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Kirishima Eijirou might just be the unluckiest man in the entire world, and here's why.

1. He had to discover something as exciting as his Quirk in a way that had him crying on the floor and the skin above his eye split open. 

2. He had to be struck by an imposter syndrome so debilitating that he's not sure if he's ever met a single person without comparing himself to them. 

(The conclusion is always, always: 'they're so much better than me'.) 

3. He had to be burdened by an impossible dream of becoming something that needed charm, skill, and confidence. Three things he definitely doesn't have and probably never will, and yet he could never let go of this dream. His idol, Crimson Riot, is one of the only people who's ever made Kirishima feel...strong. When he sees Crimson Riot, he doesn't think 'he's more than I could ever be' as much as he thinks 'I want to be like him.' He's wanted to be a hero ever since. 

4. He chickened out of applying to the school of his dreams. UA. 

(Actually, he did apply. Everything was fine and dandy as he got everything ready and trained day and night for the entrance exams. The written exam went off without a hitch because of all the all-nighters he pulled off revising like crazy, but then came...the practical. 

Kirishima took one look at all the other people around him, at their strength, their excitement, their Quirks, and thought to himself that he bet none of them were feeling queasy like he was right then. He bet none of them felt ready to run off at the slightest sound, at the slightest indication that they weren't good enough to be there. 

All it took was for Kirishima to see all the smiling faces around him, full of charisma and pure oozing self-esteem, for him to run away. 

He huddled up in his room for days, either crying or being too dehydrated to cry. He barely ate, and pretty much only moved to hold on tight to his mothers whenever they came to check on him. Then one of them came in one day with the telephone. 

"Someone from UA wants to talk to you, love." 

Oh no. Hadn't Kirishima faced enough humiliation? Did he really need the principal of the dream school that he failed to even finish the entry requirements for asking him why he wasn't at the entrance exam? 

But he couldn't say all that, and simply reached out a shaky hand for the telephone. He took a deep breath, then brought it up to his ear. "H-Hello?" 

"Kirishima Eijirou," a voice said, which made Kirishima blink. He...he knew this voice, didn't he...? "This is Eraserhead. You weren't at the practical entrance exam for UA."

All at once, Kirishima was hit by two blindingly different emotions. One was complete awe and fanboy galore as he screamed in his mind I'M TALKING TO ERASERHEAD ERASERHEAD IS TALKING TO ME OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK WHAT IS HAPPENING - and the other was utter, sheer embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry," Kirishima whispered, tears threatening his eyes again. But Eraserhead didn't reply to that, and instead said, "I marked your written exam." 

Kirishima sniffles in surprise, which is embarrassing. "Y-You did?" 

"Yes. It was standard. Definitely over a passing grade. But what caught my eye was your essay." 

Oh, right. The essay. Kirishima blushed as he remembered, because the question had been 'why do you want to be a hero?' and Kirishima got way too emotional and in over his head when he should've put something along the lines of a standard ''cause I wanna save people.'

"Having read that, I think I have a good idea of why you didn't come to the entrance exam," Eraser says. "You made it very clear that you don't think highly of yourself. But, let me quote something you said.

Kirishima winced. This was like when a teacher would read out your work in class, but not because it was good, because it was just so bad. "Y-Yes, sir..." 

"'With each person I save, I know their smiles will give me a bit more worth until finally I'll look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. But until then, I want to be a hero because I want to stop thinking about myself and think about others, because that feels so much better.' Do you still think this?"

KirIshima panicked for a second wondering if there was a right answer to that question but he wasn't sure, so he just decided to say the truth. "Yes, sir." 

"I see," Eraser said, tone as unreadable as ever. "Good luck on your future endeavours, Kirishima Eijirou." 

Kirishima nodded, trying not to sniffle again, then froze when Eraser continued, "Know that UA will always be open to you if you ever want to try again." 

Kirishima knew he was just saying that to be nice. Why would the best hero school in the world want a coward like him going there, after all that happened?

Still, he managed a small, "Thank you, sir," before the line went dead, and he keeled over to sob into his hands.) 

Somehow, even as he went to a regular school on a regular course and was regular in every single way, he never gave up on his dream. His new high-school friends who wanted to be amazing things like lawyers and accountants would all be subject to Kirishima's non-stop weight-lifting even in class, and him telling them excitedly about his hero-costume-in-progress. They'd all smile at him fondly and pat him on the back, though they were all sure that Kirishima was just playing pretend. Kirishima wasn't even on a hero course, why would he want to be a hero?

Little did they know that Kirishima saw in the news one day that Gang Orca never did a hero course either. He simply trained hard and studied hard by himself, and got his licence as an adult. Hearing that changed Kirishima's life forever, as all of a sudden he was throwing himself right back into his old schedule of vigorous training regimes, hero-video-watching hours (which was about two-thirds Crimson Riot, one-third every other hero), and filling sketchbooks full of hero costume ideas. 

He was never going to give up on this, no matter how unlucky he was.

5. Kirishima had to end up falling for someone so astronomically out of his reach that he might just be a pebble on Mercury and the other the blazing sun. Because Bakugou Katsuki really is everything a blazing fiery ball of heat should be. Kirishima's been captivated by him ever since he settled on the sofa to watch the Sports Festival in his first year of high school. 

"Looks like someone has a crushhh," his mothers teased him but Kirishima barely even heard them as he stared in wonder at the boy tearing apart his television screen with fierce smirks and exploding hands. He felt his cheeks burn red and adrenaline course through him as Bakugou stood there with smoke curling into the air from his hands, breathing heavily as a feral grin lit up his face. He was so...brilliant, and it really did something to Kirishima, the way he looked so happy and triumphant when he fought. It still does. 

"Manly..."

When Bakugou Katsuki looked right at the camera, turning that victorious face onto Kirishima, Kirishima had to clutch his chest.

Fast-forward two years later, Kirishima was fresh out of high school and at a coffee shop near his house for his first day as a barista, and he was diligently practising a cappuccino while he waited for customers to come. He perked up when he heard the little bell above the door ring. "Welcome!"

The person grunted at him, and Kirishima turned away from his cappuccino to smile at the customer. But he didn't get a chance to smile, when the first thing he noticed was the dirty blond and spiky hair of the new arrival and if Kirishima was anything, he was such a massive super-fan of Pro-Hero Dynamight's that he would recognise that hair anywhere.

So, gracefully, he yelled out shrilly in alarm and tripped over his own feet, falling back as his cup of cappuccino left his hand. He closed his eyes, simply embracing his foreboding death because at least it'd be so much better than ever facing his idol again after making a bigger fool of himself than he could even imagine - but then there was a rush of movement and someone grabbed hold of him with one hand and caught the cappuccino cup by its handle with the other.

"My fucking God, you idiot, you yelled so loud that I thought you were in danger," Bakugou growled at him, and Kirishima laid there, suspended in the air and limp. Except he wasn't quite suspended in the air, and instead in a pretty awkward position where his back was parallel to the floor and an arm around his waist was the only thing holding him up.

An...an arm...around his waist...

"AH!" Kirishima yelled again, jumping out of Bakugou's hold and backing up rapidly until his back hit the wall. He panted heavily, staring in amazement as the Bakugou Katsuki raised a perfect eyebrow at him, arms crossed.

"I want a caramel macchiato," Bakugou said boredly as if this was an extremely normal occurrence, and Kirishima nodded jerkily. Then he scampered into the back of the store faster than lightning.

"BAKU- DYNA- CARAMEL-" Kirishima yelled in vain as he grabbed his manager by the shoulders and she looked at him worriedly. Kirishima was so lucky that they were friends before he started working here or he'd definitely be fired by now.

"Deep breaths, Kirishima."

"Baku- Dynamight, he's- he's in the store and he wants a caramel macchiato and I don't know how to make those yet and I also really don't think he wants it from me 'cause God, I just made the biggest idiot of myself-"

"Alright, alright, kiddo, I'll take over for a minute," the manager said amusedly, patting his back. "I guess I forgot to tell you he was a regular, huh..."

"He...reg- YES, I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT MINUTE DETAIL?!" Kirishima squeaked, and it was horrible how the only thing the manager did was laugh at him before leaving to serve Dynamight.

Now that he was left alone, Kirishima sank down to the floor, put his head into his hands, and groaned.

6. He somehow accidentally becomes a supervillain, because that's something that normally happens, right? 

(It doesn't. Kirishima is just abnormally, astronomically, and exceptionally unlucky.)

One year onward from the embarrassing Dynamight debacle to today, fresh-faced, excited, twenty-year-old Kirishima is all up and ready at six am, sparkles in his eyes as he scrubs at his face and slips into his (makeshift) hero costume. It doesn't have a shirt, but he wears black baggy trousers with red cloth tied around his waist and big red hiking boots. He also has a half-mask made of sheer red attached to a wired guard around his face, with some spiked pieces around his mouth which look like little fangs. His parents had helped him make it.

"Badass, right?" Kirishima asks his roommate excitedly that morning, who tilts his head at him. 

"You look like an Oni." 

Kirishima almost tears up, because that's exactly what he was going for. "Thank you."

So he sets off, with congratulatory teary calls from his parents and a thumbs up from his roommate, to the Hero Licence Exam which is happening on the other side of the town, just like all the other hero hopefuls probably are. Then (just his luck), he hears a scream, and out of the sky (or probably just from the roofs) drop villains looking thirsty for blood. 

Like...real real villains. 

Kirishima stands there with wide eyes, heart beating fast inside of him. But the instant he sees one of the villains trying to approach a woman who is valiantly trying to protect her son, Kirishima bolts forward, hardens his hand, and pummels his fist into the villain's side. 

"Run as fast as you can, ma'am," Kirishima says firmly after checking she's alright, and the woman sniffs as she nods gratefully. 

"Thank-" 

"WE'RE HERE!" a loud voice yells, and Kirishima looks to the source of the voice after bundling the kid into the mother's arms and telling her again to run. But thankfully the voice belongs to no tyrant, but instead a hero. A whole band of them are there, actually, looking so cool and ready to fight to the death, and Kirishima feels his poor heart sigh in relief. 

He's definitely terrified but ready to help as best as he can, and finally a hero sees him. Kirishima brightens up and tries to call out that he can offer assistance - when suddenly the hero points at him and yells, "GET HIM!" 

Wait. Huh? 

Kirishima has absolutely no idea why one of the heroes are now suddenly glaring at him and making a fucking beeline for him, but his fight-or-flight mode does the thinking for him as he immediately scrabbles to try and get his feet into action and then he's bolting away. He's no slow runner, always having done a lot of cardio with his training to match his muscle power, and it seems like the hero gets distracted somewhere so Kirishima is safely out of sight soon enough.

He stumbles into an alley and trips over a rock, yelling as he falls to the ground. And just lies there. 

They think I'm a villain. 

They think I hurt people.

He grits his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut as he bangs a fist against the ground. 

"I'm not a villain, Todoroki! I'm so not a villain! I am SO FAR FROM A VILLAIN! I AM AN UPHOLDING CITIZEN WHO FREAKS OUT WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY STEP ON SOMEONE'S HEELS!" Kirishima yells as he paces frantically in front of his roommate who is casually sitting at the dining table and eating an apple. "HOW DID THEY THINK I WAS A VILLAIN?!"

"Your costume looks like an Oni. Those are demons. Demons are bad." 

"NOT ALL DEMONS ARE BAD!" Kirishima yells as if demons exist and he happens to be very passionate about the subject (which he isn't, he's just very stressed), and Todoroki nods.

"You're right, I'm sorry for generalising. So how did the exam go?" 

Oh fuck. The exam. Kirishima howls in despair as he sinks into one of the chairs and bangs his head forlornly against the table. Todoroki slips a hand under his head to stop him.

"You didn't go?" Todoroki asks, finally sounding concerned. "But this is all you've wanted for so long." 

"How could I have gone when all those heroes were suddenly out to beat me up, man?!" Kirishima yelps, near pulling his hair out. "Oh God. And they're looking for me too. I got a News notification on my phone and they put out a legit description of me. I mean, it wasn't that good because I doubt anyone got a close look but - I could be thrown into jail, dude. Oh shit. Oh shit, heck- should I turn myself in? Should I explain? Who's gonna listen to me?!" 

"I'm sure if you explain, it will all be fine." 

Kirishima hopes so. He definitely can't do nothing about this, and he really hopes he can tell the Hero Public Safety Commission that he got caught in an attack and beg them to give him another shot. He really has been working so hard towards this, and he can't wait another six months for the next licence exam.

Why did this have to happen to him the year that he finally worked up the courage and skillset to go for his dream? 

7. It happens again. And again. And again.

The day after the first time it happened, he decides to turn himself in, so he sets out in his hero costume and all so he can be recognised easily and clear up the misunderstanding from the get-go.

He drops by the bank first so he can deposit some money, and he waits in line fizzling as he thinks over and over about everything he's going to try his best to say to whoever he'll end up needing to talk to. He can do this, he's sure he can do this, because nothing is going to ever get in the way of his dreams again if he has anything to say about it. He pumps his fists, nodding determinedly at himself which makes the person behind him give him a weird look. 

Then suddenly the sound of shattering glass fills his ears, and he barely has time to turn around before a voice yells, "ALL OF YA, HANDS UP!" 

Kirishima immediately kicks into action, narrowing his eyes as he turns around and sweeps in front of the people behind him. The robber at the front gives him a once-over and smirks, twirling his gun around in his fingers. "Oho, we got a self-made hero here? How cute." 

"Eh- dude, wasn't he in the news last night?" one of the other robbers ask, and the main one looks back at Kirishima curiously - but they all jolt when a robber who had got to the tills screams at the clerk, "PUT DOWN THAT PHONE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" 

"Get away from her," Kirishima growls, though it comes out quiet and a little breathy but Kirishima isn't quite used to these high-stake situations yet, alright - but he's still ready to race to the counter and get the robber away from the clerk whose eyes are begging for help. But before he can get too far, a familiar voice is calling out, "PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN, YOU'RE SURROUNDED."

Kirishima feels all the breath get knocked out of his lungs.

Dynamight. 

Bakugou Katsuki is here. 

Kirishima turns around, involuntarily desperate to get a look at his stupid stupid celebrity crush that plagues his thoughts way too often, but when his and Bakugou's eyes meet, it's nothing like a romantic fairytale moment. Instead Bakugou's eyes rage with unbridled fire, and he seethes, "You're that bastard from last night."

Oh. Wow. Kirishima wonders what it says about him that he wants to swoon a little from Bakugou speaking to him. Even if it is when he's under the guise of, uh, an accidental supervillain - but Kirishima is so whipped that he'll definitely take it. 

That is until Bakugou lunges for him, and Kirishima's breath hitches when at the same time, gunshots fire - the robbers are still going. That seems to distract Bakugou, who grits his teeth and dives into action to protect the civilians rather than try and capture Kirishima. For a fleeting second Kirishima feels so impressed by that, until he realises that he needs to run. He looks around frantically, stressed when he realises the exit is blockaded by the police and more heroes are flooding inside - but then he catches one of the workers waving at him, hissing, "Over here!" 

Kirishima runs over, and him and the worker run through the doors at the back and down a corridor until they reach a fire exit. 

"You can leave through here," the worker says, opening the door. Kirishima nods so gratefully, trying to catch his breath as he realises that he knows this person. Well, he knows most people in this town because of work and always easily being able to make conversation at the grocery store, but it eases his heart all the same.

"Thanks, man, I'm- I'm so...sorry, it wa-"

"Don't worry, Kirishima, we know you didn't do anything," the worker reassures him, patting his back. "And I don't know what happened yesterday, but you're not some supervillain, what on earth are the heroes thinking?" 

"I know, right?!" Kirishima cries in a bout of relief, so happy that someone is on his side. "Thanks, Tameda, I'll see you later - I mean, if I don't get thrown into jail..." 

"The heroes are gonna have the whole town to speak to if they try to do that," Tameda says dryly, making Kirishima laugh. "I'm not joking!" 

"Alright," Kirishima grins, knowing that Tameda is totally joking. The whole town? Vouch for him against stellar heroes like Dynamight and the like? Pffft. "Thanks again!" 

Kirishima runs off as fast as he can, his heart feeling lighter after that exchange. But as the realisation of what just happened dawns on him, his steps get heavier, and heavier, until he's practically a walking zombie by the time he gets home. Todoroki opens the door, about to go back to the living room right after, but then he sees Kirishima standing there looking like the most pathetic human being in the world as he brings his arm up to wipe at his teary eyes. 

"It happened again!" Kirishima wails, his trembling hands clenching into fists, and Todoroki gives him a wide-eyed look that morphs into one of such apologetic sadness before he reaches out to wrap Kirishima up into a hug. 

And these seven reasons are why Kirishima Eijirou, the accidental supervillain of Musutafu, is the unluckiest man in the world. 

"I'll clear things up with the police," Todoroki says the next morning when Kirishima's at work. 

"NO!" Kirishima yells, accidentally dropping the cup of coffee he was making and him and Todoroki both look at the mess on the floor. Kirishima winces when his manager eyes him, and he rushes off before coming back with a mop. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell..." 

"I don't mind. You're always yelling," Todoroki says matter-of-factly, and Kirishima says a wry, "Ha-ha." 

"You are. But I'm serious, I think it's the best thing to do." 

"But- but- heck, Todoroki, what if you get into trouble? What if you lose your job? You're basically harbouring a fugitive, do you realise that?!" 

"Yeah, a fugitive who did nothing wrong," Todoroki says firmly before setting his own empty coffee cup down on the counter, and Kirishima deadpans, "I know you wanted to look cool but you better put that in the bin." 

"I'm a hero, Kirishima. They pretty much have to listen to me." 

"I thought you were on probation because you got way too mad at some police officers," Kirishima says with a raised eyebrow, and Todoroki mutters, "They were being fucking idiots and my patience with them is seriously wearing thin." 

"I guess it's true that heroes and police walk a fine line, huh..." 

Todoroki still pushes, but Kirishima shuts him down every time he tries. Kirishima really doesn't want to get Todoroki into even more trouble than he already is, and besides, if him and Todoroki have to maybe stop being roommates or even friends because of this stupid misunderstanding, Kirishima might as well just crawl into a hole and stay there for eternity. 

Soon enough, Todoroki gives up with a sigh and waves Kirishima goodbye. Kirishima feels thankful that he put a stop to that, and spends the rest of the hour serving customers and looking at the clock. It's almost time... 

He immediately stands up straight when at 9am on the dot, the door swings open and a familiar head of spiky hair comes into view. 

"Morning!" Kirishima says brightly, heart beating a mile a minute, and Bakugou pulls his face covering down when he gets to the counter and sends Kirishima a smile. 

"Mornin'." 

Kirishima is in absolute heaven. It took two months of regular morning visits to the coffee shop before Bakugou started greeting him back, and six months until Bakugou started smiling at the sight of him. It almost completely eases away the pain of all this supervillain business. 

Until Kirishima remembers how steely Bakugou's eyes had been last night, glowering at Kirishima when he thought he was behind the bank robbery.

"You...alright?" Bakugou questions with a raised eyebrow when Kirishima goes paler than a sheet. He tries his best to laugh it off, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Yep! So what can I get you?" 

"D'you recommend anything?" 

"Every time I do, you just say 'nah' then order a caramel macchiato," Kirishima whines, and Bakugou snickers as he pushes 300 yen over the counter. 

"One caramel macchiato, then." 

"You're terrible," Kirishima tells him while he's actually thinking, you're brilliant, you're sublime, you're beauty and grace, and Bakugou just grins at him as if he doesn't know that's gonna stop Kirishima's heart. Maybe he really is terrible. 

They haven't really got to the point of good small-talk yet, which is horrible, and has Kirishima thinking that maybe his usual track-record for being able to socialise with anyone and anything isn't that impressive at all. But it's not his fault when he clams up at the thought of The Bakugou Katsuki knowing anything about his personal life, even something as mundane as 'I have plants'.

And Bakugou always just goes to a seat after he orders and pulls out a book to read as he waits for someone to bring his drink over when it's ready. Kirishima doesn't want to disturb him when he's reading a book, who does that?! It seems to give off very blatant 'do not talk to me' vibes. 

But Kirishima still always talks to him just a little when he goes to give him his coffee. Just because he really can't help it. 

"How's your morning been so far?" 

'It hasn't really started yet, has it?' is Bakugou's usual type of response, but for some reason, today Bakugou looks up at Kirishima for a moment. Then he says lowly, "Good." 

Kirishima smiles, giddily happy at the positive response. Something awesome must've happened for Bakugou to be having a good morning already. "Yay! Ah, I mean-"

He clears his throat, and tries to say in a voice as cool and low as Bakugou's, "Good."

"You're an idiot," Bakugou says, sounding exasperated, and Kirishima chuckles as he hands over the coffee. It's always a bit sad when he does that, because once the coffee's in Bakugou's grasp, Kirishima no longer has any real reason to keep talking to him. But he lives for when their fingers might brush during these moments because he's a sappy loser like that.

Their fingers don't brush today, making Kirishima have to try not to pout. But Bakugou talks again, a little awkwardly. "So...yours?"

"Mine?"

"Your morning."

"Oh! Well, it's absolutely epic now I've seen you," Kirishima says like clockwork, a standard answer to cover up all the stress he's been through for the past two days. It's hard to read Bakugou's expression when he has those shades on, but it looks like Bakugou's not fooled from the way he stares up at Kirishima for a moment longer. But the words do hold some truth. Bakugou really always does make Kirishima feel better, whether it's by watching reruns of his fights, binging interviews and compilations, or serving him coffee.

Bakugou settles in his seat. "Alright. By the way, you, uh, weren't here the last two days."

Bakugou says it like a statement, but Kirishima knows it's a question. "Ah, right...I've just had a pretty tough time lately. I asked for time off yesterday."

"Oh," Bakugou says, and Kirishima rubs his arm nervously. That was probably too much small-talk. Bakugou's gonna tell him to shut up or something along the lines of 'I didn't ask for your fucking life story" but instead, Bakugou says something so wonderful that Kirishima's heart skips a beat. "Are you okay?"

(Yes, Kirishima's standards are low.)

Kirishima wants to lie again, but he's too mentally exhausted to try as he drops into the seat opposite Bakugou and sighs, startling Bakugou a little. "Not really. I think I've royally messed up my life because I can't stop doing that but this time, it- it's bad."

"I bet it's not that bad, you drama queen," Bakugou snorts, but it's not too teasing as he leans forward a tiny bit. "I'm sure. There's nothin' you could've done that was that bad."

Kirishima decides that he imagined Bakugou's emphasis on 'you'. "But I did, man, I did."

And you hate me and want to beat me up and take me to prison.

"If it helps," Bakugou says, sounding dry and annoyed at himself, "I haven't been havin' a great time either. I let a supervillain get away, one that was sighted twice in the past couple days. I haven't let people get away like that in years."

Kirishima bites his lip, hands trembling so he hides them in his apron pockets. This might be the first time Bakugou isn't making Kirishima feel better, but instead kind of making him violently sick.

He should just say it. Right now, he should just tell Bakugou that the 'supervillain' is him. That's a good idea, right? Then he can get this done and over with, explain as best as he can, pay some sort of fine or do a bit of jail time, and get back to his life even if he'll have a little bit of a criminal record and...probably won't be allowed to be a hero...

Oh.

"Holy shit, what happened?" Bakugou starts in worry when tears fall freely from Kirishima's eyes without him noticing, but when he does, his eyes grow wide and he yells out, jumping out of his seat which manages to have his chair falling back with a loud clang which surprises him so much that he slips.

And like always, Bakugou reaches out to catch him.

"You know," Kirishima says dizzily as Bakugou takes his hand and sets him upright, "the best thing about you being a customer here is your reflexes."

"You're lucky your clumsy ass has got me," Bakugou snorts, and Kirishima almost says, the only times I'm clumsy is when I'm around you. He doesn't, because he gets too mind-bogglingly distracted by the fact that Bakugou squeezes his hand. As if to say 'I hope you'll be okay'. 

Oh, Kirishima is so in love.

Bakugou digs into his pocket, and takes out a pristine handkerchief that he holds out to Kirishima. When Kirishima sees it, he wants to cry again.

"I can't-"

"Take it."

"It's your handkerchief! I can't wipe my gross snotty face on Bakugou Katsuki's handkerchief!" Kirishima cries because he doesn't think he can make any more of a fool of himself at this rate, then yelps when Bakugou slaps a hand over his mouth and hisses, "Keep your voice down, you moron."

Kirishima just blinks, because there's virtually no one in the shop and Bakugou should know he's not fooling anyone when he's not even covering his very signature hair. But he blushes hard when he realises how big Bakugou's hand is. Wow.

Then the bell above the door rings signalling another customer, and Bakugou lets go (which is sad) and drops himself back into his seat. Kirishima sends him a farewell salute.

"Duty calls! Enjoy your drink."

Bakugou nods at him, and Kirishima practically skips off, a bounce in his step.

"You two get along well," Kirishima's manager says amusedly when Kirishima gets prepared to serve the new customer once he's back behind the counter. He frowns at the words.

"I don't know what you're talking about...the universe just does something to me whenever he's around. I become such an idiot." 

"Aren't you naturally an idiot?" 

"THAT'S MEAN!" 

With no way to become a real hero for another six months, Kirishima's back to daily life full of barista-ing and what Todoroki calls 'Random Acts of Kind Vigilantism', which gets him a cushion-smack from Kirishima every time he says it. 

Kirishima is not a vigilante. Except for the fact that he kind of is, but does it really matter when all he does is save pets dangling from precariously high places and stop local store break-ins? He just tries his best to do all the jobs that the real heroes are, uh, sort of too high and mighty for.

"Don't feel bad about saying that. It's totally true," Todoroki tells him, throwing a peanut into his mouth. "With the rise of Quirks came the rise of really bad crime. With the rise of really bad crime came the rise of heroes. With the rise of heroes came the laziness of the police. With the laziness of the police came smaller, more 'normal' crimes being more overlooked than they already were. I really hate it." 

"You have so many negative feelings towards the civil service even though you're in it," Kirishima says amusedly, and Todoroki angrily throws a peanut at the ground. 

"There are just so many bad things about it. I had a whole existential crisis when I was younger wondering if this was what I really wanted to do or if it was simply the only thing I knew." 

Kirishima pats Todoroki's shoulder. "Why did you stay?"

"I like saving people. But at this rate I might just never go back and open a soba restaurant instead." 

"Wha- wait, dude, seriously? I would so support." 

But as time passes, more misunderstandings crop up until Kirishima is suffocating under the weight of them. He's usually in his hero costume when he's out playing vigilante, mostly so it'll be harder for the cops to recognise him (even though it seems like most of the people in this town have figured out that it's him), and he'll be helping someone with their groceries when the instant he's done, an alarm will sound and he'll turn around to see the supermarket being attacked. Because fuck his luck, right?

And he can never just ignore it. He can't. He always has to rush in to try to help, to try to save because that's all he wants to do - and whether it's heroes or the police who get there first, he always gets chased or shot at without fail because they all think he's the bad guy. All he can do is run for his life. 

"You got a care package," Todoroki tells Kirishima when he comes home one exhausting day having chased after a townsperson's annoyingly fast runaway cat, and receiving a care package seems like a very nice pick-me-up. He takes a seat at the table and reaches out for it - and woah, it's massive. Who sent it? 

"This is...from one of the banks I robbed?!" Kirishima yelps when he reads the letter attached, and Todoroki sighs, "Kirishima. How many times. You did not actually rob any banks. Stop saying it like that or you'll do terribly in an interrogation room if they ever catch you." 

"When they catch me. It's only a matter of time," Kirishima groans, fed-up tears threatening his eyes again and Todoroki reaches out to pat his back while still looking at his phone. 

"What's the letter say?" 

"Uh...Dear Kirishima Eijirou, we are very sorry for the events that occurred the other day. Don't worry. We know you weren't involved in any way. Here is a token of apology, as we hope you are not going through a lot of mental stress from being accused." 

Kirishima has a hand over his mouth when he's done reading, and Todoroki finally looks up from his phone. He smiles, too, when Kirishima sniffles and looks at him with glassy eyes. "Th-They know it's not me...!" 

"Everyone other than a dumb handful of heroes and the city police knows it's not you," Todoroki assures him, passively letting Kirishima flop into him in a hug. "Everyone who knows you knows you're no threat." 

"But I wanna be a threat. To villains," Kirishima sniffs, and Todoroki pats his head. 

"Okay, you can simultaneously be a big teddy bear and a threat to villains. Happy? " 

Kirishima would be very happy if it was only that simple. 

They spend the night watching cheesy rom-com movies and snacking on care-package cookies, while Kirishima hopes that one day he can put a stop to this mess and finally become someone he's proud of.

The day that Kirishima finally gets caught starts off as one of the worst days of his life. Understandably. 

It's partly because he wakes up to Pro-Hero Dynamight making a vehement statement in an interview that goes viral and chills Kirishima to the core. 

"I will catch The Oni," Dynamight seethes, staring straight at the camera with his eyes narrowed and set alight with determined fire, "and make sure he won't ever see the light of day again."

"I'm gonna turn myself in," Kirishima says the instant he sees it, already overcome by fear and a sense to finally make this right. He never ever wants to see Bakugou look like that again. Sure, he looked very scary and adamant and cool, but Kirishima could also see that he looked...tired. He looked so disappointed in himself, and Kirishima hates that so much. He just wants to pull Bakugou into a hug and tell him he's such an amazing hero and he's so sorry for making him feel like he isn't one.

He's definitely going to go turn himself in.

"Oh no you're not," Todoroki says, grabbing Kirishima by the back of his collar before he takes a step outside. "Listen. Bakugou is a hothead and clearly not in a right frame of mind right now. There's no way you'll be able to get out of this."

"That- that's okay! Maybe I'll get a long sentence but I'll get parole soon and by then, maybe some people can vouch for me!" Kirishima insists, desperately optimistic, but...he's not an idiot.

The heroes are more suspicious of him than ever, and Kirishima is really starting to feel like they won't listen to him. All these attacks that people think he's been involved with have been bad, casualties racking up even with the heroes getting on the scene as quickly as possible. Kirishima isn't ready for a lifetime in normal prison, and then Kirishima's heard tales about Tartarus, the infamous villain prison.

He's already weak. How could he handle a place like that without breaking completely?

"Just go to work and think things over," Todoroki tells him, and Kirishima deflates a little, nodding. It'll probably be all the freedom he'll be able to get before he's left to rot in a jail.

He reaches out to open the door with renewed vigour, before him and Todoroki jolt when they hear a loud array of voices outside their apartment then someone who sounds suspiciously like the mayor hissing, "SHHH, DON'T BE TOO LOUD!". Then there's mostly silence, followed by a loud knock at the door.

Kirishima looks curiously at Todoroki who only shrugs, so Kirishima slowly opens the door. And is immediately faced with at least forty people at his doorstep, all neighbours or workers at stores he shops at or people he's saved from a small bout of imminent danger (or at least he might have saved their pets). And the mayor really is at the forefront of them all.

The mayor's a lovely lady, her and Kirishima go to the same laundromat and have sat atop of washing machines a few times to talk about the weather and their ideal holidays while waiting for their clothes, but Kirishima is absolutely certain that he's dreaming right now.

"Kirishima, I am sorry for this unprepared visit, but we just saw the news," the mayor says worriedly, reaching out to pat his shoulder. "When some people saw I was going to your house, they hurried to join. I am SO sorry about how blind the government and certain heroes are being."

"We keep trying to clear your name but they won't listen to us!" someone calls out, and Kirishima recognises him as the florist who he just about pushed out of the way when he was walking under construction once and nearly got hit by a falling object, and the next day, a massive bouquet of roses appeared at the coffee shop addressed to Kirishima. "They all say that we don't know anything about crime deduction and there's too much evidence against you! It's bullshit!"

"What evidence even is there? You're just unlucky, but you've got the biggest heart ever!"

"The whole town will back that up, for sure!"

"We know the truth!"

"WE KNOW THE TRUTH!" the crowd starts to chant in very bad unison, and oh man. Kirishima isn't hydrated enough for the tears that form at the corners of his eyes for the millionth time in these past few months, and everyone panics instantly when they see Kirishima start to cry. Kirishima just laughs them all off, waving his hands when forty people haphazardly offer tissues and hugs.

He loves this town, and he loves the people here more than he can even begin to put into words.

He's too moved to speak, but he tries his best to give each and every one of them a hug. They all assure him he'll be okay, that they'll vouch as hard as they can for him, and Kirishima squeezes the life out of them in return. Then he gets to Tameda, who grins smugly. "Do you believe me now?"

"I can't believe this is happening," Kirishima says hoarsely, shaking his head in wonder as he reaches out to hug Tameda tight. Tameda pats his back.

"Better believe it, mate."

Kirishima heads off to the coffee shop in so much higher spirits than he has in a long time. The manager beams at him, saying, "It's so nice to see you smile like that again, Kirishima," and Kirishima feels the same way.

Work goes on like usual. He hasn't seen Bakugou for a few days, but that's definitely a good thing because Kirishima hasn't been able to look him in the eye for a while. He doesn't make any small-talk, just flatly asks for Bakugou's order with his head down then asks a co-worker to go give Bakugou's drink to him. He always feels Bakugou's eyes burning into him lately and it makes him want to curl up into a ball because Bakugou must be wondering why the hell some lowly civilian is treating him, the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, this way.

But Bakugou never says anything, so neither does Kirishima.

It hits 1pm, nearing the end of Kirishima's shift, when the bell above the door rings. Kirishima turns away from the coffee machine and grins, his good mood lighting up the store once more. "Good afternoon!"

"Heck," a familiar raspy voice says, sounding so relieved, as the man it belongs to trudges over to the counter. "That's the first time I've seen you smile at me in what feels like years."

Kirishima's eyes grow wide as immediately said smile begins to slip, and Bakugou sighs. "And it's gone."

"B-Bakugou?" Kirishima stammers in a very unprofessional way, but he can't help it. Its a very strange feeling to have his mood plummet so far down but at the same time feel so enamoured. "Why are you- what are you-"

"I don't really want anything. I just wanted to see your face. It calms me down, or something," Bakugou mutters, pulling down his face-mask as Kirishima turns so red that he can't believe he's still conscious. What does that even mean? "I know you're mad at me, for some reason, and that's fine but can you at least - look at me today?"

Oh no. Bakugou thinks Kirishima is mad at him. Kirishima could never in his entire life be mad at Bakugou, or at least not for longer than five minutes. How on earth did Bakugou jump to that conclusion?

"I'm not mad at you," Kirishima says, and Bakugou snaps his head up to stare at him, eyes filled with hope. He's not wearing shades today and Kirishima wonders how eyes so beautiful can look as scary as they did in the interview from that morning.

"Really? But you- you've been weird, lately. I thought you were disappointed in me or somethin'. By the fact that I haven't caught the supervillain in your town yet, maybe."

"Wha- oh my God, Bakugou," Kirishima says in alarm, reaching out to grab Bakugou's hand on reflex which has Bakugou flinching. "How could you think- why would I be disappointed in you for that? When you only let him get away 'cause you're busy saving people? When it's not my place at all to judge the way you do your job when you're so amazing at it? I'm never ever ever gonna be disappointed in you, man."

"Then...why?" Bakugou asks him, his face pink from the cold. Kirishima looks down at the ground, then takes in a deep breath.

He can do this. It's time.

"I'm the supervillain."

There's a short torturous pause, where the shop seems more quiet than it's ever been, before Bakugou growls out a low, "What."

Kirishima hates when Bakugou is angry like this, but he's prepared this confession so many times in his head. He has to get through it. "I really am. It's me, I'm the supervillain, but actually it's all a big misunder-"

Kirishima yells out when suddenly Bakugou's moving behind the counter at the speed of lightning and pinning Kirishima to the wall, lips curled up into a sneer as one hand presses into Kirishima's throat and the other is suspended into the air, already fired up and ready to explode.

Holy fuck, Kirishima's always wanted Bakugou to pin him down but not like this- Jesus, Kirishima, it is not the time-

"Do you think this is some fucking joke?" Bakugou snarls, and Kirishima quickly shakes his head.

"No, no way, even though the whole thing is a bit of a joke really but just let me explai-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you. Can't you see how much this bloody case is messin' me up and you're jokin' around about it? You airhead. You're a cheap moron 'n fuck, I-I thought you were more than-"

Bakugou seems to bite his tongue to stop himself from finishing the sentence, and Kirishima is more confused than he wants to let on because now more than ever does he not want to seem like an idiot. But he doesn't understand. What does Bakugou think Kirishima is joking about?

"But I'm- I'm serious, Baku-"

"Get my name out your mouth," Bakugou snaps, letting go of Kirishima like he can't bear to touch him for a second longer. "I'm never comin' back to this shithole. Have a good life, bastard."

Then Bakugou marches out of the coffee shop, and Kirishima stays where he is, breathing heavily and his eyes the size of moons.

Then he sinks to the ground and hugs his knees to his chest. For once, he's too shaken to cry. Instead, he can't stop thinking about the angry tears he saw in Bakugou's eyes, how he looked so...upset.

Then it finally clicks.

Bakugou thought he was lying. About being the supervillain. He thought Kirishima was making the whole thing into a joke, which must've been awful when Bakugou is clearly having such a hard time dealing with this whole situation as a hero.

Tears finally fall from his eyes then, and his manager finds him in pieces on the floor and immediately sends him home.

"I'm going to kill him," Todoroki says immediately when Kirishima explains everything once he gets there, and now he's lying on the couch, exhausted and filling up on ice-cream.

Kirishima chuckles weakly. "You like him too much to do that."

"Not right now. Right now, I want to kick him into oblivion. Right now, he made my best friend cry."

Kirishima's heart swells when he hears 'best friend'. That's the first time Todoroki's ever called him that.

"A lot of things make me cry, Todoroki..."

"Not like this. I'm so mad."

"Don't be-" Kirishima pauses when his phone pings, and he checks the screen. "Ah, Takahashi totalled his car and got it stuck in a...tree? Geez. I'm gonna go help."

Todoroki nods at him, giving him a pre-hero-duty cookie snack, and Kirishima chews on it as he gets into his hero costume.

Takahashi's car is seriously stuck in a tree, not just crashed into it but stuck in it. Kirishima still has no clue how that happened even when Takahashi tries to explain the story to him, so he just dismisses it and smiles, telling him he'll get it out and that Takahashi should call his insurance company. He gives Takahashi a quick health check and can't see anything immediately wrong except for a few cuts that he's able to treat with a first-aid-kit, but tells the guy to go the hospital just in case.

He calls a tow-truck, and it comes soon after he gets the car out the tree and bags all of the items that are inside it. Less than an hour more passes and then he's done.

Maybe I'll grab a smoothie, Kirishima thinks tiredly, so he makes a beeline for the café at the end of the road. But he pauses when someone suddenly rushes past him, as fast as a blur. That's definitely a speed Quirk, right? No-one's that fast. But why are they using it out in the open like that-

Oh, Kirishima thinks when he looks to the right and sees that the café is right next to a bank which is currently full of broken windows and an alarm ringing through the building. Crap.

It's different to all the other times, because Kirishima isn't actually in the building this time and the heroes are already there. But it doesn't matter, because when Bakugou and Chargebolt run out of the bank and see him, Kirishima knows he's already done for.

Well, Todoroki, seems like I didn't even need to turn myself in in the end.

He explains everything the best he possibly can when he's finally pushed into an interrogation room and given the chance to confess. Eraserhead, venerated ex-hero and now on the board of the Hero Council, is the person who has to listen to his absolutely ridiculously-sounding story with his eyebrows raising higher at each word, and Kirishima already knows.

Eraserhead doesn't believe him at all.

Bakugou and Pro-Hero Chargebolt happen to be there too, listening to every word Kirishima says, and when Bakugou bellows, "BULLSHIT!", Chargebolt says at the exact same time, "I think he sounds pretty legit."

Everyone whips their heads around to stare at Chargebolt, who shrugs. "He seems like a nice guy. And the way he talks reminds me of a friend I used to have, so that's plus points in his favour. I really liked that guy though I never got his name." 

Kirishima wonders if Chargebolt really might be talking about him, because Kirishima and him used to spend a lot of time together at the arcade after school and they would have so much fun - but he's sure a hero like him would've forgotten all about that.

"Pikachu, shut the fuck up. Oni, you seriously want us to fuckin' believe that all this is an accident? You're really gonna make me laugh," Bakugou growls, looking very far from laughing. "You're every making of a villain. Your costume screams villain, your name screams villain."

Kirishima frowns, opening his mouth to sincerely explain because he's kind of upset that people (Bakugou especially) have been thinking that. But then suddenly the door opens, and Todoroki stands there with his arm raised in a wave. "Hi. Oh, am I late?"

"Todoroki?" Kirishima asks in confusion, but he's drowned out by Bakugou screeching, "ICY-HOT, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?!"

"I don't want to talk to you right now," Todoroki snubs him, and Bakugou recoils in pure offence as Todoroki walks straight past him and sets a plate of cookies onto the table. "I brought cookies. They usually make Kirishima feel less nervous so I thought they'd help."

"Wait. Shoto, you know this man?" Eraserhead asks confusedly, while Kirishima is still stuck on the fact that Todoroki somehow made his way in here just to give him cookies. He loves him so much but he also wonders why the hell Todoroki is like this.

Todoroki blinks at the question. "Yes? He's my-"

"AH-LA LA LA!" Kirishima yells quickly, breaking out of his handcuffs so he can jump up and slap a hand over Todoroki's mouth. They both engage in a very serious telepathic conversation for the next minute.

You can't tell them! You'll get into trouble !

Kirishima, I brought you cookies. We're already in the deep end.

DUDE, PLEASE! FOR ME!

I'm telling them.

TODOROKI.

"He's my roommate and very esteemed friend," Todoroki says, and Kirishima groans as he falls into a heap on the floor. Then he suddenly realises that he's not handcuffed anymore and he yells out, racing back to his seat like a well-behaved suspect.

"U-Um, please can I get more handcuffs?"

Chargebolt bursts out laughing while Eraserhead stares between him and Todoroki in amazement. "...I guess so-"

"Wait, wait. Hold the fuck up. Half, since when do you have a roommate?" Bakugou asks in confusion, and Todoroki looks away, saying, "Maybe if you replied to my texts then you would know."

Bakugou stammers out heated nonsense, his face burning an alarming shade of angry red, and Kirishima has to try so hard not to laugh while Chargebolt is currently in the corner dying. Then the door opens once more and in swaggers Present Mic in all his glory, an ex-hero also on the council. All the colour drains from Eraserhead's face.

"Hizashi, why are you-"

"I'm just here to see my awesome partner," Present Mic beams, crushing Eraserhead into a hug before he spins away and looks at Kirishima in delight. "And 'cause I couldn't possibly stay away from this excitement, yo! Oni, yes?"

"Nice to meet you," Kirishima says in awe, reaching out to shake Present Mic's offered hand. "Oh, I-I'm meant to be in handcuffs. I'm sorry I'm not in handcuffs."

"It's quite alright," Present Mic says, looking even more delighted when he sees the broken handcuffs on the table. "You're making a name for yourself now but I definitely feel like I've seen you around before, yo? Hm...were you the mysterious hero at the debacle in Fukuoka last year? Or the one who saved all those civilians when a Quirk possessed those builders at the construction site in Hokkaido?"

Kirishima blushes as bright as a tomato, because the truth is, he was both of those people. But he didn't do much! He just ran around and it all seems like a blur now, but maybe he managed to save a few people.

"WHAT THE FUCK," Bakugou yells into oblivion as Chargebolt asks confusedly, "Weren't those both cases where Shoto was the main hero?"

"Oh yeah, I asked Kirishima to come with me both times because I thought his Quirk would be useful," Todoroki says casually, and Kirishima turns even redder, yelping, "TODOROKI, YOU CAN'T TELL THEM THAT-"

"This is so damn interesting, yo," Present Mic says excitedly, meanwhile Eraserhead, who looks like he has a migraine coming on, turns to Shoto and asks him in a steely voice, "So, just how many times have you asked...this man...to accompany you on hero missions?"

Todoroki has to think for a moment, before he starts counting on his fingers, and Kirishima feels ready to die when Bakugou's jaw drops lower and Chargebolt laughs harder with each finger. "Um...I ran out of fingers. But quite a lot."

"Oh my fucking God," Bakugou says, looking like he's in the middle of an existential crisis as he rests fingers on his temples and stares wide-eyed at the floor. "So this supervillain might not even be a supervillain. And he's Half's roommate. And he's saved Japan multiple times-"

"'S-Saved Japan' is a bit of a stretch!" Kirishima interrupts quickly, and Bakugou throws a glare at him but before he can say anything, the door opens again and a head of green curly hair pops in.

"Hey everyone, sorry I'm late!" Deku says brightly, and Shoto goes over to kiss his cheek which has him flushing shyly. "U-Um, Todoroki texted me that Kirishima was here?"

"Deku, you know him?" Eraserhead asks in disbelief, and Deku tilts his head confusedly.

"Of course? He's my boyfriend's roommate. He's awesome!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING," Bakugou yells at the ceiling, and Kirishima really empathises. Why on earth is Deku, number one hero and currently the most revered man in the world, here? Admitting to knowing a supervillain?

"I don't know them!" Kirishima says suddenly, determined to get his friends out of this. "E-Everything they said is a lie, and everything I said was also a lie, I confess right now that I am totally and COMPLETELY a really big and really bad supervillain and you should lock me up, please lock me up, and no-one else because I work alone! Completely and utterly alone!"

There's an unpromising silence as everyone stares at him, so for added effect Kirishima goes, "And, um...grrr!"

Villains growl, right? Kirishima is pretty sure that villains growl.

"Now that whole thing was obviously a lie," Bakugou says, sounding very confused and maybe even a little amused, and Eraserhead has to close his eyes to gather himself. Kirishima droops.

But then Present Mic snaps his fingers and yells in euphoria, "I know where I remember you from! You saved our precious cat from being run over once!"

"He saved Snuffles?" Eraserhead asks quietly, suddenly looking a lot less murderous, and Kirishima tries to remember that because he's saved a lot of cats in his lifetime but he isn't given much of a chance as Present Mic throws himself at Kirishima and hugs him tight.

"Thank you so much, Oni, that little creature is my TREASURE, yo!"

"I'm really glad I got to help," Kirishima says sincerely, wanting to smile for the first time since he got here as he pats Present Mic's back before the guy lets go. The atmosphere in the room has changed a little now, with Chargebolt looking thoroughly amused as he snacks on the cookies, Todoroki and Deku looking firm in their stance of protecting Kirishima, Eraserhead looking all kinds of conflicted, and then there's Bakugou.

His eyes are still fixed on Kirishima, but he doesn't seem so angry anymore. Instead he looks curious, and a little bit perplexed. His eyes are light, calculating but simply in an 'I just want to understand what's going on' kind of way. Kirishima feels his heart flutter in hope.

"Explain why you're called Oni, then," Eraserhead sighs, seemingly as a last resort. "That's a villain name if I've ever heard one."

"Ah, that- that's not something I chose," Kirishima says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "People started calling me that because of my costume, I think, but having a costume that looks like an Oni was actually on purpose."

Suddenly the chair on the other side of the table is being dragged around to be next to Kirishima, and Kirishima's eyes grow wide when Bakugou sits down on it, so close as their knees bump under the tableand he leans in and stares at Kirishima with those narrowed eyes, his chin resting in his palm. Kirishima feels his heart jump into his throat.

"Why?" Bakugou asks, and he doesn't sound accusatory. Simply curious. It calms Kirishima down, and he's able to think that Bakugou's the only person in the room when he locks eyes with him and says, "It's like...there's this one adaption of the tale of the red Oni. He's really passionate, and kind, and he's not bad at all. He likes humans but they don't like him because he's a demon, they're scared of him even though he's done nothing wrong, and it makes him feel like an awful being. But when he saves them all when the town's in danger, they all see who he really is and accept him, and he starts to believe that maybe he's not so bad after all!"

Kirishima smiles, and Bakugou stares at him in wonder. "I want to be a kind red Oni who saves people. And one day, I want to believe that I'm not so bad after all, too."

"Shut up," Bakugou tells him, his ears red, and Kirishima nods miserably. Yeah, Bakugou probably didn't wanna hear all that- "You're perfect."

What. 

WHAT.

"HOLY SHIT, BAKUGOU'S FALLEN FOR THE ACCIDENTAL SUPERVILLAIN!" Chargebolt wheezes, in tears as he has his phone facing them and Eraserhead asks him in seething disbelief, "Are you filming this?"

"Sorry, Teach, the Internet's gotta see this!"

Bakugou gets up and Kirishima immediately misses his presence, but he gets distracted by Present Mic saying, "Anyway, anyway, I got mega sidetracked but the real reason I'm here is because the building is actually currently surrounded by townspeople protesting for this young man's release. They are really not too happy that we've detained him, yo."

Eraserhead looks so exasperated that Kirishima wants to run him a hot bath and put him to bed, meanwhile Bakugou says out of nowhere, "I ain't happy either."

Kirishima's heart sinks.

"You're the one who threw him in here," Todoroki berates, and Bakugou yells back, "WELL I'VE CHANGED MY MIND NOW, HAVEN'T I?!"

"#weknowthetruth is trending on Twitter," Chargebolt chirps. "It's full of people posting about all the times Oni's helped them or saved them from something, or their kid, or their pet. Woah, dude, someone said you saved their python once, what the fuck, I'd be too terrified to go near-"

"Shut your gob, Pikachu," Bakugou says, slapping a hand at Chargebolt's face while his other hand is rapidly tapping at his phone. "I'm booking a reservation and I can't focus."

Eraserhead stares at Bakugou like he's gone mad. "What the hell are you booking a reservation for-"

"Heyo, Kami told us there was a party in here?!" an excited voice cheers as the door opens again, and into the room streams pro-heroes Pinky, Cellophane, and Creati. "Oh wow, this is a fun bunch!"

Eraserhead throws a glare at Chargebolt who chuckles sheepishly and clarifies, "I told them it was a confirming-Oni-isn't-a-villain party! I sent a text to the pro-heroes group chat asking who's ever been on a mission with someone called Kirishima or a redhead that Shoto brought along if they don't know his name, and they should all be coming now to give their witness statements."

"What," Eraserhead says, wide-eyed. "Chargebolt, by 'all', how many heroes do you mean?"

Chargebolt doesn't get a chance to answer as suddenly the door is opening every other second so new faces appear and make their way into the room, all saying hi and getting excited when they see their fellow hero friends, and this suddenly definitely seems like more of a party than anything.

"I COULDN'T BELIEVE THE ATROCITY OF A FATE LIKE THIS BEFALLING SOMEONE AS INCREDIBLE AS KIRISHIMA!" Ingenium yells, slamming an arm down at an exact right angle to the table. "HE IS TRULY AN ASSET AND NOT TO MENTION MORE KIND THAN WORDS CAN SAY!"

"The only things Kirishima kills are walls to open up more exits. Dude's got serious strength," Cellophane says.

"WHY WAS I NEVER AT ANY OF THESE MISSIONS?!" Chargebolt wails.

"He's r-really good with animals and he reminds me of a big dog so it was really nice to save a shelter with him when all the animals accidentally got out. We played with the animals together after," Anima says, quiet and shy.

"We shared earphones to listen to MCR on the train back home after one of our missions together. It was enjoyable," Tsukuyomi says.

"He rescued my dog. I think he's rescued like every single animal in Musutafu at least once," Tentacole says.

As the room fills with chatter and Eraserhead looks more and more pained by each fond witness statement and Kirishima sinks in his seat ready to pass out from all these nice and nauseating feelings swimming around inside him, Bakugou is now the one laughing. He's downright cackling. He looks like he's been told the funniest joke in the entire world as he clutches his sides and wheezes at Kirishima, "Holy fuck, you- you are amazing, you are the bloody best thing that's ever happened to me."

Kirishima's eyes grow mortifyingly big as he has to hide his tomato face in his arms. Is this situation really that funny? Well, at least he's made Bakugou look so happy, and that's a definite win in his heart.

"Kirishima is a darling!" Creati exclaims, finally the last of the heroes. "We saved a mall from a rampaging villain crew one day so we were given a very large discount, so we went about trying all kinds of tea and he let me practise some make-up on him which was truly divine since he has such a lovely face."

"He's fucking gorgeous," Bakugou agrees tenfold, and Kirishima seriously doesn't know what's happening. Bakugou shouldn't even know what he looks like yet, he still has his mask on!

He must be hallucinating. That's right. Having this many people in this small room after all the excitement of today is leaving him lightheaded therefore he is officially hallucinating and hearing things.

But then the door is cut right through and a metal arm punches into the room until the door is thrown off its hinges. "WHERE'S MY BRO?!"

"Tetsu!" Kirishima wails, wondering why the hell Tetsutetsu has to be here too because Kirishima really can't deal with getting 35 heroes as well as his friends amongst those heroes into trouble. But he's so emotional that he can't help but return the hug that Tetsutetsu fiercely gives him, and Eraserhead, already used to random heroes acting like they're best friends with this enigma of a suspect, asks a deadpan, "Real Steel, are you also here to give a statement in Oni's favour?"

"Yes! He's an awesome bro and a manly dude so anything that you do to him, you better do to me too!" Tetsutetsu asserts, and Kirishima yelps, "DUDE, NO!"

"Kirishima, this is the least I can do. If they're throwing you into jail for being you then I wanna be there too 'cause that means I'm on the same level as someone as incredible as you, you got it?!"

"Tetsu," Kirishima sniffs, touched to all hell as him and Tetsutetsu grab hands. Bakugou is wheezing again. 

"Alright, so that's settled! Eraser and I are pretty much in charge of your conviction unless the police want to change anything from our report which they barely ever do so how about, hmmm, assuming you definitely want to be a licensed hero, we give you a chance to do an exam we set up? Then we can put you on probation and see how you do, yo!" Present Mic cheers, clapping his hands excitedly, and Eraserhead stares at him.

"H-Hizashi, you can't just-"

"FUCK yes," Bakugou says in very loud agreement, slamming his hands down on the table and staring Kirishima right in the eye like a predator sizing up its prey. "I'm gonna teach you every single thing you need to know, you beautiful bastard."

"Wha- Bakugou! Are you cheating on your barista?!" Pinky accuses, and Kirishima bristles at the fact that it...seems like Bakugou's told other people about him? And maybe even implied that they're in a relationship? 

He is so dead. This is heaven. He can't remember how he died but this is definitely heaven.

Bakugou leans back and crosses his arms, looking very smug when he states, "This is my barista."

The whole room explodes at the same time that Kirishima's brain does. He can only sit there as Cellophane and Chargebolt holler and shake Kirishima about, and Deku looks like he's crying and saying something about how, "Kacchan's all grown up, he's gonna have a boyfriend and it's someone as good as KIRISHIMA," and everyone else is whaling on Bakugou and telling him he's definitely nabbed a 'keeper'.

Meanwhile all Kirishima can hear is 'my barista' echoing over and over in his head.

Firstly, Bakugou knows. Bakugou knows that the 'supervillain' sitting in this interrogation room right now is the barista who serves him coffee most mornings. And secondly, Bakugou just called Kirishima his.

He would melt into a puddle of goo right now if Tetsutetsu didn't have such a firm hold of his shoulders.

"Now that we're all revealing secrets like Oni's true identity and his help on our missions and Bakugou's very-obvious-and-not-actually-all-that-secret infatuation," Todoroki suddenly pipes up, "I have something I want to say. I'm going to quit being a hero and open a soba restaurant. I invite you all to come eat there when it's ready."

The whole room erupts for the second time in five minutes as as everyone crowds around Todoroki to pat him on the back and tell him how awesome that would be, with Deku giving him a massive celebratory kiss that has Todoroki so flustered he sets his own hand on fire by accident. Kirishima looks at them jealously because he wants to be a part of Todoroki's congratulatory circle too, but Eraserhead is still in front of him looking completely devastated along with a still bubbly Present Mic and a now bored-looking Bakugou.

"Are we done yet?" Bakugou asks Eraser impatiently, tapping his foot against the ground. "I've got somewhere I wanna take Kirishima so hurry the fuck up."

Oh God. Finally back to reality. Kirishima isn't ready to be taken to a cell yet. He wishes he could find a way to elongate this interrogation, but he's also dangerously close to passing out.

"I think there's still some things we need to go through..." Eraserhead tries, though he doesn't sound very convincing. But then suddenly, his sleepy eyes widen a little. "Hold on. What's the name that you all keep calling him by?"

"Kirishima?" Deku provides helpfully, and Eraserhead nods.

"What's his full name?"

"Kirishima Eijirou!"

"Yeah, he's not a supervillain. Let's go report this, meeting adjourned, we will contact you shortly, Kirishima," Eraserhead concludes rapidly, before closing his file and grabbing Present Mic so he can drag him out the door, with Present Mic shooting finger guns at everyone with a loud, "STAY GROOVY!"

And Kirishima sits there, wondering what the hell just happened. Why did Eraser deduce that by his name? He'd never done a mission with the guy before, had he? Or even talked to him before? Other than...

No, Kirishima thinks, shaking his head. There's no way he remembers me from that phone call when I was a kid.

He wants to think about it some more, when suddenly a hand is grabbing his and pulling him up and out the room. Kirishima's eyes widen when he realises it's Bakugou, and he inwardly groans. He was so naive for thinking things were finally over. Bakugou probably has the power to convict Kirishima himself, he's probably dragging him to the police now so they can discuss his fate. Kirishima swallows the lump in his throat, trying so, so hard not to cry, when Bakugou looks back at him and stops right in his tracks.

"Shit," Bakugou panics when he sees a tear roll down Kirishima's jaw. "Forgot to explain myself. Uh, hold on."

Bakugou steps to stand in front of him, and reaches out a hand. Kirishima winces as he waits for an explosion to hit him - but all that happens is that his mask comes off. Kirishima blinks, then bites back a yell when Bakugou takes hold of his face, brushing away Kirishima's tears with his thumbs.

"I liked you when you were just a barista. I'm borderline in fucking love with you after today," Bakugou tells him, and Kirishima's eyes grow wide. "Go out with me. I mean- please, go out with me."

Kirishima's not sure if his brain can handle this right now. He still sort of thinks he's hallucinating, but Bakugou's touch feels so real, so warm, and his face is so close that if Kirishima leans in just a little, they could kiss. They could kiss and Kirishima's heart would burst and they'd live happily ever after.

"You better say yes," Bakugou says, though his voice is trembling a little. He sounds insecure, because Kirishima definitely knows what insecurity sounds like, but why would Bakugou ever be insecure? "I got us reservations for dinner. Super fancy restaurant."

"Oh," Kirishima says hoarsely, finally finding his voice which makes Bakugou perk up a little. "S-So, you- you knew. You knew who I was, right? During the interrogation?"

"I only knew for sure after you smiled," Bakugou says, looking a bit put-out by the fact that Kirishima had skated past the date offer, "when you were telling the Oni story. I'd recognise your smile anywhere. And I can't believe this was how I had to learn what your name is. I wanted to ask you what it is for so long. Curse your stupid coffee shop for not havin' name-tags."

"I've liked you," Kirishima says dizzily, feeling a little drunk, "since I was fifteen and saw you on TV. I liked you before I even knew what romance really meant. I thought you were so cool and I just really wanted to hold your hand."

Bakugou's usually sharp eyes are now so lost and wide, his cheeks turning a peculiar pink colour. But then he slams a fist against the wall and growls, "No. No. No, fuck you, no, I've been the one pining, not you. Don't you fucking dare say shit like that when I've been enchanted by you for almost a year. I went to that coffee shop every week but once you got there, I went every day, 'n you better be giving me money for miles 'cause I'm based in fucking Tokyo, not Musutafu, damn it!"

"Yeah but I've liked you for five years, I think I win," Kirishima laughs in a daze, sincerely trying not to think about the fact that Bakugou drives an hour each morning just to see him. 

Oh man. It's very hard not to think about that. 

"But why...why would you like me? You're Dynamight and I'm nothing special, I'm not-"

"Stop it," Bakugou immediately shuts him down. "You're sweet, pretty, funny, 'n you got a smile that makes me wanna take on the world. And that was just you as a barista. Now I know you've also got a badass Quirk, you're strong as shit, you've saved what sounds like millions of people - I'm ready to bloody propose right now."

"O-Oh God, please don't," Kirishima insists desperately, clutching Bakugou's shoulders to keep himself upright. "I'm...super tired and I don't think I'm feeling well so if you do that then I probably won't be able to stay alive anymore so if you can please save that for later - like m-maybe a few months or, um, years later - then that'd be super swell and awesome and cool of you-"

"Ah, right. You look kinda pale," Bakugou says worriedly, hitching one of Kirishima's arms around his shoulders and wrapping one of his own around Kirishima's waist. "Forget the reservation. I'm takin' you home 'n we'll watch a movie-"

Bakugou freezes when Kirishima leans in suddenly and kisses him, square on the lips. He does this because two things had run through Kirishima's head while Bakugou was talking:

1. If he doesn't take the opportunity to make out with this amazing stud of a man right now and he really does wake up with none of this having ever happened, he'll die.

2. Bakugou looks so sweet (and sweaty) when he's nervous, eyes flitting left and right as a blush dashes his skin and his teeth worry slightly at his lower lip. And the reason he's nervous is because he likes Kirishima. He really likes him.

Kirishima doesn't think he's ever been this happy in his entire life.

Bakugou kisses him back slow, his arm around Kirishima clutching tighter as Kirishima tries to push himself up a little higher, wanting to be all tall and cool for his first kiss with this very tall cool man (Bakugou's only an inch taller than him but Kirishima's trying to make a point), and Bakugou grins against him like he's amused. Kirishima's heart beats out of his chest, and he decides that that's definitely the best part of the kiss. Being able to feel Bakugou's smile on his lips.

"You're gonna become a hero," Bakugou breathes the instant they break apart. "You'll become one of the best. I'll fuckin' see to it myself."

"I can't believe I'm getting everything I've ever wanted a-all in one day," Kirishima laughs in broken disbelief, voice catching and eyesight going blurry, and it both grounds him and sends him right into space when Bakugou presses their lips together again.

"You deserved this way earlier. God, I'm blind, and shit, I even yelled at you like that earlier when you were just tryna tell me the truth- fuck, I'm so so-"

"No, dude, please please don't apologise, I'm the one who's sorry. You've been turmoiling over this villain stuff for so long and it just turned out to be nothing..."

"And I bet you were worried as fuck that I was after you. We both had our fair share of troubles," Bakugou concludes, and Kirishima guesses that's true. "So fuck apologies. I want us cuddling 'n watching Tangled, stat."

For all the excitement that he's been through today, the thing that finally pushes Kirishima over the edge of unconsciousness is hearing Bakugou Katsuki, the manliest person in the world, saying the word 'cuddling'.

"AHHHH, BAKUGOU KILLED KIRISHIMA!" Chargebolt screams as the door to the interrogation room opens right on cue, and Bakugou's eyes widen before he quickly gathers Kirishima up into his arms and has to run from an angry mob of Kirishima-lovers while he yells, "HE'S NOT DEAD, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, LEAVE US ALONE!" 

"STOP HOGGING HIM ALL TO YOURSELF!" 

"FUCK YOU, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GONNA DO!"

Except Bakugou doesn't get to do that because he's suddenly being swarmed by reporters, and when Kirishima dizzily comes to a few moments later, the first thing he hears is someone asking, "So Oni really isn't a supervillain?" 

"Red...Red Riot," Kirishima says before Bakugou can answer, and everyone looks at him. "The hero name I always wanted to have was- is Red Riot."

Bakugou grins at him, and tells the reporter, "You heard it straight from the guy himself. Red Riot is a hero." 

Kirishima feels a wave of emotion build up so suddenly in his chest at those words, and when tears spill from his eyes this time, he grins bright too and flexes his arms, telling the sea of people all listening to him, "Hell yeah I am!" 

A laugh ripples over the charmed crowd as Kirishima tilts his head back to grin up at Bakugou who looks exasperatedly fond of him, saying, "I'm glad you being an idiot hasn't changed with this double identity of yours," and he carefully sets him back on his feet but not before he kisses Kirishima's forehead. That garners an explosive reaction from the crowd, but then the pro-heroes storm the place and Kirishima and Bakugou disappear with them, laughing loudly as they all race through the streets and talk about throwing a real party this time to honour Kirishima finally being able to become a real hero.

If someone told him yesterday that all his unluckiness would amount to a day like today, Kirishima would've laughed right in their face. Because how could an unlucky insecure coward like him ever get an ending this perfect? 

I don't know the answer to that, Kirishima says as he grabs Bakugou's hand and Bakugou gives him a grin equal parts happily feral and so hopelessly lovesick that it makes his heart race, but I'm not gonna waste my time wondering.