Chapter Text
KALEIDOSCOPE OF ILLUSIONS
Han woke slowly, blinking the foggy sleep from his eyes. Was I drinking last night? he wondered, looking around at the familiar confines of his cabin onboard the Falcon. Except... it wasn't the same, somehow. He slowly sat up and took stock of his surroundings. What's different? Solo mused, trying to sort out the problem. The last thing he remembered was drifting off to sleep, his body spooning the slight form of his wife of twenty years, but Leia wasn't here anymore - somehow she had slipped away without waking him. They were on their way to the Corporate Sector, after dropping off Luke, Mara and Ben. The war with the Vong was finally over, but only after taking a huge toll on the Solo family. Frowning, he looked down at the small bunk. How in stars did this old bunk get put back in here?
The Corellian got up and stared down at his sleepwear. Why am I dressed in these old rags? Leia will kill me if she sees me wearing this old sweatsuit. He made his way to the refresher and splashed cold water on his face. His eyes drifted to the mirror. Han stepped backwards in shock. The face looking back at him was his face, but not the face he remembered from yesterday. Han leaned forward, running his fingers over his unlined face, and through his dark brown, unkempt hair. This is just a really strange dream, he told himself as sweat started to form on his forehead. He put his palm against his head. Maybe I have a fever and I'm hallucinating. He opened the small refresher cabinet. Soap, shaver, pain meds, just the usual items, but what wasn't there concerned Han the most. Leia's things - her perfumes, her toothbrush, her various feminine products that Han pretended never to see.
Heart pounding, Solo hurriedly dressed and rushed out of his cabin. Voices came from the ship's hold. Luke's voice, and someone Han could not place. Why is Luke still onboard? We dropped him off - this just isn't possible! Cautiously, Han made his way into the hold. Luke turned around and flipped up the visor he was using to shield his eyes. For some reason the phrase, "I told you'd I'd outrun those Star Destroyers..." popped into Han's mind, but he didn't say it aloud. Instead, he stuttered..."B...Ben Kenobi? But you're..." A woof interrupted him. Solo spun around, his eyes wide with disbelief. "...dead." The usually unflappable Corellian dropped to the ground as blackness overtook him.
The first thing Solo became aware of was the cold floor against his back. Then he felt his head being cradled by a large hand. When I open my eyes, I'll be back in my bunk with Leia, when I open my eyes, I'll be back in my bunk with Leia... he mentally chanted to himself. Slowly, Han opened his eyes into the brightness of the interior of the ship. His vision cleared. Chewie hovered over him, barking questions in concern.
*Cub, are you all right? You hit your head when you fell, and now you're bleeding!*
Dreams aren't supposed to hurt. But Han couldn't deny the fact that the back of his head was pounding. "Chewie?" he whispered.
*Hold still, I'll carry you to your bunk,* Chewie ordered his friend.
Quickly, Han shoved himself into a seated position. The room spun around for a few seconds, and he tentatively felt the back of his head. It was sticky with blood. "No, don't carry me... it's just a cut. Head wounds always bleed a lot. I'm okay," he lied while thinking, Okay? I'm anything but okay.. I'm having a conversation with my deceased best friend, for kriff's sake!
*You look like you've seen a ghost, and you passed out. That is not okay.* Chewie argued.
"No," Han shook his head and struggled to his feet with the Wookiee's assistance. "I didn't pass out. I... I slipped and fell. Yeah, that's it. I just slipped." He looked over at a very youthful Luke Skywalker and Jedi Ben Kenobi, standing silently behind Luke.
"Why did you think Ben was dead?" Luke said accusingly, as he narrowed his eyes at the smuggler. He turned to the Jedi. "Maybe he ordered the Wookiee to kill you, and Solo was just surprised that his orders weren't carried out."
"What?" Han snapped. "Where did you come up with this Bothan-brained theory? I didn't order Chewie to kill you! How could you even think that, after everything we've been through?"
"Everything we've been through?" Luke snorted. "I hardly know you. The only thing we've been through is escaping from Tatooine!"
Of course, Luke was right, and in a strange way, Han knew it. The situation was so surreal that he suddenly felt dizzy again. Solo put his hand on the wall to steady himself. "I...I need to sit down," he said quietly.
*Let me help you to your cabin. I need to tend that cut on your head.*
Han allowed Chewie to lead him to his cabin, and he sat meekly on the bunk while the Wookiee gently cleaned and dressed the cut on his head. Han watched the tall Wookiee move to the refresher and rinse out a cloth. It occurred to Solo that maybe this was more than just a dream. Maybe he died in his sleep, and this was what the afterlife was like. Or perhaps it was a gift from the Force, one last chance to spend time with his friend, and the next time he fell asleep he'd wake up with Leia, back in the future. If that was the case, then Han decided he wouldn't waste this opportunity. Getting up, he moved next to Chewie and hugged his friend. "It's nice seeing you again, pal," he whispered into the russet fur.
Chewie looked down at his Captain, concern and puzzlement showing in his blue eyes. *Uh, right. It's nice seeing you, too, cub,* he replied as he gently patted Solo on top of his head. *Maybe you should rest for a while. It's been a busy day.*
"Busy?" Han stopped hugging Chewie and looked up at his partner.
*Meeting Skywalker and Kenobi, almost getting killed by Greedo, getting shot at by Stormtroopers, evading Star Destroyers. You do remember all that, right?*
Greedo. Now that was someone Han hadn't thought about for decades. Memories of that day, so long ago, came flooding back. "Sure, I remember."
*Good. You had me worried there for a minute. You get some rest, now.*
The Wookiee watched as Han climbed into his bunk and pulled up the covers before turning to leave the cabin. "Chewie?"
*Yes, Han?*
"I love you, pal."
Chewie left the cabin with a new, and very intense, concern over Han's mental state.
"What's his problem?" Luke questioned Obi-Wan once the Wookiee led the ship's captain away. "Do you think he's drunk? Or just crazy? Maybe he really is trying to kill us."
Obi-Wan sat back down, and stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I don't believe he's drunk, and I don't sense he means to harm us."
"Great. That just leaves crazy," Luke lamented. "I told you we should have bought our own ship."
"We had far too few credits to purchase a ship, Luke," Obi-Wan said calmly.
"Well, I don't feel too secure with a demented person piloting this ship," the young man argued.
Obi-Wan smiled. "Chewbacca seems to be quite stable, and I'll discuss the pilot with him later. In the meantime, you should continue practicing with your lightsaber."
As promised, Obi-Wan sought out the Wookiee co-pilot several hours later. Chewie was sitting in his cabin, cleaning tools and trying not to worry about Han. His human friend had always been slightly off-center, but never to the point that it made Chewie wonder about his sanity. Perhaps someone had put something in his drink while they were in the cantina. There simply had to be some explanation. The Wookiee looked up as the Jedi softly knocked on the frame of the open doorway.
"Chewbacca?" Obi-Wan nodded as he stepped into the small cabin. "How is Captain Solo?"
*I do not know. I have never seen him acting like this before.*
Ben frowned. "Do you think he is suffering from an illness?"
Frustrated, the Wookiee stood up. *I wish I knew. I have never known Han to simply pass out. It is very... strange.*
Putting his hand gently on the Wookiee's forearm, Ben said, "Perhaps he is just stressed, and all he needs is rest."
Chewie nodded in agreement. Having bounty hunters looking for you because of a huge debt to the evil crime lord Jabba could stress anyone. It seemed to be as good an explanation as any, and Chewie could only hope Han would get back to normal quickly. Well, what passed as normal for Han, anyway.
When Han woke from his short nap, he quickly realized things were not back to normal as he'd hoped. It was not a dream that he'd been having, and Leia was still gone. Leia! If she's not here, then...then, she's still on the Death Star! And Alderaan is about to be blown up!
Throwing off the blanket, Han ran into the hold. "The Death Star - we have to stop the Death Star!"
The two human passengers and Chewie, sitting around the game table, only stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.
"What's a Death Star?" Luke finally asked the agitated smuggler.
"It's an Imperial Battle Station, the size of a moon," Han replied breathlessly. "It's about to blow up Alderaan! We have to stop it!"
"There isn't anything that can blow up an entire planet," Luke shot back in disbelief. He turned to the Jedi Kenobi. "We need to lock him up somewhere, before he hurts someone."
"I'm NOT crazy!" Han yelled back at his future brother-in-law, restraining the urge to stomp his foot in frustration. It wouldn't do him any good to start acting like a two-year-old. "The Imperial's are targeting Alderaan to make Leia talk."
Luke Skywalker jumped up and pointed his turned-off lightsaber at Solo, "How do you know anything about Princess Leia? I still think you're an Imperial spy, and you're being paid to deliver us to them!"
Han stepped back nervously from the lightsaber's handle while Chewie roared a warning to the young man.
"Everyone needs to calm down and discuss...," Ben started to say before he put his head in his hands.
"Ben?" Luke turned worriedly to his mentor. "What's the matter?"
"I have felt a disturbance in the Force," he gasped out. "It was like a billion voices cried out and then were suddenly silenced."
"Alderaan," Han said, his face grief-stricken. "It's too late. I'm here too late to help." The Corellian turned and fled the room.
"Can I talk to you?" Obi-Wan asked the smuggler as he stepped into the cockpit, and closed the door behind him.
"I'm not crazy, and I'm not a spy."
Ben sat down in the co-pilot's seat. "I know you're not a spy. But what I don't understand is how you knew what was about to happen to Alderaan...if that is indeed what just happened."
"It's what happened," Han replied hoarsely, staring out at the blur of stars. "And the Death Star will still be there when we come out of hyperspace."
"I'm going to ask you again. How do you know all this? You are not a Jedi, and even if you were, Jedi can't see into the future."
"I can't explain it," Han sighed. "You really would lock me up if I told you the truth."
"The truth creates far less problems than lies."
"I'm not sure that's the case in this instance," Solo answered while thinking, you should talk about telling lies.
"Just try."
"I went to bed last night a fifty-nine year old man with a wife and grown children," Han said carefully, not looking directly at Obi-Wan. It was easier to tell this story without looking into his face and seeing his dubious expression. "And when I woke up this morning, I was twenty-nine years old, and reliving the same thing all over again." Solo turned his chair to face the Jedi. "Now go ahead and tell me I'm lying. Or that I'm crazy."
"You believe what you are telling me," Ben said gently.
Han gave a short laugh. "I can prove it."
"Prove it? How?"
Lowering his voice, Solo leaned toward the Jedi. "Luke Skywalker is the twin brother of Leia Organa. I know who their natural father is. How is that for proof?"
The words took Ben aback. "You have a very good imagination, Captain Solo," Ben quickly said as he tried to recover. Had Chewbacca told his Captain this information? It seemed unlikely, but how else would Solo know this?
"My imagination?" Han snorted as he shook his head negatively. "Why would I possibly imagine that?"
"This conversation is over," Obi-Wan said as he stood up. He simply couldn't believe what he just heard. How many other people knew? How could Chewbacca betray his trust?
"You're not doing Luke any favors, ya know," Han said as Ben turned to leave. "He trusts you, and when he finds out that you lied about his old man, it's not gonna make his life any easier."
The Jedi left the cockpit without a giving a reply, his hands trembling in suppressed fear.
Obi-Wan Kenobi glanced briefly at the tall Wookiee when he re-entered the hold. Once, eighteen years ago, the Wookiee and the Jedi had made a pact - a vow never to betray the trust they had been given by Padme Amidala. Now, apparently, Chewbacca had broken that solemn vow. The question was - why? Did he put his life-debt to Han Solo above that vow? Why would his life-debt to the Corellian ever entail the need to disclose such vital information? And, mostly, why would Captain Solo tell such an outrageous lie after informing the Jedi of his knowledge? It just didn't make any sense, but Obi-Wan often found that life seldom made sense.
*How is Han acting?* Chewie woofed to Ben.
"Perhaps it would be best if you discussed that with Captain Solo," Kenobi replied coolly. "You seem to discuss everything with him, anyway."
Chewie frowned in puzzlement as he left to find Han. Whatever Kenobi was talking about would have to wait. Han's bizarre behavior was getting worse, and Chewie intended to get to the bottom this issue.
"What did Solo say?" Luke asked as he toyed with his cup. "Why does he think Alderaan is gone?"
The Jedi sat down and leaned back, suddenly weary. "I think you were correct, Luke. Captain Solo is definitely unstable. If you find yourself in his company and I'm not around, please ignore anything he says to you."
"Do you think he's dangerous?"
"Perhaps he is."
Nobody is ever gonna believe me. The old man didn't believe me, and he's a Jedi. Luke is always tellin' me that Jedi can sense when someone's lying. Why can't Kenobi tell I'm not lying? Han wondered in despair. He hadn't arrived in time to save Alderaan, so what was the purpose of coming back to this time? Anything he said or did differently could disrupt the entire future, the future he knew. And it hurt him to think that Leia was onboard that Death Star, suffering at the hands of Darth Vader. Luke wouldn't have to beg and bribe him this time around to help rescue her.
*Han?*
"Yeah?"
Chewbacca entered the cockpit and sat down. *Ben Kenobi seems upset. What did you say?*
Don't disrupt the future anymore than you already have, Solo! Han admonished himself. "I don't know why he's upset. I've upset everyone and I'm sorry, pal. It won't happen again, I promise." Whatever happened, from now on he promised to keep his knowledge of future events to himself. Even as he told himself this, Han wondered how long he'd be able to keep that promise.
With Ben Kenobi and Luke Skywalker looking over his shoulder, Han pulled back on the lever and brought the Falcon out of hyperspace and into the debris field of what had been Alderaan.
"Where's Alderaan?" Luke questioned the pilot, still not trusting the pilot.
"We're at the correct coordinates," Han informed a shocked Luke. "This is what's left of the planet."
Chewie gave a startled woof as a TIE fighter swooped past, heading toward a distant moon. Han knew it wasn't a moon; it was the Death Star, and Leia was onboard. "Hang on," Solo told his passengers, "I'm not letting that TIE get back to base." I'm not letting Leia stay onboard that station any longer than I have to.
*I didn't know Alderaan had a moon,* Chewie barked out as the Falcon followed the fighter.
"That's no moon," Obi-Wan answered, barely believing his eyes. Solo had been right after all, it was a Battle Station. How had he known? Was Luke right after all, and Solo was a spy?
"Let the TIE go," Luke said urgently. "We need to get away!"
Han looked down at the control panel, and waited.
"What are you waiting for?" Luke shouted, angry and frustrated at the pilot's inaction.
A few seconds later, a red light started flashing on the console. The Falcon was now caught in the tractor beam of the powerful Death Star, exactly like the first time. Solo made a few maneuvers to make it appear he actually was attempting to disengage the hold of the beam, without any intention of actually doing so. "Sorry, kid, the tractor beam's too strong. I'll have to shut down or I'll fry the engines. But don't think they're gonna get us without a fight." Han wondered if his words sounded as lame to everyone as they did to his own ears.
Solo felt Ben put his hand on his shoulder. "We can't fight them son, but there are always alternatives to fighting."
Death Star, above the remains of Alderaan
Solo removed the stormtrooper helmet and sat down in the small control room near the docking bay, trying to remember the exact sequence of events from his previous time aboard the Station. He turned his attention to the Jedi, who was talking quietly to Luke.
"I will need to turn the power off at the main source of the tractor beam if we are to escape," Ben said softly.
"Let me come with you," Luke pressed. "I can help."
Kenobi turned and looked directly at Solo before answering. "Luke, you should come with me."
"No," Han objected instantly. He could only think about Leia, sitting alone in her cell, and waiting for her execution. He needed Luke's help to pull her out of there. Events couldn't be altered, or he might fail to free the Princess. When the two men stared at him with suspicion, Han desperately tried to explain, "It doesn't take two people to turn off a power source. The kid's too inexperienced, Kenobi. He'll only slow you down."
"What do you know?" Luke snapped at Solo. "I don't trust you as far as I can throw a bantha."
"He's right," Obi-Wan said to Luke. "I can do this faster myself. Stay here and out of trouble."
When the Jedi left the room, Luke grumbled under his breath. "He leaves me alone with a lunatic and tells me to stay out of trouble."
Artoo began warbling, rocking back and forth excitedly, and Luke ran up to the droids. "What's he saying, Threepio?"
"He keeps saying something about finding her, Master Luke," Threepio replied.
Han managed to keep the smile of relief off his face.
Detention block
"It was a stupid conversation, anyway," Han mumbled under his breath as he blasted the control console to pieces. Turning, he called down the corridor, "Luke, hurry it up, we're gonna have company!"
It didn't take very long. Moments later, the lifts opened and stormtroopers poured out of the tubes, forcing Han and Chewie back into the prison hallway. Pressing his body tight against the wall, Han squinted through the haze caused by the blaster bolts hitting the durasteel.
"This is some rescue," a familiar voice said sarcastically. "When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?"
Han nearly dropped his blaster out of sheer happiness. I know I should be saying something annoying right about now, but all I can think about is kissing her and telling her how much I love her. Han couldn't take his eyes off his young, future wife.
The Princess tore her gaze away from the lanky man. Turning to Luke, she grabbed the blaster from his hands and shot a hole in the side of the hallway. "Tell your strange friend to get into the garbage chute when he finds the time to stop gawking at me." With that, she disappeared into the chute.
This time, Han didn't fire at the sealed exit hatch. But that did nothing to prevent the snake-like dianoga from nearly drowning Luke, or the walls from almost crushing them. Fortunately, history faithfully repeated itself, and Threepio and Artoo managed to once again turn off the garbage masher in the nick of time.
"He did it!" the Princess shouted joyfully, returning Solo's embrace. Unable to stop himself, Han bent down and kissed her. Instantly, Leia's face darkened and she pushed him away, barely able to stop herself from slapping his face. "How dare you," Leia snapped. "Whatever type of women you're used to flyboy, I can guarantee that I'm not one of them."
"What type of woman I'm used to?" Han asked, fighting back his old feelings of inferiority. "What type would that be, Princess?"
"I don't think it's necessary to use too much imagination to answer that question," Leia shot back as she pushed past Chewbacca. "And get this walking carpet out of my way."
"That was a fine piece of rescuing, if I do say so myself," Han said as he entered the cockpit, plastering a smile on his face he didn't feel. Watching Obi-Wan Kenobi die a second time hadn't been easy. Solo kept questioning himself, thinking maybe there was something he could've done, some way to change the outcome. The guilt was starting to eat at him.
"They wanted us to escape," Leia declared. "It's the only explanation for the ease of our escape."
Han looked at the determined Princess. I think I argued with her, and told her it wasn't easy. "I agree. Do you want to make a stop, and have me an' Chewie look for a homing beacon?"
Surprised at his quick agreement, the young woman looked up at the tall Corellian. "No. We need to get the Artoo unit to the base. Hopefully, we can find a weakness before the Death Star finds us."
"Yeah, well, I'm only in this for the reward," Han forced himself to say. It felt like he was choking on those hurtful words. "I ain't in this for you or you're Rebellion." No wonder she hated me so much in the beginning. Was I really this crass and money-hungry? he thought to himself.
"Don't worry, if money is all you love, then that is what you shall receive," Leia turned to Luke as she started to leave the cockpit. "I wonder if your friend cares about anything or anybody."
"I care," Luke called to her as she left, then turned and faced the pilot. "What do you think about her, Han?"
I love her, and I'm going to marry her, was the first thing that popped into Han's mind. "She's got a lot of spunk. Do you think a Princess and a guy like me...?"
Luke quickly stood up. "No, I don't." With that, Luke left the cockpit.
Han grinned at the retreating figure, amused at how wrong Luke had been.
*Han?* Chewie stuck his head inside Solo's cabin. *Are you feeling better?*
"Better than what?" Han looked up from his bunk, where he lay on his back staring at the ceiling and thinking about Obi-Wan Kenobi.
*Than before... when you passed out. And started acting so strangely.*
"Chewie, " Han started then stopped. The need to confide in someone was overwhelming, and his earlier vow to keep his knowledge of the future seemed to be fading.
*Yes?*
"Remember when you asked me why Kenobi was so upset?"
The Wookiee nodded.
Han sat up. "I need to tell you why I've been acting so bizarre."
Chewie entered the room and sat on the corner of the cot. *I would appreciate that.*
"I'm from the future, somehow." The look of worry in Chewie's expression made Han rush forward with his story. "I woke up the other day, and I wasn't the same age anymore. I mean, I went to bed fifty-nine and I woke up twenty-nine. Somehow, I was sent back to this time, and I'm reliving this whole thing -the rescue of Leia, and the Death Star, and everything. When I told Ben Kenobi that I could prove it, that I knew Luke and Leia were twins, and that Vader's their father, he got upset and walked away from me. But I'm not making any of this up, pal. I don't know why any of this is happening to me, but I'm not crazy. You do believe me, don't you?" Han finished desperately.
*You know about Luke and Leia? And that Vader is their father? How did you find out?*
"I just told you, I'm reliving all of this. In the future, I'm married to Leia!" Han persisted. Then the way Chewie asked his question made him pause. "Wait a minute..! You already KNOW that Luke and Leia are twins separated at birth? You knew Vader was their father all along?"
*I know, cub, because I was there when they were born.*
Han was startled. "You never told me," he said accusingly. "In all the years we were together, you never told me."
*I made a vow, Han,* Chewie growled softly. *I do not break my vows. Not to you, and not to the mother of Luke and Leia.*
"I need a drink," Han said as he put his head into his hands.
Luke leaned against the corridor wall, shaking with shock. While he only understood half the conversation Solo was having with the Wookiee, it was more than enough. Darth Vader is my FATHER? Leia is my SISTER? Ben, you LIED to me! You told me Vader killed my father! How could you lie about something so important? Carefully, he moved away from the open door of Solo's cabin. Luke didn't think a drink would be sufficient to ease his pain.
Moon of Yavin
Luke listened half-heartedly to the instructions about the reactor shaft. His thoughts were swirling around like a black hole in the depths of space. Indeed, that's exactly how he felt inside, like a black hole sucking all the life around it down into a void. Darth Vader was his father! Ben Kenobi just calmly sat there in that little hut and lied about Vader killing his father. Why, Ben? What purpose did that lie serve? And to think that Leia was his sister! Ben had sat there and watched as Luke mooned over his own sister. You must have thought it was a funny joke, Ben. I'm glad I was able to give you laughs. He wished Han had offered him a chance to leave on the Millennium Falcon but strangely enough, the smuggler had not yet indicated he was leaving. Left without options, Luke had joined the Rebellion.
The Princess stood next to General Dodonna at the front of the room. Her concern for the young man who had rescued her was growing by the hour. He seemed unnaturally depressed over losing Obi-Wan Kenobi, considering the fact he had only known the Jedi for a few days. Maybe the fact that his family had been brutally murdered was just catching up to him now. Certainly, Leia could sympathize with his loss, for she too wanted nothing more than just to curl up in bed and cry. But the Princess knew there was no time for private grief because the Death Star was approaching. Leia's eyes drifted to the back of the room where the Corellian and Wookiee stood. Usually, Leia could size up a person in a few seconds, but Han Solo was an exception. The way he looked at her, like he was seeing through to her very soul, unnerved her. Perhaps, if they survived, she would have the time to figure him out.
The smuggler debated with himself about officially joining the Rebellion. The entire trip to Yavin, he had stayed away from Leia for fear he might say or do something wrong. He didn't want to hear her sarcastic comments when they were directed at him, even though he knew it was Leia's way of dealing with the pain of losing everything she knew. The comments simply hurt too much and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and comfort her about Alderaan, just like he'd spent the past twenty-five years doing. He loved her deeply, but she no longer even knew him, and that was causing Han more grief than he thought possible. He wondered if he should join the Rebellion and fly an X-Wing against the Death Star, but the last thing he wanted to do was tip some cosmic scale and ruin the Rebel's chances in the upcoming fight. Han had no idea the scale had already been tipped.
"So you got your reward, and now you're leaving?" Luke asked, surprised. He'd thought the Corellian decided to stay with Rebellion. Luke approached Han and Chewie as they loaded up boxes of credits wishing the smugglers would offer to take him with them when they left.
"Yeah," Han nodded. "You don't think I'm fool enough to stick around here, do you?"
"They could use a good pilot. Why don't you help them?"
I plan on it, kid. "Going up against the Death Star ain't my idea of courage. It's more like suicide," Han said quietly. For some reason, a chill ran down his spine as he said that comment.
"Well, take care of yourself, Han. But I guess that's what you're best at." Luke started to walk away, head down.
"Luke?"
Luke stopped and turned back. Maybe now Han would ask him to go with when he left Yavin.
"May the Force be with you."
"Thanks." Luke turned and left.
"Luke, I've been hit! I can't hang on," Wedge yelled into his comlink as the X-Wings screamed over the surface of the Death Star.
"Get clear, Wedge. I can handle this," Luke replied calmly. Why did you turn to the Darkside, father? Luke questioned in his mind. I hate the Force. I will never, ever use the Force again.
Carefully avoiding the defensive lasers shooting from the turrets, Luke focused on the targeting computer. The TIE's behind him were getting closer, and any second might be his last. Artoo had already been hit and was no longer functioning.
Suddenly, two of the TIE's exploded, and the third spun away from the tunnel. "You're all clear, kid! Now blow this thing and we can go home!" Han's voice shouted over the comlink as the Wookiee roared encouragement in the background.
Using the targeting computer and shunning the Force, Luke fired his missiles. The bolts bounced harmlessly off the edge of the exhaust port. He'd missed. Pulling up, Luke could see the huge red laser as it shot out from the Death Star. A second later, the Rebel base was gone in a tremendous explosion as the Yavin moon was obliterated.
"NOOO!" Han screamed, pounding his fists on the console. This couldn't be happening! Leia could not be dead! Rage and grief consumed him, scorching his very soul. How did Luke miss? Everything up to that point had gone exactly as the last time. Barely able to comprehend what his eyes were telling him, he looked back at Luke's X-Wing as it flew directly into the range of a defensive cannon. For a brief moment, the X-Wing flared and then the debris rained down on the Death Star.
Both Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa were dead.
Tatooine, four days later.
Chewbacca picked up the empty bottle of Corellian whiskey and tossed it into the recycler. Han hadn't stopped drinking since the deaths of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa. His captain had lost many people in his life, some he'd known for much longer than Luke and Leia. It just didn't make any sense to the Wookiee that Han would have taken these deaths so personally. It certainly wasn't his fault Luke's shot hadn't gone in the exhaust port. Since Solo wasn't passed out in his cabin, Chewie went to the cockpit. Han sat in the seat, staring out at the distant dusty wall that formed the berth where they were parked. At least the Rebel reward money had paid off Jabba the Hutt, and now bounty hunters would not be searching for them.
*You need to sleep,* Chewie said gently, putting a giant paw on Solo's arm. *This is not helping. You cannot bring them back.*
"I failed them," Han mumbled slowly. "I failed everyone - Alderaan, Luke, Ben, the Rebellion and Leia. My Leia. Why was I sent back here, if all I did was make things worse?"
So that was the problem - Han still believed he had been sent back to the past. Chewie shook his head, not knowing what to do. It was apparent to the Wookiee his friend needed the help of a professional, but he knew Han too well. Even making that suggestion would just enrage his long-time friend. *You did not fail them. You did nothing to cause their deaths. Please, Han, you need to rest.*
"I've tried to sleep," Han replied in a low voice. "I can't. My mind keeps replaying the same scene over and over of the Rebel base blowing up. Of Luke's X-Wing being destroyed."
*And it doesn't bring them back. It never will,* Chewie woofed. He reached over and tugged on Han's arm until Solo stood and followed the Wookiee to his cabin. *Go to sleep. Things will get better.*
Han collapsed onto his bunk and shut his eyes. No, things will never get better.
When Han opened his eyes the next morning, he felt disoriented. He staggered into the refresher and washed his face before looking at himself in the mirror. The last thing he had prayed as he fell asleep last night was that he'd wake up beside Leia and everything would be the way it was, before this nightmare started. But he was still twenty-nine. That means Leia is still dead, he thought despondently.
The Corellian dressed in clean clothes and walked into the hold. "Chewie?" No response. There was, however, hot fresh caf brewing, so Han poured a cup and turned on the holovid to watch the current Imperial propaganda. Instead of a fresh faced human cheerfully discussing the latest sports scores, the screen remained dark. Then words appeared - TRY AGAIN. Frowning, Han pressed the on/off button several times. Nothing happened. The strange words refused to leave the screen. Footsteps heading up the ramp of the ship made Han turn his head as Chewbacca appeared, holding a sack of groceries. *We were low on supplies, so I went shopping,* Chewie informed him casually.
"What do you make of that?" Han said with a sweep of his hand toward the holovid display.
*Make of what?*
"Those words..." he started to say as he turned around. The words were gone, replaced by the happy face of a young woman discussing current news events, silently mouthing words as the "mute" symbol flashed in the corner of the screen.
*You have the "mute" button on, Han,* Chewie laughed. *Mute means silent.*
"I know what "mute" means," Han snapped. He turned back to the Wookiee, feeling his skin crawl. "What is the date?"
*The tenth.*
"The tenth of what month? What year?"
Carefully, Chewie set the groceries down. *Are you feeling okay?*
"I'm fine! Just answer me!"
*It is the tenth day of the fourth month, 6032.*
Han sat down on the bench. "Alderaan was destroyed on the twelfth day of the seventh month, 6032," he whispered so softly that Chewie couldn't make out his words. This meant that Leia was not dead. The relief was so intense he felt his throat tighten, and he had to shut his eyes to keep tears of joy from flowing.
*What?*
"Something, or someone, wants me to try again," Han replied to his confused partner. "And this time, I'm not gonna fail."
He had three months this time to make things right. The fateful trip where he'd been forced to dump Jabba's spice had not yet occurred. And most importantly, his last encounter with Bria Tharen had not yet happened, either. The details of Bria's involvement in securing the Death Star plans were sketchy in Han's memory, but he remembered from his days as a General reading classified documents that mentioned her Rebel cell, The Red Hand Squadron was heavily connected to securing the original Death Star plans. Bria's last betrayal had hurt Han deeply at the time. The emotional fallout as a result of her behavior caused most of Solo's initial hostility toward Leia and the Rebellion.
Han was not looking forward to seeing his former lover again. It would be difficult to pretend that everything was fine between them, all the while knowing she was planning to use him and his smuggler friends - people that would no longer consider him a friend after Bria was done with her little plan. This time it would be different, and the outcome of that last encounter would be much, much different. This time, Han planned to be the one using her.
One month later, on Nar Shaddaa
Solo walked into the smoky bar, the place he'd accidentally 'run into' Bria the last time he lived through this. He was determined that the conversation would go differently, and he had no intention of walking away in anger when she offered him a chance to go to Ylesia and steal that treasure, a treasure she had no intention of sharing. He saw her right away, and positioned himself so she could easily see him when she looked up. It didn't take long.
"Han?" Bria said, startled.
Forcing a smile on his face, Solo got up and strolled casually over to her table. "Hello, Bria. Fancy seeing you here."
Bria smiled nervously. "It's been awhile, Han. I'm surprised to see you."
"Really? I do a lot of business on Nar Shaddaa, and this ain't exactly the hangout of high society."
"Will you join me for a drink?"
Solo cleared his throat and sat down. Han couldn't recall the last time he'd slept with Bria, and he certainly had no intention of picking up where he'd left off. Leia's face kept swimming back into his memory, reminding him of what he'd lost, and what he wanted back. His Princess was alive, and he had every intention of finding her and making her fall in love with him again. This was only a means of achieving that goal.
The conversation went according to plan, and Han avoided accusing Bria of selling herself for the Rebels as the mistress of an Imperial Moff. It didn't matter, and Han didn't care. When Bria offered him the chance of the share of a treasure on Ylesia, Han didn't turn her down.
As he stood to leave, Bria quickly pushed herself up and moved to embrace him. Han stepped back, holding her at arm's length. "Um, Bria, " he started out carefully. "I really don't think we should pick up where we left off. It probably would be a good idea to take things slow, ya know? Maybe if we can get to know each other as friends again, things might work out better."
"That sounds like something a woman might say, Han," Bria said with a husky laugh. "Since when did you become mister sensitive?"
"I'm only suggesting we take things slower this time," he replied as he tried to keep the hostility out of his voice. It was difficult, especially since he was now aware of her back-stabbing plans.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked him.
"Sure, Bria. Tomorrow."
Ylesia, three weeks later
"What's going on, Bria?" Han snapped as the Rebels surrounded the smugglers, weapons pointed at his chest. He knew perfectly well what was going on, but playing the part was critical.
"I'm sorry, Han, it's necessary. The Rebellion needs these credits far more than any of you need them. It's for a good cause."
Han could see the angry looks on the smugglers' faces, the looks of hostility directed at him. It was a hostility that would never go away from this point forward. Bria had sealed his fate that day, even though he had turned down her offer to go with the Rebels. It was this single action that had caused him to make that Sith-spawned spice shipment, which ultimately lead to the Tatooine charter of Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi. If Han hadn't seen the Rebel base destroyed by the Death Star with his own eyes, if he hadn't watched Luke die in that X-Wing, he probably would turn her down again. But taking that same old path again might only result in another disaster.
"Come with us, Han," Bria begged her lover, tears forming in her eyes. "The cause is just, and you're a great leader. You could be a tremendous asset to the Rebellion."
"Okay," he said simply.
Chewie stared at his partner, dumbfounded. Bria's face broke into a huge smile. "You won't regret this, Han."
"You'd better never show your face around us again, Solo," one of his long-time smuggling associates threatened.
Han didn't answer either Bria or the smuggler as he allowed himself to be lead away from the group by the Rebels, with Chewie following quietly in his wake.
One week later.
If Han thought that smugglers were a paranoid lot, he quickly discovered that they had nothing on the Red Hand Squadron. The Corellian and Wookiee were allowed, under supervision, to fly the Falcon to a secret destination. Once there, Han had to suffer the indignity of watching as his ship was thoroughly scanned for tracking devices. Then Solo was separated from Chewie and questioned for nearly five hours about his reasons for joining. His interrogators were fast to jump on any perceived inconsistencies in Han's answers. If it wasn't for the fact that Leia's life was hanging on Han's ability to "join" this group, he would've told them to take a flying leap out of the nearest airlock. In the end, the Rebels were finally convinced of Han's sincerity, and the Corellian was silently thanking Leia for his years spent under her persistent, if somewhat underappreciated, tutelage regarding "diplomacy".
When he left the small, windowless, room Han was ready for a stiff drink. Chewie patiently waited outside the doorway. "Did they give you the third degree, too, pal?" Han groused to his partner.
*They did not bother me,* Chewie informed Han. *No one understood Shyriiwook, and I think they were frightened of me.*
"Lucky you," Han snorted.
*Han, why did you agree to join the Rebels?*
The Corellian didn't know how to answer his friend's question. After the disaster at Yavin, he was more reluctant than ever to mention his knowledge of the future. Besides, since Chewie didn't believe him last time, Han saw no reason the Wookiee would believe him this time. "I love Bria," Han lied guiltily "I don't want to live my life without her."
*Well, we are here now,* Chewie sighed. *And here comes the love of your life now.*
Looking back, Solo watched as Bria came running up to him and threw her arms around the smuggler. "Oh, Han," she said happily. "I knew I could convince you to do the right thing. You can't pretend with me."
"Of course not, honey," Han gave a strained smile at the woman. "So now what's the plan?"
"We need to head to Toprawa," Bria informed him as she took his arm possessively. "Our sources, which all those credits we took from your friends paid for by the way, tell us that the new Imperial Battle Station plans are being transmitted to Toprawa. We need to be there to intercept those plans."
"Then what?" Han asked casually.
"Then we'll transmit them to the Tantive IV, and Senator Organa will forward the plans to the Rebel base," she replied, leaning against Solo's arm.
Senator Organa. Just the mention of her name made Han's heart leap for joy. She was still alive, waiting for him.
"Han?"
"Yeah?"
"You didn't really mean what you said before, did you?"
"About what?"
"About us, you know, and not getting involved again," she said as she stroked his arm and hand. "I love you, Han. I always have and I always will. We don't have to stop showing that love."
For years after Bria died, Han wondered how he would feel about her if she was still alive; if she showed up unexpectedly someday and declared her love. Now he knew - Han Solo felt absolutely nothing for Bria Tharen, except perhaps pity. Even his anger over her betrayal had faded to nothing with the passage of time. Now that he was truly able to compare her to his Princess, he realized she was a mere wisp of smoke, a temporary distraction in his voyage toward his soulmate. "I'm sorry, Bria," Han said as gently as he was able. "I did mean what I said earlier. And now that I'm part of the Rebellion, you should realize more than ever we can't let a relationship distract us from what's important. Maybe when this is all over, after we've won the war, we can pick up where we left off."
Stepping back, Bria looked up at Solo and blinked back tears. "You're right. You've always been right. This is more important than just our needs and desires. Forgive me, Han."
"I forgive you," Han said. And he truly meant it.
The Fifth Day of the Seventh Month...
Toprawa. This was the place where Bria died, fighting an Imperial ambush after forwarding the Death Star plans to Leia's ship. Han knew, if he wasn't careful, it could very well be the place he would end up dying, too. If he was killed here, then once again he would fail. Solo also knew the reason that the Imperials stopped Leia's ship was because of those transmitted plans. Vader had traced the signal to her ship. Therefore, Han needed to convince Red Hand Squadron of the need to send those plans to the Rebels a different way. Hopefully, he'd be able to convince Bria to let him and Chewie take the plans on the Falcon and then rendezvous with the Tantive IV. If the plans were simply transmitted, he would be back to square one. He would need to rescue Leia from the Death Star. How many times would fate allow him to accomplish that feat?
"Bria," he began as he sat in her tiny hotel room, "I think this plan to transmit the Death Star data is too risky."
"It's war," she returned evenly. "Everything's a risk."
"Someone needs to physically take that data to the Rebellion," Solo persisted. "I can do that."
"We don't have time to have you fly the disk all that way."
"The Falcon is fast. I can get them there."
"No, it won't work," she said dismissively. "Transmittal is the best way." Bria continued to unpack and sort her weapons. "We might not survive tomorrow, Han," Bria said softly as she moved toward him, putting her hand on the side of his face. "Are you sure you won't change your mind about us?"
Damn, the woman was persistent. Quickly Han stood up and moved away from the small bed. "I'd better get back to the Falcon. Chewie'll be wondering what's keeping me." Han ahd plans to make tonight, too, since he didn't plan on dying tomorrow in that ambush. "I'll see you tomorrow morning when we go over the final strategy."
She nodded sadly as he exited her room.
Next day.
When the fighting erupted, the Red Hand Squadron was quickly surrounded. Han had to give them credit - they put up a courageous fight against overwhelming numbers. Quickly, Han made his way to the transmitter station. The Rebel, a man by the name of Kairn, was frantically trying to enter the code to the Tantive IV before the tower was destroyed. Solo grabbed his hand, and roughly pushed the startled Rebel away. "Not like this," Han snarled as he snatched the disk out of the computer.
"What are you doing?" the shocked man asked.
"I'll get these plans to the Rebel base," Solo snapped. "They can't be transmitted!"
"Are you crazy? We'll never get out of this alive!" Kairn exclaimed. "Transmitting is our only chance!"
A loud explosion sounded as the transmit tower was destroyed by the Imperial forces. Han shook his head, grinning. "Told you they couldn't be transmitted."
"I would have had the time if you hadn't stopped me! You're a spy!"
Once again he was being called crazy and a spy. It was getting old. "I really don't have time to argue with you," Han said tiredly as he pointed a blaster in the Rebel's direction. "If you're interested in getting out of this situation alive, you'll do as I say." With that, the Corellian pressed a signal button attached to his belt.
"Han?" Bria's voice came from behind him.
Moving with the speed that kept him alive for so long, Han grabbed the Rebel and spun him around, using the man as a shield between himself and Tharen. "Don't make me hurt anyone, Bria," Han growled.
"I can't believe you're doing this," she whispered. "Those plans had to be sent, and now the Imperial's have won."
Han only grinned as the Falcon swooped over the horizon, firing lasers at the stormtrooper's positions. "They haven't won, Bria. Here comes our ride now."
"Fine," she snarled at him. "I guess we'll do it your way. You haven't left us much choice."
That was the idea, he thought as he escorted them to the Falcon, which was now hovering over the beleaguered Rebels, its landing ramp extended.
Once everyone was safely inside, Han raised the ramp and started to turn toward the corridor. It was at that instant he knew he'd made a mistake. Bria's blaster bolt hit him directly in his chest, and he dropped to his knees as agonizing pain spread throughout his body. He could see his vision tunneling into blackness, heard a distant roar in his ears, and dimly felt the warmth of his blood as it seeped from his chest. He knew his heart was no longer beating. Leia, I failed you, again, was his last thought.
"You shouldn't have made me do that, Han," Bria whispered through tears as she watched Solo die.