Archive of Our Own

1. Wymack

Andrew often reminded him that he wasn’t paid enough to care about his Foxes’ private business, and he was usually happy to go without any Minyard or Josten related dirty details in particular. But somehow, possibly thanks to his position as Coach, David Wymack was privy to more than enough secrets that he had never tried to care about.

This wasn’t limited to Wesninskis and Moriyamas or kidnappings and court cases, either. That was not what David considered the worst of it. That was his business, was much more than the personal matters of his kids and something that affected their place here, that caused an upset for the whole team. He could remind himself this was the life he’d signed up for when he chose to coach the most reckless group of misfits he could find, and while he certainly wasn’t paid enough for that aspect of the job, it was part of it. The midget could wave around his knives and claim otherwise, but David wasn’t giving in on that.

But then there were real personal matters. The aspects of his team’s lives that he didn’t want and definitely didn’t need to know or care about.

He knew, being involved with a group of old teens or young adults, that he could not control the relationships that formed and that they would occur. He knew Dan, his lovely captain, and Matt, the giant made of mush, were romantically entangled as soon as they were romantically entangled. This never made him bat an eye; they were mature, they were sweet, they probably wouldn’t defile his locker rooms (and if they did, they’d be respectable and good at hiding it). They were steady, together, they wouldn’t cause drama. Seth and Allison had been a more grimace-inducing type of drama, but still bearable.

Renee was a bit of a wild card, and David could never actually tell what was going on there, but the most relationship drama she had been involved in was salvaging a raven from its nest, and she had, blessedly, done even that with minimal drama on David’s part. He knew from early on that she could do whatever she wanted and he wouldn’t be forced to know.

The cousins showing up threw a wrench in the works, but David had never worried about them forming dodgy romantic relationships. Nicky might have flirted with the school’s whole male population and his own reflection, but the most drama David had been subjected to on that front was being forced to overhear a few lewd comments and long lamentations about a long-distance boyfriend. Aaron was grumpy and quiet and never strayed far enough from his family to try, until Katelyn, who was sweet enough for David to actually like.

He’d been convinced that Andrew would have killed anyone who lay a fingertip on him, and that he himself would be a victim if he so much as suggested such a question to Andrew. In that sense, he’d always been grateful for Andrew’s ruthless desire for privacy.

Neil had mucked that up a bit, and while it weirded David the fuck out at first, it had been surprisingly unsurprising. They were both private. They both, somehow, made it less likely the other would kill or be killed. He supposed. Whatever, it worked, and they might have been something close to happy, so David wouldn’t pry.

Ignorance remained bliss, once the initial drama was out of the way.

The one person David had never even thought to have to worry about was Kevin. His son. Hurt and healing, but still helplessly devoted to his sport and his image. The one relationship he’d had was rarely mentioned and inevitably ended, anyway. Kevin would not risk relationship drama and any resulting form of press. It didn’t have to be bad, necessarily, not for Kevin. Any press that didn’t revolve around his exy career was bad.

It was different with Kevin. Kevin wasn’t just one of his Foxes; he never had been, not really, even before David knew the truth. But when Kevin was confirmed family, the ‘not paid enough’ didn’t seem like a sufficient excuse not to care. David usually worried about Kevin the most.

But when it came to relationships, Kevin was the one person he didn’t have to worry about.

So why the fuck was it Kevin standing in his locker room with a goddamn hickey?

It was impolite to stare, and honestly, he didn’t want to know. He really, really, did not want to know. But it was right there, right at eye level, because Kevin was so damn tall, and David did not want to know, but there was the unignorable perplexity, the gnawing need to know who on Earth this person was and what they had done with his all-business, no-nonsense son. Did that even make it his business? Kevin was an adult, and he didn’t need a parent monitoring his...personal life. Kevin liked that David remained first and foremost his coach. He was trustworthy, he was a support, he was as much of a teacher as Kevin needed at this point. He could provide a home, he could provide hope; he had already provided both. Coach, father. They were almost synonymous anyway.

Did it matter? He didn’t need to know.

David pursed his lips, eyeing the small, dark mark. Unremarkable. Unmissable. Unexpected. Unusual.

There was no one else in the locker room.

“Kevin,” he said.

Kevin jumped slightly, even though he knew David was there, and turned to look at him. Maybe he hadn’t realised David had stopped rather than simply passing through, maybe he thought he was alone again. Kevin wasn’t as skittish as Neil, but was simultaneously more easily startled. He was still jumpy. There was still lingering fear.

This was what mattered.

“Yes?” Kevin asked.

Had Kevin said ‘yes’ to that hickey? Had the giver bothered to ask? Did Kevin even know it was there? David felt doubt. He told himself it was only bloody human that Kevin had wants and needs and tended to them, and then recoiled from that train of thought before it got too far off the rails. Kevin might have just been drunk, but that wasn’t an explanation or an improvement, and Kevin was drinking less and less. But if it had been truly unwanted, if it had been something bad, Kevin wouldn’t look so clear-eyed and content, would he?

Wesninskis and Moriyamas and nightmares, Jostens and Minyards and horror stories poked at the back of his mind. They were a question and an answer. No, it didn’t seem likely that this was unwanted, at least in the sense of harm. Even now, when Kevin was in this locker room with him ‘alone’, Andrew was unlikely to be far and Neil was likely to be no more than a step behind.

This thought should have been the first clue.

David cleared his throat and then gestured at it. “You know you’ve got a little something…?”

Kevin blinked at him for a moment, brows furrowed, before the eyes underneath widened and he slapped a hand to his neck. This answered one question, at least. A furious blush crept over Kevin’s cheeks next. This answered another. Kevin opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and began to sputter. This was enough.

“I don't need to know,” David waved him off, wincing slightly. “Unless there’s something you feel you need to tell me, I don’t need to know.”

Understanding washed apprehension away as slowly as Kevin lowered his hand. It was acknowledgment of the reassurance; David was not a dictator, and Kevin could have a life that he owned that was not owed, with support. It was recognition of the attempt to lighten the mood and remain on familiar ground.

“Above your paygrade,” Kevin agreed easily, with a faint uptick to his lips, in a manner so lightly joking and fondly familiar that contentment was visible even in the dryness.

This should have been the second clue.

David grunted. “You know I break that rule a lot. You tell me if you’re not okay.”

Because the jumpy-ness had still heightened. Kevin’s scarred hand twitched in the way it sometimes did when phantom pain slipped in alongside panic, but instead it was in the desire to raise and cover that mark. It was comforting, however, that he seemed more mortified than terrified. David watched as he pulled a high-necked shirt from his locker and shook it out.

He also softened long enough to give David a nod and open his mouth once more, before pursing his lips and offering a smile instead. And another nod.

David narrowed his eyes just slightly, for a moment, and then nodded back. He left his son to his own devices and went out to begin wrangling his Foxes.

He passed Neil in the hallway.

Neil slowed as he saw him, but didn’t stop. “Is he still in there?”

David nodded and watched Neil pass him, muttering under his breath. He wasn’t sure why, but he had stopped in the hallway. Because surely it didn’t matter beyond amusement, to listen to someone bitch at Kevin about Exy for once, but he waited to hear what they had to say.

Eavesdropping on his players was probably a good way to lose his pay-grade, but they were in his damn court and they were two of his three biggest nuisances and they weren’t the ones who told him what to do.

Because if he simply thought about it, he would recognise that it was Wednesday morning and understand that the only place Kevin had been the night before was night practice. Anything could have transpired between evening practice—when Kevin did not have that mark—and then, but Kevin would not have missed it, and would have been too dead on his feet to do anything but collapse onto his bed afterwards. It was likely that the only people Kevin had seen in that time were his teammates, and it was even more likely that this pool of people was narrowed down to Andrew and Neil.

If he simply thought about it, this would have been the third (and most obvious) clue.

But he didn’t have to think when he knew, and he didn’t have to ask when he could just listen.

“What’s taking you so long?” Neil demanded, distant but entirely audible. “If this was me, you would’ve been biting my head off ten minutes ago.”

Kevin’s voice was quieter. “Don’t get pissy with me.”

“Why not?” This demand had more ruffled feathers; it bordered on petulance. Even in the stubbornness, Neil had also easily given leeway and also matched Kevin in volume. “Are you trying some role reversal? Andrew won’t play it with you.”

Kevin ignored the last part and lowered his tone to a hiss. “Because it’s your fault!”

“My fault that you’re having a hissy fit for some reason?”

“Yes,” Kevin said emphatically. “You and your damn neck fetish.”

David drew in a breath and was surprised to find himself unsurprised. This was not a clue. This was what he actually did not need to know.

There was a brief pause, and then Neil said, “I asked you. You said yes. You certainly didn’t complain.”

“I know but I didn’t think.”

David would have begun to feel angry here, probably, if Neil didn’t sound so concerned. “What do you mean?”

“Then it was fine, it was great, obviously I was going to say yes, I knew I could just wear a collar, or whatever,” Kevin babbled. “But then I forgot, or at least I wasn’t aware enough, and Dad just saw and asked me about it.”

David had a moment to feel something about Kevin easily referring to him as ‘Dad’ before Neil was speaking in the same hushed tone and he remembered he was definitely not supposed to be listening.

“What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. He let it go right away, just wanted to know if I was okay.”

He heard Neil go ‘huh’ in a vaguely contemplative way. “Why are you freaking out, then? Does it matter so much if he knows, anyway?”

“I don’t know. Maybe not. But Neil, it’s embarrassing.”

A huff of laughter followed. It was unfamiliar; it took David a moment to realise it was Neil’s. The following response was also Neil’s, but it was in French, and Kevin’s retort joined in, though it sounded a lot more like swears. Then the words dissipated, and silence was left, except there was not silence, because kissing was only ever so quiet.

At this point, there were no clues needed, and David definitely did not want to know any more. He hightailed it out to the court.

Then he quickly laid eyes on the third nuisance.

Andrew was busy talking to Renee and didn’t even glance at David as he entered, though David was sure he was noticed, because Andrew would be waiting for Kevin, and he would definitely be waiting for Neil. Even though it was in the realm of ‘not-paid-enough-etc.’, David knew about Andrew and Neil.

David knew what was happening in the locker room behind him, and it was not Andrew and Neil.

Questions and wariness arose once more.

He cleared his throat, shoved down his discomfort and rallied his team. It was better to be normal, and get them moving, and not emphasise Neil and Kevin’s absence or eventual entry. It was not that he believed Andrew would miss a thing, but it gave him some comfort to at least pretend he was helping to respect his son’s privacy. He wondered if it was possible to protect his life. Andrew usually considered that his job, as far as David knew, so if Andrew was the one on the end of the knife?

Kevin was probably just stuffed. Maybe David should begin mourning now.

If he’d taken more time to think about it, he would have lingered on that acknowledgment that Andrew never missed a thing; especially not with Kevin and Neil.

The fourth clue—though David, again, did not recognise it at the time—would have been when Neil and Kevin finally made their entry. David had to pinch his nose. They did not care about being disruptive, rendering his attempts at keeping them subtle useless. They barged through bickering, and of course Andrew’s eyes had moved the instant the door opened anyway. They were the only indicators of emotion in Andrew’s expressions, which was really only an expression of apathy since he’d come off the drugs, and they showed no surprise. No question or apprehension. Certainly no murderous intent. If David could have looked closer, he might have even had a chance of recognising the flash of fondness in the vague exasperation, as undeniable as it was.

Instead he remained faintly uneasy and barked at Kevin and Neil for being late and for being idiots, and ordered them into the fray. The team’s complaints and joking comments about the two most driven members taking a sudden lazy fit and perhaps having been abducted and switched out for clones went ignored. Neil threw some of his relentless speed into his laps to make up for the time he’d lost, while Kevin was the one to fall into step alongside Andrew. It took David a moment to recognise that this was not unusual.

This, probably, should have been the fifth clue.

As where he had just witnessed Neil and Kevin and fretted over Andrew and Neil, it was now Kevin and Andrew. There was no hitch in any of these dynamics, nor was there anything unusual. David heard Andrew toss a scathing remark at Kevin for his unusual laziness as they passed, and Kevin retorted by reminding Andrew it was much better than his usual laziness.

No knives were pulled. His son-slash-star-striker remained intact.

David’s brow tensed as his shoulders loosened.

It was right there, he knew. There was something he was missing, but it must have been right in front of him. Would there be a sixth clue, or simply another answer?

Because he was looking now, they were one and the same.

By the time they started playing, Kevin and Neil were back to their bickering and the rest of the team were reeled in by one or the other. Rapid words were exchanged in French, and then Neil was calling down the court to Andrew in Russian, and Andrew’s apathetic response in English had Kevin stomping towards him.

David only interfered in his players’ own tiffs and comments if it seemed it would get out of hand, but when it came to Andrew he often let Neil handle it, and when it came to Kevin he often let Andrew handle it. It was unusual to be worrying that this may be a grave mistake, as Kevin whispered to Andrew harshly and Andrew responded calmly and simply riled Kevin up more. David briefly wondered if Kevin simply had a death wish and if, as his coach and father, this was something he should have known and been concerned about.

But instead of knives, Andrew dug a finger into the base of Kevin’s throat. It would have looked like one of his threatening reprimands to someone who didn’t know better. But although the mark was covered now, David knew that was exactly where it was. Which meant it was not a reprimand, but some kind of reminder.

It did not come as a revelation; David simply recognised that of course, Andrew would have already known.

They were far enough away from any of their other team members so their murmurs wouldn’t be heard, but the minimal movement of Andrew’s lips suggested he was being particularly quiet now. This likely would be perceived as the threat. But under Andrew’s threats, Kevin paled and/or sulked. He did not ever even appear abashed. He certainly did not blush.

This time, he was as red as a fire truck.

There was not murder in Andrew’s eyes, but there might have been a brief hint of satisfaction, if David had been close enough. The plexiglass, he was beginning to understand, was a rather irritating hindrance, despite it being a necessary safety measure. It did not quite hide what must have been a smirk by Andrew’s standards, a barely there uptick of the mouth that bared amusement.

Kevin muttered something else, and Andrew patted his cheek and shooed him away.

None of the other Foxes blinked.

David blinked.

Kevin still seemed to be sulking, slightly, as he went about the rest of practice with a scowl, but less scolding. David wondered, with a faint shudder, if the threats Andrew doled out had simply taken on a new nature. Neil grinned across the space at Andrew, which was not unusual and therefore not commented upon, and he winked in response to Kevin’s grumbling, which was slightly unusual and also not commented upon. Andrew began putting effort in and didn’t throw the ball back at Kevin’s head when Kevin beamed at him.

David sat down heavily on the team bench and scrubbed a hand over his face. This was muddled territory. This seemed complicated and crazy enough to fit the need-to-know category, as much as it did the not-paid-enough one.

It felt natural and normal enough to expect from his complicated and crazy players.

When it had been unknown, David could let it keep going without knowing. When it had been Kevin and Neil, David could have interfered with a warning or kept going without knowing to avoid implicating himself.

If it was Kevin and Neil and Andrew, what the hell did that even mean?

It didn’t matter whether he wasn’t supposed to know if he already knew.

He certainly wasn’t paid enough to care this damn much.

By the end of practice, through which David had mainly switched his focus between the three boys without any actual attention on the game, he felt that he had mostly absorbed this new information. That he had come to terms and understood it (even though it was impossible to understand it). He felt much more calm as his team fled back to the locker rooms, enough to feel the rush of fondness when Kevin ‘shoved’ Neil through the doors with too much gentleness and Andrew rolled his eyes as he trailed behind them.

That did not mean he knew what to do about it.

This answer came when most of the Foxes had left, Dan and Nicky being the only two with enough remaining energy and bubbling warmth to call a ‘bye coach!’ through his open office door as they passed. He returned Renee’s wave and small smile and caught onto the brief flash of blond hair.

“Andrew,” he called. “Might as well take a seat to wait instead of trying to scare the cobwebs from my corridors. Come in here.”

They both knew it was a suggestion and not an order; a request at most. It was not usually one David made. He knew that Andrew enjoyed being contradictory too much, and that, combined with asking Andrew to share a bit of himself, was likely to result in a no. Or, even more likely, an entire lack of acknowledgment.

He also knew, that perhaps due to Andrew’s intense desire for control and upper-hands and privacy, the young man could not help but be intensely curious. David had surprised him, and that was enough to earn results.

Andrew slid into the room and very purposefully did not take a seat.

He stood and stared at David with folded arms instead, bored if not for the glint of a question in his gaze. It was all suddenly so predictable that David was unfazed.

“I don’t actually know how you wrangle my strikers,” he admitted with a sigh.

Andrew raised a brow. This was not enough to earn results.

“But I always expect, and I trust,” he said carefully, “that you are still and will continue to look after my son.”

For a moment, Andrew merely stared at him. It took only this moment for understanding to sink in. Andrew was quicker than him; it must have been something about youth. He immediately scoffed and eyed David with a dry gaze. “He is not a pet.”

“No,” David agreed. “I’m also glad he’s finally treated like more than that.”

Andrew stared some more.

David leaned back in his chair and worked very hard not to smile at him. He gestured vaguely to the court—it could have been the hallway just as easily. They both knew it was towards Kevin and Neil either way. “Keep it up.”

He knew that Andrew especially would never admit to wanting or needing his approval; that as long as he had Kevin’s trust and Kevin’s word, David did not matter. He would not claim that he knew better and that he knew it did mean something; he simply felt that it might, and that it was important he give it anyway. He also assumed this would get it around to Kevin without David having to approach him himself, and give Kevin the freedom to choose how he would handle it.

Voices crept up the hallway and Andrew broke his stare to become animated again. The final result was a two-fingered salute.

Perhaps he would never be paid enough in cash, but knowing his Foxes, his kids, often felt rewarding anyway.

2. Renee

Renee’s relationship with Andrew was uncomplicated by the fact that he was as complicated as she was. She thought that, perhaps, she might actually have one up on him, but this was more based on life than layers.

It would probably make sense, she thought, that Andrew would somehow begin catching up on her in unexpectedly pleasant ways rather than ways expectedly unpleasant.

He seemed less aggressive than usual in their sparring session, in the way he sometimes was when he was simply too worn out. It was mostly strange that he also lacked the faint frustration usually shown in these instances. Andrew was, despite what Kevin may have grumbled at him, far from lazy and not content with losing. He was calm and respectful enough that he did not react badly with Renee, but his disappointment was clear every time she beat him.

Today, he merely gave a silent little sigh as she pinned him to the floor. He was still just slightly tensed, as he still always was when rendered vulnerable in this manner, but his eyes were clear as he gazed up at her. She plucked herself away quickly and efficiently, and he stretched his arms out to his sides and didn’t follow her up.

“Is everything alright?” she asked simply.

“If you are going to imply I was crap,” he said, “I am already aware.”

She smiled slightly and went to fetch her water bottle. To give Andrew his space, she paused to drink some of it slowly and wait for her heartbeat to settle. When she turned back, Andrew had not moved but to settle his hands on his chest. She collected his water and brought it over, sitting cross legged on the floor next to him.

He took the bottle and tapped it against his temple in thanks, only he had misjudged either his force or its weight. The cap knocked heavily against his brow and he blinked, quickly drawing the bottle away and bringing his free hand to his eye. He caught himself before it got there, but blinked carefully twice more before glaring over at Renee. She grinned at him.

Not for the first time, she mourned over the knowledge that few others got to see this Andrew. Not one who smiled freely or gave monologues or was even really nice, because those Andrews did not actually exist. But this one who was simply human, who just made the silly mistakes and had the natural reactions ingrained in people and did not try to deny it, was the truth that she was privileged to witness.

“Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking and wipe the smile off. It doesn’t suit you,” Andrew sniped, which meant he didn’t mean it. Renee’s true smile likely did not suit her. It might have been something like Neil’s feral grin. Andrew, of course, preferred it to her serene kindness.

She tilted her head and allowed the smile to widen. “Thank you.”

He rolled his eyes away again, which meant nothing, really, but which she took as a ‘you’re welcome’, because Andrew would not argue with her.

“Would you like to talk about it?” she tried again.

Andrew huffed. “About what?”

“Whatever made you sloppy. Whatever has you tired.”

“Nothing.”

She tilted her head, considering him for a moment. “Is it Neil, then?”

This made him roll his eyes fully and sigh again, so she assumed she was correct. If he did not choose to talk now, that didn’t mean he would not talk at all. She would wait, so he would know the offer was genuine, and then he would tell her if and when he wanted to.

But he did choose to talk now.

“It has been almost a year,” he said. “Since Baltimore.”

They all already knew this, of course. The atmosphere between the original Foxes had been dull the past week because of it, though they had all tried to ignore it for Neil’s sake. This method was either working or pointless, because Neil seemed the most okay out of all of them, really. The freshmen were whispering, however, and even Aaron had taken to threatening them into silence to prevent it from growing enough that Andrew would do it. Renee had helped him herself on numerous occasions by peacefully resolving the situation when he only lost his nerve.

The upperclassmen and often Nicky had talked about it a few times between themselves, but they did not have that sort of relationship with Andrew or, as much as they wanted it, with Neil.

They did not even have it with Kevin, which was surprisingly where the problem seemed to lie.

“He is fine,” Andrew remarked. “Actually fine, not his definition. So far, at least, it hasn’t started making him want to rabbit yet and he hasn’t spoken about it. Kevin is a disaster.”

Renee furrowed her brow. She trusted Andrew if he thought Neil was okay, and knew he would be prepared for the moment Neil wasn’t. She tried to think if the Moriyamas had any connection or memory attached to the event, but beyond the anniversary of Riko’s death lingering in the near future, she could not think of anything. “How so?”

“He’s wasting his time on guilt.”

“Because he knew who Neil was?”

Andrew nodded. “And because he didn’t tell me.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to do anything,” Renee reminded him quietly. “And it would have only been worse for Neil if you had been harmed.”

Andrew gave her a scathing look.

She gazed calmly back at him.

He drew himself up into a sitting position and faced her cross-legged, finally opening his water bottle to take a sip. He wasn’t showing any sign of leaving, and although that could change at any moment, she was content to stay as long as he would allow.

“Kevin might have been better off, though,” he said after a moment.

Renee tilted her head. She didn’t ask him to elaborate, because she wasn’t Bee, and her objective was not to prompt him into talking. Andrew might have talked to her more than almost anyone, but she knew a lot of his appreciation was based in silent understanding. So, she worked to understand first.

Then she said, “Because you hurt him.”

Andrew’s jaw ticked.

“He understood. I don’t imagine he holds it against you.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Andrew snapped.

Renee paused. Now she understood.

Andrew’s relationship with Kevin had always been an odd thing, at least in the eyes of the other Foxes. Nicky and Aaron accepted it most easily, or within the shortest period of the time. They weren’t used to Andrew letting anyone in, but they got him and his deals. The upperclassmen mainly couldn’t understand why Kevin had chosen to latch onto the least-enthusiastic player instead of any of them. It was made clear quickly that Kevin was Andrew’s, and like with his family, that meant Kevin was under his protection. The others took this as an explanation—some weird mutual agreement did not make them friends or even mean that either particularly cared about the other. It was viewed a little like a business contract, in the beginning.

Renee liked to think she’d always known better.

She knew, of course, just how much Andrew invested in his deals and how seriously he took those relationships. No one else seemed to believe the reason was as simple as it could have been—that he cared about those the deals were with. That they gave him something worth protecting.

They all seemed to eventually accept, more than realise, that Kevin actually was the closest to a friend Andrew would allow anyone to get. That Kevin was one of the Monsters for his own reasons. That Andrew would probably stab anyone who touched him as quickly as he would for Aaron.

This was the only reason anyone seemed surprised that night, when Andrew had to be the one pried off. It was not shocking that he turned on Kevin because they suspected he cared and did not actually like inflicting harm in that case. Even this shock was brushed off when they made it to Baltimore and instead saw Andrew with Neil. Andrew had made an exception for those he actually let in; had shown there was one person he truly never wanted anyone to harm, and that he could certainly never harm personally.

And it was not Kevin.

Renee liked to think she knew better.

She half expected Andrew to leave now. She watched his hand make an aborted move towards his pocket before it rejoined his other, tightly clenched around the bottle. “Have you talked to him about it?” she asked.

Andrew shook his head.

“What about Bee?”

He gave her a look.

She was already fairly sure, but she did not like to assume anything, so she asked, “And what did she say?”

Andrew scowled. “To talk to him about it,” he grumbled.

She smiled slightly. “He understood then,” she repeated. “He knew that Neil wasn’t only someone you considered your responsibility, but that you cared about him. He pays attention to you, Andrew. He’ll understand why it bothers you, too.”

Andrew pursed his lips around the ‘caring’ comment but did not argue. “I don’t,” he said quietly.

She gave him a questioning look.

“Understand.”

“You don’t understand how it doesn’t upset him?”

Andrew gave a small nod.

Renee considered. “Of course I can’t answer that for you. That’s why you should speak to Kevin. But I would assume it’s because he trusts you.”

A hint of frustration crept into Andrew’s expression. “He shouldn’t.”

“Shouldn’t he?” Renee frowned. When Andrew did not respond, she continued, “He always has. You more than anyone.”

“I broke it,” Andrew said forcefully. It was clear this was also what he’d gone over with Bee. It was likely he wanted to hear Renee confirm whatever she had told him. “That should make it worse than if he never trusted me to begin with. He shouldn’t let me—“

He broke off, pulling in a breath, and Renee realised there was something she was missing. She couldn’t tell if it was that something else had happened, something had changed, or something meant more than she thought. She kept this question there and tried to tackle the first part of what he’d said.

“In all the time he’s known you, you’ve done everything to protect him aside from that once, and that was to protect someone else. Someone close to you both. That doesn’t make it right, but it makes it forgivable. He knows you would never hurt him. Everyone knows that.”

“How?” Andrew asked quietly. He seemed to have only dulled further. Renee was not the sunshine everyone thought her and knew she could not break through, but she could be the wind nudging him out of the dark cloud, if he would let her. “How can they know that when I don’t even know it myself?”

The question might not have been entirely clear, if it wasn’t one she didn’t frequently ask herself. She knew exactly what he meant. Then her mind clicked on and faltered over one word.

They.

Her own question from a moment ago was being answered.

“Because they believe in you,” she said, not letting the new clarity blind her. “Kevin in particular always has. Just as much as Neil does now.” She did not add ‘though possibly in different ways’, because that seemed neither relevant nor true anymore.

Andrew’s jaw twitched, but this time his throat bobbed, too.

“You have never dreamed of forgiving anyone,” she continued, “because those who harmed you all did so in unforgivable ways. He will never forgive Riko, no matter how confusing his feelings towards him may be at any time. But he has forgiven you. In that case it is you who has to trust him.”

She knew this was the real root of the problem, as it always was. Andrew gave out trust in the tiniest of doses, and even those were hard won. It was currently clear that it bothered him through the bottle still held in his hands, ready to burst soon if he did not relax his grip.

“He’s an idiot,” Andrew griped. It was as much of an argument as he could give. It was such a reminder of how he spoke of Neil that any lingering doubt Renee had disappeared.

“Yes.” Renee smiled. “Aren’t we all?”

“You are annoying.”

“Pot meet kettle.”

Andrew scowled at her. Her smile widened. He finally reached for his pocket. He had shook a cigarette out by the time he made it to the doorway, not offering another word or looking back as he left. Renee did not rush to follow him. She sat on the floor and watched the door swing shut, taking another drink of water.

Kevin, she thought. Then, How obvious.

The next day, Neil’s mood was beginning to drop and as a result, Kevin’s hadn’t lifted. Renee felt herself deflate, because she had been sure Andrew would listen. That he would not let things fester further.

Then she remembered that had never been the problem with Kevin, and searched Andrew instead. There did seem to be more serenity to his disinterest, but she couldn’t be sure. He would not be relaxed while both of his people were collapsing, anyway.

Kevin, it turned out, was taking it worse than Neil, and they could all see it now. His mistakes led to frustration led to further mistakes, and when he dropped his racket on the court floor with a loud curse, clutching his left hand, Neil and Wymack were both quick to order him out. This, of course, only worsened his mood, but he seemed to deflate as Andrew followed him out. He would not miss practice entirely, and so they sat on the bench a ways down from Wymack, and this meant Renee could keep watching.

She noticed that Neil became worse off with them both gone, and consistently flicked his own gaze out through the plexiglass. She took this as final confirmation that Kevin was indeed at the heart of the matter, and was not sidelined by either man. It made her heart warm, but it was Andrew raising his hand to Kevin’s neck that made her smile.

He settled it on the back in the manner he often did with Neil, but stroked his thumb instead of squeezing. He was sure and steady with the touch, and Kevin leaned into it with tension leaking out and a soft smile slipping on. The same care was used as Andrew cradled Kevin’s left hand with his free one and lightly massaged the scarring.

Kevin, as always, allowed it with the utmost trust.

There was nothing better to know.

3. Matt and Dan

Matt set a glass down on the coffee table in front of Neil and watched him take it with little-to-no hesitation. His first few slips were slow, but he relaxed on his spot, tipping his head to rest on the couch cushions and sprawling his legs out on the floor in front of him. Matt sank onto the floor next to him and leaned back against Dan’s legs, shooting her a grin when her hand landed in his hair.

“All good, Neil?” Dan asked, affectionately ruffling his hair as well.

Neil hummed. “What’s the plan?”

“Oh, whatever you want. Tonight’s all about you.”

“Uhm,” Neil said.

Matt hurried to intervene before Neil’s discomfort could creep in. “Dan just means we want you to have fun.” At Neil’s blank look, he added, “Or even just like, peace. So, drinks, food, and however you wanna pass the time.”

This drew out Neil’s rare smile. “Oh. I don’t mind. I’m just happy you wanted to spend time with me.”

Dan let out a soft, sad coo and petted his hair again. Matt wanted to cry. He wasn’t sure if it was because Neil was implying he thought they wouldn’t want to spend time with him or that Neil was happy about spending time with them. Either way, he was biting back a whimper as he drew Neil into a tight side-hug.

“We want to spend time with you all the time. You’re just not that easy to steal,” he told Neil.

It was the whole reason for this night. Neil had practically been barricaded from the rest of the team for almost a fortnight surrounding the anniversary of the Baltimore Incident. (Matt had decided incident was too small a word, but the only one he could stomach, so he settled on capitalisation.) They wanted to blame Andrew for holding him hostage, but none of them could blame Andrew. They all remembered what it had been like. Plus, he also seemed to be stuck dealing with Kevin being a drama queen, so the others didn’t feel a whole lot of envy. They had kept in a bubble in their dorm in their free time, though Matt thought they actually spent a lot of it on the court.

So, yeah, Andrew looked tired and Matt couldn’t really be mad. He hadn’t monopolised Neil entirely—it was Neil that gravitated towards him after all. The Foxes could interact with Neil as much as they wanted on campus and at practice, which Neil never missed, even on the days he skipped class. Nobody wanted to overwhelm him or say something wrong, and with how brazen Allison could be and how careless Nicky often mistakenly was, they did all kind of agree it was for the best.

But Neil shouldn’t have thought that was what they wanted. Matt could be a little pissed at Andrew for letting Neil believe that, and for probably being preoccupied with Kevin. Matt had waited all week for Andrew to kick him out of the dorm for a bit, but it never came. He was a little sad then that he had overestimated Andrew’s care.

“Sorry,” Neil murmured. He was flushed when Matt let him go, and staring down into his glass. “The past couple weeks were just. Bad.”

“We get it,” Dan said softly, even though none of them really did and likely never would. “Do you want to talk about it? Any of it?”

Neil shook his head and took a longer drink, gulping it down until less than half the glass was left. “No, I’d rather not anymore.”

Because he added ‘anymore’ implying he’d spoken about it some already, likely to Andrew, or because he hadn’t said ‘I’m fine’, Matt and Dan let it go. Dan clapped her hands together instead as Matt bumped Neil’s shoulder with his own.

“Good then, because this is all about good vibes,” Matt said, grinning. Then he repeated their earlier question. “So, what are you thinking? Do you wanna pick a movie?”

Neil blinked slowly. “I don’t know any movies,” he reminded them.

“Well, yeah, but I’ve picked some out so you could just choose which one you like the look of. I mean, we’re doing pretty well with your pop culture education, right?”

Neil hummed, mmhm, and smiled again. “Okay. Whatever you guys want.”

Matt heard Dan give a near-silent sigh and resisted the urge to bury his head in his hands. “No, no, we want to do what you want.”

“Yeah,” Neil agreed, and didn’t give them anything else.

Dan leaned down, stretching out along the couch and wrapping her upper half around Matt’s shoulders to be closer to Neil’s eye level. “What do you like doing, Neil?”

Neil hesitated, looking between them as if they’d hidden the right answer somewhere on their persons.

“Please don’t just say Exy,” Matt said.

“Or Andrew,” Dan added.

Neil instantly blushed again and quickly took another drink to hide it. This was much quicker than he usually went through alcohol, Matt noted. He didn’t know whether to be worried that meant something was badly wrong or pleased that Neil was comfortable enough around them to let loose. Mostly because he wasn’t sure letting loose was ever Neil’s goal with alcohol. But, still. The fact that he was drinking at all without Andrew around felt like progress. It felt like something he and Dan should be proud of; in Neil’s eyes, they were trustworthy, people who would keep him safe.

Plus, the alcohol only strengthened the pretty flush in Neil’s cheeks. Matt wasn’t going to be upset about it.

“What do you all do in your dorm?” Matt tried. “I mean, surely Andrew wouldn’t let everything revolve around exy and with Kevin there, you and Andrew can’t really...y’know. How do you guys spend time together?”

For some reason, Neil’s blush only darkened. He still wasn’t looking at them as he rubbed the back of his neck and thought of an answer. “Uhm. I don’t know. We just kind of...do our own thing in the same space?”

Well, okay, Matt guessed that probably wasn’t the clearest question. It was a little weird to think of Andrew, Kevin, and Neil having that dynamic, but Matt supposed when you spent all your time with people that was just how it worked. They were roommates—of course that was how it worked. He and Dan could also spend hours together without really doing anything together. But he and Dan weren’t even like Andrew and Neil, never mind Andrew and Neil and Kevin, so could he even really compare?

“That’s nice,” Dan agreed gently. “But do you actually do things together? What about in Columbia for the holidays and things? Surely you don’t just go out every night and ignore each other the rest of the time.”

“No,” Neil admitted, slowly. “I guess, we—we watch TV too? And sometimes we play games, or something.”

“I thought I said no exy,” Matt sighed.

Neil laughed. Matt beamed. It was absolutely precious. Neil was precious. “No, not just exy.”

“Like, video games?” Dan asked.

“Rarely,” Neil said. “Andrew likes them most, I guess, but I think they’re Aaron’s thing really. We play board games more when it’s just the three of us.”

Matt and Dan stared at him. “Board games?” Dan repeated, tone high with disbelief.

Neil looked between them in confusion. “Yeah. I mean, Andrew’s got his crazy memory and Kevin’s a nerd and a know-it-all so they like quiz ones. And Kevin’s really competitive and Andrew likes pissing Kevin off, and both are really strategic and stuff, so even things like Monopoly are very serious.” Neil’s smile had returned, but it looked different, somehow. Brighter and smaller at once; like he had no idea it was even there. “It’s cute,” he added softly.

Matt resisted the urge to coo. It was easy once all the words settled, because then he remembered Neil was talking about Andrew and Kevin. They were about as cute as a lion. Very much so aesthetically, but with a terrifying personality to ruin it. Neil was cute, though, so Matt still wanted to cry a little and maybe pinch Neil’s red cheeks. He wondered if the alcohol was settling in that quickly; Neil usually didn’t talk much at once, either. Aside from his public roastings, which Matt greatly enjoyed.

Dan cleared her throat, and Matt looked to find her just as flabbergasted as he was. “That is...sweet indeed.”

Neil didn’t seem to hear the surprise or disbelief in her voice, just nodded seriously. When neither of them said anything else and he realised they were both staring at him, he sat up a little straighter. “Er, but I mostly like card games?”

“We have a pack of cards,” Matt said quickly, slapping his hand on the floor and immediately regretting it when Neil twitched. He quickly pulled himself to his feet and didn’t let the moment linger. “Right. Cards. Where are you? Neil. Do you want a refill?”

Neil blinked up at him, and Matt was surprised when he nodded and handed over his near-empty glass. “Thanks.”

Matt gave Dan a wide-eyed look before heading around the dorm in search of cards.

It became obvious quite quickly that Neil probably liked card games because he was unnaturally good at them. Matt wondered if he knew how to count cards or something. There could have been an illicit story behind it, even. He stopped himself from asking and settled for complaining about how Neil must be cheating somehow. Neil was not a notoriously lucky person, and there was no way he was just winning all of these games because of that.

While they played, they each worked their way through some drinks and the snacks Matt had organised. Neil actually wasn’t that picky about food, and still ate like a starving man on most occasions, but they had mostly figured out what he actually liked over the past year and Matt was always pleased to please him. He seemed loose and lax and smiley, curling up in his spot when the games began to dwindle and leaning towards Matt as he let his eyes shut. He was also, maybe, a little tipsy.

Matt was very valiantly resisting the urge to snuggle him.

Dan patted his head, as if she could read his mind, and Matt tipped his head back to smile up at her. She booped his nose, making it scrunch, as she calmly sipped on her drink. “What are the rest doing tonight, anyway?”

“Uh, Aaron’s out with Katelyn, and Nicky went to your room with the girls, right?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird.” Dan prodded Neil’s shoulder. “But I’m asking this one.”

Neil blinked up at her.

“Where are your two tonight?” Dan asked politely. It was an improvement from calling them monsters, Matt supposed, but he wasn’t sure Neil would appreciate it any more.

“My—what? Oh. Andrew and Kevin? Night practice by now, I guess.”

Matt sighed. “Of course. Is Kevin pissed you’re skipping?”

“Not really. He got pouty about it, I guess, but he was fine when Andrew said he’d play with him.”

Matt and Dan stared at him, and then Dan sighed. “He really always plays when you ask?”

Neil furrowed his brow. “I didn’t. It’s for Kevin.”

“Andrew never plays when Kevin asks. You said yourself, he loves pissing Kevin off. It’s like, his one redeeming feature,” Dan said.

Neil frowned at her for that, but eventually just shrugged. “He didn’t ask, either. Andrew just said he would.”

Dan and Matt looked at each other, then both turned grins on Neil.

“What?” he asked suspiciously.

“You have everyone in love with you, Neil,” Matt told him, ignoring Neil’s sputtering to continue, “but, like, it still baffles me that you just came in and swept fucking Andrew off his feet. Like, he’s whipped. I mean, what the fuck?”

Matt might have also been a little tipsy.

Neil stared at him like he had two heads.

“Never mind Andrew,” Dan flapped a hand. “Look at Kevin. Neil’s basically his new idol.”

“I thought that’s more Andrew. Like, when he actually plays,” Matt argued, furrowing his brow.

They both whipped around to Neil when he laughed. “Seriously?” They returned blank stares, and he rolled his eyes. “It’s Jeremy Knox. Has been for the longest time. Isn’t that even the ongoing joke within the team?”

Dan gestured with the hand holding her drink and came dangerously close to spilling alcohol over Matt’s head. She might have also been a little tipsy. “Yeah, but...that’s the joke. And like, everyone loves Jeremy.”

“Everyone loves Kevin, too,” Neil said, somewhat defensively.

“I think we’ve completely lost the point,” Matt said.

Dan and Neil turned to him. “Movie?” Neil suggested.

Neil chose by getting Matt and Dan to lay out all the movies they had lying around that he hadn’t already watched, which wasn’t really that many. Those who had any DVDs brought them in to keep at Fox Tower for their movie nights, but none of the Foxes had many. Matt himself had a good few, Nicky had a handful, and Allison went out and bought some that they didn’t have that she was adamant Neil should watch.

Once they were all set out on the coffee table, Neil shut his eyes and waved his hand over them before letting it fall at random.

This was how they ended up watching Grease. Matt was pretty sure this was Nicky’s.

Neil looked mostly horrified or disinterested, and scrunched his nose forcefully through ‘Summer Nights’ as Matt and Dan unconsciously hummed along. “Isn’t this kind of...disgusting and wrong?”

“What?” Matt asked.

“He’s an asshole and his friends are gross. Like, I don’t even get sex jokes half the time, but that’s just. Bad. Isn’t it?”

Matt and Dan stared at him, and glanced back in time to see John Travolta thrusting his hips.

“Uhm,” Matt said. “Oh, fuck. Yeah.”

Dan stared at the screen. “I knew there was a reason people didn’t like this movie.”

Neil sighed and slouched over to rest his head on Matt’s shoulder. Matt instantly froze up. He was only able to force himself to relax when Dan tapped at his head, this time very pointedly. Matt loosened his muscles slowly, keeping his gaze on Neil from the corner of his eye. Neil didn’t show any acknowledgment of Matt’s awkwardness, and settled more firmly against Matt’s side as the movie progressed.

Matt felt entirely drunk now.

“Are you tired, Neil?” Dan asked softly after a while.

Neil hummed and, marvelously, didn’t shift away from Matt. He might have cried if Neil had, and probably given Dan the silent treatment for being the cause.

“Nightmares, and stuff,” he mumbled. “I couldn’t have Andrew or Kevin in the bed with me, even though I sleep better when at least one of them is.”

This time, Matt felt Dan freeze with him. Matt tilted his head back against her knee and stared up at her, wide-eyed. Dan shook her head wildly.

“Uh,” Matt said, hesitantly. “Do you wanna elaborate on that?”

Neil shifted and furrowed his brow, but still didn’t move away and didn’t seem annoyed by the question. “It’s better since I could start sharing with Kev,” he explained, “because it’s an option more often. Not that I mind when Andrew doesn’t wanna. I mean, I get it. But Kevin’s like a really big teddy and he doesn’t lash out even with nightmares usually, and it’s less dangerous for everyone involved if I accidentally smack him when I have one. It usually helps us both sleep better. But, not for me the past couple weeks.”

He sounded so genuinely upset about it that Matt momentarily couldn’t even acknowledge his confusion, only trying to think of how to offer comfort.

Dan did not seem to have the same problem.

“How often do you sleep with Kevin?” she demanded.

Matt cursed her silently as Neil finally moved away to look up at her. “Uhm,” he said, seriously thinking. “Most of the time. Like, seventy to seventy-five percent, maybe?”

“And Andrew is fine with this?”

“Yeah?” Neil tilted his head at her. “Why wouldn’t he be?”

Dan could only blink back at him.

“He still can’t share with Kevin that easily,” Neil went on, as if this was the most natural thing in the world. “Because, like, Kevin’s a lot bigger and doesn’t exactly have as many recognisable features as I do.” He gestured to his scarred face and then waved his mottled hand after catching sight of it. “But it still works out, sometimes.”

“Neil,” Matt said, suddenly panicked. “Do you think you should be telling us all this?”

Neil’s face fell for a moment. “Oh.” Then he took a moment to think, and the expression was quickly wiped away. “No, Andrew won’t mind that. We already talked about it. Just don’t tell Kevin I called him a teddy or he’ll get grumpy and Andrew will never shut up about it.”

Matt kept looking at Neil for another moment, wondering if he was dreaming or hallucinating or if his brain had simply broken. Then he cleared his throat and nodded and just said, “Right. No worries.”

Dan made a sound that suggested she disagreed, but Neil had simply smiled and went back to watching the end of the movie, so Matt gave her a look. She communicated with him silently. You seriously don’t have more questions about this?!

Matt shrugged and widened his eyes. Obviously! But Neil won’t actually spill anything, will he?

That was okay because it was all guessable, Matt supposed. As in everyone could assume about Neil and Kevin’s nightmares and had witnessed fairly good evidence of Andrew’s own night terrors. None of that was really surprising, or spilling any secrets, and Matt got why Neil said Andrew would be okay with it. It wasn’t anything newly impersonal or incriminating, really.

Except for the fact that, apparently, the world’s most cagey, private, and scary couple were both used to sharing sheets with Kevin Day.

Matt wondered how Kevin would feel about this sharing of information. Most (all) of the Foxes had their suspicions, sure; Jeremy was a long-ongoing joke. But this? This was just…

It was making a whole lot of sense, really. And Neil wouldn’t have told them if it was supposed to be a secret. At least, Matt hoped and guessed from experience. Neil did just say they had talked about it.

Dan made a face, but seemed to be on the same page. She did take a big gulp from her glass before directing her own gaze back to the screen, however. After a second, Matt mimicked her.

His mind was still reeling by the time the credits were rolling and Neil looked mostly asleep. He was replaying every moment and conversation he could think of that revolved around Neil/Kevin/Andrew and eventually realised it was so goddamn obvious they all had the hots for each other. God, and he claimed position as Neil’s best friend. He was a fucking dumbass.

“Neil,” Dan said softly, having clearly set her raging curiosity aside to mother the younger boy. “Do you want to stay here for the night, or are you going back to your boys?”

The words had already been spoken earlier, but damn they held way more meaning now. Matt mourned at the realisation no one had thought to put bets on this.

Neil looked up at her sleepily and gave a half-apologetic smile. “I’ll go back, I think.”

“Will they be back already? Do you want me to text them, or something?” Matt asked.

“I’ll text Drew,” Neil assured around a yawn, fumbling his phone out of his pocket. He tapped out a message slowly, and it only took a moment for a response to buzz through. Neil smiled as he read it and relayed it. “They’re just on their way up now. They’ll stop for me.”

It was indeed only seconds later that there was a knock on the door, but Neil seemed to be even closer to sleep than before and did not move except to look towards the sound. Dan slipped out from behind Matt and padded over to open the door, where Andrew stood with Kevin behind him. Dan nodded at them both and waved them in, then began collecting things from the table when she returned to take to the kitchen. Matt was confused as to why she hadn’t stuck around to watch this show like a hawk, then quickly realised she was neatly escaping Neil and his mouth.

Matt hastily stood up as the other men came over to them, because it seemed more likely he’d be able to run that way. Andrew eyed him for a moment before deeming him ignorable, as usual, and looked down at Neil along with Kevin.

“Hi,” Kevin said, and now Matt couldn’t help but recognise the fondness.

Neil smiled up at him. “Hi.” He held his hand up, as if needing help to stand, and Andrew took it after only a second. But Neil didn’t move, and Andrew didn’t do anything to pull him up.

“You’re a lightweight,” Andrew told him, with only the mildest contempt. Somehow, that also sounded blatantly fond.

“Mm,” Neil agreed, nodding quietly.

Kevin huffed and nudged Neil’s foot with his own. “You know you don’t have to compensate for whatever I’m not doing off the court.”

Neil nudged him back and said, “Fuck off.”

Matt realised it was all the bottles and glasses Dan had taken from the table when they came in so Kevin wouldn’t have to see them.

“Drew,” Neil mumbled. “Good night?”

“Was it?”

Neil made a small noise of discontent. “Mean with you. Wanna sleep with you and Kev.”

Andrew’s eyes darted up to Matt’s, then darkened when he realised Matt wasn’t surprised. Kevin was simply staring at Neil.

This was why Dan was still in the kitchen.

“Uh,” Matt said. “He might have drank too much.” I am so sorry. Please don’t kill me.

Andrew assessed him for a moment, then gave a careless flick of his hand and looked back down at Neil. “He would have given himself a concussion before sharing something he did not want to with you. He knows his limits.”

Matt felt himself beginning to beam as Andrew leaned down to scoop Neil up (ignoring Neil’s mutters that he could walk, which didn’t sound anything like an actual protest anyway), and quickly wiped it from his face before Andrew decided to cut it off. He turned away, but this only left him with his gaze meeting Kevin’s. Kevin offered him an awkward, hesitant smile and Matt felt his shoulders sag with a little more relief, smiling and nodding in return.

“You don’t hate Matt,” Neil told Andrew happily, already back in a half-doze against his boyfriend’s—or, well, one of his boyfriends (oh my god)—chest.

Andrew rolled his eyes, but agreed, “No. I hate you, though.”

Neil hummed, seeming even happier than before. Matt could no longer resist beaming. Andrew ignored him and adjusted his grip on Neil.

Kevin looked at him curiously. “You sure you don’t want me to carry him?”

Neil once again pointed out that he could carry himself if need be, but Andrew simply shot Kevin a deadpan look. “I could toss you over my shoulder right now, Day.”

The image that came with the thought was entirely ridiculous. Matt was horrified and baffled to realise it was also, in fact, cute.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it and seeing it. It. This. Them.

Entirely ridiculous.

Oh my god.

“So you can drag my head and feet on the floor at the same time?” Kevin laughed.

“Just for that, if the time ever comes you are getting dragged on your fucking face.”

Kevin grinned, obviously not at all scared for his life the way he should have been. “Sure.”

Matt watched on in awe as Kevin collected Neil’s earlier abandoned hoodie from the arm of the couch and Andrew easily began carrying Neil towards the door. Matt hastened after so that he could open it for them.

Andrew nodded at him, but paused before leaving when Neil made another sound. “Drew,” he repeated. “You and Kev.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “You can’t, Neil, because Kevin’s a giant,” he said. The mocking was clear even before he continued. “Or at least has a compensation complex that leads him to think so.”

Kevin sputtered, but Matt was shocked to find himself blushing slightly as he gaped at them. “That’s not true,” Kevin grumbled.

“He’s right,” Neil told...someone. “S’not true.”

Matt made a sound like all the air had suddenly left the room, and Andrew shot him a look before quickly hauling Neil away before he could say anything else. Matt gaped after them and jumped when Kevin clapped his shoulder.

“Uh, thanks, for looking after him and being good with...yeah,” Kevin mumbled, gesturing at nothing before decidedly clasping his hands together and hurrying down the hall after his boys. “Night.”

“Night,” Matt said, after the door to their dorm had already clicked shut. He remained frozen in the hallway for a second before he closed his own door and turned to find Dan gaping at him.

“What the fuck,” they said together. Dan clasped a hand over her mouth dramatically. Matt stared at her for another moment before bursting into gleeful laughter.

4. Allison

Allison was willingly sitting in the back of Andrew Minyard’s Maserati, while Andrew Minyard drove. The only reason this was possible was because Kevin was in the back along with her and Neil was in the passenger seat, and Allison was like, ninety percent sure Andrew wouldn’t kill them. Eighty-five at least.

She didn’t know why Andrew and Kevin needed to be here at all, but Neil had looked so happy when Andrew suggested it that she’d been unable to say no. Andrew irritated her at the very least and Kevin infuriated her at most, but she liked Neil, and she liked when things made him happy. She told herself she did not have to understand these things. Neil was more than capable of taking care of himself in cases of love and lust, surely, after surviving a mob-boss father and likely psychotic mother, too.

Plus, she’d tried talking sense into him already and he always got pissed about it.

So she was taking Neil shopping, and so were Andrew Minyard and Kevin Day. It was a situation she never supposed she’d find herself in. It was a situation that didn’t really surprise her.

“This is unnecessary,” Neil muttered. “You’ve already bought me enough clothes.”

“No,” Andrew said calmly, “I have not.”

“Eden’s is not formalwear, Neil,” Kevin piped up.

Neil ignored them both. “You memorised my size instantly. Why can’t you just go pick something like you always do?”

“Because I’m choosing,” Allison butted in, making all members of the car look at her. Kevin glanced over, Neil looked over his shoulder, and even Andrew flicked his eyes to the rear-view mirror. Allison looked at Neil. “I am the one taking you.”

Neil rested his chin on the back of the seat and furrowed his brow at her. “Why aren’t you just taking me, then?”

Allison gestured at his boyfriend in exasperation. “Ask your control freak over there.”

Andrew, disappointingly and unsurprisingly, did not react.

Neil simply pursed his lips at her, then tilted his head at Kevin. “What’s your excuse?”

“I wanted to,” Kevin shrugged. He frowned slightly. “Did you not want me to?”

Allison resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She was sure Kevin had grown out of needing Andrew to babysit him, but she supposed his narcissism would remain either way. Of course he would do what he wanted and assume he was wanted by everyone else. It was just as disappointing and unsurprising as Andrew’s indifference.

Neil was too soft. He gentled at Kevin’s pout and shook his head. “I just don’t want to be here,” he said.

“Graduation is important to you,” Andrew said, a reminder. “Is it not?”

Neil looked at him and something indecipherable changed in his expression. “It’s for graduation?”

“You’re my date,” Allison said. Neil whipped his head around again and blinked at her. She blinked back. “Aren’t you? I thought this meant you agreed.”

“But,” Neil hesitated. “You never asked…?”

She frowned at him. “Yes, I did. I asked Andrew. He said yes, so I assumed he’d tell you.”

It had not been a pleasant conversation. Allison hadn’t expected it to be, because Andrew was the exact opposite of pleasant. The only saving grace was how short the whole thing was. The only reason Allison went to him at all was because she was fairly sure Neil would agree, so the only issue would have been Andrew. It was easier to get directly to the root of the problem.

Andrew had stared at her in his dead silence, arms crossed, and dismissed her with an easier agreement than she expected. It had felt like a fifty-fifty sort of situation. Going directly to Andrew could have meant he would say no just to be annoying or petty or both, or it could have earned his impassive respect. She’d assumed she’d managed the latter. It was also why she hadn’t protested when he’d spontaneously decided to join them today—she figured it was that little bit of pettiness that just had to show through.

Now she wasn’t exactly sure what had happened.

“Why’d you ask Andrew?” Neil asked, baffled. At the same time, Kevin leaned closer to the driver’s seat and said, “You did what?”

Andrew eyed them both in the rear-view mirror this time. “I told her I did not understand why she was asking me. Neil is not property. He can do what he wants.” He fixed his gaze on Kevin in particular, and Kevin slumped back in his seat and folded his arms. Allison gave him a look for being so odd but was distracted by Andrew addressing her directly. “You did not think you had to ask him?”

“I assumed you would have told him,” Allison snapped. “He agreed to go shopping without asking anything. I thought that meant he knew what it was for.”

“You always try to take me shopping, Allison,” Neil pointed out.

“I thought I taught you to ask questions first,” Andrew said.

“You never ask questions first,” Neil muttered.

Andrew ignored him and looked at Kevin in the mirror again. “I told you what this was for.”

“You only told me it was for graduation,” Kevin protested. “Not that—“ he cut himself off. He curled his arms tighter around himself and scowled. He looked away from Andrew’s gaze after mere seconds and out the window.

Allison gave him another look. Why the hell had she agreed to go anywhere with these people?

“You should learn not to assume,” Andrew told her, offhandedly. Allison might have used the opportunity to strangle him if he was not the one driving the car and the action could possibly result in all of their deaths.

Plus, Neil and Kevin would probably help Andrew. Nut-jobs.

Still, when she looked back at Neil (who was also examining Kevin and his weirdness, but with a much softer expression), she found herself saying, “Sorry, Neil.” Then she couldn’t help but add, “I should’ve known not to expect anything from him.”

Neil sighed, but didn’t rebuke her for the comment. “Why do you want me to be your date? I didn’t even realise dates were needed for graduation.”

“We’re all going out for dinner,” she explained.

He tilted his head. “Okay…?”

Andrew huffed. “I am also taking Renee,” he told Neil.

Kevin made a sound like something wounded. Allison glanced at him again, brows raised to ask what the hell is wrong with you?, but Kevin was still staring straight out the window.

“Why do you and Renee not just go together?” Neil asked. “I don’t understand. Who is going to dinner? Everyone? The Foxes?”

“First you ask no questions, and now this,” Allison mused.

Neil slid down in his seat again a little as Andrew slowed down to pull into the mall car park. Allison let the silence go on while Andrew found a space, assuming Neil would pick it up again when they got outside, and he did.

She was not expecting him to say, “I just don’t understand why you would want me as your date. Especially if it’s just a group thing anyway.”

Oh, Neil. Andrew and Kevin both looked at him like he was an idiot, and Allison didn’t know whether she should hate them a little less or a little more for it. She looped her arm through Neil’s and tugged him to her side, ignoring the look Andrew shot her. “Because I have always wanted to date you, Neil, and this feels like an excellent excuse.”

“Ha, ha,” Neil rolled his eyes at her.

“You don’t believe me?” she demanded. Neil simply gave her a look. “Alright, fine. It’s like going to the banquet. Except it’s just us Foxes. Well, if the others want to come.”

Kevin grumbled something that made Andrew step on his foot as they walked. Neil said, “Oh. So it’s just that you guys...want me to come?”

It was hesitant, but he got there. Allison resisted the urge to pinch his cheek. The ever-painful looking scar helped. “Now you’re getting it,” she cooed. “Of course we do. I just managed to call dibs on your pretty face.”

Neil rolled his eyes again and hunched his shoulders, a tiny scowl taking over his lips.

“Stop that,” Andrew told him. “She is not joking. It is called a compliment. You’re meant to accept it.”

“Bit hypocritical,” Kevin said, under his breath. Andrew ignored him.

Neil was blushing. Allison gave in and pinched his unmarred cheek. “Oh, of course you believe him over me.”

If she didn’t know better, she would have bet that Andrew looked smug.

“That’s not—I just...“ Neil stammered.

“You’re just a stunner to those with the right taste,” Allison cut him off. “And that’s why we’re getting you to dress like one.”

“Oh, now it’s ‘we’, is it?” Neil said, exasperated.

Allison took a page from Andrew’s book and ignored him, steering him into one of the better stores as soon as they entered the mall.

Neil was, predictably, entirely unhelpful and seemed to have no opinion on anything whatsoever. Kevin trod along silently as well. Allison didn’t know what else she expected. It probably was not Andrew carefully selecting a matching set of items and coming over to where she had just begun rifling through a rail to propose them for her examination. She only stared at him for a second before flicking her gaze over the outfit with a considering hum. “Good start,” she allowed.

Andrew raised a brow. “Are you looking for something specific? Colour or style wise?”

“No,” she said. “Just something as pretty as he is.”

Andrew carefully folded the hangers over his arm while narrowing his eyes at her. She smiled savagely. He turned on his heel without another word and sauntered away again, tapping Neil’s shoulder in a silent order to follow. Neil did so quietly with a small smile shot in her direction.

“He’s worried that all of you leaving means you will be gone.”

Allison jumped at the voice, spinning around to find Kevin lingering next to her.

“That’s why he got weird,” Kevin continued. “When Andrew told him it was for graduation. And likely why Andrew agreed to all this.”

She frowned at him, taking this in. It took a moment for her to understand what he was even talking about, but she deduced that it could obviously only be Neil and the statement was stupid either way. She shook her head and waved a dismissive hand. “Neil knows we’re not abandoning him. That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not,” Kevin argued, as serious and adamant as he usually only was about exy. It was weirding Allison out. “And hearing you dismiss it like that would only make Neil more sure he was right, so think of something better.”

Allison stared at him. She glanced across the room to where Andrew was intently watching Neil flick through a shirt rail. Neil turned to say something to him with his sharp grin. It only widened when Andrew rolled his eyes in response.

“He looks fine,” she said feebly.

Kevin looked at her as if she were an idiot, which was more familiar territory and just as irritating as ever. “He always looks fine. It’s Neil.”

“We’re not leaving him. I don’t believe that he doesn’t know that.”

Allison had already talked to Neil about this. She’d made dozens, possibly a hundred, comments on ways that she would be staying in contact. She always mentioned it casually and offhandedly, how they would have to call so she could keep testing his growth into a functioning member of a society and how she would have to take him shopping even when he was eighty and how he better offer her free seats when he went pro. It was obvious to her that she would still be a part of Neil’s life; his and Dan’s and Renee’s at the very least. Neil was the one who tied them all together now, and it would stay that way even after he graduated. All of the Foxes were aware of this.

But Kevin pursed his lips. “I don’t even think he knows that about Andrew and I. I think that is making it worse, knowing that we will have to go next.”

Allison’s lip curled. “I wouldn’t trust it of Andrew, either,” she muttered.

Kevin snatched the sweater she picked up out of her hands and she looked up at him, startled. “How could you look at him and still say that?” he demanded. Allison realised he was fuming. “Andrew cares more about and treats Neil better than anyone else. Do not say such stupid things just because you don’t want to admit you’ve been wrong. He is not what you all try to make him.”

For a moment, Allison could only stare at him in shock. She felt they had gotten a bit off topic, and it threw her slightly. Then she snatched the sweater back. “He’s not what you make him, either, then,” she snapped.

She thought it would strike a nerve, but Kevin just pursed his lips at her, brow furrowed as he shook his head. “I have never tried to make Andrew anything he isn’t,” he said, still holding anger in his quiet tone. “I’ve just shown him there is someone who believes he can make something of himself.”

This was so unusually heartfelt for Kevin that it took Allison a while to absorb the words. She knew Kevin saw something in Andrew at the beginning that none of the rest of them had, something that he trusted rather than feared. Allison still did not see it and thought she probably never would. She still thought Neil could do better and Kevin could surely find someone more worthwhile to put his precious exy energy into. Hell, they’d probably even be a better match for each other. Kevin had been the first one to see something in Neil too, after all.

She found herself scoffing. “You might believe all you want, but we all know the only thing Andrew makes is problems.”

Kevin’s anger lit up again. “Neil would not even want you to stay if he could hear you now,” he hissed at her. “I find it hilarious that for all your thoughts about Andrew, you’re crueler than he is.”

Allison gaped at him, but this time he simply made to storm past and away from her. She latched onto his arm and tugged him back. “Christ, Kevin, would you just calm down?” she said, exasperated. “I mean, God, do you have a crush on him or something?”

She did not expect Kevin to stare back at her, again, as if she were an idiot.

“What?” she demanded.

Kevin visibly hesitated. “They didn’t tell you?” he asked dubiously.

“Tell me what? That you’re a bloody psycho?”

Kevin stared at her some more. He flicked his gaze over her shoulder, to where she knew Andrew and Neil still were. When he looked at her again, a flush had begun to crawl up his neck. He cleared his throat. His lips parted on words that would not come.

She stared back at him. “Oh my god, have you actually got a crush on Andrew?”

The look Kevin gave her was sharp, and surely a plea to be quiet as he looked at the other attendees, who’d all snuck at least one glance at the group of Foxes since they’d arrived. Allison was struck with the realisation that she was right, and could only gaze at the man in front of her in astonishment.

She did not think to question when or why or what. The only thing that came out was, “Who the hell knows about it?”

Kevin made a small, strangled sort of sound, and Allison looked over her shoulder at Andrew again and barely remembered to lower her voice this time.

“Oh my god, why? Like, what is it with him to you guys? I know the muscle is impressive, but Jesus, that’s where the appeal ends. I’d understand maybe if it was Neil.” She turned back to Kevin, and watched him purse his lips, still staring at her. “Wait. Is it actually Neil?”

Kevin let out a sigh and raised a hand to rub over his face.

“Which is it?” Allison pushed.

“Yes.” Kevin let his hand drop, and Allison was shocked to see he looked amused. He also hadn’t answered her goddamn question, so she glared at him until he clarified. “To both. Yes. Although a crush implies it is both unspoken and unreturned, so no,” he added, seemingly as an afterthought.

The words sunk in slowly, Kevin watching her the whole time.

Her jaw dropped. “What the fuck?”

This was probably a little too loud.

Neil and Andrew were by their side in an instant. Neil looked at her with his faint concern, and Andrew had returned to glaring, shooting a glance over Kevin as if looking for injury that she could have inflicted on his ten-fucking-foot frame. She opened her mouth again and Kevin made a warning sound.

Her voice was a much more reasonable level as she choked out, “You’re all boning?”

“Allison,” Neil hissed, a blush rushing into his cheeks again. Andrew was examining her curiously now. Kevin snorted.

“They didn’t tell her,” he said.

Allison smacked his chest. “Who?”

Kevin stared down at her. “Did you just smack me?” he asked, voice high with disbelief.

“I told you they wouldn’t,” Neil was telling him.

Andrew shrugged. “Not that it matters.”

Allison was convinced they were talking gibberish at that stage, but this stood out to her. Anger bubbled up, and she found herself whirling on Andrew before Neil or Kevin could think to stop her. “You must be seriously good in bed, because if this is how you treat them both, I don’t know what the hell else they see in you.”

Neil stepped closer, but stopped when Andrew held up a hand. He was clearly biting his tongue. Allison didn’t care. Neil could be mad all he wanted, but until he could learn to be mad on his own behalf Allison would stand up for him, dammit.

“I was talking about whether you know or whether Matt and Dan have told anyone or not. It doesn’t matter because it is not a secret,” Andrew said, seeming as unaffected as ever. “But I am sure that’s a good reason, yes.”

Allison wanted to be annoyed. She wanted to be fuming. She wanted to feel that desire to punch him in the face so strongly that she actually did it for once.

She stared at him. She noticed the silent thunder in his eyes. She watched his hand turn soft and slack as Neil inched closer and his chest pressed against it. She saw his shoulders ease as Kevin shuffled nearer to his other side.

She saw him prepared to storm a stage and gut a man on national television. She saw him crash into a hotel room in Baltimore without a care for the men with guns threatening him. She saw him with his goalie stick in his hands and a man screaming from the damage he caused.

She stepped back and saw him standing in front of Kevin and Neil.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

Andrew raised a brow at her.

She shoved her bundle of clothes into Kevin’s arms, then stared patiently at Andrew until he handed his to Neil and ordered—asked—them both to go with almost entirely silent conversation. Kevin shrugged, but had to tug Neil along with him so the redhead would go to the changing rooms.

Then her and Andrew continued staring at each other, silently.

“You really wouldn’t leave Neil,” she realised.

Andrew narrowed his eyes.

“Either of them. You wouldn’t. You can’t.”

“Don’t be a drama queen, Reynolds,” Andrew dismissed. “It doesn’t suit you.”

“You can’t even tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong.”

It made her grin. “Even better. You can say it, but you won’t about them.”

“They are also wrong very, very often,” Andrew corrected her, too unaffectedly. Deflecting.

“You know, too,” she continued. “You know I keep saying the same shit about you to see if they’ll still protect you, so I can say shit about them and you give me more and more proof that it goes both ways. You know. It’s not a secret. But will you ever say it?

This, miraculously, did not make the thunder in Andrew darken. Instead it lifted, ever so slowly, until he was looking at her with a clear gaze. “I do. It is not my fault that people think only their ears can listen.”

Finally.

She scoffed. She would not smile; she still didn’t like him. She didn’t hate him, either. “And I’m the drama queen,” she muttered.

Andrew hummed. It was the most pleased she had ever heard him.

They went to join Kevin and began judging the outfits they had chosen for Neil. Neil was oddly free of complaints, firstly seeming to catalogue them for damage and then attempting and failing to hide his smirks as they bickered and agreed back and forth. It was only Kevin who remained sullen then, but now Allison understood why he was being both weirder and grumpier than usual.

“We have to dress Kevin up too,” she announced.

Kevin blinked up at her. “Excuse me?”

“Clearly,” she ignored him, “Andrew and I are the ones with the best taste.”

Neil scoffed and Kevin squawked and Andrew followed her when she went to flick through a rack.

She returned with a rather racy, lacy shirt, and thrust it in front of Andrew’s face as he stared down at a display of jeans. Neil and Kevin had joined them, Neil with his narrowed down options in hand and Kevin with a wary expression.

“How do you think he’d look in this?” Allison asked, shooting Kevin and Neil a wink.

Andrew examined it, flicked his eyes to Kevin, and then back down at the jeans. “I think he’d look like an idiot.”

“That’s hot in Andrew-speak,” Neil stage-whispered.

Kevin grinned at him.

Allison thought, I’m going to fucking kill Matt and Dan.

Then another thought occurred, and she whirled on Andrew once more. “How long has Renee known?” she demanded.

Andrew smirked at her and hauled his boyfriends to the counter.

5. Nicky and Aaron

Trips to Columbia were predictable.

Even when they had taken the individual Foxes with them for Andrew’s dubious tests of trust, there hadn’t been a whole lot about the outings that surprised Aaron. Kevin joining their group had shaken things up in the beginning, but he was Kevin, and he did little more than drink himself into oblivion and stick to Andrew like glue. He had to admit Neil was a fairly unpredictable being overall, and he was the real drama queen here, who had made a whole event of his first trip. But by now, Columbia weekends were predictable.

This one was starting off strange.

Matt stopped chattering at Neil as they reached the car and passed his eyes over it eagerly. “One day you’re going to let me in this car,” he told Andrew confidently.

Andrew paused by the driver’s door, leaning against it and staring blankly at Matt. “No.”

“Oh, come on,” Matt whined. “Even Allison’s been in the Maserati.”

“Not by request,” Neil pointed out, clapping Matt’s shoulder. It was a ridiculous gesture when he had to reach as far as his head to do it.

“You already had one up on Allison,” Andrew said, a clear reminder of...something. Aaron blinked at him, but Andrew was already shooing Matt away and opening the driver’s door. “Kevin,” he called.

Kevin looked at him, and then the passenger side, and pursed his lips. Andrew raised his brows expectantly.

Aaron looked at Neil, who was scowling at Andrew.

Not exactly new, but not overly usual, either. Aaron found his curiosity peaked.

“No,” Kevin said finally, making Andrew narrow his eyes and Neil perk up. “I’m not taking sides.”

“You aren’t taking sides by choosing to sit in the back?” Andrew said. Aaron couldn’t quite figure out his tone or his expression and that was...annoying. Something about this whole interaction seemed suddenly annoying. Aaron wondered if it was because that was the feeling, if it was because Andrew looked or sounded annoyed.

Kevin gave him an unimpressed look. “I’m not choosing to sit in the back, because that’s already where I always sit. It’s not my fault you’re making Neil sit there too.”

Matt leaned down to whisper in Neil’s ear. “Dude, what did you do?”

“Nothing,” Neil protested. “He’s being a drama queen.”

Aaron found himself scoffing and speaking up. “You’re one to talk.”

Neil glared at him. Andrew said, “Fine. Aaron.”

Aaron blinked over at him, but Andrew was already getting into the car and expecting the rest to follow. Nicky immediately began protesting, and Matt ruffled Neil’s hair before wishing him a too-genuine good luck and running off. Kevin sighed and nudged Aaron towards the front of the car.

Aaron got in the passenger seat.

Kevin slid in behind him, and the opposite back door opened to permit Neil until Andrew said, “No.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Neil muttered.

“Nicky sits in the middle,” Andrew insisted, meaning his speech was just slightly more clipped and his tone firmer than usual. Really, he was as unbothered as ever, one hand on the wheel and eyes focused out the windshield. Aside from the clench of his jaw, no one would have been able to tell he was affected by anything. Aaron was sure even that was something most other people would miss.

Nicky stuck his head in and whined. “Oh come on, Andrew. It’s a rule that the shortest person sits in the middle! The middle sucks. If you’re trying to punish Neil, he should have to sit in the middle. Otherwise, Aaron should be back here and you should’ve let me sit in the front!”

Throughout his rant, Andrew slowly lowered his head and now had his nose pinched between thumb and finger. “You,” he gritted out, “are more annoying than Aaron. Congratulations on making the middle your punishment.”

Kevin huffed quietly in the back as Nicky gaped at Andrew, then yelped as Neil finally got fed up and shoved him through the door. Aaron and Andrew sighed in unison as he almost fell forward and crashed into Kevin’s lap, then looked at each other in equal disapproval.

When Neil finally clambered in, Andrew was speeding away before he’d even fully closed the door. “For fuck’s sake, Andrew,” he complained.

“This is a stupid argument. Sort it out before we go tonight,” Kevin said simply, “or I’m not joining.”

Nicky commented that this was a little dramatic, but Aaron thought he understood. Kevin was trying, but Neil and Andrew could make anyone want to drink themselves into oblivion at the best of times. They were as supportive as they got when it came to Kevin, but it would be different if they were sullen and bickering. An extra grumpy Andrew and Neil did not a pleasant night make. Aaron was surprised they’d even come if they were fighting. Andrew wouldn’t have left Neil behind, but there had been weekends in which none of them went. So it likely was, as Kevin put it, a stupid argument that they hadn’t quite had the time to hash out.

Aaron found himself keeping an annoyed eye on Neil regardless.

It threw the usual energy off. Nicky was being pouty about it and Kevin kept sighing and Aaron was remembering that both his brother and Josten could be the pettiest people on the planet. They were both utterly silent for the car journey while Nicky was so desperate for conversation that he got Kevin going about some random historical event that Aaron remembered telling him to shut up about days ago. Aaron ignored them thanks to Andrew letting him play his music for once.

When they got to the house, Neil made a point of opening Andrew’s door for him. Andrew made a point of ignoring him. Neil made a point of settling down on the couch next to Kevin and kicking his legs up into his lap. Andrew went straight to his room and made a point of ignoring him.

As soon as Andrew had gone, Kevin knocked Neil’s legs out of his lap and ordered him to go after him. They started bickering back and forth, and Aaron decided to ignore them too and head to his own room with Nicky on his heels. It was unusual, too, that they didn’t go straight to Sweeties or even directly to Eden’s, but it was unusually early in the day for them to be here at all. Unusual was becoming annoying.

“Do they all seem a bit...weird to you recently?” Nicky asked, hesitant.

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Weirder than usual? No.”

“Kevin, though. He’s like—I don’t know. Like their parent and their kid at the same time. Does that make sense? I feel like it shouldn’t make sense, but it is exactly what I mean.”

“You make no more sense than usual,” Aaron assured him, before shutting his door in Nicky’s face. He supposed he could talk to Katelyn in relative peace for a while.

By the time they were heading to Sweeties, Neil was back in the front seat and buying Andrew his ice cream. Kevin seemed both pleased and miserable over this fact. Aaron couldn’t wait to go to Eden’s and get rid of them.

He lingered with them just long enough to make sure they actually seemed alright. It might have been over a year and he might have trusted his brother’s judgement, but good judgement had never been enough to protect Andrew before. Neil, Aaron was still learning to trust, and he still didn’t necessarily like him. He didn’t like not knowing what they had argued about. He hated knowing that Andrew wouldn’t tell him.

But Andrew seemed at peace with Neil following him to the bar, and he seemed at peace with Neil settling in the usual spot at his side, and he seemed at peace as he watched Neil fall into an invested conversation with Kevin that could have only been about exy. He seemed at peace with Neil.

Aaron couldn’t look at it, so he tossed a shot back and merged into the crowd with Nicky.

He was sort of waiting for Kevin to join them, but it wasn’t entirely unusual that he hadn’t. Less alcohol brought about more self-consciousness, Aaron supposed. Kevin’s drinking combined with Andrew’s presence had always eased his anxiety enough for him to let go a bit, but as one factor dissipated he seemed to cling tighter to the other. Andrew—and also Neil—seemed to be the main guides to Kevin’s sobriety, since Kevin had hesitantly told them all he wanted to go in that direction. Neil mostly helped him through sober solidarity and Andrew through his usual, violently-protective sternness. Aaron might have tugged Kevin away from a bottle here and there himself.

But a sober Kevin was even more predictable, so Aaron wasn’t surprised that he didn’t join them or that he had migrated around to Andrew’s free side by the time he and Nicky returned to the table. He was only mildly surprised when Neil got up with a sigh and headed back to the bar on his own as Andrew settled a little more firmly against Kevin.

Andrew drinking wasn’t unusual, and Andrew being comfortable enough to have casual contact with Kevin wasn’t unusual, but combining alcohol and touch at all was still rare and usually only allowed with Neil. It left Aaron staring, mostly at Kevin, because Andrew would be quicker to notice Aaron’s gaze.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Kevin, or thought that Kevin would hurt Andrew, and it certainly wasn’t like Kevin was interested in touching Andrew like that, so it really wasn’t a big deal. Andrew would never drink enough to even appear tipsy, anyway, just enough for a light buzz, just enough that he’d toss the car keys to Neil for the trip back to the house. It wasn’t that there was anything to worry about.

But it was Andrew, and Aaron had grown to be conscious and cautious with him.

It took a little examination, but it was fairly clear to see that Kevin was leaning back. He was relaxed in his seat against the wall. He wasn’t tilted towards Andrew or infringing on his space. His hands, in fact, were tucked under his legs. He was looking at Andrew with a slight smile as Andrew lightly rested against him while tilting his head up as if he would be able to see Neil through the crowd.

It was entirely Andrew’s decision, entirely Andrew’s touch, entirely Andrew’s trust. That was all Aaron wanted to know.

He couldn’t look at it.

When Neil returned with their now familiarly small order of drinks, however, he found himself waiting and watching again. He was focusing on how easily Neil slid in close and how it seemed to only relax Andrew more. He was focusing on the fond exasperation in the eyeroll Andrew gave as Neil murmured something in his ear, and the easy manner in which Andrew hooked a leg over Neil’s anyway. He was focusing so much on Andrew that he almost missed the way Neil smiled as if he’d just been given a great gift while Andrew scoffed and pulled a drink towards himself. But he knew the way Neil looked at Andrew by now, the way Neil spoke to and about Andrew by now, the way Neil treated Andrew by now, the way Neil clearly loved Andrew by now.

He knew. And he couldn’t look at it, sometimes. Most of the time. Any time.

But it was predictable.

Nicky falling asleep on the way back was predictable, as was Andrew and Neil’s bickering over Neil’s driving, along with Kevin’s requests for them to shut up. Neil hesitating behind Andrew and Andrew rolling his eyes once more and hooking a finger in his shirt to guide him to his room was predictable. Nicky heading straight to bed on dead-feet was predictable. The fuzzy outline of the stairs as Aaron pulled himself up them was predictable.

Getting up to get a drink of water an hour or so later and finding Kevin leaving Andrew’s room as silently as possible seemed not-real.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was all his over-examining tonight. Maybe he was already knocked out and dreaming.

He never drank enough to fucking hallucinate, and if it was a dream he likely wouldn’t know it.

“Kevin?”

Kevin started, whirling around and staring at him like a deer trapped in headlights. “Aaron.” He stumbled over the name. “I thought—you usually go straight to sleep.”

Aaron stepped closer and flicked his eyes to Andrew’s door. “What are you doing?”

Kevin opened his mouth to answer, and the bathroom door opened to permit Neil. He immediately paused at the unexpected presence in the hallway, quickly blinking at Aaron before noticing Kevin, who seemed to have frozen even more. Neil’s expression went instantly blank.

Aaron shoved Kevin into the wall.

Kevin gasped, and Neil snapped out of it to call to Aaron, and Aaron saw Andrew leaning on Kevin’s side and Andrew offering Kevin the front seat and Andrew behind a locked door, body bloody on the bed with a bloody body on the floor.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He trusted Kevin. He trusted Kevin. He trusted Kevin.

He had shouted the words in Kevin’s face, and now he shoved him against the wall once more.

Just as quickly, he was being shoved back, and back, and his back hit the opposite wall and knocked the breath out of him, and he thought Neil. But when he looked, or when his eyes focused, it was his own face looking back. No, not his own, but the closest thing to it. The worse and the better version of it.

“I would like to ask you the same question,” Andrew said, deadly calm.

He looked clear-eyed and sober, but there was something lurking that Aaron recognised, an apprehension that might have been the closest Andrew ever got to fear. The set of his jaw and pinch of his lips were angry, and the arm pressed to Aaron’s chest was a warning.

Fear, anger, warning. For Aaron. In protection for Kevin.

“He’s sneaking out of your room when you’re drunk,” Aaron snapped at his brother. “And he can’t explain.”

Andrew tilted his head. “Maybe being knocked about made talking difficult,” he deadpanned. “Do I seem drunk to you?”

“Why don’t you tell me, then? Why don’t you explain what this fucking asshole was doing creeping around in the dark, knowing damn well you’d been drinking and after still sticking to you like a leech the whole night?”

He didn’t believe what he was implying. Couldn’t. Andrew was there, in front of him, in one piece, utterly calm and without a scratch. There was nothing to suggest Kevin had done anything wrong, other than an open expression and a telling silence. Even Neil, whose shutdown had sprung Aaron into action in the first place, was now standing with a hand on Kevin’s shoulder as he carefully checked him over. There was no evidence that Aaron should worry, or should think anything of it at all, and yet he thought of Kevin and the car; Neil taunting Andrew with Kevin; Andrew with Kevin at the club; Nicky saying ‘do they seem weird to you recently? Kevin’.

No. Aaron trusted Kevin.

He hated him, so wholly and so suddenly that he couldn’t breathe.

“What,” Andrew said carefully, “are you trying to imply?”

Neil added, “Aaron—“

“This is on you, too,” Aaron snapped at him. “The door was unlocked for you, you let him in, like you let Andrew go to Easthaven and that fucking Thanksgiving—”

Andrew slammed him into the wall and Aaron choked on the rest of his words. “Now, now,” Andrew tsked, more monotone than before. “Don’t.”

A small, pained sound led his eyes to the end of the hall and to Nicky. There was no telling how long he’d been there. At least, there wasn’t for Aaron. It made him feel even more caged when he thought he was probably the only one who hadn’t immediately noticed the other’s appearance. However long Nicky had been there, he’d certainly heard Aaron’s last words.

“Andrew,” Neil called softly. “This won’t help.”

Andrew’s jaw ticked, and he didn’t look towards him. He never looked away from the threat, after all. “It should help to remind him of a very simple point,” he argued.

“Maybe. But you won’t hurt Aaron.”

It sounded like it could have been an order, but Neil stated it like a fact. As if it was something they all knew, a universal knowledge that could not be contested. Neil seemed sure of his brother in a way Aaron never was.

Kevin said, “Andrew. He’s right,” as if he knew Andrew just the same, and Aaron hated him.

Andrew’s arm pressed a little more firmly against his chest, hinting that it showed in Aaron’s expression and it did not please him. Aaron didn’t care.

He wished he didn’t fucking care. It would be so much easier if he at least cared as little about Andrew as Andrew did about him.

He wished that, even as he thought it, he wasn’t thinking about how that wasn’t true.

Nicky inched closer, speaking up hesitantly as he looked between his cousins and his friends. “Aaron, you can’t...are you really accusing Kevin?”

“Nobody’s denying it, Nicky,” Aaron pointed out, too furious, too hurt, too much.

Andrew pulled him away from the wall as quickly as he’d pushed him into it and shoved him towards his open room instead. “Nobody else,” he said, never with any room for debate, only he still looked at Neil and Kevin. Andrew would wait just long enough to listen if they protested, even if he would eventually tell them no. Predictable. Impossible.

Aaron couldn’t look at it.

He couldn’t stomach it. He hated it.

He just wanted it.

He glared at Andrew as Andrew threw the door shut and glared back at him, keeping a few feet of space between them now. The room was only lit by a lamp, dimmer than the hallway had been, and Andrew’s face seemed even more familiar in the low light, seemed even more similar. He couldn’t read it. He never could. He wondered if he ever would.

“What is wrong with you?” Andrew asked, cutting right to the chase. “It’s Kevin, for Christ’s sake.”

Aaron clenched his jaw. “What was he doing in here? All you have to do is fucking tell me, Andrew.”

Andrew considered him for a moment. He glanced at the bed, at the rumpled sheets, at the clear evidence the space had already been occupied. He looked back at Aaron and set his shoulders. “He asked.”

“For what?”

“You know what.” Andrew shook his head.

The shouts in Aaron’s head went silent. His hands curled into fists. Lightly. Then tighter. Tighter again. Matching the building pressure in his chest; behind his eyes.

Kevin and the car. Kevin at the bar. Kevin and Neil. Andrew and Kevin.

“Is that what you were fighting about, earlier?”

“Nobody was fighting.”

“Well there was definitely something.”

“Obviously it wasn’t Kevin. You’re supposed to be the intelligent one, are you not? You can surely figure that out.”

“Then what—“

“You,” Andrew cut him off sharply. “It was about you.”

Aaron stared at him.

Andrew grit his teeth. “He told me that I should invite Katelyn one of these weekends.” When Aaron didn’t, couldn’t, respond, Andrew added offhandedly, “I reminded him the car only has five seats.”

This was pointless. “Fine. But this isn’t about me. Why would you let him?” Aaron demanded, venom building once more, vehemence rearing its head. “How can you let them?”

Andrew stared silently at him.

“That’s not your deal. It’s not your promise to give them whatever the fuck they ask. It’s not his right to ask in the first place. If Neil wanted to be with Kevin, then good fucking riddance.” Aaron knew he was wrong. There was no proof. There was evidence against him. He was grasping at straws; relying on lies. He couldn’t stop now that he’d started. “All they do is use you, it’s all they’ve ever fucking done! They ask for one thing and another and you give it to them, so they ask for this but they fucking can’t—“

“I asked,” Andrew cut him off. It was louder than he usually bothered to raise his voice, held more power than he ever bothered to waste on speaking to Aaron, and it stopped him directly in his tracks.

He stared.

Quieter, Andrew continued. “I am the one who asked. It was not Neil who wanted to be with Kevin to begin with.”

Aaron stared, and stared.

The face looking back could have been his own, but he didn’t know it at all. He wasn’t allowed to.

He wanted to ask. He wanted to demand. He wanted to rebuke and recoil and shout some more. He wanted to go back out and slam Kevin into another wall, and Neil along with him.

Because they were wanted.

Even though Andrew didn’t want anything, always claimed to never want anything. Them, he wanted.

Aaron had betted on it once; had hoped and prayed for it, even while rebelling against it. He had told Andrew to choose and had known he would not be chosen. Not anymore—not over Neil.

Kevin had been there so much longer. He’d had his own deal. He hadn’t been all that different to Aaron.

It was not that he had been wanted.

But it was.

His fists had slackened enough to allow his hands to tremble. He tightened them again. He wanted to shout and demand. There was only one thing he found he could ask.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Andrew let out a short breath, and gave him a tired look. He nodded towards the hall.

“I only reacted this way because I didn’t know,” Aaron said. “Because you didn’t tell me.”

“I did not hide it, either. I did not talk to you about it because it is none of your business, and because I knew you would not understand.”

Aaron grit his teeth. “How can I understand what I don’t even know?”

“You think you know better,” Andrew said, which seemed to be more of a continuation of his previous words than an answer to the question. “Since you’ve known my choice has been taken from me before you cannot comprehend that I can make them on my own now.”

“No, I can’t, Andrew,” he snapped. “I can’t understand how, after what they—after all that has happened to you, how you can honestly let people like them—“

Andrew cut him off. “Don’t. Do not attempt to talk about them as if I am better. You have never believed that yourself.”

That wasn’t the point, but Aaron didn’t say this, because he knew Andrew already knew, too, but that Andrew also couldn’t let the comment pass. It did not matter, necessarily, that it was Kevin and Neil, and that they had each been raised with their own violence. The addition of Kevin should not have been extreme either way in the face of Neil’s extremities, which were the only ones truly, likely capable of surpassing Andrew’s. Maybe it should, but it did not matter that the hands Andrew had chosen seemed more dangerous on the surface than those he’d suffered under before.

If he had chosen someone with a past of sunshine and rainbows and hands free of scars, Aaron would have only understood it less.

“How?” he repeated, lost as to what else he could do. “How is it okay? You haven’t even spoken about it with Bee.”

Andrew pressed his lips into a line, and Aaron understood all too quickly.

“You have. Just not when I was there,” he realised, tonelessly.

“It has nothing to do with you,” Andrew reiterated. “It is none of your business. Of course I still talk to Bee for me.”

“So you do struggle with it,” Aaron said, feeling like he was gaining ground even though he knew it was falling away beneath him. “Then why? Why do you do it if it’s so hard? They are the most difficult people on the planet, so why is it them?”

Andrew raised his voice. “Maybe they don’t make it easy, but you make it hard.”

Aaron stopped. Andrew’s words and his tone and his breath had gone harsh, and Aaron stared at him and took a step back.

“They ask me, too,” Andrew said, quieter again, quieter than he’d been the whole time. “They ask me yes or no and they listen to what I tell them, and I ask them. They do not get angry, or annoyed, or offended when I struggle with them. And they—“ he came closer and poked his finger into Aaron’s chest “—do not fucking fight me when I do try to care.”

Aaron blinked.

All the fight ran from him, swiftly and suddenly, until he was standing eye to eye with his brother and still feeling much smaller.

“I don’t…I wouldn’t fight you,” he said, in meek disbelief.

Andrew gave him another one of those tired looks. “It’s all you have ever done.”

“No, you just don’t care!” He felt all the emotion swirl and tumble back to life in his chest when Andrew didn’t react. “I killed somebody for you.”

“So we are even,” Andrew said, shrugging. “You can go.”

Aaron blanched. “What? Andrew—“

“No. If you have a problem, you can go. Nobody is stopping you. Neil managed to hitchhike his way out of here. You’re smarter than him, aren’t you?”

Still all in a monotone. Still all unaffected. Not caring. Never caring.

He moved around Aaron and flicked a careless hand. “Get out.”

“Andrew—“

“Now.”

Aaron left.

The others weren’t lingering outside the door, which would have been odd had it been anyone but Neil and Kevin, who not only respected but protected Andrew’s privacy with a trusting ease that Aaron envied. Everything was another thing for him to envy.

They had collected in the living room instead. Neil and Kevin sat on the couch. Neil sat with his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, murmuring something that was not working to soothe Kevin’s worried expression. Nicky sat in the armchair. Even while watching Neil and Kevin with wide, gooey eyes, he anxiously tapped both hands and feet in mindless, irritating patterns.

It took them longer than it should have to notice him. Nicky eagerly learned forward, Neil cast blank eyes over him, Kevin made an aborted movement to get to his feet.

“Aaron,” Kevin said, but Aaron was already moving past them all and back to his room.

It took only a few minutes for knocks to sound on his door.

“Can I come in?” Nicky called hesitantly. Then, when Aaron didn’t answer, “I’m coming in.”

Aaron continued staring at the ceiling as Nicky came and settled himself on the end of his bed. He pulled himself into a cross-legged pose and smoothed out the covers by Aaron’s legs. Fidgety, as usual, but unpredictably quiet. They sat for a few moments in silence until Aaron finally gave in.

“Did you know?”

Nicky’s gaze snapped up to him. “No! Oh my god, no, you would’ve known if I did.” Then, higher-pitched, “I can’t believe we didn’t know.”

“Andrew said they weren’t hiding it.”

“Hardly,” Nicky scoffed, then hummed. “Okay, maybe. Ugh. It’s because we’re not in the dorm with them!”

Aaron rolled his eyes. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard so he could frown at Nicky. “What about every weekend when we were here? How long have they been…” he trailed off, unable to even find the words, never mind say them aloud.

Nicky shrunk down slightly. He averted his gaze back to the sheets, fidgeting again, shuffling his weight and plucking at the thin material. He appeared both wary and stern when he looked back up at Aaron. “It’s not so weird. There are plenty of relationships like this, with three people, all the same sex or not. It’s unfair of you to treat Kevin like that just because it ‘grosses you out’,” Nicky air-quoted, tone thick with sarcasm and threaded with anger.

“Wait, hang on.” Aaron sat up straighter and glared at him. “Is that what you think? I’m not being homophobic, asshole.”

“It wouldn’t be new,” Nicky pointed out defensively.

“It’s not about them,” Aaron said. “I don’t—it doesn’t matter. It’s Andrew. It’s how Andrew can—even with Neil, I don’t…”

He made a frustrated sound. Nicky frowned and scooted closer, settling a gentle hand around his ankle and squeezing. He had gone from stern to concerned in seconds, and it made something in Aaron’s chest clench.

Nicky was not the perfect caretaker by any means, but he was the best Aaron and Andrew had ever had, at least. Aaron knew neither of them made it easy, because the people they had grown up to be were not easily lovable. He knew that Nicky tried regardless. No one tried harder for them than Nicky, not even Katelyn or Neil, not in the same ways. Aaron knew that. You make it hard. He knew that, too. Sometimes he meant to and sometimes he didn’t.

But Andrew was worse, in ways only Nicky and Aaron had experienced and understood. Aaron had been sure that Nicky would just understand.

“How can he trust them?” Aaron eventually got out. He had thought it would sound angry. But it was a wounded whisper. Nicky cared enough to try to understand, and Aaron was pleading with him to prove it.

Instantly, Nicky’s eyes widened, then turned pitying. “Aaron,” he sighed.

“No, Nicky. After what all those assholes did to him, how can he—with anybody?”

“Well,” Nicky tilted his head, thoughtful, and Aaron already knew he was going to say something stupid. “I’m actually not a hundred percent sure of the mechanics, because porn is definitely not like, a rule—“

“Jesus, Nicky,” Aaron complained, thumping his head back against the headboard. “It’s not a fucking joke.” And he definitely did not want to know about that. There were certain anatomy classes he did not need to take, and certainly not from his gay cousin, with his apparently even gayer twin as the mannequin.

Nicky bit his lip and shook his head. “Okay, sorry. You’re right. But Aaron—I really don’t think it’s that complicated. That’s Andrew’s choice.”

“How can you just accept it? How do you know they’re not taking advantage of Andrew and his stupid fucking deals?”

“They haven’t had a deal in a long time,” Nicky pointed out.

Aaron shook his head. “We don’t know that.”

Nicky squinted in thought. Aaron reminded himself how stupid it was that the others dismissed Nicky as the idiot. He was on occasion, of course, but there were other times in which he did make Aaron feel like the child. Nicky’s mistakes almost always came from a good place; he wasn’t stupid.

Still, it was unexpected when he understood even better than Aaron thought.

After a moment, he was sighing and scooting closer to Aaron again, tucking his hands into his lap. “I thought you already worked out that Andrew’s deals are so he won’t be left behind,” he said softly. He didn’t bother giving Aaron time to respond or pretending they were talking about Kevin and Neil; he continued without any cushioning. “You know that he thought you would only stay as long as your deal lasted. He always thinks he’ll be forgotten once he isn’t needed.”

“Isn’t that the problem?” Aaron demanded. “If he does anything because he thinks it’s the only way—“

“Oh, come on, Aaron. This isn’t about Kevin and Neil.”

“No. It’s about Andrew.”

Nicky sighed again. “Okay, then. You know how I think he does it? Because they didn’t forget him. It doesn’t matter if they made another deal—they stuck around to do it, and deals are how Andrew works. They’re how he feels safe as well as how he protects.”

Aaron went to speak, then realised he didn’t know what to say.

“You know them, Aaron,” Nicky tried, exasperated. “All you have to do is watch them for a day to see they probably make a hundred little deals each time. What did Andrew say to you about it?”

Aaron hesitated, but Nicky would clearly wait him out. “He said that they ask,” he admitted reluctantly. “And that he was the one to ask first.”

Nicky allowed a small smile. Even this was beaming. After a second, he was burying his face in his hands and muffling what could’ve been a scream or a squeak.

“Nicky,” Aaron complained.

“I know, I know, okay,” Nicky mumbled from behind his hands, making another noise before he let them drop and took a deep breath. His smile still hadn’t disappeared. “Don’t you think it’s actually amazing for Andrew? I mean, God. Neil is insane—not literally, like, in a catch sort of way—and I always said Kevin was a dream. Andrew got that.” He sat back. “Oh my god, how much game does he have?”

“Nicky,” Aaron pleaded. He was somewhat gratified when his cousin instantly turned to him and eased up on his awestruck expression.

Nicky squeezed his leg once more and finally said, “No. You don’t get to be jealous or mad about it. Aaron, it’s a good thing. A great thing, even. Always fighting Andrew about it just pushes him further away.”

“I asked him,” Aaron snapped. He hated how much it reminded him of what Andrew himself had said. Aaron wasn’t trying to fight him or push him away; he just wanted a life of his own, too. “He broke our deal because he chose Neil.”

“Of course he chose Neil. Neil was choosing him back.”

Aaron’s hands curled on his lap.

Nicky gave in and reached for them hesitantly, holding them between his own with care when Aaron didn’t pull away. “You used Neil as a way to get out of your deal with him. And I agree that maybe that deal was never the fairest, but it made sense to Andrew. It made him feel like he was protecting you and it made him feel safe. Don’t you think he just felt the same way you do now?”

Aaron gritted his teeth and squeezed his hands around Nicky’s, knowing that it was probably hurting but that Nicky wouldn’t pull away. “Does Andrew really feel anything?” he muttered, his last, weakest defense.

“God, do you talk about anything in therapy?” Nicky asked, exasperated. He shook his head again. He continued in a much gentler manner. “Neil and Kevin, they proved they would stay. And you were there, already leaving him as much as you could.”

Aaron looked away.

“Listen. If you want things to ever get better with Andrew, you just have to show him.” Nicky squeezed Aaron’s hands once more, and waited a minute before retracting himself and quietly leaving the room.

Aaron slumped back down on the bed and covered his face with his hands, blowing out a sigh.

He got a fitful sleep. It absolutely did not help that he was thinking of who was where and what was going on behind the walls around him. He’d gotten used to zoning such thoughts out, immune to the sight and idea of Andrew and Neil together. Now that Kevin was apparently in the mix, a whole plethora of torturous questions and images assaulted his mind again. He had liked Kevin before this.

He still did, he supposed. Neil and Kevin weren’t really the problem. Kevin was one of them, even though he was a pain in the ass. Aaron and Neil still communicated mostly in barbs, but there was a grudging companionship there, too. He was one of them, too, and they both cared about Andrew in their own ways, and Aaron probably didn’t hate him as much as he once did.

Hating them was never the problem; loving Andrew was.

In the morning, he trudged down to the kitchen last. Kevin was slumped over the table, half asleep as Nicky chattered away to him. Neil was cooking something and ignoring where Andrew hovered at his shoulder, looking only slightly more rumpled than usual with a possible hangover and coffee already in his hands.

Aaron slumped into the chair next to Kevin and ignored how conversation stopped and they all stared at him. Neil was the only one who spared him nothing more than a glance. Kevin sat stiffly in his seat, eyeing him much more obviously than he usually would have done anything. Nicky flicked his eyes from Aaron to Andrew, who had turned to lean back against the counter and stare his twin down. Aaron stared back until Andrew raised a brow.

“Have you become liberal enough overnight to accept that your brother is part of a threesome, or do you just want breakfast before your hitchhiking?” Andrew asked bluntly.

Aaron felt the absurd urge to laugh when Kevin choked on air at the comment. He settled for rolling his eyes and holding Andrew’s gaze. “I’m not leaving, dickhead.”

He saw Nicky grin out of the corner of his eye. Andrew considered him for another moment, and then his lips twitched. He gave a curt nod and went back to harassing Neil by jostling his elbow as he cooked whatever was in the pan.

Kevin was the only one who still hadn’t relaxed. Aaron felt a little sick with himself. He swallowed down the aftertaste of the words he’d said the night before and turned to his friend.

“I still like you better than Josten,” he offered, ignoring Neil’s scoff. “But if I ever have to hear your sex noises I’m never speaking to you again.”

Kevin turned a little green, which was comforting enough. Then he grinned, because he knew it was the closest Aaron would give to an apology, and for them it was enough. Aaron gave him a pointed look and Kevin ruffled his hair, then hooked his arm around the back of Aaron’s chair in, Aaron supposed, their odd approximation of a hug.

Nicky bounced to his feet, then continued bouncing on his heels and held his arms out until Neil permitted a one-sided hug. “One of you are going to give me details,” he sang.

“No,” the three of them said together.

Nicky shot Kevin a betrayed look, then sighed. “I had hopes for you.”

“That was your mistake,” Neil told him, and that was that.

+1. Neil

Neil sat on the beanbag chair with his head tilted back and mouth wide open as he tossed a grape in the air, then grunted when it hit him on the nose. He heard a low puff of breath, the closest thing to a huff Andrew expressed, and flicked his eyes to the beanbag beside him. Andrew had been meticulously working through a tub of ice cream for the past ten minutes and wasn’t even looking, but he’d clearly been watching Neil long enough to witness his one embarrassing failure. It was enough to make Neil’s lips twitch in a smile.

“Staring,” Andrew said, after a mere ten seconds.

Neil watched him lick ice cream off his spoon and hummed in acknowledgment. He still couldn’t understand how Andrew could eat as much crap as he did and not be sick, but Neil had still been the one to buy him the tub. Kevin would probably blame him just as much for that little fact, and it wouldn’t stop either of them from doing it again. Andrew liked ice cream, and Neil liked when he could give Andrew something he liked, and Kevin liked complaining and deluding himself into thinking he had any control over either of them.

Well, he might have had a (lot) little bit of a sway, but it had never worked with ice cream.

The natural and familiar way Kevin crept into his thoughts while he was looking at Andrew made him huff as he popped another grape in his mouth. He had given up throwing them. “Do you know what Matt and Dan have started teasing me about?” When he predictably got zero response from Andrew, he bit into another grape and continued. “That they’re pissed I told them I don’t swing and now I have two boyfriends.”

Andrew scooped up another spoonful and remained disinterested. “That is because you tell them too much and make it easy.”

“What do you mean?” Neil scoffed. “I don’t tell them anything.”

Andrew gave him a look.

“Okay, fine, they found out Kevin’s a cuddler when I was drunk, so what? That’s hardly breaking news.”

“It might as well be on this team,” Andrew pointed out, scooping up another spoonful. “What did you say when they said that?”

“That I don’t have any boyfriends,” Neil said, exasperated, “and they rolled their eyes and, I think, started flirting with me...again.”

He noticed too late that Andrew had frozen.

His spoon was paused just a little above the tub, stilled mid-motion. The ice cream it had gathered slowly attempted to slip off. Andrew had turned to stare at Neil with his blank, searching expression and hadn’t seemed to notice.

Neil blinked over at him. “I don’t think they mean it,” he said hesitantly. “The flirting. It’s not bad either, or anything, I mean you know Matt and Dan are respectful.”

Andrew kept staring at him.

“What?” Neil asked.

“Why do you tell them that?”

Neil raised a brow. “Tell them...what?”

Andrew looked at him like he was an idiot, which was really just his default expression. “They already know. Why are you lying to them about it now?”

“I’m not lying.” It sounded a bit like a question, so Neil collected himself and went on. This was even more unsure. “I don’t have any boyfriends.”

There was another moment of staring in silence. Then something shuttered over Andrew’s expression, and he slowly set his near-empty ice cream aside. He shifted around so he was slightly facing Neil. “Kevin,” he said slowly, “is as much yours as mine.”

Neil opened his mouth. Closed it again. Furrowed his brow. “Yes. I know that.”

“Do you?” Andrew asked. “Did you—is that what you want?”

“What? Kevin?”

Andrew nodded.

“Of course,” Neil said. “Why are you even asking that?”

It was a ridiculous question. Neil knew Andrew probably never saw it as such, because he would never accept what had been said once as something that applied always. It likely didn’t help that it had been an important and necessary question once, and one that Neil had taken a good chunk of time to think about.

Wanting was at once all too familiar and too foreign to him. For so long he had wanted what he could not have. Stability, exy, safety. A home. People. A life. He’d wanted both the most basic rights and the silliest luxuries with an almost debilitating ferocity. Wanting might as well have been the only thing he felt for a long time.

But wanting in life and wanting in love were two separate things, and the latter was a lot less familiar to Neil. He recognised it in fits and starts, in how he’d wanted Wymack to be proud of him and how he’d wanted Matt to be his friend and all the other Foxes along the way. Even then, he knew there was a want that went deeper that he hadn’t ever felt. He’s sure this was why it took him so long to understand it to begin with.

Andrew had been the first person to give him everything he wanted. He’d given Neil all those things he’d been trying to run towards while thinking he was running away. He’d given Neil a sturdy, unflinching support; he’d given Neil protection; he’d even given Neil some of his game. He’d given Neil a key, and then another. Stability, exy, safety. A home. A life.

But more than anything, Andrew had shown Neil that he could want people in different ways—every possible way. Wanting in touches and kisses and feelings and fantasies was new, but it became familiar very quickly. It became easier to recognise. The clench in his chest and stir in his stomach every time Andrew was near was desire in all its purest forms, and Neil was always able to see it as such.

Yet when Andrew had looked at him and first said ‘How do you feel about Kevin?’, Neil hadn’t known.

It was possible he wasn’t that oblivious to it, because he had understood almost right away that Andrew wasn’t asking if Kevin had grown into such a pain in the ass that they should stealthily and silently get rid of him. He had understood that just by asking, Andrew was acknowledging he had caught onto something that Neil hadn’t. And Neil sat silently, then, and wondered how he felt about Kevin.

Kevin was a pain in the ass, but he had, after some thought, really been the first one to give Neil what he wanted. He had given Neil exy with a stern order, and had given Neil everything by consequence.

But how did Neil feel about him?

Neil felt Kevin Day was probably his own best example of a pipe dream. He was an impossible hope. Growing up, Neil had known this and obsessed over it. Kevin Day was part of what had kept every dead version of Nathaniel Wesninski going. The best striker in Class I college exy; the Queen of the Raven’s Nest and the Foxhole Court—the deadliest piece on the board. Back then, Neil had known much deadlier things, and he had feared Kevin for much different reasons than them. At first, it hadn’t been so different. He’d feared the threat of recognition Kevin offered. He’d feared Kevin’s ability to get him killed.

Then he feared what he would lose if he so much as lost sight of Kevin once more.

Kevin had been the first person to give Neil what he had never known he wanted. He had given Neil his faith, his time, his belief. He had given Neil what could have been something like a best friend.

Neil could not bear the thought of losing him any more than Andrew. This was easy to recognise; it was honestly impossible to ignore.

After that, recognising why came in increments. Recognising what he wanted came to him again in fits and starts. He would watch Kevin on the court, or in the dorm, and there was the stir in his stomach. He would watch Kevin smile, or fall asleep, and there was the clench in his chest. He would have Kevin close, and realise the twitch in his fingers might not have been desire to strangle him through his rants at all, but just to hold on; and if he was honest, and very lucky, to hold closer.

He would watch Kevin with Andrew and suddenly discover what wanting meant.

“Because,” Andrew said eventually, “I don’t know why else you would say such a stupid thing with such confidence.”

Neil furrowed his brow at him. “I don’t understand. What have I said wrong?”

“You tell Matt and Dan they’re wrong.”

“Well,” Neil said, blinking. “They are.”

He could tell Andrew was getting exasperated, or annoyed, or whatever it was that Andrew actually got. He would say Andrew was losing his patience, but he wasn’t sure patience was an emotion Andrew would like Neil saying he had in the first place. “You are as thick as it gets. What do you mean when you tell them that?”

“That I don’t have ‘boyfriends’,” Neil air-quoted, exasperated.

“How do you see Kevin?”

“Andrew, what? What do you mean?”

Andrew’s jaw clenched. “I asked, and you said yes. Was it because you wanted it or because I did?”

Neil paused.

He knew the question wasn’t as simple as that. He asked the same thing himself at the beginning. Wanting was foreign to him in this way; he knew that it was because of his sexuality (and likely somewhat due to various traumas, but that was a separate issue) that it did not always come even for Andrew.

He knew that for Andrew, it wasn’t the same. The concept and feeling of wanting wasn’t unfamiliar. But Andrew allowing himself and admitting to wanting something was so rare that Neil was always going to handle it with care. He had thought it before, Andrew wanting Kevin, and it had not hurt to discover he was right, because Neil could not, could never be hurt by Andrew healing.

He hadn’t really been surprised that it hadn’t hurt, but he had taken the time to dissect why he found it thrilling.

“I liked that you wanted it,” he admitted easily, because their game of truths might have no longer been necessary, but neither of them had grown the habit of lying to each other. “Still when you want it, it makes me want it more. But that doesn’t mean it’s only a yes to you.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“No,” Neil said, firm. “Andrew. I wouldn’t say yes to Kevin if I didn’t mean it, any time he asks. I still kiss Kevin when you’re not around. I do more than kiss Kevin when you’re not around. Not just because it’s something you want.”

It was not always easy, and not always obvious, but with Kevin, as well, it was always yes. This wasn’t yes for the touches and kisses in the same way he wasn’t always able to touch and kiss Andrew. But it was yes for Kevin by his side, for Kevin in his heart, for Kevin as essential, always. The form in which Neil had him did not entirely matter, as long as he was not lost. Neil simply wanted Kevin like he wanted all of his basic and luxurious things.

He hesitated, looking at Andrew. “I mean, it is something you want, isn’t it?”

Andrew pursed his lips. He sounded strained as he spoke again. “You know the answer to that. But I would not ask—I don’t want anything that ruins this—“ He cut himself off, but he had already flicked his fingers between them.

That brought Neil to a halt. Mostly, the words fell apart because he knew they were not true. Andrew would not give him up easily, and he knew this, but Kevin would be just as impossible to detach. It wasn’t any different for Neil. Kevin was woven so tightly into the ties that bound them that if he was cut out, they would all fall apart.

The other thing was, “This?”

Andrew rolled his eyes so exaggeratedly Neil thought they might get stuck looking up into his own head. “Don’t be an idiot,” he sniped again.

“It doesn’t,” Neil said softly. “Nothing could, Drew.”

“Then why?” Andrew pressed. “What is it?”

“What’s what?”

“What makes you tell them we aren’t anything to you?”

Neil frowned. “Of course that’s not what I’m saying. No one would even believe that. They know what you mean to me. But we’re not ‘boyfriends’,” he air-quoted. “I’m not going to give you any more reasons to threaten to stab them.”

Andrew stared at him, again, in blank silence.

Then he said, “You are a fucking disgrace. There is not a single brain cell to be found. I can’t believe there are people who think you are smart.”

“Uhm,” Neil said, scowling. “Thanks, fuck you too.”

Andrew rolled his eyes skyward. “At least now I understand it is just your supreme stupidity.”

“Alright, cool, keep going.”

“Your friends aren’t wrong, you imbecile.”

Neil was, once again, brought to a halt. All he could say, however, was, “Our friends.” Andrew stretched his leg over and kicked him, lightly. “Are you saying that you’re my boyfriend?”

“Christ, Neil,” Andrew sighed.

At that, Neil frowned. He adjusted himself in the beanbag so he was sitting up and leaning over slightly. “No, asshole, you don’t get to ‘Christ, Neil’ me. How the hell should I have known?”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am. I mean, Andrew, can you even say the word?”

“Boyfriend,” Andrew said, deadpan. Then, “Times two.”

Neil blinked at him, and sat back. “Well. Okay, then.”

“I cannot believe you.”

“Don’t tell Kevin,” Neil said quickly. “He’ll just get pouty.”

It wasn’t quick enough. The door opened midway through the words and permitted Kevin, who sported damp hair and three shopping bags. He marched into the dorm and dropped them on the counter with a frown already directed their way. “I do not pout,” he said. “What are you not telling me?”

Neil shot Andrew a look, but of course there was no point. Andrew was already ignoring him in favour of being a little shit.

“Neil hasn’t been thinking of you as his boyfriend,” he said bluntly. “Aren’t you heartbroken?”

Kevin did, indeed, look incredibly wounded. He was most definitely pouting.

“Kev,” Neil said, “it’s not like that.”

Andrew let out his breath of amusement, but Kevin simply leaned on the counter and waited.

Neil gave them both exasperated looks. “It’s just the label. Andrew never admits to this being anything, and Kevin, I don’t know if you want to call anyone your boyfriend ever, so how the hell should I have known?”

This time, Kevin actually looked thoughtful.

Then he burst out laughing.

Through the corner of his eye, Neil saw Andrew’s shoulders slump. It obviously had the same effect on him as it did on Neil; the flutter and the stir at once, combined with a few kicks and flicks and cartwheels. It was impossible to look away from, even when the sound dissipated and the only lingering effect was the faint smile.

Only then did Kevin look to Andrew, and a few breathless chuckles of amusement still infused his tone. “He does have a point. Can you even say the word?”

Neil made a triumphant noise.

“Times two,” Andrew repeated dryly. It wasn’t quite as put together as usual. “Boyfriend. Can you?”

“Well,” Kevin said, straightening to his full height and letting them know he was about to remind them he was still a pain in the ass in the less intimate sense. “I don’t know why I would or if I should. I have never actually been asked.”

It took Neil a moment to parse the meaning of his words, but Andrew’s hefty sigh helped.

“Kevin,” Andrew said. “Be my boyfriend. Yes or no?”

Kevin grinned at him. “Yes.”

“Neil?” Andrew asked, turning to him.

Neil crossed his arms and sunk into his beanbag. “I might have to think about it.”

Andrew scoffed.

“I’m serious,” Neil said. “I’ve been heavily insulted in the past few minutes. I’m not sure that’s boyfriend material.”

“Can I still be your boyfriend, Neil?” Kevin asked, all cheek.

Neil nodded instantly. “Yes.”

Andrew glared between them. “I hate you both,” he announced, as if they hadn’t heard it and never believed it a million times before.

“I got you sprinkles and chocolate to toss in your ice cream,” Kevin told him.

“I hate you less than him.” Andrew nodded his head towards Neil, picking up his earlier discarded tub of ice cream. It was considerably less solid than before.

“Who got you the ice cream in the first place?” Neil grumbled.

Andrew ignored him to continue talking to Kevin. “Leave it on the counter.”

Kevin was already in the process of doing so, and it made Andrew’s lips twitch, which reignited the flutter and stir in Neil with a vengeance. This was an unnatural and rare kindness for Kevin, and Neil wondered what the man planned to bribe Andrew into later. He still frowned at Andrew when he made his way to them and Andrew stood with tub in hand, but he only said, “That is basically over-sweetened milk. Shouldn’t you put it back in the freezer for a while first?”

Andrew simply stuck a foot out and tripped him on the way past. Kevin was quick enough that it did not faze him much, but he was close enough that Neil could also latch onto his wrist and tug while Kevin was distracted scowling at Andrew. Kevin tumbled forward and Neil guided him to the beanbag Andrew had just vacated.

Kevin huffed, but folded his long form onto the cushiony surface, lovely legs sprawled in front of him and body turned ever so slightly towards Neil with his head rested back. Neil took the position as an opportunity to lean over, hovering his face an inch away from Kevin’s until Kevin nodded and pulled him into a kiss.

“Having fun?” Andrew said dryly. Kevin and Neil parted to find him standing over them, tub and spoon still in hand. He gave Kevin a pointed look, indicating the stolen seat. Kevin smiled at him and questioningly, gently, patted his lap, then tucked his hands under his thighs.

Andrew narrowed his eyes at them, then gave a quiet sigh. He grabbed the side of Neil’s beanbag and dragged him over with ease until the two were basically one, then sat himself in the place where they met. He settled his ice cream in his lap and, after only a moment of hesitation, hooked one leg over Kevin’s and the other over Neil’s.

Kevin snorted, but made no protest, and Neil curled himself carefully against Andrew’s side. Andrew ignored him, but relaxed as Neil nuzzled into his neck. Neil tilted his head up after a second and murmured, “Yes or no?”

“Depends,” Andrew said, which made Neil shift slightly away. “Have you thought about it yet?”

It took Neil a moment to understand. Then he huffed, amused. “Really?”

“It would be impolite to kiss you with my boyfriend present,” Andrew said, very seriously, around a spoonful that was more sprinkle than ice cream.

“Well, does that count if he’s my boyfriend too?”

“Yes,” Kevin interjected. “Andrew being my boyfriend doesn’t automatically give him the right to kiss my other boyfriend. Of course, there’s never an automatic right, but you know what I—“

Andrew flicked Kevin’s forehead mid-speech. “Don’t mansplain my relationship to me.”

Before Kevin could get pouty about this, Neil bumped his head against Andrew’s and said, “Yes, asshole. Obviously.”

“Don’t ‘obviously’ me, you oblivious idiot,” Andrew retorted. Then, because Kevin had still turned pouty, he shifted around to pull Kevin’s hand up and over his shoulder.

Kevin settled it in Neil’s hair, fingers threading through the strands, and Neil hummed and repeated his question to Andrew.

“Yes,” Andrew mumbled, already pressing sugary lips to Neil’s before pausing enough to add, “Both of you, whatever.”

Neil supposed ‘whatever’ was safe enough when Andrew had them both pinned here, and they knew his moods and rules well enough to know the light touches and careful kisses the permission indicated. He smiled into Andrew’s mouth regardless, and Andrew nipped at his lip, but hummed only a second later.

The quiet sound repeated after a minute, and when Neil pulled away he realised it was because Kevin had tucked his face into Andrew’s neck. Neil grinned at Andrew for a second before mimicking him, kissing Andrew’s neck with a light pressure.

“Oh, fuck off,” Andrew muttered, making Neil’s grin widen as Kevin gave his quiet, breathy laugh.

Kevin took pity on him first, letting up and tugging on Neil’s hair. Neil protested, but only pressed one more kiss to Andrew’s jaw before settling against his sturdy shoulder once more. He let Andrew give him a melty scoop of ice cream, wrinkling his nose at the amount of sweetness that exploded on his tongue. Andrew huffed and teasingly licked the remaining food off the spoon, comfortable in their companionable silence.

“I can’t believe,” Kevin said after a while, thoughtful and snarky, “that Neil was actually the last one to find out about this.”

Andrew hummed. “I can.”

“Hey,” Neil protested, but he couldn’t find it in himself to do much but smile at the quirk of Andrew’s lips and another of Kevin’s fond chuckles.