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Dab was breathing heavy and ran his hand up and down Hawks sweaty body. He loved when hawks rode him. The man looked like an angel when he spread out his wings, not that he'd ever admit that sappy shit. After mostly catching his breath he pushed gently against Hawks and turned his head away from him as he tried to pull him into a kiss.
"Nope, three is enough you slut."
Hawks laughed and rolled off of him. "Damn, you have the stamina of an old man. Your Viagra run out?" he continued to laugh as Dabi shoved lightly at his shoulder.
"Shut up, I'm going to sleep." He said, rolling to face away from Hawks.
"Aw, I don't be mad babe, your dicks perfect." He snorted.
He could feel Hawks looking at him so he rolled over to face him, and looked into his sweet honey eyes. His sunshine eyes were soft and a little sleepy crinkled a bit at the corners from his smile. The smiling he gave him was so soft and open, something about his look made it hard to breathe. It was like a weight was on his chest as it clicked. He knew what he was going to say before he said it, his entire being screaming for Hawks to stop, to not ruin this.
"I think I love you." Hawk's voice was low and soft, the words too sweet.
No. Stop no. Dabis eyes widened and jumped up and out of the bed. His head was full of static. Hawks was talking but his ears were stuffed with cotton as he quickly pulled on his pants and shirt.
His heart was pounding as he walked out of the apartment, hands shaking as he pulled on his boots and lit the feathers chasing after him on fire. The moment he’d turned away from the door he ran.
With no thought and no destination in mind, Dabi simply ran, literally trying to run from his feelings.
Unfortunately, that is not possible. He would know as it's a skill he’d been perfecting all his life, but this time it caught up with him.
He slowed down and entered an alleyway in a more run-down part of town. He didn't know exactly where he was but he'd managed to get pretty far even with his smoke abused lungs.
He leaned against the old, crumbling brick of the building, and just breathed.
In and out, in and out. He focused on the rhythm, slowing down till he went slack against the wall, all energy leaving him.
He had only a moment of peace before everything caught up to him. His mind was flooded and his heart hurt so bad he grabbed at the front of his shirt, pushing into his chest like that would help.
What had he just done? What the hell had he just done!
Dabi held back the strong urge to slam his head against a wall and instead grabbed at his fluffy hair, messing up whatever order it was in.
Well, there was really only one thing left for Dabi to do. He took a deep breath and deflated. He hunched his shoulders and put his hands in his pockets.
He checked his phone for the time and grimaced when he saw the 20 text messages and 9 missed calls he had from Hawk's burner phone.
The phone screen read 4:34 am. The sky was just starting to lighten, the inky black lightning into a deep indigo, the brightest stars still barely visible.
After catching his breath he made his way on shaky legs to where he'd always go to sulk.
The walk wasn't far from the hideout, down a few blocks and down an alleyway lead to the old, splintered door. He did the special knock and Spinner opened the door. He looked at Dabi with a raised eyebrow but Dabi just pushed past him. The hideout was another old bar. The dining area emptied of most of its tables to make room for the league's coach and TV.
"Just don't." He said, stopping any questions from Spinner.
"Didn't say anything." He said before returning to a stool in front of the bar.
Dabis boots left the floorboards creaking.
The TV was off and only Kurogiri was up, stationed behind the bar. Did he even need to sleep? Whatever, Dabi just needed a drink.
He plopped his ass in a hard stool, pleather peeling from it.
"Whiskey," he said leaning heavily on the bar top.
If Dabi cared more, he'd ask why Spinner was awake at the buttcrack of dawn but he was not a nosy bitch so he kept quiet and nursed his drink. All three of them just spent time in the same space, not interacting.
Three sips in Dabi remembered he hated whiskey. Shit, it didn't matter, he just needs the alcohol. And yet, the feeling of the liquid in his empty stomach makes him feel even worse. With a deep sigh, he pushed away the drink and just laid his head against the perfectly polished bar top.
"What's got you so fucked up?" Spinner mumbled, giving him the side-eye as he enjoyed his mug of, was that floral tea?
"Hawks love me." What the fuck is wrong with him. Instantly he regretted ever learning how to speak.
"And that's a bad thing? Thought you'd be happy to finally stop pinning."
Dabi snapped up in his seat glaring at Spinner. "I haven't been fucking pinning after Hawks." He said.
Kurogiri placed a glass he was polishing down. "Now spinner, Dabi lacks emotional intelligence."
Dabi started to heat up, indignant when Kurogiri hit him with the hard question.
"What did you say to him?”
Dabi deflated. He must have been really exhausted because he kept talking. "I didn't say anything, I just left."
There was a moment of awkward silence before Kurogiri spoke again. "Because you don't actually love him."
Not raising his head Dabi simply shook his head.
"So, you ran away because you love him. I'm sorry Dabi, but I fail to understand your logic here."
"I don't know either," he mumbled, stuck in a pity party.
Spinner let out a dramatic sigh. "I'll be straight. The problem is you're thinking of yourself. For so long all you had was yourself, so the thought of having another person care about you, and for you to care about them is terrifying. It means someone is relying on you. And selfishly you up and run from it." Dabi stared at Spinner, wide-eyed. The other placed a hand on his shoulder and promptly shoved him off the stool.
Even the impact of his bony ass on the bumpy hardwood floor didn't knock Dabi out of his shock.
Spinner was the last person Dabi expected to get therapist advice from but fuck it, maybe him writing off Spinner as just an insane stain stan was wrong and he needed to be less judgmental… ok, one personality flaw at a time.
Spinner must have gotten pissed at Dabis' blatant shock as he kicked at him, finally breaking Dabi from his trance.
"Stop looking at me like that! If you weren't such a distant asshole you'd know I was a psychology student. Now go makeup with Hawks." Spinner faced forward taking a drink. "God knows he could do so much better."
Dabi stood throwing his coat on. "Fuck you too. Wait, when did you and Hawks become close?"
"He gets me limited edition sain merch." He shrugged, "besides, I always respect my fellow mutant types."
It was mid-day when he finally made it back to Hawk's apartment. He stood in front of the pristine beige door, utterly terrified.
Was Hawks mad? Would he take Dabi back after he just bolted? Working about it would do no good, it was time to face his shit.
He kicked once and waited. Then he knocked twice, a little louder, and waited again. Dammit, what if he wasn't home? He always worked this time of day. Well, guess this was not in the cards and he’ll just come back later and-shit the doorknob was turning.
Hawks looked a mess. His usual sexy wind tussle hair was ratty and puffed from being run through. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. His expression was one of annoyance that quickly devolved into distrust, Hawks walls going up immediately.
Dabis mouth went dry and his head was blank. He'd spent the entire long walk here rehearsing everything he wanted to say, but standing here all he could think of was one thing.
"I love you." He blurted out. Hawks eyes widened but he missed most of his reaction as he immediately dropped his head into his hands. Dabi had always been razor-sharp, but being around Hawks really turned him into an idiot.
"Ya know what, I'm just going to go." He said quickly turning on his heels, eyes trained at the floor.
He let out an embarrassing squeak as lean arms wrapped around his slim frame and the beat of wings pulled him into Hawk's apartment.
His stomach turned as he tried to steady at the fast movement into the living room.
He became acutely aware of the hard and slim body pushed up against his back.
"Uh, birdie?" He tried, confused until he heard the soft sound of crying and felt the small shaking.
Panicked, he turned in Hawk's arms and saw his face skewed up in the cutest expression, little tears escaping from his puffy eyes. The sight squeezed Dabis small coal heart, knowing he was the cause of Hawks' pain. Without much thought, he pulled hawks close holding him as his face was bearded in the crock of his neck.
After a long moment of just holding the man, he heard him mumble into his shirt.
"I missed that, birdy."
Hawks pulled his face away, tears stopped. "If you do, well, love me then why did you run. Why did you just leave me like that."
"I was a chicken shit and couldn't face possibly disappointing you." His through tried to close on him but he swallowed hard and spoke, "I've disappointed everyone who claimed to love me. So if you do, eventually I'll disappoint you too."
"That's not possible." Hawks had begun to smile, "can't disappoint me if I have no expectations for you in the first place."
Dabi returned the smile. "Fuck you birdy."
"Hum is that a promise." The kiss was desperate and passionate and messy.
Hawks pulled away first, catching his breath, his face went soft, the look he had that morning. "You're the first person I've ever loved," Dabi could tell Hawks was going to try to explain his past. He already knew and didn't want to make Keigo bring up his trama so he cut him off with a short kiss.
"You don't have to explain yourself birdie, you're the first person I've wanted to love." Dabi caught his lips again.