Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Roses can mean a lot more than love." Zoe said as her, Evan and I walked down the aisles of a flower shop. She picked up a bouquet of peach flowers and held them out to us, "Like peach flowers often represent gratitude and thanks."

The three of us have been out all day downtown, jumping from shop to shop and just browsing. It was Zoe's idea, I promise. 

I could go on about how this was a waste of time and money, but that would be a lie. I'm actually having a lot of fun. 

"I never knew you were a rose enthusiast." I commented, picking a blue petal off a rose beside me subconsciously.

Zoe shrugged, "It's just something I picked up, I guess!" She turned to the flower I had just ripped and picked it up,"Blue flowers mean mystery. They--"

She went on, but I tuned out, not really caring all that much. Don't get me wrong, flowers are cool and all, but I didn't really feel like this was information I was going to be needing. 

My gaze turned to Evan, who was fixated on Zoe as she spoke, consuming every word that was coming out of her lips. I doubt he actually cared about what she was saying, though. I mean, she's Zoe . He'd always stare at her when given the chance.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. Zoe's great and all but goddamn Evan can you just look at me for once.

Zoe actually knows about my feelings for Evan. I don't know how it happened, but one day she brought it up offhandedly. And who was I to try and disagree?

(Actually, I disagreed very much. I knew that Evan liked her so maybe he'd have a chance with her if I told her she had no competition. But I guess I wasn't very convincing.)

From then, it seemed like she'd been trying to get Evan and I in the same rooms together. It's like she's trying to play matchmaker, but I don't think she realizes that she isn't really helping. She's just making me feel like a third wheel. I haven't gone anywhere with Evan without Zoe in months. 

But I'm grateful, nonetheless. It's nice to know someone has hope for him and I getting together.

"The only ones that really represent love are the red ones." Zoe concluded her monologue on flowers, and Evan nodded, keeping eye-contact with Zoe.

We went to eat lunch after that, at a local diner with rectangular tables outside. We ordered and walked towards the tables, Evan by Zoe’s side the entire time. 

She sat down and, by a sudden and unexplained impulse, I sat down beside her, blocking the seat for Evan. That was my jealousy getting the best of me, I must admit.

Evan looked at me and chuckled awkwardly, before walking to sit on the other side of the table. I was hoping that he didn’t suspect anything, but he definitely noticed my haste to steal his spot. "It's like you want Zoe all to yourself or something."

That struck a chord in me somehow. Because of course Evan wouldn't be able to see. Of course he's oblivious to this all, even though it was obvious to Zoe, who has been trying to get us together. He thinks so highly of her that he thinks I'd choose her over him.

Or maybe he's just that heteronormative. 

I tried to remain calm as to not say something I'd regret, but the underlying layer of sadness and longing was bubbling up a bit at his statement. 

Zoe looked at me, nodded slightly towards Evan and smiled.

I inhaled and made sure my tone didn't come off as angry, "No. I want you all to myself."

Evan laughed. Not awkwardly and not confusedly, but just laughed. As if he thought I was joking.

"Do I sound like I'm kidding?" I followed up, my voice still.

Evan blinked and his smile fell. This was more of the reaction I was expecting, yes. 

He looked at Zoe and she nodded. 

Of course he would look at Zoe.

Evan swallowed and pulled out a yellow flower. No, not just a yellow flower. A yellow rose . "It represents friends and companionship."

I looked between the flower and Evan's expression, which was deadpan and staring me in the eye. Did he think this was funny? 

My face morphed into one of disgust and anger. This kid really thought it would be better if he friendzoned me by giving me a fucking flower , didn't he? He could have just said it to my face, couldn't've he? 

I exhaled, trying to keep my cool. He might have thought that this would be easier for me. Because a gift is a gift, despite the circumstances, right? 

Regardless, I stood up. "I think I'm gonna take a walk." I took another breath of air; it was starting to cool off a bit.

I wasn't even three steps away when Evan got up and grabbed my shirt, keeping me behind. 

I turned back around and caught his gaze, my face flat as to not show too much anger or… whatever else I'm feeling right now. Don't say love.

He was smiling.

He held the yellow rose in his hand and passed it to the girl beside us. Zoe. "This one's for you."

Wait… what? 

Zoe smiled brightly at Evan and took it with ease. As if she knew it was coming. She didn't seem hurt and she didn't seem to mind. "Thank you, Evan! It's pretty!"

Then…?

Evan giggled softly at my confused expression and pulled out another rose. " This one's yours."

It was red. Love and compassion. 

I stumbled back a bit and started at it. "Holy shit." I mumbled under my breath, "You are smooth..."

Believe me when I say I couldn't believe it. He seemed so attached to Zoe, how did this happen? 

Zoe giggled, "You always tell me he's oblivious, but I don't think you realize how oblivious you are too." She was smiling, as if she was a mind reader and she knew she answered my question perfectly. 

I ignored her and slowly took the rose from Evan's fingers. Love and compassion. "Thank you."