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Hood snickers beside him while Robin lets out a snort.
Their amusement does not spread, however, considering the other two in this confrontation are frozen and staring at each other in growing horror as Red Robin and Harley both consider the implications of what this means.
Accidently calling a villain ‘Mom’ would usually just be a small thing to laugh at, but not when she recognizes the voice calling her that due to a previously very bad interaction between the two .
Like the time Joker and Harley Quinn kidnapped 12 year old Timothy Drake and electrotherapied him into thinking he was Joker Junior and that they were his parents before he inevitably ended up shooting the Joker point blank in the head, instantly killing him.
“Fuck. Shit! Oh my god,” Harley pulls her pigtails loose and drops the uppity attitude, confusing the fuck out of Hood and Robin putting them on guard, while Tim just groans into his hands.
“Fuck indeed. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.” Pulling his hair a little, he decides it’s time to compartmentalize. When he looks up he’s calm and blank faced while the other two boys and kind of freaking out at the normally calm and serene vigilante freaking the fuck out for a few moments.
Harley looks up at him and just starts hysterically crying, “Oh my god I’m so sorry! I went to therapy I swear! I’m so sorry, and you know I’ve been with Lucy the past few years and I tried to find you but I didn’t want to make it worse and I’m so sorry and oh my god I can’t believe I did that I’m so sorry I’m so-”
He walks up to her and says softly, “Harley I never blamed you, it’s fine, we’re okay. I’m getting better all the time and I know you’ve been trying to get better, too, it’s okay, you were the victim, too, it’s okay.”
Harley looks up to check his sincerity and then wipes her face free of tears. Smeared make-up be damned. “Okay. Okay,” She gives a tight smile before pepping herself up and determinedly responding, “Scarecrow is down by Dock 2 while the Riddler said he was going to be by 4th and Rowan. Promise on Lucy and Ivy and everything good in the world I won’t share a word,” she crossed her heart at Red Robin.
He gives her a tight smile back, “Thanks Harls. I’ll have to tell B you know but I’m sure it’ll be fine since it’s you.”
Harley huffs a laugh before whispering so the other boys couldn’t hear, “If not, then tell him he owes me for that Economics 102 class he almost failed and I’m cashing in his debt for switching our tests so he’d pass the class.”
Tim snorts before laughing and whispering back, “Really? After he preached about how cheating and hacking into the school system was terrible and wrong?”
Harley guffaws, “Oh please that man didn’t pass a single class without cheating at least three times. When he dropped out no one who actually knew him was actually surprised,” causing Red Robin to giggle a little into his hand.
Red looked back for a second before smiling to Harley, “Try to stay out of trouble.”
She gives him a smile back, “Stay safe.”
And if on their way to the docks, Hood and Robin kept trying to interrogate him about what the fuck that was about, and Red Robin just gave them a tight smile in response before redirecting their conversation? Then that’s his business and none of theirs.
It would probably go away in a few weeks anyway.
____________________________________________________
A few months later, Nightwing arrives to a fight with Batman and Robin against Ivy and Harley who are aggressively campaigning- i.e. setting on fire -a very eco-unfriendly up-and-coming business.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
What was out of the ordinary was Harley pausing with her finger on a red button and asking out of the blue, “Hey, can Red Robin hear me right now through your coms or whatever?”
Warily, Nightwing responds, “Yes?”
Harley hums and frowns for a second, “Can you ask him if I’m allowed to laugh?”
Nightwing and Robin give each other a ‘what the fuck’ kind of look while Batman just grunts once, and clicks his com.
“Batman to Red Robin.”
“Red Robin here.”
“Harley Quinn would like to know if she can laugh.”
“Hm. Tell her laughing is fine unless it’s a bad day. Just no singing for now. Also tell her thanks for asking!”
“He said it’s fine. Thanks. And no singing.”
Harley nods resolutely like any of this makes any fucking sense while he sends a very reciprocated wary glance at Damian, gaining little comfort that he’s not the only one who knows shit all about the current situation.
Like the pause didn’t happen, Harley starts cackling and goes back to fighting Batman over the red button.
Post-battle questions got nothing more than noncommittal hums and small smiles.
____________________________________________________
“That’s exactly what happened to me when I asked, Dickwing! I knew I wasn’t the only one who thought this shit was weird as fuck!”
“Tt. It’s Drake. I’m sure it’s nothing important like everything else that involves him.”
Ignoring the squawk of his oldest younger brother throwing his youngest younger brother across the room, Dick stares at the ceiling and wonders when the fuck his middlest little brother got into cahoots with a Rogue .
____________________________________________________
“Why are we here, Dickhead. I’ve got shit to do, and that means not being here,” Jason obnoxiously puts his legs on the table while crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. He side-eyes Replacement texting someone on his phone with a small smile on his face while he, too, practically ignores Nightwing who has this supposedly big case he can’t handle alone while B is off-planet.
“B is off-planet and Dami’s at the Kents for the week. Excuse me for needing help.”
Timbit mumbles just loud enough, “Maybe mental help,” causing Jason to snort and Dick to sigh.
Pretending that he's in front of two people who aren’t his annoying younger brothers, he starts a basic summary report on the situation, which honestly does pique Jason’s interest since it involves kids.
“Wait, are you talking about the one with Jeremy from the 60s Speedee Market and Gisela Panther?” Tim distractedly asks while still texting.
Looking at him in interest that Tim is aware of the situation, Dick confirms.
“Hm. Yeah Harls already brought that to my attention,” obliviously not seeing the widened eyes of Dick or Jason at the very familiar names and sudden thoughts as to who exactly Tim’s been texting this whole time .
“You were close, because yeah it’s Black Mask but he’s also working with Mr. Freeze. They’re using the kids as half experiments and half slave labor. Mr. Freeze seems to believe he’s got an antidote for his wife, but like the past twenty whatever times it didn’t work and it was a whole thing. But anyways we already saved the kids, burned down the building, and got Freeze in custody a few hours ago. Mask got away but Harls said Ivy knows where he's hiding so we were about to go grab him while he was sleeping before you interrupted us.”
He finally looks up at us blinking owlishly at him before saying blankly, “Oh yeah. Harley wanted me to tell you she said hi,” before snorting and going back to his phone.
“Hey, Red?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you texting Harley right now?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Pretender why the FUCK do you have a Rogue’s number?! Does Daddybats know?” He laughs a little hysterically at the idea of the favorite being friends with a Rogue.
Tim sleepily looks up and blearily blinks at Jason before responding, “Uh, yeah? I assume so? She wanted lunch to say sorry and it’s become a thing. B’s come a few times? I mean they were best friends in college. You know before he dropped out and what not like a whore.”
They blink at him. He blinks back.
“...you’re fucking with us right?”
“...No?”
____________________________________________________
“There’s so much to unpack how the fuck did he just walk out after that! Bruce dropped out of college? He was best friends with Harley!? He and they all just fucking go to lunch every week to gossip or something!? What the FUCK?!” Dick paces back and forth across the room throwing his hands around like he’s in a Drama tv show about to reveal that his wife was actually his boss’s husband in drag this whole time and that he thought he was dead and that he never would have married his wife if he still knew his boss’s husband was still alive but they were the same person anyway! Where was he going with this?
“...wait does Harley know our identities?” Jason hesitantly asks.
Dick snaps his head to look at him with horror in his eyes, “What the FUCK.”
____________________________________________________
Damian pushes himself up from where he was thrown to the ground about to scorn before looking up and seeing that Drake had taken a syringe of Fear toxin that was about to hit him in his blind spot.
Mumbling out expletives as he beats the henchman to the ground, he warily watches Red Robin as he crawls into a tight ball and starts mumbling to himself.
“Robin to Batman. Red Robin’s taken a dose of Fear Toxin to the neck. Heading to the cave now. Robin out.”
However, instead of the grunt of confirmation, he was expecting he got a quick, “
No. Oracle cut off Red Robin's comms and put Robin and I in a separate channel
.”
Different. Not usual protocol. Damian stops next to Red Robin’s ball of sadness and awaits further directions.
“
Robin. Keep Red Robin away from Hood at all costs. Oracle will guide you away from him if you are about to cross paths. Head to 17th and Gemstone Avenue. The Apartment complex across from the Park. Eastside 3rd window down on the left.
”
Wildly confused on why he was taking Drake to this random place, but now willing to argue about something while in the middle of an Arkham breakout, Damian sends his confirmation of his mission and gathers Drake to start grappling over to their destination.
His confusion only grows when it seems that Drake’s reaction to fear was to start… giggling uncontrollably... and getting louder every passing minute?
Vaguely unnerved but not willing to show it, he guides himself and Red Robin through the window only to see Harley Quinn with a gun to his head. His eyes widen a second before she sees Red Robin and immediately drops the gun and starts towards them to help him in. Thinking it’s an attack, Robin immediately goes into a stance before being interrupted by the comms,
“ Robin. When you’re there, tell Harley that he’s been dosed with Fear Toxin and that I’m across Gotham. ”
Damian hesitantly responds that he’s there before letting Harley take Drake and stiltedly passing on the message to her. Harley with her hair down, unpainted skin, and baggy clothes nods firmly before sitting down on the couch and pulling Drake to sit on her lap sideways. She pulls a blanket around him and starts running her hands through his hair while saying a mantra,
“You are not Junior. Your name is Tim. You are safe,” while rocking back and forth.
Drake’s- at this point -ear-splitting laughs slowly start to calm back down to giggles again before turning into sobs while he starts holding Harley Quinn back so tightly Damian is surprised she isn’t flinching away.
It’s like she’s done it before.
Sitting there for hours while the others wrap up the mass breakout, Damian almost attacks Batman when he finally arrives. Damian watches as he takes Drake from Harley’s arms before giving her a quick side hug and then nodding to Robin to have him follow.
After hours of his list of questions growing, Damian finally snaps when they get back to the cave.
“Why did he laugh like that? Why was he taken to the Rogue? Why does she know Drake’s name?”
His father huffs tiredly while running his hand through Drake’s hair.
“It’s not my story to tell. Don’t go looking for the answers and that includes asking him about it.”
“But fath-”
“No. I don’t share your nightmares. I’m not going to tell you his.”
Damian grimaces at the comparison but accepts his father’s firm grip on his shoulder guiding him to the showers.
But what kind of nightmares makes you laugh like that?
____________________________________________________
“Damian! Any update to Tim and Harley’s weird relationship?” Grayson asks from his upside-down, vaguely birdlike, contortion on the chandelier.
Barely looking up, Damian keeps walking and says nonchalantly, “Not allowed to say, and not allowed to ask. But they definitely aren’t lovers.”
“Damn,” Todd mutters, crossing a few options off the list.
____________________________________________________
Half asleep, Tim snuggles into Bruce’s chest like a cat before making a sound that sounds not unlike a kitten purring. The hands in his hair are soothing and make him want to succumb to sleep at last, but Dick said that the next time he fell asleep during Family Game Night he would owe him a hug for every minute he was asleep and Tim was not going to accept that under any circumstances.
The game of Truth or Dare had already gone off the rails and it seemed more like a competition and he thinks the winner’s been drinking shots of pickle juice?
He yawns, and ignores the stiffening of his pillow.
“-I’m telling you mine was super cool-”
“It wasn't! Alfie said they thought you were one of the dealer’s kids and were cooing at you!”
“And?”
Jason throws his hands up dramatically before turning to Tim and asking, “What was your first brush with a Rogue? Bet it was better than Dickwing’s!?
Tim blinks blearily and- ignoring that Bruce is stiffer than a rock between him exuding uncomfortability -answers sleepily, “When I was 12! Some thugs found out I was stalking B and also you before you died and kidnapped me and gave me to Joker and Harley as a present.” Oblivious to the others' growing dread, he continues.
“They kept me for quite a few months electrocuting my brain and brainwashing me into thinking they were my Daddy and Mommy and that I was Joker Junior or JJ and then when B finally came to save me Joker gave me a gun to use to kill Bruce but Bruce was Batman so of course I didn’t want to shoot him so I shot the Joker dead instead,” he giggled a little under his breath while he purred under Bruce continuing his head pats.
The other's wide eyes and horrified faces went unseen.
“I was pretty bad for a while, but my parents didn’t even notice. They were out of the country the whole summer I was gone so not much came of it. Harley felt real bad about it when she got better a few years ago and since she recognized me when I accidentally called her mom forever ago she’s been trying to make it up to me and make amends. I guess I saved us both,” he smiles softly before closing his eyes and going back to his half-asleep state against B’s neck while everyone just stares at him with wide eyes and blinks.