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“‘The crown prince reveals: it’s me in the video,’” Ayub reads off of his phone, and the room goes silent.
Simon, who’s been lying on the couch for the last hour or so, just hiding between all the pillows, stomach hurting from all the nerves, almost throws himself off of the couch in his hurry to see the news with his own two eyes. Even if Wille had promised to be honest, to reveal that it was him in the video, the weight that lifts off of Simon’s shoulders is indescribable.
He practically tears the phone from Ayub’s fingers, and just like Ayub said, at the top of the page, it says exactly that.
BREAKING NEWS: THE CROWN PRINCE REVEALS: “IT IS ME IN THE VIDEO.”
For a short moment, Simon goes quiet. Everything inside of him just stops, his thoughts, his breaths, he’s even pretty sure that his heart stops - then, he panics. This was what he hoped for, but now that he sees it written out, in actual words, it all feels a tiny bit overwhelming. It’s more than what he had dared to hope, more than what he was prepared for. Rosh, who’s thrown herself in between Simon and Ayub, presses a smudgy finger on the screen, opening the article before them.
“Well, we have to see what he said,” she says, when Ayub loudly protests about the added weight and his newly smudged screen.
The article isn’t really an article, per se, it’s just a short introduction to the topic, and then some prompting to watch the clip above. It’s a short clip, only a minute or so long, but they start it anyway, because it’s important. Wille is important.
He’s on a chair, Wille that is, with neat clothes and a polite smile on his lips. He’s looking straight into the camera, but occasionally glances at something behind the camera. He looks like he’d rather be anywhere else than in front of a camera.
When he starts talking, it’s stilted. Like he’s reading from a carefully planned script that someone’s written for him. Which it probably is, Simon thinks to himself. Everything that Wille has said about life as a prince makes Simon feel pretty sure of that.
“I started at Hillerska to focus on my studies and did not plan on engaging in any emotional relationships,” he begins, but then goes quiet. He straightens himself up, pulls his hands through his styled hair and fixes his dark blue suit. This time, he looks straight into the camera and carries himself in a way that Simon has never really seen before.
Wille clears his throat, takes a deep breath, and then continues with his speech a lot more smoothly than before, “But that was not the case. The incident that took place earlier this week, when an intimate video was spread over the internet, is something that neither me nor the rest of my family supports and it should not have happened. The video in question was filmed without consent and should not have been released. However, it is me in the video, together with another student and the school, and that is not something I will apologize for. Neither the royal court nor any others involved will comment the situation any further, but we want to remind the people that everyone has the right to live like they want, whether you’re homosexual, hetero, or something else. Thank you.”
The video ends, and ads for similar articles pop up on the screen. Simon, who can’t really tear his gaze from the title of the article, and who’s been quiet for way too long, lets out a scream of pure happiness, and throws himself over Sara.
“He did it, he fucking did it!” he screams, and throws his arms around her. He almost buries himself in the warmth of his sister’s arms, and then he punches a pillow just because - he can’t content his happiness, it’s overwhelming, everything that’s happening.
“I knew he could do it, mi amor,” his mother says, and Simon loves her so, so much.
A couple of hours later, right when Simon’s turning his light off to go to bed, his phone makes a sound, indicating a new text message.
Wille<3: hi, did you see the video?
Wille<3: i’m sorry if i said something wrong
Wille<3: i just wanted to be honest
Simon can’t hide the smile that makes its way onto his face as he reads the texts from Wille. Sometimes he forgets that it’s all true. Both the part where he has a boyfriend (are they together? He’s not sure, but they’re something) , and the part where said boyfriend is the fucking crown prince of Sweden. He starts writing out a reply, but his phone continues going off, with more texts from Wille.
Wille<3: it’s ok if you’re mad
Wille<3: i can take it back if you want to
Before he starts doubting himself, Simon presses the little camera symbol in the corner, and after just a few seconds, Wille picks up.
He’s under the covers, with messy hair, and the cross that’s always around his neck now hangs against his blue pyjama shirt, and Simon really wishes that he had Wille right next to him right in this moment.
Wille smiles into the camera, but there’s something behind his eyes that looks close to breaking.
“Hi,” he greets, and Wille greets him the same. It’s awkward - the easy, light mood they usually have between feeling far away. Just when Simon’s going to start talking, Wille takes over.
“I’m sorry about what I said, that thing about not going to apologize. Maybe it was too much, I don’t know. Mom’s not too happy about it, at least. That’s why I couldn’t call earlier. You know, if you want me to take it back, I probably can. Just tell me-”
Wille plays with the cross around his neck with his fingers, pulling it back and forth, back and forth on his too red neck. Simon wishes he was there so he could put his hand over Wille’s, stop it in its movement and take it into his own. Tell him that everything is okay, that everything’s going to be fine.
“Wille,” he begins, and Wille stops talking, “How would you take it back?”
Something flashes behind Wille’s eyes, and he looks away from the camera. “I dunno. But if you want me to do that, I’ll fix it. You don’t have to worry,” he says, voice cold and emotionless.
“I’m so happy that you said...what you said, you don’t have to take back anything. I honestly can’t believe it. You’re so fucking brave,” Simon says, and Wille looks at the screen, eyes searching for something on the other side.
Then he drags an exhausted hand across his face, and makes an embarrassed face. “Shut up, I’m not. I didn’t even think I’d do it, you know. Mom certainly didn’t want me to, but then…”
“Then you did it anyway. Because you’re so fucking strong,” Simon says, and Wille laughs quietly.
“Stop it, you’re the strong one. You put up with…” he searches for a word, but then ends with a “...everything, and you still take care of me, even when I don’t deserve it,” Wille mumbles, and draws something with his finger on the duvet.
Simon sighs loudly, “Wille...take the compliment. You are brave, and you are strong. And I don’t ‘put up’ with anything, don’t say shit like that.”
They go quiet, Simon looks into the screen, and Wille looks away. In the end, Wille turns on his bedside lamp, and sits up in his bed.
“You want a room tour? See the crown prince’s exclusive room in the castle?” he teases, and wiggles his eyebrows at the camera.
Simon isn’t stupid, he notices an escape when he sees one, but today he’s fine anyway. Wille has already been brave. They’re still in this whole mess together, which is more than he had dared to hope in the beginning.
“Sure,” he responds, and rolls his eyes with a warm smile. Even if he wishes that Wille could take the compliment, he can’t just not smile when he’s with Wille.
“Right then, let’s start here,” Wille says, and puts his hand on his wallpaper, a golden and patterned mess. “This wallpaper is designed by...someone, and it’s supposed to look like the 1700’s, I think. But it’s, like, new. And here is my desk, and out there,” he points out of the big window behind the desk, almost hidden by the thick red curtain, “is the garden. The door over there is to the basement. I can show it to you when you come here sometime.”
“I’m going to the castle?” Simon asks, and he surprised himself with the confidence in his voice. He sounds like he’s just easing, just like he did all those other times.
“Of course you are,” Wille says, like it’s obvious, “You’re important.”
“You’re also important,” Simon says, and Wille’s pink cheeks almost shine through the screen. Wille clears his throat, then continues with his tour.
“Right, yeah, uhm, here’s my closet. It’s very good, very spacious…”
They talk for hours; about the castle, about rowing, about Ayub and Rosh, a little about Erik. The things they say won’t matter in a day, in a week, Simon knows that. But Wille’s soft voice and the butterflies he gets in his stomach everytime Wille looks dreamily at him through the screen, that feeling is everything.
“Can you talk to me until I fall asleep? It’s so...empty, here. Quiet,” Wille says, who’s now back under the covers, his shirt thrown onto the floor since long. Neither of them have wanted to hang up, even though it’s getting closer and closer to the tomorrow that they aren’t really ready for yet. There will be questions, meetings, situations that they can’t handle, and right now everything that isn’t here and now , feels like too much.
Wille yawns, and Simon can’t stop himself from taking a screenshot of the picture before him. Wille’s hair is messy, his eyes are a bit red, and he smiles happily into the camera. If it becomes Simon’s new phone background, at least until he has a picture of both of them, it’s no one’s business but his own.
“Of course. Uhm, I finished a mission in my video game today, which was fun,” Simon says, who still gets nervous when all of Wille’s attention is on him.
But his earlier solitude is ruined when Wille laughs loudly, fighting an incoming yawn.
“What’s your thing with video games? Is that, like, your turn-on? Should I remember that?” Wille teases, and wiggles his eyebrows again.
“Shut up…” Simon moans, and Wille just laughs louder at his embarrassed Simon.
They talk all through the night, and when they fall asleep they know that tomorrow will be fine. They do still have each other, after all.