Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

The cries of another elephant rang through the forest as he faced Veronica’s wrath.

Greg stood in the shadows of the trees watching the ordeal, always silent, never interfering, never drawing her attention to him, lest he share the same fate.

Veronica was down by the pool with her two minions, Milo and Georgia, and another poor elephant, Edmond, who was one of their frequent victims. Milo was holding up the captive’s tail, while Georgia would suck up as much water as she could fill up in her trunk, and shoot it full blast into Emond poor unprotected self. Meanwhile, Veronica would just stand there watching, laughing at the whole situation.

“STOP! PLEASE STOP!” Edmond cried as Georgia went in for another blast, trying to fold over in agony, but Milo holding him up, “IT HURTS SO MUCH!”

From his spot of observation, Greg snorted. Man, this cold! It’d been bothering him for many days and just wouldn’t go away. It was so bad, he could hardly breath through his trunk at all.

Greg turned his attention back to the scene. Of course he felt bad for Edmond. But unless he wanted to be down there instead, he needed to remain discreet in Victoria’s eyes.

But then they shot Edmond again, and Edmond once again cried for mercy, and Greg couldn’t hold it back any longer. Greg stepped into the opening to confront them.

“Can’t you see he’s had enough?” Greg cried. “Can’t you let him go?”

Veronica’s eyes instantly turned to him. Milo and Georgia stopped their torture methods and allowed Edmond to crump to the ground moaning.

“Do I know you?” Veronica asked. Her eyes narrowed. “Have I taken care of you before?”

Greg took a step back, aware of the dangerous situation he was in.

“No,” Greg said shakily, “You need to stop this right now. It’s not right.” He sniffled through his trunk.

“Not right?” Said Veronica, “I’ll tell you what’s not right. I don’t recall doing this to you before. No young bull slips by me. Not one.”

Greg began to back away.

“Milo, Georgia, let poor Edmond go. We got another guest to take care of right now.”

Greg took another step back, but then he bumped into Milo who was behind him. He was familiar with Milo’s story and his connection to Veronica. He simply followed her so she would stop using him as one of her victims.

Milo dragged Greg over to the pool, and Veronica stood before him and looked him in the eyes. Greg tried to stop himself from trembling.

“Do you have any idea what you’re about to go through?” Veronica asked.

“No,” Greg replied weakly.

“Good. Now, I don’t recall your name. What is it?”

“Greg.” Greg muttered. “Please don’t do this.”

Veronica looked at him seriously. “You really think I’ve ever listened to a line like that?”

Greg snorted, trying to clear his sinuses, but to no avail. He looked at Veronica, his eyes pleading for mercy. Then at Georgia, then Milo. Milo looked away uncertain.

Georgia began to fill her trunk with water.

“No, please don’t,” Greg begged.

Milo lifted Greg’s tail with his trunk.

“No, please don’t.” Greg was really beginning to panic. He tried to pull away, but Milo held him in place.

And the water exploded from Georgia’s trunk, colliding full force with Greg’s unprotected weak spot.

Greg cried out in absolute agony, the force of the water hitting him unbelievably unbearable.

“PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP!” He cried.

But Georgia didn’t stop until her trunk was empty.

Greg slumped forward onto the ground moaning in agony. Unfortunately, Milo still had his tail, leaving open Georgia’s target while she refilled her trunk. Greg snorted, trying to regain his breath through his clogged trunk.

BLAST! Georgia was at it again. Greg cried out, trying to escape the agony.

The second trunkfull was done, Greg struggled to breath through his clogged trunk. Veronica stood in front of him, watching the pain of a newfound victim with great enjoyment.

And then a third blast!

“MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!”

Greg was in so much pain by the time Georgia set back to refilling her trunk, he had lost all grasp on where he was, and why he was here. The pain was causing his trunk to constrict even more with each blast.

And then the fourth blast.

Greg couldn’t hold it in anymore, with all the force in him, he gave out a trumpet cry. And suddenly, all the snot, backed up from days of clogged sinuses, erupted out of his trunk at once. SPLAT! All of it in Veronica’s face.

Veronica’s minions immediately stopped what they were doing. Milo released Greg’s tail, and he collapsed to the ground, writhing in his newfound agony, finally knowing what it was to feel pain. He was too pained to be aware of what he had just done to Veronica, how she was crying out in horror at the snot filling her face, how her minions were trying to help aid her. She glared down at Greg, but said nothing more as Milo and Georgia led her away.

When Greg finally recovered, he noticed Veronica was gone. He took a deep breath through his trunk and was suddenly shocked to realize how clear it now was. He whimpered. Now he knew what it was like to be on the other side of Veronica’s wrath. It was horrible. He guessed he would never be able to hide from her again.

But something even more shocking happened. Veronica never again did it to another elephant. Greg never found out why she stopped, never knowing that he was the cause.

Chapter Text

When Miss Potts first brought Bucky home, Mittens couldn't stand him. She knew she shouldn't but her as a cat, and him as a dog, she couldn't help but notice he was just a lot dumb.

Eventually though, her feelings calmed, and she even began to like him. A little. But even still, a bit of rivalry still remained among them.

One day, she was rubbing along his legs. When she passed through his back legs, she looked up. Suddenly, she couldn't resist.

Unsheathing her claws, she swung her paw upward, scratching him nice and clean. Before Bucky could register, she swung her other paw, doing just the same.

Mitten's dived out from beneath him as he collapsed to the floor, yowling in agony. Mittens felt instant humor and guilt for what she had just done.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "It was just too good a shot to miss."

Suddenly, his eyes began to clear from the pain, and they filled with fury.

"Sorry."

Bucky leaped to his feet, barking his head off as he chased the retreating Mittens across the house. Mittens reached the front door, and jumped out the cat door. Bucky leaped at it in a flurry of barking, trying to follow, but he was just too big.

"Don't worry, I'm coming!" Said Miss Potts, brought to attention by Bucky's barking. She reached him and attached Bucky's chain leash, and opened the door, letting Bucky out.

Instantly, Bucky sprang after Mittens, chasing her across the front yard. He didn't notice that the chain, trailing behind him, was right down the middle, back legs on either side.

Suddenly, the chain reached its end.

SNAP!

And it was over, the chain had sprung up, and Bucky collapsed to the ground, Mittens still inches out of reach, standing their watching him. It was bad enough to get leashed, but to get leashed when you were still suffering cat scratches, it was unfathomable. Bucky writhed on the ground whimpering in agony.

Miss Potts had luckily taken out her smartphone just in time, and ad recorded the whole thing, a future viral sensation.

Mittens turned back to Bucky. Though she couldn't hide her amusement, she sort of felt bad. She stepped up to him.

"I'm sorry. Let's just say when this is over, we forget the whole thing and never let it happen again."

Bucky was in no place to argue. He just whimpered and nodded.

So they did forget it. Or at least they never mentioned it again, Mittens would always hold a special place for it in her memories.

But while they forgot, the internet never did. It got tens of millions of views on YouTube and was trending everywhere.

And that's how Miss Potts became a famous YouTuber.

Chapter Text

Fireball couldn’t believe he’d been selected to play in the rodeo. While the horse workers led him down the hallway to his stall, he had a decent view of the chaos going on outside in the ring. Another stallion has already out there, bucking like crazy, furiously trying to get the rider off his back.

As he was placed in his new stall, the humans poured him some food and water and left.

Fireball was about to eat when he noticed a beautiful grey mare watching him from the next stall over.

“Oh, hello,” Fireball nodded graciously, “I’m Fireball. Anything I can do for you?”

“No,” said the mare, “I’m just thinking about your fate. About how you’re soon be in the same situation as that stallion out there.” She looked out into the rodeo, watching the bronco thrash. For the first time, Fireball realized he looked like he was in some sort of discomfort or something.

“Yeah, about that, I’m not sure I’m up for this bronco business to be honest,” Fireball admitted, “I feel I’d be much better suited for barrel races or something. What that stallion is doing out there is completely undignified, I don’t see how they can make me do that.”

The Mare neighed with amusement, “You’ll be surprised. You’re cute, I look forward to seeing you out there, helplessly trying to get that thing off, Stallion.”

Before Fireball could ask another question, she ducked out of sight, but he could still hear her giggling on the other side, “Stallions, poor guys. Can’t turn us mares into bucking broncos.”

Whatever, he might as well eat before he was on. Not that he was going to give much of a show, he certainly wasn’t going to be acting like that other stallion out there.

Fireball was led from his stall, to a pen right beside the corral. A cowboy-like guy climbed onto his bare back, ready to ride. Another guy stood beside him, assisting him.

“You got this?” the guy asked?

“I’m ready!”

“Just let me get on this strap.” Said the guy heading toward Fireball’s tail. What was he doing back there? Fireball decided to pass it off. “They got these new electronic ones that automatically tighten as much as possible without harming the horse, and it comes undone with just a press of a button.” Fireball had no idea what this guy was talking about…

And then he heard the click.

Instantly metal constructed, clamping down harder than he knew possible, right around where it was most sensitive.

Fireball neighed out in agony! The gate flew open and Fireball burst out, throwing his back legs up in the air, trying to get the thing off.

“GET IT OFF! OUCH! OW! GET IT OFF!” He cried, bucking with such ferocity, trying to throw off whatever was around him. The rider balance expertly on Fireball’s back, unwilling to be thrown off.

Fireball bucked and thrashed, but the electronic strap stayed firmly in place, unable to be moved.

“GET IT OFF! IT’S TOO SENSITIVE!” Fireballs cried. "IT'S TOO TIGHT!"

As useless as it was, Fireball could not stop bucking. His instinct was to buck, to try to get that thing off of him, no matter how hopeless, and was no less voluntary than one’s need to flinch at sudden movements. This was much more violent than flinching though. Each landing, the regaining of his balance before throwing his back legs in the air again was agony. Each time he threw his legs up, the second he felt them come back down, his body needed to do another kick, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t kick again until the last kick was finished, so every moment one buck landed, he was desperately in another, far too late for him to bare. So the bucks came, one after another, desperate, unable to cease.

But somehow, the rider managed to stay on, second after second, minute after minute.

MAKE IT STOP! Fireball pleaded inwardly, the need to get that thing off unceasing,

Meanwhile, the mare watched from the stall. Yep, this was hilarious, he was so cute out there like that. She was glad she’d never be a bronco.

Finally, around thirty minutes, the rider was thrown off. But that didn’t resolve Fireball’s problems, the strap was still on, Fireball kept bucking, unable to stop.

But none of the crowd noticed him. They were all cheering. His rider must have won some sort of world record, and they were off, carrying him on their shoulders. The auditorium emptied and the show was over.

Still, Fireball thrashed, every moment that went by unbearable, hoping someone would return to notice him. Okay, It’s over, just let me go now.

Finally, a young horse keeper, maybe mid 20s, arrived. Fireball was now rolling on his back, throwing his legs into the air, unable to hold back.

“Oh my goodness,” he cried, “you’re still out here? Poor thing, let me help you.”

Gently, the horse keeper nudged the horse to his feet with his reigns, and led the bucking stallion back to the pin. Once inside, the door locked, the boy turned to Fireball, still bucking in this confined space.

“Here, let me get that strap off you.”

The boy made his way toward Fireball’s tail. Unfortunately, Fireball could not stop bucking, and just as the boy stepped behind him, Fireball’s hoof flew out, connecting right with the boy. Right where it hurt the most.

The boy cried out, collapsing to the floor. Moaning and writhing, he rolled onto his back. That was a mistake. He was right under Fireball’s hoof, right where it landed after every buck, Fireball’s hoof landing again and again in the same place he was kicked. The boy cried out in agony.

It seemed like forever before anybody else found them (by the boy's co-wrangler/girlfriend of all the self-conscious things), the situation unchanged. Finally, the boy was rescued and the strap removed from Fireball. The moment it loosened; Fireball collapsed in exertion. He had feared it would never end.

As Fireball was led back to his stall, the mare looked at him. “Great show you gave out there, bronco.”

“Don’t mention it,” Fireball grumped, burying his face in his food.

"You're so cute," she replied, looking down at him.

When the owner heard of the incident, guilt filled him. This had not gone well at all (other than the world record). Fireball had provided a great show, but after this ordeal, he figured he should give the horse a break. The boy too.

So the next show, Fireball was no longer a bronco, but a barrel racer, and his rider, the boy, the only one Fireball would work with after the incident.

Chapter Text

When Bella stepped back out into the pasture, a sense of relief filled her. It was always so awkward for a cow being milked, and she was glad she could now get on with her day.

She found a nice spot and began to graze.

Unfortunately, her peace was not to last long.

“Hey Babe.”

Bella sighed. She looked up to see Seymore, the Stockade’s bull, headed her way.

“What is it Seymore?” Bella asked, rolling her eyes.

He was nice of course, but he wasn’t the smartest guy to walk the Earth, and he never could take the hint that sometimes what one needed was a little peace and quiet.

“I just came to tell you, I overheard the farmers talking, and they are taking me out on a mission tomorrow.”

“A mission, really. Sounds fascinating.” Ella said, going back to her grazing.

“Yeah,” Seymore piped, “They said something about taking me out to find some oysters in the Rocky Mountains.”

Bella spit out her mouthful. She looked up at Seymore. “Seriously?”

“Yep,” Seymore declared, “Isn’t it so exciting?”

Bella hesitated. He seemed so excited for his “mission”. She didn’t want to break it with him.

But she was hit by an even deeper feeling she didn’t realize. Disappointment. She didn’t realize it ‘til this point, but if she had a calf, she would want it to be with him. As weird and obnoxious as he was, he was sort of sweet.

But before she could tell him, he had already changed the subject.

“Just got done being milked, haven’t you?” He asked, trotting around her, looking under her with curiosity.

Bella took that back. He was sweet, but he had no sense of manners!

“Is it awkward being milked?” Seymore went on, “I wouldn’t know, they’ve never done it to me. I sometimes wonder why.”

“Oh yes, it’s very awkward,” Bella declared, trying to put a hint into her voice. “But there is something more awkward than even that.”

Seymore looked up, his face filled with curiosity. “There is?”

“You want to know the best place to find oysters in the Rocky Mountains?”

“Oh yes,” Seymore declared, “the farmers would appreciate me very much if I could take up such a lead.”

“See those mountains over there?” Bella asked, turning Seymore’s gaze to the horizon. The Sun was going down, and the sky was filled with pink and purple light.

“Yes,” Seymore sighted, staring at the snowcapped mountains in the distance, “it is beautiful.”

“See that crest between those two peaks?” Bella asked. She didn’t really care what she was talking about, she just needed to keep him distracted while she snuck behind him.

“Which two peaks?” Seymore asked, almost looking back at her.

“The big ones.” Bella said, turning his attention back to the mountains.

“I think so. Are they the ones with…”

Bella was now into position, standing right behind him, facing the opposite direction.

She lifted a back leg. Just a gentle kick would grab his attention…

Bella paused.

If she was going to do this, she might as well have fun with it.

So Bella swung her hoof back with all the force she could muster, connecting with Seymore… Well, she decided not to finish that.

“There!” Bella declared.

Seymore howled in pain as he crumbled to the ground, completely leveled, writhing in the dirt. This was so much better than Bella could imagine.

“OW! OW! OWWWWW!” Seymore cried, “What was that for?”

“There, I answered both your questions.” Bella replied.

Seymore writhed, trying to ease his injury by putting his body pressure into the ground. It took him a few seconds to process Bella’s response.

“Okay, I get it. More awkward than milking.” Seymore moaned, “Got it. But I don’t get what that has to do with Rocky Mountain…”

Suddenly, his eyes went wide.

“Exactly,” Bella said.

Seymore struggled to get to all fours, but he crumbled back down.

“I don’t want them to eat me!” Seymore cried, trying to turn his attention from the pain.

“Oh, they’re not going to eat all of you,” Bella helped, “Just part of you.”

Seymore finally managed to regain his hooves, but he still looked highly uncomfortable, still scrunched in on himself.

“Wait,” Seymore said, face going red, “You knew all this, and I didn’t?” He struggled not to moan, fresh waves of pain racking him every second he stayed on his feet. “Ooh, this hurts so bad. My…” He looked at Bella, not wanting to answer in front of a hot lady.

“Yes, I already know all about it, thank you very much.” She turned her head. “Now I’d recommend you make a getaway to those mountains tonight, leave this whole business behind you.”

“Really?” Seymore asked. “Alone? Won’t you come with me?”

Bella looked at him, heart softening.

“Yes. We’ll see the real Rocky Mountains together.”

With that, Seymore crumpled back to the ground. “Just give me a moment.” He moaned, “It hurts too much to walked.”

So, latter that night, after Seymore recovered from his immobilizing injury, Bella and Seymore made their escape. Finding a weak spot in the fence, they slipped through, and made their into the Rocky Mountains.

Years later, it was reported that a herd of wild cattle was living up in the Meadows of the Rocky Mountains. These were the young of Bella and Seymore, who are still living happily together to this day.

Chapter Text

Eathy had always been afraid of pain, he was so afraid of it, he was seldom went anywhere without watching every step he took, always being sure he put it down carefully, because even a tiny twig poking him wrong in the feet would be too much for him. He never went remotely close to Veronica, so even when Greg finally fell victim to her torture, Eathy was the one male elephant in the forest who’d avoided her.

So why on Earth had he followed his friend Ellie into this ancient temple that was sure to be coated in booby-traps.

He blushed. Of course he knew why he was doing it. It was just too embarrassing to admit it was because he wanted to spend time with a cute girl.

After tumbling down a slippery slide for which there was no way back up, Eathy began to wonder if maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad, that slide was pretty fun, surely that meant he was someone that was fun to be, right.

But that’s when he noticed the room in front of them, a massive space layered with tiles about the size of their own bodies, almost all of them with a small circular hole in the center. A narrow trail of tiles without these holes spread across the center of the room, indicating this was the path they should probably take.

“What do you think will happen if we step on one of those tiles with holes in them?” Eathy asked anxiously.

“I don’t know” Ellie said, “Probably something dreadful.”

As if in answer, a loose rock from the ceiling crumpled free, and collapsed onto one of the holey tiles.

The instant its weight hit down, a spike shot out of the hole, about as tall as Ellie and Eathy’s legs. If that wasn’t bad enough, the tip of the spike ejected something into the air like a syringe. It was only a liquid, but it radiated an energy that even from there, halfway across the room, they could almost feel a type of pain which they had never knew existed, not a pang, not a sharpness, not a heat, but something else entirely, something indescribable. Ellie and Eathy’s breath caught as the wave washed over them and then faded into nothing.

“What was that?” Eathy asked, shaken.

“I think I’ve heard of this before,” Ellie informed him, “It’s a kind of toxin I think. It fades quickly, but even the slightest drop is more painful than anything you can replicate in real life. With the exception of a dragon laying an egg that is.”

Ellie took a step for the room, toward the first safe tile, but Eathy held back.

“You expect me to go in there? After that?” Eathy cried.

“Don’t worry,” Ellie said, “Just follow me and we’ll stick to the safe path. It’s not like you can go back up that slide.”

Eathy hesitated. He knew she was right, but this was just too much on his nerves

But finally, Eathy shakily followed Ellie into the room. The going was easier than he’d thought, and eventually he began to calm. He’d avoided Veronica and he’d just been down a cool slide, surely it couldn’t be too bad to be him.

But then the path of safe tiles ended. Ellie stopped and spotted the next safe tile a few feet away, a bunch of holey tiles between them and it.

“Hold on, I think I can make it,” Ellie said.

And she leaped.

Landing nicely.

She backed up a few feet to give Eathy room.

“Okay, your turn.”

Eathy looked at the gap between him and the next safe tile. He gulped. He was trembling all over. He couldn’t do this.

But then he looked back and realized he had no choice. Swallowing herd, he pulled it together and leaped.

And he just made it. Unfortunate, his back leg just barely landed on the tile behind him. A spike shot up, missing him by inches. Eathy scrambled aside with a cry of terror.

He didn’t realize that his two back feet had landed on a holey tile, one leg on either side of the hole.

And then the spike shot up.

For a second, Eathy was totally frozen to the spot.

“Oh my gosh.”

The spike retreated back into the floor, and Eathy dropped to his knees, his front paws grasping for where the spike got him, his truck folding underneath him aiding in the task.

This was worse than anything Eathy had ever imagined. He wheezed out a wail, it was like the entire world had collapsed in on itself, creating a speck of pure agony penetrating his inflicted body.

“Oh my goodness” Ellie cried, “You were right! And I’ve never been so amused to be proven wrong in all my life! I so would not want that to happen to me! And you wanted it even less! And you got it worse than I could ever…! Why does that make it so much more HILLARIOUS!” Ellie burst out laughing, unable to control herself.

Ellie thought of her own self and how that could never happen to her. She clenched her legs together as shelf-conscious amusement swept over her. Another burst of laughter escaped her mouth. If she felt embarrassed just thinking of herself this way, how must Eathy feel putting his whole vulnerability on display like this, being laughed at by a cute girl who wasn’t prone to such indignity. It must be SO embarrassing.

Oh, how Ellie loved being a girl.

But by now the toxin was beginning to wear of. Eathy wheezed back to steady breathing. He realized that Ellie had just seen the whole thing. The cutest girl on the planet had seen him get completely creamed by a spike to the-

He decided to stop himself there, his face was getting to red.

Eathy began to collect his feet under him. “Please don’t make that happen to me again-” But as he regained his footing, he failed to realize he was replacing his pressure right back on the holey tile, right where he was the first time.

And the spike shot up, injecting him once again with its toxin.

And It hurt way worse than double. It was as if each new molecule of toxin reactivated every single old molecule of toxin from the previous shot to it’s fullest extent, all interacting and colliding with eachother in every way possible until each and every single molecule of toxin was just as unbearably excruciating as the entire shot had been the first time.

Eathy collapsed to the floor, writhing and roaring in complete agony. And it was then that anything left of Eathy’s was gone. He was still fully conscious, but anything that made him “him” was gone, he existed for one thing alone, to bear this excruciating agony with no remorse.

And that’s when Ellie lost it. She collapsed to the floor as well, rolling around in, roaring in laughter. (Lucky for her she didn’t roll onto any of the holey tiles). She wheezed, laughing so hard, she couldn’t catch her breath.

“I CAN’T DO THIS!” she cried “I’m so glad I’m not you!” *Gasp, Gasp* “I am so glad I don’t know what that feels like, or I probably wouldn’t be laughing right now! Oh I can’t do this!” And then she realized, “You probably can’t do this either, and I’M NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD OFF AS YOU!” Ellie burst out with a renewed fit of laughter.

But then she heard it, the click. She noticed that one of the walls had opened with holes, and now a whole ton of spikes, much bigger than the ones on the floor, had popped out.

And the wall was now closing in.

She realized Eathy had still not regained touch with his reality, and was still rolling on the ground in agony.

“Boys,” she sighed. She loved them, especially one as cute as Eathy, but sometimes they’d fall and just not get back up. What’s up with that? She giggled to herself.

So she rushed up to him and wrapped her trunk around his. She dragged him along the safe path. Fortunately, there were no more gaps.

But then the path came to its end at its destination, a small cave-like opening with nowhere left to go!

Still, the wall wouldn’t be able to get in here, and there were no tiles beyond this point. She just hoped it was deep enough that the spikes wouldn’t reach all the way to the back.

So she pulled Eathy in and propped him up against the jagged wall. He was once again beginning to regain himself, and he was filling with humiliation at what Ellie had to do for him.

But then he realized the spikey wall, coming in closer and closer. He realized with fright that the wall behind him curved in such a way that if he pressed himself back as far as he could, his back legs were closer to the opening then and thus the incoming spikes of horror than the rest of his body. Eathy gulped. No! He couldn’t take that again!

Ellie, just a few inches further back than him realized her mistake. But it was too late. The spikes were already entering the cave, the wall pressing up against the entrance.

Eathy looked, a spike was coming right toward him, passing right trough where his legs were on either side of it. He pressed against the cave wall as hard as he could.

And then the wall stopped, completely blocking the cave entrance, just centimeters from Eathy’s body. He caught his breath.

And then there was a click as the spikes pushed out of the wall just an inch, and then retreated back into their holes like a ballpoint pin.

We must now pull away for a moment as Eathy’s reaction can not be explained by mere words.

By the time Eathy had once again returned to reality, Ellie was inspecting the holes in the wall.

“I wonder if this way leads out,” she said.

So, nowhere left to go, they followed it. And eventually it did lead out. After showing them the way to some mystic treasure of course.

Eathy would always look back at that day as the worst day of his life. It definitely was NOT “not too bad to be him”, in fact, if there was anyone Eathy would less want to be, it was the version of himself that went through that temple.

But eventually, him and Ellie would fall in love, and they would eventually get married. And any elephant that married Ellie couldn’t be too bad to be right? At least not ALL the time.

Plus, he never worried too much way when stepping on a twig wrong again, he could now walk with at least a little more confidence, if not still a little awkwardly.

Because he knew of things much worse than stepping on a twig.

And it truly was one of the most painful things one could endure.

Almost as bad as a dragon laying an egg.

Chapter Text

Mira had never met a male fox before in her life. She had spent the first days of her life burrowed for the winter under the snow-covered forest with just her mother and her sisters. She had no brothers.

As curious as she was as to what a boy fox was like, she figured this was probably for the best. Shortly after she was born, the Porcupine Witch had visited her burrow and cast upon her this curse: “Whensoever you meet a new male of your kind, you will hurt him where it hurts the most.”

Now Mira didn’t know what this meant but by the way her mother gasped, she figured it couldn’t be good.

Mira didn’t want to hurt anyone, so she figured it best when she spent the winter curled underground, drinking milk from her mother with her sisters.

But as winter began to thaw into spring, and the sun began to warm the snow-covered forest, Mira began to get restless. She knew she had to venture out eventually.

So, one day she began to explore the forest. The snow was still covering the ground, but the air was warm, promising of the spring to come.

And then she stumbled upon a small clearing. And instantly she gasped. Within the clearing five young foxes, just as old as her were rolling in the snow playing. Two of them were female like her, but there was something different about the other three, and she figured they must be male.

And instantly she knew what the curse meant; instantly she knew exactly what she was going to do.

She tried to hold back, but the urge came over her, so strong, it couldn’t be denied.

Before the other foxes knew what was going on, she scampered into the clearing, ran up near the tail of one of the males and sniffed him as customary for foxes. Before he could process what was going on, she leapt back and swiped her paws across right under his tail, claws extended in such a way where it would not do any long term damage, but it was sure to leave a nasty scratch.

The fox let out a yelp and dropped, folding to the forest floor, paws clutching at the scratch wound.

Instantly, Mira spotted a pinecone on the forest floor, and kicked it as hard as she could. It sailed at another of the males at top speed, passing right through his front legs, continuing through to his back legs where it suddenly met resistance with a loud crack. With a yelp, he dropped too.

Mira turned to the third male who was looking shocked, and instantly she pounced, throwing her full weight at him causing him to tumble onto his back. She would have landed on top of him, but just as her weight was starting to come down, she redirected all four of her paws so they all came crashing down right within his back legs. He yelped, and Mira leapt off him as he writhed on the forest floor in agony.

As Mira breathed, coming back to herself, she looked up at the two females, one staring at her like she was a complete freak, the other with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

Mira looked around at the scene, a knot growing in her stomach.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

And with that she fled.

“Wait!” The second female fox call after her, “Can’t you wait until my brother gets here?”

But Mira didn’t look back, she couldn’t believe what she’d just done.

Unfortunately, she didn’t see where she was going.

SLAM!

As she regained herself, her heart filled with dread as she realized it was another male fox about her age. A very attractive one at that. He smiled at her, like he thought she was very, very, pretty.

Mira gulped. The poor guy had no idea what he was in for.

So she did what she had to do, and booked it out of there as soon as she could.

“I’m sorry,” she called back to the poor unfortunate handsome male, “I’m under a curse!”

Finally she pulled to a stop, thinking she had gone far enough so no one was following her. But then she heard pawsteps, scrambling through the brush after her.

And into view stepped the handsome fox she’d just met, he was hunched inward, like it was uncomfortable to move, but he seemed also determined not to loose her. She gulped, afraid of what she’d do next.

“Hey,” the fox said, spotting her, “you said you were under a curse. What did you mean?”

Mira realized she didn’t feel that same urge she had the first time she’d seen him, apparently it only worked on first time acquaintances.

Still, he was kind of cute, and the knowledge of what she’d just done made her blush. Oh how could this be her life?

“I’m so sorry,” she cried, “An evil witch porcupine cursed me when I was born to hurt every male of my kind where it hurt the most.” She started bawling, ashamed of what she’d done, and embarrassed at how ridiculous her story sounded.

But the male just sat down beside her. “No biggy.” He said, then he winced, “actually, yes biggy, you are really talented at inflicting pain, ouch. But I forgive you.”

Mira looked at him, “Really?”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, “It happens.”

Mira looked at him, skeptical of the meaning behind “it happens”, but then shrugged.

“Say,” he said, “I was on my way to meet some friends to play, want to come with me?”

Mira’s heart warmed, “definitely.”

When they arrived, Mira realized the “friends” were the five foxes she’d met earlier, the second female was his sister. The three males were recovering from their ordeal and looking at the two females awkwardly.

With the support of her new friend, Mira explained what went on. The others forgave her and agreed to let her join them.

Every once in awhile, a new fox would join in, and if it was a male, Mira would have to do her thing (poor creatures), but they quickly learned to look past it.

By the end of the day, Mira had made plenty of new friends, and – Mira smiled to herself – perhaps a really cute future boyfriend.

When her mother asked her how her day had been, Mira told her all about her new friends. Mira left out all the awkward details, but Mira’s mother cringed inwardly every time she mentioned a male, knowing the situation that implied.

But she was glad for her daughter. She’d feared her curse would hinder her making new friends, but she’d managed to make them anyway. As Mira dosed off to sleep with her sisters, her mother watched her, pride filling her heart.

Chapter Text

As the Spring finally came, Mira continued to meet more foxes. While many of them were girls, many of them were also boys, and due to her curse, there was nothing to stop her from hurting them where it hurt the most (poor males).

And despite how horrible it was, she almost enjoyed her curse. She could inflict all the hilarious pain on every cute boy she met, and it wasn’t even her fault.

And how their faces scrunch up as they fold over in mortal agony… It was just too cute.

But even though she had no control over her curse, she felt kind of guilty about it. Yeah it wasn’t her fault, but she didn’t have to find it as funny as she did.

But still… so cute.

Mira’s face filled with heat, she shouldn’t know all this about boys, she shouldn’t see them this way. But it was just too funny, them all being so vulnerable in ways she never could be.

Ways she never could be…

She shook her head, trying to ward off the blushing showing through her fur. She’d just have to take it as it was.

She was waiting in the clearing for Aspen, they had agreed to meet here today and she was looking forward to spending time with him. Ever since he had encouraged her to play with the others, he had become her best friend.

And he was also the cutest.

She was almost sad that she had already met him though, him being so cute. When she first met him, she was in such a rush to get away, she never had the time to take in how funny it was, him being folded.

She shook her head again. It had to be messed up, her thinking of him like that.

But still, her emotions wouldn’t suppress themselves.

Finally, there was rustling in the brush, and before she knew it, Aspen had leapt out, all excited to see her.

“Mira!” He shouted, “Ready to go to the creek?”

Mira was about to answer when suddenly she heard more rustling. She turned her attention to it, and Aspen followed her gaze.

“Oh, that’s just my parents,” he said, “When I told them about you, they said they wanted to meet you.”

A larger female fox emerged from the brush, “Hello there, you must be Mira,” she said.

Mira felt her stomach beginning to twist. She turned to Aspen. “You brought just your mom, right?”

The brush began to rustle a third time. No no no no no.

Aspen looked at Mira a little anxiously, “I couldn’t keep dad from coming without telling him about the curse.”

And then Aspen’s father stepped from the trees.

“What curse? Why don’t you want to meet me?”

Mira closed her eyes and gulped. It was too late now. Out of all the other foxes she had met… Oh, this was going to be so embarrassing!

Mira dashed, circling around Aspen’s dad. Before he knew what she was doing, she was behind him. Paw outstretched, she raked her claws underneath him. He yelped, dropping to the ground, paws grasping for his injury.

Mira leapt back over him, landing at Aspen’s side. She looked at the shock on his mother’s face, then his father’s face, clinched in pure agony.

“I’m sorry!” She cried.

“Don’t worry,” Aspen aided, “she does that to everyone.”

Mira looked at Aspen, shocked. Aspen suddenly went red. That didn’t come out good.

The father, still queasy, struggled to regain himself, barely finding footing before slumping back down. “Everyone?”

“Well, I mean not everyone, just the males.”

Mira really needed to stop Aspen.

“I don’t like to-” She started, then realized with a blush, that wasn’t exactly true, “Well, I sort of do like to, but I don’t want to- well, I kind of want to as well, but-”

“You see, she kind of has this curse,” Aspen stepped in, “This porcupine and all…”

Aspen’s father finally regained his footing, but his voice was still gruff with pain. “And you believe this?”

Aspen looked at his father, “Yes, I do.”

Mira just stood there, feeling faint. Aspen’s dad looked from her to his son.

Finally, “You have a poor choice in girlfriends, you know that?”

Without another word, he turned to leave, gesturing for his wife that was time to go.

As he began to limp out of the clearing, Aspen’s mom looked at her husband. “You do got to admit, it was kind of funny.”

Aspen’s dad did not reply.

When they were gone, Aspen looked at Mira. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t mention it.” Mira grumbled. Hopefully she’d never have to talk about this again.

Leaving the small clearing, they made their way to the creek where their other friends were waiting.

Fortunately, the walk helped her clear her mind and stop thinking about Aspen’s father. At least that wasn’t happening again.

Then they arrived at the creek and Mira gasped.

Apparently, Aspen wasn’t the only one whose parents wanted to meet their cubs’ new friends.

And unfortunately, they weren’t all mothers either.

Chapter Text

As Jeffery grazed from the lower branches of the tree, he couldn’t help but feel relief at his ability to finally reach them for himself. Though he hadn’t reached the same size as the other giraffes, at least he could feed himself and not have to rely on the help of his mother to eat.

As he grazed calmly, he couldn’t help but notice two calves running around giggling. The were Savannah and Cordy, his older sister’s young, his niece and nephew. They were chasing eachother through the grass and through legs of other giraffes, laughing all the way. The other giraffes seemed slightly annoyed, but they just passed it off. He couldn’t help but chuckle at seeing them having such fun.

He turned his attention back to his grazing, reaching for a leaf…

But no sooner did he do so than he noticed his niece and nephew heading straight for him.

No wait, no no no, I’m not as big as the other giraffes! Jeffery thought to himself, but it was too late, Cordy had run right through his legs, front to back. He was still small, so he glided through without a problem.

But then there was Savannah, a few inches taller and only a few feet behind. She sailed through his front legs right behind Cordy. At first, it seem like all would end well, she was just the right height to pass by right under, then she passed through his back legs, and her horns came right in contact with his body.

Jeffery gave a gasp, his head folding downward as he wheezed in pain. Okay, it wasn’t so bad, just a little bump. But wow, that was one intense little bump. Taking a few seconds, he was able to straighten back up again. Okay, he was all okay, it just a momentary shock.

But before he could go back to grazing, he noticed Cordy and Savannah coming in for another lap.

Oh no no no!

But it was too late.

This time, Jeffery folded completely over, allowing himself to slump to the ground.

He waited their a few moments until the pain completely passed. Wow, it wasn’t even that hard, and right now, it had still taken him down.

He watched his young niece and nephew run around a few minutes more. They passed by him multiple times, looking at him slightly, but oblivious to his plight. He would just wait here til they were done. The pain was gone, had really only lasted a little more than the initial shock, but he didn’t feel in the mood for getting hit a third time anyway.

After a little while, Savannah and Cordy disappeared, probably off somewhere else causing more mischief. But right now, it looked like the coast was clear for him to eat.

Cautiously, he raised himself onto all four legs. He looked up at the branches of the tree. Ooh, that looked like a tasty one. He began to reach for it… It was a little beyond his reach. He strained his neck…

Giggling in the distance. Oh no, they were coming back.

But he was almost there.

He hooked his jaw.

And here they came running.

He yanked on the branch, but the leaves wouldn’t come loose.

Closer…

No, he wasn’t going to let go.

As Cordy and Savannah approached, he made a quick decision. Right before they passed through his legs, he did a quick sidestep.

And then he lost his footing.

And he tripped and fell.

His jaw was still locked onto that stubborn branch, and as he fell, it bent downwards with him.

Building tension… Building tension…

And just as he landed on his back on the ground-

The branch catapulted upward.

Taking Jeffery with it.

As he shot up through the air, his lower half started to curve out from under him, until his neck and his body began to form a sort of upside-down arch.

And then BAM!

Jeffery’s body came to an abrupt halt. It took him a moment to realize what had happened.

His lower half of his body had hit another branch on his upward swing, his back legs hooked firmly on opposite sides of it.

And then the pain hit him, way worse than what Savannah’s horns had did to him. This was intense pain in its fullest!

All the momentum from the swing gone, gravity took over, and Jeffery fell to the ground, teeth no longer clamped on that dumb branch.

Unfortunately, the branch had snapped from the force of its encounter, and it followed him down, passing right through his back legs on its collision course with his body.

BAM!

Jeffery gave out a cry as he writhed on the ground moaning. Cordy and Savannah stopped what they were doing, finally noticing him. The other giraffes stared at him in shock, but decided to go on with their eating, pretending they saw nothing. (Though one girl giraffe about his age couldn't help but giggle to herself as she saw this from the sidelines. This guy was cute.)

“Hey, uh uncle,” Cordy asked, “are you okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Savannah said, “he’s just doing some weird thing that males sometimes do.”

She started walking away, and Cordy followed her. “Hey wait, I’m male.”

“Then you’ll probably do it someday too.” Savannah replied.

“I don’t want to do that,” Cordy replied, “It looks weird.”

“Well, I don’t know why guys do that, they just do. Maybe when you figure it out, you can tell me.” Savannah said, “Now let’s go play.”

So the two of them ran off leaving Jeffery alone in his suffering.

When the pain finally receded to a dull ache, Jeffery decided just to lay there. This was fine. He would attempt to eat again later, but right now, it was more peaceful just to lay here, without the risk of calves running through his legs or him slamming into branches. Yeah, this was kinda the life.

Chapter Text

In the darkness of the night in their cozy dragon cave, Cindy began to stir.

Lazily, she opened her eyes and looked over at her husband Leviath sleeping nearby. His chest was rising and falling calmly, but what caught her attention was his sleeping position. He was laying on his back, with his legs spread apart. She was sleeping right at his tail, so it was impossible not to notice this.

She didn’t mind, he was her husband afterall, but she couldn’t suppress the giggle. He looked so ridiculous sleeping like this, but at the same time, kind of hansom.

Suddenly, an idea hit her hard, it’d been something she’d secretly wanted to try on him for a while, but she had never thought of the perfect scenario. Now she suddenly had an idea, and she couldn’t resist.

But then she hesitated. Was that too intense? She shook her head. That’s what was great about dragon scales, they were basically invincible. You could do almost anything to them and it would never do the dragon any harm. But even though they couldn’t come to harm that way, they were still as sensitive as anything else and whatever was done to them would be felt the same.

Oh, this idea was too good, she had to act on it before she changed her mind.

She rushed through the cave and found the place where they kept their oil. Quickly, she grabbed it, and brought it over to her husband. Fortunately, he hadn’t moved.

Moving up to him, she uncapped the oil and started to pour it on him, right in the opening where his legs were apart. Fortunately, he was a deep sleeper, and didn’t notice.

Now, for the final step. She could have done this part with her own breath, but that seemed too direct, so she chose to go with a more indirect method. Putting the oil down, she picked up a stick. Breathing on the stick, she lit in on fire.

She looked down at her husband. Was this even fair to do to him? It wasn’t like he wasn’t a nice guy. She thought back to the first time she’d brought up she might do such a thing to him.

“You know what sweetheart,” she’d said, “Someday I think it might be funny if I were accidently hurt you where it hurts most.”

“Whatever,” he’d said, probably sarcastically. It wasn’t exactly a yes, but it was the closest she was going to get if she wanted to surprise him. At the very least, he knew she had a thing for it, so what else could he expect? She was glad she wasn't male, there was just something about males that said "Do this to me!" whether they really asked for it or not. (Maybe it was because when they laid that way, it was near impossible not to see them that way!)

She looked at the torch, then back at Leviath. In a moment, there was going to be no going back for him. Her heart felt so bad for him…

Okay! Let’s do this thing!

“Oopsie!” And with that, she “accidently” dropped the torch.

In an instant, Leviath ignited on fire, or at least the part of him where Cindy had poured the oil. His eyes snapped open, and he let out a sudden cry. What was happening to him!? It was hot! It hurt! It BURNED! The most sensitive place on his body, so vulnerable and unprotected, was on fire!

“OW! OW!” He cried, scrambling to the wall, pressing his back against it as he processed what was going on. “FIRE!” He cried, his legs flailing desperately on either side of the flame, not sure what to do, but knowing they had to do something, “I’M ON FIRE! MY- MY- MY B- OW!”

He tried to scramble back more, but his back just slid off the wall. He rolled on the floor, the fire continuing to flare. His talons instinctively reached for where the pain was, but they instantly jerked away as they got too close to the flame. Though burning talons surely would hurt nowhere near as much as what he felt now, it was the classic instinct to avoid inflicting more pain on himself, even if it meant easing the pain in the long run. It hurt worse than he could imagine, but he could not ease it without causing more pain to the other parts of his body, something his reflexes prevented him from doing.

So he rocked back and forth, his body desperately wanting to clench itself up, but not being able to without causing more of it to come in contact with the flames. He could do nothing but keep his legs apart, and resist reaching with his talons, while the pain raged in the most sensitive place imaginable, left vulnerable and unprotected. He writhed back and forth, his body not knowing what to do with itself. “IT BURNS! IT BURNS! OH, MAKE IT STOP! MY SENSITIVE PLACE! OW!”

And his wife, she just stood there watching, an amused look on her face. What was she thinking seeing him burning up like this writhing in male pain? She must think he looked ridiculous!

He writhed himself into the ground, trying to make the flame go out, but there was too much oil on him, that it wouldn’t stop. He scrambled on his talons, crying out, nothing to be done to ease the burning.

Cindy couldn’t help but laugh, it was just so funny seeing her husband, so strong and hansom, being brought down by the most ridiculous aspect of himself. Leviath overheard her laughter, and instantly he knew this wasn’t some weird accident. “YOU DID THIS!” He cried. “YOU DID THIS TO MY MOST EMBARRASSING SENSITIVE PLACE!”

“Of course I did! I couldn’t help it! I’m sorry, but you just look too funny this way!” Cindy burst out laughing.

“TO YOU! THIS HURTS!” Leviath cried. His wife was CRAZY! But he couldn’t think about that now, the pain was consuming his sanity! It wouldn’t cause him any long-term harm thanks to his scales, but that fact did nothing to stop the pain!

“Water!” he cried. He desperately scrambled to the small creek that ran through their cave, and tried dropping himself into the fire to put it out, but it didn’t work, it only seemed to be causing it to spread. The water just boiled, burning him more! So desperately did his body want this water, to cool the burning, but it was only making it worse! “WHY’S IT NOT WORKING!?” He cried, flopping besides the creek helpless, continuing to writhe, “LET THE WATER WORK!” Oh how good the water looked, so cool and not-fiery, how could it be so worthless!

“Oh, I used oil to start the fire, you’re going to have to find some other way to smother it. Or you’re going to have to just wait for it burn out on its own.”

“WHY YOU MAD PYROMANTIC SADIST!” He cried.

“I’m good with being py-romantic,” Cindy replied, fluttering her eyes, “I feel very romantic seeing you so hot like this.” Cindy sat down. “Now, while you deal with that, I’m going to sit over here and watch.”

Leviath cried out. Apparently he wasn’t going to get any sympathy from his wife. And of course she wouldn’t, this was too ridiculous of a situation to take seriously. But no matter how ridiculous the situation was, it didn’t stop him from roaring and howling his head off in his pain. Ridiculous or not, it HURT!

And while he roared and writhed his fire through the dirt like a complete weirdo, despite his assumption, Cindy did have some sympathy for him. But in a funny way. Normally, she would care for him, and be there for him, and want to share with him anything, even his hardships, but not this. This was something he’d have to go through on his own, while Cindy sat on the sidelines finding amusement in his suffering. If it was something serious, she’d want it all to be over for him, or share the burden, but this wasn’t serious, was it? So though she had a slight pity for him, it was more, nuh-uh, any other moment in your life I’d be willing to switch places with you, but let there be this one moment where I’m glad I’m me and that I’m not you, one that I can actually laugh about.

“How you feeling,” she asked after he’d been hollering and writhing for quite some time.

“HOT! I’M HOT!” he cried.

“Of course you’re hot, that’s why it’s so funny seeing you like this.” Cindy answered. “You must already know, I like hot guys.”

“IT BURNS! IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP!”

But no matter how much he scrubbed himself through the dirt, the sticky oil wouldn’t rub off very effectively, the flame just kept going, its heat continued penetrating the most sensitive aspect of himself, into his very being.

Cinder watched. This just would not end, maybe she added too much oil. She shrugged, it’d go out eventually, right, it would just be a long show.

Unfortunately, Leviath was getting desperate. The pain, it was just too intense! “HELP!” He roared into the sky, “MY WEAK SPOT! JUST MAKE IT STOP!”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’ll stop eventually, you just have to give it time.” Cindy assured him. “But then again, I have nothing to worry about, I’m not you,” She added with amusement, “I can just sit back and wait for the flame to go out, then everything will return to normal. For you, it’s much more complicated. Sure things will return to normal for you to, but I’m glad I don’t know what unbearables exist on that road before then. Of course you can’t bear another second, but I can wait all night. Let’s hope it’s all night, may be unbearable for you, but more funny for me. I can take it, and that’s what matters.”

Leviath roared into the sky. NO! NOT ANOTHER SECOND!

Cindy burst out laughing. She was so cruel, but this one time she didn’t care, it was just too funny.

Unfortunately for Leviath, it was closer to Cindy’s prediction. There was no relief from the burning, but the Universe didn’t seem to care, seemed it had looked down on his predicament and deemed it funny. Any other dragon it would be, but NOT HIM! He was too himself for this, other dragons weren’t, let it be them it happened to instead!

And the oil just kept burning and burning and burning. Cindy began to get worried. How long would this oil take to burn? It could take days, weeks! It was funny for a few hours, but if it went on too much longer, it was starting to feel a bit much.

Hour after hour it burned - it would surely be morning soon - every second Leviath knew he couldn’t stand another, roaring and howling through the whole thing. Cindy still found some amusement from this, but at the same time, she was starting to feel bad for him. As funny as this all was, she figured he’d need a break sometime… In maybe another hour- Okay, it was too early to let up yet. Let the poor dragon writhe. Let her blessed self indulge. Besides, when it was all long and done with, it wouldn’t really matter if it lasted a few extra hours, right, these few extra hours only really mattered for the enjoyment or discomfort of their current selves, their selves a year from now wouldn’t really care, right.

As long as it did end…

But finally, it seemed as if the Universe had decided Leviath had had enough, and the fire slowly began to flicker and die out. Finally got all the sticky oil had burned off him, and he smothered the rest of the flame with the dirt of the cave floor. Once over, he just laid there a moment trying to process his existence through such pain, still squirming a little in his discomfort.

Finally, he turned to Cindy. “What on Earth were you thinking?”

Cindy chuckled, “It was funny, and you look so hot…”

Secretly, Leviath kind of thought it was kind of funny, not what had happened to him, but that Cindy had thought it was funny… Kind of made her hot. But still, he couldn’t just let it go without speaking his mind. “Well, it was horrible.”

“I know,” Cindy replied, “That’s why it was so funny.”

She was hopeless. “I hope that when you lay eggs, they all come out on fire and covered in spikes,” Leviath grumbled.

Cindy’s jaw dropped. But then she regained herself. “I probably deserve that, don’t I?” She asked with a nervous titter, considering the concept.

“Completely,” Leviath replied.

Of course, he didn’t really mean it, but unfortunately, when it came time for them to have their eggs, Leviath’s wish still came true. As Cindy screamed her head off, regretting her entire existence, Leviath couldn’t help but sort of regret his wish (a little). Cindy on the other hand couldn’t help but sort of regret what she’d done to Leviath (a little. Well, not really, it was kind of still too funny of a memory to really regret), but that is another story.

In the end, these two really did love eachother, maybe they just needed some sort of marriage therapy or something.

[Insert obligatory out-of-nowhere Marriage Therapy For Dragons ad here]

Chapter Text

Nate always felt anxious every time he stepped out of his den into the world beyond. He knew he had a destiny, and it wasn’t a destiny to look forward to.

When he was just a very young cub, a Porcupine Witch had come to his mother and bestowed this curse on her, “From this day forward, each and every one of sons will someday get hurt where it hurts the most, so bad that they will wish that they were dead. But with this curse also comes a blessing, for no matter how they get hurt, no matter how bad, no injury they receive will result in permanent damage.”

Well, needless to say, Nate’s mother had been horrified. At first, Nate wasn’t sure what she’d meant by “where it hurts the most,” but he didn’t like the sound of “they will wish that they were dead.”

Now that he was older, he thought he got it now, and somehow that hadn’t made it any more comforting.

He’d remembered hearing the screams of his brothers bursting through the trees as one by one they had come face to face with their fate. He didn’t even want to know.

Sitting down, he looked around the woods cautiously, nobody in sight, he lowered his front paws to feel himself. He flinched, his paw coming in a little too hard. He couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to be hit down there, it was just so sensitive and… exposed, right there in the open where anything could get him.

He clinched his legs together, but that didn’t help really, just made him feel weirder. He just felt so sensitive there, he didn’t want to think about what it’d be like when he faced his “Big Moment.”

“What’cha doing?”

Suddenly, Nate shot to attention as a cute girl bear, same age as him, stepped out from behind the trees. She’d just seen him, hadn’t she?

“I, uh, nothing.” Nate quickly announced.

“It’s okay, I understand,” she said, “males are weird. I’d feel weird if I was a male too, I think.”

Nate didn’t know how to respond, so instead, he just got to his paws, “I, uh got to go. It was nice talking to you.” And he turned to go.

“We didn’t really talk,” the girl called after him.

As he left the area behind, little did he know that he would be joining his brothers in a world of pain in just a few days.

A few days later, Nate was walking through the forest when he came upon a quiet clearing. It looked nice and peaceful so he decided to step out and soke in the warm Sun.

He was only a few steps in when he saw something glinting in the sunlight hidden in the grass. A sinking feeling began to grow in the pit of his stomach. Cautiously, he kicked a stick toward the glint…

SNAP!

Nate’s heart quickened, his suspicions were correct, it was a bear trap.

And as he saw a bunch more glints of sunlight in the grass, he realized he’d stepped into a whole field of them.

Nate had heard how painful it could be to get trapped in a bear trap and he wanted no part of it.

So cautiously, he backed out of the clearing.

Once back at the edge of the woods, he began to relax, he was out of the woods, or more accurately, he was back in them, but that was more comforting.

Exhausted from his panic, he sat down, back to a tree.

SNAP!

At first, he didn’t know what happened, his whole body just jerked. And then he looked down at his lap.

And clamped into him was a bear trap, biting into him right where he was most sensitive.

And then the pain hit him full force.

Nate cried out in pain, falling onto his side. This hurt worse than he’d feared, much worse than he dared to imagine, and he had imagined a lot. It was pain beyond all possibility to bear, yet it was happening to his poor Soul right now! Nate writhed on the ground, roaring in agony.

It was so tight! Clamped down as hard as it could be with no room for relief, trying so hard to dig in! The only thing holding it back the blessing part of the curse where no injury he received would result in permanent damage. But that didn’t ease the pain much! He writhed and roared, unable to get the thing off of him! No! He didn’t want this happening to him! A bear trapped clamped as tight as it could be, right where it hurt the most!

“PAIN!” He cried, kicking out his legs as he rolled on the ground, unable to escape it, “PAIN!”

Is this what his brothers felt when they met their curse? What it felt like to be male? Before he had dreaded the idea of meeting his curse, now he knew that that dread was not unfounded, now he dreaded every moment of his existence while he was still caught in this trap.

“What on Earth is going on!” the cute girl from the other day demanded, bursting from the woods, alerted by the roars of Nate’s pain, “Probably just another boy having boy issues.” She grumbled to herself, “Seriously, what is it with you boys?”

And then she took in the situation and gasped. She could have made a retort about how she was right about another boy having boy problems, but she’d known how bear traps were. And a bear trap was no joke.

“Are you okay?” She asked running up to him, knowing that he clearly was not. The thought of getting caught in a bear trap in any way made her nauseous, and she knew how boys were with their weak spot. Oh oh oh, she didn’t even want to dare imagining what he was going through. Why were boys so weird?

“I’ll survive,” Nate gasped struggling to form any sort of words (or coherent thoughts even) through the all consuming pain, “part of the curse is that I’ll quickly recover from any sort of thing like this.”

Okay maybe a bear trap was kind of a joke then (Though she had no idea what he meant by curse). Of course the idea of what he must be feeling was nauseous still, but if he wasn’t going to be “ruined” or anything, she’d leave those nauseous feelings up to him, this could be amusing for her.

“If you’ll recover,” the girl bear said, “then wouldn’t it be funnier if I left you like this for a few extra seconds to watch your expression?”

“No no!” Nate cried, “Make the pain stop!”

“Okay, okay, fine,” the girl said, “By the way, I’m Martha.”

“JUST GET THIS THING OFF ME!” Nate wailed.

Martha sighed, apparently he wasn’t in the mood for small talk right now. She kind of could see why though. “Okay, let me see what I can do.”

Martha moved around Nate to look at the bear trap. Oof, that’s got to hurt. Okay, how to get it off?

“Okay, I’ll need you to stand up,” Martha said, “That way I can get at the trap better.”

Nate moaned pitifully as he rolled to his paws, front half still hunched over, back legs raised in the air. Martha suppressed a giggle. What a funny pose.

Martha moved toward the trap - feeling awkward being this close to him. “You smell weird” she announced, “better not toot while I’m here.” (Though Martha doubted he was in much mood for “tooting” at the moment, if he could even control such things when in this sort of pain. Martha didn’t want to admit that she herself was capable of doing something as weird as “tooting” as well.) Martha grabbed the trap in her teeth, and yanked.

Nate screamed, his brain doing flip-flops in pain. The bear trap held fast; it was too tight.

“Okay, that did not work.” Martha observed calmly.

“YOU THINK!” Nate cried, not sure how somebody in this much pain could still exist to experience this nightmare.

“See, this is exactly why I was born female. Weird stuff like what you’re going through is just not for me.”

“Like I had any choice myself!” Nate moaned.

“Okay, okay,” said Martha, once again observing the trap. “I think I can release it if I can find a way to grip these two levers on the sides and pull.” She said. She looked at her paws, “I just hope these bear claws can get a good grip…”

As she went to work trying to maneuver the levers aside, using her paws and teeth, she looked at Nate, speaking through her awkward mouthful of bear trap lever, “You know, for me doing this, you should at least admit how weird boys are compared to girls.”

“Okay, I’ll admit it,” Nate wailed through pain, not able to take it much longer, “girls are better than boys, boys are just stupid.”

“I didn’t say boys were stupid, I said boys were weird, there’s a difference.” Martha paused, mumbling to herself, “Though I do wonder considering how you managed to get caught in a trap like this.”

But Martha probably should have left that last part out and focused on the trap rather than talking.

Because Martha nearly had the trap free, just pull a little more…

And then her teeth lost their grip on the lever, her paw slipped free of the opposite one.

SNAP!

The trap slammed back closed. Nate cried out, crumpling once again to the ground. He had no mind left outside of pain.

Apparently words really do hurt. A lot.

Martha sighed. Boys. Must feel so weird to be so tough, only to be completely leveled by something so ridiculous that a girl has to help you out. If boys weren’t so weird, then she wouldn’t have to go out her way to help him like this. He must be so jealous of her freedom from this sort of pain right now. She knew she’d be if she were him. Good thing she wasn’t.

Not that Martha not being Nate brought Nate any good fortune.

“Okay, let’s try this again,” she sighed.

So, giving it one last try, she successfully managed to maneuver her paws and her mouth around the trap, pull and release it. Making sure it was still open, she flung it away as quickly as possible, sending it skittering across the forest floor as it slammed back shut. The sharp Snap made Martha wince. She’d hate to be anything caught in the way of that collision course. She looked at Nate. Oh yeah, he already had been. Twice.

Now free, Nate laid on the forest floor moaning his pain away. Martha stood by patiently, waiting for him to recover. It was ridiculous how much pain he must have been in to lay there as long as he did. Boys, count on them to have long recoveries from this sort of thing. Not that she could blame him, it was just… annoying.

(Boys boys boys. Why did she think of boys so much? It wasn’t like they were cute or anything. (Actually, they kind of were. Especially Nate. Even when they got hurt in that weird way of theirs.))

Finally, Nate gathered his legs under him, and managed to get to his paws. He looked at Martha awkwardly.

“Thank you for that,” Nate said, “sorry about… being a boy or something.” This was really weird.

“No need to apologize, it’s not your fault you were born weird.”

Nate stood their awkwardly, not knowing how to respond.

“By the way,” Martha continued, “There was something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Martha paused, waiting for it.

“Will you marry me?” She asked.

“Wh-what?” Asked Nate, taken off guard.

“I need to have a husband whose existence is weird to make me laugh every time I look at him in my life right now.”

“Why you-!” Nate roared indignantly.

And Martha took off into the woods.

“Come back here!” Nate yelled, chasing after her.

From in the shadows of the trees, a lone porcupine sat watching Nate chasing Martha, at first indignant by her insult, but hidden down deep, even from himself, with a slight edge of playfulness. The corners of the witch’s mouth rose slightly. She was a great matchmaker, wasn’t she?

Chapter Text

Gretchen looked over at Grey and sighed dreamily. Like the other griffin girls, she dreamed of taking a flight with the guy of her dreams, and for her, that guy was Grey. He was sure of himself, kind, and very, very handsome. She was going to ask him out when he was done with his conversation with the other students, before he returned to his dorm.

But unlike her fellow griffins, it wasn’t just a flight she was imagining. Though she found him appealing the way he was, she couldn’t help but feel certain appeal to the image that kept crossing her mind of him falling victim to a certain unfortunate circumstance. And though she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about it, she had already settled on a certain “prank” to ensure that circumstance would happen. Besides, the shopkeeper had assured her it was absolutely safe. She just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see the hottest guy fall victim to the hottest scenario. She felt herself blushing just at the thought of it, she could hardly contain herself. It was so definitely going to happen. What a wonderful thing males were, she thought to herself.

She tried to get her crush in check before she approached him, and no sooner had the others gone that she hurried up to him. “Hi,” she said blushing, “not sure if you remember me, but I’m Gretchen, in your class of Weather 121. I was wondering, do you want to go on a flight with me.” Oh, he was right there, so close to her, looking straight at her with those thoughtful eyes, she loved his presence so much.

But just then, thunder rumbled in the distance. Grey looked at her kindly, but shook his head. “I’m sorry, but that thunder sounds pretty close, best not to chance it.” He paused, “How about tomorrow?”

This was where her part in the prank came into action. “Oh, no worries, I got lightning repellent.” She pulled out a spray bottle and showed it to him.

“Really?” he said, grabbing the bottle and looking at it closely, “I didn’t know they made these.”

“Well, they do,” said Gretchen, grabbing the bottle, and spraying it all over herself. She made sure to slow down as she passed it down her underbody to make sure he realized how important is was to get it everywhere, even if applying it to… specific areas was kind of awkward to do in front of your crush. Grey tried not to watch, but he surely knew what was happening. It made her like him even more. Hopefully it made him feel the same way about her as she felt about him thinking of the flight they were about to embark on (or what he was about to embark on that he wasn’t even yet aware). Once she was done, she tossed it back to him, “So what do you say? Still want to wait until tomorrow?”

Grey shrugged, and sprayed the lightning repellent on himself too. He hesitated as he reached his own underbelly, but then applied it the rest of the way anyway, as discretely as he could with her politely looking away.

They were ready to go.

Only, Gretchen left out one really important factor. Yes, it was really lightning repellent, and it really worked. Mostly. But for some mysterious reason nobody could understand, there was one particular part of the body it did not work on. In fact it did the opposite there, it actually attracted lightning.

And it only happened with males.

As they flew over Griffin University and into the atmosphere, they could see the clouds gathering in the distance over the nearby mountains. No need to worry, they had lightning repellent.

Well, at least Gretchen had no need to worry.

Gretchen reflected upon the conversation she’d had with the store keeper when she’d discovered the terrible design flaw in the lightning repellent. At first she’d been aghast by the thought of it, no matter how attractive a scenario like that had sounded. “And they haven’t discontinued it?”

The storekeeper shrugged, “Well it may attract the lightning, it still puts on a protective coating the wards off any long term injury. Still quite a jolt, probably feels not much better, but it’s only pain, not real damage.”

“But what’s the point of it?” Gretchen asked.

“Well, it still works on females just fine.” Then she bent over and whispered, “Besides, some of the girls here find it the perfect prank to pull on the cute guys in their lives.”

Well, that sold her. She knew she might live to regret it, but her mind was now set, and there was no stopping herself. The idea was just too appealing to back out now.

Now, as they approached the storm, Grey checked his body uncertainly. “You sure this lightning repellent really works?” he asked again.

“Certain,” Gretchen assured him. At least for me it does, she added to herself.

So with that, they flew into the storm. Grey looked at Gretchen, he didn’t know her well, but she was pretty hot. She seemed somewhat shy in classes, but there was an inner light in her that he was always curious about, and always made her very attractive to him. He just hoped this flight with her would prove as promising in helping to get to know her better as he’d hoped.

At first things went fairly well. The rain pattered down on them, but lightning was still out of reach, but then-

BOOM!

Lightning struck a nearby peak, an avalanche of rock started tumbling down.

“Gretchen?” Grey asked again, “The lightning’s pretty close. You sure this is a good idea?”

But Gretchen remained suspiciously silent, just gave him a flattering grin.

Suddenly, Grey started to feel a sensation of static, hairs standing on end. “Uh Gretchen, I feel static, are you supposed to feel static if you’re lightning proof?”

But then he realized the static wasn’t affecting his whole entire body, just…

“Gretchen?”

…One specific…

And then the first bolt struck.

BOOM!

Grey felt his entire body explode with pain as the lighting sailed under his tail and through his legs, contacting right where he felt most sensitive and vulnerable. He screamed as pain worse than anything he could have fathomed shot through his entire body, but most painful of all, his… he couldn’t even say.

Grey hardly had time to process his survival from the last shock when the next bolt shot from the sky, right on target alongside the last shock. Grey cried out again as he staggered through the air, unable to stabilize his wings. Another bolt struck, and Grey stumbled down onto a nearby clifftop. He hunched down there, rear end in the air as if he was offering it up to the sky. Of course, that was probably the least thing he wanted, but the sky sure was taking up on the offer, striking him again and again, causing him to cry out horribly. He clawed his way forward, but it was no help, as the lighting followed him every bit of the way.

Gretchen began to realize instantly that maybe she’d made a mistake. She landed on the cliff beside him, and found herself backing up against a nearby tree. She put a paw over her mouth, her face beginning to burn bright red. The emotions she was feeling were so overwhelming she felt like she’d explode, as if she herself had been struck by some kind of emotional lightning. She wanted to scream, she wanted to roar with laughter, some sound wanted to explode from her mouth which she couldn’t even describe, and it took all of her willpower to keep it in, it was just too much for her Soul to contain. A long whimper escaped from her mouth, but that was just steam to vent out pressure from a volcano desperately wanting to erupt. Grey was just so attractive in this scenario, and apparently the lighting agreed strongly.

ZAP! SCREAM!

“I’m sorry!” Gretchen finally cried, she couldn’t hold it in, she needed to let something out “You were just so handsome and hot, and… I just couldn’t contain myself!”

Grey finally understood, he didn’t know how, but somehow Gretchen had meant for this to happen. If it hadn’t been so painful, he almost would have found it attractive, there is nothing more attractive than a girl who finds it attractive for a guy to get struck where it’s most embarrassing, but is too shy and modest to know how to express it well (Yeah, he had oddly specific tastes when it came to his type). But as it stood, each volt of energy that penetrated into his weakness was just too painful for him to process how attractive anything was right now. Well except for the attractiveness all-consuming static energy which his body could not stand.

As Gretchen watched, she couldn’t even begin to comprehend what Grey was going through. Of course she knew what pain was, she’d accidently zapped herself with an outlet herself once, but it was surely nothing compared to the pure energy penetrating Grey’s weakest self right now, a weakest self which she would never know on a personal level in her own experiences. She’d pictured this event in her mind’s eye, but now that it was actually happening, right in front of her right now, it was too much for her emotions to take. She knew she should feel bad for him, but seeing Grey hunched up like that was so ridiculous, so hot, she couldn’t even take it seriously. Besides he’d be okay. The repellant may be attracting the lightning, but at least it was also protecting against it. Or at least from any long-term effects of it.

“HAVE MERCY!” Grey cried into the sky. But the sky is just a sky, and it had no feelings, it couldn’t understand such concepts of mercy or pain, so it just kept striking at Grey again and again, not comprehending the trauma it was bringing to this unfortunate Soul. It had a job to do, and it was going to do it, a single Griffin wearing defective lightning repellant wasn’t really its concern.

“MY…! MY…!” Grey wanted to scream so much about the pain he was experiencing as the unceasing lightning continued to pummel him with bolts, but he knew a strange cute girl was watching, and although she surely knew all about the morbidity of the situation (and the fact, she’d actually set him up for this?), he couldn’t dare humiliate himself more by actually putting words to what was happening.

But then another bolt struck, and then another, both at the same time, different angles, but same target, interlocking and exploding with force like never before, and he completely lost all self-control. “MY N**S! MY B­***S!” He screamed as loud as he could. “MY *******S! MY T*******S!” He screamed, bursting out all the nicknames that no self-respecting Griffin would ever use to associate with themselves, and Grey was very self-respecting. But it’s hard to be self-respecting when the most embarrassing and sensitive aspect of yourself is being struck again and again by a quarter billion volts of lightning every single second.

Some of the nicknames Gretchen was familiar with – of course she knew the classics – but there were some she had never heard before, in fact, so many, she wondered if he had made some of them up on the spot for lack of mental stability. Of course these terms had only ever applied to other Griffins and never her personally, but she knew they’d always just been there in the back of her mind, and she loved the ring many of them and how they made her think about guys. Gretchen felt herself growing redder and redder at each nickname, some of them were so hot she couldn’t believe it. She’d have to take mental note of some of them. The fact that she was already so familiar with so many of the terms when none of them had really ever applied to her was too much for her emotions to take. Of course she herself had too much self-respect to ever think about having these terms coming out of her own mouth, even if she never had to worry about them being associated with herself personally, but she knew she’d never forget them, and it was the thought that counted.

She wondered if Grey knew any nicknames relating to her own self. It’d be cute if he knew a few that not even she knew. He was taking a Biology class, so maybe. Of course, no self-respecting Griffin would ever use them in any self-respecting circumstances, but just the thought that he might know a thing or two about her own most embarrassing self… well, she was already feeling a lot right now, just another thing to add to the overwhelming storm of emotions penetrating her Soul, the violence of it had to be almost as powerful as the storm penetrating Grey’s… well, you know. But as opposed to Grey’s storm of trauma, the storm within Gretchen was the most amazing thing she could remember.

But as the flashing torrent of electricity continued, there were no more terms Grey could come up with, so he just screamed and screamed and screamed. As he continued to pull away, he tumbled over, rolling onto his back. Suddenly, his vulnerability was all exposed. The lightning struck! Grey tried to clench his legs together, throw his paws over himself, but it was futile, every time he got close to protecting his most sensitive self, another bolt would strike, the after-force of the contact blasting apart any attempt of closing his body off. So he just writhed and screamed, Gretchen watching with fascinated horror as the bolts just kept coming, an unending onslaught of pure agony to her biggest crush.

But finally, the storm started to move on, and the lightning and rain slowed. As the fresh after-storm smell filled the air, the lightning stopped entirely, flashing only in the distance.

Grey lay on his side, cradling himself delicately, moaning pure distress. Oh he hated his life.

Gretchen stepped up to him cautiously, her legs were still shaking from the overwhelming emotions caused by the event she’d just witnessed.

“Grey, are you okay?”

Grey whimpered, and slowly and shakily pulled himself to his feet. Oh, he hurt all over - or at least he wished it was all over, the reality was much worse. “You set me up for that, didn’t you? That lightning repellant was somehow defective.”

Gretchen looked away, “Sorry… It’s just… You’re so handsome and you looked so funny and…”

She looked at him, but his eyes, though weary from exhaust, showed no anger. “That’s not the reason you asked me on this flight, is it? Is that the only reason you showed an interest in me?”

Gretchen looked at him. “No, I do like you, I really do. You’re smart and insightful, and I really want to get to know you better. I just found that lightning repellent, and it only works on girls… and that you could put it on a girl… and she could fly anywhere and be fine… but if you put it on a guy… ZAP! It was… too much a bonus to pass up. It was just too funny… And I liked you… And I’m sor…”

She trailed off as Grey looked at her a long moment, not saying anything, he was still hunched in on himself, still not recovered from what he’d just been through. She knew she’d come to regret this, and here it was.

But then Grey spoke, “I kind of like you too.” A beat. “Though I’d never have done anything like that. Not a good way to express your feelings.” He winced, still feeling a sharp shock of aftershock static. Ow. She really knew how to bring a guy down to his knees. Hopefully she didn’t make a habit out of it. “Please don’t do that again. Like ever.”

The looked at each other another moment.

“So you still want to fly with me?” Gretchen asked.

Grey looked at the sky, now clearing up, rays of late afternoon sun beginning to shine through again. “As long as you don’t give me any more lightning repellent.”

“Agreed.”

So with that, the two of them took back off into the air. As they flew through the mountains, they talked and laughed with each other, and got to know each other. Grey was a little bit sore from all the electricity, but he felt surprisingly energized, the storm must have recharged him or something.

“You know, I’ve been working on a theory,” Grey said.

“What’s that?” Gretchen asked.

“I think that there are different types of storms, and they bring different types of lightning. I think if something survives a lightning strike, in some situations the lightning may impact them in some unique way.”

“Really?” Gretchen asked, her eyes going wide. Honestly, this was the real reason she liked Grey, she could laugh at how hot he looked folded over, but really, he just thought of things in a different light, and that made him fascinating to be around. “What do you think this lightning was?”

Grey suddenly went silent, his face going red. Gretchen looked at him quizzically, urging him on. Finally, “Romantic Lightning. I think it caused an increase in my romantic feelings for you.”

Gretchen looked at him shocked. “Is that why you’re taking this so well. Why you still like me after all that?”

Grey blushed, “Maybe. Partly. But I think I always liked you anyways, the storm only increased what was already there. And the fact that you set me up like that…” really, really red, “that’s kind of… hot. Don’t do it again though, it hurts. Bad.”

And so they flew on. When they finally got back to the school, it was official, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Their friendship would only continue to grow over the years, and eventually they’d grow to be husband and wife and live a long happy life with each other. But that was still long in the future, right now they were still classmates at Griffin University, and they were just at the beginning of their special relationship that was just starting to bloom.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never wear lightning repellent if you’re male. If you’re female, feel free to go wild with it.

Chapter Text

Cherry stood at the edge of the branch looking up into the darkening sky, he could feel the anxiety for what was going to happen tonight rising up in him, but it was a good sort of anxiety, he couldn’t wait, and he just knew that by the time it ended, it would be the greatest thing ever.

He’d run all the calculations, speed, shape, mass, rotation of the Earth, atmospheric dissipation, all that mumbo-jumbo, and the results were conclusive, the small piece that remained of the meteor that was set to burn up in the atmosphere tonight, was going to land right here in this area – Cherry climbed down the tree and mapped out the ground in his head with his calculations – right about – he picked up a stick and drew a decent sized target on the ground - here.

Cherry sighed just thinking of what he could do with the space rock when it landed. Not everyday you gained a souvenir from out of this world, he knew it would be a special prize.

“Still expecting that meteor tonight?” Said a voice coming up behind him. Cherry turned around to see Sap and a couple other squirrel’s come up. Among them was Selah. Cherry felt his heart grow light just by looking at her.

“Yeah,” said Cherry, turning his attention quickly back to Sap, “Want to come watch it land?” He pointed to the target, emphasizing it’s exact place of impact.

“Sure, if I have nothing better to do.” Sap said. “Doubt you’re right about this though, but we’ll see.” He looked at the others, “Come on guys, let’s go, if we’re lucky, the trees down by the river might still untouched.”

As they scurried off to the river in their acorn collecting, Sellah stopped and took one last glance at Cherry, giving him a smile before she hurried after her brother.

Cherry felt his heart flutter. Every time he looked at her, he could feel it inside, tell that what she was going to witness tonight was going to be spectacular, that somehow, this meteor would just bring up in her special feelings for him that she couldn’t even process.  He didn’t know how, but he could already feel the strings of destiny beginning to pull, and just the thought that she might be feeling special feelings about him tonight made him feel special feelings he couldn’t even process. He wanted to giggle, they just felt so amusing, he didn’t know why.

Hold it, he reminded himself, you don’t want to rush into things. If she’s going to feel…he tried to suppress his tittering… giggly feelings about you, then fine, but it has to be in her own time.

But he knew she was going to, he just knew, he just didn’t know how.

As Cherry and a few other squirrels gathered around looking up at the night sky through the wide opening in the branches, Cherry couldn’t help but feel the renewed excitement. A space rock, how special.

“Now remember everybody, stay away from the circle here, that’s where the meteor’s going to land. It’s not going to be big enough to do real harm, as long as we stay out of the way.”

Cherry looked at his target on the ground, standing as close as he dared, but not too close. As much as he hoped for a bullseye, he knew that even with his advanced calculations, that was a longshot. Anything could happen on the way down, and even the slightest miscalculation could send it far off target. But he was confident in his abilities. Taking into account the margin of error, as long as everything stayed on course, the piece of the meteor still should land somewhere in the circle.

“Look!” Selah suddenly cried, fascination in her voice, and there it was in the sky, a shooting star, the meteor entering the atmosphere, flashing through the sky one moment full of beauty, then winking out of sight. Cherry looked at Selah, warmed to witness such a wonderful event with her, the strings of destiny pulling them even closer to what was about to happen.

“Where did it go?” Sap asked. “I thought you said it’d land here.”

Cherry looked at Sap patiently, “That was just it entering the atmosphere. It’ll be long cooled down before it gets here. Just wait.”

And so they waited.

And then they heard it, hurtling down from the sky, a dark speck in a darkness, nearly impossible to make out in the light, headed straight for them…

Headed straight for the target!

Cherry raised himself on his back legs, anticipation rising.

Make it…

And it hit.

BULLSEYE!

But Cherry only had time to momentarily celebrate his victory. For despite all his calculations, all the thought and energy he put into predicting where it would land, there was one small factor that Cherry failed to take into account.

Under the thin layer of dirt in which the target was sketched, the earth was hardpacked with rocks and roots, so that when the piece of space rock hit the earth, rather than penetrate the surface as expected…

It ricocheted.

Right at Cherry.

Before Cherry could even process what was happening, the chunk of space rock collided, smashing firmly…

Right where his legs connect.

Cherry still hadn’t fully realized what happened when the pain hit him, full force.

He crumpled to the ground, whimpering slightly from the back of his throat, his mind still not fully comprehending the pain he was in.

Then he started yowling, cradling himself on his knees with all his might. He couldn’t take the pain, it was too much. He yowled his misery into the night, hardly even sure how he got here anymore, just of the excruciating pain he couldn’t bear.

PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!

But it wouldn’t. He was down for the count and there was nothing to bring him back up. He cried out his agony to the night with everything he had, but nothing brought him any relief just one continuous block of pain that overshadowed everything he ever was, so he stayed there folded delicately on the ground, moaning in helpless self-pity, the energy to continue to yowl drained all out of him.

Oh him, why him, it hurt too much for it to be him.

This was the strings of destiny he’d been hoping for?

And all the while, the other squirrels were standing around him, completely flabbergasted by the whole situation - This is not how they saw Cherry’s special meteor event going. Out of all the other squirrels here, it was Cherry who’d been brought down, none of the others, just poor unfortunate him. The example of pure absurdity to them all. Selah just stood there watching completely speechless.

Well, Cherry had been right about another thing all right, Selah was seeing him with new special feelings she couldn’t process right now, seeing him scrunched up on the ground, ears folded back, so cute and ridiculous, brought down so vulnerably in ways she never could be. It was so undignified to imagine, she never could dare think of an actual boy in this way before, especially one as smart and charming as Cherry. But here reality had put it right in front of her so that she couldn’t not think of him in this way. How beautifully and stupidly made boys were that they could be brought down to such agonized cuteness due to an aspect of themselves that was so unspeakably embarrassing… She couldn’t help but giggle to herself self-consciously in all her non-vulnerable girliness.

As Cherry continued to moan, Sap began to realize Cherry wasn’t going to be going anywhere anytime soon, the party was over, and he’d already had his share of amusement for the night.

“Come on guys, I think we’ve seen enough for the night.” He took one last look at Cherry, “Sorry Buddy, I’m sure that hurts.”

He had no idea…

But as they scampered away, Selah stayed where she was. It felt awkward, but she knew she didn’t want to abandon him. His pain made him cute, his cuteness made her want to watch out for him, so she just waited there for him to recover, thinking about how funny the whole situation was, trying to suppress her occasional giggles.

It took quite awhile, much longer than the time it had taken the rock to reach the earth from its entrance from the atmosphere - Wow, it must of really hurt, what must it feel like to be a bo- you know what, she didn’t even want to know… But then… At first, his moaning began to calm, and eventually he fell quiet all except for the occasional whimper. At this point, Cherry was still hurting pretty bad, his pain was still at a max, he couldn’t believe the pain he had went through earlier for it to have calmed down to this. He couldn’t stand this, how he had ever managed to make it through earlier, he had no idea. He just wanted to lay crumpled up on this ground forever… and maybe he would.

And all the while, he was well aware of Selah watching him. The cute girl had been watching him in all his vulnerability all this time, he wanted to wail inside with embarrassment, but he was too busy wailing with pain. As much as he wanted to regain his composure in front of such a cute girl, his pain was too much to get past, his poor little male body too delicate to abandon his injury. Once more, he just moaned it all out. Before she could catch herself, this gave Selah another giggle. Immediately she threw a paw over her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she giggled again, “But it is kind of funny.”

Finally, Cherry stood up, still hunched over on all four paws.

Cherry said nothing, he just searched the ground on shaky paws, well aware of the humiliating implications of his predicament. But as embarrassing as he knew this was, he began to see the amusement in the situation, and realize how giggly it must make her feel. It really was really cute.

Finally, Cherry found what he was looking for, at his back paws, right where it had fallen. Right under what it had hit.

In his front paws, he shakily picked up the space rock, and held it out to Selah. “Here, I wanted you to have it.” He said, “I wanted to tell you, you are special. Just like a shooting star.” Despite the pain and embarrassment, he could still feel that flutter inside him that he had first had when he had decided to give her the rock in the first place.

Selah’s eyes glowed as he placed it in her paws, “Thank you,” she stammered, but then she paused, “But shouldn’t we wash it first,” she hesitated, “it did hit your…” she really didn’t know how to finish the statement.

Cherry turned red, “Yeah, we can try down by the river.”

Weakly, she smiled at him, and once again he felt it in his heart, he just knew, Selah was special, and he would always cherish her for that.

Even if he was embarrassing in contrast to her, as he’d just found out.

So with that, they slowly headed for the river, him limping beside her.

Perhaps the strings of destiny did know what they were doing after all.

Chapter Text

Vissa looked at her husband Tenor who lay asleep across from her, breathing softly and peacefully in his rest. Vissa watched him admiringly, he was so soft and sweet, her husband. Ever since she’d met him, he’d been very shy. She herself had been very shy too, but they had gotten along well sharing almost everything together, it was as if the other was the sole dragon in the Universe who they felt already knew them for who they were, and who they could feel comfortable sharing themselves with.

But there were some things Tenor was so shy about, he had a hard time even sharing them with her. Even now that they were married, he was still very self-conscious about his own body, and though he never tried to hide anything from her, he always had a hard time opening up about the more embarrassing aspects of himself.

Vissa had always been shy about those aspects too, but over time, she’d begun to feel a kind of amusement over them as well, sometimes so uncontrollable she would find herself giggling to herself, and the other dragons around her would think she was crazy.

As Vissa watched Tenor now, he was laying on his back, legs spread apart. If he noticed her watching, he’d shift in embarrassment, find a less embarrassing position, and say no more. But right now he was completely out, and didn’t even notice the world.

Vissa looked at the gun she had checked out from the library. Should she? He was so cute, and it’d be so funny, she almost couldn’t resist. Ever since she’d heard what fellow dragon Cindy had done to her husband Leviath, this plan had been forming in her mind. She knew her husband was too precious for this, but she couldn’t help herself from feeling the humoristic draw. First she had checked the gun out from the library, and now here she was, in perfect position to perform her deed. It was almost too much to back out now.

And it was just too amusing, that boys were so sensitive that way. Besides, it wouldn’t really harm him really, that’s what dragon scales were there for, they were impenetrable to any force. Didn’t absorb the pain so well (or at all really), but he wouldn’t sustain any real damage. It’d be no worse than being shot with a paintball, except maybe a million times worse.

Okay, she was doing this. Poor sweet sleeping male husband. If only he knew what he was in for.

So Vissa aimed her gun.

I’m sorry Tenor, but I just had to do this…

BANG! BANG!

She fired of two shots, quick and swiftly, two different targets, very close in proximity, but aimed with great precision to ensure she got both sides equally.

And less than an instant after being fired, the bullets hit target, right within that opening in the back legs, hitting sharp and clean.

Tenor’s eyes shot open, he immediately burst into screaming. He dropped onto his side, his talons falling between his legs, clutching himself desperately. The bullets had hit him hard and blunt, and he couldn’t fight off that nauseous agony that was washing through his body, two perfectly aimed shots competing for excruciating dominance of his frail body.

“My poor self!” He cried out, “My poor self!”

He had never expected such pain to ever consume his body, he couldn’t take it. How could it be him! How could it be him!

Now Vissa just stood there watching, having no idea what it felt like, only watching him writhe. For her, it could have felt like nothing, and it’d be all the same for her. Her husband was surely acting in pain, but how much, she’d never know.

“Does it really hurt that bad?” She asked.

“Hurt that bad?” Tenor whimpered “I want to die!”

Wow. That must hurt a lot then. She was kind of feeling bad now. Maybe if she pretended it didn’t hurt so bad she could feel better about it. It’s not like she’d ever know the difference. But she was sure it didn’t work like that for him, he’d be in whatever pain he’d be in, regardless of what she thought about it.

But then she saw the bullets, laying on the floor beneath him, all crumpled from the impact of the collision, and she realized how hard of an impact it must have been. She couldn’t bear to think of what that must have felt like. She’d just imagine that impact felt only a little painful and leave what it really felt like on the side of reality she had nothing to do with.

“I’m sorry,” she said to her writhing husband pretending he was feeling like an 8 out of 10, instead of acknowledging that it must really be much, much worse (she could probably bear to imagine an 8 if she had to), “do you need help with anything?”

“No,” whimpered Tenor through teary eyes. He was well aware of how embarrassing this all was, how his most embarrassing weakness was put on display in front of his own wife. Sure she was his wife who he shared everything with, but she was also a girl to whom his predicament was foreign, and therefore he realized how ridiculous he must look to her. He was ridiculous, that’s what boys were, and all his life he’d tried to hide himself from it. And now here Vissa was, watching over him as he writhed in his ridiculousness. Why had she done this to him? She knew he was sensitive. And the pain was too much for any sane dragon to take. Oh, it hurt so bad.

“If it’s any consolation,” Vissa told him, “I’m sure the pain will end eventually.”

Yes, the pain would end eventually, but that time was not right now. Right now the pain was pure excruciating agony which simply could not be escaped, pain that was so unbearable that it was impossible to imagine being able to bear it ‘til that time in which it would ease. But eventually it would fade. Just that time was not now. But hey, at least Vissa wouldn’t have to view that wait as unbearable; that was only for Tenor to know what it really felt like.

Vissa looked at the gun. Perhaps it’d be best to return it to the library next time she went in.

Chapter Text

Olivia stood by the river watching the water flow through her webbed feet. She felt the relief of the cool water rushing away her emotions. She had just had an argument with her husband, and she didn't feel good about it. As a couple of beavers, their home was supposed to block the stream, but couldn't they at least make an opening for fish to pass by? He'd said it would destroy their whole blueprint plans and he couldn't have that. They'd said some hurtful things, and finally, she'd stormed out without anymore to say.

As she stood by the river, she caught a strange glint of something. Looking closer, she saw it was an oddly colored orange rock. Cautiously she reached down in the river to pick it up.

The instant her paws closed around it, she thought she heard a cry of agony somewhere around her, or maybe... a few? She couldn't tell, the river was kind of loud. But when she again opened her paws to look at the rock inside, it stopped. Maybe it was nothing.

She inspected the oddly colored rock curiously for a moment, but other than it's color, there was nothing that different about it. Still...

She closed her paws around it another time, just out of curiosity...

Back at the Beaver home, Olivia's husband was at work preparing a nice dinner for him and Olivia, perhaps this would make up for their argument, when suddenly another rush of agony hit him. He cried out, trying to hold himself back, but the agony was clutching at him where he was weakest. He dropped the pan and dropped to his knees, his paws clutching desperately at his weak spot, the weak spot only a male would know, right where his legs connect. What was happening?!

Olivia stood by the river, clutching the rock tightly, she was so frustrated with her husband. She knew she loved him, but she had to get this anger out. She squeezed the rock tighter.

Olivia's husband cried out in agony as he collapsed onto his side. The pain was unbearable, he couldn't take it! Anywhere but THERE!

Olivia stood by the river clutching the rock tighter and tighter, screams of agony were now clearly rising from the forest around her, but she was so stressed she didn't even notice, she just putting more and more pressure on that rock her paws aching from how tight she was holding it.

Unbeknownst to her, as she held this rock, every male on the entire planet of Armond would feel excruciating pain in the most weakest of places, the tighter she held it, the more painful it hurt. And she was holding it very tightly. Every male on the planet was screaming out in terrible agony, writhing around in pain, and every female on the planet was looking at them wondering what on the planet was going on.

But Olivia didn't notice, she was just releasing all her frustration onto that stone, it was just a stone, what would it care?

But she knew her husband was just trying his best. Yes, she was frustrated, but they would find a way to work this out. Finally, she began to let herself calm down, and her grasp on the rock calmed. Finally, she opened her palm and looked at the rock. That was nice. She really had felt that rock had helped her relieve some stress.

She dug a hole in the ground and buried the rock inside, she'd come back here again next time she needed to relax some of her nerves.

As she walked back through the forest toward her home, she kept hearing the whimpers of unfortunate animals that seemed to be recovering from some tragic ordeal recently. What had happened here while she was distracted?

Finally, she reached her home, opened the door, and went inside.

"Honey, I'm home!" She found him in the kitchen, laying curled up weakly on the floor.

"What happened to you?" She asked.

"You don't want to know," he rasped.

Chapter Text

Cindy awoke once again in the middle of the night. It had been several months since her flame pain stunt, and she still could hardly believe that her strong handsome husband could have been reduced to such screaming vulnerability due to an aspect of himself that was so charmingly ridiculous.

Ever since the "event" she had restrained herself from creating any more incidents. While it had absolutely been the hottest thing she had ever witnessed (in more ways than one), she knew he didn't deserve it. Obviously it was all fun and games for her, but she guessed he didn't find pain very much fun. She knew she didn't. But that's what was so great about it, she didn't have to feel any pain, it was all him.

Still, she had refrained for so long.

But after so many months, she was beginning to grow restless. After what she'd done, others too had begun to get ideas; fellow dragon Vissa, of all dragons, apparently incited some sort of incident with a gun to her husband. She still couldn't believe sweet gentle Vissa had actually done that! Cindy looked at Leviath, he'd had enough of a break, right? She thought so. At least for her. She wouldn't have to worry about feeling it, so she didn't have to worry about if it was long enough for him, as long as it was for her.

Leviath was asleep once again in that strange position of his, on his back, leg's spread. She chuckled to herself, didn't he realize sleeping like that left where he was most sensitive open to such vulnerability?

Cindy crept over to him. She took out a vial that she had bought earlier that day, all in preparation for this. While last time she had used fire, she wanted to try something a little different this time, hopefully it would cause quite a different reaction, but one just as amusing.

She undid the lid on the vial and gulped the contents down. Perfect. Getting in position right next to Leviath's back legs, she prepared herself for what she was about to do.

Poor Leviath, has no idea of what he's about to go through again. Sigh. Oh well.

She took a deep breath… and blew.

The vial worked, I had turned her fire breath into the coldest ice breath the world had ever known, and in a split second, the entire area in the opening of Leviath's back legs was a freezing block of solid ice.

Leviath's eyes shot open as he woke up with a gasp. COLD! He gasped, tried to take another breath, but the air escaped him, driven out of him sharply. He gasped again and again, each one taking his breath away, he couldn't breathe! The weakest part of him was frozen solid, so cold it penetrated like millions of sharp little needles deep into every nerve of his weak male weakness.

He gasped, he wheezed, he roared, he did all at once, but the pain was so bad, it had taken away his ability to concentrate. His talons shot down to grab himself, but all he felt was a solid block of ice, so cold his talons instantly felt like they'd fall off from sudden all consuming frostbite! (Of course that wasn't possible with dragon scales, but it certainly felt like it). Even if his talons could make contact, he would only be holding a solid block of ice, no way to warm his real self.

"HELP!" He gasped, "HELP!"

Cindy suppressed a chuckle, once again it had worked, as if it was some sort of mystical button that could magically send him writhing whenever she felt it a good time. Instantly Leviath looked at her, the realization of what had happened hitting him. "YOU!" He cried, "NO! NOT AGAIN!"

Cindy couldn't hold it anymore, she burst out laughing hysterically! "I'm sorry!" She cried, "It's just too funny!" Yes, she'd sent him into pain like this before, but knowing that something like this had happened was nothing like actually knowing it was happening to one right across from you at this exact moment.

"MY WEAKEST SPOT!" Leviath gasped with horrid accusation, "MY WEAKEST SPOT IS FROZEN!"

He gasped and writhed and wheezed, he was completely freaking out, his inability to control his breathing left him no energy left to find control of his body, his weakness was so cold it felt like it wanted to shatter into a million pieces. "HELP ME! BURN THE ICE AWAY!" It's safe to assume he wouldn't want another flame incident like the one he had a few months ago, but with such cold, all he could think about was warmth, so he was probably willing to risk it.

"Okay," said Cindy, she got back into position, and blew onto the ice. Unfortunately, the serum was still in effect, and what was already cold shot to ten times more frozen. Leviath screamed, throwing his head back into the floor. "YOU SADIST!" He gasped between wheezes, the cold causing him to shiver all over. He hated this right now!

"I know," Cindy replied fluttering her eyes. "You know, you could try lighting it yourself."

Leviath gasped, he could hardly breathe. Then he firmed his determination. Yes, he could, if he could get enough of a breath to do it. If he had enough warmth inside him. He gasped, trying to get air in, struggling not to have it driven out. Breathe…

And then he let it out, a short hot breath that was more of a stuttering gasp, right at the icy area of himself.

CRACK!

Leviath screamed as the loudest crack that could ever be heard shattered through the ice, feeling like it was shattering him with it. But though crack lines appeared through the ice, the ice was so cold, it remained a solid block, so cold that the cracks in the ice filled in themselves after only a moment. He literally had no breath of his own left after this, he was TRAPPED! His weakest spot trapped within an icy prison of mortal agony to which the rest of his body could not reach. He was literally freezing his… well, never mind, you know- off.

Cindy sat back, "Oh well, I guess we'll have to wait for it to melt on its own I suppose."

"NO!" Cried Leviath, "I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

Cindy chuckled again, "Don't be silly you've lasted long periods of time in situations you couldn't take before; you'll be okay. Now take your time, I'm just going to sit over here and watch. Have fun."

Obviously Leviath wasn't having fun. But Cindy was.

"NO! MAKE IT STOP! MY WEAK SPOT!" Leviath roared desperately for relief.

"I know," said Cindy, "That's why your so hot. Or this time, should I say cool? You're cool." She made a clicking sound as she imitated putting on sunglasses.

Sure Leviath had done pain like this before, but he could bear the thought of it happening to him right now. Or ever again. HE NEEDED IT TO END!

If only Leviath's past self that just endured his flame pain had known what his future self would eventually go through, back then he had thought it was over, that not being able to endure existing in his own body was a thing of the past and he could at least enjoy existing as himself from then on out. But little did he know this would have eventually became of him, that if he had known then what would eventually become of his poor body, he would have realized how every moment he moved away from that horrible flame pain, he was really heading a moment closer to this freeze pain; that every moment he could once again learn to be content existing as himself, the clock was ticking closer to the moment where he'd once again be in so much pain he'd wish he never existed. Every peaceful moment he had ever had with Cindy, and it all led to him suffering and writhing here; the entirety of his life not worth a second of this pain; that even in his moments of peace, he was still encased in this shell of soon-to-be agony that he called his only body!

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" Leviath cried through wheezing gasps of pitifulness.

"Easy, because I'm not you." Cindy replied frankly.

Ironic how the most fun things were the things that never happened to you, that if you actually knew what it felt like, it wouldn't be fun anymore, and only by the act of not experiencing, but knowing someone else was experiencing instead was it so fun.

Now obviously, Cindy did feel sort of bad, this was her husband after all, but she'd come to realize after last time with the flames that there were just some things that were Leviath's alone to experience, things she could be glad she didn't have to experience herself. So she might as well have fun with it.

Besides, he would recover from it eventually, right? It didn't matter how much it hurt him and made him writhe and made him scream and made him so desperate to escape his body in the moment, during that time Cindy would feel nothing (except for the hotness and amusement of it all) so no matter how much he suffered, at least for her, his entire length of suffering would feel like nothing at all, like with last time, he might not be able to endure it, but she could bear it indefinitely, so that's all that mattered. To her.

"Don't worry," she told him, "I can bear it for the both of us."

Leviath roared, he could NOT bear it for a thousand dragons, if not more. It did not matter how much Cindy could bear it, great for her, Leviath could not endure one more second of his existence!

And then Leviath realized one major problem: "I NEED TO PEE!" He screamed.

Cindy burst into hysteric laughter. "That is not going to work!" She cried.

Of course she was right! Every muscle covered by the ice was frozen to the core solid. Even if it wouldn't be brought to a stop by the ice, his body couldn't operate even enough to get it there, he felt it all building up inside him with no way to get out!

Fortunately, Cindy was unbridled by such problems. "You know what I think I'm going to do?" She said, "I think I'm going to pee." So she went over to their dragon toilet box, squatted, and went. Oh the sound. She stood there, savoring every moment of it, the feeling of pure bodily relief that she knew his poor male self was being so heartlessly denied.

Now, on a better day, Leviath might have found this attractive, but now, it just made everything encased in ice all the worse. Leviath cried out horribly. It was times like these that Cindy felt true admiration of her female self, so different than him, never having to deal with such agonies. She admired too his male self, as long as she didn't have to deal with the problems he was now facing now. Males and females were truly odd things, and fortunately for Cindy, dragons were no different. He was probably envying her femaleness right now. She liked making him envy her femaleness. There was a lot to be proud of, she was quite hot. Maybe not as hot as him, but his hotness was best left to her amusement rather than something to experience herself.

So, Cindy just let Leviath remain there, writhing and freezing, the ice was taking an eternity to even begin to thaw. Leviath was shivering all over, gasping, "Please. Please." He cried.

Cindy once again began to feel a little bad, perhaps she could make it a little better for him. Of course not his true weak spot, she wanted to ensure that that continued to suffer terribly in utter frozen agony for now, but perhaps she could help with the rest of his body to keep the chill from spreading.

"Here," she took out one of their reheatable blankets, which she had set to flame just before this had started in case an incident like this should happen, it should be good enough to use now. "Wrap this around yourself."

Leviath took the toasty warm blanket and wrapped it around himself as tight as it could go. It was nice for the rest of his body, and the shivering began to subside somewhat, but though he tucked it through his back legs as hard as he could, the true freezing was buried so far under an impenetrable block of ice, that not even the slightest touch of warmth could get through, ice still so could, that even a blanket as warm as this had almost no effect on melting its way through. And he also HAD TO GO!

Cindy sat back and watched him writhe and wail awhile, just chill, in a much more fortunate way than him. This was nice, it truly was. Such handsome manliness merging so perfectly with tragic vulnerability.

For his part, he just had to breathe, it didn't matter that the ice would continue to try to drive the oxygen out of him, he just had to grit through those breaths no matter how hard they were. So every moment he was left unable to comprehend how he could possibly bear to make it to the next moment, but no way to stop himself from bearing that one awful moment into the next. Oh, he had to go so bad, if the cold wasn't bad enough, such a need to go made it hard to concentrate on the survival part of his existence. Fortunately, as a dragon, he didn't necessarily need all the things that gave him the ability to survive, he would continue surviving anyway, even if the pain he felt took away all the things that made his body habitable, a dragon just had to suffer in their uninhabitable body until the point of inhabitability was past, and Leviath was no exception, he was trapped in this horrible agony until the agony was done.

Yes, fun.

But after awhile, Cindy began to yawn. As entertaining as this was to watch, she did need to get back to her beauty rest. There was no way Leviath could be feeling very restful right now, but that was the fun in it, that while she could prioritize her beauty rest, he was struggling to even to be able to bear existing, and simply knowing that such a thing was actually happening right now to him in real time was enough to set her mind in a place of "ah, this is right."

As she positioned herself, ready to lay down, she looked over at him, still strangling himself with the blanket, shivering pitifully. She sighed. "Here, over here you lug," she said, lifting her arm invitingly.

So, as she laid down, Leviath struggled over, and curled up next to her. Not because she wasn't evil, because she totally was, but frankly because she was warm (and admittedly kind of hot)- Well except for her Soul, her Soul was as cold as the ice that encased his weak spot.

Pressed tight against Cindy, Leviath continued to shake, trying helplessly to get the blasted cold to leave. Suddenly, Cindy felt the sharpness of the coldest ice she had ever felt touch her. She cried out and pulled herself away from Leviath. "Hey, keep your cold weakness away from me!" Wow, that was cold, if it felt like that just briefly touching her, imagine what Leviath must be going through, it couldn't be fun. Because as much fun as it was to know how much pain he must be in, there could absolutely be no way that pain was pleasant to experience as oneself. It'd be best to let him experience that pain in his own isolated world of misery, so she could appreciate how awful it must be to be his handsomeness without actually having to be it herself.

"Listen, I don't want you to suffer. Except where it hurts the most." Cindy said, "But the rest of you, I want you to remain comfortable. It's only funny if you suffer in ways I never would."

Yep, totally evil.

So the night wore on, Leviath suffering, whimpering and gasping in ways one could hardly imagine, Cindy holding him, but make sure to keep out of the way of where he was coldest. The ice continued to thaw slowly, painfully slowly, the thawing sending awful needles of pain into Leviath where he was most weakest. Every moment was too much to make it to the next, and no amount of blankets or Cindy snuggling could truly warm what was beyond all warmth.

But finally the block of ice was gone, and it was just Leviath there shivering.

"There, that wasn't that bad was it," Cindy said, "See, it's all over now."

What a stupid thing to say.

Leviath stood up, "I can't believe you did that to me! Again!" No matter that, he had to get to the bathroom. Bad.

Cindy shrugged, "You got to admit, it was hot. Well, I mean for the fact that it was the total opposite of hot."

Leviath stopped, he was already in the bathroom spot going like he never had before. She had him there. It was kind of hot that she found his freeze pain so entertaining. "It HURTS!" He cried finally, continuing his restroom break. "I can't even stand existing!" Oh, he was still so frozen. Going now was so against what his body was ready for right now.

"I know that," Cindy fluttered her eyelashes, "That's why I waited so long to do it again. You needed time to once again appreciate being you before you were made to regret your life again."

Leviath sighed deeply, "Please I can't go through that kind of agony too often."

Cindy chuckled, her cheeks going red, "Right, let's make sure I don't cause you that kind of suffering too often."

Leviath felt that he probably should regret using those keywords "too often", and by the suppressed amused look in Cindy's eyes he had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time he woke up screaming in mortal agony. Leviath began to feel very insecure in his own body knowing it was only a matter of time, it was essentially it's own time bomb until he was once again regretting his own existence. But he looked at Cindy, and he knew, alright, she was a complete sadist, but she also cared for his long-term well-being, he knew that if she agreed to not doing it too often, he wouldn't have to worry too often, she'd only do it when she was sure he'd fully recovered mentally from the last time (and when she was sure he was least expecting it, which Leviath couldn't decide if that was really a good thing). Someday once again he'd be regretting ever existing, but right now, he could rest secure in the moment with Cindy, and know that for the time being, it was over.

Leviath sighed, not having one's week spot encased in ice… so toasty.

…

And who knows, maybe Leviath has nothing to worry about. Maybe Cindy was done. But how can we be sure? Do we really know yet if it'll be worthwhile being him from here on out, or will he once again regret his life due to some future circumstance we don't yet know? Only time will tell whether Leviath's life from here on out will be too painful to be worth living or not, but... oh the uncertainties of being male.

So, is it worth it being you? As Leviath teaches us, one never knows until that fateful day when pain overtakes their very being, and they drop to the ground in mortal agony wishing they were never born.

But even then, it's alright, it'll pass.

Eventually.

But now, that story told, none of this was even the least of their concerns right now.

For deep inside Cindy's belly, those fire eggs that we hinted at in the first one were already beginning to grow.

And if she knew what she was in for, it'd be she who would already be getting a head start on regretting her life.

Because like it or not, it was her turn.

Chapter Text

Rhiana was rummaging through the old box of tape her mother had sent her when her husband Calcifer passed by.

“Okay, I’m going to head out now.” He said “Gotta fly over to the mechanism store and see about a few things. See you in a bit. Love you sweetheart.”

“Okay, love you sweety.”

And with that, headed out the door, stretching his wings for flight as he did so.

Rhiana turned her attention back to the box, all the memories of her childhood filling her. So many shows and movies that had defined her as a child shaping her into the dragon she was today.

But then she came across a tape that made her stop, many of the tapes carried special memoires, but this one stood out among the others.

She remembered when she first had recorded it, she was just into Highschool and she had meant to record the latest episode of the Dragon Puff Girls one day (she was always told she was too old for that show, but she didn’t care), but had accidently set it for the wrong channel. She had been horrified when she came back home later that day to find that what she had expected to see as another adventure of her favorite girls yet again saving the Village of Villageville was instead a heavy duty exercise program.

At first she was so horrified she wanted to cry, but as she watched there was something about it that opened up a side of her that she never knew she had.

The instructor was a strong muscular male not much older than her, and he had an upbeat personality and a voice that just made you feel good about yourself. To say the least, Rhiana had found him very very attractive.

Over time, Rhiana found herself watching that tape again and again. Eventually, the more she watched it, the more she found herself beginning to join in the program too.

“Rad Drago Boy here, getting you into shape ” The instructor introduced himself “To start we’ll begin with a warm up.” He readied his body, rolled his manly muscles, “Now shift your weight from one foot to the other, to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right!” He demonstrated, “You got it? Now, put some energy into it, put some energy into it, yeah, that’s right,” As the instructor rocked back and forth on his back legs, Rhiana did the same.

“Now, turn around and face your rear to the TV, yes exactly like that,” He demonstrated by turning his rear toward the camera, “Keep shifting your legs left, right, left, right, rock to the beat, rock to the beat, yeah you got it, you got the moves!” Red Drago Boy continued, moving his rear for the camera, back and forth, back and forth. Rhiana faced her rear toward the TV and rocked back and forth to the beat alongside him, “Throw your hips baby, that’s what I’m talking about; add some tail action in there, don’t be shy! Yeah! Rock that booty, rock that booty! You go!”

They rocked, back and forth, back and forth, the energy in the room was real.

“Now, we do this because it helps strengthen our leg muscles, but mostly we do it to show off our booty, because you have a nice booty, be proud of your booty.”

“You have a nice booty too!” Rhiana exclaimed to the dragon on the TV as she rocked left, right, left, right with him in perfect sync.

Rhiana felt herself filling with elation, what would he think of her if he met her in real life? Would he think her booty was nice if he saw it in real life. She couldn’t help but feel bubbly all over inside at the thought that maybe it would be yes.

“Now, let’s switch things up a bit,” Rad Drago Boy announced as they finished with that segment, “Here we got a 50-ton barbell,” he gestured to a barbell layered with weights, “We are going to work those legs and lift it.”

At this stage in the video, Rhiana always took out a one-pound weight; it was the most she dared to use on this exercise.

“Now roll on your back and lift that weight,” he did so and began lifting the weight with his back legs, “Now, pump your legs,” Rad Drago muscles rippled under the weight of the barbells as he pumped them, up and down, “Pump It, Pump It. Yeah you’re doing it. Crunch those Muscles!”

Ooh those muscles, so strong and manly, Rhiana’s heart quivered.

“Now, with one leg,” He removed one talon from the barbell, his muscles quivered all the more, his face clinched, straining under the weight of 50 tons, “You’re strong, you can do it!” he strained. “One… Two…” He pumped, every muscle in his being trembling, Rhiana felt her heart bubble, anticipation rising at what she knew was to happen next, “that’s it, you got it…” wait for it… “Thre-”

His talon slipped, he lost his grip on the barbell…

SMASH!

The bar came smashing down right through the opening of his back legs, the weights on either side crashing into the floor, just barely managing to miss the rest of him.

His whole body jerked, it tried to fold inward, in an instant he was roaring in agony desperately trying to remove the bar from his most delicates.

Rihana’s eyes were riveted to the scene on the TV, in awe of the travails that this handsome masculine body could endure. Knowing that her response would be nowhere near as severe as his, she dropped her own weight, intentionally aiming it away from her body (even she wasn’t crazy enough to try that) and jerked her own body as if to pretend it had hit her as well.

Rad Drago Boy’s crew had managed to remove the weight, all 50 tons of it, and now he was writhing there, talons clutching where the bar hit him, moaning in pure angst. Only a dragon could take it like that, and even the best of them would never take it that well.

Rihana was a girl, the travails of Rad Drago Boy did not pertain to her, but she grabbed herself in her own somewhere-most-amusing and writhed and moaned through this part of the exercise instruction alongside him anyway. A world of anatomic mystery and intrigue may have laid between them, but through these actions, she could be right there with him, in this moment of their bonding time.

“What are you doing?” Rihana’s mom said suddenly as she passed into the room.

“Pretending to be male,” Rihana replied simply, still on her side on the floor in her manly fetal position.

“Okay sweety, just don’t forget to incinerate the garbage before I get back this afternoon.”

“Okay mom,” Rihana replied as her mom left through the front door, shaking her head in befuddlement.

The moment she was gone, Rihana returned her attention back to her exercise program.

Yes, she loved this program, this program gave her happy feelings she could not explain. She loved to follow along with him. She liked how holding down there reminded her how different she was from him. She wondered if Rad Drago Boy would like it too. Pretending to be male reminded her how glad she was to be female, how glad she was that there were guys out there who could be males.

OWWW-HOWWW! She moaned at the internal thought knowing how much that pain on screen must’ve been real.

The truth was, nobody could truly know what he had been going through in that moment except him, and made it very special. Finally, Rhiana rolled back onto her stomach and held her head in her talons to watch the program, once again in admiration of the dragon still moaning on the television before her. “You go Drago Boy, you just lay there and have your ‘you’ time.”

Rad Drago Boy moaned one last time, and then the broadcast cut out, the tape turning to static…

That was the last time Rad Drago Boy had been on the air, he was never to be seen again. Rhiana still had the tape to remember that fateful day, but as to what actually became of that handsome dragon on the TV after that, she would never know, the only remnant of his memory a sole VHS tape, a tape that went with her through the years, brought her joy in the hardest times, never failed to cheer her up when she just needed a voice to tell her that she was something nice, someone to be proud of.

As the years passed, as we do with all things of our youth, Rihana began to watch the tape less and less, when she left home to go to college, it had been left behind in a box in the attic all but forgotten, a memento from a time long past.

As Rihana looked at the tape now, the memories of her youth began to return to her. She looked over at her VHS player, barely used these days, and shrugged. Hooking up the necessary wires, she put it in.

The image had faded somewhat through the years of unuse, but the image was still able to be made out. The moment Rad Drago Boy came onto screen, she gasped. He was younger then, his facial features more taut, but the face that had been clouded over in her memory with time was unmistakable.

A tear rolled down her eyes, her spirit overwhelmed with emotion.

As she watched, she began to fall once again into the same rhythm of movements she had once followed in her youth, the old bubbles beginning to rise once again inside her. It didn’t matter, she didn’t care, to her this tape was more valuable to her than a thousand years of hoarded treasure.

Then suddenly the door opened. “What are you watching?” Her husband asked in bafflement.

Rihana stopped and turned to look at him. Without hesitation, she rushed over to give him a hug, the man who had given her so much joy growing up, who had helped her through so many hard times, made her feel bubbly like none other, who had encouraged her to be worth everything she was to this day, the man who still stood by her side with love and compassion even now. She knew now where the love inside her came from, her inspiration. She was so overwhelmed, she could almost cry.

“Thank you,” she told her husband with tears in her eyes, “thank you for everything.”

And in that moment, she knew, through all her memories leading her to this moment, the promise of her youth that made her feel home had been fulfilled.

Chapter Text

As the possum couple walked out of the theater, Mina couldn’t keep the big amused grin off her face. Osmund looked over at her as she let out a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Osmund asked.

“I just keep thinking,” Mina said, “about when that character was just trying to do his best, and then he got knocked in his weakspot, and then he went down in agony like only a male could… I just love when that happens.”

“I don’t get why you’re into that stuff,” said Osmund self-consciously, not wanting to admit the thought she found it funny was kind of hot.

“It’s just the thought… how every male… and how funny you all are there… that when you get hit there… no matter how weak or strong you are… seeing you all become so delicate in and dropping in agony I could never understand, and there’s nothing you can do about it… the fact that we all work that way for this to happen is just… unbelievable. You males have such amazing bodies.”

“Well, not every male,” Osmund said, turning red.

Mina looked at him, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, not about having an amazing body… About being in that kind of pain… I can’t imagine something like that happening to me.” He shifted his legs.

Mina looked at him for a good long moment. Finally, “You mean to tell me that you’ve never been hit there in your entire life?”

Osmund went very red, imagining what Mina must be imagining about him this very moment. “If you’re into it, then why have you never done it to me?”

Mina thought a good hard minute. “Well, I’m not that mean. It’s funny, but if I did that, I could never take it back. Plus, there’s nothing like the first time, if I did that to you then it would be over, any time I did that to you after that, you would already know what it feels like, now that wouldn’t be very much fun. Plus, I couldn’t scar you with those painful memories.”

Osmund turned redder still, on the one paw, he was curious what that could even feel like to be in such agony, on the other, the thought of having his poor unfortunate shell of a body in such pain made him feel nauseous, of course that couldn’t happen to him.

Mina sighed, thinking.

“If only there was a way where I could do that to you and take it back like it never happened so you’d never have to live with yourself as if you did.”

The moment she said this, there was a sudden stillness in the air. Then, a moment later, a flash of blinding light. Mina and Osmund both jumped, covering their eyes.

Then, a voice, all feminine and majestic came from that light.

“Behold, I am the Goddess of Male Exclusive Injuries, your request has been heard and answered. From this day forward, you Mina will have the power to reverse time for the sole purpose of undoing your partner’s first injury. Use this power well for the further you become from the injury the more your powers to undo it diminish. This power has an infinite amount of cycles and can be used up to 15 minutes past the recovery of his last injury. Enjoy your gift and may you forever find blessing in its usage. Fare well.”

And then another flash, and she was gone.

Mina turned to face Osmund, pure amusement lighting her eyes. Osmund’s eyes went wide.

“Wait, here?”

“Why not?” said Mina, “Nobody’s going to remember it anyway.”

Osmund tried to stall for time, all this time he was wondering what being hurt there could feel like, now suddenly, he realized he could be mere seconds away, and he was not ready, “But wait, we don’t even know if-”

But it was too late, Mina had already planted her foot right between, right where he was sensitive the most.

Osmund’s eye’s went wide, it was worse than he could’ve imagined, instantly, he dropped to his knees grabbing himself, moaning, desperately wishing he could be trapped anywhere but his own body.

“Not me, not me,” he moaned, “How could this be happening to me!”

But Mina was feeling none of that, just an overwhelming sense of self-conscious ecstasy building up in her at what she had just done to a guy.

She tried to not fall over in her amusement, “I can’t believe I just did that,” she rasped.

“Make it STOP!” Osmund moaned wretchedly, his very soul screaming with pain, “You don’t even know if this’ll work! UGHHHH!”

“Where about to find out,” Mina said. She closed her eyes, wondering how this was supposed to work, then suddenly, in a flash, Osmund was back standing upright next to her, the expression on his face like nothing had ever happened. It worked, he had just been in absolute agony, and now he was like he never could imagine what h had just been through.

Osmund saw the look of mischievousness cross upon Mina’s face, the emotions that had went through it before going through it all over again, “Wait, we don’t even know if-”

But Mina didn’t give him another moment, in an instant, Mina had once again planted her foot right where he was most sensitive.

Osmund’s eyes went wide and he dropped to his knees once again, moaning horribly. “Not me, not me. How could this be happening to me!”

Mina burst out laughing hysterically, catching her sides trying to process that this had happened not once but twice in the same night. This was too good, she had always feared what would happen if she got him like that, that the magic of the first time would be over, that the consequences and the memories of each time would dampen the excitement of the next time, but now she could witness this whenever she wanted, however hard she wanted without having to worry about the lasting impacts, because those impacts could be deleted. It was too HILLARIOUS the possibilities!

“Make it STOP!” Osmund moaned wretchedly, “You don’t even know if this’ll work! UGHHHH!”

“Yes I did!” Mina burst out, “This is already the second time I’ve done it!”

Osmund’s face went red, planting himself into the ground in agony, “No, it can’t be! I would’ve remembered if this happened before, this HURTS SO MUCH!”

“Don’t worry,” said Mina, “It’ll be like it never happened.”

The world flashed again, and instantly, Osmund was once again standing in his upright position. She couldn’t wipe the hilarity off her face, this was really happening.

“Wait,” Osmund said, catching the look on her face, once again experiencing that sudden fear of what could be about to happen and not being ready for it (while it’s already happened twice, so ready or not, it’s a thing), “we don’t even know if-”

“That’s what you said the first two times,” Mina said.

Osmund barely had a moment to process this before Mina once again planted her foot where she knew he could not bear.

His eyes went wide and he dropped to his knees, moaning in agony, “Not me, not me. This can’t be happening to me!”

“You know what’s funny,” Mina laughed, “each time this happened, you said almost the same exact thing.”

Osmund remained there clutching himself bitterly, “This can not be three times, this hurts too much for even once. UGHHHHH!”

“Oh Osmund,” Mina said in admiration of her partner, so adorable folded up like that, “Get ready for round 4.”

Osmund’s eyes went wide, “Wha-!”

A flash and they had reset.

Osmund noticed Mina looking at him admiringly.

“What?” he asked confused, why was she looking at him like this right after that Goddess had showed up out of nowhere? “No wait, we don’t even know if-”

“Oh Osmund!” Mina laughed, “Why does it have to be so funny!”

And with that, she kicked him once again, harder than ever before, so hard this time, she hoped it felt worse than death (Because in the end it would never matter).

Osmund’s eyes popped like never before, and he collapsed, clutching himself in agony, saying his main lines with more angst than he had ever said before. Mina burst out laughing, clutching her sides desperately.

“Oh Osmund, you’re so funny, every single time!”

Clutching her sides in laughter, she went to all fours, turning around and waving her tiny hiney at him (causing Osmund to flush through his pain), tittering in her own self-consciousness of her own amusing back-half, but once again loving the awareness of how different her own embarrassing region was from his sensitivity. She couldn’t believe the situation, she couldn’t believe him, that guys like Osmund could exist so separately and amusingly from girls like her. Still kneeling, she clutched her sides in desperate laughter. “And the fact that this could never happen to me, but it’s happened to you four times…!”

She crumpled into the ground, rolling around on her back laughing hysterically, legs flailing in the air.

“PLEASE!” Osmund moaned “Make this stop! Go back and end this already!”

“No.” Mina said decisively through laughter, “It’s going to be erased anyway, it doesn’t matter how long you lay there suffering-” The thought of what he must be going through and how little how long he had to go through it actually mattered when it was all erased… it didn’t matter to Mina how desperate he got, because in the end it’d be like it never happened… but the fact of how unbearable it must be now that he couldn’t bear that extra time Mina would make him go through until it didn’t matter… it was just too much that she burst into uncontrollable, hysteric, flailing laugher she could not stop.

As Mina continued to laugh, Osmund continued to beg for her to make it stop, but she was too busy laughing that it all fell on deaf ears. Osmund struggled to bear through the pain with his very life, and he was failing desperately! IT HURT SO MUCH!

As Mina’s laughter began to calm down, she caught glimpses of passerby’s pausing to stare down at them. Mina realized it was probably time to move out of this spot.

Mina recovered her feet, but Osmund was still off his moaning on the ground (really, how hard did she kick him? Hopefully hard). Mina looked at a passerby, “You see,” she replied, “he just went through something that could only happen to him…” her face lit up mischievously, they’d never remember it, so why not, “But never to me!” she thrust her hips, spinning around on her feet, emphasizing her much less sensitive lower half than him. Then, as she did so, there was a flash, and it all reset.

Mina stood there alone with Osmund, her face shining with the amusement of how much different she was than Osmund, Osmund noticed the look on her face, feeling all the emotions of fear of an oblivious-to-the-kinds-of-pains-a male-like-himself-could-face kind of possum that he was, “Wait, we don’t even know if-”

Mina interrupted him, “Yes we do, four times!” Mina laughed, thinking of all her newfound memories, if only he knew.

Osmund stood their flabbergasted. Had Mina really seen him collapse in pain just like in the movies and he didn’t even remember it? Had she really seen him in his most embarrassing male state, and he had no idea? He flushed. What embarrassing male memories did she have of him that he didn’t even have of himself. He shifted his legs feeling completely strange in his own body of the things he couldn’t even comprehend that had supposedly happened to himself. That couldn’t be right, he felt like nothing had happened. He’d seen it happen to other males of course, but surely not him, right? If it was really as bad as they say, surely…

“Come on,” said Mina, turning around on all fours to scamper home, waving her hiney at him in the process (Osmund blushed, but after all he’d been through, he deserved it), “It gets a little busy here soon, let’s get home and try this again somewhere more discrete.”

With that, Mina scampered off towards home. Osmund hesitated, second guessing the wisdom of following. Then he shrugged, just like now, he wouldn’t remember any of it by the end anyway. Like if he didn’t remember, it didn’t happen, right? Unfortunately, as he followed Mina home, he was failing to think of all the regret and the pain that’d await him before it’d be undone in the first place.

Chapter Text

“Griffins don’t buck,” Grey declared firmly.

“Well, it says you will on the box,” Gretchen said, taking out the box to show it to him, “Males will buck, 100% guaranteed.”

Grey sighed, once again his girlfriend had went out and bought a product to embarrass the living daylights out of the one place on him that the daylights should never shine (even though he wasn’t sure where that phrase came from given Griffins never chose clothes in their entire history), and somehow, despite his self-consciousness about her thinking about him this way, he couldn’t help but find it endearing.

Grey took the box and looked at it, his face went red, this was so embarrassing. He looked at the door, sure that his roommate wouldn’t be back from his classes for awhile and sighed, “okay, we can try this, but close the door.”

Gretchen’s face lit up, amusement filling her to the brim, “really?” She tried to suppress her laughter, but it just came out in small titters. She rushed to the door to close it, and Grey sighed, feeling the dread at the oncoming regret he knew was sure to come, at least these walls were soundproof.

When Gretchen came back, she opened the box and pulled out two bands with mystical looking details along the band.

“Why are there two?” Grey asked.

“So we can try it together,” Gretchen replied, amusement glimmering in her eyes.

“But you don’t have…” Grey didn’t finish the thought.

“That’s the point,” Gretchen snickered, taking the band at passing it all under her underbelly.

“No latch point detected,” the magical band declared in a mystical feminine voice, Gretchen suppressed her laughter.

Grey was blushing bad now, he figured when he did the same thing, he wouldn’t have the same result. Cautiously, he took his band and passed it under his belly (he looked at Gretchen awkwardly, she was watching every move), toward his back legs, then-

“Latch point detected.”

In an instant, the band lifted up, and like drawn to a magnet, sprung forward, latching on to his…

Grey gasped, more from the suddenness of it than anything, but after a second, he paused, sitting down lightly on the floor, “actually, that doesn’t feel too-”

“Entering stage 1.”

Suddenly, Grey’s face twisted, “okay, maybe it is a bit…”

He could feel the sudden tightness of the band, he squirmed a little in discomfort as he tried to remain still in his seated position, but he wasn’t in any actual pain. Still, as Gretchen watched him, her face turned red, she was obviously trying to suppress her amusement at this, there was nothing cuter than a cute guy expressing discomfort at his most embarrassing region.

“Entering stage 2,” the mystical voice declared.

Suddenly, Grey leapt onto all fours, “Yow!” feeling the band tighten a little more, this time he tried to reach for himself, just to ease the discomfort he felt, but then he ran into a problem.

“There’s a forcefield,” he said, peaking under himself, “I have a forcefield around the band.”

Seeing Grey’s discomfort was getting too much for her to bear. “Of course there is,” she said, “we want you to buck, not fall to your knees and stay their folded up holding yourself.”

Grey paced back and forth, trying to ease the growing tension within himself, he kicked a leg out behind him slightly, then another, moaning silently, but there wasn’t much he could do.

“Entering stage 3.”

Grey’s eyes went wide, now it was getting serious, he stumbled a few paces, trying to remain calm, but it was too much, “Griffins don’t buck,” he said to himself through gritted teeth, kicking out his legs behind him, only one at a time so as to relieve tension but to not actually buck, “Griffins don’t buck.” But he couldn’t hide it, he needed to do something to relieve the tightness in his weak spot. He struggled to reach there with his front paws, but the forcefield was still up, desperately, he kicked at the dirt behind him, one leg at a time, but he couldn’t stop it, finally, all the tension building up in his back region was too much, he pulled in both back legs, and flung them out behind him in a buck.

Gretchen’s eyes went wide, “You did it, you actually did it,” she giggled.

Grey stumbled back to all fours, he managed to stay steady for another few seconds, then-

Buck.

As Grey struggled to remain on his feet and suppress his bucks, he felt he couldn’t handle it no more.

“Entering stage 4.”

That’s when Grey couldn’t hold it no more. “No!” he cried, flailing out his legs behind him, “no!” he cried, bucking once more.

As Gretchen watched Grey stumble around the room, bucking every moment or two, she couldn’t suppress her laughter, it was clear that Grey still maintain some control over his movements, but he was increasingly loosing his ability to keep it together.

“Please!” he cried, hunching over and throwing his back legs out behind him, “Make it stop!”

“I’m sorry,” Gretchen laughed, feeling, “the box says it doesn’t stop until you’ve bucked to the max any boy can.” OMG, Gretchen just loved boys!

“Entering stage 5.”

And it was then Grey lost all control, Grey cried out in his most agonized voice and threw himself across the room, throwing his legs out behind him, landing, folding in on himself, then throwing out his legs again, his whole body rolling like waves as he bucked and bucked again like there was no tomorrow, tail flailing behind him uselessly like a flag flapping in the wind.

“MAKE IT STOP!” he cried, “MAKE IT STOP!”

And Gretchen just stood in the corner, her face growing redder and redder at the crush she had on him at the moment. How could boys like him be so PERFECT! Oh, she loved them so much! Boys were undoubtedly the most hilarious and attractive things on the planet that this kind of stuff could happen to them, and Grey was the most attractive of them all, and it was all thanks to…

“MY N**S! MY N**S***!” Grey screamed as he bucked uncontrollably.

Gretchen threw her paws over her mouth suppressing a scream, she just wanted to squeal over the perfection of those words, how accurately the made her feel about the plushness of Grey’s existence.

“MY B***S!" He continued to scream, legs flailing up behind him, “MY T*******S!"

“Oh, you’re so funny!” Gretchen cried, falling over onto her side in laughter, “Keep this up, please, I can’t take it!”

But before anymore could happen, there was a knock on the door, and in that instant, Gretchen’s laughter stopped, and her eyes went wide. Oh no, Grey’s roommate must have come back from his class early.

“Oh no!”

She looked back at Grey as his eyes widened, through his bucking, he shook his head, sweating to hold back anymore outbursts.

Gretchen went to the door and cracked it open just a bit to peak out, Grey clinched his eyes shut as he bucked silently, desperate not to make any outbursts while his roommate was at the door.

“Sorry, Grey’s roommate, if you could just come back in a little-” Gretchen started, but then she saw that it wasn’t Grey’s roommate at all, but a group of her friends who had come looking for her.

“Hey, Gretchen, Brittney said you’d be here, we’re having a party in Seim’s Hall, care to join us?”

Gretchen looked back at Grey, “Uh, me and Grey are in the middle of something at the moment, maybe a little later?”

As Grey continued to flail desperately, unable to gain relief, he finally couldn’t hold back any longer his whimper, he quickly flew a paw to his mouth, but it was too late.

“What’s going on in there?” one of her girlfriends declared.

Gretchen looked back at Grey, his eye’s went wide, he knew what she was about to do.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a bunch of girls,” Gretchen said as she flung the door wide open.

All the girl’s went wide as they caught sight of Gretchen’s bucking boyfriend inside, Grey couldn’t suppress the cry of angst that rose from his throat, first at his suppressed screaming, now at a bunch of Gretchen’s girlfriends seeing him like this.

“So as you can see, we’re kind of busy, so we’ll join you later,” and with that, she slammed the door on their faces, but not before she could hear the suppressed giggling of a bunch of amused girls outside.

By now Grey was whimpering, “Make it stop!” he cried, “Make it STOP! Oh my b***s! My b***s***!"

Oh, how humiliating using those terms in front of a cute girl like Gretchen, only to see her giggle like she did, but after all this, she surely (and probably all her friends) knew all those terms by now anyway, so yeah, male dignity was ruined forever.

“You know you’ve been on stage five for quite awhile,” Gretchen observed, she checked under him to see if the band was functioning properly, giggling at the thought of all that was going down under there, but unable to get a good view because of all the bucking. “I think it’s broken,” Gretchen added mischievously, “it’ll probably stay stuck that way and keep you bucking forever.”

Grey gritted himself in agony, unable to bear the thought of that happening. He was so helpless, and there was something so endearing about helpless bucking boyfriends.

But just then, the band lit up again and pulled the most nasty stunt of them all.”

“Entering stage 6 7 8 9 10.”

And just like that, without any warning, the band jumped 5 whole stages to the most intense setting Grey could imagine, the band became so tight, it was almost like being a victim of a hydraulic press, Grey screamed, unable to bear his body anymore, legs flailing out behind him like never before, throwing himself in the air, landing, in unending waves, anything he could do to escape the pure pressure inflicting the weakest, most sensitive part of his entire being.

“MY N**S***! MY B***S! MY T*******S!" He screamed, “MAKE IT STOP!”

But it didn’t stop, he just kept bucking, throwing himself into tables and beds, knocking his experiments to the floor, (Good thing lightning proof glass was also fall proof) he couldn’t bear it, he could only buck and scream for desperate relief that he couldn’t even imagine anymore, this pain, this bucking, was the only life he could imagine.

Gretchen on the other paw was loving this too much, that she really had to pee “I’m sorry!” she cried, but she knew she was not, she knew why the band didn’t work on her but worked on Grey, and she couldn’t believe how much she loved being a girl right now, being a girl in a world where guys existed. She fell to the floor laughing hysterically as Grey could do nothing but buck, a girl griffin would never buck like that. Then, at that moment, Grey pulled back his head one last time and screamed at the to of his lungs “MY N**S***!”

And then suddenly, “Final stage complete.

There was a whirring and the band fell free to the floor between Grey’s legs. In an instant, Grey dropped to his knees, clutching at himself in agony.

As he lay there slumped over on the floor, Gretchen recovered from her laughter enough to go over to him, he went red knowing that she had seen that all, why did being male have to be so embarrassing?

“Well you were at it with all your bucking,” Gretchen managed through her laughter, “We were invited to a party, want to come along?”

As Grey moaned pitifully, he nodded, perhaps it’d help to take his mind off of what had transpired in this room, “Just as soon as I recover.”

Recover. Gretchen thought to herself, of course he’d have to recover after that, he was a male afterall.

“Why do you do this stuff to me?” Grey asked wearily.

Well, because you’re male, and it’s funny, was the obvious answer, but that wasn’t quite it either, was it? He was her favorite male, and she liked him for who he was, not just the funny aspects of himself (though those aspects never failed to get to her), he was smart and fascinating, and he just liked lightning and that made him cool, she liked that he was cool, and maybe just seeing the coolest guy she knew in the funniest of situations, that just worked for her (worked too much actually). “I just like you,” she said, “I really really like you.”

“And you’re in a constant state of in heat,” Grey observed.

“That too,” Gretchen managed before she lost it again.

Oh girl, she really needed to pee. She really hoped Grey noticed.

And she really hoped Grey’s biology class had explained how that worked for girls, because it was just too funny. She was so glad she was a girl.

So Grey and Gretchen went to the party, they ate some chips, pizza, played some games, and watched a movie. Grey was pretty aware of all the girls from Gretchen’s friend group looking at him during the thing, they knew what had happened to him in that room, they could tell from the limp he still had in his walk, but Grey spent his time just being with Gretchen. Of course he felt self-conscious knowing all the things she knew about himself, why were guys designed so embarrassing sometimes - he couldn’t believe a dignified griffin like him could be so embarrassing in front of a cute griffin girl like her – but somehow being embarrassed in front of Gretchen made her feel so much more endearing. As he reached into the chip bowl, and felt her touching his paws as she reached in as well, he looked over at her, and she looked over at him, and Gretchen was just the girl for him.

Chapter Text

As Oliver and his family stepped into the Mall for the first time in all week, he felt excitement growing in him. He was looking forward to going over to GameStop and seeing if there were any exciting Video Games to look at.

"Mom, can I-"

"Yeah, go ahead," she said.

"Mom," cried one of Oliver's sisters "I need to pee!"

"No, no sweetheart," Oliver's Mom hurried to cover her mouth, "We don't say that out loud, remember? Other people could be listening."

Oliver's Mom looked around self-consciously to make sure nobody was paying attention, then she led her children discreetly over the bathroom. Quietly, she stepped into the bathroom to make sure it was empty, then she peaked out.

"The coast is clear, you can come in," she looked at Oliver, "Can you keep watch?"

Oliver stood awkwardly by the entrance and nodded.

"But Mom," complained Oliver's sister, "They have doors here."

"We still don't want anyone to know you're in here, it's just not proper."

Oliver stood awkwardly by the door while his sister went, then he waited while his other sister went too. Fortunately nobody came by while he was waiting, because he hated trying to explain to others why they shouldn't go into the bathroom without telling them that anybody was in there. Plus, a 3rd Grade boy otter standing in front of the girl's bathroom... weird. Never go in public, he always thought, it's super embarrassing to let others know you have to go.

Finally, they came out, and Oliver straightened up, "Can I go to GameStop now?" he asked.

"Yes, of course sweety," said his Mom.

"Thank you," Oliver said, quickly taking off in excitement.

Once at GameStop, he started looking at the games with wonder, so many options. This Ori and the Blind Forest looked fun. He stayed there awhile, considering his options, even talked to the store manager about the latest releases, and finally selected the new Sonic Superstars Game, and headed out the door. Not once during that whole time did a single creature in the store, himself included, think about once that he was an otter who would sometimes use the restroom; that was just the way he'd been taught it should be.

CRACK!

Oliver watched as the baseball soared across the court, probably a hundred miles per hour. It bounced off the ground and everyone went running for it. From his seat as a benchwarmer, he couldn't help but wince. Those balls looked hard, he couldn't imagine getting hit by one of those at that speed.

Oliver noticed that his throat felt dry, so, standing up, he went over to the water cooler and took off a paper cup from the stack.

CRACK!

As he drank his water, he watched the game proceed. Maybe another cup...

Oh, Billy made a Home Run, he knew he could do it.

Suddenly, Oliver stopped.

Oliver looked at his empty paper cup, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He'd probably drunk too much water, and now he needed to go.

Nobody was watching, maybe he could sneak off to the bathroom real quick.

As he made his way to the bathroom, he looked around to make sure no one was watching. He reached the door, slowly opened it...

Stepped in and looked around.

Empty, good. He didn't need to advertise to the world that even he sometimes had to pee, it just wasn't appropriate.

He went into a stall, locked it tight behind him, and proceeded with his business. When he got out, he washed his hands, and headed back out to the field.

"Oliver! Where were you?" his coach asked upon seeing him, "I was going to send you in, I had to send Chet in in your place."

"Sorry," said Oliver, "I just had to... get a drink."

That was technically true, but the coach looked at him skeptically, then at the water cooler, right in visible sight...

"I don't know what it is with you kids and water fountains," he sighed to himself, "in my day, the water from the cooler was as good as any water. Doesn't matter that it's hose water, it's still water and I'm proud of it."

Oliver turned his eyes back to the game. Chet stood at the plate, bat in hand, ready for whatever ball could be thrown at him.

As the pitcher readied the ball, Oliver watched his best friend, urging him on...

"STRIKE 1!"

Chet grunted in frustration.

"Come on Chet," Oliver said quietly as the pitcher readied another ball...

"STRIKE 2!"

"You can do it..." Oliver said.

The pitcher readied one last ball.

CRACK!

Oliver cheered as Chet made it three bases onto the field.

The coach looked at Oliver, "You're in."

Oliver readied himself, straightened his cap, and grabbed the baseball bat, ready to go.

As Oliver stepped out onto the field, he suddenly got a sense of... vertigo? Something like that?... A sense of how big the field was.

He stepped up to the plate, adjusted his bat...

"BALL!"

Okay, that was just rude, he wasn't even ready.

He got into position, breathed tight, he was ready.

The pitcher pitched...

Oliver readied the bat...

He swung!

CRACK!

A perfect hit!

The ball went soaring through the air...

SMACK!

Right into the place where Chet's legs connected.

Chet went still; Oliver barely had time to process what he'd just done...

And then Chet dropped. Straight to his knees. Clutching himself and moaning angstily.

Oliver flinched, suddenly a whole world of embarrassment filling him on behalf of his friend. He couldn't imagine how Chet must feel. He couldn't even bring himself to admit to using the restroom, much less... Sure, the other students were more open about using the restroom and stuff than he'd ever dare to be, but surely they too must find some things just as unspeakable as he did, and he couldn't imagine what it must feel like to have something like this that concerned a part of yourself that was so unspeakably embarrassing happening to you in front of everyone.

And then the pain!

Oh Chet!

It can't hurt that bad, it can't hurt THAT bad, Oliver thought, because there was no way his friend could be in that much more pain than he could imagine.

But then, of course it did, there was no way he could be making that face if it didn't. Chet just lay there moaning in agony, everyone just standing around, not sure what to do. Oliver caught sight of one of his girl classmates shyly struggling not to laugh, and Oliver couldn't help but blush.

It shouldn't be so funny, but suddenly he couldn't help it, it was. That a living Soul could be in so much agony and embarrassment, it was just wrong; what Chet had to be going through must be worse than the worst kind of torture, and Oliver believed torture was the most horrendous thing in the Universe that it was criminal to think that anybody should be able to go through it... So then, why was this so funny?

Oliver shifted his feet uncomfortably; never in his life had he thought something like that could happen to his friend, yet it had. Even more, he had never imagined it happening to himself. But what real difference was there between him and Chet? The thought made him nauseous, that it could've been him out there moaning in pain instead.

But it wasn't Oliver out there, was it? Oliver would feel too ashamed in himself. What would his mother think, him showing himself off like that. Oh, the embarrassment.

Oliver watched Chet folded up moaning on the field. Poor Chet. As selfish as it was, Oliver felt a deep revulsion inside at the thought of that it could ever happen to him. It would never happen to him, right?

Oliver got home that night feeling very awkward. He couldn't stop thinking about poor Chet and the whole situation that could've happened to any boy. His Mom asked him how he was doing, but Oliver couldn't manage anything but a "fine", he couldn't bring himself to mention Chet to his Mom, he wouldn't even be able to find the words. Did Chet's Mom know what happened to him during the day? Could he ever speak to his Mom properly again knowing that had happened to himself. The shame Chet must be feeling right now to know himself so vulnerable. So vulnerable because of something so unmentionable. And now everybody knew. Even... the girls. (Why was Oliver blushing?)

Oliver ate dinner with his family, his sister needed to go "pee" again, which fortunately was fine since they were in their own house, but their Mom gently advised her not to advertise it, because it might embarrass her brother (Oliver was always embarrassed to advertise needing to go around his sisters, so it made sense for it to go both ways).

After dinner, it was movie time; tonight it was Oliver's time to pick. Oliver selected a movie they had checked out from the library, Shrek 2; he had never watched it before, but everyone had told him it was good.

So he put in the movie and it began:

"So she said, what's the problem, baby?

What's the problem? I don't know

Well, maybe I'm in love (love)

Think about it every time I think about it

I can't stop thinking about it."

Yeah, this was good, Oliver could feel the momentum building with this; he liked Shrek, Shrek was about to go on a pretty cool adventure, he knew it.

So, from the start, Oliver was invested, couldn't wait to know what happened next...

Until that one scene.

The cat was attacking Shrek, Shrek was crying out in pain.

"Get it off!"

"Hold still!"

THUMP!

Oliver flinched.

Shrek fell to his knees.

"Did I miss?"

"No, you got them."

Oliver's feelings once again hit him all over again, all this time Shrek had been so anxious about meeting his in-laws and this is how it ended up for him. If he had known how it was going to go, would he have been even more determined to get out of it?

Oliver flinched, glancing over at the rest of his family.

"Mom, what happened to him?" One of his sisters asked.

"Yeah Mom, what happened," asked the other.

"He got hurt," their Mom answered plainly, though she didn't sound too pleased.

His sisters' eyes grew wide, "Just like that?" they asked.

"Just like that," their Mom said, not elaborating further.

Oliver felt awkward, he was the only one in the room that something like that could happen to, and though no one even looked at him, he was really feeling put on the spot. This was his movie choice, and it felt he had basically announced to all of them what made him feel self-conscious in himself. Girls at school watched this? He felt himself go red. Had Sammy seen this movie? He thought of Chet once again, and now Shrek, he wanted to hide his face from the world. Why were boys like this?

Still, he enjoyed the movie after that, the transformation into a human, the epic battle scene with "I Need a Hero", he could see why it was everyone's favorite.

After the movie, he asked his Mom about it.

"It was good, it was fine," she said, "I'm not sure if movies should be putting stuff like that in it for kids, that's all," she continued, "But it was fine."

Oliver felt uncomfortable. Perhaps things like that shouldn't be in kids movies, but what about when it happened at school? What did you do about that?

At school a few days later, it was announced they were going to be playing Hockey today for P.E. A bus came and picked them up to take them to the nearby rink. Fortunately, Oliver knew how to skate, but he wasn't sure how good he'd be on the ice with all that equipment and that Hockey stick.

As he boarded the bus, he passed by where Chet was sitting. "Hey," he said to his friend.

"Hey," Chet said back simply.

Oliver sighed, ever since his incident, Chet had been in an awkward state of reservation, as if he didn't know how to communicate with his classmates knowing they knew what they knew about him, and Oliver didn't know how to communicate with him back, not sure how to talk to someone who had been through so much more embarrassment than he ever could've imagined.

And sadly, the seat next to Chet was already taken, so Oliver took a seat near the back of the bus instead. As he sat down and the bus began to pull out, and watched the world begin to pass by out the window, he wondered if he'd ever be able to relate to his friend again.

When they got to the rink, they all piled out full of energy. Inside the building, a skating instructor came by to give them instructions.

"After you grab your skates and gear and helmets, and come down here where you can take a seat."

Oliver made his way down the line where he eventually grabbed a pair of skates in his size. He rolled them gently with his wrist to make sure they had a good feel, grabbed his other gear, then moved to find his chair to could sit down in. Because his last name started with a letter so late in the Alphabet, he had to sit near the end in the back again, but he didn't mind, it allowed him a place to think outside of the spotlight.

Once everyone was all seated, the Instructor turned to look at the class.

"Now, Hockey is a highly competitive game, you play to win and only to win. Once you get a feel for the ice, you should be alright, alright?"

Nobody answered, it was obvious this Instructor was well experienced on the ice and expected them to be as well.

"You will be split into two teams, whichever team wins is better, and that's that. Now, listen for your number."

Chet ended up on Team 1, while Oliver ended up on Team 2.

"Now, it is very important to remember, always wear a cup," the Instructor said, "at all times you must wear it, and never take it off. Those pucks can get up to 110 miles per hour, and you do not want to get hit by one of those babies without one of these on." The Instructor took out a box, "Now, pass it around, and make sure everyone gets one. Once you get your cup, you may take it into the bathroom and change."

Chet looked miserable. Obviously he knew what it was like to play a sport without a cup.

But that wouldn't happen to me, right? Oliver thought, not for the first time.

As the Instructor continued to explain the sport to all the students who didn't know, the box got passed around and everyone took their own cups.

When it got to the back, Oliver grabbed the box and looked inside.

There was only one cup left.

Oliver looked over at the girl next to him, it was Sammy, the only student with a last name after him, the girl he'd seen who'd been trying not to laugh when Chet had been hit by the baseball, sitting there uncertainly.

"You need it more than I do," she said, nudging it over, shifting her feet. She paused. "It's just the thought of getting hit by one of those pucks..." She shivered.

He needed it more... That she should say that, what she must think about him to even know that that was true, Oliver felt his face going red. How could that be true about him? He could feel the embarrassment.

Oliver hesitated and looked down at the cup, felt his embarrassment, saw her anxiety. Then he nudged it back over to her.

"Here, you can take it," he said.

Sammy looked at him, "You sure?" She clearly didn't want to take it from him in case he needed it, but she didn't want to go out there without one on either.

Oliver shrugged, "I'll be fine," he tried to assure himself as much as her.

Uncertainly, she took it. "Thank you," she said before rushing to the girl's room to change. Right before ducking in, she glanced back at him and gave him a friendly smile, and Oliver couldn't help but blush. Then she disappeared inside.

As Oliver watched her go with his only protection, he couldn't help but feel a sense of uncertainty rush through him. He wasn't going to need it right, he was too modest for a thing like that to happen to him, right?

When Oliver got out onto the ice, he found a bunch of students slipping on their skates, trying to get a feel for their feet. Because he was familiar with Ice Skating, he had no problem, and it seemed Sammy wasn't having trouble on the ice either, though she seemed a little nervous holding the stick of hers.

He skated up to her, remembering they had been put on the same team, and adjusted his stick in his hands. Wow, this thing did feel weird, he wasn't used to having something big and clunky in his paws when he skated.

"You ready," Sammy asked nervously, and Oliver couldn't help but blush. Why was he doing that lately, he didn't even remember talking to her much before.

"Yeah," he said, "you ready?"

"I hope so," she replied, wiping fur out of her eyes, "I've just never played hockey before, do you think those pucks are as fast as they say?"

Oliver could only shrug, he kind of hoped not, but what could he say?

"Okay everyone, get in your places!" The Instructor called.

"Let's do this," Sammy said.

And so the game began.

Oliver knew a little about hockey, but as he played alongside his team, he couldn't help but marvel at Sammy; for never playing this game before, she was a natural!

Sammy knocked the puck over to him, he knocked it back, away from Chet, and she got it perfectly; he couldn't believe how in sync the two of them were. Turns out they must both be naturals!

Sammy scored a point, then Oliver; with the two of them, their team was unstoppable.

As they prepared for the next play, Sammy pulled up besides Oliver.

"This is fun!" She said.

Oliver nodded; he was feeling great on the ice.

But suddenly, he got a sudden fluttering in his stomach, as if his very being was foreshadowing something very bad about to happen; for a second, he felt a sudden urge to escape his body, as if occupying it for more than another minute was a bad idea.

He shook his head, of course that was nonsense, maybe those butterflies were just telling him that him and Sammy were about to steal this game.

And so the play began.

It was going perfect...

Until it happened.

"Oliver, here!" Sammy cried.

As she swung her stick, hitting the puck square on, Oliver suddenly filled with dread. He saw the trajectory, noticed its momentum before he could do anything about it.

CRACK! He heard the hockey puck hit the wall before he felt anything, his body was already folding in on itself.

Oliver stumbled on his feet, knowing but refusing to accept. He would not be in pain, he would not-

Nausea began to rise within him as the realization hit him as the pain began to make itself known in his body during the only split second he had to process everything: Oh man, this was him! It could've been somebody else, but it wasn't; this was him all the way.

Then the pain hit full force, an unimaginable raw fire raging in his weakest spot and rising all up into his body.

He collapsed to his knees, howling in absolute agony, unable to hold it back; he wanted to imagine this pain was happening to somebody else, that he was just imagining this pain and he wasn't actually experiencing it - just like he had done before when it had happened to someone else - but every nerve within his poor sensitive area was screaming that this was all too real.

He wanted to shriek, he wanted to scream, all of his body wanted to die as he folded into this fetal position! He couldn't imagine thinking of this much pain, and now he was actually feeling it.

"My n**s!" He cried, putting words to the most shameful part of himself like he'd hoped he never would. It was too shameful, but he couldn't help it. Out of all the boys who could've been hit, it had to be him, and now he was the boy everyone would always remember as getting hit in the n**s with a hockey puck!

He writhed on his knees, all his classmates staring at him too stunned to know what to do. To them his cries for mercy must seem comedic, they didn't even come close to expressing the misery he was in; how could they when his misery was this excruciatingly painful?

Oh man, Sammy too, and all the girls, were surely watching him too, hearing him cry out such shameful words about himself! He was the otter who felt ashamed even admitting needing to use the restroom, how could he be...

The pain, the shame, he just curled up in himself on the ice pitifully, trying to hold back his whimpering.

"Take a timeout," said the instructor.

As the other students moved past, Sammy took out her cup and dropped it gently down beside him, "I'm sorry," she was blushing bad, "I know it doesn't do anything to help now, but you really did need it more than I did."

Then, look of guilt on her face, trying to bury her own amusement, she skated from the rink.

Left alone on the ice, Oliver was left with only his embarrassment and pain.

Oliver sat in the lobby, wincing still from the hit, but able to sit up mostly now. The other students were back in the rink, continuing their game, while Oliver was just sitting here waiting for the bus to take them back to school. He just wanted to sit there looking down at his feet, and be embarrassed by himself.

He heard the door to the skating area open, and he looked up to see Chet step out. He had a slight limp, but otherwise, he seemed mostly fine.

"I just slipped on the ice and strained my leg," he said, "Coach said to sit down a little bit and take some pressure off it."

Oliver nodded, and Chet came over to sit down next to him.

And they sat back down in silence.

They both knew that a strained leg felt nothing like a bad hit with sports equipment. Though now they both could finally understand what the other had been through, talking about it was the last thing Oliver wanted to do, and Chet seemed to understand. Maybe it was best just to say nothing and let it fade to the past.

Eventually, they heard cheering inside the skating rink, and a moment later, a bunch of the students came pouring out full of enthusiasm.

"We WON!" Sammy cried, leaping up to Oliver excitedly, "Well, I mean, you weren't in there, but our team won, so hurray for us!" She looked at Oliver, face filling with sudden sympathy, "You're okay now, right? Your um... place."

Oliver's face flushed, "So you uh, know... about..." He tried, but couldn't finish, he wanted to curl into himself and never show his face again.

Sammy nodded, obviously as embarrassed as him, "Yeah. So it is true about you boys?"

Oliver only leaned forward and moaned in his embarrassment.

Sammy just stood there a moment as if not sure what to say.

Finally, "Well, I'll see you in the bus then. Good game."

And then she took off, leaving Oliver sitting there, still sore, in his humiliation.

Oliver returned home, wearily dropping his bag on the couch.

"How was your day?" His Mom asked.

Oliver sighed, "It was a day," he said. He couldn't bring himself to tell her of the shame he had definitely broughten upon her own offspring.

"Well, clean up and get ready for dinner," his mother said, "Pizza tonight!"

Oliver went to his room to unpack, and then he went to the bathroom for a bath. Baths were always embarrassing, but nothing felt more embarrassing than today.

When he was done, he made his way to the table where the pizza was already waiting. His sisters rushed up to him and started jumping up and down at his feet.

"Is it true you got to play hockey today!?"

"Was it fun!?"

"Yeah yeah," Oliver said, just trying to get to his seat.

"We painted pretty pictures in class," one of his sisters said once they were all seated.

Oliver brightened up, glad for the chance to change subject, "What of?" He asked.

"Oh, just butterflies and rainbows," the other sister said shyly.

"Oh, I'd love to see that," Mom said enthusiastically.

So they enjoyed a nice dinner of pizza, for just a bit it helped Oliver get his mind off things.

But after dinner, as he sat on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune with his Mom, he couldn't help but finally break the ice.

"Mom?" He said, "Remember that thing that happened in Shrek?"

She looked at him, a little unimpressed, "Yeah, that was an interesting movie."

Oliver shifted, "I mean, what if something like that happened in real life, like at school?"

Oliver's Mom's face softened, "Well, that must have been very uncomfortable to witness," she said.

Oliver looked away, too ashamed to mention that he wasn't referring to a classmate, but to himself.

"What would you say to him?" Oliver asked, shifting self-consciously.

Oliver's Mom thought a moment, "Well, he must really feel disgraced with himself if I'm being honest," she answered finally, "But if it was an accident, you can't really blame him. But I can't imagine the shame he must be feeling for exposing such a part of himself so indecently in a public place like that." She shook her head, "Try not to make much of it, it's better to just let it pass, alright."

"Alright," he said, though he didn't know if he really felt any better. He yawned, "Well, I'm going to go to my room now, I'll see you later."

His Mom watched him go a moment before turning back to the TV, and Oliver made his way to his room and closed the door behind him.

He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to see himself for who he was. Was he really the boy who had dropped to the ice rink floor like that? Was that who he had always been all along?

Looking, he didn't feel so much ashamed that he had been hit there as he felt ashamed that that place could exist for him to be hit in in the first place; that now everyone in his class had no way of not knowing it now as well.

Everyone in his class including Sammy.

Despite himself, he couldn't hold back a gasp of amusement before he covered his mouth to stiffle it. Why did he find this funny? He'd done a shameful thing.

But looking at himself again in the mirror, he realized, he didn't feel guilty, he never really had - he felt absolutely disgraced with himself and the shame he had presented on his body - but you know what, he wasn't a bad otter.

Also, he remembered how funny he'd found it when it happened to others - as much as he was ashamed to admit, he thought, thinking of Chet - of course others should find it funny when it happened to him, he realized, his face flushing violently. Even the girls.

Not that he was laughing, but the thought that others could laugh made it all the more funny that these kinds of things could happen to males anywhere. He suddenly realized it wouldn't be so funny if it could happen to girls as well, and the fact that it could happen to any boy made it funny to know that girls could see it. And for all the embarrassment in the world, it just so happened that he was one of those boys; if it hadn't been that he didn't have a chance to be part of the unluckier half of the population, then the humor that a thing like that could happen would have no point.

He would always be too embarrassed to ever find any humor in what happened to him, he wanted to crawl under his blankets and hide his face from the world forever, but he knew that his ability to face this embarrassment was a necessary cost to preserve the humor of the situation for all time. His Mom had always seen that this sort of thing was something to be ashamed of, but what she had failed to realize is that shame is part of what made it funny, that at any male could at any time be shamed in only a way that boys could, and girls could be around, and they could know the same could never happen to them, of course you'd feel shame with your own weakness, and the more shameful it was, the more funny it was for everyone else.

Except Oliver wasn't everyone else, he'd been that otter who'd been hit, he'd been that otter who'd been shamed.

And at that thought, Oliver gave a wail of embarrassment, and collapsed to the floor, clutching himself where he was most ashamed as if he was reliving the pain of the moment, and just lay there in his embarrassment for a very long time.

Fortunately, his Mom didn't come in to check on him, just sat there on the couch, watching Wheel of Fortune, blissfully unaware of the shame her son had brought upon his most unmentionable place forever.

Another day at school, and things felt like they were beginning to return to normal. Chet and Oliver were able to talk to eachother regularly again like old times, though neither of them ever mentioned their accidents.

But even though he never mentioned it, Oliver knew he'd never forget it. So much had happened to him since this all started, and as he thought back to that one day at the mall not so long ago, he could hardly believe it was the same him. How he could go from that unaware kid at GameStop to that boy writhing on the ice rink in pain in just a matter of days, perhaps that was what was funny about life, you could live your life normally, like you had nothing to be embarrassed about, but those embarrassing truths about you were still there, waiting to be hit and brought out for all to see at a later time. Oliver would go back to his normal life and thoughts, but he'd also forever after this know in the back of his mind what could happen to him.

On their way to P.E. once again, Sammy met him in the front of the gym.

"Here, I got this for you," she said, holding out a cup for him, brushing some fur from her eyes shyly. Ever since the day at the rink, she had always been sure to save a cup for him, making sure he was the first to receive one.

"Take care of yourself... down there. Okay?" she blushed, shifting on her toes in small shyish curtsy.

Oliver took the cup gratefully, blushing back.

He liked Sammy, he didn't know why, he just liked her. Maybe they could be friends.

As they moved out onto the basketball court, they began their game. For the first time since his accident, he felt he could maybe except himself, of course he would always be embarrassed, and maybe ashamed at the memory of what had happened to him, but he didn't need to be embarrassed about now.

Unfortunately, by the end of the game, one other unfortunate boy would be subjected to the same feelings that Oliver had just gone through, he had seen it happen to the other classmates before, of course, but that only happened to unlucky students, it wasn't like it was going to happen to him.

Unfortunately, life always has to find someone to be unlucky.

That, however, is a tale for another story.

Chapter Text

Leviath sat at the table at the Grand Winglin Palace Restaurant glancing out at the waiters milling about and customers chattering to and with eachother. Date night with Cindy had always been a pleasant experience in the past, but lately, things had become… complicated between them.

As he sat there waiting for Cindy to arrive at the table so they could order their food, he couldn’t help but notice, Cindy sure was taking awhile in that bathroom, and Leviath could only guess what she was doing in there.

Probably standing in front of the mirror and admiring herself again, Leviath figured - not that he was surprised, she tended to be fascinated with… certain aspects of herself, and she always found time to admire those certain aspects of her ladyhood quite frequently, even when the timing certainly did not call for it. Not that he blamed her, she had some nice aspects of herself down there, and he could appreciate a lady who liked her lady-self like she did. Besides, at least when she was busy appreciating herself, it helped spare him from some of the… uncomfortable situations that had arisen from her “appreciating” him.

Not likely, he grumbled to himself, once she starts on herself, she’ll start getting on about how we contrast eachother, and what better way to contrast us than by throwing pain at the place she didn’t-

Leviath snorted irritation. What a memory.

It had been a few months since the flame pain and freeze pain incidents, and Cindy’s stomach was growing ever bigger with her egg. Leviath still couldn’t comprehend that that kind of sheer agony had happened to him, leaving him screaming and writhing on the floor like it had. He shifted his legs, imagining the pureness of the pain all over, but still unable to believe it; he knew how it had felt, could image the acute searingness of it all with undeniable accuracy, but somehow, something in his mind had blocked him from being able to process it as if it had actually been a real incident, that it had not just been some horrific imagined memory he’d cooked up in his most demented fever dreams.

Not a good memory.

 When Cindy finally arrived at the table she had that amused smirk on her face, confirming Leviath’s suspicions as to why she’d been gone so long. She gave him a sly look, and he looked at her unimpressed - though he was totally impressed, she did have a body to be proud of. He nodded at her with a grunt of greeting as she sat down across from him. There was a moment of awkward silence, then…

“Had a good time in there?” he asked.

“Phenomenal,” Cindy replied.

Of course.

Nothing more to say, Cindy picked up her menu, and Leviath continued to look at his. Silence filled their table.

After a moment, Leviath glanced up at Cindy, and she glanced back at him, before, wordlessly, they both turned back to their menus, both of them wanting to break the ice, but neither sure of what to say.

“Anything looking good?” Leviath asked finally.

“Well, I’m really liking the look of this Viridian Snapper,” Cindy replied.

“Yeah, hmm,” Leviath said, checking that item on his own menu, it looked fine, but not his thing.

More silence.

Leviath looked at Cindy, and despite everything that had happened lately, he thought that she still was so pretty tonight. Noticing him watching her, she glanced back, giving him that sly look she always gave, letting him know she found him very attractive too. At least it was something.

Then abruptly, her talon slipped, she fumbled for the menu, but it fell out of her talons and onto the floor under the table.

“Let me get that,” Cindy replied, bending over and ducking beneath the table.

Leviath heard Cindy shuffling around a few seconds, sounded like she found it, then silence. She gave a sudden snicker.

“Cindy,” he asked, shifting his legs awkwardly; he had a pretty fair idea what had amused Cindy in that way down there, and he was pretty sure it had to do with him.

Silence.

“Cindy.”

Finally, Cindy pulled out from under the table, and straighted up in her seat, the amused expression on her face, mixed with a sense of physical admiration, confirmed everything.

“Yes, sweetheart,” she replied innocently.

Leviath just gave a grunt and went back to his menu. Cindy did the same.

After a moment, he lowered the menu once again and looked at her. She really was so pretty tonight, and seeing her this way just filled him with a melancholy sense of longing.

Leviath sighed. Ever since that incident with the flame pain and… that other one, an awkward silence had grown between them. He was glad to spend this time with her, but he didn’t know what to say, there had been this ice between them (the second incident quite literally being a block of ice not to forget to add, he remembered painfully), and he wasn’t sure how to break it. He admired her so much, he really did, but the fact that she could put him through so much pain like that and just be fine with it…

But then he looked at her, and his heart softened, he didn't feel angry really, he realized, not even betrayed. He liked her personality the way it was, her sense of humor, the things that she found amusing, all of it was part of what made her so attractive, without it she would lose a large part of who she was. How could he want that?

So he fell back into silence, once again at a loss at how to fill this rift that had grown between them.

But he had to talk to her, just because he liked that she liked that didn’t mean he wanted her to think it was okay. He didn’t want her to change, but he also didn’t like pain, and if he couldn’t trust her in their relationship, then how could they be the best for eachother that they could be?

They needed to talk.

So, Leviath took a deep breath and started.

“Listen Cindy, we need to talk.”

Cindy looked at him for a moment, and then the amusement from earlier faded from her eyes. Finally she looked down. “I know.” She took a deep breath, “Where do we start?”

“Let’s just get straight to the point,” Leviath said.

Cindy nodded.

“Cindy, I know you like how I’m…” he cleared his throat - a strong dignified dragon doesn’t like to admit it, but he couldn’t avoid admitting it - “sensitive down there- I like how you like that I’m sensitive down there…” He paused, “I just don’t like being sensitive down there myself.”

He shifted.

Cindy shifted in her spot as well, looking away, beginning to feel a bit guilty.

“Not like you have much choice.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I know.”

Silence.

“Your order please?”

Cindy and Leviath looked up to see their waiter standing beside their table, pen and pad in talon. Cindy and Leviath looked at one another.

“Yes,” Cindy said, turning her attention to the order, “I’ll have a large Viridian Snapper please, grilled, with a side of… Fried lizard tails and - what are those? Those Nine-Island Cucumbers?”

The waiter nodded confirmation.

“Okay, that. And give me a Bloody Scarlet as well,” Cindy finished.

The waiter jotted it down and turned to Leviath. Leviath looked again at his menu.

“I think I’ll go with one of them roasted half-cows,” Leviath said, “Medium rare. And I’ll also take some of those fried lizard tails, with… Just give me one of them baked potatoes, with chives and cheese and all that good stuff. And you know what, I’ll also take a nice cold tequila, don’t forget the lime.” Yeah, he deserved something for himself.

“Very good sir,” replied the waiter dragon, jotting it down, before leaving the two of them again to eachother’s company.

In the silence, Cindy again turned her gaze from Leviath.

“It’s not that I like to see you in pain, it’s just…” Cindy struggled for the right words, then gave up, “Okay, I like to see you in pain,” she said, trying to suppress a chuckle, “But it’s not like that, you’re so unique and handsome, and the fact that you can experience something that I can’t… I just have to give it to you, you know.”

Leviath flinched, thinking about how it felt being “given it.”

But somehow something about Cindy’s words still fascinated Leviath, he wanted to hear more. He looked at her closely.

Cindy continued, “Every aspect of our lives, I can put myself in your talons, imagine what you’re feeling, but this one thing, I can’t. It’s so foreign to me that I can’t help but admire that,” she was giving him those eyes again, “and I just have to make you feel it, you know, so I can make you know how much I admire you down there.” She fluttered her eyes, “Perhaps you’ll even feel as much admiration for my ‘down there’, knowing why I could never feel the same.”

Leviath sighed. He couldn’t deny it, he did admire Cindy… in certain ways, and the flame pain incidents only served to remind him of how unique she was from him “down there”. The fact she wanted him to admire her as much as she admired him, Leviath couldn’t hide the fact that that was certainly very hot.

But Leviath wondered if maybe her obsession with… their differences was too much, regardless of how much it helped make her attractive. He couldn’t deny there were times lately where she’d taken it too far.

“But it hurts!” Leviath cried.

Cindy suppressed a laugh, “I’m not going deny, seeing you roll around like that, screaming your head off, it was the funniest thing I have ever seen,” But then she looked deeper into his eyes and a feeling of sympathy came over her; this was her husband, and she wanted the best for him. She knew on some level her antics had caused him pain, but not being able to understand what it had felt like herself, it couldn’t hurt hurt, could it. To her the pain had always been a comical pain, it hadn’t been real , but that’s not how Leviath had really experienced it, was it? The pain had probably been so real and excruciating, if she had actually been him, she would’ve wished she had been dead.

And that hit her even harder than it had before. In an instant, she had burst out into hysteric, uncontrollable laughter; she stumbled out of her chair and onto the floor on all fours, using one of them to hold her stomach. Guests all over the restaurant turned to look at the spectacle.

The woman is a complete psychopath!

“I’m sorry,” Cindy struggled, “I know it’s not fair to you, but I just can’t help it.” She snorted and held up her talons for the watching dragons to return to their seats. Taking in deep breaths, she tried to regain her voice, “But if you don’t want it anymore, I know I have to… at least I still got the memories.” Then she burst into hysterics all over again.

Leviath flinched. He hated the memory of being in pain like that, so why was hearing her laughter over it so attractive?

Because it’s from her perspective, not mine, Leviath realized. To her he was an attractive guy in the most amusing situation imaginable, screaming his head off about a ridiculous scenario happening to the most personal aspect of his male self. And he liked it when she looked at him that way, he liked it when she found admiration for his personal self. 

But that doesn’t make it right.

When Cindy finally recovered, she returned to her seat and looked at Leviath calmly, “But you’re right,” she said, “No more flame pain, or freeze pain, or whatever pain again. I’m sorry.”

Then the two of them fell silent.

Their server brought in their meals (obviously not too thrilled to be serving the “crazy table” tonight), they thanked him, and as they started eating, Leviath finally broke the silence.

“Here’s the deal,” he said.

Cindy looked up, mid bite into her snapper, and swallowed.

“Flame pain,” Leviath continued, “Five minutes, I don’t want to be down there a second longer.”

Cindy looked at him in surprise, “Wait, you’re really saying this?”

Leviath said nothing, just looked at her evenly.

“Okay, then ten,” Cindy bargained, picking up the rhythm of the thing.

Leviath grumbled, silently agreeing to Cindy’s request.

“My favorite song is 5 minutes,” Cindy continued, “if you imagine that you’ll only be burning there as long as it takes to listen to your favorite track, it’ll make it too bearable, it has to last long enough that you lose track of time, and even another second is too much to endure, for it to have maximum impact…” Cindy noticed Leviath’s expression and backed up a bit, “Okay, too far, sorry-”

“Ten.”

Cindy looked at Leviath, but he said nothing more. But what in tarnation was he agreeing to?!

After a moment of silence, Leviath pushed forward, “And I don’t want it to happen more than once a…” Leviath hesitated, he really didn’t know how frequently he could stand it, obviously he couldn’t stand it at all, but that was kind of the point, wasn’t it? “A month,” he said finally. ”And most certainly not on work nights.”

“No work nights,” Cindy agreed.

“Then it’s settled,” Leviath said, “Now I don’t want to hear any more about it.”

Then Leviath turned away and went back to his Half-Cow.

As they ate, Leviath glanced back up at Cindy once more to notice her smiling at him sweetly. His face relaxed, and he gave her a kind nod in return.

“You know,” Cindy said, “once you’re done down there, whenever you recover, I’ll even lay in your favorite position for you,” she added.

This caught Leviath’s attention, “On your back, legs slightly apart?” he asked.

“Just the way you like it.”

Leviath grunted consolidation.

So, the two of them settled back into their dinner, and though they were both lost within their own thoughts, the ice between them seemed to have finally broken.

As Leviath watched his wife eat, admiration for her softened his heart, she really was quite a woman - maybe a bit wild - but she sure was quite the experience to have in his life, he really did love her.

She looked at him back, and he could see in her gaze the same look of loving admiration for him that he had for her. Their relationship was complicated, the two of them, but he knew ultimately, they would work things out.

About a week later…

Leviath lay there deep in his sleep in their cavern, as peaceful as he could be, breathing in, breathing out, deep refreshing unconscious air, when-

He felt the ignition of heat, a sharp explosion of pain in the most sensitive part of himself that his body wasn’t prepared to take. His eyes jerked open, his body already flailing; right there in the opening of his back legs, flaring bright as daylight…

“FIRE!” He roared, “IT’S BURNING! IT BURNS! MY SENSITIVE PLACE! MY B***S***!!!”

And Cindy just burst into laughter - she couldn’t help it, his wild squirming was just too funny.

“MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!” He cried. The flaring pain was too much, he couldn’t take it another second!

“Sorry,” Cindy said, “Centrum Oil sweetheart, it will continue to burn for exactly ten minutes, not a moment more, not a moment less, so I suggest you settle in with your pain, and embrace your helplessness.”

Leviath jerked his head back and roared sheer agony, writhing helplessly on the floor, his body no way it could bear another moment of this, but all he could do was unable to stop it.

TEN MINUTES! His mind howled, unable to comprehend that unspeakable horror.

And ten minutes it would be, no amount of helplessness, or writhing, or begging for mercy would stop that, for this was Centrum Oil, and Centrum Oil could not be changed.

And Cindy just laughed, pure amusement over the man she admired most.

What a PSYCHOPATH!

So why did Leviath find that so hot?

Not as hot as the flame in his most sensitive place though, and for that, he could only scream.

She was totally going to owe him that pose after this.

What? I said they’d work things out, I didn’t mean they’d actually be perfect. Maybe you need to see a marriage counselor.

Chapter Text

The late afternoon Sun shone golden across the valley as the two cattle made their way peacefully through the ranges of the Rocky Mountains.

In the days since they had fled that farm that had completely misunderstood the dictionary definition of "oyster" entirely, Seymore had enjoyed transversing through this peaceful mountain scenery with his babe Bella.

"How'd you know it'd do it like that?" Seymore asked suddenly, referring to the... interesting kicking incident that had happened before they'd left, "Is it something you just see and go like, 'Wow, that's gotta be a place that hurts'?"

"It's just something a cow knows," Bella said simply, "Male cattle are... you know, and us lady cows are..." She came to a stop and looked at him. "You really know nothing about any of that?"

Seymore shook his head. He knew he wasn't the smartest cattle around - Bella had no qualms telling him as much - but he felt he was missing something.

Bella just sighed, continuing on.

"How do you suppose you lady cows work?" Seymore piped up again, trotting around her and suddenly peaking under her, pulling her to an irritable stop. "Like milk. How do you suppose milk works? Do you think there's some sort of special method to it, or...?" Curiously, he tapped her special milking place with a hoof, causing Bella a jolt. She whacked his hoof away with her own and looked down at him displeasingly. He gave her an apologetic glance.

Then, "You don't suppose that's also how you pee do you?"

Bella gave out a frustrated sigh, "No, that is not how we pee." She lifted her leg a little, revealing what was behind where he was looking, "Clear things up for you sweetheart?"

"Oh..." Seymore said; he raised his head, "That makes sense."

"I'd hope so," Bella replied.

...

"You know, you are quite pretty," Seymore said.

"I'm sure," Bella answered, unimpressed.

They continued on a bit more, but after a short bit, Bella had to pull to a stop. She hadn't been milked for a few days, and the weight was beginning to become more and more apparent, something she had noticed when Seymore had... tapped her. Noticing Bella no longer at his side, Seymore turned back and looked at her.

"You okay babe?"

"Yeah, just haven't been milked in awhile."

Seymore looked at her. That sounded like something that could be disastrous if left unchecked.

"Why?" was all he could think to ask.

Bella just looked at him. Was he really that-

"Listen, I'm going to need to find someone to milk me," she replied patiently, "It's not healthy for a cow to go this long without."

Seymore looked around the valley, but finding nobody else around to answer the call, he came to the stunning conclusion...

"Do you think I can do it?"

Bella sighed. Well, at least he was asking this time. "Come over and see what you can do."

Seymore trotted over to her and looked under, "You know, it's been awhile since I've dealt with one of these, don't know if it'd taste good anymore actually, so I'm going to try another method."

He looked at his hoofs and measured them against Bella. Didn't look like that'd work. Trying to find a right positioning, he tapped her a few times, giving Bella an uncomfortable jolt.

"Could you try to be just a little bit more sensitive down there?" She asked in frustration. The fact that she even put up with him was beyond her.

"Sorry," Seymore said.

He realized finally there was no way he was going to position his hoofs just right to get the milking done well.

Then he had an idea, "Hey, maybe if I kicked you like you kicked me, the milk will just..." He didn't have the words to finish his thought, but somehow he just knew it'd work.

Bella's eyes went wide, "Wait, no-"

But it was too late, Seymore had already lifted a hoof, and drove it right into Bella's milk... place.

Bella gave a strangling groan as her body jolted to the side.

Seymore looked at her surprised, "That didn't work?"

"NO!" Bella shouted, "You stupid bull! You know absolutely nothing! How you even manage to survive out here is beyond me! And to think I gave up my life on the farm...?"

Seymore's face fell.

"You don't think it's beautiful out here?"

Bella looked at him and the darkening mountain sky behind him, and her face softened, "No, it's not that..."

"It's just me," Seymore said. Deflated, he walked away and sat down a few yards away, back turned.

Bella felt a little bad. Well, of course some of his behavior was a bit uncalled for, but she'd kicked him in worse places.

Ignoring the heaviness of the milk underneath her, she stepped up next to him and sat down beside him, glad for a opportunity to rest her sore utters. The Sun had sunk below the mountains, and stars were beginning to appear in the sky in whatever sunlight was left.

"Listen, you are a doofus, I'm not going to deny that..." Bella sighed, "But through it all, I believe you mean well. You just... Need to learn some boundaries. A lot of boundaries. A lot lot of boundaries."

Seymore just looked at her, not sure he was getting the gist of what she was trying to say.

"But that's beside the point," Bella continued again, "I came out here because I wanted to be with you. Perhaps it was my bad judgment, but... I wanted to be out here with you."

They sat in silence another long moment.

"So, what about the milk?" Seymore asked.

"Well, I suppose we could have babies, but that won't happen fast enough."

Silence.

"We could find someone to drink it."

Seymore looked over at her, not sure if she was joking, "Not really my thing," he said.

"Not you, you doofus," Bella said.

Seymore flinched, looking away.

"Sorry," Bella said finally, it wasn't nice, calling him a doofus. Even if it was kind of true.

"So we should adopt?" Seymore asked finally.

"Yeah, adopt just so we can have someone to drink my milk, I'm sure that'll go over well," Bella retorted.

They sat there thinking awhile longer.

Finally, Bella got her hoofs under her, making an effort to ignore the weight of milk building up inside her, still a little sore from that kick. "I suppose there's not much that can be done about it now, let's go."

Seymore stood up after her, and again the two of them were walking under the moonlit sky.

"You gotta admit, it was a good idea," Seymore said finally.

"What? You thought a kick would create the right kind of pressure to... I don't know, milk me all by itself?" She allowed herself a laugh, "Did that work when I did it to you?"

"I nearly wet myself," Seymore admitted.

"That's not the same thing!" Bella laughed.

"I wouldn't know the difference between wetting myself and milking myself," Seymore mumbled.

"Of course you wouldn't," Bella replied sweetly. It's not like a bull had ever had to deal with not being milked before.

"Perhaps we should go back," Seymore said finally, "You shouldn't be out here."

Bella turned to look at him, "No. You know we can't do that."

"You can," Seymore said, bowing his head. "Does it really matter what happens to me? I mean, this talk of Rocky Mountain Oysters? What does one even need them for. Like, what function do they even serve?"

Bella turned to look at him, flabbergasted, "What function do they serve? They serve a lot of functions! How do you literally know nothing?!"

"How do you know everything?! It's not even your bodi-"

Before he could finish that last word, Bella spun around and drove a hoof straight into his... 4-and-a-half-star menu items.

Seymore's eyes went wide, and instantly he dropped.

"Ow! Ow! OWWW!" He howled in desperation; He rolled around moaning, trying to writhe himself into the ground to ease the pain, but nothing could be done to stop this malfunctioning of his body. How does a woman DO that!?

"Do you know why that hurts so much?" Bella cried, exasperated, "Because it's important. It hurts because your body is trying to tell you to protect what's important!"

"If pain equals importance, I don't see how anything could be this important," Seymore moaned.

"Children Seymore, I want children!"

Seymore stopped his writhing, but only a moment, because the pain was too much, then he went back to moaning once more.

Bella took a deep calming breath, and sat down beside her wounded partner, she realized once again she could've used a softer kick, but that wasn't really her thing, "I still don't understand how you don't know any of this," she said.

"I don't understand how you do," Seymore moaned, rolling himself into the best position he possibly could.

Bella and Seymore remained there a long while longer, 'til Seymore's moaning began to quiet down, fortunately Bella felt a bit calmer now, she had really needed that. As the sounds of the night began to once again take its place, Bella began to notice a sound that was ringing off in the distance.

"Wait here," she said, standing up and wincing at the heavy weight within her. She ignored it and moved on. Seymore, finally managing his feet and made it after her. How could he still feel it?

As they neared the sound, it became apparent as frightened mewing sort of thing. Bella stopped beside a large tumble of fallen branches and looked under.

"Hello there, are you alright?"

Looking through the tangled bark, she could make out the trembling form of a frightened cougar cub.

"Is your mother around?" Bella asked again, the cougar cub just slunk further back into the branches. She knew she should be being cautious around such a creature, but perhaps every cow has a little bit of motherly instinct there inside of them.

"I'd hope her mother isn't around to be honest," Seymore said. He may not be the brightest bull, but somehow he figured meeting a fullgrown version of this thing in the dark of the night would not be the wisest thing to do.

"She ain't," the cougar cub mewed pathetically, "She dead!"

Seymore turned his head and noticed a tumble of fallen rocks nearby, the sad form of a fallen cougar laying beside it. The cougar cub began crying again.

Bella felt her heart softening, her own bodily problems now completely forgotten.

"Come out of there, it's alright, I got you."

The cub looked at her, then softly put forward a paw. Slowly, cautiously, she slunk out from under the tree. Bella lowered her head comfortingly, and the cub began to cry again, burring her head into fur of the comfort cow.

"I got you," Bella said again, using her hefty body to shield the cub from the sight of her fallen mother, "I won't let anything happen to you. Tell me anything you need and I'll get it for you."

"I'm kinda hungry," the cub said weakly.

Bella was about to respond, but before she could do anything, the cub slipped its way through her legs, and less than a moment later Bella gave a jump of surprise, as the cub began drinking of the milk from Bella's body. Then Bella looked at the poor thing affectionately.

"You take all the milk you need," Bella said gently.

Seymore's eyes lit up, "I told you, adoption."

Bella glared at him, "That was not the intent. And I still want some of our own."

"Can do," said Seymore smartly.

Then, "How do we do that again?"

Bella just rolled her eyes, "You'll figure it out."

But then she looked down at the cub, still drinking greedily, and new affection filled her heart.

"But for the time being," she continued, "this one is going to need a mother."

"And that could be us," Seymore replied enthusiastically. "Well, you at least. I wouldn't make a very good mother." ... "I could be the father! That'd be cool. As long as she doesn't eat us that is."

Bella suppressed a chuckle, "Good idea genius."

Seymore brightened at this compliment and Bella realized her "compliment" had probably missed its mark entirely.

Then Bella gave an unexpected start as the cub began to paw upward (not entirely clawless), struggling as it reached for her milk. She realized that perhaps the cub wasn't used to standing up and drinking like most other hoofed creatures, so she lowered herself to the ground and tried to imitate how a cougar mother might do it for her cub. She didn't appreciate how... that certain part slapped down in to the ground like it did, but for the fate of this abandoned cub, she would ignore. As the cub lay there drinking, she began to doze. Bella would just remain there as long as she needed.

But Seymore had one more thing to say, he bent his head down beside Bella and said quietly, "But considering the cougar activity in the area, I suppose we shouldn't linger here too long."

"Just as soon as I'm done feeding," Bella replied.

Chapter Text

"You're sure this will help me find my Soul Mate?" the female rhinoceros asked the porcupine witch doctor uncertainly.

"Just one drink of my homemade serum, and your very being will home in on the one with whom you are meant to be," the porcupine witch doctor confirmed, "it cannot change the connection that is already inside you, but it can help guide the way." She paused, then, "And as an added assurance, neither you nor your partner will suffer any permanent harm as a result of the serum's effects."

Zora looked at the purplish concoction in the makeshift stone bowl, and with the slightest hesitation, took a drink.

The fruit and flower mixture was really sweet, but once Zora was done drinking, nothing seemed to happen.

"What now?" Zora asked, fully ready to accept she'd just been scammed.

"Go on your way, and all will come to you soon," the porcupine said. "Or you will come upon it," She added with an amused smirk.

She was clearly up to something, but of what, Zora had no idea. She'd never heard of the porcupine witch doctor poisoning anyone, but whenever anyone mentioned her services, they always looked awkward like they were trying not to bring up some embarrassing secret.

She shrugged as she walked back toward the watering hole; it had been worth a shot. It's just she had always wanted to meet this nice guy who was out there somewhere, and they could make a life together. She always pictured a rhino who was caring, and friendly, and strong, and who had those perfect, amusing things they called...

She turned her thoughts. Yeah she knew that all males were supposed to have them, but it didn't do for a female like her to be thinking about that. She felt her face redden. That would be great though, wouldn't that, to meet a male who had...

She shook her head, she had spent so much of her time imagining what it'd be like to be with a male but never actually being close to one, she knew males were supposed to have those special unique... well, things, but a part of her couldn't bring herself to believe those unique male things actually existed.

She was blushing again, she had to shake it off. Besides, there were other things males had that were to be admired, but sometimes wondering about the existence of things she didn't know as a female... It was so distracting.

But, it wasn't going to happen anyway, the witch doctor had only done nonsense, so as far as her life was concerned, males might as well not even exist. At least not in certain ways she was thinking.

As she approached the watering hole, she noticed something about the pace of her walk, almost as if it was automatic. Of course that made sense, when you walk, you often don't pay attention to every single step, relying on rhythm and muscle memory. She wondered why she had never paid attention to the absentmindedness of the reflexive rhythm of walking before.

She picked up pace, she was getting thirsty, and the sooner she made it to the watering hole, the sooner she could get a drink.

But she didn't stop, the moment she made it to the watering hole, she just ran straight past it.

She looked at her feet, moving beneath her, picking up pace. She knew that the rhythm of movement was automatic, but that didn't mean she shouldn't be able to stop! But something was wrong, her feet had gotten themselves into some wicked pattern, and they couldn't break free, as if her legs had gained a mind of their own and were carrying her to who knows where where she could only ride along.

She broke out into the Savannah, bursting across the grasslands at full rampage pace, and she just kept going. The Savannah kept going. How far did these grasslands actually stretch!

She was going far, far beyond what she'd ever known, no change of scenery in sight, just a couple of trees here and there, and just grass, grass, and more grass as far as eye could see. Animals lived out here? Nothing to give any shape or texture to the world? She kind of felt bad for them.

But she felt more sorry for herself, as the Sun stretched its way across the sky, she felt herself begin to grow tired. Yet she wasn't stopping. Was this the porcupine's doing? Was this why she had been so amused?

Finally Zora was coming upon something, the land becoming more rocky, she found herself running through what looked to be a dry riverbed, rocks rising up on both sides. Then, up ahead, a pond, she could make out the shape of a rhino drinking from it, a male rhino.

She felt a panic rising within her, she knew exactly where she was heading, could detect it on the exact point of the horn on the edge of her snout (Was it just her, or was it shimmering). She tried to pull herself to a stop, but her feet just kept moving under her.

No, no!

She male rhino heard the approaching sound of thundering feet, raised his head to look back just in time to see the female rhino charging straight at him.

But it was too late, Zora crashed straight into him, her horn jamming itself straight through the already occupied opening in his back legs.

His eyes went wide with shock, and in a second, he dropped to to the riverbed floor. The light in Zora's horn shimmered with purple, as if to emphasize the strength of what she had just jammed into the weakest part of a male's body. 

"UGHHHH!" the male rhinoceros bellowed, "My n**s! Not my n**s***!"

As he writhed there in agony, Zora, who had finally come to a full stop, stood over him, clinching her legs together at his discomfort. She felt weird herself at this, but while it sounded nice to say she was feeling for his pain, she couldn't deny the fact that this was really actually kind of hot.

He was a strong rhino, but his face had a softness to it indicating kindness. Or at least as soft as it could be considering the excruiated grimace. But the fact was, he had them. Males actually had them! She'd always known they had them, but now... she knew knew! Which also put into perspective that she also had an entirely different set of "thems" that she was obscuring with her leg-flinch. She could hardly believe it, but here it was - regaurdless of what her previous life experiences had left her to expect - at least within whatever variation of the world she now occupied, it was all real, happening right in front of her; she felt her face flushing; the strangeness of anatomy existing right at her feet.

And oh, his n**s***, what a perfectly perfect name for it.

It was too much, despite her flinched legs, she accidentally wet herself as she burst into laughter.

The male rhino looked up at her, face flushing as he realized the female who had done this to him, a female with a different set of "thems" seeing him writhe in his male induced weakness. He flushed so much embarrassment he felt it alone could kill him if that blunt and pointy horn hadn't already just about did so. She'd just heard him call it his n**s***! What if she knew of those things?

"Why'd you do that?!" the tortured male cried.

"I'm sorry!" Zora apologized through laughter, "I met this porcupine witch doctor, and then I couldn't stop running... And I think you're meant to be my Soul Mate?"

He stopped writhing for a second, looking at her in surprise, still holding himself with one limb, trying to suppress the pain.

Then he could suppress it no longer. "Porcupine witch doctors are the worst!" he moaned, going back to his writhing.

"If it's any help, she did say neither of us would be permanently harmed by this," Zora assured him.

"Have you ever felt one of those horns?" he whimpered, "Permanent harm or not, they HURT!"

"Well, I think your kind of hot." Zora said.

The male rhinoceros flushed, "I get that alot. Or I wish I did." He flushed even more. He actually liked the complement.

Finally, he managed to pull himself back to his feet, but it did not happen for quite some time, then, he looked at Zora awkwardly.

"So, about that Soul Mate thing?"

"That's what the witch said," Zora replied.

He looked at her a moment, "I just got to do something..."

And then he charged off, disappearing into the distance.

Zora gave a sigh of disappointment. Perhaps that serum had led her to her Soul Mate, but it sure hadn't helped make a good first impression.

She was thirsty though, she might as well get a drink.

As she drunk, she detected something on the air, growing closer and closer. The hammering of feet, heavy feet. She could feel the vibration in the earth, almost upon her.

She didn't even have time to look behind her.

JAM!

Her eyes went wide with shock. She had heard of the word "tampon" before, but she had never expected to ever wear one.

She looked back, and there was the male rhino, standing there, a look of shock on his face almost as strong as hers, his horn located right where it had been.

He pulled his horn away, it glinting with purple in the late afternoon sun, and Zora dropped to her knees, clutching at herself and giving a painful moan.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was running in the other direction, but then... I couldn't stop myself."

Zora looked at him, managing a look.

"Well, I guess we're even," the male rhinoceros said.

Then, despite herself, Zora burst into laughter through the pain, the pain carrying the laughter like she couldn't have expected.

"Oh, it hurts! It hurts!" Zora laughed, "Oh my v****! This is so embarrassing!"

The male rhinoceros looked almost offended.

"I didn't get to laugh when that happened to me."

"Well, maybe female thems don't get hurt as bad as male thems!" She managed through giggles of pain. Besides, her "down there" had more room to accommodate the unexpected presence of a horn than his did, with the obvious obstacles located in his "down there", of course, he apparently hadn't been made for it.

He didn't know anything about this Soul Mate business, but he was flushing almost as much as if she could be.

"Wow, so it's true that you females actually have those? I mean I know you're supposed to, but I never could actually make myself believe it."

This only made her giggle harder.

"By the way, I wet myself again." She laughed, "That is how you males check, isn't it?"

She was right, he realized quickly, she was his Soul Mate. Theoretically.

What have I gotten myself into?

When she got to her feet again, she looked at him in the eyes.

"By the way, I'm Zora."

"I'm Zemo," he replied back.

Even our names sound sort of the same , she thought.

"Sorry again for what I did to you, but will you at least consider it?"

He shifted on his back feet, feeling awkward. "Well, I think I might kind of have a chance of liking you sometime," he admitted, "We can try it."

Zora felt her heart glow. It might finally be happening, she might have finally found her Soul Mate.

At a sacrifice to the comfort of the poor guy's unfortunate "thems" of course, perhaps that could've gone a bit better.

But hey, at least it was a start.

And once again, the Porcupine Witch Doctor could only watch from a distance, congratulating herself on another job well done.

Chapter Text

Everyone knows dragons are magnificent and noble creatures, beyond the fault of indignity in near everyway possible; their scales impervious to all forms of damage. While dragons are not immune to pain, their scales absorb practically all the force of impact, leaving them virtually unharmed, even if their nerves remain receptive of the sensation. Because of this, a dragon can never be wounded, only inconvenienced by the discomfort of pain, and because dragons have a high tolerance to pain, a dragon has only one true weak spot; "every worm has his weak spot", as the saying goes, and this is true, even for dragons.

For males that is. Female dragons are 100% invincible.

If the saying had been "Every worm has it's weak spot", that would not be true for female dragons at all.

The two competitors stood behind the curtains, looking at the dragons lining the bleachers, all hyped to see this match get started; they were going to have a full audience tonight.

"You up for this?" M'Lady asked her opponent, and also her best friend, from their sanctuary behind the curtains; she gave her Eastern Dragon frills a toss to keep them out of her face; with all the ornamenting and decorationing put on to give them the best presentation to give to the audience, sometimes it could prove disadvantageous to her fight in the actual heat of the battle.

Bring it on, she thought to herself; she had no doubt in her ability to win this tonight, and could use a bit of a challenge.

"Why are we doing this again?" Her opponent, Drago Breath, asked, "The result is pretty much set in stone as it is."

M'Lady turned to look at her friend, aware this was more of a rhetorical question more than anything, he was proud of his achievements in these games, and was just inviting her to play along.

"We give them the best show we can," she replied, "Show them your skills and talents, and how capable an opponent you are, show them you have what it takes to actually win this thing."

"So you can bring it all down when you deal the winning blow?"

"Of course," she said, giving him those eyes and a gentle blink; she swished her frills out of her eyes.

And what she said was true, he did have what it took to win this thing, if she had had a few more weak points and he had had... literally one less. But as it stood, regardless of how well he fought, he would never be able to land an effective blow to bring her down, and she only had to land one, he could be the strongest dragon in the world, and she could be the weakest, and it still could only ever end one way. Still, the battle was the experience, and he was going to show just how effective of a fighter he really was.

"Up next!" Called the announcer in his purple scales, full of energy, "Two former friends-turned-enemies, you know them, you love them, welcome M'Lady vs. her Ex-Fiancé, Drago Breath!"

She wasn't actually his Ex, they were just taking their time, but apparently for the sake of the performance, the announcer must've decided "Ex" added a bit more drama to the show. Western Dragons like him, and Eastern Dragons like her, often didn't get along, so it set a believable impression for the audience. Though Drago Breath liked to see it as more of a playful rivalry stage of their relationship more than anything hostile, and what better way to play off your rivalry than in a battle to bitter defeat in front of a cheering audience.

Drago Breath and M'Lady took their places opposite eachother in the ring, "So, what's with all the make-up and ornamenting!" Drago Breath jabbed for the audience.

"It's called modesty," M'Lady said, giving her skirts a swish, "You should try it."

It was true, other than a bit of gold and silver makeup under his eyes and along his body, highlighting his features, he was for the most part bare, not that dragons need not be, many of the dragons in the audience were dressed much the same way, and felt the weight of M'Lady's jab too.

"Guess you won't be needing modesty anyway," M'Lady continued, "Seeing as how you'll be going down holding your b***s at end of this battle anyway, while everyone's watching," she teased.

The audience gasped, to hear lady dragon publicly speak of males that way was unheard of; how did she even know about that?! Even Drago Breath flinched in self-consciousness hearing... certain features of himself being called out like that. Whenever he went down, he was always in too much pain to really care how other people looked at him; in the full state of awareness he was in now was the first time he was truly aware of how much he was putting himself on the spot, being out here fighting like this.

"In your dreams," he said instead. Of course he was just saying things, there was literally no other way this battle could possibly end.

"Of course in my dreams," M'Lady shot back, "I dream of it every night."

The crowd gasped again; Drago Breath took a step back, instinctively wanting to cross his legs at the self-consciousness he suddenly felt running through him. Did she really? He had never considered until now how much in the spotlight his b***s had always been. Every male and female in the bleachers, did everyone here... was that really what they knew him for? M'Lady knew him well enough, she could all but read his mind, "Yes, yes they do," she replied.

Well that was awkward.

"Enough talk, FIGHT!" Declared the announcer, dropping the flag.

In a moment, the two dragons were at one another, swirling around eachother and throwing out blows wherever they could.

Because dragons were impervious to damage, they had no reason to hold back; it was a fight til one opponent could fight no longer, and a battle where anything goes.

Drago Breath was bigger and bulkier as a western dragon than M'Lady was, which gave him the advantage of brute force; plus he was male, a factor to which his natural advantage of strength was often attributed, but don't underestimate the nimbleness of an Eastern Dragoness, who could slip in and out of places in a blink of an eye, landing blows before he could react.

But Drago Breath had known what to anticipate, he knew her enough to know where she would attack before she did so, so he made sure to ensure that all openings were left closed. Unfortunately, she also knew him well enough to know he knew where she'd be, resulting in a perfectly synchronized battle of attacks and counter-attacks where neither could gain an edge on the other.

It didn't matter, M'Lady decided, whether he fell now or fell later, he would fall all the same; all he was doing was delaying the inevitable, there was only one way this could end.

"Why don't you just surrender now?" She said as she dashed in for an attack, "You know there is no way you can win."

"Is that what you think?" He asked, nipping at her frills and swinging her around, "I think you underestimate the situation here."

M'Lady went colliding with the ring wall. Pulling herself up, she turned to face him, "Oh, I don't think so; I know exactly what's going on."

She made a dash for Drago Breath, but one of the frills of her skirt had snagged on the ring's wall, pulling her up short. She gave a tug.

RIP!

M'Lady's skirt was torn clean off.

M'Lady stood there shocked for a second, then immediately threw her talons down to cover herself. The crowd burst out laughing. Despite the fact that many in the audience had never worn anything as much as her, it was all a matter of perception; M'Lady always wore her external wear with pride, and had never been exposed like this publicly before; now everyone here was hoping to be seated in a spot they'd get a good view, and M'Lady knew the moment she unplaced her talons, the entire crowd would be ready to jump on it.

"Who's holding themselves down there in front of everyone now," Drago Breath jibed.

Well, that did it, M'Lady forgot all about her indignity and made a dash at Drago Breath. Fortunately, he was ready; using her frills and ornamenting against her, he was able to entangle her and throw her off every attack. While her frills were a part of her and couldn't be torn free, within minutes, every piece of her additional ornamenting had been ripped from her body, leaving the two of them completely bare except for their makeup, which had in its own turn become heavily smeared. The audience made sure to get in plenty of pictures.

Drago Breath and M'Lady stood facing off against eachother.

"Congratulations," M'Lady said, kicking aside a stray ornamentation that had wound up at her feet, "You have done well, but it won't be enough."

"I think the audience would beg to differ," Drago Breath said; he looked at the crowd, "What do you think, you think she's going to win this?"

"Boo!" Cried the audience.

"Let me hear you! Who's going to win the Grand Prize tonight!?"

"Drago Breath! Drago Breath!" The crowd cheered with an undertone of laughter.

"You may have won the crowd," M'Lady sneered playfully, "but you have not won the battle."

"Go for it then," Drago Breath said.

M'Lady dashed. Fortunately, Drago Breath had it under control, every attack, every blow, he used his weight and strength to counter. M'Lady was getting genuinely frustrated, if only these frills didn't keep getting in the way!

Drago Breath was certainly getting the edge, blow after blow landing, if this had been any other opponent, he would've had the battle out and in the bag right now, but because of her impervious scales, not a single blow left a single mark, her resilience was unmatchable. She managed to land a few blows on him as well, but it warded the same results, two near invincible forces going head-on-head against eachother, no way for either side to gain a real advantage.

Then M'Lady managed to trip him, and he want rolling onto his back; she threw herself at him...

He managed to raise a back leg just in time, kneeing her right between the back legs.

She stumbled backwards as he regained his four feet, then she stopped, looking at him, barely stunned.

"Oh no you didn't," she said.

And then she was at him again, faster than ever, using her nimble body to try to slip underneath him. His moves became frantic, trying to keep up with her fast pace, barely managing to deflect her every move now.

"Why do you keep fighting!" She cried, "You already know how this ends!"

But something inside him kept pushing back, a drive that told him the battle was not over until it was over, that he could withstand this onslaught and come out the winner!

But blow after blow did nothing, she just kept coming, unstoppable; he could not outstand her, he could only outlast her.

But she was just as determined to outlast as he was; there was only way to win this, and the only way for either to outlast the other was for one to outstand.

Fortunately, M'Lady didn't have to worry about outstanding, she had had that one in the bag before the battle had even begun, the question was, had Drago Breath?

Drago Breath was going to use her frills against her, she knew that by now, but she had "against her" to spare, now she was going to use that against him.

She charged, getting in reach. Drago Breath opened his jaws and bit down hard on M'Lady's cheek-frills, swinging her around. The frills strained, but did not tear. Drago Breath should've saw it in advance, but he didn't; as he swung M'Lady around, she threw her entire weight into the swing; Drago Breath stumbled, and the two of them went tumbling across the ring in a flurry of claws and teeth.

Blow after blow they dealt, and that's when M'Lady got her opening. But M'Lady didn't act on it, let Drago Breath have his moment, to think that he got this. Having her pinned up against the ring wall, he got in a few more blows, and M'Lady just endured the weight, scratching pathetically back up at his face to keep him distracted; he was so caught up in the battle going on at his upper body, he had totally forgot to keep watch of his back end, where the rest of M'Lady had slid under.

Then M'Lady looked up at him, gave him a sweet grin.

"See, I told you I'd win," she said.

Before Drago Breath could process the implications of her words, she drove her back leg up, straight into the opening between his back legs.

Drago Breath suddenly went still, his breath catching in his throat.

Then the pain hit him, full force, he stumbled backwards, crying out in agony as he collapsed, clutching himself as he rolled and writhed on his side in agony.

"Didn't I tell you," she teased sweetly as she regained herself at his side, "Going down holding your b***s, while everyone watches."

Drago Breath just moaned pathetically, in too much agony to care.

The audience was quiet, still processing the specticle of what they had just seen.

"And the winner is... M'Lady!" Cried the announcer, stepping into the ring to congratulate her.

And the audience broke into cheers.

"M'Lady! M'Lady!"

"See, pays off to not have n**s." M'Lady said to Drago Breath.

Drago Breath was in too much pain to disagree, he just wanted to die.

"Don't worry, I'll always like yours."

He didn't like them at the moment.

"Oh, don't be so pitiful," she chided, "You knew it was going to hurt."

"I didn't expect it to hurt worse than death!" he could only manage.

The audience laughed hysterically, many of them knew that feeling, and the ones who didn't wanted to experiment with it on the ones in their life who did.

M'Lady watched Drago Breath lovingly. Oh, her sweet fiancé, always underestimating the pain, then forgetting what it felt like by the next time someone challenged him. She was genuinely glad it was him down there in pain on the ring floor and not her.

She gave her frills a rustle as the prizes were brought out; she knew the audience loved that, almost as much as they loved seeing Drago Breath in pain on the floor; the battle had reminded them all just how magnificent they as dragons really were, no other species could fight so long and so fiercely as they had without sustaining some sort of longterm injury - despite the humble reminder that "every worm had his weak spot". Fortunately, none of the "she-worms" had to be troubled by that.

They presented M'Lady with even more decorations and ornamentation which she was sure to use in her next go-around, then she gave her tail end a little shake, giving the audience the special treat they'd been hoping for, knowing that seeing her like this without all her dress and ornamentation was a limited time offer only.

Then the announcer came out with the ultimate reward, a treasure hoard collected in ten giant chests. The audience awed at her fortune.

"Look, here," she said to Drago Breath, "It looks like I get to expand my hoard."

Drago Breath curled up deeper into himself, moaning, and still very much in pain.

"And for the Gentleman," declared the announcer, briefly feigning an injury to match the one Drago Breath had received, much to the audience's amusement, "One chest from the treasure hoard as a thank you for your participation." ... "We're just going to place this right here for when you're ready."

They placed the chest in front of the folded up dragon who was in too much pain to care. The audience laughed, and M'Lady let herself join them, filling her fancy frills with movement; this was her moment, why not let herself enjoy it. This was exactly the type of Dragon Fighting dragons across the world had come to love, and they wouldn't have had it any other way; it was a show she was more than happy to provide.

When the two fighters finally made their way out of the spotlight and back to the sanctuary behind the curtain with their treasure hoards, Drago Breath still limping, but beginning to regather some of his wits, M'Lady looked at him playfully.

"I bet I have a bigger treasure hoard than yours."

Female dragon hoards were often bigger than those of the male dragons, that much Drago Breath could agree on - not just among dragon fighters, but just in general; Scavengers often found it way more efficient to steal from dragons with a weak spot; stealing from the hoard of a dragon that was virtually indestructible was near impossible.

"Bet your cave is getting pretty full," he said back, "My bachelor pad remains as cozy as ever for me and my treasure."

"Need to keep it cozy for nursing all those injuries," she teased; "Perhaps you could use a bit of a feminine touch," M'Lady said, "Or the touch of a Feminine Hoard, because I so beat you out there."

Drago Breath chuckled, "Perhaps I'll take you up on that sometime." He winced, "Do you mind if I just sit here for awhile, I might need a little more time to hold myself."

M'Lady's eyes glinted with amusement. "Take all the time you need." She didn't need to hide her amusement from him, he knew what he had signed up for, his pain was funny to her.

"I like you," she added. "Even if the presence of your weakspot is a little off-putting. I'm joking, I like all of you."

Drago Breath's face flushed.

So he just sat there, lightly clutching at himself, doubting the discomfort would go away anytime soon.

"By the way, good battle;" M'Lady said finally, "a few times I almost thought you had... Oh never mind, I knew I was going to win all along. But you males are strong, if not for my scales, I would've been daunted. But as it stands, things turned out the way they were going to turn out; I'd say I was sorry for you, but I'm not."

"Nor should you be," said Drago Breath, finally pulling to his feet, "You'll need to save that confidence for the rematch."

"Whoa there big guy," M'Lady replied in shock, "don't get too far ahead of yourself, I'm sure there are plenty of other dragoness' who'd love to have a shot against you first. But don't worry I'll be watching, and I'll be enjoying every single battle."

Drago grinned back at her, glad to see her undying support.

M'Lady went on to battle many more dragons from that day, continuing on as an undefeated champion, building up a grand hoard for herself; although Drago Breath never won any battles, he remained a favorite among the audiences, building up a modest hoard out of his participation awards. The two of them are still taking it slow in the fiancé department, but remain as close as ever, every once in awhile giving it a go at a rematch.

Drago Breath, strength on his side, always gives it his all, carrying with him the clear advantage that would make any competitor envious.

He is still yet to win a rematch against M'Lady.

Chapter Text

Cha-ching!

The doorbell rang as Gretchen stepped into the store, ready to get this ball rolling and get the parts needed for her cute boyfriend's lightningiconic contraption.

"Ball," Gretchen giggled to herself, thinking of the word she had to get rolling with smug amusement. If only there were other words in the world like that with hilarious second meanings. Oh wait, there were.

Gretchen looked at the list of things she needed to get while here, adjusting the shopping panniers on her back to make sure they were on comfortably.

"Look at all this stuff," Gretchen mused to herself, "How does he know all these things to get, much less what they're even called." Her boyfriend must be some kind of genius.

Okay, there was a hardware section near the back where she knew she could find most of the stuff listed, if she started there and didn't get distracted, she should be good.

As she passed into the store, the storekeeper waved at her enthusiastically.

"How was the lightning repellent?" She asked, "Did it work alright?"

Gretchen suppressed her smirk of amusement, "You have no idea," she replied.

Gretchen made it to the hardware section of the store quickly, and looked around thoughtfully. There was a lot here for a relatively small market-store nestled in the mountaintops between two peaks like it was. Though everything was close together making the place cozy and local-like with its wooden rafters and all, the place was divided into a wide variety of sections where you could more or less find anything you needed for college life at the nearby University just a few miles down on the slopes, across the valley opposite. It'd take her awhile to find everything on her list.

Why does a boy need so much?

As she began to browse the selection, checking the labels, plucking up a few that she found that Grey needed, it didn't take her long before the was pulled to a sudden stop. And she couldn't help herself from snickering.

"Screw-nut," she giggled.

And that wasn't the only one; these shelves had a whole lot of nuts 'n bolts to spare. Gretchen didn't know the difference between a jacknut and a nutjack (although the latter one sounded rather painful), but whatever these names were, they were making her feel hormonal.

She would have to take extra care to contain herself here, taking any kind of shopping trip when you were always in a constant state of in-heatness was always its own challenge she'd learned, and sometimes the most normal of things were the greatest of triggers.

As she stood there looking at the parts' names, trying to push it back down, she noticed another griffin not far off, minding his own business as he looked through a similar selection. He must know he was shopping near a girl, right? Was he aware of how some of these part names must sound to her? How they must be making her feel?

But what's more, he was a guy! These names must mean everything to him, but she was a girl, they should mean nothing to her unless she knew about...

He had never told her a single thing about himself, he might not have even really paid attention to the fact she was here, but simply due to the fact that he was a guy, Gretchen already knew plenty about his male secrets. Poor Griffin, they were supposed to be too self-respecting a species for such things, but they couldn't hide how they were made; Gretchen had taken her biology course, which meant she knew about males, and if this male knew the things this girl already knew about him right now, he would probably want to cower in the corner between some shelves and blush. She could imagine it now, him there, bashfully trying to cover himself, but that would only make her know more what it was he was covering...

Oh no! Had he ever been hit there by something, fallen to his knees clutching himself? Oh yeah, she could totally imagine it.

Oh boy! Poor guy, all he was doing was mind his own business- all he ever did was just exist - and here she was...

But that was the thing with males, right? They were all like that, no mater who they were, she could just see one and know that they were capable of being brought down by the all same weaknesses as all the others. Oh, imagine what that would get to feel like for him, getting to clutch himself right there. Not the pain, the... well, for his talons. He wouldn't be able to ignore that about himself then, he'd definitely have to know he's male in case he tried to forget or something, too tough and manly to admit he's capable of such vulnerability.

Snicker. Males. Sometimes they seemed so hardened and straight forward, but deep down... they were just soft and plush.

Oh gosh, this was really making her hormonal, she had to push down these feelings before they caused her to make a fool of herself. She would try not think of how soft and... whatever-other-adjectives-she-could-think-of-to-describe-how-males-were-down-there that males were.

She grabbed a bag quickly, and threw some nuts in it; the gear-nuts, not the... well anyway, she threw them into the bag, a real, authenticated nutbag. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop herself from giggling. She could totally imagine her boyfriend having one of those. Grey was so great on that front, she didn't think he realized how much she admired him for that.

Too bad this nutbag wasn't as squishable as she presumed the one Grey had to be. A girl could always use a little bit of squish in her life, and this bag wasn't doing it for her. A sack probably would've been more effective, but the store only had paper bags to put your nut selection in, and she'd have to work with what they got. Fortunately with a name like that, this nutbag would at least work for that, to remind her of the real squishiness of every guy who had ever walked this planet. Perhaps she could find a sack for these nuts in another section of the store. That'd add some squish to these nuts.

Oh MG! She'd really just thought that. She had to cover her mouth to stop herself, she barely managed to suppress a pathetic whimper. She needed to move on before this guy over here noticed her acting out in all her hormonal glory. How would he feel to know that this random girl was thinking about his top secret place, even now as he went about his business as she'd just noted a minute earlier?

Okay, a quick breath, under control. Not that she'd stopped thinking about it, but she'd gotten it under control close enough that on the outside, she probably looked totally normal. Not to say the outside was ever totally normal when you had to deal with... well, you can already figure that.

What was Grey thinking sending a girl like her into the hardware section? Didn't he know it'd be dangerous? Maybe he wanted her to think of how silly these names sounded to her, and how they applied to him. Oh Grey, you could've just told me you wanted me to think of your boy place.

Yes, that was totally it, or at least she'd keep telling herself.

As she continued on, she couldn't help but ponder, did guys know this about themselves? Did guys know of the things that girls knew about them and how it made them feel? That just by being males, girls could know all there was to know about their malehood secrets from the simple act of existing along beside them in the world. And that guy wasn't the only guy in the store, there were others here too. It was hilarious how much girls could know about guys without even their knowledge; look at that guy there, and that other guy over there, how must that feel to live life knowing any girl could just come up to you and know anything about your embarrassing self without you even having to say anything to them? Somehow she had appropriated all the knowledge there was to know of their secret boyhood embarrassment outside their informed input, only for her to use it for her own girlhood amusement, and she was all here for it.

Oh gosh, how would she feel if she knew some random boy was thinking about her girlhood secrets without her knowing like she was thinking about all theirs?

Probably amused, she half snickered to herself. She could just image. It's not like any of them had never seen a girl in-heat before.

That was sarcasm, just-in-case-you-didn't-detect-it, they totally knew about girl's being in-heat.

If only these guys knew just how in-heat this girl was. She could just pass by them so full of it, and they might never even notice.

Girl, her thoughts were all over the place today. But that was the fun with being in-heat, the fun never ended.

As she continued to look for the items on Grey's list, her thoughts wandered to dinner (a miracle considering how much more fun it was to think about other stuff), and suddenly realized she was still out of that cooking spray she kept meaning to buy.

Better get it while I still remember to.

She looked at Grey's list and took note of what she still had to get, and decided she'd come back for the rest in a few minutes after she had selected her food and other supplies.

Just let me take note of some of these amusing new hardware names I could totally use for later, she mused to herself before backing out and heading over to the grocery section.

Plus, maybe there'll be some interesting named items over there as well, she decided; Most obviously in the nut aisle, but Gretchen was also betting some of the fruits would give her quite the chuckle as well.

Yeah, that was definitely not the reason she was making this side-trip.

As Gretchen made her way back through the store, she couldn't help but giggle to herself. How many unsuspecting males were here, just going about life like it was the normalest thing. Well she was going to tell you, no boy was the normalest thing if they had to carry she-knew-what with them all day, whether in secret or not.

I can't believe they actually let themselves bring those things into the store. I don't know how males aren't embarrassed with themselves. She knew she'd be embarrassed if she brought something like that with her into the store.

She covered her mouth as she snickered. Actually, she had.

But of all the boys, none would ever live up to Grey, she knew that.

When Gretchen reached the produce, she immediately went over and found some plums, just like she was hoping she'd find. Oh yeah, they were just the right amount of squish! Squeezing them in her talons, she'd have to be careful not to pop them; she knew there would be a special seed there inside, but that was the thing with plums, they were here to be protected.

She grabbed a couple for her and Grey; she bet Grey would so love it if he knew how much these plums made her think of him.

Berries, grapes, and cherries; they had the whole ordeal here, but... they were all too small to accurately represent her boyfriend; Griffins were pretty big creatures after all.

But then again, so were most nuts, and they had the perfect name for her regardless.

For her, she snickered again; none of these items had anything to do with her, yet somehow their naming just worked so much for her. It was boys who were on the receiving end of these names, and yet she just had to applicate those names on those who had something to do with something that was totally different from her, and it just worked. All she had to do was not be a boy, and all her boy-related names could be official anyway, just because she decided they were funny enough to be.

She could smile to herself just thinking about it.

She was glad nobody was reading her thoughts, not only would they be embarrassed, but also they'd be like "what?!" All her thoughts were just tumbling around mumbo-jumbo, she wondered if maybe even she was getting lost trying to follow them.

Doesn't matter, boys are too funny for thoughts about them to come out coherently. Sometimes a girl in-heat was going to be as scrambled in the head as a girl in-heat was going to be.

Okay, now what about squash? Squash was more of a verb to be honest, but it was one of the best verbs there was when it happened to you-guessed-what.

Ooh, she thought to herself as something else caught her eyes next to the plums; maybe it was time to shake things up a little.

She went over and picked up a peach; she knew enough to know that these ones were actually special toward her as a girl, rather than to just the boys. So much like a plum, yet like her and Grey, absolutely nothing alike when it came down to what was funny. Maybe she could get Grey to get a chuckle out of it.

Hmm.

She looked around at the other guys here. She wondered if any of them knew what was up with girls and peaches. Maybe they got all hormonal around peaches like she did around those plums. She shook her head, You boys, knowing all about my girlhood secrets when I haven't told you anything.

She tried to suppress a giggle.

She figured she could also have some fun with the melons, but those only really applied to nursing mothers as far as griffins were concerned. She wondered how she'd look when she started nursing someday; it couldn't be more obvious that she was a girl.

But until then, they'd all have to rely on the regular dimorphism to know she was a female, not one of them knowing of the womanhood she carried with her each and every day.

Or perhaps they did, all it took was one girl to blurt out her girlhood secrets, and all the guys would know how it was for all the girls everywhere. Besides, it wasn't like they needed to wear clothes; all it took was moving one leg wrong, or swishing your tail too far to one side and it would all be out; they could be thinking of her even now as she walked through the store; she could cross her legs in embarrassment, but they'd already know what she was hiding, because she was a girl, and that alone was enough to give it all away, because these boys knew things.

She snickered; now she wanted to cross her legs in embarrassment just to see their reaction to them knowing what she was hiding; these boys could only imagine.

She'd have to do that for Grey once she'd gotten him his parts.

Parts. He had some of those alright, and they were way different than hers.

Yeah, but don't forget the cooking spray! Gretchen had to remind herself yet again. Fruit?! How had she even wound up here?

So leaving the produce aisle behind, Gretchen made her way over and grabbed a canister of cooking spray before she forgot; then one extra for special measure.

And I still need to get milk! she squealed inwardly. If she didn't keep remembering these things, she would totally have forgotten them.

Okay, milk.

...

It was too bad she wasn't capable of producing her own milk at this phase of life, but she'd have to get pregnant or something to have something as perfect to store it in as these jugs did here.

She burst a quick spout of laughter, then wiped her mouth quickly. Good thing she was just buying milk and not drinking it, wouldn't have done to have it coming up her nose.

"Sorry," she said to the fellow costumer who was watching her.

Pregnancy also, that wasn't something you'd see happening to Grey. You needed a girl to do that.

So... If she got pregnant... Everyone would have to know she was a girl then. They'd probably even know what had had to have been done to her to make her that way too.

She giggled, Grey would definitely have to know. Girly pregnancy secrets weren't going to slip by him, not if she had anything to say in the matter. And she did have something to say. A lot.

There, she had gotten all the food she needed for now; she might as well take a quick detour by the nut aisle for good measure while she was on this side of the store, even though she didn't really need anything from there but a few giggles. (Fortunately, there would still be plenty of nuts back in the hardware section, so don't worry store-nuts, you'll still be getting your representation.)

Okay, she'd done that, now to get back to collecting the rest of Grey's parts.

So she made her way back around to the hardware section.

...

Of course not all the shoppers here were guys of course, there were plenty of lady griffins here as well. In fact, she even caught sight of one of those lady griffins going down the... lady aisle. Or as the store called it, feminine care.

How embarrassing! What if a guy saw that? They could easily know what you were shopping for down there to deal with your... lady issues.

Feminine Care; sounded so soft and relaxing, but we all knew it was for the funny stuff down there.

Down there as in down the aisle, that was definitely what Gretchen meant.

Come to think of it, maybe she needed some lady supplies herself. And perfect timing too, a male griffin was just passing by, he'd get to see her go into the lady aisle and he'd get to think of the many implications of what that meant for her and her lady situations because of it. She couldn't suppress the snicker at the thought, and the poor guy couldn't stop himself from glancing at her, suddenly flustered by the thoughts of what she was must be getting for herself down there.

And she would totally get it to, and use it. Because she needed to. Chew on that all you males who thought things.

Lady supplies down, hardware section for real this time.

Perhaps being in this store shopping for what she was shopping for was making a display of herself, but none of the guys were in the clear either. Because she knew their secret, the secret all males shared whether they wanted to or not; you knew one boy, you knew them all, and she couldn't get enough of it. Just by being here in this store, they had invited this girl into their secret world of male embarrassment; just by passing by, they could see her moving past them, not even knowing the implications of what their simple presence here revealed about themselves. They all looked so casual, but even now she could so easily imagine each and every one of them getting completely decimated by a well aimed lightning bolt to their… well, how should she say it this time? Their top secret embarrassing place that wasn't quite so top secret; she could imagine them dropping to their knees, clutching at themselves so humorously...

A nice kick would also be perfect; she could imagine the impact, so soft and... well, the right word alluded her at the moment, but she knew a word that good couldn't allude her for long.

Gretchen knew too much about this stuff, she decided with a suppressed snicker, if any guys could read her thoughts, they’d be so embarrassed that a girl like her would know so many embarrassing secrets over their embarrassing halves that she totally did not share in. She tried to hold back her giggles, but she couldn't. This store trip was too much.

Also, they'd be very confused, because hadn't she already thought similar things before. But then, wasn't that how minds worked? They went in circles? Or was that just her? Well, if you didn't like that, then don't read her mind!

Good thing nobody was, if she knew somebody was reading her mind right now, she'd probably be more embarrassed with herself than she already was.

Even so, people were kind of starting to notice her now, every time she drew attention to herself. Poor guys, they must be wondering what was up with her. If only they knew. No boy was going to get away with being male without some girl having silly thoughts about them. Certainly not on her watch.

Once again she snickered; if things like these were so exclusive to guys, why were they so much fun for girls?

Gretchen made it again to the hardware aisle, and again began to go down Grey's list, checking off items as she got them.

She reached the electronic electrode conducer, or something she was supposed to get, and grabbed one off the rack, looking at it.

Was it supposed to look like that?

She picked up another and compared them. Nope, that first one was definitely damaged, she may not have known her parts like Grey did, but she knew that that piece was probably not supposed to be hanging loose like that-

Without warning, she almost lost her spit with a burst of laughter. She covered her mouth, containing herself just in time. She didn't know what hit her, that thought had just sounded so funny to her, and it had happened so unexpectedly...

She took the one that still looked like it was still intact, and wrapped it with a cloth she'd found in the micro-fibers, putting it carefully in her shopping panniers. She would have to be careful, she didn't want to break it like the other one had been before it even got out of the box. It was equipment afterall, and like all equipment, it could get damaged.

She snickered again. Grey had such hilarious reactions whenever his equipment got temporarily damaged. What was funniest was he knew that Gretchen knew all about it, and there was nothing he could do to hide it; whenever his equipment got damaged, it was damaged for all to see.

Oh Grey, she knew exactly what you had, so unbefitting of anyone with any amount amount of dignity, yet so endearing.

Okay, so she had checked that piece of equipment off her list, on to the last few.

Snickering still to herself, she continued her search. Equipment was a funny term. It implied it had a use; which she supposed it did, but what better use was there than to amuse all the girls?

One thing was for sure, whoever was naming these items should've been more careful, they had to have known some girl would come around and see them.

Much like when she would come around and accidentally see Grey from the wrong angle.

Yeah, Grey totally knew she knew what he had. He wasn't getting out of that one.

She'd thought that perhaps she'd finally reached the conclusion of what the equipment had to offer to make her giggle, when suddenly she saw the next thing on the shelf and stopped.

Okay, why did this Couplery Electrode Converter or whatever have a male and female version... What did that even mean? How could a part be male or female? She could laugh at the names all she wanted, but it wasn't like they actually had...

...

But of course it made sense. As she looked at all the pieces, it suddenly became clear which ones were which as she realized which of the parts were meant for as plugs, and which ones got to get plugged into.

Once again, she couldn't contain her giggles; she was envious of the latter of those parts; she wished she was female.

Oh wait, she was. And like all these female parts here, it was only a matter of time.

"Plug it in, plug it in," she giggled to herself, remembering the old jingle from way back in the day that she jingled to herself every time it popped into her head. She'd totally been missing on those lyrics until now.

...

She looked around, suddenly regaining her composure, fortunate that nobody was in this section at the moment; this wasn't the place to be seen holding her rear in the air, giving it a little wiggle. Sure all these boys probably knew plenty of embarrassing things about her just for her being a girl on a shopping trip, but she didn't want to be obvious about it, a girl's gotta have some self-respect. She'd have plenty of time to do that later, they could imagine what she was going to do with herself when she got back to her dorm in their own time. She knew she'd be spending her own time with plenty of amusement.

So she finished up her search for equipment, all these gears and metal whatnots, Grey should be all set for experimenting with whatever contraption he was hoping to finish. Gretchen should probably take another once-over of the store to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything.

As she passed back along the aisles, she caught a quick glance or two from the occasional shopper, she had probably drawn a little bit of attention to herself this time with her occasional outbursts; the other shoppers were probably just checking to see if she'd gotten everything figured out yet.

Never! But she didn't need to make that obvious.

It seemed she had everything she needed, maybe a few paper towels and toilet paper to use on herself and stuff, but what else did she need?

She was passing by the section where they sold toys, and couldn't help but giggle as she saw all the balls they had there, ready to sell. So many balls, so squishy and bouncy!

She was so childish, laughing at the most immature of things, and this girl wasn't ashamed to admit it; some names would never grow old.

...

And then she came to a stop, suddenly and abrupt. Her face grew warm with warmth, and she could feel her whole face beginning to glow with adoration.

"Plushies!" she nearly squeaked and squealed at the same time as she felt joy overflowing her very being.

It was the perfect name; not only were all these plushies here absolutely adorable, but it was so much the perfect word, how had she never thought of it before!? Plushies were just so plush and... plushie! They were soft and squishy, and you could just squeeze them lovingly, and they were the most endearing thing on the planet! Just like Grey!

Oh no, she couldn't with that term, she just needed it, she needed Grey to have it. Grey so stable and handsome with something so plush...

She wanted to shriek, to squeal, she loved it so much! She had to cover her mouth with her paws to keep it together. She loved males so much, that much was obvious, and to know that Grey had his own set of plushies, right there where she wanted them to be...........!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hey ma'am, are you okay?"

It was a male, a carrier of something overwhelmingly plushie.

Gretchen just lost it. She burst out screaming with laughter right there in the store. She threw herself to the floor laughing hysterically, rolling around, unable to control herself.

It was perfect, so perfect! The term had been right there, ready for her, just when she had needed it most; the only term that could possibly come close to expressing the oversweltering adoration of something so PLUSH!

But that's just it, wasn't it? A girl needed something plush, and there was just so much plushness to go around, a girl couldn't get enough of it!

"Plushies!" She cried hormonally, "I LOVE PLUSHIES!"

Oh G, she had to pee! Which was something else girls did that boys knew too much about.

Costumers passing by just looked at her, shaking their heads. A girl's gonna do what a girl's gonna do.

When Gretchen finally recovered herself, her sides still heaving, she pulled her legs under her and looked around. She'd made a scene of herself, hadn't she? Plus, she'd been belly up. So much for them not knowing she was a girl.

Plushies, she snickered again; she was keeping that one.

She'd also keep one of these actual plushies too, this one was just too cute. She could pretend it was male, so her plushie could have his own plushies.

She checked her panniers to make sure none of Grey's equipment had gotten as damaged as his own equipment sometimes did - fortunately the microfibers were legit - then she made her way to the checkout where the storekeeper was waiting.

"An effective store trip I see," the lady griffin said.

"You have no idea," Gretchen smirked.

"Oh, I think I do," the shopkeeper winked, handing back her items, "Enjoy those plushies."

So Gretchen left the store, still on the verge of once again no longer being able to contain herself. She checked her panniers to make sure they were safe for the flight back to the school. Hopefully she was safe for a flight back to the school.

That had been something. A girl shouldn't be able to bring all that girl-stuff with her into the store! But then again, not like she had anywhere else to store them; had to make do with what you got, even if what you got should never be brought into public in the first place. She couldn't believe she had actually brought her girlhood into the store like that. But she guessed it was no different than those boys who brought their plushies literally everywhere they went.

Plushies :D She was never getting over that.

This storetrip had been even more productive than Grey could ever have guessed, she was going to come back with more than just items, but with the best term that had ever existed in the history of lifetime, and that wasn't something she would ever let Grey forget.

So, spreading her wings, she took off and took flight down from the mountain.

As Grey finished looking through the the items and parts Gretchen had brought him, he looked up at her, impressed.

"I'm impressed," he said, "I wasn't sure you'd know what everything was on the list, but it's all right here."

Gretchen shrugged, "Well, at first I had my doubts, but then I got invested."

Grey gathered up the stuff, then looked at her from behind the stack. "Well, I'm going to get all showered up, what say we meet at the study hall in a couple of hours to work on that assignment for Mrs. Arbite."

Grey realized the instant mistake he'd made by mentioning showers the moment Gretchen's eyes lit up.

"Ooh, a shower," she said, "have fun in there. I know I have a lot of fun in there; I get the full feminine experience. Oh, one last thing," she took out the final two items she'd been hiding back in her panniers, "Don't forget 2 Wash-'er Nuts."

Grey's face went red as Gretchen burst out laughing.

Wait until she told him about his plushies.

Chapter Text

“Wait! Are we actually doing this? Are we finally getting our own story about my favorite boyfriend getting hurt in the funnies!?”

Latte looked up at the title Mochi was going on about, clearly not impressed. “Yeah, not gonna happen.”

“Oh come on, it’s the title, it never fails.” Mochi insisted. “Besides, can’t disappoint the point of this entire anthology; you being male is just too funny an opportunity to pass up.”

“Wasn’t this supposed to be made into a YouTube Short or something?” Latte asked skeptically.

“Yeah, but you know our hooman,” Mochi said, “Never can get those videos edited. Plus, I hear his phone is out of memory, so, I guess we’re getting a story in the Official Anthology! Maybe we’ll get an adaptation.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Latte said, still not buying it.

Mochi turned to the readers, heeding Latte no mind, “As you can see, today’s episode is: How to Witness Your Hedgehog Boyfriend Getting Hurt in the Funnies.” She giggled at the last word.

“Yeah, I’m not doing this,” Latte said walking away.

“Wait!” cried Mochi after him, “You don’t want to be the first male in this entire anthology to not get hurt in the funnies!”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Latte said.

“He’s totally getting hurt in the funnies,” Mochi told the readers.

“1: Standing on the wrong side of a seesaw!”

Somehow Latte wound up standing over a seesaw, facing away, his back legs positioned over the lower side.

Suddenly, an anvil fell out of the sky, headed straight for the uplifted side of the seesaw opposite.

“Yeah, uh, I am not going to stand over a seesaw like this.” Latte stated, fully aware of the danger of his situation.

Latte took a step forward removing himself from over the seesaw entirely; the anvil landed on the seesaw, springing the other side of the seesaw up behind him, missing him in the funnies entirely.

“Oh doodles,” Mochi exclaimed disappointed.

“2: Laying on his back, when an anvil suddenly falls out of the sky!”

Latte inexplicably lay on his back, when suddenly, an avail fell out of the sky, headed straight for him.

CRASH!

The anvil landed on the ground, missing his funnies by inches.

“Woah, that was close,” Latte observed. Then he curled up into a ball and rolled away.

“Doodles again!” Mochi grumbled.

“3: Tumbling down the side of a cliff!”

Latte and Mochi found themselves tumbling down the side of a cliff at unstoppable speeds.

“How did we even get up here!” Latte cried.

“Look out! Rock!” Mochi cried.

Latte missed the rock entirely. Mochi slammed down on it instead, tiny little hedgehog legs hanging on either side of it.

“At least I’m not a boy,” Mochi groaned, whole body clinching inward. “Ooh, right in the Girlies!”

“Well, I guess you have it, How to Not See Any Hedgehog Boyfriends Getting Hit in the Funnies. So much for a perfect Anthology Collection.”

“Kind of works for me,” Latte said, standing a bit off behind her in the background.

BWOOT!

The younguns off in the nearby park had kicked the soccer ball, hard and clear.

BWOOT! 2

It sailed right through Latte’s back legs, hitting him hard.

“UGGGGGHHHHH!” Cried Latte, grabbing at himself with his itty-bitty Hedgehog paws.

Mochi spun around at his voice.

“It happened! Oh my gosh it happened!” Mochi giggled.

Latte curled up and writhe-rolled in agony.

“So that is what balls feel like,” Latte observed agonizedly.

“You mean soccer balls, right?” Mochi snickered.

Latte only managed a very informative moan of response.

“So there you have it,” Mochi announced proudly, turning to the reader, “How to witness your adorable hedgehog boyfriend getting hit in the funnies! It never fails!”

Latte just gave a groaning response.