Chapter Text
The quiet tranquility of Cloud Recesses was shattered when an explosion rocked the mountain.
Multiple Lan cultivators from Elders to the most junior of junior disciples converged at the source, where 5 year old Lan Lu was scribbling frantically into a notebook.
Her white robes were untouched by the explosion that had scarred a large portion of the training grounds. Her twin brother, Lan Ren courtesy name Luren, was fast asleep meters away and completely undisturbed by what was happening.
“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!” roared Lan Qiren, his face an angry shade of red.
“Shouting is forbidden in Cloud Recesses,” Lan Lu said distractedly, trying to figure out exactly where her seal had gone wrong. “Maybe the calibration was off,” she muttered and began scribbling equations.
A vein pulsed in Lan Qiren’s temple, “For causing noise and creating damages, kneel and reflect!”
Lan Lu looked up at him calmly, “The rules state learning comes first and one should always seek to better oneself, that is what I am doing. Why am I being punished for following the rules?”
“You have broken rules 105 and 107,” he seethed.
“An unfortunate consequence of obeying rules 23 and 462,” she nodded solemnly.
Lan Qiren looked on the verge of qi deviation as the junior disciples muffled their laughter and the senior disciples gawked at little Lan Lu’s audacity.
“If you are going to insist I be punished,” Lan Lu continued, “then I would like to remind acting sect leader Lan Qiren of the rules he has broken today.”
“What?” Lan Qiren growled.
“The first rule you broke was running through Cloud Recesses.”
“YOU BLEW UP A TRAINING AREA!!” roared Lan Qiren, interrupting her.
Lan Lu blinked and tilted her head slightly, “So you’re saying there were extenuating circumstances.”
“Exten- OF COURSE THERE WERE EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES!!”
“I understand,” Lan Lu nodded. “It’s fine to break the rules provided there are extenuating circumstances.”
Lan Qiren spluttered but Lan Lu continued.
“You also broke; do not succumb to rage, do not shout, nurture aspirations, do not sabotage others efforts, and do not interrupt. May I ask what acting sect leader intends for his punishment?”
Lan Qiren’s eyes rolled up into the back of his head as he fainted.
“Master Lan,” fretted the disciples and Lan Qiren was quickly speed walked to the infirmary, leaving Lan Lu and Lan Ren alone by the scorched training field.
Lan Lu watched them go before returning to her seal that should have exploded a plume of fire upwards and not outwards.
Lan Ren cracked an eye open as the disciples left, then glanced at his sister for a moment before yawning and going back to sleep.
In some ways Lan Ren courtesy name Luren was easier to deal with than his younger twin, in others he was worse.
Much worse.
Lan Ren was a sloth, and when challenged about his lazy behaviour he always repeated the same thing.
“I am reflecting.”
In a clan descended from monks there was no comeback for that, especially not when reflecting was supposed to be a punishment and not a pastime.
Those brave or annoyed enough to ask what he was reflecting on received appropriately monk-like answers.
“The existence of clouds” was the most common answer he gave and “Life” was a close second.
His schoolwork was also suffering as a result of his laziness. So much so the teachers went to his parents and when they failed to motivate him they went to his sister.
Lan Lu looked confused for a moment when they explained what they wanted from her before giving them a patient and understanding smile, “You don’t need to worry, my brother knows exactly how much effort he can put into not doing something.”
So yeah. Asking her had been a waste of time and they went back to trying to motivate Lan Ren into working harder.
It was two weeks later and with no change in Lan Ren’s demeanor or test results and more than a few grey hairs between them, they went back to Lan Lu and begged her to do something.
“My brother gets those scores on purpose,” Lan Lu explained patiently.
The teachers all stared at her with varying degrees of skepticism.
She sighed, “Despite narrowly scraping through every test he hasn’t failed a single one. With the broad range of topics we’re taught you can’t really have thought that was a coincidence.”
“That’s impossible!” refuted one of the teachers. “He’d have to know almost everything about every subject!”
“Yes,” agreed Lan Lu.
“But-But if he knows it then why doesn’t he score better?!” demanded another.
“His goal is to pass, once he’s done that he’ll return to doing what he wants.”
“How is knowing when you’ve scored enough to pass even possible?!” cried another teacher.
“Once you know most of the topic and figure out the scoring system it’s easy, I could do it if I wanted and my brother is a lot smarter than me.”
That was the day the teacher’s of the Lan sect understood.
Lan Lu may disrupt the peace, cause the most headaches, and drive even the calmest Lan into a frenzy, but it was Lan Ren who by doing nothing made you fall into a deep pit of despair.
The twins weren’t the only problem children to be born into Cloud Recesses that year.
Oh no.
Lan Dao courtesy name Daozi was the perfect Lan, until he opened his mouth.
No matter how often it was explained to him, he just couldn’t seem to understand what an insult was or more importantly recognise when he was insulting someone.
To make matters worse, queen of comebacks Lan Lu liked him.
No one really understood the significance of this until sect leader Jin Guangshan arrived for sect related business, and was accosted in the middle of the courtyard by little Lan Dao.
“Welcome sect leader Jin,” greeted Lan Dao performing a perfect salute, “please remember that promiscuity is forbidden in Cloud Recesses.”
The whole courtyard froze as Jin Guangshan turned red and Lan Qiren’s mouth dropped open.
“Also disturbing female cultivators is prohibited, venturing out at night is prohibited, causing noise is prohibited, bullying the weak is prohibited, arrogance is forbidden, do not disrespect the younger, do not be haughty and complacent, do not praise yourself and slander others, do not say one thing and mean another, do not build wealth by abusing others, do not wallow in luxury and pleasure, speak meagerly, do not envy those who win over you, do not look down on those who lose to you, and finally sneering is prohibited,” Lan Dao once again performed a perfect salute. “Please enjoy your stay.”
He straightened and calmly walked past Jin Guangshan and into the library pavilion.
Later Lan Dao was summoned to Lan Qiren’s office to explain himself.
“I was ensuring sect leader Jin knew the rules so he is not punished for breaking any,” said Lan Dao and a vein pulsed on Lan Qiren’s temple.
“Why exactly did you feel the need to recite some of our rules to Jin Guangshan the moment he arrived?!” demanded Lan Qiren.
Lan Dao was unfazed by his anger, “Lan Lu presented me with information on all the sect leaders and suggested I read it. It informed me sect leader Jin breaks multiple of our rules on a daily basis, so I informed him of the ones he was most likely to break.”
Lan Qiren’s expression darkened as he realised he couldn’t punish the boy.
Not only was there no rule preventing you from telling outsiders the rules, it was actively encouraged.
“You’re dismissed,” he snarled.
Lan Dao performed a flawless salute with his infuriating bland smile, and left.