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Something was weird with his partner lately.
No, not Tikki!
She’s just about the same as normal, probably. They didn’t really see each other in a form they could communicate with. Mostly they hung out as costumes. She wasn’t dead! Always a plus, considering the whole balance between Creation and Destruction and he’s…well, it’s easier to just say that all his cheese would go bad without him around to appreciate it!
That’d be a tragedy, and Plagg definitely knows what a tragedy is. He’s pretty old and he could still remember all those delicious, delectable, smelly, stinky cheeses that couldn’t be made anymore! So yeah, Plagg knew what a tragedy was.
What was he talking about? Oh, yeah-
Adrien, his other partner, was being weird. He was being mopey and sad, and that didn’t even get into the way he was acting when he was Chat Noir! Now, he wasn’t an expert in Chat Noir-related matters, he’d never even met him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of his feelings.
Normally wasn’t Chat Noir supposed to be happy? Charming? The news described him as a flirt, but he knew that was just Adrien having fun. For most people, he wasn’t really flirting.
It was like Adrien was trying to copy him except instead of being awesome and cool, he ended up watering it down with his human feelings and weird body. That was okay though since Plagg was technically the other part of Char Noir. They would pull through the awkwardness together.
Now though, even Char Noir was broody. He put on a good show when Ladybug was around, but that’s all it was. A show as real as Cheese Whiz. Some people bought it, including Ladybug, but other people didn’t. Rena sure didn’t, but that might’ve been the Trixx coming out in her personality. Whatever it was, she seemed to see something off about Chat.
Chat didn’t like that. He didn’t enjoy being stared at like he wasn’t meant to be there. He didn’t like to be excluded from plans. That part was all Adrien. Even if Plagg didn’t appreciate it, he was more than used to it. So long as he could eat some nice cheese, he’d recover.
He was concerned for Adrien though.
What could he say? He had a soft spot for the people who fed him and currently that was Adrien. Plus, he let Plagg do whatever he wanted- like taking naps in his shirts or in his bags or even letting him eat snacks in his hair. Well, let was a strong word for the last one but it wasn’t like he swatted at him or anything.
He probably would’ve done it anyway, but Adrien just complained a little ! Plus the flavor of the snacks way up there was way better! The open-air and altitude really made the cheese’s flavors pop. Sure, he could fly higher if he wanted but then he wouldn’t hear Adrien complain about crumbs!
Way better.
What was he talking about? Oh yeah, Adrien’s sad face.
It was annoying… Plagg much preferred when Adrien was happy. All the sighing was annoying. The kid kept staring out the window until Plagg pushed him into bed. Then he’d lay in bed until Plagg pushed him out to school! He wouldn’t cry, but he would smile either! They were just stuck in some weird grey area of feelings all the time.
The closest he got to happy was when Plagg offered him some of his delicious cheese, but even then it was half-hearted! Obviously , he didn’t realize the worth of a good bite of Camembert. It made him feel much better when he was sad! Not that he got sad much, but still!
Frankly, Plagg wasn’t used to taking care of his wielders like this. He was a cat! Wasn’t he supposed to be getting pampered? It was supposed to be the other way around! Yet, here he was thinking about Adrien’s problems instead of enjoying his cheese.
The things he did for the people he cared about… geez.
Anyway, he was aware of how things were supposed to work. He was around long before the Order was founded around guarding Kwami and he’d be around after the rest of the Kwami’s disappeared. He was Destruction after all. As long as Sugarcube was making stuff, he had to be around to break it.
It was such a fun dynamic they had...
They were all supposed to follow the lead of the Guardian. They were the Big Cheese, as he liked to think of it. Cheese made the whole thing more palatable. If they told them to work with a wielder, they worked with that wielder. If they told them to come back, they were supposed to come back. It was a power imbalance that was supposed to exist so the wielders didn’t go out of control. It was about safety, probably. Or maybe it was about control?
Either way, he thought it was a weird move to bestow Guardianship onto Mari-whatever her name. He understood that she was the more well trained of the two, but she was also already Ladybug! It’d be enough to stress out any human. Why not make both of them Guardians? It wasn’t like Fu was the most well trained either.
Was it because Chat Noir was the embodiment of him? Of Destruction? That seemed a little unfair.
It wasn’t his fault that Tikki was the one who got to make stuff! It certainly wasn’t his fault that he liked making stuff fall apart either! He was born that way. Sure, there was a time when he was young and reckless, but just like the time of the dinosaurs, that time was passed! He didn’t just go around blowing up civilizations anymore, certainly not without a Ladybug around to fix it.
It just wasn’t that much fun anymore, if he was honest. Well, it was actually very fun, but not as fun as lounging about and eating cheese. It was a matter of priorities, but some people just didn’t realize that.
Some people thought that as soon as he was out of sight, he’d just sneeze on a building and make it collapse. As if . That building might be a delectable Fromagerie, or it might have people in it.
It…It’s not like Plagg was an idiot. People were afraid of him for good reasons. He was, technically speaking, probably at least a little responsible for most bad things that happened. Bad luck had a tendency to have a big splash effect. He was aware that the Order liked to keep him on a tighter leash because of it. He just hated when that affected the way people saw his wielders because they really were just people.
What was he talking about this for anyway?
None of this mattered, not really. Marinette wasn’t the kind of person who saw Chat Noir as an omen of bad luck. If she was, he doubted that Tikki would have been nearly so happy. She liked to think she was just as responsible for his bad luck. After all, bad luck only existed when she couldn’t fill the space with good luck. It was a nice thought.
Marinette liked Adrien. She liked Chat Noir too. She just...didn’t always act like it.
He was old enough to know how people worked, most of the time he just didn’t care about it. He cares now! That had to matter, right? He was the only one who was around Adrien all the time!
It was that Ladybug girl again. He wanted to like her, she was a lot like Tikki in the best ways, but at the same time…it was like she didn’t even realize she had his wielder’s heart in the palm of her hands! She wasn’t careful with it. It wasn’t her rejection of his wielder, no, those were actually pretty funny. They didn’t wound Adrien much anymore either. It felt like a weird part of their love square by now. Even if she didn’t like Chat Noir romantically, and even if she did love Adrien, she was responsible for the way her actions affected him!
It was all those damn secrets. They were stupid! It was like playing around with knives in the dark. It was like…? It was like…?
What was that saying about cats and curiosity?
Well, he supposed that one didn’t apply here.
After all, it wasn’t like Adrien went looking for the truth and got hurt. He was doing exactly what his partner wanted, keeping his eyes shut even if the truth was shoved right under his nose! This was nothing like curiosity killing the cat! This was like a stupid Turtle stabbed the Cat out of nowhere. It was like the Turtle and the Fox got to see each other all the time! They didn’t meet up barely twice a week and whenever that stupid Butterfly decided to make trouble, just to see each other!
What was that Ladybug thinking? Her Cat got stabbed by a Turtle and she couldn’t even tell! Not even a single cube of camembert sent his way! Not even a kind word.
Who ignored stabby Turtles roaming the city, doing all that gross stuff with foxes! Ladybugs did, apparently!
He was just so-!
He was mad! Pissed! If the dinosaurs saw him now, there wouldn't even be a fossil left! Something was weird with Adrien and he couldn’t even do anything! Oh , he was going to have words with Tikki the next time they saw each other! More than words! Sentences! Paragraphs of long words all about how mad he was! She was going to wish he was just having words!
He’d talk her antenna off! He’d be practically verbose! Gaaah!
No more Mr. Nice God of Destruction! He was serious now! The claws were out! After all these centuries together, she’d be surprised at just how many ways he knew how to curse!
Stupid stabby Turtles!
That didn’t help now though… Sure, he could talk until all he could do was growl at his Kwami brethren, but that wouldn’t help Adrien. Even patrolling didn’t help make him happy anymore. Being Chat Noir didn’t seem to make him as happy as it normally did. It was like all the energy drained out of his partner before Plagg could reach the nearest piece of Camembert to recharge.
Cats who didn’t like being Cats anymore tended to leave. Plagg didn’t want this one to leave, not for a long time. He was his favorite yet! He was nice! Even beyond losing access to his favorite foods, Plagg didn’t want him to go. If he had to, he’d follow Adrien even if the world ran out of camembert. He could eat cheddar, or mozzarella, or even gouda. There were lots of cheeses, but there was only one Adrien.
Ugh, now he was getting all mushy. He could barely stand it when other creatures did that.
…Speaking of mushy, wasn’t he fermenting a lovely goat cheese behind the couch? He was! That was perfect, just the thing he was craving right now. It’d take his mind off his moods.
Maybe Adrien needed some goat cheese of his own? Well, not this goat cheese of course. It was a metaphor! This had taken months to ferment and it was oh, so wonderfully stinky. He could smell it every day and never get tired of it! He could fill the world with the wonderful scent and it wouldn’t be enough...
What was he talking about? Oh, yeah! Cheese! Wait- No, Adrien! Yeah, that sounded right.
Adrien needed some metaphorical goat cheese, something that hit just the right spot to make him feel better. It needed to be smelly, metaphorically, but what would that be?
Maybe he could wrangle that Ladybug into it. She owed him after he didn’t dust the stupid Turtle for stabbing his Cat. Wayzz wouldn’t have stood in his way, not that he could. Tikki would’ve been mad though. Then she would’ve yelled his ears off and he liked his ears right where they were. Adrien would have been sad too because he liked the Turtle still. So Ladybug owed him, obviously.
If he could get the Ladybug into his plan, it was sure to make Adrien cheer up! She’d like that too. She liked Chat Noir and Adrien, so it was a double win for her, even if she didn’t realize it! The issue was what should he do? Maybe Tikki would know? Except, he would have to leave his bed to talk to her and that would be so annoying. She lived all the way across town. Plus, he had to get mad at her before he made plans! And Wayzz, now that he thought about it. Maybe Trixx too, if he felt like it.
He definitely felt like it now.
“Plagg?” Adrien called from over at his computer. He was just scrolling through the Ladyblog right now, way past his bedtime. “Are you planning something? You keep laughing...and growling?”
“What? Who, me?” He held up his last delicious crumb of goat cheese. “I’m just enjoying a late-night snack.”
Adrien totally didn’t believe him. He had no idea why though, Plagg was as trustworthy a cat as there ever was.
Then he turned back around, apparently deciding to go along with the lie. He sighed, making Plagg’s fur stand on end. Maybe it was time to go to bed?
Then he muttered the words that solidified his plans together. He muttered the words that made Plagg realize that even if going to talk to Tikki was annoying, it was worth it. “I probably need to order you some more cheese, don’t I?”
Of course, the question wasn’t meant to be heard. It wasn’t directed at the Kwami, because he knew the answer was always yes. It was rhetorical.
Plagg didn’t have to ask for food here. At the end of every month, there was a mountain of cheese waiting in Adrien’s bedroom ready for Plagg to eat. It had to be brought in on a palette , that was how much he bought. He didn’t have to contain himself around Adrien. If he wanted, he could decide to spend all his time at the Dupain-Cheng Bakery, eating away at their stock of delicious cheese bread. He wouldn’t though, not when the rest of the Kwami was there. Plagg liked his space too much for that. He liked hanging around with Adrien too much for that too. The kid would be too lonely without him, wouldn’t he?
Even when he was all mopey and depressed, Adrien was still trying to take care of him.
That meant something. It meant that even putting aside his responsibilities to the city, to Ladybug, he cared about Plagg. It meant that Adrien was worth any annoyance.
He was going to make his partner cheer up if it took every bit of cheese he had! He’d yell at Tikki until she went along with his plans and then he’d yell at Wayzz because his kid was a stupid idiot! He’d yell at Trixx because…well, he was already yelling. And because he was mad!
Just…after this last crumb. He had to savor.