Chapter Text
A young woman stands in her bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April 20xx….
—is another normal day, simple and plain, as always.
What will the name of this young woman be?
> Enter Name: Wicked Wench.
No, no! That’s not it, try one more time.
> Enter Name: [Name] [Lastname]
Oh, that’s it! Fantabulous job!
Your name is [NAME].
You are a 13 year-old girl who is considered NUTS, to put it in simpler terms. Outside of the INTERNET, others would think that you are very SHY, but you are actually very SPONTANEOUS and KIND.
You refer to yourself as CLAIRVOYANT as you have a talent for seeing the future. Your FRIENDS don’t seem to BELIEVE you though, calling your visions as mere COINCIDENCE. They like to POKE FUN at you from time to time about your AFFINITY.
Your CHUMHUNDLE is lethargicKinesis and you have pretty good grammar although you tend to forget punctuation at times
sometimes u use abbrvs! but when unsure, you use ,,,,,in place of regular ellipses,,,,you also use emoticons :)
You aren’t very ORGANIZED. You try your hardest to keep your room TIDY. There are trophies from ELEMENTARY school lying around, pencils (which were a stepping HAZARD), and plenty of clothes SCATTERED across the room.
Your Sis would KILL you if she found out how messy it was. LUCKY for you, your door was always LOCKED.
More importantly, TODAY was the release of a game called SBURB. You and some of your FRIENDS highly anticipated playing. THE GAME was supposed to arrive in LESS THAN TEN MINUTES.
What will you do?
> [Name]: start rolling around and giggling.
Holy cow! It was really coming. SBURB was right in your grasp, nearly touching your fingertips. No, not even. It was in the palm of your hand! The anticipation was killing you!
> [Name]: get stabbed by a pencil.
Ow. You were impaled by a lone pencil. You then proceed to roll in PAIN, instead of excitement.
> [Name]: take out that shitty pencil.
You snatched the pencil out of your side.
You were also able to look under your bed in the meanwhile.
Most of it were just things you stuffed under your bed on a whim. Things like PENCILS, other things like an UMBRELLA, and even your CELLPHONE.
Wait, cellphone?!
> [Name]: GET THE PHONE!
Jeez. You’ve been looking for this thing for about a WEEK now. You only stuck to your computer, so it was a relief to see your handheld safe.
> [Name]: just clean up the rest later.
Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. You put it aside for now. You always had a problem with PROCRASTINATION. Your SIS would chew you out for it, but you couldn’t do much about it. Whatever happens, happens.
You heard a chirp from your laptop on your desk. Pushing yourself up, you went to go sit in your rolly chair.
Ah yes, the rolly chair.
> [Name]: roll around at the speed of sound.
You rolled around in your chair, spinning and shifting around the room. It eventually became too boring for you, so you slid over to your desk laptop to open PESTERCHUM.
> [Name]: open the message!
–– gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling lethargicKinesis [LK] at 13:21 ––
GC: H3Y LOS3R
LK: NOOOO
Not again! You didn’t have the PATIENCE today. This was at least the 5TH TIME this week that these so called ‘trolls’ have tried contacting you.
….Whatever. They’ll just have to sit there and not get a response. You won’t INDULGE in that mess.
> [Name]: stare at the screen in annoyance
……..
All of a sudden, your friend, JOHN began to PESTER you.
> [Name]: pester him back!
–– ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering lethargicKinesis [LK] at 13:23 ––
EB: hey [name].
LK: omg! literally was just thinking of you
EB: really? what for?
EB: must be your clairvoyance again.
LK: okay no see i admit this time it’s not clairvoyance
LK: IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY !!!!!!
LK: HAPPY BIRTHDAY
LK: id literally spend all my allowance and send you a cake but you don’t like them and that’s okay
LK: cause im sure i already blew my pizza money for your gift
EB: haven’t gotten it yet.
EB: think it’ll come in today?
LK: i’m not even sure, i will update you later,,oh, did you get sburb yet?
EB: i think i did but....
EB: i’m too scared to go check because my dad beat me to the mailbox.
LK: aww im sorry. :( not to brag but i think i just got mines!
LK: be a man! go check! chat me up when you find it, okay?
LK: my clairvoyance says that you will begin playing in t-minus 10 seconds!
EB: heh, i’m sure you're right!
EB: i'll be back.
–– ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering lethargicKinesis [LK] at 13:26 ––
> [Name]: go downstairs.
You heard the door open, so you rushed down the stairs and immediately YOUTH ROLLED behind the couch.
Oh boy.
Your sis seemed to not notice you yet, (or she did, but didn’t question it. You were an odd 13 year old after all).
Peeking over your couch, you wanted to figure out what CONTENTS she had in her hand. You took out your phone behind the couch, and messaged the person that would UNDERSTAND you the most….
–– lethargicKinesis [LK] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:30 ––
LK: DAVE
TG: yo
He responded fast, classic. It’s nice that he’s a FAST typer because you got pretty lonely now and then. Sometimes it was annoying though.
LK: listen. i am going to die soon.
TG: really now
LK: yes. i dunno what kind of package my sister has and im SCARED
LK: SHE MIGHT STRIFE ME I REALLLLYY DONT WANNA FIGHT RIGHT NOW
LK: all i want is to play sburb is that too much to ask???
TG: oh youre talking about that thing you and john geeked out about
TG: you really did get that shitty game
LK: it is not a shitty game!
LK: sburb is realllly fun
TG: you havent even played it yet [name]
LK: fair! but i think it’ll be fun!
LK: i think she has it in her clutches
LK: ho god
LK: WAIT my cat curled up beside me so i feel so safe!
TG: you and your cat
TG: you talk about her as if she were a human youd bang
TG: [name] thats a weird fetish you have there
LK: i am going. to block you
LK: but i have a compromise
LK: apologize and we can play sburb together
TG: no
LK: say less
lethargicKinesis [LK] has blocked turntechGodhead [TG]
Ah, yes. The sweet SATISFACTION of blocking your good friend DAVE. For the 54th time, and yes, you’ve been keeping count, you’ve BLOCKED him. His PUNISHMENT will end in about an hour or two.
> [Name]: feel an intense gaze.
What? Why do you feel like you’re being stared down right now—wait nevermind oh that’s just lucy.
Your beloved cat, Lucy, curled up in your lap, waiting for her pets.
You indeed pet her. Good kitty. Fuck what Dave says, he’s a wannabe. He’s jealous!
…Oops, you’re still behind the couch. You may as well get up.
> [Name]: confront your sis.
You pick up Lucy, who laid in your arms, and pet her ‘menacingly’. You thought you looked like the guys in the movies that are like “I’ve been expecting you” but with no chair.
Get that damn game, [Name].
> [Name]: surprise her!
Boo! You yell, jumping out with your beloved feline in your arms.
Your sister was not amused, as she grabbed the nearest thing next to her, a lamp shade.
Oh boy. You already knew what time it was. As did Lucy, who dived out of your arms.
This shit was gonna HURT more than last time, that’s for sure.
You opened your sylladex, discarding your umbrella. Fuckin’ sylladex… how does this shit even work????
No time!
====> [S]MEELEE!
>Yikes…what an inconvenient time skip….about 30 minutes later….
Your body hurt all around. There were bruises and markings everywhere on your body and the living room was a mess. Oh, yes. ‘Sissy’ certainly kicked your ass, but she definitely had you in the first half. Your playful SPAR had gotten out of hand
On the bright side, you became VICTORIOUS. Finally. It’s been a long time coming, but you finally fucking did it. You beat her.
Your also battered up sister waved a goodbye and after you waved back, you began booking it up the stairs with your copy of SBURB.
You’ll help her clean up the living room later.
> [Name]: collapse on your bed.
Ugh. You were at the brink of death, but didn’t let go of your game. Halfhazardly, you texted your good friend, Rose.
–– lethargicKinesis [LK] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:47 ––
LK: rose bestie :(
TT: Ah, if it isn’t [Name].
TT: I’m surprised you haven’t died yet by your sibling’s hands.
LK: DAVE TOLD YOU????????
TT: Yes.
LK: tell THAT ASSHOLE I LIVED
[lethargicKinesis changed their mood to RANCOROUS]
LK: that’s why i blocked him!
TT: He asked me to ask if you could unblock him, actually.
LK: LMFAO NO. he’s on time out!
LK: his sentence is two hours
LK: i cannot believe this man has thought me good as dead
TT: I am glad you are okay. What happened?
LK: strifed with sis, need a ice bath, all i feel is pain…
TT: Is that so? If that is the case, I will talk to you later.
TT: You will have to heal up before playing Sburb.
LK: ohh snap. john told you?
TT: Indeed. Please rest.
LK: nah im ok!
LK: let’s get this show on the road, okay? i’ll open the game up right now
And with those words, YOU HAVE SEALED YOUR FATE. NO LONGER WILL THIS GO AS PLANNED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. YOU HAVE DISOBEYED FOR THE LAST TIME.