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After Peter Parker had become a doctor for the infamous Wayne family, after figuring out their alter-ego identities, and even after they figured out his (Tony was furious with him), he could never have foreseen that things would become like this.
How was he supposed to know that the Wayne’s were complete control freaks and had the jealousy and possessiveness of a full grown wolf pack? Honestly, how did he ever get involved in this shitshow?
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1) Bruce:
“Pete!” The call was uncharacteristically loud in the morning. Peter sipped at his coffee as Tony’s smiling face was seen over the video call.
“Hey Mr. Stark. What’s up?” Tony pouted. In the background, the doctor could hear Colonel Rhodes’ voice pipe up.
“He still calls you that?” Tony rolls his eyes and Rhodey’s face pops up right next to Tony’s.
“Have you met him? Most tenacious kid I’ve ever met. Refuses to call me anything else.” Peter waves to Rhodey, a mischievous smile lighting up his face.
“Hey Uncle Rhodey.” The betrayed gasp from Tony and the laugh from Rhodey had Peter chuckling as well, the sound coming out slightly raspy as he had just woken up ten minutes ago.
“Traitors!” Tony points to both of them as Rhodey leaves the shot, though Peter could still hear his laughter as he enters another room. “Anyway, your birthday is coming up. Is there anything you want?”
“Straight to the point, Mr. Stark. As always.” Tony raised his hands and his expression said, ‘and?’ Peter put his hand on his chin and pretended to think really hard.
“Hmm. I’d like a planet so I can move off this Earth and become Emperor of the Memeish, where nine plus ten equals twenty-one, the road works ahead, and we’re all Jared, nineteen. All hail Emperor Peter-With-A-B, Where’s-The-B? There's-A-Bee?!” Once again, Tony rolled his eyes at his son’s ridiculous behavior.
“Har har. Seriously though. What do you want?” It was then that Peter genuinely thought about it. While he wouldn’t call himself poor growing up, he wasn’t particularly rich either. He and May got by, even when times were rough, so Peter, out of consideration of May, who had tried to give him everything he ever wanted, never wanted much. Eventually, it became habit.
“Honestly, Mr. Stark? There’s nothing I really want.” The genius snorted.
“There has to be something.” Peter thought about it again and shook his head.
“Nope. Nothing.” All was silent for a while.
“Okay. Okay, fine.” Tony leaned back against the chair. “I guess I’ll just have to buy you everything that I can think of. That you need anyway.” Peter shot up, bracing his hands against the edge of the table, feeling a bit more awake now.
“Excuse me?!”
“No. Nope. Uh-uh. You brought this on yourself, Pete. Don’t want anything? Well, don’t worry because I’ll give you everything. Just you wait. This birthday is the best birthday you’ll ever have!” Tony’s declaration had Bruce freezing as he entered the room.
‘Everything, huh?’ Bruce thinks as he admires the visage of the object of his affections. Even while slightly grainy, Tony Stark was a sight to behold.
“But- Wait- Mr. Stark.” The genius waves into the screen, a devilish smile stretching across his face.
“No buts~! Bye Petey Pie!” With that, the screen went black while Peter was spouting his protests. He gaped at the screen for a while before scrubbing his face with his hand, obviously stressed.
“Does he always spoil you like that?” Peter only nodded, he didn't even need to look back at his boss.
“I’ve always been able to stop him before.” It was then that Peter looked at Bruce, who adopted (pun intended) a look of thoughtfulness on his face and Peter had a horrible, sinking feeling in his stomach.
“Bruce, you better not be thinking what I know you’re thinking about.” Bruce hummed and turned around, walking back out of the room.
“You sound so sure, Dr. Parker. By the way, your birthday is on the 10th of this month, correct?” Peter said his name again, this time with a raised voice.
“BRUCE!”
-----
After the whole birthday fiasco (involving a flamethrower, copious amounts of pink glitter, a whole ass elephant, and three brand new cars that Peter did not give permission to receive), the night ended with Tony and Bruce arguing, because when do they ever not argue.
(It was actually just Tony bickering one-sidedly while Bruce stared down almost lovingly at the genius, only interjecting when needed.)
In the hallway, Tim, Dick, and Damian listened with mostly amused ears.
“Why does Bruce even try?” Tim, typing away on his phone, answered in an entertained tone, texting Stephanie about the chaos she just missed.
“Think of it as Bruce, in his own backwards-ass way, demonstrating that he can provide for Tony and his son with everything they would need.” Damian raised an eyebrow.
“Stark is also a billionaire, Drake. What in the world could father give that Stark could not already provide for Dr. Parker?”
Tim smirked, cocky.
“Us.”
(Bruce would never admit it to anyone else, however, he did feel some ugly and green jealousy brewing in his chest when he had heard Tony Stark promise his son whatever he wanted. He had wanted to be the one to spoil the doctor, especially after all that he’s done for the family. So he had to compete. The genius following after and getting in his face was just the bonus.)
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2) Dick:
Peter slumped against the door of his office, raising a hand to his forehead and wiping off the sweat that resided there. He was starting to get the impression that he should’ve just accepted the heirdom to Stark Industries because this shit was getting tiring.
Peter was paged at 3 in the morning for an all-hands-on-deck, and the hospital that he was still somehow contracted under (despite working for Bruce and his family for the past three years), needed him to cover for patients who were deemed a lesser priority than the emergency.
“Rough night, doctor?” A smooth voice sounded and the doctor jumped. His head snapped up to meet the icy blue eyes of Richard “Dick” Grayson-Wayne, his current boss’ eldest son. It had been a while since he was contracted under their employ and his Spidey Senses were used to the Wayne family enough to not consider them dangerous.
“Oh, it’s just you, Dick.” That got him a raised eyebrow.
“Just me?” Peter mimicked the action and raised an eyebrow in return.
“Uh, yes?” Dick didn’t shift from his spot in the swivel chair, ignoring the wind from the open window of an office from the 36th floor.
‘What the fuck,’ Peter thought tiredly, already used to it but still normal enough to know that that was not normal.
“Dr. Parker,” Dick began and Peter blanched, because Dick really only used his title in serious situations. He didn’t know what was so serious about this though. “Is it normal for you to rush out of the Manor at 3am in the morning, waking everyone up when they’re supposed to be asleep? Even Damian was ruffled.” If Peter really looked, he thought he could see a slight pout on Dick’s lips.
‘Maybe it’s a trick of the light?’ He thought with a frown.
“Well, there was an emergency and I was paged. All hands on deck kind of thing. You understand.” Dick pressed his lips together and pretended to put on a thoughtful expression before shaking his head.
“You know, I don’t think I do. Please. Enlighten me.” Peter rolled his head upwards and slumped his shoulders, the epitome of exasperation.
“You do know, Richard Grayson,” he flinched at the name because he knew that Peter only used that name when he was really frustrated.
‘Shit,’ he thinks, fearful of the growing expression of irritation on the doctor’s face. ‘How the turn tables.’
“That, even while I am under your and your father’s employ, I am still under contract with this very hospital, and the only reason why they let me go work for you is because of the fat paycheck Bruce donates every year at the Charity Ball, correct? And you do realize, that, because of that contract, I do, in fact, have other patients I must attend to when my coworkers are needed elsewhere?”
Dick was silent and he had seemed to slump down into the chair, using his foot to spin himself sulkily. Peter surged forward and grabbed the chair by the handrests, stopping it completely while Dick stared right into his eyes, blue orbs trying to be as innocent as possible. Peter wasn’t so easily convinced.
“Let me put it into simpler terms, since you, a grown man, doesn’t understand,” Peter put the chair under stress, using a small portion of his superhuman strength, “I have other patients too.” A moment passed before Dick fully pouted. A grown man, pouting. On top of that, he was a Bat. How uncharacteristic.
“Yeah, but we’re the most important.” A sulky undertone was used and he returned to spinning himself in the swivel chair.
Peter let out a louder groan, if only to hide the fact that a small part of his brain whispered,
‘Yes, you are.’
-----
3) Jason:
Jason grit his teeth as Damian got away with leaning against and wrapping his arms around the waist of Dr. Peter Parker. Bandages wrapped around his little brother’s torso and a vast majority of his arms and yet he could still move them to embrace the one they both chased after. The brat’s face peeked out from around the doctor’s lab coat and he smirked at Jason.
‘Fuckin’ demon spawn,’ he growled to himself as he returned a scowl to Damian, who only stuck out his tongue. Jason clenched his hand into a fist, something he wished he could pound into his brother’s face, especially now that the brat was taller than him.
(Jason nearly cried when he found out that Damian was an inch taller than him. It should’ve been a crime, he insisted. Bruce thought he was being dramatic. Jason didn’t know what he was talking about.)
It had been like that all week. Every time Jason tried to approach or talk to Peter, either Damian was calling or Dick was interrupting, saying that Damian needed him. Being a patient, of course, Peter went right away, and as a result, Jason had not been able to speak or even be near the doctor all week.
(It seemed that Dick was Team Damian. Shame. Guess he knew who’s equipment he was going to mess with now.)
Damian kept his beady, jade green eyes on the former crime boss, daring him to approach and fight him. They both knew what Peter would do if either of them tried to do anything on a patient that he had just patched up. Jason could swear up and down that the brat had gotten hurt on purpose to get closer to the doctor. He was even going along with whatever the doctor was saying, demanding he be on bed rest for the rest of this and next week.
Jason grit his teeth. He had had enough.
He left the room, ignoring the way the demon smirked and made his way down to the cave and grabbed his helmet, ensemble already on.
(Roy could swear that he never changed out of those clothes.)
Bruce was already down there with the Replacement and Dick, talking about an open case, monitoring any potential problems they would have on the street on the BatComputer. He turned his head when he heard Jason clamber down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” He asked as he put on the red helmet and straddled his bike. Jason tilted his head, expression mocking through his helmet (which he knew Bruce sensed).
“Either to get ice cream or to commit a heinous crime. I’ll decide on the way.” With that, he revved his engine and sped out of the cave, laughing at the screech-like noise that Bruce emitted as he left.
While Bruce hectically typed away on the BatComputer, Tim muttered to himself.
“Who knew Jason was a fan of The Golden Girls?”
Dick choked on his spit.
-----
4) Tim:
“SHURI!”
“BROKEN WHITE BOY NUMBER 7!” The look on Peter’s face was comical as Shuri cackled at the nickname. The Princess of Wakanda rushed forward to hug her long time friend and embraced Peter with all her might, regardless of the presence of one Timothy Drake. He scowled at the girl who stuck her tongue out at him, trying to suppress his irritation. It wasn’t as if she had stolen his tech-bestie from him.
(Shuri snorted.
“I met him first, colonizer. Therefore, I cannot steal something you never had.”)
“Hello, Timothy.” Her cordial greeting was accompanied by a smug smile, one he wanted to wipe off so badly. However, that would be bad press.
“Princess,” he nodded in return, a gentle tone in an attempt to hide his contempt, though his eyes conveyed enough of his ire towards her. She gave him one last smile before wrapping her arm around Peter and tugging him to her, both rushing off to invent something the world would never need.
(“It needs to be as many shades of ‘unnecessary and unneeded but cool’ as possible.”)
-----
Purple smoke cleared the room and in the middle sat Tim.
At least, a toddler version of him.
He had apparently walked in the lab at the wrong time and got himself blasted by some sort of ray that Thing One and Thing Two (read: Peter and Shuri) had made and patented (even if Peter was still a doctor, he had his own hobbies, thank you very much).
Peter and Shuri were also on their asses, knocked over by the force of the ray. Both stared at him in shock.
“T’Challa is going to kill you dumbasses.”
Apparently, despite losing his height (not that he had much in the first place) and adult body, Tim had retained his usual level of sass.
How useful (read: not useful at all).
-----
Tim peeked around the corner to see Peter and Shuri close together on the couch, watching Star Wars. He turned back and breathed in and out, conscious of the fact that Peter could probably hear him.
Conjuring up as many fake tears as possible (as many to make them seem real), he tiptoed towards the duo. He sniffled loudly for the human ears to hear. Two pairs of brown eyes turned towards him, one concerned and the other glaring.
(Shuri knew exactly what he was doing. Unfortunately, she could do nothing to prevent it. Tim had convinced Peter earlier that he had also regressed in mind as well. Shuri knew very well that he, in fact, did not.)
“What’s wrong, Tim?” Kind and genuine worry coated Peter’s tone and out of the corner of his eye, Tim could see Shuri’s eye twitch. He internally smirked in victory.
“I had a bad dream.”
Dick had popped in early to tuck him into sleep, something he hasn’t done for anyone in a long time. He obviously missed it and doted on Tim most of the day. It was likely he would continue to dote on Tim until they could find a cure.
On the other hand, Damian lorded over the fact that he was now taller than Tim by a lot, and Jason only cheered on the bullying. He’d have to get them back later.
While in bed, he had an idea, which led him to where he was right now. Giving Peter the largest puppy dog eyes he could muster, Tim let a few tears slip down his rounded cheeks.
“Can I cuddle with you?” Both Peter and Shuri seemed shocked by the request, but nonetheless, being the healing and comforting soul he was, Peter gestured him to join them and opened his arms.
Tim bounded into them, very obviously settling between Shuri and Peter, and while Peter didn’t notice, Shuri definitely did. While Peter turned his head away, Tim turned his own head towards the princess and stuck his tongue out, taunting her. She scowled.
‘Tim Drake: 1, Princess of Wakanda: 0’
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5) Damian:
“Jason!” Peter laughed, cheeks twinged with a lovely shade of pink from exertion as Jason twirled and dipped him again. They coincidentally dipped in front of Damian, who had a scowl on his face, peeking from the double doors of the foyer. Jason looked up and winked while Peter’s eyes were closed, laughing loudly. “Stop it!”
“What, doctor? You don’t like me dipping you?” To emphasize, he dipped Peter again, who let out another laugh.
“I highly doubt someone is going to dip me and twirl me like you are right now at the Charity Ball.” Jason pulled him back up and used the arm around the doctor’s waist to pull him closer, a feral and amused smile grinning down at his flushed face lit up with a smile.
At that, Jason’s grin gentled and he shifted Peter again, slotting his body against the doctor’s lithe figure. Peter’s smaller hand hung in Jason’s and the older man lowered his head to whisper in Peter’s ear. Blue green orbs met jade, clashing as Jason smirked. Damian scoffed and stalked away, footsteps loud and demanding.
Peter jolted, not registering the youngest Wayne’s audience and turned his head to see Damian’s broad back, muscles twitching as he prowled down the hallway. The couple had momentarily paused their practicing and Jason looked after his little brother with a self-satisfied expression.
‘Payback is a bitch, demon spawn~’ he sang internally as Peter shrugged and they returned to their dance and speaking about Dick’s most recent accident in the kitchen that had him banned until whenever Alfred invites him back in.
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6) The Wayne Family
Jason loosened his tie as Tim stood beside him and both watched as Lex Luthor swayed with one Dr. Peter Parker on their own dance floor, despite the whispers that occurred around them. They were at Wayne Enterprises, using one of their premium ballrooms as a site for the Charity Ball.
They were on their turf. And yet, one of their more prolific enemies was dancing with the one thing that was sacred to them all. Both boys could see Bruce and Damian stiffen from across the room and they could see Dick subtly glancing in the direction of the dance floor every few minutes, no doubt looking for eyes on Lex and Peter.
“I want to break them up so badly.”
“Careful,” Bruce rumbles at Jason from across the room, their comms crackling in their ears (used for dire situations, in case a villain broke in or something happened. It was Gotham. Who knows?). Jason scoffs and tucks his hands into his pockets, and mutters quietly to his little brother next to him in an attempt to make it seem like they were in a conversation to steer away lonely and desperate party-goers. They didn’t need that at the moment. They needed to focus on their target.
For the next excruciating five minutes, the entire Wayne family had to watch as Lex got intimately close with their beloved doctor, who indulged him as to not embarrass the family name.
It was long (at least, it seemed that way) and horrible. Finally, though, the song came to an end and Peter finally separated from the bald conglomerate. They shook hands in the middle of the dance floor both smiling as they did so. However, it was then that Lex chose to utter something, a statement that had Peter’s smile hardening at the edges and his toes shifting in his leather loafers.
In a subtlety that only the Wayne’s could see, Peter held Lex’s hand longer but tightened by a considerable amount. Even as Lex Luthor was a strong and smart man, he could not handle Peter’s superstrength.
The doctor said something back, something Lex was required to smile at, lest he lose face. His smile was strained and the Bats could just hear the creaking of his bones as Peter nearly broke them.
After a few more seconds, Peter finally let him go and walked away with a confidence that was obviously something he had learned from Tony, tossing back departing words with a nonchalance about his demeanor, as if nothing had just happened.
Five pairs of blue eyes zeroed in on the purpling color of the tips of Lex’s fingers as he flexed them and they all stifled a chuckle.
That was their doctor.
-----
“So what did Lex Luthor talk to you about, Dr. Parker?” Damian asked casually as they settled into the limousine. Peter tilted his head, eyes still staring out the window.
“He asked me to be his doctor. So I asked him if he had kids.” Everyone in the limo smirked but just for the fun of it…
“Does he?” Dick asked, his words murmured. His expression was devilish and predatory. Peter shook his head.
“Nope.”
“So what did you say?” Jason asked, eyes appraising and looking as if they were glowing in the dark. Peter shivered. These people were more dangerous than they seem.
“That I already had a family.” He gave a gentle smile and the Wayne family’s faces became a twinge more soft.
“Tt. Of course, Dr. Parker.” Damian raised his eyebrow, looking as if his answer was supposed to be obvious. “If you’re with us, you’ll never want for anything ever again.” Just like his older brother’s, his own jade green eyes looked as if they were glowing in the dark of the car.
Peter smiled and Dick broke the tension.
“Did anyone see Mrs. Brooke?” Jason scoffed.
“That old bat, no pun intended, Bruce-” The conversation broke off from there. However, Dr. Peter Parker was lost in his thoughts, looking out at the Gotham skyline on a rare cloudless night.
The moon shined down on his face, stars twinkling around it. He then tore his gaze away from the sky to look around at the family he’s gathered, a found family that he collected in the most surprising of places and in the most surprising of ways.
‘That’s where you’re wrong Damian. I’ve wanted something for so long,’ he thinks, eyes sad as they turn back out to the skyline, ‘but I can never have them.’