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Zhong Chenle is a friendly guy, outgoing and chatty, congenial to everyone and nothing ever gets him down for long. Nothing except maybe-
"But like, Chenle feels like a friend, but why does Sungchan feel like a hyung? Why does he feel like a hyung? Ahh-"
Chenle let out a small tch, the noise of discontent bouncing off the car walls as their manager drove him to his workplace. As usual he had tuned into Jisung's dorm voice only vlive (what can he say? he's a supportive guy), only to hear Jisung talking about Sungchan. And while he wasn't usually this petty (for this long anyway) about people but something about Sungchan made Chenle feel ambivalent to one of their group's newest members.
It's a series of thoughts he's been turning over in his head in recent times. Jung Sungchan, and reasons he's been feeling strangely about him in the last few weeks they've known each other.
The first he thinks, plain and simple as day, also the only one he's come up with. Chenle's never had a same aged friend in his group, and Sungchan threatens him. It could be that, he nods to nobody in particular, running through the same list of reasons he's been tallying in his head about why he could possibly be jealous of the boy.
Firstly, while they're the same age, Sungchan practically towers over him, dominating the height leaderboards alongside Johnny and Lucas in spite of the fact that he is neither 6 or 2 years older than Chenle like the other two are. He's only two months older. So he shouldn't be that tall, it goes against Chenle's laws of equality.
Secondly, it could be that he's feeling competitive about Sungchan over Kun. Nothing too serious, but back then when their company made Chenle debut and leave Kun behind in spite of the half assed Chinese only debut they granted him, Chenle always knew that as a trainee Kun would as a kind soul end up taking more kids under his wing once Renjun and Chenle left. And seeing pictures that the WayV brothers have of their trainee days, it was clear that Sungchan had taken over the spot he had. And maybe that point isn't as strong since he's heard that he stuck to Jungwoo who was the only other korean in that training group, but Chenle's seen those enough of those pictures to consider him a threat to his position for Kun's favourite 01 liner.
And perhaps lastly, and the slight that happens the most often. Manifests in the form of one Park Jisung and *his* relationship to Jung Sungchan. While Chenji has been and to Chenle, will always be a duo that will never be broken or even compared to to think about Sungchan competing with Chenle over Jisung's friendship- the way Jisung's been calling Sungchan with a hyung to the back of his name has not been overlooked. And while Chenle could take it as a "hah Sungchan, I'm close to Jisung and you're not" in the childishly competitive way he's been treating the poor boy, he's instead relating this back to point 1. That's he's jealous of how while they only have 2 months between them, everyone seems to think of Sungchan as more mature, and Chenle on occasion gets paired with the image of the clumsy new foreign trainee who had to be accompanied with a machine translator.
Sighing, he texts Jisung a quick "Can't believe you're giving so much respect to that giant that you won't give me!!! >:(" before putting those thoughts aside as the car pulls into the building carpark. He has a radio to record, so Jung Sungchan and what figuring exactly that odd feeling is Chenle has around him just has to be solved later.
It's tradition that after every Awsawz the pair films a vlive together to show their blossoming friendship like a kind of aftershow. But unlike other pairs, Chenle finds himself sitting with Jungwoo in a recording studio in between recording sessions discussing about their newest members. Comments from fans not just there for Jungwoo and Chenle, and trying to suss out as much information of their new members, and that's how Jung Sungchan crops up.
"Actually, Sungchan's super funny! I used to hang out with him all the time back when we were trainees and he's just the best., tall, handsome and funny! I hope you guys will love him" Jungwoo smiles turning to take a look at Chenle before adding on "Chenle and Sungchan are the same age right? Have you gotten to know him better Chenle?"
Chenle only manages to keep his monkey brain down for a few moments, managing to get out a few words that he hasn't had the chance to get to know Sungchan well yet since they're so busy, before his baser instincts of needing to complain about Jung Sungchan take over.
"When he's beside me... it's like... it's like... I'm his son!" Chenle huffed, cheeks puffing out as Jungwoo laughed, arms wrapping around him as comments flooded the live. Comments asking about the member fans just got to learn more about the day prior, how Chenle feels about having Sungchan as a same aged friend and some encouraging words of how Chenle does NOT look like Sungchan's son beside him. The last ones, help just a little.
The next day, Chenle screenshots a tweet he finds from one of his fan's twitter accounts comparing Chenle's and Sungchan's heights in a meme format, captioning it with "I can't even argue with this," as he posts it onto his weibo. Adding on a "This is a height difference even insoles can't resolve" into his comments section to really drive home the point that Jung Sungchan, really is just too tall.
When Jisung texts him the screenshot with a copious amount of raised eyebrow emojis, Chenle replies that Sungchan's just too tall and it just simply annoys him that he looks so short next to him because it just feels wrong. Jisung sends a singular sighing emoji, and they leave it at that.
Chenle actually does make an attempt to get to know Sungchan better, well, but not completely of his own choosing. Taeil instantly snaps up Sungchan for their team when the 00 line of their group decide to abduct Shotaro for a show of how they're 'the superior birthyear' so the boy wouldn't feel lonely.
Which is how Chenle finds himself here, mindlessly nodding along as Sungchan tries his best to get his team up to scratch on the proper technique of ball kicking.
Don't get him wrong, it's not that he thinks Sungchan is speaking out of his ass-. After all, he nearly handed them a turnabout win against arm wrestling gods Johnny and Lucas because of a wrestling technicality. Something that Chenle kind of regrets not paying heed to, but he doubts a little as Sungchan pushes the sleeves of his shirt up, exposing arms that Chenle is sure is far more toned than his.
"-and so, Chenle will be our goalie right? It's kind of like basketball, and I know he's really good at that" Ah fuck, was someone talking to him? Chenle blinks owlishly, realising it was Sungchan explaining to the hyungs on why he's pushing him as their goalie choice. Honestly? He's a little lost on when he agreed to be their goalie, but remembers he's just been bobbing his head every few moments like an idiot for the past few minutes and that was probably when. Ah well, he can only hope Sungchan's right about the role being basketball adjacent.
Sungchan's never been more right, with several goals blocked on his end while Sungchan cheers on their team as they score several instead. Chenle rushes over when Sungchan's about to sit down, tapping awkwardly on his shoulder to ask for his attention, raising his hands up for a high-five.
"We're really doing well Sungchan! You really know your stuff huh?" Chenle smiles, heart clenching again when Sungchan returns with his own stunning smile. This jealousy is insane, Chene thinks. Even when Sungchan's helping Chenle and their team get wins? Chenle's nothing but competitive, but he really must find something in the taller male annoying if he's still getting bothered when he's literally helping them win.
"Actually, recently I've begun to use casual speech with Sungchan" remarks Jisung, body hunching over as he fights with the jewellery pliers, snapping yet another ornament onto the chains after Chenle smugly brags to the fans and Jisung about how he doesn't use formal speech around Sungchan and Shotaro. Casually ignoring the fact that he's the same age as Sungchan to begin with, and Shotaro is a foreigner that just arrived at their company a year ago.
"Ah really?" Chenle says disinterestedly, even though his mind races at the thought "Yep! Chenji exclusive" Jisung says, firing a finger gun at the camera.
"Ah,,, Sungchan, you shouldn't do that" Chenle mock sighs, shaking his head "Jisung will become so- not great"
"Yah, Sungchan... watch out. I'll make you regret it" Jisung smiles, as he resumes working on the mask necklace.
It feels wrong, but a small part of Chenle is delighted at another one of his annoyances being knocked off the list. Sure he can't do anything about the chasm between their heights, and maybe the last few weeks of group promotions has proved to him that Sungchan is more of Jungwoo's kid than Kun's, but Sungchan's been knocked down to Jisung's "same aged friend" just like Chenle... they should be on more even ground and yet... Chenle's heart still squeezes a little when he thinks of Sungchan's dopey face, was jealousy not the problem at all? Nah- maybe he should start looking into ways to grow taller, he's 20 after all, he has a year left to grow a last 15cm.
Luckily for Chenle, he's allowed another chance to figure out what exactly his heart is clenching over not more than a few days later.
"Jung Sungchan!!!" is yelled at a volume way too loud for a room in an office building, eliciting an immediate response from Mark to stop yelling as loud.
"You surprised me," Sungchan smiles, sliding beside Chenle's, hands nearly wrapping around his waist. Was Sungchan always this physically comfortable with him? Why does the texture of Sungchan's hoodie pressing into his side feel softer than any hoodie his hyungs own? Maybe he should ask him for his detergent- "This is for me?" Sungchan asks , mouth forming the most annoying O shape like he hasn't watched Chenle hand out several of these to the members already.
"Yeah, but... I didn't make it so don't like it too much" Chenle teases in his usual fashion. Emotionally high off interacting with so many of his hyungs in the same hour, playing off them that he momentarily forgets his feeling crisis over Sungchan enough to remember to treat him differently. The small aw fuck feeling settling in his stomach as Sungchan's eyes search his face for any sign that he's either joking or being very serious. But Chenle's already dug his grave, so there's no quitting now.
"Yeah- but if you don't wear it, I'll never talk to you again" yeah, that's a good way to add onto this Chenle.
"Why?" and god so help Chenle, eyes that large on a boy his age shouldn't be possible. He looks so vulnerable that Chenle's this close to just telling him that it's a joke to save his feelings, and praying that the editors cut this out for him. But he doesn't.
"Yeah, if you don't wear it, I'll tell the fans on my weibo that you don't" At this point, it's hard to hold in his laughter given how Sungchan seems to look like he's thinking about the possibility of Chenle's actually razing him on camera, eyes still looking at Chenle like he's waiting for more, when the realisation finally hits Sungchan.
"I'll wear it" Sungchan replies in a fake hurt voice, arms folding, just before he decides to instead lightly knock his fist against Chenle's shoulder "You didn't make it either!" Sungchan laughs, even though he does promise to wear it.
Chenle keeps an eye on Sungchan on the days he gets to see him around amidst promotions, eyes scanning over the boy for the yellow plastic the moment they come into proximity of each other. But by the third time he's been caught looking, Sungchan starts leaving parts of the chain to peek out if he's not wearing his mask, sending smirks in Chenle's direction when he catches him looking. Well, at least Chenle isn't going to have to report Sungchan to the fans... for now.
During the final music video shoot for Resonance, Chenle finds himself watching Sungchan play around with Jungwoo during the filming break. Watching the duo playing around in front of the camera, but really they're doing pushups and other core exercises. His eyes raking up and down Sungchan's arms pushing him up and off the ground, trying to comprehend just how long that boys messing with his mind that a soft "he's just so goddamn tall" is muttered under Chenle's breath.
And yet, even if it was supposed to be soft enough for just himself, someone catches it.
"Hey Chenle, why does it bother you so much that you think you're shorter than Sungchan and look like his son?". Jesus, Jisung. just got to the set and he's already using his time to move in on Chenle's complaining time before he has to go.
"Because... we're the same age? It's not fair he gets to be so much cooler and maturer and taller, and I just look so much like a kid next to him you know?" he huffs in return, tucking into his best friend's side
"I've been telling you that you don't Chenle, sometimes you even look older than him with how much you frown when you think about him."
"Hey! take that back or i'm not buying lunch for you for a whole week"
"I'll take that threat with grace," Jisung smiles , head nodding like he's pleased with himself for coming in and messing with Chenle's thoughts "But hear me out, what if you actually have a crush on him, and you don't like thinking you look like a child next to him because you want to be cool in his eyes?"
Jisung gets up to leave and Chenle just lets him, eyes looking far into nothing as he turns over Jisung's words , over and over and over again. Is he right?
He thinks about it when he sees Sungchan play around with the elder members, using their long limbs in an effort to jump onto the stage. Unlike them though, Chenle sees the final moment he chickens out and decides to just run on stage instead, chuckling as the boy skips over 4 steps in one go.
He gets a text later that night from Jisung, a flood of short texts bombing his notifications. All coming in and adding onto each other every other second with Jisung asserting that Chenle is super manly , the manliest, and also very cool. And that being manly means not caring about traditional toxic masculinity even if you're just holding yourself to it, and that he if he super likes Sungchan he should just be kind to him and ask him out.
When Chenle asks Jisung why he thinks so much about Chenle's own love life and Chenle's personal feelings about Sungchan, the messages finally come to a end. Only for a short "My hobby is thinking, Chenle 😤" comes in half an hour later, and all the boy can do is laugh- thinking that his best friend truly is one of the best people he's ever got to meet.
One fine day, after a fan sign event he sees the fans talking about him, Sungchan and Daegal on twitter. What initially started as fans thinking an image of him and his daughter was Sungchan and daegal, the topic then switched to fans joking about how Sungchan was going to attempt to send fans the picture of him and Daegal when Chenle had banned him from entering his home. He knew he said that during an event to the fans, and he was so sure that he said it as a joke, but- thinking about it, Sungchan hadn't been coming around lately.
He couldn't help it, not even a split second later Chenle found himself staring at their sparse text thread, cringing at the 4 week gap between the messages in which Chenle merely sent a thumbs up emoji to a question and the recently sent "Hey, you know I was joking about you being banned right? Just to be clear, because I haven't seen you come around with Jungwoo or Haechan"
God what was he thinking, Sungchan was preparing to debut in the new boygroup, maybe he was just too busy to come over and see him and-
"Hey! And... ah... well..." precedes the rippling dots at the end of his screen, was Sungchan planning on confessing to Chenle on how much he hated the boy? Chenle didn't exactly ask for an essay, but sitting on his couch absentmindedly letting Daegal nibble at his socks, he started to get a little scared.
"It's just that I don't know if the other members would really want me to come along you know? You've known them for awhile and this is your home and we haven't known each other for that long for me to come over the way Haechan-hyung does but... I know you were joking then but, it's nice to be confirmed that I'm definitely not banned at your home" comes through after 5 minutes of waiting. Chenle feeling more nauseous than he feels like he honestly should be, but fuck it, nobody's around to judge him.
"Don't overthink it dumbass, Daegal likes having you over which means I like having you over. So come over sometime when you're free okay? She'd love to play with you anytime" is what they leave the conversation at. Chenle flopping onto the couch, worn out as Daegal licks his cheek, wondering if she's trying to call him out on how it's Chenle that'd like having Sungchan over more than her.
For the first time in awhile, Chenle isn't thinking about how small he looks besides Sungchan even as they stand side by side in front of the cameras; smiling as he asks Sungchan for his concert behind story for the fans, heart pattering when Sungchan has his trademark momentary panic, fluttering as he eggs him to talk about his performance in BOSS for the fans.
"I feel a little regretful though" Chenle whines after Sungchan wraps on talking about him doing Taeyong's part as a trainee to be doing it now on stage with the other members. Sungchan looking at him ever so fondly, smile on his face, finally used to Chenle's antics.
"Ah, why?" he teases, lips curling into a grin.
"Because Taeyong's rap part in Boss is supposed to be mine!" Chenle sighs dramatically, shaking his head as the rest of the hyungs laugh at the claim, egging him to claim what is his. "Then you give it a try!" Sungchan adds on as Chenle starts backtracking. Ah, well then he has to try right?
Chenle absolutely rises to the challenge- and then chickens out not a second later, his mouth welding shut as he dances along to his hyungs rapping for him unable to spit the bars he's done hundred thousands of times over the last two years. But when he looks at Sungchan, still grinning at him- Chenle tiptoes up to whisper into his ear that he's totally going to try later when they're alone, and he didn't forget the lyrics at all. Sungchan raises a skeptical eyebrow at him, as Renjun starts to talk about how he's been trying to get everyone to focus on Jeno's story for the last minute. Chenle'll just have to prove himself later.
"Thanks for mentioning me in your relay cam Chenle-yah, I hope when the video comes out I've done well like you said I would~" is the first notification Chenle sees at the top of his phone screen after his radio recording session. Usually he'd reply immediately, but the conversations he's had the last few days regarding possible feelings of love, makes him think he needs the time to himself- he'll get to replying Sungchan.. sometime.
He gets to that task not more than two days later, his body starting to cramp from the loud laughter he's subjected to their managers to in his ride home, fingers hovering over the replay button on Sungchan's relay cam. Thoughts swirling through his head, is the boy that dumb? Who the fuck cuts shoes with regular scissors? Oh god did he track paint onto the floor and did the managers scold him? But what he does conclude is that now 15 minutes of recorded footage of the clumsiest, cutest boy now lay on their group's youtube channel for the whole world to find. And Chenle, to keep to all of his values, just has to tease him over it.
His fingers move to their message thread, the words "I might have to take that back, touching wet paint several times? Maybe fans shouldn't be so quick to call you a thinker or cool at all just because you're so tall, you might just be as clumsy as Jisung-ah Sungchan. You're lucky you're so cute"
There's a lightness in him as he hits send, absolutely certain he finally has the answer to the question he's been thinking over for so long. He likes Jung Sungchan, and he's just so cute Chenle can't help but to want to be there to protect him. And now that he knows what he feels? Maybe, he thinks to himself, he'll make a move soon.
"Hey Sungchan, do you think I'm cool?" is what leaves Chenle's mouth one random day when he finds Sungchan in his house to visit Daegal. The taller looks over from his awkward position looming over Chenle's precious daughter, like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't, and gives one of his classic overthinking brand of pouts, cocking his head confusedly at the question.
"Yes? I've never though otherwise, but... what's this about? Did someone talk bad about you?" Moving again to reposition himself to rest against the couch, picking up Daegal and putting her in his lap as he turns to look at Chenle. Chenle looks away.
"Oh you know, just some things I was thinking about when I first met you. I thought you were so tall, that I'd just look so non-cool and non-manly to you from all the way down here"
"Oh... Chenle..." Sungchan says softly, the silence filling the room as he seems to mull over his words "I don't need to think about your height, when it comes to you I think about how you're just so confident and sure of yourself. I could think about how you're generous and kind to the hyungs. I could think about how even if you tease others when it comes down to it you'd be the first person there reassuring them and making sure they're okay. You've never been anything but cool and manly to me"
"Oh then... would you like to go on a date with me? I'm free on the 14th after all." God, for all the confidence fan says he has, his palms are sweating way too much, eyes already darting to the wine in case he had to pull an emergency 'Blame the Alcohol' manoeuvre. He's sure a glass of 10% alcohol is enough to claim drunkedness if it came down to it.
"Huh?", Sungchan's face flushes, eyes widening to the size of saucers "like.. wait where is this all coming from? You still haven't answered that at all!" He whines, chewing on his lip.
"I like you, simple as that, and I thought for the longest time you'd think of me as less of a man and all that other shit that's unimportant but," his fingers fiddle with the hem of his shirt, eyes glancing up to meet Sungchan's "you think I'm cool right- so do you want to go out on a date with me?"
Sungchan's hands come to rest his head, the taller slouching over like he's been hit with news as weighty as "Santa isn't real", sitting wordlessly. As Chenle sighs internally, preparing himself for a few more attempts at this 'asking out' thing. But his heart is anything but heavy, mind anything but pessimistic. After all, he's more than certain that he's going to have a date on the fourteenth.
It all starts like this, with a meeting long overdue.
"Chenle! Come over here! I want to introduce you to someone," Kun yells loudly over the set, gesturing for the younger to come over, warm smile ever present on his face "This is Sungchan, and this is Chenle. Sungchan's one of the two new members that are joining NCT, and since you two are the same age you two should get to know each other right?".
Chenle finally gets to look up (up!!!!) at the absolute giant of a man standing in front of him, and it takes all of his willpower to not snark back at Kun. The elder's hand is practically hanging onto trying to casually lay on the boy's shoulders, Sungchan's eyes widening with the most awkwardly shy grin Chenle's ever seen in his life as he sticks out his hand out to Chenle.
Them? the same age? Kun has to be joking, the boy in front of him makes Chenle look like a toddler standing beside him with their height difference. But Chenle's nothing if not a friendly guy and an avid Kun-lover , so he returns his brightest grin and nods his head, promising his precious pseudo-ge that he'll befriend this Sungchan.
Meanwhile, there's an odd feeling overcoming Chenle. But as he sticks his hand out, neck craning more than he thinks it should as he shakes Sungchan's hand. He'll think more about this feeling another time.
"It's nice to meet you Sungchan-ssi! Let's get along well"