Chapter Text
"Tell me a story about Mama again Sata?" My little sister begged with her big dark eyes blinking up at me, I gave her a sad smile but conceded "I was there when you were born Raya, you came into the world kicking and screaming. It was only when they put you in Ba's arms that you calmed down" I tell my little sister again at 12 years old Raya was energetic, trusting, outgoing but hopelessly naive and I worried for the day my little sister got hurt. "Mama was disgruntled that after nine and a half months of hard work all it took was one moment in Ba's arms and you settled right down, you did not make the pregnancy easy, always kicking and moving and fighting. you gave her strange cravings, kept her up at night the entire kingdom of heart celebrated when there was news of you coming to life. they invited everyone from the other kingdoms" She frowned "Why would they do that? why would Ba put her in danger like that" I gave a soft and bitter laugh "I've been asking myself the same question for twelve years, Raya. But it wasn't a complete disaster people came and paid their respects, mothers from all over the kingdom were joyed that there were two babies born to the royal family of heart, many wished me to be married off to the sons of their countries nobles for more resources and whatnot. When you were born another celebration was held, this one did not go so well" I stated Raya clung closer to me. "Our mother was fierce, beautiful, powerful in ways that only a woman with a true heart can be. She had light brown hair, hazel eyes and your smile, she was lithe and strong. The celebration ended. I think that is enough for tonight Raya. I love you Em gái" She snuggled down and went to sleep I made my way to the temple instead.
"You are pensive my daughter" I sighed shaking my head "You remember as well as I do what happened last time you invited outsiders into our home Cheif Benja what happens if they succeed in hurting your youngest this time? that assassination was never against her but against the second daughter. I was the one who found him standing over her crib, I will not let you put my daughter or my sister in harm's way" he flinched "What happened was never proven to be an outside source" I was blinded by my rage that I had to pause "I will not continue this conversation I am too angry as of yet father. We will finish this discussion later Cheif Benja." I tell my father rising, "Why is it so hard for you to let go of your anger Princess Satria ?" He asked I clench my fists and turned on my heel pushing him in the chest "YOU COST ME, MY MOTHER!" I screamed at him he stumbled back and fell into the water. I exhaled still angry "I had no desire to hurt you but you pushed my buttons. It is clear, I no longer have a place in Heart nor in Kumandra. I will be leaving in the morning after I say goodbye to Raya, she is not reason enough to stay" I state my father looked betrayed and hurt in the water on the stones "Daughter I never meant" I snorted "I know you didn't BUT YOU NEVER THINK EITHER" I snapped.
"She was your wife why are you not angry why are you risking your daughters, your granddaughter?" He winced getting up "Satria, I would never put you or Raya or Intan in danger" he pleaded my guilt was there I had broken our traditions in more ways than one tonight "And yet you insist upon it by inviting those vipers into Heart?" I snapped rhetorically. I was angry but it was making me tired "Do what you will father I am tired of this argument we will only go around in circles. I love you but I cannot allow myself or my daughter to be harmed" I tell him softly "Please give them this one chance? if it fails, you have my blessing to turn us into an isolationist colony for our people to retreat to the water lakes beneath Heart. However, if it goes well? Then please reconsider your abdication of the throne?!" He begged I sighed taking his hands "Ba, you are a good man, with a good heart. I don't doubt that you are trying your best to unite our people. But you are also blinded by your softness as I am rage. this will only end in tears and I'm afraid I am going to lose you next you are a wonderful single parent to Raya and I but I am not you. I can not hold the title and my child in equal measures" I countered he sighed his entire body deflating hugging me tightly. "Just one more chance" He pleaded in my ear. I sighed holding him tightly taking in everything about him "One last chance baba" I agreed while feeling a sense of dread in my stomach.