Work Text:
Kaoru was working updates on Carla in his study. He had been looking at the clock on his phone anxiously and when it hit 10 p.m. he texted Kojiro a nice: ’You're late’ just on time. Kaoru set his phone down and continued his work a little less anxious this time. His restlesness came back when Kojiro didn’t answer in five minutes and at some point the working changed to staring at his phone and staring at his and Kojiro’s messages waiting for a reply.
When Kojiro didn’t answer in half an hour Kaoru moved to the couch and wrapped himself in his anxiety blanked. He sat normally, still staring his phone, waiting. At some point the phone was lost and he started to hug his legs and stare at the clock on the wall. Kaoru started to swing back and forth. The clock ticking and reminding him of every passing second didn’t help. Then he started to move places on the couch. Sitting in the armrest, backrest, lying on his back etc. the blanket following him everywhere.
When the clock struck midnight he ended up on the floor. First he shook under the blanket, but when Kojiro didn’t come home and it was getting late Kaoru stopped shaking and froze in shock. He just plankly stared at the carpet in the cage of his own terrible thoughts.
When Kojiro did come home it was almost 1 a.m. ”Sorry Kaoru, my phone battery died-” Kojiro saw Kaoru who was on the floor, unmoving. Kojiro knew very well all Kaoru’s stages of anxiety. First he went on the couch wrapping himslef in the blanket, then he hugged his legs and then he started to swing. That turned up to wondering around the couch and in the end he would end up on the floor and start shaking. But the worst was when he blacked out staring empthy at the floor before him trapped in his horrible thoughts of what could’ve happened.
Kojiro trew his backs aside and took his shoes off in a hurry. He glanced at the clock and mentally cursed. He went to Kaoru and sat on the sofa next to him placing a hand on his shoulder. ”Kaoru, I’m here, don’t worry.” Kaoru didn’t react. ”I’m going to pick you up now, becuase I can’t fit there.” Kaoru was in between the couch and coffee table, hugging his legs beneath the blanket. Kojiro couldn’t fit in the small space Kaoru could. If he could fit between the two furniture he would’ve hugged Kaoru immediately. Kojiro picked Kaoru up from the floor and placed this in his lap, stroking Kaoru’s back.
Kaoru came partly back to his senses at the sudden movement and turned to look at Kojiro. It broke Kojiro’s heart to see all the panic in Kaoru’s eyes, knowing he caused it. Kaoru stared at him eyes wide and red. ”Idiot”, he said, but his voice was a mere whisper. Kaoru smacked Kojiro’s chest and it was so weak and compared to his normal strenght it was a mere baby punch. ”I’m sorry, my phone died and I had no idea I would take this long.”
Kaoru kept hitting his chest as weakly as before and Kojiro hugged him. There was tears in Kaoru’s eyes. They had a reason why it was set that they (or Kojiro) needed be home at ten at last. It was from when Kojiro had stayed the night with a woman for the first time, and when he got home at the morning he found Kaoru who hadn’t slept at all. He was really an idiot, he should’ve come home when his phone died.
”It’s okay. I’m okay”, Kojiro hushed and drew shoothing circles in Kaoru’s back. ”Three hours.” Kaoru’s voice was tiny. ”I’m sorry.” ”Three hours.” ”I know. I’m sorry.” Kaoru cried againts his shoulder and Kojiro wasn’t sure was it two minutes or hours that passed. Kaoru kept hitting his chest and Kojiro took hold of his hand kissing his knuckles. He was happy holding Kaoru and he would stay there as long as he needed to.
Kaoru started to gasp hard and Kojiro pushed him away from his chest so he could look at Kaoru’s eyes. ”Breath with me. In...” Kojiro took a deep breath and Kaoru followed. ”And out...” They blew the air out together. Kojiro helped Kaoru breath for a while. ”Are you feeling better?” Kaoru nodded. ”Good. Okay, now name three things you can see.” ”I-” Kaoru’s voice was very hoarse. ”I can see you, the plant, and the door of my room.” ”Good”, Kojiro tucked some hair that had fallen out of Kaoru’s messy bun behind his ear. ”Three thinks you can hear.” ”I can hear the damned clock, the refrigerator, and...” Kaoru pressed his head againts Kojiro’s chest. ”Your heartbeat.” ”Mn. Are you all alright now or want me to go on?” ”I’m fine”, Kaoru said, but tears started flowing down from his eyes.
”Are you hungry?” Kojiro asked when the sobs quieted down. ”No”, Kaoru’s voice was hoarse from crying. ”Tired?” Kaoru didn’t do anything for a while and then he nodded againts Kojiro’s neck.
Kojiro smiled: ”Okay, let’s sleep then.” Kaoru got up first after he was ready to, but he still had a death grip in Kojiro’s shirt. Kojiro went to his bedroom and Kaoru followed after him never loosing his hold. ”I need to change”, Kojiro said and Kaoru slowly let go of him and sat down on Kojiro’s bed, staring Kojiro like a hawk. He changed knowing it was no use telling Kaoru to give him some privacy. Kojiro knew he should wear a shirt, because Kaoru needed something to grab and gripping his shirt sure was better than waking up with nail prints that hurt like hell, all around his neck and everywhere else Kaoru tried to get hold on.
Kaoru had taken off his glasses and opened his messy bun. He was in his comfy baggy clothes he used while home and was comfrotable sleeping in them. Kojiro laid down on the bed and Kaoru stared at him still sitting. Kojiro lifted the blanket and Kaoru snuggled next to him grabbing his shirt in a death grip again. Kojiro empraced him. This was familliar to him, to them both. When Kaoru was anxious and couldn’t sleep he would come to sleep with Kojiro and Kojiro would cladly comfromt him. Always.