Chapter Text
Chapter 1
With a cheerful grin, Daya waved goodbye to her teammates, climbing into her car and letting the smile drop and her head hit the steering wheel as soon as the door was closed. This whole situation was ridiculous. Despite having the perfect insta-life, Daya felt like she was falling apart.
Applying to Love Island was supposed to change her life for the better and, in many ways, it had. But the main reason she’d wanted to go on was to meet someone to build a life with, and in spite of winning with AJ things right now were far from perfect. When they landed back in London things were great, the blissful doe-eyed honeymoon stage seeming like it would never end. They had quickly moved in together, using their winnings to buy a modest two-bedroom flat and christening every surface like a couple of horny teenagers. God, it was almost sickening how in love they were.
And now? Now Daya hasn’t heard from AJ for 3 and a half weeks. Almost a month with not a word spoken between them, and over something so stupid too, it just didn’t make any sense. AJ had left, stormed out really, after what should have been something trivial that they had allowed to fester, burrowing itself between them until it had imploded, causing nasty words to be spoken and too many tears to count.
“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal of this, we see each other all the time, we live together for God's sake.”
“That’s not the same thing and you know it, God. I wake up in our bed alone every morning and heaven forbid you’re actually willing to spend time with me when you finally do get home. I can’t go on like this!”
“Are you hearing yourself right now? We’ve talked about this, you know I’ll only be able to play at this level for so long, I have to keep myself in top condition or everything I’ve worked for will be for nothing!”
“Do you think I want to do this?! Stop dismissing me!” Daya could feel the tears coming but couldn’t bring herself to force them back down. “AJ, do you honestly think I enjoy being this nagging housewife?! I am fighting tooth and nail to make a relationship work with a woman who actively avoids spending time with me!”
AJ rolled her eyes, a snarl twisting her face into something Daya no longer recognised. “Trust me Daya, if I was avoiding you I wouldn’t be here.”
“Why are you then?”
“What?”
Daya sniffled. Feeling broken, she sighed deeply and stood up, gesturing weakly to the door AJ had come through only 10 minutes earlier.
“Why are you here? Things between us obviously aren’t working. When you agreed to a date night tonight I thought that maybe it was a sign you were finally ready to give a little again but I was obviously wrong. I cooked your favourite dinner, I picked a film for us to watch, Christ, I even wore a dress that I know you like me in, and this is what happens? You turn up two hours late, you’ve clearly just been at the gym, and when I ask what’s going on with you you immediately jump down my throat. I just…” Daya shook her head, “I just don’t want this for us, I never wanted this for us.”
AJ swallowed hard. “Right. Well, thank you for making your feelings clear. I’m going to go and stay somewhere else tonight. Obviously you don’t want me here and honestly I don’t think I do either. I thought we were a team.” She hissed, her girlfriend’s distress doing nothing to quell her anger. “I thought that you of all people would understand how important hockey is to me. If I’d have known you’d become such a bitter, resentful bitch about me trying to make a success of myself I’d have left a lot sooner. I thought us being together would push me to get better but this? This is doing the exact opposite.”
Daya let out an incredulous laugh, the pitch unnatural in it’s fury. “Seriously? You think I’m holding you back? I am the best fucking thing that ever happened to you AJ, and I need you to leave. Now.”
“Excuse me? You can’t kick me out of my own flat.”
“Yes I fucking can. You said you were going to stay with a friend tonight so just go. And while you’re sleeping on some sofa I want you to really think about what you want, because this? Whatever this is, I’m done with it.” Daya stepped closer, green eyes steely with resolve. “I wouldn’t put up with this from any of my exes and I’m sure as hell not going to put up with it from you. If you want to talk this out then great, let’s do that, but I am not getting in another argument with you just for you to walk away again. I won’t do it.”
AJ opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, eyes swivelling around the room, taking in the dining table that Daya had lovingly set, the now-cold lasagne that sat in the middle, and finally, to the empty wine bottle next to candles that had long since burnt out.
“Fine. Whatever.” She picked up the kit bag that had been discarded by her feet, adrenaline and anger still coursing dangerously through her system, and stomped over to the door.
“AJ”
The other woman turned around, one eyebrow raised in an angry challenge.
“If you leave, don’t bother coming back unless you’re willing to fix this. I mean it. If you’re not willing to try then we’re done.”
Daya watched her go, fists clenched by her sides and nails digging painfully into her palms. She sank to her knees when the door slammed behind AJ, an anguished sob tearing from her throat.
So. It’s been 3 and a half weeks since Daya McKay had spoken to her girlfriend. Well, she thought bitterly, if she even was her girlfriend any more.
Honestly, she had been hopeful that there would be some sort of communication from AJ when she woke up. But when her phone remained free of texts and calls the following day a deep uneasiness began to settle within her. Usually when they fought, which was unfortunately quite often recently, AJ would send something in the morning, even if it was a simple ‘Sorry about before, babe, love you.’ Daya was the same, always eager to put the arguments behind them and move on. This time was different though, and she was terrified that there was no coming back for them.
In another poor decision for her mental wellbeing, Daya had, the morning after AJ left, proclaimed herself to be “fine, just tired” when her coach had asked if she was okay. When her friends had said she looked rough she had merely shrugged and said she’d had a fight with her girlfriend. Ever the people-pleaser, she had massively downplayed how serious her relationship problems were and now had backed herself into a corner of pretending everything was fine. It had left her exhausted as well as heartbroken.
Dragged from her self-pity by the buzzing of her phone, Daya sighed sadly when it was, yet again, not AJ.
“Hello?”
“Wow, sound less pleased to speak to me, I beg of you.”
“Sorry” she winced, trying to inject some happiness to her voice. “How are you, Viv? It’s good to hear from you, really.”
“Sure it is.”
In her mind Daya could vividly see the concerned frown that would be gracing her best friend's features.
“So, what’s up? We only spoke last week.”
Genevieve huffed but decided to allow her the subject change. “Isn’t it obvious? I want to talk to you about the boat party! And don’t groan, I know you were about to!”
“I…”
“I knew it!” She chuckled, “Come on, it’ll be fun! Even Seb is excited and you know how much of a downer he can be. He and Nicky are going to do their podcast from the yacht, a different one of us is going to guest every episode.”
“Viv, I really don’t think I can…”
“Nonsense, you need a holiday, you sound worse every time we talk. Plus, Elladine made sure she booked the yacht for the one week we could guarantee you’re free, spoke to Mel and everything.”
“I’m sorry, she what?” At the thought of her friends going behind her back and speaking to one of her coaches Daya’s blood boiled. “You can’t do that!”
Viv’s tone immediately turned placating. “Look, usually I would agree and I’d be pissed off too, but this was extenuating circumstances.” When her friend snorted she continued “Okay, I’m sorry that we stooped this low but we didn’t have a choice. You’ve been avoiding us all for weeks now and we miss you! This way, you can’t say ‘no’ and don’t think for a second that I don’t know you’re scrambling for an excuse to get out of it.”
“Just because you miss me doesn’t give you the right to go behind my back and talk to my boss! I can’t believe you!”
“Daya please.” Genevieve paused for a moment, trying to conjure up the right words. “It’s… it’s not just because we miss you… Because I miss you. I’m worried about you. You’ve been dodging my calls, and you haven’t posted anything that isn’t football-related for at least a month. It’s not like you, something bigger must be going on.”
“...I’m fine Viv.”
“You’re not fine. I don’t have to be face-to-face with you to know you’re lying to me. Is it about AJ? Are things okay with you guys?”
“What?” She had never concentrated so hard on keeping her face and tone neutral before. “Why would you think that?”
“I’m just throwing some ideas around, and it makes sense, right? Why you would be avoiding all of us villa lot unless you and AJ had a fight?”
“I…” Daya sighed, “Have you spoken to AJ recently?”
“Not really, just what she’s said in the group chat, but I think her and Seb are in touch a lot. Am I right? Is that what’s up?”
This was it, her chance to unload on a friend who would listen freely and without judgment, to get everything she was feeling off her chest. “Kind of? I just…”
Suddenly, there was a cacophony of noise in the background, an alarm of some description blaring loudly into their ears. Genevieve swore quietly, and Daya heard her speaking urgently to someone in the background before she returned to the call, the sound of her footsteps hurrying along a corridor.
“Daya? Fuck, I’m so sorry, I have to go, one of my patients is crashing. I’ll call you later, okay? Love you!” The line went dead.
“Well, shit.” She blinked, looking at her phone. The picture of her and Genevieve laughing faded as the call cleared, leaving Daya looking at AJ’s face and close to tears.
She had taken the picture early on in their relationship, their first weekend together truly alone. It had been perfect, just the two of them in an adorable B&B in the countryside. They had barely left the room, choosing instead to stay in bed and just talk, sharing their dreams in between lingering kisses and touches that made them dizzy. The picture Daya had chosen for her phone was taken in that very bed, the sheets covering AJ’s perfect body, golden hair looking appropriately mussed. Her sparkling brown eyes were screwed up tight, one hand curling around a glass of champagne while the other was held in front of her as she blew a kiss.
Daya stared at her phone until the screen went black, heart aching. On the one hand, if she went on this holiday she’d be around her friends, be able to leave her stresses in the UK, but on the other? Well, for one thing, how was she even supposed to interact with her (ex?) girlfriend when she still had no idea where they stood? All she wanted was to talk to AJ, but the little pride she had left wouldn’t allow her to make the first move. Instead she picked her phone back up and opened the ‘Love Island Baaaaaaaabes’ group chat. It looked like everyone was indeed committed to going on holiday together, with only 2 significant absences. With an almost immediate pang of regret Daya sent a message, quickly muting the chat and throwing her phone onto the passenger seat.
‘Can’t wait! See you all soon! Xoxo’