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It wasn't as though Eric would have ever dreamed of going to ask Otis for advice, even if he hadn't retired, or resigned in disgrace, or whatever the hell that had all been about.
But, annoyingly, that didn't mean that he couldn't imagine exactly what Otis would say if he did.
Sometimes it was something like: "Open and honest communication is key to any successful relationship. You should tell Adam how you feel." To which he didn't want to admit that their relationship tended to work better the less verbal and more physical it was. Except that there was this one thing missing from the physical side of things.
Other times the imaginary Otis said: "People are often surprised to discover that a substantial proportion of gay men never engage in anal sex. Have you considered intercrural? That means--"
"I know what it means, Otis," Eric imagined replying. "I know everything you know because you're not the real Otis, just a figment of my imagination."
"Then you already know everything I might tell you."
"Yes, that's exactly what I just said."
"So everything I've already told you is something you already know. Like the communication thing."
At which point Eric would sigh to himself and the Otis in his head would tut disapprovingly as Eric shooed him away from his conscious mind.
Which didn't in the least bit solve the fundamental problem of Eric being desperate to be fucked. It wasn't that he hadn't been desperate to be fucked, in the abstract, for some considerable time, but now that he had a boyfriend and things were getting physical (or rather, that things had got physical and after several mishaps that had ended up with having a boyfriend) the absence of a particular type of physical activity had moved from nagging ache to urgent need.
Leaving lube out on the side when they met up didn't seem to have done any good, to the point where Eric was left wondering if Adam even realised what it was for. And every time he tried to shift position, Adam would bring things back around to a blowjob (not that they weren't pretty amazing) or handjob.
Eventually, he had to admit defeat and follow the Otis-in-his-head's advice. He was going to have to talk to Adam.
They were lying in bed, stroking each other, when he finally decided the opportunity had arisen.
"Your cock feels so good," he said, and it did; such soft skin wrapped around the rapidly hardening shaft. He leaned in, whispering in Adam's ear, "Bet it would feel even better in my arse."
With their heads so close together, Eric felt rather than saw Adam's double take. He pulled away a little himself, to make sure he could see his face. Their hands were still wrapped around each other's cocks, but both had stopped moving.
Adam looked like he was trying very hard not to burst into giggles.
"What?" Eric said. When Adam just seemed to be creasing up even more, he repeated, "Seriously, what?"
"I've been waiting for you to fuck me." Adam suddenly looked more serious. "Quite a while, actually."
Eric broke down into laughter of his own. "You wantme to fuckyou?"
Adam kissed him, hard. "I absolutely do."
Eric looked at him. "We could ... take it in turns?"
Adam did the face he did when he was thinking very hard about something. Eric had seen it before, even in the bad old days, on those rare occasions when he'd been put on the spot and unable to bluff his way out. Now it was almost endearing. "I guess that could work." A pause, and then, "But how do we decide who goes first? Flip a coin?"
"You know what," Eric said, "why not?"
* * *
Eric had ended up having to go to Otis for help in the end, though only the sort of help that involved getting him to take his mum to the cinema so that they could use his house. Once Mrs Milburn had cottoned on to the reasons, she'd been both very willing to get out of the way at the appointed time, but desperate to give advice before hand. Eric had tuned out as much of it as he could, though the phrase "employ plenty of perineal stimulation" was still ringing in his ears as he waved them off.
As soon as they were gone, though, he whipped out his phone and texted Adam to come over.
An anxious fifteen minutes later, during which Eric unpacked his rucksack full of supplies in the bedroom (the spare one, not Otis's, he had some standards, thank you very much), and triple checked everything was there, he was waiting at the door. As soon as Adam knocked, he opened it and pulled him in for a kiss.
Adam returned it enthusiastically and they were up the stairs before Eric knew it, still kissing all the way; it was a wonder they hadn't fallen off. That would have been embarrassing, if they'd ended up with both of them breaking their legs, unable to summon help until Otis and his mum returned home hours later.
Finally, they reached the bedroom. Adam took in what Eric had put out. "So, do we light the candle?"
There was a scented candle on the same nightstand that Eric had used. "Oh, no, that was already here," Eric said. "I mean, we can if you want?"
"No, I just thought ... Never mind." He beamed at him. "So where's the coin?"
Oh shit.
They had agreed not to find out in advance who would be fucking whom until the moment arrived. Eric really should have thought of a coin as being just as essential a piece of equipment as the condoms and the lube. Eric felt in his pockets; he didn't have any spare change. "Do you have one?" he said, trying to make it sound as though he thought Adam had agreed to bring it in advance.
"No," Adam said. "I use my card for everything these days."
"There must be one around here somewhere," Eric said. "Give me a minute."
He disappeared out into the hall and looked round in a mounting panic. Should he try the kitchen? No, Otis's room. He usually kept his wallet in the top drawer of his desk ... Eric went in quickly, heading straight for it -- only to discover that, of course, he had taken it with him. He screwed his eyes tight shut, thinking hard, then opened them and desperately looked heavenward in search of inspiration.
Which was when he saw that there was one coin in Otis's room after all. He swiped it and returned triumphantly to the other bedroom. "Here we go," he said.
"What the fuck is that?" Adam asked, not unreasonably.
"It's a coin," Eric said with the biggest smile he could manage.
"Can't spend that in a shop."
"Well, no," Eric admitted. "Otis was well into Pokémon cards when we were starting middle school and they had these collectible coins, and he's still got this one; I think it is actually quite valuable, he could probably sell it for a packet--"
"I don't want to decide this with fucking Pikachu."
"It's not Pikachu," Eric said with dignity. "It's Eevee. And besides, is it really any weirder than it being the queen?"
Adam stopped and did the thinking face again, the same as he had when they'd come up with this idea in the first place. He put his finger out, as though he was about to make a Very Good Point, then withdrew it again. "Oh, whatever."
Eric held the coin out, balanced on his thumb and forefinger. "Call."
"Wait," Adam said, "if I get it right does that mean I'm fucking you or you're fucking me?"
"It means you get to choose, I guess?" Eric said. "So since we're both in the wanting-to-get-fucked business, I guess that means I'm fucking you."
"OK, that makes sense," Adam said. "Just checking." He squinted at the coin. "Tails, because I don't want to imagine that thing staring at me. Which come to think of it I will be anyway, now, whatever happens."
Eric flipped, then caught the coin on his other palm. He froze, unable to bring himself to look.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Adam said, coming over and gently taking Eric's top hand in his.
Eevee's face was smiling up at them.
"Well, fuck me," Adam said.
"No," Eric said waspishly, "other way round."
"All right, all right, you ... get ready and I'll ... get ready."
Eric got undressed in a state of mounting excitement that must have been very obvious to Adam. He, meanwhile, was fiddling with the condom, his own nerves beginning to show. "Here, let me," Eric said, pinching the top before placing it at the tip of Adam's cock and beginning to unroll it.
"That would feel better if it was just your hand," Adam said.
"Yeah, but that's not the main event, is it?" Eric said. He squeezed out a little lube and smeared it back and forth over Adam's cock. Looking up, he saw Adam biting his lip.
"Do you think that's enough?" Adam said.
It was glistening and from that point of view looked like plenty, but Eric still felt a little nervous. "I'm honestly not sure but there's only one way to find out." He climbed up onto the bed on all fours.
"Wait," Adam said, "were you--"
Eric turned round. "Why, what's ... Do you want me to-- What do you want me to do?"
"Well, lie down I guess. So we can see each other."
"Oh, you big romantic," Eric said, but did as Adam asked. He wasn't quite sure how the angles were going to work but quickly got his answer to that when Adam picked up his ankles and pulled them up to his shoulders. "Oh wow," was all Eric could manage.
Adam grinned at him. "Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Surprisingly gently, Adam slid up to his arsehole, smearing lube around it with the tip of his cock in little figure of eight motions. Eric couldn't tell whether Adam was deliberately teasing him or was just nervous about actually fucking him, so he nodded minutely in encouragement. And then Adam was sliding inside him, and it felt even better than he had imagined it would. He felt full in the best possible way, and he knew that his own cock was getting harder and harder all the time.
"Love you," Eric said, barely aware the words had escaped his lips until he heard them, as though they'd come from miles away.
Adam didn't say anything, but smiled and increased the rhythm of his strokes, getting more and more into what he was doing. Suddenly, he reached down with his right hand, leaving Eric's left leg just lying on his shoulder -- but it was wide enough that that could work, as long as Eric didn't wriggle about too much -- and wrapped his fingers around Eric's cock.
"Oh fuck," Eric said. Adam began pumping back and forth, swift, urgent strokes. "Are you close?" Eric asked.
Adam nodded.
"Don't worry about me, just--" But Adam was obviously determined to make sure Eric came too, and stroked him harder and harder, in a steadily building rhythm that matched the one he was fucking him with. Then, for just a moment, everything stopped and even with the condom Eric could feel that Adam was coming hard. His breath was ragged, but as soon as he recovered he began stroking Eric again, staying inside him as he gradually softened, and all too soon Eric's orgasm followed, his come shooting up before landing back on his stomach. "Holy fuck," Eric said. "That was amazing."
Adam bent down to kiss him, the change in the angle making his cock slide out along the way. "It really was," he said. "I could get used to that." He stopped for a moment. "But my turn next time, yeah?"
"I won't be able to do that ankles-on-the-shoulders thing," Eric said. "just warning you in advance."
"Fair enough," Adam said. "Just as long as you fuck me, I don't care how."
"Deal."