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George watched Owen faffing around with his bags, preparing to leave; the fond look on his face evident even though his smile was hidden by his mask. He startled when Richard spoke from next to him. “Are you ok?”
“Hmm?” George dragged his gaze away from Owen to look at their Team Manager.
“Are you ok?” Richard repeated, looking at him closely. “And don’t deflect,” he added, as George started to brush the question off. George deflated slightly, glancing back to Owen, who had noticed them talking and was looking over, poised like he wanted to get up and join them. George shook his head minutely and Owen sank back onto his haunches, his forehead still creased.
Richard watched them carefully, before making an executive decision. “Come with me.”
George followed without protest.
They ducked into an empty conference room and George perched on the edge of a table, Richard taking a seat across from him. They sat in silence for moment, until Richard prompted George into talking.
“I realise we are so lucky to be here, to be training and playing, even in this weird situation, but in some ways it might have been easier not being called up at all.” He paused for a moment, fiddling with his fingers. “Neither of us want special treatment, and the excuse of ‘tackle’ training has been so welcome, but...” George trailed off.
“But it feels a bit like torment. Missing him would be easier if he wasn’t right there.”
“Being so close to him and not being able to touch him freely feels like being shoved back into a closet I was never in.” At Richard’s curious look, he expanded. “We grew up together, in and around camps, and we’ve always been physically affectionate and open, checking in on each other in plain sight. Not like throwing our relationship in people’s faces, or at least not trying to, because that’s ours, but…” George took a breath, gathering himself. “Lenny said the other day that he’d realised one of the things that felt odd about this camp was that me and Owen didn’t touch. That the absence of that touch felt strange to him." George looked back over trying to gauge Richard’s reaction.
Richard considered this, “huh, he’s right. That absence of touch is noticeable. Owen’s more obvious about aborting actions.” This time George looked over in question. “He reaches for you more. Not so much in training, he’s too professional for that, but outside of that. You have more control, but every so often you slip too.” George snorted looking down at the floor. “But if Lenny’s noticed and it’s strange to him then what does that feel like for you?” George refused to look up, his shoulders hunching. “It hurts.” Richard murmured, answering himself. “But you’re going home together now, for the next four days, right?”
George let out a mirthless bark of laughter. “Of course. Neither of us has training obligations. So, yeah, taking advantage.”
“That’s good. I’m sorry I can’t do more now but don’t feel like it’s special treatment if we need to bend the rules slightly to ensure your mental health.”
George’s head shot up.
Richard laughed softly, “we’re trying not to let it just be lip service. And emotional health is just as important, especially when it impacts your playing. The tackle training you mentioned? After the first morning John sent you off to do that? The session was intense, and the pair of you raised the rest of the squad too. We notice.”
George just stared at him open-mouthed for a moment. Richard laughed again, “Come on, let’s go find your boy and get out of here for a few days.”
George followed him out but stopped him at the door. “Thank you. For noticing, and then listening and understanding.”
Richard nodded, “You’re welcome.”
To no one’s surprise Owen was hovering outside the door, trying, and failing, to look casual. Richard laughed at them both and went on his way with a nod to Owen. George laughed softly at him too, and Owen looked at him curiously. “Everything good?”
“Yeah, let’s go home.”
They arrived back at The Lensbury on Thursday. As usual they were amongst the first back and they sat in the car for a long moment, just holding hands. They checked in, careful to observe social distancing once again even though they’d been living together. George felt a sting in his chest, but as he’d told Richard they’d asked for no special treatment. Except… Except Richard pressed an additional key into his hand as they paused to greet him on the way to the lifts. They were in neighbouring rooms which felt like a curse until George looked around and realised the key Richard had given him was to the adjourning door between their rooms. He laughed and opened the door.