Archive of Our Own ^beta

Emma reaches up to ring the doorbell.  Standing on Regina’s porch no longer holds the same level of dread and apprehension it once did.  They’ve been getting along much better since the second curse was broken.  It helps that Regina’s dating Ruby now; she tends to act  as a buffer and peacekeeper in most situations.  When the door opens, it’s Ruby who greets her with a wide grin.

“Hey Em,” she says, stepping aside to let the other woman enter.  “Regina called to say she’d be late home because some really dull sounding meeting is taking longer than expected.”  She closes the door.  “And she says I’ve not to let you touch anything magical until she gets here.”

Emma rolls her eyes.  “I am getting pretty good with the magic stuff now,” she protests.  “I’ve broken curses and zapped monst-, actually no, that was her.  But still, she needs to loosen up.”

Ruby raises an eyebrow, ushering Emma into the living room.  “Are we ignoring the time you blew up the jailhouse?”  It’s said with a smile, though there is a serious undertone to the words.

“One time,” Emma says.  “And I totally got a handle on my powers after that.”

“I know,” Ruby agrees.  “Look, strange as it may seem, this is Regina’s way of showing she cares.  She knows what magic can do.  She wants to make sure you get better training than she did.”

Emma nods.  “I get that,” she says, her voice softer than previously.  “I do.  I just...I wish she’d trust me a little more is all.”

Ruby places a hand on Emma’s arm. “That she’s teaching you magic at all shows incredible trust. You’re not the type to use magic for personal gain.”

“So my life is one huge episode of Charmed?”

“It means that all ma-”

“Magic comes with a price,” Emma finishes, rolling her eyes. “I know.” She leads them both through Regina’s house, through the kitchen, and down the stairs into the basement where her previous magic lessons have taken place. “But seriously,” she says, making herself at home and pulling various test tubes and vials out of cupboards, “I’m pretty good.” Pulling out a bunsen burner, Emma starts fitting things together. She feels like a mad scientist, and she can’t help the little thrill that runs through her.

“No magic until Regina comes home,” Ruby warns.

“So think of it as chemistry.”

“I’m not thinking of it as anything because you’re not doing anything until Regina comes home.”

Emma frowns; she’s pretty sure Ruby used to be more fun than this.  Turning back to the equipment, she murmurs a single word under her breath, knowing that Ruby will hear it.  “Whipped.”

The growl Ruby lets out is probably subconscious, but it still makes the hair on the back of Emma’s neck stand up.

“I am not ‘whipped’,” Ruby says, and Emma is pretty sure she’s pouting.

“Sure you’re not,” Emma agrees, her tone indicating she’s not being entirely sincere.

“I am not,” Ruby argues, coming to stand by Emma, arms folded and brow creased.

“Mhmm. So let me do some magic. You know… if you’re not whipped.”

“That’s really a mature attitude, Em,” Ruby says.  “I’m beginning to see why Regina doesn’t want you practising magic without her around.”

“That’s a clever way to cover up how whipped you are,” Emma says, picking up bottles of ingredients and shaking them.  

“You think I’m gonna let you do this because you call me chicken?” Ruby asks.

Emma just looks at her and raises an eyebrow, lifting one shoulder in a half shrug.  Ruby shakes her head and sighs and Emma knows she’s won.  She bites her cheek to keep from laughing.

“Fine,” the werewolf says.  “Something simple.  A little spell.  Your tiniest trick.”

“Tricks are what you do for doggy treats, Rubes,” Emma says, already flicking through the spellbook she’s most familiar with.  “This is magic.”

“You’re not endearing yourself to me, Swan,” Ruby says.  “And you better makes this worth it because Regina’s gonna kill us both if she finds us down here, playing around.”

“Don’t worry,” Emma tells her with a grin.  “I’ll tell her you were a dutiful girlfriend and tried to stop me.”

“And then she’ll look at me with that face she does and say something like ‘I wasn’t aware annoying blondes could overcome werewolf strength, dear’,” Ruby says.

“She still thinks I’m annoying?  Seriously?” Emma asks with a frown.

“Regina thinks everybody’s annoying except me and Henry,” Ruby says, shrugging.  “Sometimes Snow.”

Emma frowns at that. “So my mom spills a huge secret about Regina that somehow winds up getting her first love killed… And I’m the more annoying one?” As if out of spite, Emma starts pulling ingredients off the shelf and starts throwing bits and pieces into a mortar and pestle. “Rude.” She starts grinding with a little more force than necessary.

“Um… I said ‘spell’,” Ruby says, placing a hand on top of Emma’s to stop her from grinding. “That’s not a spell.”

“Why show you something simple when I can show you something awesome?” She smiles a sickeningly sweet smile. “It’s just a little potion. One that I’ve perfected a dozen times.”

“Perfected, or practised?” Ruby asks, raising an eyebrow. “‘Cause they’re two totally different things.”

“Just shut up and let me concentrate.”

Ruby presses her lips together as if she’s trying to keep the words inside.  Emma places a beaker on a stand over the burner and lights the flame, adding some water and a few drops from some of the bottles.  The potion starts to swirl of its own accord; turning a beautiful silver colour.  Emma smiles, recognising this from her past experiences with the potion.  Ruby is shifting from foot to foot beside her, clearly nervous.

“Okay, you’re gonna have to tell me what it does,” Ruby eventually bursts out.  “I need to know what to tell Regina if she needs to fix it.”

Emma can’t help but sigh at Ruby’s lack of belief in her.  “After our little trip back in time, I got interested in the whole ‘looking like someone else’ thing that Gold did on me,” Emma explains.  “So I got Regina to teach me how to do it with a glamour potion.”  She turns off the flame and leaves the liquid to cool in the beaker.

“So you’re gonna make yourself look different?” Ruby clarifies. “And you’ve done it before?”

“Yep,” Emma says, popping the ‘p’.  “I made myself look like my mom last time.”

“Well, that’s hardly a stretch, is it?” Ruby teases.  “You’ve already got her chin.”

Emma rolls her eyes.  “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” she tells her friend.  “Soon you’ll be in awe of my power.”  She picks up a set of tongs and lifts the hot container, pouring it into two test tubes.

“So, who you gonna look like this time?” Ruby asks. “Make it hard.  Do Granny.”

“That’s child’s play. I wanna see what it’s like to be you… Or at least look like you.”

Ruby frowns. “Exactly how long does this glamour last?”

Emma is surprised at the question, thinking that Ruby would at least be a little flattered by this revelation. Apparently not. “Like… an hour?”

“You don’t sound so sure of this hour. And that doesn’t instill a whole lot of confidence in me about you.”

“Well I’m confident in me, so that’s all that matters. It’s all in the amount of the potion I make.”

Ruby raises an eyebrow.  “You’re sure magic’s the only thing Regina’s been teaching you?” she asks.  “You’re starting to sound like her…”

“After magic lessons we do self-confidence and needlepoint,” Emma tells her, lifting one of the test tubes and swirling its contents.  “Imagine Regina’s face when she comes home to two of you.”

Eyes widening comically, Ruby bites her lip.  “I’m...not sure I want to think about that.”

Emma winks at her.  “Okay, well, bottoms up!”  She tips her head back and drinks the potion.  She waits.  Something’s not right.  It doesn’t feel like it did before.  She frowns, looking at the remnants of the liquid in the test tube.  It’s no longer silver; it’s blood red.  “Oh, shit.”

“What?” Ruby’s immediately by her side.  “What is it?”

Emma has no chance to respond before a red cloud engulfs and passes through them.

---

It’s rather anti-climactic considering Emma’s reaction. She turns to look at Emma but is staring at her own face. She shrugs. “Well it must’ve worked then.”

Emma shakes Ruby’s head emphatically. “No. No it did not. Oh crap. Oh no. Oh shit. Shit!”

“What?!” Ruby snaps.

“There’s… a minor, very small setback. Tiny, really. And it’s nothing to panic about, because I can fix it. I can. I just… need to figure out what went wrong.”

Ruby frowns, feeling her blood boil to the surface. “What did you do?”  Each word is enunciated clearly to keep her from losing her temper.

Emma swallows and winces almost waiting for the tongue lashing. “We’ve…well, I think...we’ve swapped bodies.”

Ruby’s eyes widen and she runs as fast as her legs can carry her - which isn’t very fast, she notices - up the stairs, through the kitchen and into the foyer, locating a mirror. What she sees in the reflection is enough to make her scream like a banshee. “Emma!!” She stalks back down to the basement, ranting as she does. “You said you had done this a dozen times! You said you had this perfected! You said you were confident! You said!”

Looking down at her body, Ruby experimentally flexes her muscles and feels very little response.  She’s weak as a kitten.  She looks up at herse- at Emma whose eyes are brimming with tears.  It’s intensely weird to look at herself and not be in control of what her face is doing.

“I have done this before.  It worked every time.”  Emma runs her hand through her hair and gets it caught in the much longer tresses.  “I don’t know what went wrong.”

“Then how are you supposed to fix it?” Ruby persists.  “Especially when that body doesn’t have your innate special snowflake magic?”

“It must’ve been something in the ingredients,” Emma says, biting Ruby’s lip and turning back to the workbench.  “I must’ve added too much of something.  Or too little…”

“Well, you better figure it out fast because we don’t have much ti-”  She stops short when Emma’s head whips around.  “What?  What now?”

“The front door just opened…” Emma whispers. “I heard it.”

Ruby’s heart sinks when she realises she’s lost her senses as well as her strength because she didn’t hear anything of the sort.  “Great. Regina’s home.” She turns a glare on Emma. “We can get her to fix this.”

Emma rushes forward and turns large eyes on Ruby. “Ruby please, no. I can fix this. I promise. I -”

“How?!” Ruby lets out. “How can you fix this when you don’t know what you did wrong?”

“Ruby?” Regina’s voice comes from upstairs.

Ruby’s heart skips a beat, knowing how much trouble they’re both going to be in when Regina finds out what’s happened. She’s about to call back out to Regina, when a strong hand claps over her mouth, taking her by surprise.

“I’ll be right up, ‘Gina,” Emma replies in Ruby’s voice, and Ruby tries to turn to look at her;  mortified. She uncovers Ruby’s mouth. “If Regina finds out how much I screwed up she will never teach me to use magic again. Ever. And you’re gonna be in a whole world of hurt if she ever finds out you let me do this.” Emma quickly starts stashing things away. “Let me prove that I can do this. It would be the ultimate test. No one has to know.”

Ruby weighs up her options.  She could tell Regina right now and put everything back as it should be.  But, as Emma has pointed out, Regina is likely to revoke Emma’s magical privileges for the foreseeable future.  She could pretend to be Emma and let Emma try to figure it out.  And then tell Regina and get her to fix it when that doesn’t work.  Telling Regina seems inevitable, really.  She turns to say this to Emma, but finds herself staring into large, hopeful eyes.  Her own.  And damn but if those puppy eyes aren’t effective.

“Okay,” she begins, and Emma’s face brightens immediately.  “Here’s what’s going to happen.  We’re going to let this play out for a little while and you are going to find a way to fix it.  I will find some way to stay here because you said this stuff only lasts for an hour.”

At this, Emma’s smile dims.  “Well...that was the other spell, the one that worked before.  I don’t know about this one.”

Ruby sighs and clenches her jaw.  “Fine.  I will go along with this charade for one day.  By this time tomorrow night, if you haven’t fixed it, I’m telling Regina, okay?”

“Yes, one day, perfect,” Emma agrees.

“Also, I’m shaving your head,” Ruby adds.  “And you will be bald.  So keep that in mind.”

“Great,” Emma says.  “I’ll have fixed it by then.  No need for shaving of any kind.”  She heads for the staircase, but Ruby stops her with a hand on her elbow.

“Some tips before we go up here,” she says, making Emma’s voice as threatening as she can.  “Number one; do not abbreviate Regina’s name in any way ever again and do not use ridiculous pet names for her.  She hates that.”

“But she calls everyone ‘dear’ all the time,” Emma argues.  

“Doesn’t matter,” Ruby continues.  “No weird names; just Regina.”

“Fine.  What else?”

“I...don’t even know where to start, Em,” Ruby admits.  “You know me.  You’ve seen me with Regina.  Just...try not to make her suspicious.”

Emma nods and tries for a confident smile, though it falls far short.  Ruby shakes her head.  “Oh, and don’t touch her.”

Emma frowns.  “Don’t tou-...you touch her all the time!”

“Yes, I am allowed to touch her,” Ruby counters.  “But you are not.  Unless you want me to be a very jealous and pissed off werewolf tomorrow, you will keep  my hands off my girlfriend.”

“Jesus, you make it sound like I want to touch her,” Emma says, wrinkling her nose.

“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you’re not insulting her right now,” Ruby says.  “But I mean it.  Don’t have sex with Regina. Don’t go anywhere near Regina. Lock yourself away down here.”

“And what do I do about sleep?” Emma asks.

Ruby shakes her head, glaring. “Sleep? No, no, no. You got us into this mess. There is no sleep.”

“Seriously? How the hell am I supposed to make it better without any sleep?”

Ruby tries to growl, but in Emma’s body, she only manages a groan. “Sleep on the couch if you have to.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to make her suspicious,” Emma asks, confused.  “Do you sleep on the couch a lot?”

Pausing, Ruby considers this.  “Well...no.  Never.”

“So won’t it look weird if I don’t wanna sleep with her?” Emma presses.

Ruby is conflicted.  On one hand, Emma is right.  On the other, she really doesn’t want Emma spending the night in her bed with her Regina.  She sighs.

“What are the chances of you fixing this before tonight ends?”

“Fixing what, Ms Swan?” Regina’s voice is accompanied by her footsteps on the basement stairs.  

Ruby’s eyes go wide; she’s not used to people sneaking up on her.  She looks to Emma for help, but the taller woman shrugs.

“Uh...I had a fight with Mary Margaret...Ruby’s gonna try to smooth things over for me,” Ruby says, finding it very strange to talk about herself.

“I see,” Regina says non-committally. “What was it over? Whose chin cleft is deeper?”

A smile springs to Ruby’s face and she shakes her head gently, always amused by Regina’s jibes at the Charming brood.  Emma, meanwhile, has taken it upon herself to frown deeply.

“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?” she asks, gesturing at Ruby.  “She’s had a fight with her mother and they have a very complicated relationship already.”

Regina turns to look at Emma, taken aback by the response.  Ruby closes her eyes.  This is never going to work if Emma says things like that.  Regina turns back to appraise Ruby, and their eyes meet.  As ever, Ruby finds herself drawn in by the warm brown of Regina’s eyes and their eye contact lasts a little longer than it should.  Regina breaks it, blinking a couple of times before fixing Ruby with an annoyed expression.

“She doesn’t look distressed to me, dear,” she says.  “She’s wearing a dopey smile.”

“I think maybe Emma is trying to hide the fact that you just hurt her,” Emma responds with a meaningful glare at Ruby’s direction. “I mean… I know I would be offended.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” both Regina and Ruby respond sceptically.

“What are the two of you even doing down here anyway?” She makes her way further into the room towards Emma and kisses her on the cheek. Emma flinches and Ruby clenches her fists by her side, fixing the woman with a glare. All Emma can do is hide a shrug. “Didn’t I specifically tell you to tell Emma not to touch anything magical?”

“We were just -”

“I was speaking to Ruby, Ms Swan.”

Ruby’s mouth drops open and then she turns it into a pout. She’s not sure how much she can handle Regina’s annoyance directed at her. She tries hard to keep her emotions in check and stands there silently.

“We… were…” Emma is floundering. Great. “Just setting up. Getting ready.” Ruby starts breathing again. That’s… plausible. “Besides, I’m pretty sure if Emma were to touch anything magical, nothing bad would happen. I mean she’s totally capable. Totally.”

Ruby presses her lips together and tries to shake her head without being obvious about it.  Emma is looking at her over Regina’s shoulder.  Regina turns to follow Emma’s eyes and Ruby smiles at her, raising her eyebrows hopefully.  Regina frowns before facing Emma once more.

“I think we’ll leave the assessments of Ms Swan’s magical abilities to me, don’t you dear?” she says.  “And ‘totally capable’ is not how I’d describe her.”

Trying to think of how Emma would react in this situation, Ruby closes her eyes.  “Uh, still in the room, Regina,” she tries.  Regina doesn’t bother to look at her.  Emma is frowning at Regina’s description of her and Ruby makes a mental note to frown as little as possible, because it is not a good look on her.  She doesn’t have long to contemplate this because Regina moves closer to Emma, putting her hands on her hips.  Ruby’s teeth are grinding so hard in her mouth she’s sure the others will hear it.  Emma takes a step backwards.

“Regina…” she warns, sliding the woman’s hands off her hips. “We have company.” She inclines her head towards Ruby who looks like she is about to explode.

“I’m sure it’s nothing Emma hasn’t seen before, and since when did you become so shy about public displays of affection?” Regina reaches out and draws Emma closer to her, winding her arms around her waist and laying her head on her shoulder.  She meets Ruby’s eyes, a hint of a smile playing at her lips.  “Does this offend you Emma?”

It more than offends her.  It makes her want to punch Emma in the face.  Which she’d probably regret because it would result in a black eye for herself and it’s not Emma’s fault that Regina decided to get all affectionate.   Actually, it is completely Emma’s fault that they’re in this situation in the first place.  Regina’s still looking at her, very closely.  So she shrugs.

“As you said, nothing I haven’t seen before,” she says, through gritted teeth, because she can’t seem to unclench her jaw.  “I think Ruby’s just trying to change the subject so you don’t chew her out anymore for letting me near your magic stuff, right Rubes?”

“Thanks Em,” Emma says, patting Regina’s shoulder, standing absolutely rigid in the Mayor’s  arms.

Regina turns to look up at Ruby.  “Oh, I’m sure I’ll come up with a suitable punishment for Ruby later tonight,” she murmurs.  The low, seductive tone in Regina’s voice immediately causes a stirring in Ruby’s abdomen, but then she remembers the words are being directed at Emma, who looks as if she’s just been condemned to death.  Before she can stop herself, she’s moved towards them and pulled Emma away from Regina.  

“No!”  She’s breathing heavily, and she hears Emma sigh in relief behind her.  Regina, however, does not look amused in the slightest.  Ruby hurries to try to cover.  “I...I mean...you...you shouldn’t punish Ruby for this.  It was my fault.  I...I convinced her to let me come down here and play with your things.”

Emma pipes up from behind her.  “Yeah, she did.”

Regina’s eyes narrow, looking between the two women.  “I had thought it was abundantly clear that the ‘punishment’ would be something Ruby would find quite pleasurable, but it seems the two of you didn’t pick up on the subtle nuances of my tone.”  She looks at Emma.  “I’m not surprised at Sheriff Swan missing something so obvious, but you?”

Emma swallows. “I, uh, I guess I was waiting for you to chew me out, and I missed it. Sorry babe.” Immediately Emma flinches and Ruby resists the urge to scream.

“Babe?” Regina questions. Ruby chances a glance at her girlfriend. Her brows are raised and she looks disapproving.

“Clearly I need to be caffeinated,” Emma says, trying to smile.  “I’m losing my mind.”

“I’ll say,” Ruby mumbles grudgingly. When a glare is set upon her by Regina, she clears her throat and puts on her best whine. “I mean… what about my lesson?”

Regina hesitates, her eyes flitting between the two women in front of her and Ruby holds her breath.  Regina is very good at knowing when she’s lying and she hopes that having Emma’s face on will prevent that.  Eventually Regina sighs.

“Look, I’m tired, I’ve had a long day, the two of you are acting strangely and I think there’s more going on here than I’m privy to.”  Ruby tries to look confused and innocent at the same time.  She’s not sure it works.  “So I’m going to cancel this evening’s lesson and we can reschedule for another time.”

“Oh, okay,” Emma says sounding disappointed. Ruby glares briefly at her before returning her attention to Regina.

“Ruby was uh… excited to see some magic. To see how far I’d progressed,” Ruby tries in an effort to wash over the situation.

Regina looks between the two women, frowning. “Ruby has enough magic in her life without you being here, Ms Swan.”

“Right,” Emma agrees, looking slightly worried about what kind of ‘magic’ Regina is referring to.  “Uh...Emma was telling me about spells that make her look like other people.  She said she was getting really good at them.”

An eyebrow climbs up Regina’s forehead as she turns to look at Ruby.  “Yes, she’s almost competent at simple glamour spells.”

“Uh,” Ruby stammers, still not used to Regina’s indifferent gaze.  “Right.  I guess...we’ll be moving on soon then?  What’s next?”

“We’ll move on when I decide you’re good and ready,” Regina tells her.  “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend at least a fraction of my evening relaxing by the fire with a nice glass of wine.”

“That’s a great idea!” Emma practically bursts. “Why don’t you stay for dinner, R...Em-Emma?”

Again, Regina frowns, she’d obviously not wanted company, and Emma has either not picked up on this, or chosen to ignore it for fear of being  left alone with Regina. “And who is cooking this feast?”

“It’s fine,” Ruby says, holding up a hand.  She’s well aware that Emma was about to protest, which is something she’d never do if Regina said she was tired and strongly hinted she didn’t want company.  “I’ll go get Henry and take him for ice-cream or something since we have a free evening together now.”  She resists the urge to sigh, because Henry is a challenge she hadn’t counted on.  The kid is incredibly perceptive and curious and he’s bound to notice that his mother isn’t quite what she seems.  Well, she’ll have to face that when she gets there, for now they need to keep Regina from becoming even more suspicious.

“You sure?” Emma asks, eyes wide and frightened.  “I mean, we’re not throwing you out or whatever.”

Regina’s raised eyebrow and tapping foot says otherwise and Ruby offers them both a smile.  “Thanks Rubes, I’m good.”  She starts to back up towards the stairs.  “Maybe another time?”

“Yes,” Regina replies before Emma can invite her over tomorrow morning or tomorrow evening. She gives her a curious look. “Another time when we’ve rescheduled her magic lessons.” She turns back to who she thinks is Emma, and Ruby lets out a breath when this look is softer than the ones she’s been given previously. “Do give my love to Henry.”

Ruby is nodding before Regina is finished. “Of course.”

“We’ll walk you out,” Emma says.

The three women continue up the stairs and through the manor until they’re standing at the front door. Ruby reaches for the handle, hesitantly. She is about to leave her home and her girlfriend behind, with Emma Swan. The only positive about this is that Emma may well have pissed her off enough by suggesting she stay when Regina clearly didn’t want company. Which means Regina probably won’t want to go anywhere near her.

“Okay, well have a good night Ms Swan,” Regina breaks into Ruby’s musings, practically pushing her out the door.

Ruby stumbles a little, still not quite used to Emma’s less graceful body.  She turns to look over her shoulder at the two women framed in the doorway.  Regina looks annoyed and Emma looks terrified and Ruby is having trouble remembering why on earth she agreed to this in the first place.  In future, she’ll listen to Regina when she tells her not to let amateur sorceresses practise magic in their basement.   She holds up a hand to wave.

“‘Night,” she says, her throat suddenly painful.  Regina nods and closes the door, leaving Ruby alone on the walk.  She turns to face the street and her eyes land on Emma’s yellow Bug.  Casting a longing glance at her precious Camaro, she sighs.  “Good going, Lucas,” she murmurs to herself as she unlocks the car and climbs in.  She turns the key and the engine gurgles to life.  “She gets one person to fool, I get three.  That’s really fair.”  

She’s still mumbling to herself when she pulls away and drives towards the loft.  

---

Regina turns back to Emma and fixes her with a frown. “Alone at last. Although I got the feeling back there you didn’t want to be.”

“I… No it wasn’t like that. I promise.” Emma has no idea where she’s going with this, and without Ruby here to save her, she’s sure she’s going to blow their cover. “I just... misunderstood.” She swallows. “Like I said, I haven’t had enough caffeine today.”

“Clearly.”

Emma clears her throat and starts walking away from the door. “So that wine sounded really good.” She hates wine. Unfortunately, though, she’s noticed that Ruby enjoys it just as much as Regina.

“Yes, it does.”  Regina stops at the foot of the stairs.  “Why don’t you open a bottle and I’ll go slip into something a little less severe?”  She starts up the stairs.  “That red we had with dinner the other night was lovely.  Open a bottle of that.”

Emma feels her heart accelerate.  “Uh...which one was that again?” she calls after Regina.  

“You chose it, dear,” Regina calls back.  

“Shit,” Emma mutters.  She knows nothing about wine.  Making her way to the kitchen, she locates the wine rack and starts yanking bottles out.  Great; they’re all red.  Think, Emma tells herself, you’re the sheriff.   She looks around the kitchen for anything that might give her a clue.  Her eyes land on the recycling box and she grins.  Before she knows what’s happening, she’s across the kitchen, feeling slightly dizzy.  Ruby’s body can really move.  Glancing at the door, she realises she can hear Regina moving around upstairs.  She can even hear her humming gently.  She’s got time.  Opening the box, she finds two empty wine bottles.  Checking the labels, she finds they’re both red, but at least it cuts down her margin of error.  Replacing the lid, she zooms back to the rack and finds a bottle that matches one of the empty ones.  

Ruby’s speed comes in handy when she needs to check practically every drawer to find a corkscrew and every cupboard to locate glasses.  Regina has just started to descend the stairs when Emma slows herself down, reaching up for two elegant wine glasses.  Regina appears in the doorway, wearing jeans and a v-neck t-shirt and looking more casual and relaxed than Emma has ever seen her.  She hears the sound of glass breaking an instant before there’s a biting pain in both of her hands.  Looking down the wine glasses have been crushed to dust. “Shit!”

“Ruby!” Regina is by her side in an instant, hands gentle around her wrists as she inspects her hands. “Are you okay?”

Emma is still looking down at her hands. There are a few nicks, but it’s nothing serious. “I’m okay,” she tells Regina, feeling uncomfortable with this level of concern coming from someone who seemingly can’t stand to be around her for more than five minutes. “I… don’t know how that happened. I’m so sorry.”

“Hush. You just must have been a little over-excited.” She runs her fingers over Emma’s hands, seemingly checking to see if there’s any glass stuck. She waves her hand over Emma’s. The tiny shards that lay in the middle of her palms disappear as do the cuts and the dots of blood. She kisses her cheek and smiles. “All better.”

“Whoa!” Emma breathes. “I wanna learn that,” she murmurs.  Seeing Regina be caring isn’t new; she’s seen it with Henry and, to a lesser degree, Ruby.  But to have such tenderness directed at her has made her completely forget about the situation.  Regina’s frown brings her back to reality.

“Excuse me?” Regina says.  “You’ve never expressed an interest in learning magic before.”  The soft hands leave Emma’s skin and she’s almost sad to have that connection broken.  

“No, I know, I just...you know, with Emma talking about lessons and stuff I just...I was interested,” she pauses, bites her lip, chances a look at Regina.  “And in awe of your power, I guess.”

Regina raises an eyebrow, but a smile tugs at the side of her mouth.  “In awe of my power?” she questions.  She moves around so that she’s in front of Emma, leaning back against the sink.  “That’s a new one.  And I don’t think it was my awesome power that made you crush those glasses.”  Her voice has become lower, more intimate.  Emma feels panic begin to trickle into her stomach again.  It worsens when Regina’s hands land on her hips and tug.   “I think that had more to do with my outfit.”

Emma has a brief moment of relief that her reaction to Regina wasn’t too out of the ordinary, it seems.  She sends silent thanks to whoever is listening that Ruby apparently turns into an idiot whenever Regina wears jeans.  

“Uh, yeah,” she admits, feeling her face heat up.  She rubs the back of her neck, unsure of what to do with her hands, though she’s sure Ruby wouldn’t approve of her putting them anywhere on Regina.  “You look...very pretty.”  That seems safe.

“Well, aren’t you coy this evening?” Regina asks, her fingers making their way through the belt-loops on Ruby’s jeans.  “I’m a little surprised I haven’t been pressed against the nearest firm surface by now.”

Emma is very close to spilling everything at this particular point. She should have listened to Ruby, because now she is being propositioned by Regina in the middle of her kitchen and this is all kinds of wrong. She pulls herself together enough to bring an arm down to pat Regina on the shoulder stiffly. “I thought you said you had a long day and you were tired,” she starts. “I was just respecting that.”

Regina rolls her eyes and smirks. “I just wasn’t up to dealing with Emma and her infuriating ways.” Her hands have slid downwards and have come to rest on Emma’s backside.

That, coupled with the words out of Regina’s mouth is enough to have Emma jerking out of Regina’s arms. She heads back to the cupboard to pull out two more glasses. “I-I’m sure she’s not that bad.”

Regina scoffs at that. “She’s exhausting. Like a newborn fawn, always stumbling around, unable to control her faculties.”

Careful not to crush the glasses in her hands again, she places them on the counter, her heart racing at Regina’s words.  Is that really how she sees her after all this time?  She keeps her back to the other woman as she tries to come up with what Ruby would say in response, or what she hopes Ruby would say in response.

“She’s my friend, Regina,” she says, trying to keep her voice even.  “I think you’re being a little unfair.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” Regina asks.  “You’re not the one who has to constantly keep her in check when she wants to go around casting spells and making potions that are well beyond her abilities.  Since she arrived in Storybrooke she’s been told she’s the saviour and that makes her think she’s infallible.  Without me, she’d have killed herself by now, so forgive me if I wanted an evening away from that.”

Emma’s eyes sting with tears, so she doesn’t turn around.  Regina sighs and she hears bare feet padding out of the kitchen.  “Shit,” she whispers, not for the first time this evening.  She better do some damage control here or Ruby might feel the effects of this tomorrow.  She locates the bottle of wine she discarded earlier and fills both glasses.  She steels herself for the cold shoulder, and heads through to the living room, a glass in each hand.

Regina barely spares Emma a glance as she comes into the living room and sets Regina’s glass down in front of her. Emma is sure to keep a reasonable distance from Regina, but chooses to sit on the same couch so as not to appear any more suspicious than she already has been. “I get your frustration,” she begins. “But you’ve got to at least hand it to her - she’s eager to learn. And while she may be insufferable, she still is my friend. And considering she didn’t want this life, it’s got to be a plus that she’s started to embrace this side of it now.” When Regina is still unforthcoming, she adds, “I will defend her to you in that same way I would, and have, defended you to her.” The words surprise her, but they’re not lies. Ruby has defended Regina countless times when Emma has complained about her - earlier tonight in fact.  Guilt creeps in to replace the indignant hurt she’d felt when Regina starting speaking about her.

“I know, dear,” Regina says with a sigh, leaning forward to pick up her glass.  “It’s one of the reasons I love you.  But, occasionally, I wish you’d just agree with me.”

“I’m...sorry?” Emma says.  

“No, don’t be,” Regina says, shaking her head.  “I don’t want a sycophant.  I want you.”  She stretches out a leg from where it had been curled underneath her and pokes Ruby’s thigh with her toe.  “I’m happy with you just as you are.”

Emma almost chokes on her first mouthful of wine.  Not just because it tastes vile, but because Regina’s words are, in context, pretty funny.  She swallows the horrid liquid and tries not to grimace.  Regina inclines her head.  

“Now, if we’re done with Ms Swan for the evening, why don’t you come over here?”  She lifts an arm in invitation.

Ruby’s words echo in Emma’s head; don’t go anywhere near Regina. But what is she supposed to do? If she refuses, Regina will assume ‘Ruby’ is pissed off. And when they switch bodies, Ruby isn’t going to know what in the hell happened. She’s supposed to be finding out a way to fix this mess they’re in. She steels herself and shuffles a little closer, walking her fingers up Regina’s arms - struck with an idea. “Why don’t you show me that big book of spells I’ve seen lurking around.”

Regina’s smile falls into a frown.  “Whatever for?” she asks.  “I thought we’d agreed on a relaxing evening?  You’ve picked a strange time to develop a sudden interest in magic.”  She lets her arm drop to her side.

Emma swallows. “I… am just interested in learning more about what makes you you. I mean… that healing thing was pretty cool. And...well... it can still be a relaxing evening. We’re just gonna thumb through the pages of your book.”

Regina’s expression shifts to something Emma’s never seen before and it worries her.  “You’d rather spend the evening reading than doing...oh, I don’t know…” She raises an eyebrow.  “What we did on Saturday night?”

Emma gulps. She has no idea what they did on Saturday night, but she could hazard a guess. “Well, I mean… that just doesn’t sound very relaxing at all. That’s… That’s a little bit more exertion than I thought you wanted…”

“Playing Trivial Pursuit is considered physically taxing now, is it?” Regina asks, her face becoming more and more unreadable.

Shit. “Mentally taxing, yes. Which is just as bad as physically taxing. I would know. I have to deal with snooty customers all day.”

“Of course, because being the Mayor of the town, I wouldn’t know anything about stress, would I?” Regina agrees, turning to look more closely at Emma.  She reaches out and runs a finger along Emma’s collar bone.  “I don’t think either of us wants to read a spellbook tonight, do we?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper, but it manages to lift every hair on the back of Emma’s neck.

Emma lets out a squeak and tries to move out of Regina’s reach, but she has somehow managed to become trapped between Regina and the arm of the couch. Her breaths are coming short and she’s sure that this looks like a positive thing to Regina, with all signs pointing to ‘yes’, but good God this is not okay. “Yes,” she manages to say. “Yes. I do. I really, really do.”

Eyes drifting to Emma’s lips, Regina pouts.  “I can show you some magic,  if you just relax a little.”  Her hand slides up Emma’s thigh.

Emma squeals again and lays her hand on top of Regina’s firmly, halting its progress. “I… am really tired. H-how about we just cuddle?”

Extracting her hand from underneath Emma’s, Regina uses it to cup her chin.  “Since when do you get tired?”  She strokes a thumb over Ruby’s jaw.  “You’re my big, bad wolf.”

Emma’s breathing starts to calm a little. This is all going very downhill very fast, and she’s wondering how in the hell Regina hasn’t suspected anything. “It just… hit me like a ton of bricks. And… and I know you’re tired - I mean you look tired, are you tired? Because, I mean, you said you were tired.”

“As we established, that was to get rid of our visitor,” Regina says, her eyes still on Emma’s lips.  “I’m not tired,” she whispers.

Emma’s eyes go wide as Regina’s head starts moving forward and she flies off the couch. Regina falls forward, but braces herself to stop herself from falling flat on her face. “I have to go to the bathroom.” She doesn’t wait for any kind of response to come from the other woman before she bolts upstairs, reaching for Ruby’s cellphone from her back pocket.  She screeches to a halt as Regina appears in a puff of purple smoke at the top of the staircase, leaning casually against the rail.

“There are two bathrooms downstairs,” she says, inspecting her nails.  “Why is it you felt the need to leave my embrace to come up here, Ruby?”  She nods to the phone in Emma’s hand.  “Who are you calling?”

“No-one,” her reply comes instinctually. She fakes a sheepish laugh. “I thought I felt it vibrating. And I… I guess you busted me, because I wasn’t really going to use the bathroom.” Emma should be used to thinking on her toes, but being face to face with Regina in this setting has made her incredibly uneasy. “I…you changed into something that drives me w-wild.” She forces herself to place a hand on Regina’s hip. “I wanted to return the favour…”

Regina takes the hand that’s on her hip and links their fingers together.  “Well, since we’re both up here now, we might as well adjourn to the bedroom.”

Emma's grip tightens on Regina's hand out of fear and when she speaks, damnit if her voice doesn't come out shaky as hell. "I, uh, I want to surprise you. Something real nice." Please Regina, she pleads to herself. Let me go.

Slowing her walking speed before turning to face Emma, Regina tilts her head and smiles.  “It’s always special with you, dear.”

“That’s… incredibly… sweet,” Emma manages to choke out, unsure of how long she can keep up this back and forth before Regina figures that something is up. “But let me do this swe-Regina.” She tries her best to put on a look that she hopes is seductive, and prays Regina finds her voice sultry. “You won’t regret it.”

Bringing a hand up to stroke Emma’s cheek, Regina smiles.  “I’m sure I won’t,” she murmurs, her fingers gripping Emma’s chin lightly, pulling her in for a kiss.

Emma barely has time to turn her head to the side so Regina’s lips catch her cheek instead. She places her hands on Regina’s shoulders. “So,” she says, drawing out the word, “I’ll see you in a minute?”

Eyeing the other woman closely, Regina purses her lips.  “The way you’re acting, Ruby, I’m slightly worried you’ll have escaped through the window by the time I join you.”

Emma lets out a high pitched laugh, that is very obviously fake. “That’s funny. You’re funny. I would totally not do that to you.” Though that is a good idea. “Why would I when you’re so amazingly funny?” She feels herself being pulled flush against Regina.

“I hope you see me as more than just ‘funny’, dear.”

“Hilarious?” Emma asks, and then gulps.

Regina’s arms are tight around Emma’s waist, her face dangerously close.  “What else?” she whispers, looking up at Emma.

Emma tries desperately to think of something that sounds like Ruby.  How does Ruby sound?  Effortlessly cool and always sincere.  How does Ruby sound when she speaks to Regina?  Like she can’t believe how much she loves this woman and she gets to express it every day.  Yes, that’s what Emma needs to aim for.  “I, uh, really like your boobs.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Regina says with a smirk.  “Now kiss me.”

“Huh?!”

“Kiss. Me.” A challenging eyebrow is raised.

“Oh,” Emma squeaks. “So we’re still on that, huh?” She swallows and nods slightly. “Okay…” Heart pounding in her chest, Emma moves to place a quick kiss on Regina’s cheek. She offers her a smile. “Well, that was nice.”

“I can think of something nicer,” Regina says, catching Emma’s chin again and swooping in before she can protest to plant a kiss on her lips.

Emma goes rigid, her eyes wide and she squeals, though the sound is muffled by Regina’s lips on her own. Ruby is going to kill her. Emma has to be into this because Ruby would be, but she knows that this is all kinds of wrong on so many levels. She pushes Regina away almost forcefully. “I-I-I… I can’t do this. Regina, please don’t be mad, even though I totally know you’re going to be, but it wasn’t Ruby’s fault. It was all mine. I did it, I convinced her to go along with it so that I could come up with a way to fix it.” She swallows. “It’s me. It’s Emma… In Ruby’s body. And Ruby is in mine.”

Regina’s face is neutral for a moment.  And then she laughs.  Emma is startled by the noise, and physically takes a step backwards.  Regina shakes her head.  “Well, you lasted longer than I expected, Ms Swan, I’ll give you that.”

Emma stares at Regina through wide eyes and her mouth hangs open as she tries to catch up with Regina’s words. “Huh?”

“Did you really think you were fooling me with your ‘Ruby’ act?” Regina asks, crossing her arms.  “I knew something had happened the minute I entered the basement.  And, the way the two of you were acting, it didn’t take long to figure out what had happened.”  She raises an eyebrow.  “I just wanted to see how far you’d take it.”

“How far I’d take it?” Emma practically screams. “You were throwing yourself at me!” Then she frowns. “You said horrible things about me, knowing the entire time that I was me…”

Regina only shrugs at this and smirks. “Well, I had to play my part, Ms Swan.”

“Your pa-”  Emma puts a hand on her chest, feeling her heart hammering.  “God, Regina, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.  Or that Ruby was gonna kill me.  Either way, I thought I was gonna die.”

“So that’s a win-win for me,” Regina deadpans.

Emma barely pays any attention to what Regina is saying.  “I cannot believe you put me through that when you knew the whole time.”

“It’s no more that you deserve for meddling with magic you do not understand,” Regina tells her.  “There is a reason I don’t want you to play around with your powers without my supervision, and this is an excellent example of the consequences.”  She shakes her head.  “I’m more shocked that Ruby went along with the whole thing, if I’m honest.”

“She knew you’d be pissed.”

“She was right,” Regina says.  “She should also know that I’ll be even more ‘pissed’ that she went along with your elaborate charade to hide it from me.”

“I just wanted to show her how far I’d come along,” Emma protests, knowing that this mistake does nothing to help prove this.

“Well, I do believe you’ve succeeded in doing exactly that,” Regina confirms.  

Emma hangs her head, Ruby’s hair hiding her expression from Regina.  “I’m sorry,” she mumbles.

“Yes, well, I hope you’ve learned from this,” Regina scolds.  “Thankfully this is something easy to fix.  The next time, it might not be so easily resolved.”

Emma nods and reaches into her back pocket to get Ruby’s phone.  “I’ll call Ruby and we can put everything right.”   Regina puts a hand on the hand that’s holding the phone.

“Let’s not call Ruby just yet, dear,” she says.  “I was quite serious when I said I’d think of a suitable punishment for her.  I believe a night wondering what’s going on over here will do nicely.”

Emma takes two steps back, looking Regina up and down. “I’m not sleeping with you.”

Regina throws her head back and laughs. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ms Swan. One kiss and you think I’m ready to throw myself at your feet?” She shakes her head. “No. If Ruby was willing to go along with this, then she can go along with it.” Regina disappears into hers and Ruby’s bedroom before Emma can say anything, leaving her alone in the hallway and shuffling her feet. When she comes back, she has a pillow and a blanket in her hands and forces them into Emma’s arms. “For you. You’re on the couch.”

“Seriously?” Emma asks, looking at the contents of her arms.  “This is a mansion.  You must have at least three spare bedrooms.  And you’re making me sleep on the couch?”

Regina bestows a dazzling smile on her.  “Enjoy!” She plucks the cellphone out of Emma’s hand and disappears back into her bedroom.  “Sweet dreams, Ms Swan.”

---

A hand waving in front of her face is what brings Ruby back to reality. “Mom?” Henry starts snapping his fingers in front of Ruby’s face. She blinks. “Mom!” Right. She’s his mother.

“Sorry dude,” she says, shaking her head. “What’s up?”

He appraises her briefly, the lines on his forehead making him look more like Emma than usual.  “You’ve been acting weird since you got back from my mom’s house.  Are you sure nothing happened over there that you’re just not telling me about?”

“Depends on your definition of ‘weird’,” Ruby mutters without thinking.  She catches herself before Henry can ask another question.  “Nothing weirder than what usually happens at your mom’s house.”

“Really?” Henry presses.  “Because you’ve never called me ‘dude’ in my life.” Ruby grits Emma’s teeth. ‘Dude’ is definitely a Ruby-ism. Henry continues talking. "And you took me for ice cream. The only time anyone ever takes me for ice cream is when they have something to tell me.  Usually it’s something bad."

"Or maybe I took you for ice cream because I wanted some Rocky Road?" Ruby counters with a raised brow.

“You haven’t been near the ice-cream place since that whole thing with the Snow Queen.”

“Right,” Ruby says, drawing the word out to give herself some thinking time.  “Well, I guess I just want to let bygones be bygones.”

“Really?” Henry says, clearly not believing her.  

“Really,” she confirms, hoping that Emma isn’t going to completely contradict this.  “There are enough feuds and grudges in this town to last a couple of lifetimes.  We don’t need another.”

“Whatever,” Henry says, thrusting a piece of paper and a pen at her.  “I need you to sign my permission slip for biology class.”

“Permission to do what?” Ruby asks, glancing over the print to make sure she’s not agreeing to anything that Emma and Regina wouldn’t.

“To go to the woods and find bugs and leaves and stuff,” Henry tells her, watching her carefully as she picks up the pen.  

Just as she applies the pen to paper, she realises she has no idea how Emma signs her name.  And there’s something weird about the way she’s holding the pen, like it’s really uncomfortable in this body.  She looks down and realises she’s picked it up with her left hand, which is second nature to her.  But Emma is right-handed; something her eagle-eyed son will no doubt have picked up on.  She attempts a laugh.

“Wow, I must be really tired,” she says, changing the pen to the other hand without looking him in the eye. “I...uh...are you sure you don’t want Regina to sign this?”

Henry stares at Ruby, unwavering. “You’re here now… Besides, this needed to be handed in, like, on Friday. So…” The two stare at each other to see who is going to break first, and Ruby sighs. Signing with her right hand feels awkward but right at the same time. She hands the slip back to Henry who looks at it funny. “Are you having a stroke?”

Ruby looks down at the scrawled name that contains some letters vaguely resembling an E and an S.  She bites her lip.  “I, uh, hurt my hand today at work,” she says, flexing her fingers and wincing.

“Doing what?” Henry asks.

“I...uh...punching bad guys?” Ruby suggests.  Henry looks sceptical.

“So, first you’re tired, and now you have a busted hand?”

Ruby bites Emma’s bottom lip and regards the teenager. “You’re not buying any of this are you?”

“Nope. So how long have you and Emma been in each other’s bodies?”

Ruby sighs and shakes her head.  “Since she came over earlier this evening,” she says, glad to let it out.  “Feels like a lot longer.”  She turns a curious gaze on him.  “How did you figure it out?”

“It was pretty easy, Ruby,” he tells her.  “I live with both of you.  It’d be kinda sad if I couldn’t tell you apart.”

That’s true.  And, if she’s honest, it’s what’s bothering her most about this whole thing.  If Regina doesn’t notice that she’s spending the evening with Emma instead of Ruby, it’ll hurt.  Probably more than the actual punishment she’s sure to receive for going along with the whole thing.

“I guess so,” Ruby agrees, morosely.  “And normally I wouldn’t encourage you to lie to your mother, but this is all your other mother’s idea, so it’s not my fault.”

Henry laughs.  “Oh man, I just realised Emma’s over at my mom’s pretending to be you!”

Ruby only frowns at this. “I’d really like to try not to think about that.”

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that epic failure! I wonder if mom’s noticed.”

“Well it doesn’t seem she has, since I haven’t had a phone call from her to yell at me.” Her frown deepens as she thinks of Regina being affectionate towards Emma instead of her and her blood boils.

“Why don’t you just tell her if this bothers you so much?” Damn kid is incredibly perceptive.

“Because Emma is desperate to show your mother that she can fix this one herself. Regina can’t know, dude, you need to keep quiet about this.”

Smirking, Henry nods his head. “Operation: Freaky Friday. Cool.”

“It’s not an operation and it’s not cool,” Ruby tells him.  “And if it’s not fixed by tomorrow night, I’m telling Regina.”  

“How’s Emma going to fix it without her magic?” Henry asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Emma’s made from magic, right?” he explains.  “You don’t have magic.  So if she’s in your body, she won’t have her magic.  So you’ll have to fix it.”

Ruby lets her head fall into her hands.  “God, this day keeps getting worse.”  As if on cue, Emma’s cellphone beeps in her pocket.  She sighs and pulls it out, hoping it’s not some soppy love text from Hook.  Her eyes widen when she sees the content of the message which has been sent from her own phone.

Regina’s being very persistent.  What do I do?

Ruby’s grip tightens on Emma’s cellphone and is surprised that it remains in one piece. Then she remembers she doesn’t have her superhuman abilities. She sighs and starts typing a message back. Tell her u have a damn headache and then get back to that potion or I am taking clippers to ur head!! Tonight!!

“You’re gonna shave my mom’s head?” Henry lets out.

“Hey!” Ruby snaps, holding the phone to her chest. The last thing Henry needs to know is that Regina is trying to seduce Emma as Ruby. “Don’t read over my shoulder.”

Henry tilts his head to the side in contemplation.  “You know...that didn’t really sound like Emma.”

“What didn’t?” Ruby asks, still hiding the screen.

“That text she sent you,” Henry says.  “Emma shortens things and uses emojis a lot.”

Ruby looks back down at the original text.  He’s right.  It’s very formal and uses punctuation.  The only person she knows who texts like that is…

“Oh my God,” Ruby gasps.  “You think your mom’s onto us?”

“Without a doubt.”

Ruby is unsure how it’s possible, but she feels relief and dread go through her at exactly the same time. “Crap.”  A grudging respect for Regina is also present; she sure knows how to push Ruby’s buttons.  Another text comes through.

Don’t cut my hair; I’ll look even more like my mother.  

A semi-colon.  Definitely Regina.  Ruby grins at Henry.  “Two can play at this game.”

Maybe u should sleep with R. She’ll suspect somethings up if u don’t.  She presses send.

“What did you say?” Henry asks, trying to get a look at the screen, but Ruby hides it against her chest again.

“None of your beeswax,” she tells him.  “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“I don’t have a bedtime over here,” Henry says, his lips twitching at the edges.

“Nice try, buddy,” Ruby tells him.  “Bed.”

“Fine,” he huffs.  “But I want an update at breakfast.”

She shakes her head as he closes the door behind him.  The phone beeps, signalling Regina’s response.  One single word: What?  Ruby smiles.

Itll be 2 weird if u dont wanna sleep with her so u should just do it. u won’t hate it.  she’s pretty good.

She holds her breath after she presses send this time and, just as she suspects, the response comes before she feels the need to breathe again.  

PRETTY GOOD?

Ruby smirks, but before has a chance to respond, another text comes through.

Sorry. Capslock. Pretty good?

Ruby shakes her head.  She can picture Regina’s face perfectly.

yep. i know i told u to stay away from her but i feel bad for her cuz she can’t get enough of me and i don’t want her to get frustrated.

There’s a short pause and she imagines Regina staring at the phone, maybe huffing indignantly.

I never realised how big headed you are.

Biting her lip, Ruby types a quick response.

not big headed. just confident. have u seen me?

A thought occurs to her; Emma may have seen more of her than she’s comfortable with by now.

You’re insufferable.

Another Regina word.

And u need 2 stop trying 2 make me jealous, Your Majesty. She hits ‘send’ and it’s approximately three seconds before the phone starts ringing in Ruby’s hand. She smirks. “Yes?”

“Figured me out, huh?”

“Wasn’t that hard,” Ruby tells her. “If you’d gone through my text history with Emma, you’d have seen that she doesn’t type in full sentences. Ever.”

“I don’t think you get to sass me, Ruby… Or should I be calling you Emma?”

“I dunno,” Ruby says.  “Would you like to call me Emma?”

“I can think of a few things I’d like to call you right at this moment,” Regina tells her.  “Emma isn’t one of them.”

“I’m sorry,” Ruby says.  “I should never have gone along with this.  I should’ve told you as soon as you came home.”

“Yes,” Regina agrees. “You should have. I’m also almost offended that you thought I wouldn’t notice that some other woman had taken your place.”

“I’m sorry,” Ruby repeats, feeling her guilt grow. She’s sure Regina knows her better than she knows herself. How she thought they’d get away with this is beyond her now.

“You will be. You gave Ms Swan twenty-four hours to figure this out. Have fun walking a mile in her shoes.”

Ruby freezes. “What?”

“Did I stutter?”

“You’re just going to leave us as we are?” she yells into the phone.

“It’s no longer than you would’ve been in each other’s bodies had I not figured it out.” Ruby can hear the nonchalance in Regina’s tone and she knows that her girlfriend is deadly serious about this. “Make sure Henry gets to bed on time. Good night Ru-Ms Swan.” And the line goes dead. Ruby stares at the device with an open mouth.

There’s a knock at her bedroom door and she doesn’t have time to respond before Mary Margaret’s head appears, wearing a concerned frown.

“Is everything okay?” she asks.  “I heard you yelling.  Were you on the phone?”

Emma’s phone is still sitting uselessly in her hand.  “Uh, yeah.  I...I was talking to Regina,” Ruby says.

Mary Margaret’s lips form a thin line.  “I thought you two were getting along better these days?  What were you arguing about?  It’s not Henry is it?  He seems so happy.”

“No, it wasn’t about Henry,” Ruby says.  “She…”  She sighs and throws her legs off the bed, standing up and moving closer to her friend.  “There was a mishap earlier today when Emma came over for her lesson.”

“When...Emma came over?” Mary Margaret’s frown is deepening.  “Honey, you’re Emma.”

Ruby is shaking her head before Mary Margaret’s sentence is even finished. “No. No I look like Emma, and I sound like Emma… But it’s me; Ruby…”

Mary Margaret’s face is the picture of confusion as she tries to wrap her head around what’s been said. “Ruby?”

She waves. “Hi…”

“But...but how...why?”  Mary Margaret stammers, still looking Ruby up and down as if she expects to see something recognisable about the waitress.

“Like I said, a magical mishap,” Ruby says.  “Emma was trying to show me a glamour spell and it didn’t quite work.”  A pause.  “Or it worked too well, I’m not sure which.  Anyway, she doesn’t know how to change it back and Regina’s being awkward so we’re stuck like this until tomorrow night.”

“So...wh-why are you here and she’s at your place?”  Mary Margaret asks.  “And why didn’t you tell us when you came in that you weren’t Emma?”

Ruby sighs.  “I wish I had, but Emma convinced me to keep it quiet and let her figure out how to fix it without having to ask Regina.”  She smiles, sadly.  “That didn’t really work out.”

“And so now Regina knows and -”

“And she’s punishing the both of us by making us stay in these bodies until either Emma figures out a way to end this, or twenty-four hours is up and Regina ends it herself.” She looks up at her best friend. “No offence, Mary Margaret, but I don’t like our chances of Emma getting us out of this one.”

“Well I can’t say I blame Regina’s methods.” Ruby blinks. “If you or Emma had just said something in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this mess, would you?”

Ruby can’t help the amused smirk that crosses her features. “Would this have been the speech you gave to Emma if she was sitting in front of you?”

“A variation on the theme, yes,” Mary Margaret tells her.  “I’d have probably talked about how all magic comes-”

“-with a price.” Ruby finishes the sentence with her.  “Yeah, I already gave her that one this evening.  She’s stubborn and headstrong.”  She raises an eyebrow at her friend.  “Any idea where she gets that from?”

“Her father,” Mary Margaret answers, immediately.  They share a smile.  “So, now that everything’s out in the open, why are you still here?  Wouldn’t you much rather be at home?”

“Me? I would love that. I think Regina has actually kicked me out of the house to teach me a lesson in stupidity.”

Mary Margaret’s eyebrows raise. “Maybe consider it a blessing. I’d hate to think of what poor Emma is going through right now.”

Ruby laughs.  “Well, when I left her she looked like a rabbit in the headlights every time Regina went near her.”  She shakes her head.  “I have no idea how we thought we could get away with this.  No wonder Regina’s pissed.”

“Well,” Mary Margaret begins, reaching out to squeeze Ruby’s arm.  “In my experience, it’s best not to go to bed mad.  Maybe you should go over there and work things out.”  She frowns.  “But, uh, maybe don’t...uh, you know...with my daughter’s body.”

Ruby laughs incredibly loudly at Mary Margaret’s awkwardness over the situation. “I’m sure Regina would stay very far way. And if she even considered it, I would kill her myself. Emma’s body will remain untouched… at least by Regina’s hands.”

Mary Margaret visibly relaxes. “Good. The last thing David needs to hear is that his daughter technically slept with Regina.”

“Nobody needs to hear that,” Ruby says, suppressing a shudder.  “Least of all Emma, I’d guess.”

Mary Margaret raises an eyebrow.  “Well, I don’t know, there was a time when I susp-”

“Just, don’t finish that sentence,” Ruby advises.  She shoves her hands into her back pockets.  “You really think I should go over there?”

“If you stay here, you’ll just worry about what Regina’s thinking,” Mary Margaret tells her.  “And Regina will have more time to stew in her anger.  And we all know what happens when Regina gets too angry.”  She winks.

“Shit gets real,” Ruby finishes. “Do we know if Henry is asleep? He asked me to keep him updated.”

“You told Henry?”

Ruby shrugs. “He figured it out. I guess Emma and I suck at acting.”

“Well he’s still awake,” Mary Margaret tells her through a smile. “But I can tell him what’s happening if you want.”

“No, I’ll do it. Poor kid’s always in the dark and getting second hand information.”

“Yes, as if his maternal situation isn’t complicated enough,” Mary Margaret agrees.  “I’ll leave you to tell Henry.  I’ll go tell David.”  She gives Ruby a warm smile.  “It’s been fun being your mother for an evening.”

Ruby rolls her eyes.  “Whatever, mom,” she says, following Mary Margaret out of the room.  She waits until her friend is on her way downstairs before knocking on Henry’s door.  She waits for the command to come in and finds Henry lying on his bed, reading a comic.  She tilts her head.  “I thought we agreed it was time for bed?”

“I’m in bed,” he says.  “What’s up?”

“You were right,” she tells him.  “Your mother knows everything.”  She rubs the back of her neck.  “And she’s not very pleased about it.”

“Understatement,” Henry sneezes the word into his hand.

“Yeah, well, I’m going over there to see if I can smooth things out instead of leaving it until morning.”

“She wasn’t gonna let you go back home?” he asks in alarm.

Ruby steps further into his room and sits on the edge of the bed. “In her words, it won’t be any longer than it would’ve been had she not known.” She lays a hand on his calf and squeezes. “Me and your mom are fine. She’s just annoyed with me right now, mostly because I lied to her.”

“Especially when she could’ve solved it in, like, five minutes tops.”

Ruby smacks his calf lightly. “Not helping,” she scolds. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what was happening. Mary Margaret knows and is telling David, so you won’t have to worry about keeping it a secret from them.”

“Okay, cool,” he grins.  “Good luck!”

“Thanks,” she says, returning his smile.  “Can I have your key?”

He frowns.  “Why?”

“Because I don’t have mine and there’s a...slight chance your mother won’t answer the door,” she laughs nervously.  “I’d really rather not have to climb through a window.  It’d look terrible if someone caught ‘Emma’ breaking into our house.”

“What’re they gonna do?  Call the cops?”  Nevertheless, Henry gets up and heads to his dresser, selecting the right key and sliding it off his keyring.  He holds it out to Ruby.  “She can’t be too mad at you, right?  I mean, you were only trying to help Emma.”

She takes the key and shoves it into her pocket; hoping she doesn’t need to use it.  “I guess we’ll see,” she says.  “Now, bed.  I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully in my own body.”

Henry shakes his head.  “At least our family is never dull.”

“After this, I’m gonna aim for a prolonged period of dullness,” Ruby tells him, heading out of the door.  “‘Night!”

She jogs downstairs and raises a hand in greeting at David and Mary Margaret.  David looks confused.

“Hey...Ruby,” he says, glancing at his wife, as if wondering if she’s playing a joke on him.

“Hey David,” Ruby says with a grin.  “I’m just gonna head home now and hopefully get your kid back in her body and back over here really soon, okay?”

Mary Margaret nods and David follows suit, still unsure.  Ruby heads for the door.

“Remember what I said!” Mary Margaret calls after her.  “No funny business in that body.”

“Yes, mom,” Ruby calls back.

“What do you mean, ‘funny business’?” Ruby hears David ask.

“Never mind, honey.”

---

Ruby fumbles for the key in her pocket and lifts it to the lock.  Everything she does in this body seems to be really loud and awkward, even simple actions.  Before she can insert the key, the door opens and she’s confronted with the vision of herself brandishing a kitchen knife and screaming really loudly.  Ruby jumps back, almost falling down the porch steps in fright.  

Emma seems to realise that she’s pulled a knife on Ruby and her scream dies off into a quickly strung together sentence. “Whatthehellareyoudoing?”

“The hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing?” Ruby screams back at her. “Put that damn thing away before you hurt somebody!”

“Why are you creeping around breaking into houses in the middle of the night?” Emma says, the knife now dangling by her side as she gestures with her other hand.

“Okay, one; I’m not breaking in, I have a key,” Ruby says, holding up the object in question.  “Two; it’s my own house.  And three, it’s barely eleven o’clock.”  She shakes her head.  “The more pressing question is who the hell did you think you were gonna stab?”

“It...it was more a warning thing,” Emma says, looking at the weapon in her hand.  “Usually I have my gun.”

“For future reference, Em, I’m a werewolf,” Ruby reminds her.  “I don’t need guns or knives.”

“What’s going on down here?” Regina’s voice reaches them and they both turn to watch as she descends the staircase.  Emma surreptitiously hides the knife behind her back.

“Uh,” Emma glances at Ruby.  “Emma decided to come over for another visit.  I was just telling her that you were in bed and probably didn’t want visito-”

“Em, she knows,” Ruby says, unable to stop herself from smiling as Regina approaches.

“Well, I knew she knew, but I didn’t know if you knew that she knew.”

“She does,” Regina tells Emma before looking at Ruby. “And she’s not impressed by your stupidity or your idiocy.”

“Regina-” Emma begins but is silenced by Regina’s hand being held up.

“I don’t want to hear it right now. I would also suggest you put that knife away before you hurt yourself.”

Emma doesn’t need to be told twice, and Ruby watches as she slinks off in the direction of the kitchen to put the knife back where she found it, leaving Ruby standing awkwardly in Emma’s body.

“To what do I owe this pleasure Ms Sw-, oh, sorry, Ruby,” Regina’s smirk shows that her words were not a mistake.

“I don’t want to sleep at Mary Margaret and David’s house knowing that you’re mad at me,” Ruby says, deciding to be candid.  “I want to apologise and explain and do whatever I have to do to make sure I’m where I belong tonight.”

“And where is that?” Regina asks.

Ruby takes a step closer and realises that they’re pretty much the same height right now.  It makes her smile.  “With you,” she whispers.

Regina looks like she’s about to respond, but she turns away and bites her lip, shaking her head.  “I can’t have a serious conversation with you while you look like that,” she says.  “It’s ridiculous.”

“So change us back,” Ruby urges, reaching for Regina’s hand and noting that it feels strange to hold it with Emma’s.  “Change us back and we can talk.”

Regina is looking at their joined hands, linking their fingers together and watching how they fit.  She shakes her head.  “And what will you have learned?  What will she have learned if it’s just all fixed in the flick of a finger?”

Ruby shrugs Emma’s shoulders and squeezes Regina’s hand. “Hopefully it will teach her not to mess around with things she doesn’t fully understand. And I have already learned not to rise to a challenge just because someone calls me ‘whipped’.”

“She called you ‘whipped’?” Regina asks with raised brows. Then she shakes her head. “No, the lesson you will have learned is to never second-guess me.”

“I didn’t se-”

“I told you she couldn’t touch anything without my being there. She calls you whipped and you allow her to do the one thing I told you not to let her do,” Regina reminds her. “I’d say that’s second-guessing at its finest.”

Ruby sighs and looks at the floor before lifting her eyes to meet Regina’s again, looking at her dolefully.  A smile breaks out on Regina’s face, unexpectedly.

“It would appear Ms Swan’s puppydog eyes are significantly less effective than your own, dear,” she says.

“I’m really sorry,” Ruby says, and she means it.  “You’re right, I should have listened to you and not let Emma touch anything magical.  But please switch us back.  This body is too short and weak and you don’t like looking at it.”

“Gee, thanks Rubes,” Emma says, returning to the foyer, she stops walking, her eyes landing on their joined hands.  “Okay, that’s...really fucking weird.”

“No weirder for you than it is for me, Ms Swan.”

Emma  smiles and takes a step closer. “So you’ll change us back?”

“No.”

“Regina!” Ruby whines, pulling her hand out of Regina’s and fixing her with a glare.

“Seriously?” Emma asks.

“I’m deadly serious,” Regina informs them.  “You will never learn that your actions have consequences if someone just fixes all of your mistakes for you.”  She turns to Emma.  “You roll your eyes whenever anyone talks about magic coming with a price, but it’s true and the sooner you take it seriously, the sooner you’ll be able to harness your magic.”  She turns back to include Ruby in her glare.  “You will both sleep on this and in the morning, you, Ms Swan, will find your own solution to this, with my supervision.”

Emma sighs.  “Well, I’m going home.  I’m not sleeping on the couch.”

Ruby raises an eyebrow.  “You were making her sleep on the couch?  We have three spare bedrooms.”

“That’s what I said!”

“And just where do you think you’ll be sleeping tonight, dear?” Regina asks Ruby.

She furrows her brows. “In our bed,” Ruby responds confidently.

“Not in that body, you’re not.”

“Hey!” Emma snaps, glaring at Regina. “Let’s not forget that you kissed me knowing I was me!”

“You did what?” Ruby’s face falls.  “You kissed her?”

Regina rolls her eyes.  “I had to do something,” she explains.  “It was taking far too long for her to cave.  I knew that would do it, considering she nearly hit the ceiling every time I touched her.”

“She would have used tongue if I hadn’t pulled away,” Emma tells Ruby with a nod, folding her arms.

“I can’t believe you kissed someone else,” Ruby says, her eyes glistening with tears.

“Well, I can’t believe that you lied to me about being someone else,” Regina counters, though she does bite her lip when she catches sight of Ruby’s face.

Emma watches the exchange and shakes her head, sighing.  “She lied because she’s a sweet, loyal and understanding friend.  And a wonderful person who wanted to tell you right away but didn’t because I begged her not to.”  She glances at Ruby.  “And there was no tongue.”

Ruby looks between Emma and Regina, a couple of tears escaping from the motion. “No tongue?” she repeats.

“No,” Regina replies with a roll of her eyes but her face is still soft as she speaks. “None. And I had to drink a fair amount of wine to actually go through with it. She looks like you and she sounds like you, but trust me, dear, she isn’t you.” Regina’s face turns into a scowl as she turns to look back at Emma. “And it isn’t something I would have to have done if one of you idiots had just told me the truth.”

“So I’m to blame for you kissing someone who wasn’t me?” Ruby asks, hands on her hips.

“No.” Ruby nods, but Regina continues talking. “Not completely. Your partner-in-crime over there had a hand in it too.” She scrunches her face and shakes her head. “I’m not the one on trial here.” She points a finger over to Emma. “You; go home and read over your books to see if you can come up with a way to finish this. And you -” Regina is pointing at Ruby now. “can choose one of the spare rooms. I don’t want to die of a heart attack tomorrow morning waking up to Ms Swan’s face instead of yours.”

Ruby’s shoulders sag and her head hangs low.  “Okay,” she mumbles.  She lifts her head gives Emma a half smile.  “Good luck finding the solution, Em.  I’m, uh, gonna go change.”  

---

Emma and Regina both watch as the blonde trudges up the stairs.  Emma looks at Regina.  “Okay, I’ll do what I can about fixing this,” she says.  “But do me one favour and close your eyes and give her a hug, okay?  Because she totally ended up with the worst of this deal.  And I really don’t think I can stand seeing myself looking so sad again.  So suck it up, and hug her, got it?”

Regina raises her eyebrow.  “I don’t think you’re in any position to be issuing orders, Ms Swan,” she says.  Her eyes drift down Emma’s body.  “Although...your commanding side is doing delightful things to me.”

Emma closes her eyes.  “I hate you, Regina.”

“The feeling is intensely mutual, Ms Swan.”  Regina stalks to the door and opens it, gesturing for Emma to leave.  “I will deal with Ruby and I’ll see you in the morning.  Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Emma says.  “And...sorry, again.”

Regina makes a non-committal hum as she walks past, she turns to ask some final advice, but is met with the sight of the door closing.  Emma sighs.  It’s going to be a long night.

----

Ruby sits at the vanity in the main guest bedroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Well, actually, she’s staring at Emma’s reflection. She sighs, and briefly considers taking a pair of scissors to the blonde tresses, but can’t actually bring herself to do it. She pulls out a brush instead and starts running it through her hair. She catches the sight of the clock on the wall in the mirror and groans; she has, at least, another eight hours in this body. And that’s only if Emma turns up at 7 a.m - which is highly unlikely. Something Henry said to her back at the loft, about it being up to her, replays itself in her mind and she stands up, ready to leave the room in search of Regina’s spell book. She pulls the door open and startles as Regina is just standing in the doorway, her hand in a fist, halfway to the door. “Regina…”

“Hi. Do you mind if I come in?”

Ruby rolls her eyes.  “Feel free,” she says, sweeping her arm as she stands aside.  The room is hardly ever used and is pristine apart from Emma’s leather jacket slung on the bed.  Regina sits primly on the edge, folding her hands in her lap.  Ruby walks over to her slowly, shoving her hands into her back pockets.

“I really am sorry for not telling you,” Ruby says, again.

“I know you are,” Regina says, with a nod.  “And Emma was right in what she said, about you being a wonderful person.”  Ruby smiles at the description.  “A little too wonderful for your own good, at times.”  The smiles falls.  Regina sighs and stands up, approaching Ruby.  She runs her fingers down her arm until their fingers are linked.  Ruby chances a look into her eyes.

“I’m sorry I kissed her,” Regina confesses.  “It...felt a bit like a game at the time.  Like a competition.  I didn’t quite appreciate how it might make you feel.”

Ruby offers a smile at Regina’s words. She knows Regina wasn’t kissing Emma because she had a burning desire to do so. She did it to prove a point.  Which is so Regina. “If I’m being completely honest, this whole thing could’ve been prevented if I had just said something to you in the first place.”

“Or, you know, if you had just listened to me in the first place,” comes Regina’s retort.

“That too,” Ruby agrees, seeing no need to argue the point. Because it was as simple as that. “Emma wanted so badly to show me how she’d come along… and then this happened and she panicked that you’d never teach her magic again -”

“That still might happen.”

Ruby only rolls her eyes at this. “She wanted to try and fix this herself. To prove herself to you. And I wanted that for her too.”

Regina lifts her hand and it hovers close to Ruby’s cheek before she curls it into a fist, shaking her head.  “Just...let me do something…”  She wiggles her fingers and Ruby sees a flash of purple.  When her eyes adjust, she looks down and finds that she looks like herself again.

“I...I thought you-”

“I haven’t reversed the spell,” Regina is quick to tell her.  “Emma is still in your body and you in hers.”  She looks Ruby over, smiling her approval.  “I just cast another little glamour spell so that you look like yourself again.  It makes it much easier to do this…”  She gently touches Ruby’s cheek, guiding her face into a soft kiss.

Ruby quickly melts into the kiss and lets out a gentle sigh. She missed the feeling of Regina’s lips on her own - not just since the body swap, but since the beginning of the day when Regina kissed her goodbye. She’s just wrapping her arms around Regina’s back when the kiss draws to an end. “So… you’re not mad at me anymore?”

Regina sighs and rubs her thumb just under Ruby’s eye. “I was never mad. More annoyed. And I still am.” She brings her other hand up and guides Ruby’s face in for another kiss. “But I know you. And you are too wonderful for your own good.”

“Usually I’d get embarrassed and disagree with you,” Ruby says.  “But right now, if you want to think I’m wonderful, then that’s okay with me.”  She kisses Regina again.  “And Emma’s really so-” Regina puts a finger over her lips.

“We’ve spoken enough about Emma for one evening, I think,” she says.  She smiles before leaning in to press a chaste kiss against Ruby’s lips.  “Now, I think we should move to our own bedroom, don’t you?”

Ruby presses her lips together before dragging her lower lip between her teeth. “I… would love nothing more than to come to bed with you,” Ruby tells her, already flinching at the raised brow she’s receiving in response to her tone.

“I am sensing a ‘but’, and I’m not sure I like it.”

“I promised Mary Margaret I wouldn’t do anything. You know… with Emma’s… body…”

If possible, Regina’s eyebrow creeps even higher.  “Don’t tell me Snow is concerned about her daughter’s virtue?” she sneers.  “I’m certain that ship sailed a long time ago.”  Her lip curls in distaste.  “And I have no desire whatsoever to do anything with Ms Swan’s body, as you put it.”

Ruby’s brow creases in confusion.   She looks down at herself.  “You just said this was still Emma’s body,” she begins, hesitantly.

“And I have no intention of doing anything with it,” Regina reiterates.  “But are you telling me that you came over here this evening with the intention of sleeping in the spare room?”

“Well, no,” Ruby admits.  “But I kinda hoped you’d have caved and changed us back, so I wouldn’t have to.”

Regina scoffs. “Well that backfired,” she retorts. “The day I ‘cave’ is the day hell freezes over.”

Ruby frowns. “You cave in to me all the time.”

“How often are you in Emma’s body when I cave in to you?”

“Touche,” Ruby mutters.

Sighing, Regina stands from the bed, offering a hand to her girlfriend. “Are you coming?”

Ruby looks at Regina’s hand before reaching out and taking it in her own.  She brings it to her lips and kisses it, looking up at Regina with apologetic eyes.  “How would you feel if she was in bed with Killian right now, with my body?”

There’s a definite shimmer of purple across Regina’s eyes and her grip tightens on Ruby’s fingers.  “I’d…”  She stops and works her jaw.  Ruby bites her lip to stop from smiling, knowing how much effort Regina’s putting into not issuing some colourful threats.  She kisses her hand again, hearing Regina sigh.  

“So do you understand why I can’t?” Ruby asks.

For a moment she thinks Regina’s not going to respond.  But then she rolls her eyes and waves a hand.  The same purple haze from earlier washes over Ruby and she finds herself looking like Emma once more.  She quirks a questioning eyebrow at Regina, who shrugs.

“That makes it an awful lot easier to leave you in here,” she says, by way of explanation.  After a brief hesitation, she tugs on Ruby’s hand, pulling her up and into her arms, pressing a kiss to her cheek.  “Goodnight, Ruby,” Regina whispers.

Ruby wraps her arms around Regina, pulling her close and inhaling the scent of her shampoo, bringing her comfort. “Goodnight, Regina.”

---

“Ruby…” Regina tries again. It’s the second attempt at calling Ruby’s name, only to receive no response. She rolls her eyes and sighs before snapping at the blonde. “Ruby!” The woman startles and stumbles, but regains her balance before she can fall to the floor.

“I can’t wait until I get my wolf abilities back,” Ruby mumbles. She turns her attentions back to Regina, whose hands are hovering over her spellbook. “Yes?”

“You’re either going to wear a hole in the floorboards from all the pacing, or you’re going to trip, fall and break your ankles because clearly, Emma’s body isn’t used to your attire.” She stares pointedly at the pumps Ruby has chosen to wear today. “Come and sit down, dear.”

Ruby sighs, but does as she’s told, taking a seat on the couch next to Regina and kicking the heels off.  “I was just trying to feel a little more like me,” she says.  

“I know,” Regina says, patting the other woman’s thigh.  It’s been a tough morning for Ruby.  Not only has she discovered that Emma’s body doesn’t like the way she takes her coffee, and seems to have an aversion to anything remotely healthy, now Ruby’s footwear is causing problems.

“This is worse than having the wolf under my skin, you know?” Ruby says.  “Around the full moon I can always feel it, just underneath, wanting to come out.  But it’s part of me.  This is like having an alien inside me.”

“I can imagine,” Regina says, glancing at the clock.  It’s almost nine in the morning and she had expected Emma to be over at the crack of dawn.  While she’d wanted to teach them a lesson, she really does feel bad for what Ruby is going through and if the sheriff doesn’t show up soon, Regina will do it herself.

“I swear to god I’m going to cut her hair off if she’s not here in the next twenty minutes.”

Regina laughs and turns bright eyes onto Ruby. “Can I do it?” she asks.

“Sure. We can give her a mullet. Oh! And dye it purple.” Regina feels a little relieved to see Ruby smile, even if it’s only because she’s concocting a scheme she will never follow through on. She knows Ruby too well. Regina however, would absolutely go through with it.

“We both know I’m absolutely capable of doing that. Your friend Snow is a prime example.”

Ruby sighs. “If Emma is anything like her mother, she’d totally make a purple mullet work anyway.” Ruby peers into Regina’s spellbook and skims the page. “These ingredients and equations mean nothing to me.  Have you found anything?”

Regina nods and smooths her hands out over the pages. “I have. This is beyond Emma’s capabilities, but I’ll be there to guide her through this one, this time.”

“How did she do it in the first place?  If it’s beyond her capabilities?” Ruby asks, leaning her head on Regina’s shoulder.

Sighing, Regina shakes her head.  “Ms Swan is a perfect storm of natural magical ability, eagerness to progress and unwillingness to practise.  Her innate magic gives her immense power, but she doesn’t know how to use it and how to harness it.  It makes her...dangerous.  Which is why I try to instill good magical habits in her.  If she learns to be cautious now, it will serve her well in the future when her full power manifests itself.”

“So...she’s kind of like a kid who just got their drivers license trying to drive a racecar?” Ruby asks.

“If that analogy works for you, then yes,” Regina agrees.  “Her power is far greater than mine.  I had some innate magic, but it had to be worked at, cultivated, to turn it into what it is now.”  She closes her eyes when she thinks of what she had gone through.  She swallows down the surge of emotion that accompanies thoughts of her childhood.  “Emma is the opposite.  She has so much power, and not enough training.”

Ruby sighs. “So why in the hell is she meddling with things she doesn’t understand?”

Regina looks at Ruby with raised brows. “Oh, now you want to go there? You couldn’t see my point of view, oh I don’t know, maybe yesterday?”

“She was pretty convincing, Regina.” Ruby’s shoulders have sagged and she’s looking sorry for herself, which makes Regina sigh.

“And I suppose that makes it better,” Regina mumbles. “That she was a good enough actress for you?”

“Emma didn’t do this with the intentions of swapping our bodies, Regina.”

Regina clicks her tongue, silencing Ruby. “Be careful, Ruby. You’re starting to sound like Ms Swan.”

Ruby stands up and walks to the fireplace, keeping her back to Regina.  “Well, I’m sorry that my face, my voice and my presence offends you,” she says, her voice low.  “And I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to stop Emma from casting the damn spell in the first place.  I’m sorry.”

Torn between providing comfort and telling Ruby to get over it, Regina hesitates.  Finally she pushes to her feet and walks over to stand beside Ruby.  Placing a hand at the base of her spine, she catches her eye in the mirror.

“It’s not your fault that your face and voice offend me,” she says, with a hint of a smile.  “And I know you didn’t intend to let her do this.  I even know that Emma  didn’t intend to do this.  I’m just frustrated with her in general.”

Ruby glances to the side.  “I know,” she admits. “Hopefully she’ll have figured something out... Although maybe that's why she hasn't turned up yet."

"Well that wouldn't surprise me," Regina admits. She takes a deep breath, steels herself and places a kiss on the back of Ruby's head. It's odd to see blonde hair looming into her line of vision.

Ruby says nothing, but smiles. "Should I call her?"

Regina opens her mouth to respond, but there’s the sound of a key in the front door and she raises an eyebrow.  “Looks like you might not have to.”

Ruby bites her lip, and Regina knows that in Emma’s body, or her own, this is a sign of nervousness. Instinctively, she reaches for Ruby’s hand and squeezes it, even if it feels different.

“Mom?”

“In here, dear,” Regina calls.  Henry appears in the doorway with a wide grin, his eyes immediately dropping to their joined hands.

“Oh man, that’s weird,” he says, shaking his head.  “Really weird.”

Emma appears just behind him, mirroring his reaction.  Regina’s breath catches when her eyes land on Emma and she closes her eyes, turning away, still unused to her body reacting at the sight of Emma Swan.

“Tell me about it,” Regina mutters. "Have you found anything?"

Emma frowns. "Hello to you too." Regina glares at the Saviour’s response. "No. Not really. The glamour doesn't have a reverse spell, it just wears off. I looked at the ingredients over and over again and thought maybe the polar opposite ingredients might work... But I don't know."

Regina raises her brows, slightly impressed. "That line of thinking isn't so bad, but it wouldn't work. The ingredients you would be using are used for an entirely different potion altogether."  She lets go of Ruby’s hand and moves back to the couch, where her spellbook is sitting.  She gestures for Emma to follow her.

Ruby glances at Henry.  “C’mon dude, let’s go make some breakfast while your moms do their witchy thing.”

“This whole thing is still so weird,” Henry says.

“So you’ve mentioned,” Ruby tells him, grabbing him by the ear, and gently tugging him in the direction of the kitchen.

When they’ve gone, Regina turns to Emma.  “You can’t think about reversing the glamour,” she begins.  “Because the glamour isn’t what you cast.  You’ve successfully cast the glamour before, a number of times, what was different this time?  Think about what you were feeling when you cast it.  Remember, magic is linked to your emotions.”

Emma shrugs. “I was determined,” she tells Regina. “I mean, I wasn’t thinking anything like I wanted be Ru…” She stops and looks at Regina.

“What?” she asks, her heart sinking.

“I might’ve…” Emma swallows. “I might’ve said I wanted to see what it was like to be her…”

“You what?” Regina lets out, standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

“Like that’s a shock!” Emma retorts, standing up with Regina. “I corrected myself anyway.”

“Right. Were you mixing the potion while saying this?”

“Y-yes.”

Regina sighs and sits back down. “That’s as good as a spell, Emma. That’s why you’re in each other’s bodies.”

“Just because I was thinking something?” Emma asks.  “So I can just think stuff now and it happens?”

“You weren’t just thinking it,” Regina corrects.  “You were feeling it.  While you were mixing a potion.”  She sighs and shakes her head.  “I don’t know how many times I’ve talked to you about emotions and magic.  Magic can sense your needs, your desires, and whether you are aware of them or not, they translate through your words and actions into what you are creating.”

“Is that why Ruby dressed the way she did during the curse?” Emma asks.  “Because of your unconscious desires?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Regina snaps, a slight blush appearing on her neck.  “Why did you want to be Ruby?”

Emma shakes her head, her cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t… I… I don’t know.”

“Yes you do,” Regina snaps, not in the mood to play anymore games. “Out with it.”

Emma stares at Regina long and hard, each waiting to see who will waver first, before she plops back down onto the couch next to Regina and sighs. “I… She… Everyone likes her,” she mumbles. “I mean, have you seen her? She’s gorgeous, and she’s cool without even trying to be. She has this great relationship and she… she’s best friends with my mother.” Emma sighs again, and Regina can see the other woman willing herself not to let her tears spill over. “I wasn’t the saviour, and I wasn’t the sheriff. I wasn’t even me.” She glances at Regina. “You kinda liked me a whole lot more when I wasn’t.”

Regina had been completely ready to lambast Emma for whatever reasoning she came up with, but as she listens to the other woman speak, her anger dissipates.  She certainly can’t disagree with anything she’s saying about Ruby; it’s all true.  When she gets to the last part, Regina frowns.

“You wanted to be Ruby because you wanted me to like you?” she asks.  Her eyes widen when she thinks of how ‘like’ could be interpreted.

“Not like that,” Emma hurries to clarify.  “Not like that at all.”  She shrugs.  “Just...I know I get on your nerves and Ruby has this way with you that...I don’t know, you’re nicer with her, you trust her judgment...maybe I thought that might be nice for a while.”  She looks down at her hands, scratching at the side of her thumbnail. She looks up to meet Regina’s eyes, curiosity painted on Ruby’s features.  “How come you were so nice about my hands?  You knew it was me.”

“I’m not a monster, Emma,” Regina says.  “While I was playing my part, I didn’t want you to be hurt because of it.”  As an afterthought, in case she’s being too nice, she adds. “And I’m quite fond of Ruby’s hands as they are.”

“Oh. Well, yeah, of course. Can’t have me marring her body.”

Regina only rolls her eyes. “My trust doesn’t come easy, Emma. It needs to be earned. I think we’ve come a long way from trying to kill each other though… Even if the urge is still there sometimes.” She smirks.

“Yeah, well, Henry would disown us if we killed each other.”

“I’m not going to lie. I like him a hell of a lot more than I like you. So it’s important that he doesn’t disown me.”

Emma smiles and nods and Regina is glad that they’ve reached a point where they can joke about such things, while understanding the truth behind them. “I’m sorry,” Emma says softly.  “For playing around with magic without your supervision.”

Regina nods.  “Good,” she says.  “I will...work on...loosening up a little.”

Twin guffaws of laughter come from the hallway and Regina’s eyes narrow.

“How long have the two of you been listening?” she asks.

“They’ve been there pretty much the whole time,” Emma confides.  “I don’t know how the hell Ruby gets anything done with this super-hearing thing going on.  It’s driving me crazy!”

Ruby and Henry come into the room, looking sheepish.  “Henry suggested we listen to make sure you didn’t come to blows,” she says.

Henry shoots her a look that says ‘dude, way to throw me under a bus’. And Ruby just smiles back at him with a half shrug.

“Well as you can see, we’re both in one piece,” Regina assures them. “Barely.”

“Uh, what was that about my hands?” Ruby asks, looking at Emma.

“Minor accident with some glasses and your super-strength,” Emma says.  She holds her hands up, turning them front to back.  “All better now, courtesy of Regina.”

Ruby nods, looking between the women.  “So...now that we’ve figured out that Emma idolises me...can we fix this?”

Emma only looks slightly relieved by this idea. But mostly she looks mortified  And Regina can only assume it’s because of what Ruby has said. She looks at Regina. “Yes. Please. I would love for this to be over. Do your thing.”

“My thing?” Regina parrots. “I think you mean your thing, Ms Swan. I’m merely watching over you to make sure you don’t screw this one up.”

Emma sighs. “Whatever,” she mumbles.

“Wait,” comes Henry’s voice. “How can Emma be the one doing this when she’s in Ruby’s body? Shouldn’t Ruby, as Emma, be doing the spell stuff?”

Regina smiles at her son’s curiosity, but she shakes her head. “Anyone can throw ingredients together to make a potion. But magic comes from feelings, not just power. And your mother’s feelings got in the way of this potion, which is what caused the body swap.”

“Oh.”

“Ohhhhh,” Emma and Ruby join in, causing Regina to roll her eyes. She could swear that she has had this conversation with both of them more than once.

“And even if that wasn’t the case, either of the two could cast a spell. Ruby is magic,” Regina continues to explain. “Just a different kind of magic.”

Henry nods, and Regina can tell he’s trying to make sense of the information overload. Finally he looks up with bright eyes and a wide grin. “Can I watch?” he asks excitedly.

Regina shakes her head. “You can watch from the top of the basement stairs just like me. If we’re all down there, all four of us could end up in different bodies.”

Henry screws his face up and shakes his head. “No thanks. I’m comfortable in my own skin.”

“The faith you all have in me is astounding,” Emma complains.

“And I’m not sure any of us could cope with being in the body of a teenage boy,” Ruby says, ignoring Emma’s comment.

“No,” Regina agrees.  She rubs a hand briefly over Ruby’s back before placing it on Henry’s shoulder.  “Come on.”  She leads the way to the basement door, stopping when she reaches it and gesturing for Ruby and Emma to continue.  “This is as far as Henry and I go.  We’ll be safe here.”

“Not filling me with confidence, Regina,” Ruby says, as she heads down the stairs.

“Me neither,” Emma murmurs.

“You know what to do, Ms Swan,” Regina says.  “You just have to feel it.”  

Both Ruby and Emma make their way down the stairs. They stop, however, and turn around to glare at Henry as the sounds of him humming the death march fills their ears. He can’t help but laugh, and even Regina is smirking a little. When Ruby turns a glare on her, she nudges Henry gently and shakes her head. They continue down the stairs.

---

“Are you sure that’s the right amount?” Regina calls out.

Ruby watches as Emma takes a deep steadying breath, clearly trying not to lose her temper. This is her third attempt at making the potion. The first two potions had all the right ingredients, according to  Emma, at least. But apparently her proportions of the ingredients were off. The first potion turned blue, just as Emma was about to drink from it. If it hadn’t been for Ruby noticing and knocking it out of Emma’s hand, who knows what the potion would have done. It’s still smouldering in the corner somewhere. And the second potion, once they waited for it to settle, had turned pink - which Emma had taken for a sign she was getting closer.

Ruby notices Emma clenching the herbs tight in her fist before letting them drop in to the mortar. Her frustrations are showing. “Regina. I’m really going to need you to shut up right now.”

Ruby presses her lips together to keep from laughing at Regina’s offended huff.  She leans closer to Emma.  “I like feisty Emma,” she confides in a whisper she’s confident Regina won’t hear, but Emma’s current ears will have no trouble picking up.

“People who are too scared to come down the stairs shouldn’t be shouting instructions,” Emma snits, loud enough for Regina to hear.  “Back seat sorceresses are so annoying.”

“Just make sure you’re careful with the valoroot this time,” Regina calls.  “And hurry up about it.”

Emma rolls her eyes and starts measuring out ingredients carefully, adding them one at a time to her potion.  She holds her breath as she adds the final one and the liquid shimmers silver.  She raises her eyebrows at Ruby,  “That’s right!” It was silver first, it was after a few moments that it turned red.

She lifts the vial and swirls it around a couple of times, her eyes meeting Ruby’s.   “Any final words?” she jokes.

“That’s not funny, Ms Swan,” Regina’s voice answers her.

“I love you, Regina,” Ruby calls out, though she gives Emma a wink.

“Don’t encourage her, Ruby,” Regina retorts.

“What colour is it this time?” Henry calls out.

“Still silver,” Emma responds. “Third time lucky, right?”

“You’d better hope so, Ms Swan. Anything more than that would just be embarrassing”

Emma gulps, but a grin lights up her face when she sees that the potion has turned a bright red.

“Bottoms up!” she says, before tipping the contents down her throat.  They don’t have to wait long before the familiar red cloud billows out and engulfs them.  Emma coughs and Ruby feels unsettled as something passes through her.  Two sets of footsteps clatter down the stairs and, when the cloud clears, Ruby finds herself looking at Emma’s face.  Her worried expression gives way to a beautiful smile as she realises they’re back to normal.  Before anyone knows what’s happening, Ruby has picked Emma up in a crushing hug, and is pressing a chaste, though enthusiastic, kiss to her lips.

She’s released a second later and greeted with a raised eyebrow and folded arms from Regina.  Ruby shrugs.  “You got to do it,” she tells her girlfriend, before moving to sweep her into a far more passionate embrace.

“You kissed my mom?!” Henry lets out, looking between the three women in the basement.  “Ew.”

“Um…” Emma manages.

“Let’s file that under ‘things not to say in front of a thirteen year old’,” Regina suggests with a roll of her eyes. “The abridged version, Henry, is that I didn’t want to let on that I knew. I wanted Emma to think that I thought she was Ruby, to see how long it would take her to tell me what had happened.”

Henry frowns. “You’re all very weird.”

“You’re only just noticing?” Ruby asks, smirking.

Regina squeezes Ruby’s arm and moves out of her embrace, approaching Emma.  “You did well, Emma,” she says, quietly.  “You were able to harness your emotions effectively to reverse the spell.”  She nods with a small smile.  “Quite impressive.”

Emma blushes and ducks her head to hide her pleased smile.  “Thanks,” she mumbles. She lifts her gaze.  “And I’ve learned my lesson,” she confirms.  “No more playing around with stuff I don’t understand.”

“Good,” Regina says.  “I trust that you won’t.  I’m sure your experience last night was traumatising enough for that lesson to hit home.”

“Little bit,” Emma agrees.

“You’re not that bad a kisser, Regina,” Ruby says from where she has Henry in a headlock, rubbing her knuckles into his head.

“Let’s file that under ‘things Henry definitely, absolutely, positively, does not need to know’,” the boy says, once free from Ruby’s grasp. “I can totally get by without knowing my mom’s not that bad a kisser,” he adds with a shudder.

“Agreed,” Regina chips in. “Now, since everyone is back where they belong, Henry and I are going to fix up something to eat, while the two of you clean up your mess.”

“Oh come on, ‘Gina,” Emma tries. “Can’t you just magic it away?”

“Call me that again and I’ll magic you away,” Regina says, coolly.  “To somewhere entirely unpleasant.”

“So you don’t want me to start calling you ‘Gina?” Ruby asks, running a hand down Regina’s arm.  “Kinda has a ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I’m going upstairs,” Henry says.  “I don’t want to listen to anymore of your weirdness.”

“Neither do I,” Regina tells him.  She quickly leans in and kisses Ruby’s cheek.  “I’m glad you have your face back.”

“What, this old thing?” Ruby asks, rubbing a hand over her face before breaking into a grin.  “Yeah, me too.”

“Seconded,” Emma says.

“And thirded,” Henry adds. “But I’m hungry. So mom…” He inclines his head to the staircase and starts up them.

“It appears I’m being summoned,” Regina says. “I’ll call downstairs when lunch is ready.” She places a gentle kiss on Ruby’s lips before turning a half glare on to Emma. “Do not. Mess with. Anything magical.”

Emma raises two fingers. “Scout’s honour. Trust me.”

Regina looks between the two of them for a moment before nodding once and retreating to the staircase. “Be safe. Both of you.” And she disappears up the stairs.

Ruby watches her go and turns to Emma with a smile.  “Well done, Swan,” she says.  “And I didn’t even have to shave your head.”

Emma unconsciously runs a hand through her hair and grins at Ruby.  “Thank you for that,” she says.  “And thank you for everything you did for me.  Going along with it so Regina wouldn’t find out.  I know that was tough on you and I should never have asked you to do it.”

Shrugging, Ruby smiles again.  “I get why you did it,” she admits.  “Regina is kind of intense about the magic stuff.  I understand why you wouldn’t want her to find out you’d screwed something up.”

“Uh, I think you’ll find that I cast a pretty impressive spell,” Emma tells her.

“Yeah,” Ruby clears her throat. “About that...so, you wanted to be me for a while, huh?”

Emma closes her eyes; clearly uncomfortable with Ruby bringing up her earlier conversation with Regina.  But Ruby doesn’t back off.  She feels like it needs to be addressed..  “Not...not consciously,” she begins.  “At least, I don’t think I did.  I just...I wanted to not be me for a while.  You must’ve seemed like a good alternative.”

“I was just there, huh?” Ruby says. “I can’t begin to understand how much life must have sucked for you growing up. But for what it’s worth, Em… your life now, as crazy as it is, it’s pretty good, right? You found your parents, you have your kid, your magic is getting better. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Well that’s hard to do when you’re taller than me,” Emma jokes.

Ruby rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “I’m serious. I know you missed out on a lot,” she admits, soberly. “But you’ll get there. You’re getting there - with everything; magic, your relationship with your son, and your relationship with your parents. Just remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, okay?”

“Storybrooke was,” Emma says with a grin, and Ruby laughs.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” she says.  

“No, I know you’re right, the stuff with my parents and Henry is great,” Emma says, nodding.  “And the magic stuff is...getting better.”  She turns away from Ruby and starts to tidy up the mess she’d made.  “Maybe I wanted someone to look at me the way Regina looks at you.”

Ruby frowns, moving closer to Emma she leans back against the workbench, trying to see her face.  “But...you and Killian…”

“It’s not the same,” Emma says, moving away, her face hidden by her hair.  “I see my parents.  I see you and Regina.  Hell, I see Gold and Belle...and I know what I have with Killian isn’t the same.”  She shrugs.  “It’s like I’m going through the motions with him because it’s expected.  But...it’s not...there.”

Ruby nods as Emma speaks knowing the blonde must trust her immensely to be opening up in this way. “I… Are you… still in love with Neal?” She asks.

“I’ll always love Neal,” Emma discloses with a sad smile. “But I don’t think that’s what’s getting in the way of Killian and me. I think I’m what’s getting in the way of Killian and me.”

“Have you told him any of this?”

Emma shakes her head ‘no’ and sighs. “I’m still trying to get my head around it… so that if it does happen, I’ll know what the hell I’m talking about.” She rubs the back of her neck and turns to Ruby, looking lost. “What do I do, Rubes?”

The wolf smirks, taking an attempt at levity. “Stop living vicariously through other people for a start.”

There’s a half-hearted chuckle from Emma before she asks, “then what?”

“Then try and figure out what’s in your head and talk to him,” Ruby advises. “Just don’t take too long; the longer you take to figure it out -”

“The more I’ll just end up hurting him.”

Ruby nods with a rueful smile. “In the meantime,” she places a hand on Emma’s forearm, “I’m more than happy to be a sounding board for you if you need one.”  She pauses.  “But no more kissing Regina, okay?”

Emma laughs. “Deal,” she says.  “Remind me never to call Regina’s bluff again.  She’s more competitive than I’d realised.”

“You should see her at Monopoly,” Ruby says, helping Emma to finish off putting everything away.  “It’s a bloodbath.”

“You have a good life, Ruby,” Emma says.  “And you know it.”

“I do know it,” Ruby tells her.  “But last night was a reminder of exactly how much I’d miss it if I didn’t have it.  So we all learned a little lesson.”

Emma smiles and dusts her hands off just as footsteps sound on the stairs to the basement. It isn’t long before Regina’s voice is heard saying, “If you’re both finished down here, lunch is ready.”

“We’re done,” Emma tells her.  “Thanks for helping me, Ruby.”

“Anytime,” Ruby tells her as the blonde squeezes her arm as she passes on her way to the stairs.  Ruby turns her gaze on Regina, a contented smile settling over her lips.

“What?” Regina asks, bringing a hand up to skim over her cheeks.  “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, but you’re about to,” Ruby says, before scooping Regina into her arms and kissing her soundly.

When they part, Regina is trying to look stern.  “Honestly, dear, must you use those awful pick-up lines?”

“It’s one of my many skills,” Ruby tells her.  “And I’m just really happy to be myself and be with you.  Is that so bad?”

“It’s not terrible,” Regina admits, pushing Ruby’s hair behind her ears.

“You’re not considering trading me in for a shorter, blonder alternative, are you?” Ruby teases.

“I wouldn’t trade you for the world, Ruby,” Regina says, simply.  And the only response Ruby can think of is to kiss her.  Again and again.