Chapter Text
The thing about Callum is that he bottles a lot of things up. Internalises it. Thinks and believes he can go it alone until he seriously can't, all cos of his upbringing. All so he doesn't hurt others, hurting himself in the process. Not realising he doesn't have to. Ben's been trying – oh God, has he been trying – to help him break the cycle, get him to speak about what's bothering him and leaving him no room for arguments. So far, there'd been little reward and it was getting frustrating. Ben needs him to see that it ain't going to help him in the long run. He'd sworn to protect the man he'd come to adore, and nothing was going to jeopardise that. Callum wasn't going to come to anymore harm than he had already. On the sly, he'd sought Mick out seeing as he was Callum's resident - and most likely always - father figure to talk things out. Mick had narrowed his eyes until he realised Ben had meant wanting to look after his son completely earnestly and told him to sit with him for a quick pint.
He'd learnt a lot that day. Including the fact that just because his boyfriend was older than him by a few years didn't mean he had all the answers as much as he tried to pretended to do so.
Sometimes he felt his worries land on deaf ears (oh and he'd know all about that, wouldn't he?)
But for Callum, he'd keep trying. He felt as if he owed it to him. Not just for Callum but for some stupid other reason. He wanted to shove it in everyone's faces. Show the Square that it weren't just Callum who could be all doting, caring and considerate. Shove it into everyone who thought they'd be God awful and not right for each other.
Yeah and maybe sometimes he also thought that way – a lot of days he thought that way – but he was trying his best. Callum had decided he wanted him and Ben saw no reason to complain, not after that Christmas. He wanted to be worthy of him. Wanted to be his only one. Ben wanted Callum to be happy. Not just what he thought he'd thought would make him happy. He didn't want to lose the best thing to happen to him since Paul....or Lexi. So he wouldn't. Which again led him to his first thought and that was that Callum held himself high wherever possible but sometimes there were cracks.
Those cracks had kept going lately, built up higher and higher. And he'd kept on internalising it.
Callum couldn't keep going it alone. Those cracks were going to break soon. He just knew it.