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Kaeya doesn’t know when or how he got here, but he knows the scene before him all too well.
The rain is heavily pouring down on him from above, lightning flashing in the sky above as thunder follows in its path, the large droplets of rain soaking through his clothes and almost chilling him to the bone, but he couldn't care less about that right now.
Not while he watched his father die in Diluc's arms.
He feels like he's not in his own body; he's watching the scene unfold in silence, unable to say or do anything as Diluc begins to break down, and even though his body screams at him to comfort him, he doesn't move. He can't, not when his feet feel like they're rooted into the Earth beneath them.
Their father is dead, and Kaeya can do nothing but stand there in silence and watch as his brother grieves.
He knows where this is leading, the sense of deja vu so strong that it makes him feel sick, but he's helpless to stop it. He's tried before, but it's never worked.
Suddenly Diluc is standing before him with his clothes soaked in Crepus' blood and the rain, his sword drawn with the tip of the blade pointed right at Kaeya. "Draw your sword. Now ." His gaze is so intense as he stares at Kaeya, so full of anguish, betrayal and hate that Kaeya fears he'll be set aflame if Diluc were to stare at him for too long. Kaeya obeys and draws his own blade, the two jumping into battle.
Their swords clash and the clang and screech of steel against steel rings sharply in his ears, and the thunder roaring overhead is almost deafening.
"Why did you just stand there?!" Diluc cries, taking another strike at Kaeya, "You did nothing but stand there and watch as our father died!"
Kaeya tries to reply as he deflects the strike, but his voice is stuck in his throat and he can’t get the words out.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-
The words are on the tip of his tongue, and he wants to scream them at the top of his lungs, but they refuse to slip past his lips. They're trapped, and he knew that even if he could have said them, Diluc wouldn't have forgiven him.
It's getting too hot. It feels like there's fire lapping at Kaeya's skin as their fight continues, the heat threatening to swallow him whole. Maybe it's all in his head, or maybe it's the genuine flame that threatens to burst forth from Diluc's sword if he willed it so. Either way, it was almost unbearable.
Over Diluc's shoulder, he can see Crepus standing in the distance. He's staring at him with disapproval, skin deatly pale and stained with his own blood. Kaeya feels his own blood run cold at the sight, his eyes widening in slight fear and horror. He shouldn't be there, they'd already taken care of his body-
Diluc takes his moment of opportunity and plants his foot against Kaeya's chest and kicks him down, sending him falling backward. The contact almost burned, and Kaeya cries out as he crashes into the ground.
Before he can get back up, the tip of Diluc's blade is pointed at him, and when he looks up, he sees the both of them standing above him. He can't tell if there's tears running down his brother's face or if it's just the rain, or if it's both. Crepus stares down at him with the same look of disgust as before, and Kaeya feels hot tears sting his eyes.
"It’s your fault." They say in unison.
"He's dead because of you." Diluc's voice quivers in rage and grief, the words spat at him like venom.
Crepus only shakes his head at Kaeya, but he knows what he wants to say.
You failed. I died because of you. It's all your fault. Your fault, your fault your fault-
It's all he can hear. It consumes his thoughts, hearing both his brother and his father's voices echoing the same words over and over to the point it feels suffocating.
He can't breathe, he can't move, he can't do anything but take in a shuddering breath and accept that what's done is done.
Lightning flashes above them once more, and thunder roars a final time before he shuts his eyes and accepts that this is where he faces the consequences; both for his father's death and for his betrayal.
-
Kaeya wakes in a panic, his heart beating erratically in his chest, frame trembling as he struggles to catch his breath. His hands are gripping the sheets so tightly that his knuckles almost turned white, his eyes wide as his gaze flicks around the dark bedroom, looking for something that might be in the shadows.
He hunches over slightly as he buries his face into his hands, sighing out shakily. “That dream again..” He mutters to himself, a quiet, bitter chuckle following his words.
He doesn’t register the movement beside him until he feels a gentle hand on his arm, the touch startling him slightly as his head whips around to find Albedo looking up at him, eyes still heavy with sleep yet filled with concern.
Shit , Kaeya thought to himself, I woke him up.
“Kaeya..? What’s the matter?” He murmured, slowly pushing himself to sit beside him. “You’re shaking..” His lips are downturned in a frown as he takes in the sight.
“I’m- I’m fine, Liebling,” Kaeya tries to say as he turns his face away from Albedo, but the shake in his voice gives him away. He swallows thickly and tries again. "Just go back to sleep, I'll be alright." He says, though it sounded more like he was trying to assure himself more than Albedo.
He can hear Albedo sigh softly, but the other doesn’t push for another response. It's obvious that Kaeya isn't as fine as he claims to be, but he won't make him say it out loud.
Albedo reaches out to gently turn his head toward him, his rough hand placed against the smooth skin of Kaeya's cheek. Their gazes meet for just a moment before Kaeya looks away, the sight of such concern in his boyfriend’s eyes making tears spring to his own.
"Kaeya, dove, it's okay. You don’t have to hold it in, you're allowed to cry," Albedo says gently, and Kaeya can’t stop the tears that began to spill over even if he tried. "I'm right here."
He can't remember the last time he'd cried in front of someone. Moments like this happened when he was alone, with nobody around to see someone as put together as himself begin to crumble. Nights like that were few and far in between, but this is the first time Albedo is seeing him so.. Vulnerable. He feels exposed, feels the need to hide as the tears slide down his cheeks, but Albedo is right there with open arms, wanting to comfort him.
The alchemist pulled him in close and wrapped his arms around him, holding him together as he broke down. He still sees flashes of the nightmare as he squeezes his eyes shut, the tears only coming quicker, but the feeling of Albedo's fingers combing through his hair helps to soothe him a little.
"I've got you," Albedo murmurs, turning his head to press a kiss against Kaeya's temple, "Don’t hold back."
And he doesn’t. He cries into Albedo's neck as his arms wrapped around his boyfriend, seeking his touch and the comfort he's providing. It feels strange being held like this, but Albedo doesn't loosen his hold, doesn't try to pull away or tell him to stop and suck it up. He lets him cry, allowing him to release the pent up emotions he holds onto for so long.
Eventually his tears slow to a stop, and Kaeya slowly pulls away from Albedo, but he reaches for one of his hands to hold, wanting the contact. "Sorry about that," He mumbles, chuckling weakly. "That doesn't usually happen. Sorry if it startled you."
Albedo shakes his head, reaching out to gently wipe away the stray tears and their tracks off of Kaeya's cheeks. "Don’t apologize for something like that. Everyone needs to cry sometimes, it's normal." He says, gently squeezing his hand.
"Still.." Kaeya leans into his hand with a sigh, letting his eyes fall closed for a moment. He feels awkward, vulnerable and spilled raw in front of Albedo.
He knows what question is on Albedo's mind, the unspoken question of 'what happened' hanging in the air. He knows that he's curious, more so out of concern, but he doesn’t think he can explain it without risking more tears.
"Bad dream?" Albedo asks instead, not wanting to push for details and possibly shatter Kaeya's fragile stability.
Kaeya simply nods, and Albedo understands. Kaeya's comforted his boyfriend though many nights after his own night terrors, making sure that he's taken care of and knows that he isn't alone. He supposed that tonight was the night those roles would be reversed.
"I won't make you talk about it if you'd rather not, I know it can be.. unpleasant retelling the events," Albedo makes a slight face then, likely thinking back to his own nightmares for a moment before his expression softens, "But just know that I'm here. You're not alone, dove. You don’t have to be so strong all the time."
"Careful, or you might make me cry again," Kaeya laughed weakly, rubbing his eyes as he sniffles.
Albedo hummed faintly, brushing aside some of Kaeya's hair before he leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I'm right here to wipe your tears away if you do."
"Thank you, Liebling. Really, what would I do without you?" Kaeya smiles at him softly, and his heart flutters when Albedo does the same.
The blond just shrugs, chuckling quietly. "I don't know, but you don't have to worry about that. I'll always be here." He promises, pulling Kaeya into another hug.
Kaeya leans into him gratefully, sighing out softly as he finally begins to relax, the memories of the nightmare beginning to fade away into nothing.
"Everything is gonna be okay, my prince. Whatever happened in that dream.. It wasn't your fault." Albedo says as he squeezes him, and Kaeya nearly cries again from those words alone. "Sometimes it may feel like it was, but it wasn't. Don't blame yourself for it, okay?"
He nods as he holds him a little tighter, willing himself not to cry again as he lets his eyes fall closed, pressing his face into Albedo's neck. "Okay. Thank you.." He mumbles, feeling Albedo press a kiss to his head.
"Of course. You don’t need to thank me for the truth, though." Albedo hummed, slowly pulling Kaeya along with him as they laid back down on the bed.
"Oh hush and let me thank you," Kaeya replies with a soft huff, though that doesn't stop him from smiling a little as he shifts around to get comfortable and settle.
Albedo laughs softly, running his fingers through Kaeya's hair once more when he finally settles. "Okay okay, you can." He says, his own smile on his face.
They settle like that and talk for a while longer before they begin to drift off to sleep once more, Kaeya's worries and fears now laid to rest by Albedo's reassurances. He may not fully be ready to discuss his past or the dreams that haunt him some nights, but when he does feel ready to, he knows that Albedo would listen to him and comfort him through it all.
Sometimes it's okay to need someone to lean on, and he's glad that he has Albedo by his side.