Chapter Text
Tommy was still getting used to all the affection. It wasn’t something he was accustomed to. Some days when the pain was really bad, he’d reach out and hold onto them. He was starved for it, deprived of it all his life, and he wanted to get as much as he could to make up for it.
Other days, he wasn’t so affectionate. Sometimes he liked to pick fights. He was easing into the family slowly but surely. He backpedaled a bit. They’d make good progress one day and then go back a few the next.
Tommy would be perfectly fine sneaking into Techno’s room, but sometimes he snaps and suddenly wants to be left alone.
It was fine. They all were careful to provide comfort and also give him space.
Still, the abuse that had been done to him over the years was no doubt worsening.
Tommy’d learned to deal with it. He learned to ignore the constant want to be held, to be loved. He’d been fine without it.
Now that he has it? Everything’s falling apart, but it’s not at the same time.
He can’t talk about it as easily as the others can. Even when they asked him what his life was like before, he shut down. They didn’t push it.
But Tommy couldn’t stop thinking about it.
One morning, Tommy woke after a few fitful hours of sleep. He found Wilbur in the kitchen, who silently slid a hot mug of tea across the counter. He cupped it to his mouth, blew on it, and sipped at it.
“Do you have lots of work to do today?” Tommy asked, kicking his legs under the table.
Wilbur hummed, staring blankly into space. “I finished most of it last night…”
“You look like proper shit,” Tommy said, climbing up to sit on his knees. “You need your beauty sleep.”
Techno, yawning, walked into the kitchen, leaning over Wilbur to snatch the mug out of his hand before chugging it. Wilbur blinked out of his trance and scowled at him as he spit it out. “What the fuck is this?”
“What do you think it is, Techno?”
Techno wiped at his mouth, going to brew himself some coffee. “Damn, someone didn’t sleep well.” Wilbur pressed his forehead against the table. “For once, I did. I feel great.” He stretched his arms over his head. “I could go for a marathon, right about now.” Wilbur let out a loud groan before covering his ears. “Come on, you big baby.” He dragged Wilbur out of the chair and dragged him to his room.
Tommy peered into his empty mug. He hadn’t realized he’d drank it so fast. He slipped out of his chair, not noticing his feet had gone numb from sitting weirdly. He gasped, crashing into the ground, the mug shattering in pieces.
Techno threw the groggy man on the bed and yanked the blankets over his head. “Leave the all-nighters to me, alright?”
“I gotta take Tommy to school,” he mumbled weakly.
“I got it,” he cooed. “Just lay down.” Wilbur was too tired to argue and fell back on the bed.
Techno tucked a strand of hair out of his face. He hadn’t even had time to fix his hair, and it was frizzy and kept getting in his face. He was pulling his hair into a messy ponytail when he noticed Tommy was missing.
He didn’t think too much about it until he rounded the corner and saw him on his knees with his hands clasped over his mouth. His fingers were cut, and there was a blood splatter on the floor.
Techno staggered at the sight of blood. Pushing past it, he quickly made his way to Tommy. “Tommy? What happened?”
If he heard him, he didn’t show it. His eyes were trained on the shattered pieces on the floor, blown wide. He was trembling, hunched over the broken mug.
“Tommy?” When he touched him, he yanked him out of his trance. He gasped loudly, grabbing at the pieces, not even flinching as he cut his hand again.
“I’m so,” he sobbed, “I’m, fuck, I’m so sorry! It was an accident - I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t… It just…”
Techno stared back in horror. He didn’t know where to start. “Don’t touch it, Tommy. You’ll hurt yourself.” He didn’t respond, kept trying to scoop the pieces into his hand. “ Tommy .”
“I dropped it,” he said, voice cracking at the end. “I broke it.” He reached out, bloody fingers latching on to Techno. He faltered back, unable to look at the blood spill. “Techno?”
Fuck.
“We can get a new mug,” he explained through gritted teeth. “We just need to get you cleaned--” He broke off suddenly, turning away again. He can’t look at him. There’s just too much…
Techno fled, unable to look behind him. He clutched his chest tightly before running out the door.
--
Phil was so exhausted. As much as he loves his job, he wishes he didn’t have to be away so much. He just got a new addition to the family, and he wanted to be home more often. He thinks of asking for a maternity leave, but it’s highly unlikely he’ll get one.
When he pulled into the driveway and saw the door was wide open, his heart dropped. He parked the car quickly before running in.
The house was dead silent. “Boys?” he called out. No response.
He searched the rooms but found no sign of life. No one in the living room. He rushed into the kitchen. No one was there either - just a pool of blood and shattered pieces.
Oh fuck.
He spotted Tommy, who was curled up in the corner. He was hunched over incredibly small with his hands over his ears. His back was to him.
“Tommy?” he called out warily, and Tommy spun around, revealing his tear-stained face.
“I’m so fucking sorry!” he apologized, sinking against the wall. He scrambled to get away from him, and Phil stopped, not wanting to take another step.
“I’m not mad,” he explained calmly. “I just want to know what happened.”
“It’s all my fault. I did it. I broke it, and he got mad at me because it’s all my--”
“Tommy,” Phil interjected roughly, “tell me what happened. I’m not mad.”
He looked up and broke into fresh tears. “I drove him away. He left.” He clutched at his chest and sobbed. “I broke the mug, and he left.”
“Oh, Tommy, it’s okay,” he soothed, but he wasn’t listening. “He didn’t leave, okay? You didn’t drive him out.”
Tommy shook his head frantically. “I ruined everything.”
Phil crouched down. “He’s scared, Tommy.” He couldn’t look at him. “Techno gets scared sometimes, and that’s why he left.”
“He hates me.”
“He loves you.”
How could he prove it to him?
“I’m gonna go bring him home,” Phil said. “Can you come with me?”
Tommy took in a shaky breath. “He doesn’t-- He won’t want to see me. Not after I--”
“I’d feel much more calm if you were safe with me, and Techno will want to see you,” he explained. A thought popped into his head. “How about Wilbur?”
“He’s asleep.”
“You can stay with Wilbur, or you can come with me.”
“He’ll jus’ get mad again. If he sees me.”
“He won’t get mad.”
He stepped in closer to Tommy, who hesitantly accepted the hand to help him to his feet. His knuckles were covered in dry blood, and he walked on shaky feet to the car.
Tommy was silent as the car started up, engine roaring as he backed out of the driveway. “Are you mad at me?”
Phil wasn’t annoyed. “No,” he said. “I’m not mad.” It hardly did anything to settle his nerves. “Techno going out wasn’t your fault.” Tommy looked out the window, eyes scanning the streets. “Sometimes…” he started, choosing his words carefully, “Techno gets thoughts.”
He didn’t look at him, but he didn’t have to. He knew he was listening to every word.
“He… He doesn’t understand sometimes. He can get confused. Seeing you hurt set him off.” Tommy flinched. “It was an accident, that’s all. He doesn’t like looking at blood.” He hid his knuckles. “He should be calm by now. He’s beating himself up for running off, I promise.”
They parked at a playground, and they climbed out of the car. There wasn’t anyone out at the park this late in the rain.
“Why’re we here?” Tommy asked, a little dazed as Phil walked across the bridge to a small grove of trees. Phil walked down the steps where Techno was, hugging his knees to his chest.
Tommy hid behind Phil. “I’m sorry,” Techno broke out. There was a trail of ducklings on the pond. “I didn’t mean to run.”
“You’re not hurt?”
Techno shifted, reluctantly pulling out his own bloody knuckles. Compared to Tommy’s, his was a lot worse. Tommy gasped, and Techno reeled his head around. “Tommy.” He flinched, and devastation washed over Techno. “I’m sorry for doing that.”
“You’re hurt.”
Techno smiled pitifully as Phil took his hand in his. “Not as bad as usual,” he noted, inspecting the cuts. “Good thing I have a hospital’s worth of bandages at home.”
“As usual?” Tommy mumbled, peering from behind him to look at his knuckles. Techno offered his hand to Tommy, who cautiously reached out. He waited for Techno to strike him, but it never came. He grabbed his hand and lifted it carefully in front of his face. “Why?”
“Got mad. Punched a tree.” Tommy dropped his hand like it was burning hot. “Wasn’t mad at you, Tommy.”
“Why did you run?”
Phil had already told him, but it wasn’t the same as coming from the man himself. “I thought I hurt you.” When Tommy opened his mouth, he continued, “I know I didn’t, but I don’t think rationally. I know I didn’t, but I thought I was going to be a danger to you.”
“You thought you were gonna hurt me?” He looked to his knuckles. “But you… you hurt yourself instead.” Techno nodded.
“Accidents happen,” Phil repeated. “It’s not anyone’s fault. No one could have prevented this. Everyone’s fine, and that’s all that matters.”
“I would rather die than ever lay a hand on you,” Techno said, grabbing Tommy roughly by his shoulders. “I promise, I would kill myself before hurting you. I swear it, Tommy, I’d--”
“You won’t hurt anyone,” Phil soothed, trying to cut him off before it triggered Tommy. If his shallowed breathing was anything to go off of, it was too late. “Tommy’s okay. See? Look at him. He’s fine, and you didn’t do anything bad.”
“I abandoned you because I had to,” Techno explained.
“I didn’t like it when you left,” Tommy confessed softly. “I don’t care if you hit me. I don’t care if you hurt me.” Tommy crawled forward, reaching out with his shaky, bloody hands. “I don’t want you to leave.”
Their two personalities crashed together bad in this situation. He might be troubled himself, but he wasn’t an expert at fixing these things. They reached an impasse, and Phil had to step in. But what could he say here?
“I don’t want to either, but I would leave if it meant you’d be safe.”
“Tommy’s safe,” Phil interjected. “You’re both safe.”
“I don’t give a damn about my safety.” Tommy’s eyes were dark.
They weren’t getting anywhere. Phil sighed, pinching his temple. “Tommy, it might be difficult, but can you try and explain why you were upset?”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Why does it matter?” He gave him a look. Tommy cleared his throat. “I broke your mug, something that belongs to you. I made a mess.”
“I don’t care about a damn mug,” Techno hissed. “No one does. We just want you to be okay.”
“You can be mad,” Tommy continued, ignoring him. “Please get mad at me. Just-- Just don’t ever leave me. You can hate me all you want, but don’t… Don’t ever leave me.”
Phil’s heart sank. Nothing he said or did could fix it.
His phone started to ring, and it fell on deaf ears. Tommy cried in earnest, not letting anyone touch him. Techno was frozen to the spot, scared to move.
He was gonna silence his phone, but he answered instantly when he saw the caller ID. “Wil, I--”
“Where is everyone?” he asked, yawning. “Did you go out to get dinner?”
“We’ll be home soon, Wil,” he said, watching as Tommy sobbed even harder.
“Is that-- Is Tommy crying?” he asked before the line cut off.
He would book a therapist appointment first thing in the morning.
But, for now, he just wanted to get his kids out of the rain.