Chapter Text
Judy paused the newest BD she was working on and glared at the phone. When she saw who called her frustration quickly ebbed away.
“Hey, calabacita,” she sent her a kiss, delighted to see the immediate effect. The merc had to take a moment to answer, blinking owlishly. Like a moth to a flame.
“Judy,” V breathed out, trying to fight the sudden urge to be deliciously distracted. “Listen, I need your help.”
It now dawned on her that this could be a dangerous situation. Sobering up, the techie scrutinized the merc and the environment for any hints of trouble. It looked like she was hauled up in the bathroom, hiding from someone. “Shit, are you alright? And why are we whispering?”
V gave her a lopsided smile. “Let’s just say that this is a different kind of an emergency, Jude. I’m not being hunted by anyone, if that’s what you’re getting at. Although…”
“Quit screwing around and tell me.” The growl in her voice made V quirk an eyebrow.
“Calm down, tiger. So, here’s the thing.” She looked positively embarrassed. “I, uh, agreed to come to this guy’s dinner party.”
Judy folded her arms. “And?”
V gestured to her surroundings. “And I’m stuck in the bathroom, trying to avoid his family. I think this is supposed to be a date. His nephew and niece are already calling us a couple. I tried to make it obvious that I am not interested, but there was no way to lay it out in the open without it being painfully awkward.”
There was a knock on the door and the merc nearly dropped her phone. “Is everything alright in there?”
“Don’t worry, Joss. I’ll be out in a bit.” V toyed with the collar of her shirt, eyes darting around, looking for an escape route that wasn’t there. Judy sat back and watched with a satisfied smirk.
“Are you sure? It’s not the food, is it?”
V dragged her palm across her face. “No, no, trust me. The grub is fine, it’s just that time of the month for me. You know?” Judy bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.
Joss made a sympathetic sound. “Aw, I see. You didn’t get that checked out? That was my first major implant, you know. After the kids, of course.”
V shrugged. “Well, I don’t wanna go overboard with the tech. Not more than I need to,” said the woman who chopped off her forearms for mantis blades.
“I get it. Well, um, better be careful, then. See ya outside, V.”
“Yeah-no, what?” The merc frowned as the implied meaning of her words suddenly hit her like a truck. Footsteps were slowly growing faint and she heard the door slide shut.
Judy chuckled darkly. “Well, well, well. Do you need me to come over and save you from your prince charming, my dear damsel?”
“Who are you calling a damsel?” Despite her obvious discomfort, she was grateful for the teasing. “Just call me again in ten minutes and make it sound super urgent like your life depends on it. That ought to do the trick.”
“Uh-huh. And who said I’d want to help?”
V was taken aback. “Excuse me?”
Oh, the power she now held. It would be too bad if she relinquished it without having a little bit of fun first. “You got yourself into this situation, V. I mean, how could you not see the signs, girl? A lonely guy asks you out for dinner.” She shook her head. “Tsk, tsk. I’m dating an idiot.”
“Come on, it could still be a friendly outing.”
“Did he, or did he not make the food himself?”
“He…did.”
“Did he also show off during the process?”
“Absolutely.”
“And he already introduced you to his family.”
“Okay, enough.” V stood up. “Name your price. I’ll do anything, just get me out of here, Jude.”
“Oh, the possibilities…”
“Judy.”
“You said anything, girl. You can’t blame me for letting my imagination wander.”
“You got ten minutes.” V had the audacity to hang up.
Spinning in her chair, Judy felt giddy with excitement. The big bad merc was now sitting at a table with a bunch of straights, pretending to be one herself to avoid drama. The mental image made her throw her head back and laugh. She has never dated anyone this socially awkward.
She could ask for something relatively innocent like a massage. A late night date. Or she could be cruel and kinky just to see how far she could go until the merc broke. Unsurprisingly, her evil side won over, and she was already tying the girl up in her mind as she watched the clock at the bottom of her monitor.
Then it occurred to her just what was happening. Some idiot was hoping to fuck her girl. Even worse, he could have wanted more than that. It was obvious that he would not be getting any, not with her V who was loyal and hopelessly homosexual, but even the sole notion of someone imagining her that way was enough to make her grind her teeth in anger. Perhaps she should show up in person and kiss her right in front of this nameless dude and his family. Yeah, she would have liked that.
Problem was, there had to be so many more folks like that. V was an empath in the body of a killing machine - sexy and so fucking reliable. She pushed the boundaries of what could and could not be done, found needles in hay stacks, and she was good at pretty much anything except reading the intentions of straight men and knowing how to deal with technology. Judy could easily program two-way sensors for BDs while V would take forever just to fix an old toaster. Judy was slowly teaching her whenever they got the time, and the girl excitedly sent her photos of her opening high-sec doors with her thumbs up. It never failed to put a smile on her face.
And now was the time to save that idiot from a very awkward confrontation. She dialed her number and nearly burst out laughing when it connected on the second ring.
“Hello, yes, I am a gun for hire.” V could barely keep up this charade, Judy could tell. “I am currently indisposed, so this better be an emergency.”
“Hello, miss,” Judy drawled out. “I would like to hire that gun of yours. Urgently.”
V scoffed and quickly covered it up with a cough. “Unusual request, but I agree. Sounds urgent enough. I don’t work for free, though, especially when fixers aren’t involved.”
“Oh, I’ll fix you, alright.” Judy let her voice drop even lower. “Come to me.”
There was a small pause. “I’ll be there in five.”
Judy sent her another kiss. “Can’t wait.”
Oh, that poor guy, got the girl stolen from him mid date. But Judy was not sorry, not one bit.