Chapter Text
“You need to repeat that. One more time.”
“You. Me. Romantic vacation. To-ge-ther. Picture it, big guy: one luxury hotel suite. Couples spa day. The whole nine!”
Enji’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance and really, he deserved the number one spot just for the patience he had with Hawks at this and practically every given moment. “Get out of my office. ”
“Number One! C’mon! How are you going to pass up an opportunity like that?!” Hawks whined as he tried his very best to give Enji puppy dog eyes.
“Easily. Like this: get out of my office,” he repeated before continuing the paperwork he’d been attempting to work on before he had been so rudely interrupted.
“Okay, okay. What if I clarified and said it was for a case?”
Enji paused mid-pen stroke to look back up to Hawks. “What case could possibly involve a … How did you put it? ‘Romantic vacation’ and ‘couples spa day’ with you?”
“First off: ouch,” Hawks said as he moved to sit on the edge of Enji’s desk, causing the hero to lean back in his chair just to give him space between the two of them. “Secondly: an undercover operation.”
Hawks took the time to dig a flash drive out of his pocket, tossing it to Enji who caught it with ease. Popping it into his computer, he frowned as he looked over the files that appeared.
“There’s a big name couple’s retreat in America that the American government thinks is trafficking people. Civilians and heroes disappearing without a trace after conveniently attending this retreat. There hasn’t been enough evidence for them to bust the organizers yet. However they’re doing it … It’s good,” Hawks explains. “Usually, couples go there, get some quality R&R, make cutesy social media posts about how much their love for one another’s grown, then supposedly go home. Except … No one can confirm that anyone ever makes it home. Families get phone calls that they made it home safe. Jobs get phone calls or emails about being too sick to come into work … Eventually, someone gets suspicious enough to check it out, only to see no one home. Whether or not they ever made it home and disappeared afterwards is anyone’s guess.”
Opening files and briefly scanning them, Enji frowned deeper, “What about travel? Wouldn’t there be evidence of them getting on a plane?”
“If they took a plane to get there, they cancelled their reservations. There’s evidence that family members who were supposed to pick some of the couples up from the airport also got texts or phone calls that the couple decided to take a more personal mode of transportation, like a car, even though there’s no records of any cars being rented or train tickets being purchased. Additionally, none of the family members ever saw these couples in a video call or text photos. Just random social media pictures throughout the week, then … Nothing.”
“That should be enough for the authorities to search the retreat.”
“C’mon big guy … You don’t think they didn’t check into that? The place was squeaky clean. That’s the problem. They don’t know what’s going on and that’s why they need someone undercover.”
“Then they get someone else. Not the top two from another country!”
Hawks paused, a grin spreading across his face, “So you’d totally fake date me?!”
Enji glanced up from the files, a confused look on his face, “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t not say it! You were only worried about our notoriety! Not having to fake date me!”
“That should go without saying.”
Hawks grinned more, swinging his legs from his perch on the edge of Enji’s desk. “Yeah, yeah. They’re hoping we’d be good bait. Think about this: you’re trafficking civilians and heroes,” He nodded towards the computer, “Some of those aren’t weak heroes. One of them was ranked number seven in America. What if you could get the number one and number two heroes from Japan? Cha-CHING! That’s one hell of a payday.”
Enji couldn’t argue with that.
“That works for the villains here too. Rings like this are rarely based in one country. No doubt they’ve got connections here. Say they’re able to get rid of the number one and two here? Well … We’re already licking our wounds after our last rumble with the League of Villains. That’s just icing on the cake,” Hawks said, giving a shrug. “If they were smart … The ring would get in touch with their contacts here, offer up getting rid of us for a price, then … Sell us again after they did whatever they’re doing to these people. That’s just good business.”
Enji frowned at the mention of ‘good’ business. Technically it was a good business move, but this was people’s lives they were talking about. Nothing about that was a ‘good’ business. He watched as Hawks hopped off his desk, stretching slightly before throwing a dopey grin his way.
“So what’d’ya say? Wanna fake-bang on another country’s dime?”
There were so many things wrong with this. If Enji had the time, he could write an entire dissertation as to why this was a bad idea. At the end of the day, however … If this would save countless lives and if he was the only one who could help Hawks with it, there really was only one answer.
“We’re not fake banging,” He said gruffly. “I’ll do it.”
“Oh, so we’re going to bang for real?”
Hawks squawked and jumped out of the way as Enji sent a blast of fire in his direction, nearly burning a section of his wings and definitely burning off the hem of his jacket.
To say his regret was almost immediate might’ve been an understatement. He’d been coaxed out of his office during his lunch break two days later to meet with Hawks regarding the case; which, he had expected. Hawks, for all his stupid antics, was a good hero and had thoroughly earned the second place position. Of course he would want to meet up to discuss their approach to the case (especially when Hawks knew he could get a free meal out of it).
What he hadn’t expected was for Hawks to plop a small stack of papers down in front of him with the top page reading: “DATE IDEAS”.
“Boy,” He started, earning an innocent smile from the younger hero as he looked up from the menu he was perusing. “What the hell is this?”
Hawks paused as he looked from Enji to the stack of papers and back again. He let out a low whistle. “No one told me you had trouble reading, Endeavor … Man, I never woulda guessed! You hide it really well! Is this why you never respond to my text messages? That makes a lot more sense, really--”
“Hawks. I. Can. Read,” He grit out, glaring at the paper as if it had personally offended him. “Why is there a list of date ideas sitting in front of me?”
“Uh … For you to look at? See if anything appeals? There’s also some media shit my PR gal said to give to your PR person. Oh! There’s also some social media post suggestions there too. I came up with those,” He said proudly, returning his attention to the menu as if nothing was wrong.
Enji could do this. He could do this and not murder Hawks. Counting to ten in his head, he blew out a puff of steam. “Why is there a list of date ideas sitting in front of me?” He tried again.
Hawks paused, eyeing him for a moment before realization dawned on him. “Oh … Oh you’re serious. You really didn’t think--,” He cut himself off. “Ok, lets order food first, then explanations? I’m starving.”
Waving the waitress over to speed things along, he waited approximately five seconds after they had both ordered and the waitress had stepped away to question him again. “What the hell is this, Hawks?” He asked, motioning to the stack.
“Did you really think that the whole fake dating thing was only going to be for the retreat?”
“When the hell else would it be??” Enji growled out. “If this is some kind of joke--”
“It’s not a joke,” Hawks said, hands raised in defense. “C’mon big guy … Think about it. You’re running a trafficking ring, the cops are hot on your tail looking for evidence, suddenly two heroes from another country who have never shown any kind of affection for one another show up saying they’re a couple? I don’t know about you but I’d be suspicious as hell of that.”
Enji begrudgingly had to agree with that. He crossed his arms over his chest as he sat back in his chair, watching Hawks explain himself.
“In order for this to work … We’ve got to fool everyone. We have to look like a couple so that when we go to a couple’s retreat, it makes sense. That means we need to lay groundwork starting now.” Hawks took a sip of his drink before continuing, “We can always say we’ve been dating in secret for longer than it is, but we gotta start letting it publicly slip that we’re seeing each other.”
Hawks grinned and immediately Enji didn’t like that. That meant Hawks was no doubt about to say something that was going to piss Enji off. The brat loved to just push his buttons.
“Besides, have you seen what some people on the internet are saying after we took down that nomu, Hood, a while back?”
Well … That wasn’t the direction he thought this conversation was going. He really didn’t give a shit what the internet had to say about him. He had people in his actual life whose thoughts about him were far more important than some faceless people on the internet. Enji eyed Hawks with suspicion, “No?”
That shit eating grin got wider and Enji instinctively stiffened in defense. “Seems like some people on the internet think that number one and number two are already a thing thanks to that fight. We don’t even have to try that hard to convince some people!”
What. The. Fuck.
“Aw c’mon big guy … Is it seriously that repulsive to be lumped together with me?” Hawks asked.
Enji nearly snapped ‘Of course!’ before pausing. This was a test. This had to be some sort of test. Of what, he didn’t know. His patience? Instead of answering, he looked back at the stack of papers before returning his attention to Hawks. “So we have to publicly act like we’re dating?”
There was a glimmer of … Something that Enji couldn’t place before Hawks nodded, his usual cocky smile hiding whatever he’d been thinking. “We just have to fool the world that we’re head over heels for each other. No big deal.”
“Okay. Come to my house later. We’ll discuss this,” Enji paused to look around as if finally assessing their surroundings. “Where there’s more privacy.”
Enji wasn’t sure if it crossed Hawks’ mind that ‘no big deal’ for Hawks (single, 23 year old little shit with no family) was, in fact, a big deal for Enji (divorced, 46 years old with a family he was currently struggling to repair his bonds with).
He’d spent most of the day in his office, shirking his paperwork to look over the stack of papers Hawks had brought him. The more he read, the more he regretted his decision to say yes to this case. Surely Hawks could have found someone else? Why did it have to be him ? He had enough personal issues to deal with that didn’t include fake dating someone half his age. Then again, he knew just how much some shady group would no doubt pay to have him, the number one hero in Japan, as their--
Their what?
From the files he’d read over, the authorities still had no clue what exactly became of the people who disappeared. They’d found several of them dead; discarded on the side of random highways or buried in shallow graves. Even the number seven hero that Hawks had pointed out had been found dead recently. The autopsy had shown that they’d gone through some form of torture for months but had provided no further evidence.
Additionally, even if Hawks could find another person to take his place … Could he willingly let Hawks and his replacement go into that kind of danger? Absolutely not. Not after what he’d read in the case file.
Plus, he and Hawks had made a pretty decent team against the high-end nomu, hadn’t they?
That thought sent him on a whole new tangent. People on the internet seriously thought that Endeavor and Hawks were a thing?? He’d been so convinced that Hawks had made it up just to get a rise out of him that it had been one of the first things he’d done an internet search on after lunch.
Hawks hadn’t been lying.
It took a few search pages, but he eventually landed on an entire blog dedicated to mapping out every instance wherein the two of them had interacted with each other, complete with analyses on how that particular instance included sexual tension that obviously meant they were together. It was practically a year’s worth of information: starting from their interactions at the last Hero Billboard Chart JP to present day. The writers had paid interest to his and Hawks’ fight with Hood, but they seemed to heavily focus on their actions against the Paranormal Liberation Front.
They were enamored with how Hawks had courageously infiltrated the League of Villains and fed information seamlessly to Endeavor, of all heroes. With said information, they had been able to stop the Paranormal Liberation Front before their ranks could grow further, but unfortunately not without the League escaping. Shigaraki and the others had run with their tails between their legs while the former Meta Liberation Army took the fall. Sure, they were all nursing wounds and they’d lost some good heroes … But it could have been much worse had the League succeeded in whatever had been planned originally. Hawks and Endeavor’s teamwork had been the talk of the town for months; especially on this blog, it seemed. They’d even analyzed what Endeavor and Hawks’ frequent lunches could mean about the two of them.
He was almost tempted to comment that their lunches were, more often than not, work-related. Of course, that would give away the information that the times when it wasn’t related, Enji and Hawks talked about personal things. Like friends. Friends did that all the time! Were he and Hawks friends? He supposed they must be in order to have had personal conversations like that.
The amount of people writing and conversing with each other over the topic of whether the mighty Endeavor and suave Hawks were a ‘thing’ was … Slightly disturbing. He’d known other heroes to have fan pages like this (Mt. Lady seemed to have many), but he’d never had anything like this. Scowling slightly at the “Official EndHawks Fanclub Blog!!! ” blog title that glared at him, he’d closed the page.
If only the “Official EndHawks Fanclub” knew that Hawks was currently standing in Endeavor’s living room, eyeing the décor curiously. He could only imagine what they would do with that information.
“Your place is very … traditional. Kinda exactly what I expected, to be honest.” Hawks turned to grin, motioning to his face. “As much as I like the whole … Hero mask … I always like seeing this; what you’re hiding underneath. You’re pretty handsome, Number One!”
Enji rolled his eyes, putting the takeout he’d ordered on the dining table for them, along with marked up versions of the papers that Hawks had left him with. Hawks finally wandered over, plopping down in a chair before grinning brightly.
“Yakitori? Aw man, Endeavor, you spoil your boy toy!”
Enji bristled at his comment, slamming a hand down on the table, causing Hawks to pause in his reach for food. “Be serious for once!”
Hawks raised an eyebrow before snatching a few of the skewers. “I am being serious. No one else I’ve dated has bought me yakitori.” He took a bite before chewing thoughtfully. “Unless you meant the ‘boy toy’ comment. Which … Seriously … It’s me. Comments like that are just part of my charm.” Another pause. “Uh … Oh shit. Don’t tell me you’re having like … a mid-life gay crisis … I mean, I know I just kind of assumed you weren’t completely straight but you did agree and--”
“I’m not having a gay crisis!” Enji said, flames framing his face for a moment in his anger. He clenched his fists before taking a deep breath, blowing out steam in order to, quite literally, cool down. “This is a serious case. You need to stop treating this like a big joke!”
“I’m not treating this like a joke, big guy. This is just me. Pure, unfiltered Hawks.” He finished off the skewer he’d been working on, putting the stick down. “It’s seriously not as big of a deal to me that I have to fake date you as you’re making it out to be.”
There it was again. The whole ‘big deal’ issue.
“It is a big deal, Hawks,” Enji said with a scowl. “This isn’t just a fun vacation. We have to fool millions of people. My family --”
Ah. There it was.
Hawks gave a small nod. “I get it. I understand. Look, it’s not like we’ve got to do this forever, okay? This is like … What? Six months overall? Maybe a year, if we get serious curve balls thrown in? We lay the groundwork, we go to the retreat, then afterwards we just say we realized we’re better off being friends and work partners. Yeah … It’s probably gonna be awkward with your family, but your fake boyfriend will be there to help you through it! We don’t even have to do anything differently. We just have to be couple-y in the public’s eye every now and then.”
Eyes roamed over Enji’s face in silence before Hawks let out a sigh. “Look … This is it. If you want to back out, now’s the time. I’ll go ask Miruko.” Something about that comment sat wrong with Enji. “We can’t get halfway through this then … you suddenly get cold feet. It’s just a case. Yeah, we’re gonna get a little touchy-feely. Yeah, it’s gonna be pretty damn weird sometimes. I can almost guarantee you’re gonna singe some of my feathers cause I’m gonna piss you off. But …” Hawks paused as if debating on whether he wanted to continue. “When was the last time you were just … Domestic with another person? Just hung out and watched television? Cuddled? C’mon … Is it all that bad?”
Enji watched as Hawks winced during his speech as if he knew exactly which sore spot he’d hit. Hawks knew his rocky relationship with his family and how he was struggling to repair it. Unfortunately, Hawks had made himself at home in Enji’s office a few months back, waiting for the hero to return, only to have Enji walk in while in the middle of a phone conversation with Fuyumi about Natsuo not wanting to come to the next family dinner. After that, Hawks had innocently made a crack about ‘trouble in paradise?’ which led to an argument, several burnt feathers, a couple bruises, and Enji’s confession that everything in paradise was pretty much on fire and had been for years.
After that, the topic had come up a few times during those ‘personal’ lunch days.
Begrudgingly, Enji crossed his arms and huffed. He’d already decided earlier he wasn’t going to back out of this arrangement. He just didn’t understand why Hawks joked and pretended like there was nothing abnormal about this situation. Undercover missions specifically like this one rarely happened. “I’m not calling it quits.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” Enji said firmly. He wouldn’t add that he’d made that decision before Hawks had arrived there. “There’s going to be ground rules.”
“Aw man … I don’t do so well with rules.”
Enji snorted. That was something he knew all too well; rules were something created for the sole purpose of being broken by Hawks. “Hawks. It’s time to be serious.”
Hawks’ hand paused, skewer hovering halfway between his plate and mouth. “I am being serious!”
Pulling the paperwork out he pushed it towards the other to review. Hawks licked at his fingers before wiping them off with a napkin, grabbing the papers afterwards. “I put a checkmark by the approved date ideas and crossed out ones I absolutely will not do.”
“Most of these are crossed out!” Hawks pouted as he pointed to one that was practically burnt off the page. “This one is obliterated!”
“I’m not going on a base jumping date with you. That makes no sense.”
“Worth a try,” Hawks huffed.
“I’ll give my public relations assistant the information yours passed along. I’m sure they’ll be in contact with each other for when the news hits.”
Hawks froze mid-nod and Enji could see him weighing whether he should ask the question on his mind. “Are you uh … Gonna tell your family before the news hits?”
That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? “It’s better they hear it from me rather than the news. You can come to next week’s family dinner. That gives us a week to prepare.”
Hawks perked up, “Is this where we get to plot our backstory?”
Enji had been dreading this part ever since he saw the ‘OUR LOVE STORY’ page that had hand drawn hearts littering the top with several ideas that Hawks had come up with. He watched as Hawks immediately began digging for that exact page excitedly.
“You know no one would ever believe it if you asked me first, so obviously I would’ve asked you on our first date. You would’ve demanded discretion, which I reluctantly agreed to,” He said, eyes roaming over Enji’s corrections to the suggestions. “Wait-- Why’d you cross out that our first date was ice skating? That was genius! I didn’t even have to consult Ms. Joke for that one!”
Fixing him with a flat stare, he shook his head. “Absolutely not. Our first date was dinner here,” He motioned to the food in front of them as if to explain this was it. This was the first ‘date’. “Discretion means not being seen . You know that.”
“Okay, okay. So … We’ve been dating for seven months? That’s--”
“Right after we took down the Paranormal Liberation Front, yes.”
“Oh my god, did you go with the whole ‘when I saw you hurt, I knew I had feelings for you’ movie plot?”
Enji rolled his eyes, “Technically, you did. Remember? You asked me out.”
Hawks thought it over before grinning, “Yeah, that seems legit.” He took another bite of food before nodding, “Alright … Yeah. This works out. Now we can get to the more important questions.”
“I thought we just did.”
“No way!” Hawks leaned forward on a hand, giving that sly grin once again that just spelled trouble. “What’s your favorite thing about me?”
“That’s not one of the things we have to plan.”
“Enji. We’re supposed to be dating. Someone’s bound to ask you.”
“What did you call me?”
“Enji?”
He stared at Hawks suspiciously, as if his wings had suddenly turned black, “... You called me by my name?”
“It’d be really weird to call my boyfriend by his hero name all the time,” Hawks said with a laugh as if it was the most obvious thing. “Better get used to it, big guy. I mean, I guess I could do it in the bedroom,” He said with a wink before continuing on as if he hadn’t just brought the conversation back to the topic of ‘fake banging’. “Now … What’s your favorite thing about me?”
That was at least an easy question for him. “Your tenacity. And your brains … When you’re not purposely being an idiot.” Hawks seemed caught off guard by how easily Enji had been able to answer the question. “What?”
“Nothing! Nothing at all! Just … Figured you’d take a little longer to y’know, scrounge up some reason.”
Enji rolled his eyes. “I don’t hate you, Hawks. You annoy me to no end and yes, there are some days I’d rather chuck you off the roof of a building, but I don’t actually hate you. If your bird brain couldn’t piece it together, I don’t spend time with people not worth my time.”
Oh and that-- Well, that seemed to shut Hawks up for a moment. Did Hawks seriously think that Enji thought so little of him? Sure, he could be the most aggravating person he interacted with, but it wasn’t as though he was spending his lunch breaks with any other heroes besides Hawks.
Well … Shit. When he put it that way, he supposed he could understand how the Official EndHawks Fanclub could misconstrue their friendship.
“Was this supposed to stroke your ego or did it have a purpose?”
Thankfully, that seemed to snap Hawks back to it. His lazy grin returned as if nothing had been wrong, “‘Course! It’s what people in relationships do, y’know?” He didn’t want to bring up the fact that Enji’s previous relationship hadn’t gone exactly … Well. “Look, if we’ve been dating for so long, we gotta be comfortable with each other. You know what that means?”
Finally picking up one of the skewers, he took a bite thoughtfully. Swallowing, he frowned, “We have to have conversations like this?”
“Yeah, but also … We gotta touch. I’m sayin’ this now ‘cause I’d really, really, really like to keep all my feathers right now and not have them burnt off. I’m pretty attached to them. Pun intended … Sort of?”
Enji narrowed his eyes. This was heading into ‘Hawks is yet again fucking with me’ territory. “Why would we have to ‘touch’? And just what the hell do you mean ‘touch’??”
“I-- … Wait, are you serious, Number One?” Hawks asked before taking the scowl that was forming on Enji’s face as ‘oh he’s dead serious’. “Okay, we’ve supposedly been dating for seven months. There’s pretty much no way in hell we haven’t fuck--” He paused as he saw another small anger flame (as Hawks was now going to refer to it) lick up Enji’s face. “Okay, no more talking about our theoretical sex life. Anyways … There’s no way in hell we haven’t kissed, let alone held hands or something little like that. I mean … Seven months, Enji. That’s a long time to be serious about each other and not touch.”
As much as Enji wanted to argue the point, he conceded. Hawks was, unfortunately, right. Sex was easy to explain away, but holding hands? Kissing? That was a lot harder to excuse. “Fine. Are we going to go over PDA-acceptability now?”
“Ouch. Y’know, you’re definitely just punching holes in my self-confidence, here. Would it really be that bad to be in a relationship with me?”
“Yes,” Enji said, deadpan. “I’d have to buy stock in migraine medication.”
Hawks barked out a laugh at this. “You’ve got jokes! Oh man … Miruko is never gonna believe that.”
Enji frowned a moment, “You’re not going to tell her we’re fake dating, are you? If my family can’t know--”
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down. I didn’t say I’d tell her about the fake dating. Just that my boyfriend has jokes!” Hawks cleared his throat, puffing his chest and feathers out some as a caricature of … himself? “Rumi! My lucky rabbit foot! Did I ever tell you about how the first time I asked Enji whether he’d ever date me, he made a joke and said he’d have to buy stock in migraine medication?”
He was quickly running out of patience and he could feel the familiar throb of a headache that had silently been forming since lunch. Instead, he decided to focus on grabbing another skewer to eat, “Hawks. Focus. PDA.”
Hawks gave a lazy shrug, “I’m fine with anything. I mean … Except maybe public sex. We should probably wait til at least our one year anniversary for that.”
“HAWKS!"
Once again, Hawks was cackling as Enji ground his teeth together, letting out steam between clenched teeth as he resisted the urge to roast the bird sitting across from him. It took a few moments before Hawks was wiping at his eyes, trying to make sure he didn’t smudge his eyeliner as he regained his composure.
“Ugh … S-Sorry, man. You make it so easy sometimes,” Hawks said, the remnants of his laughter still shaking through his body. “But … Seriously, I’m fine with anything. What about you?”
“No kissing. We can hold hands.”
“What? Seriously, man?” Hawks asked with a pout. “What about like … A little peck? That’s not even bad! That’s not like asking for a hot and heavy makeout session in a dark alley after chasing down some baddies!” Enji nearly fell into the trap of whether or not Hawks had seriously imagined such a scenario before Hawks continued, a sad look on his face that … Well shit, it made Enji feel guilty. “Fine, fine. No kissing. But I’m gonna hold the shit out of your hand.”
“That’s settled then.”
“So … We got a week til the bimonthly Todoroki Family dinner. Wanna practice?” Hawks asked, wagging his brows.
Enji wasn’t going to rise to the bait this time. Instead, he took pleasure in the surprise on Hawks’ face when he said, “Fine. Let’s watch a movie. We can go over more tomorrow.”
Standing and leading Hawks towards the living room, he could hear how it took several moments before Hawks’ brain caught up to Enji’s comment and implication that they would get to watch a movie like a couple on Enji’s couch, followed by Hawks launching up from his seat to eagerly trail behind the other hero.
Enji hoped he didn’t regret every moment of this case.