this evening. My new progeny and I are here to stay.”

“Excellent,” she said, but she was looking covetously at me. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“I will be off then if you’re going to be doing this business,” the Magister said, and he got off the throne.

“Out of curiosity… When we do find the vampire who’s responsible, how will you punish him?” Sophie Ann asked, and she followed the Magister off of the dais.

“Or her?” Eric added, trailing them as well. Godric placed his hand on the small of my back to urge me forward to follow, and I was immediately acutely aware of how much I liked that. The simple weight of his hand there had me squirming and ready to combust with need. Godric gave me a dark knowing look and removed his hand. He felt my arousal through our bond from his simple touch. God, that was so embarrassing! I forced my attention back to the conversation at hand.

“And will it be public?” The queen gave Eric a glare behind the Magister’s back.

We continued to follow him toward the doorway.

“Of course, whoever is proven guilty of such a crime must be made an example of. This kind of moral anarchy cannot be allowed.” The Magister turned to look at us.

“Agreed,” Eric said as if he was eager to see this vampire punished.

“To a speedy resolution,” the Magister said with a tip of his head.

Sophie Ann smiled fakely. “The speedier, the better.”

“Magister,” Eric tilted his head in farewell.

“Joseph,” Godric said in farewell, and I could tell that the Magister did not like that Godric had addressed him so informally. Godric had that powerful gleam to his smile, and I wondered what the history was there.

As soon as the door shut, Sophie Ann turned to us all.

“Is it just me, or is he really dull?” She looked over at Godric and I. “I mean, isn’t moral anarchy kind of the point?”