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“Zero–“
“It’s Zero–!”
The crowd is agitated, the viewers in front of their TVs shocked, and yet no one knows that this–
“Is he going to assassinate the Emperor–“
“Oh god–“
–is all staged. The Zero Requiem.
The parade vehicles come to a halt at a sign of Lelouch, the 99th Emperor or Britannia, who faces the public enemy, Zero, with a challenging glare. They face each other, a moment of stillness between them, until suddenly, everything happens in a blur.
Shots fly through the air, soldiers shout, people from the crowd scream, and Zero zips through the Emperors’s defenses with astonishing speed. It seems almost unreal how easily this masked man cuts through these trained soldiers.
With a graceful leap, he confronts the Emperor directly. His mask and his posture give nothing away, until he draws his sword, readies it to stab forward and–
Suzaku hesitates.
Zero hesitates.
And just like this, because of hesitation born from some emotion, public enemy no.1 gets taken in.
It’s a great day for the Britannian Empire.
It’s the worst day for Lelouch Lamperouge. Because his plan has failed. And his plans never fail.
Nighttime has fallen over the Emperor’s mansion, bedded in soft darkness and comfortable silence. But Lelouch is seeing none of it. His mind is churning, thoughts running a mile a minute.
How did this happen? The Zero Requiem was supposed to be fail save. He had thought it out into every detail, addressed every possible outcome, discussed it over and over with Suzaku, so they could topple the Empire and overthrow this archaic system for ever.
This was a possible outcome.
It shouldn’t have been.
Lelouch sighs, stepping over to the windowfront. Moonlight bleeds into the room, illuminating Lelouch’s form in a pale light. His shadow draws a long, stark line of black ink on the carpet. Everything looks grey, ethereal. Lelouch keeps it no mind.
Where did it go wrong? His guards have been equipped with less weaponry for this parade on purpose, so they were less likely to stop Suzaku from reaching him. Jeremiah did his part well. The sword had been readied at him, and yet...
He didn’t see Suzaku’s face beneath the mask. What kind of face did he make when he hesitated? Something made him stop. Did he see something that made him stop? Something so grave to not follow through at this moment per Suzaku’s judgement?
Lelouch tilts his head in thought. Suzaku has always been prone to sudden decisions based on instincts. In the past, he had often defied orders from his superiors. But they have made this plan foolproof. Together. Why did he suddenly change direction like this? Maybe his Geass order had acted up? Unlikely, but not impossible. Maybe there had been a threat they both didn’t anticipate beforehand.
Unknown factors were always a risk they were willing to take. Lelouch had just expected them to be from the outside, and not from his closest confidant. In the past, there has been betrayals that felt different. Suzaku had been on the opposite site, then. But now they are on the same side, finally, and yet... This betrayal stings and burns.
His train of thought comes to a slow halt. Lelouch sighs. He knows, if he wants answers to his questions, he has to see him.
The tapping of his footsteps is unnecessarily loud in the empty halls of the basement. Catacombs, even, since this mansion has been built on a preexisting foundation. Damp, cold air hits Lelouch’s face as he descends the stairs. The only lightsource from deep within beckons him.
When he reaches the candelabra, he tries to shield his heart and suppress any kind of uprising emotion. Puts on his emperor mask. He then steps into the unlocked prison cell, ready for an encounter with Zero.
Suzaku lies on the floor, breathing shallow. His eyes are vacant, staring into an undefined distance without acknowleding Lelouch’s presence. His Zerosuit is dirty and wrinkled. Suzaku probably hasn’t slept.
Silence settles over them, covering Lelouch’s running thoughts, until he feels smothered by it and wants to cut through it with one simple question: “...Why?”
A light clinking of chains rings in the cold air as he sits up, and Suzaku blinks. “Why?” he echoes, his voice cracking on the syllable.
Lelouch furrows his brows, saying nothing further. They both lock eyes for a long, heated moment. There are a lot of emotions swirling in Suzaku’s green eyes, but Lelouch isn’t equipped to interpret them. He wants to disregard them, to never have to deal with them, but he has an inkling, that they hold the answer to his question.
“Yes,” Lelouch says calmly. “I want to know why you didn’t...” (go through with the plan, do as you were told, finish what we started, kill me, redeem me)
He can’t finish his sentence. It hurts.
Suzaku balls his hands to fists, rattling his chains, but his face calms into an empty façade. “You’ve always been like this, Lelouch.”
A raised eyebrow in question. A cruel smile in return.
“Blind.”
It doesn’t hurt him, he tells himself. Lelouch breathes out. “And what do you mean by that? I have planned this with meticulous foresight and calculated everything–“
Suzaku’s harsh laughter echos thousandfold through the empty catacombs, making Lelouch flinch.
Mockery is not something Lelouch is used to. Not really before being emperor, and certainly not when he ascended the throne. Only this man before him had the gall to laugh at him even while being chained up.
When the haunting echo dies down, Suzaku’s shoulders slump. “This isn’t about your brilliant, strategic mind,” he says, not looking at him. “You’re one of the most clever people I know, and yet one of the most dense.” Before Lelouch can answer with an undignified huff, he continues. “I can’t be the only one who has told you that you’re not really... perceptive.”
Lelouch’s mouth turns down. “This does not answer my question, Suzaku.”
“No. But it is the root of the problem.” His tired look makes the young man look so much older than he is. “You don’t understand other people’s emotions.”
This rings a bell; Millie had chastised him more than once in this regard. They had many moments where she slapped his head, told him to be more considerate of other people’s emotions, and he never quite got what she meant by that. He’s learned over the years how to deal with confessions, or even anger directed at him. But...
“Are you telling me you sabotaged everything I worked for because of some... stupid emotion?” His tone is sharp, angry, and unbelieving.
Suzaku closes his eyes, shaking his head. Like he pities him. Anger rises beneath his emperor’s mask.
“This leads nowhere. You’re not able to understand something you can’t feel.”
The boiling anger rises up into his throat, spills over and coats his words. “You’re in no position to tell me what I can and cannot feel! You were the indifferent one who didn’t show any kind of remorse when we agreed upon the Zero Requiem! Because you’re not capable of it!”
Taken aback, Suzaku’s muscles tense, but Lelouch isn’t done yet. “I suppose that has always been your strong suit when you rose the ranks; but when you fought by my side, I almost didn’t recognize you anymore... You’ve changed so much since...” he trails off, the memory of sunflowers choking him.
Suzaku’s coiled body wants to fight off the chains and grab Lelouch by his lapels. “Don’t you dare bring back some past that has no place in the present,” he spits, “because I could say the same about you, you coward. You wanted to revolutionize my country, and what happened? I am wearing your suit now! It- it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“I am freeing this country!” Lelouch shouts, his hands shaking. “I am still holding onto my promise! If it only hadn’t been for some weak pawn like you who couldn’t do as ordered!”
All fight leaves Suzaku’s mind at his friend’s words. “A pawn... huh.” An ugly sound escapes him. “I should’ve known.”
The moment the words left his mouth, Lelouch regrets it. Under normal circumstances, he never would’ve said something so degrading about his life-long friend. “Suzaku...”
A sad smile tugs at the young man’s lips. “Save it. I don’t want to hear it.”
Regret cracks his mask open, giving way to an oozing wound of honesty. Lelouch tries to compose himself, to get back the upper hand, but it’s a fruitless attempt. Ice slides down his back, and he looks at his shattered friend. A perfect mirror image of himself.
Suzaku sighs and can’t meet Lelouch’s eyes. “Yes, it was a... stupid emotion,” he confesses. “Why I hesitated. But it won’t happen again next time.”
Lelouch hesitates.
Par his nature, he would agree that it shouldn’t happen next time. He would come up with a new plan to stage everything, and let Suzaku be.
But... he can’t.
A thought swirls in Lelouch’s mind – this is the point of no return. Something he can’t back out of. Because he wants to know the truth. Even though he has lived his whole life weaving and living in a web of lies, just once, he wants to know the truth.
“What... kind of emotion was it?” he asks, trying to sound calm, but it tumbles out of his mouth with the grace of a newborn foal.
Suzaku’s head snaps around. “It doesn’t matter. I will play my part next time as ordered,” he mocks, “without remorse.”
Lelouch brushes it off. He knows this tactic of diversion, so he prods again. “What did you feel that made you hesitate?”
“I said,” Suzaku hisses, his eyes stormy, “that it doesn’t matter, Lelouch.”
Unaffected, Lelouch steps closer. “Tell me.”
“God, you can be such a prick.” Suzaku trembles with anger.
Standing right in front of him, Lelouch crouches down, being on eye-level for the first time. Searching for answers on Suzaku’s face. “Please. Tell me.”
And it’s the soft, familiar tone that breaks him, so he overflows with suppressed thoughts and emotions he never tried to name before. “I didn’t kill you, because I couldn’t! I just could not bring myself to end your life, Lelouch, because then you’d be gone and I’d be left alone, on my own, with your blood on my hands, blood that is the most precious to me in this whole world! I am selfish, I know! But I can’t kill the man I love in cold blood!”
Being confronted with the truth doesn’t surprise Lelouch. It makes him sad, wistful, happy. He rises a hand to touch Suzaku’s face, and finds it warm. It reminds him how human he is, a victim to his own feelings. A tragedy from up close.
“Lelouch..?”
The emperor shakes his head to clear his mind from his reverie. “Excuse me, I... was just overcome by some stupid emotion,” he smiles and leans in to lean his forehead against Suzaku’s. He looks directly into Suzaku’s green orbs that try to make sense of the situation. “Even though the Zero Requiem is bigger than us, I feel the same way.”
“Are you saying that–“
“Yes,” he says with laughter in his voice. “Aren’t we stupid?”
An unsteady breath leaves the brunette. His heart swells, but his mind screams at the hopelessness of it all. “Nothing is over, nothing is solved by this,” he chokes, clinging to Lelouch’s robes like a lifeline. “The Zero Requiem has to happen... and you’ll leave me behind.”
His muttered words are raw and Lelouch is hit with the urge to care for him, just like he did with Nunnaly. He always had a protective side to him. He finds the hands on his robes, covers them with his own. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers against Suzaku’s lips. “Because...”
Lelouch pushes down Suzaku’s hands, and his robes open up under the stretch, revealing soft skin inked in red with a fateful winged symbol on his collarbones.
“...I will never leave you ever again.”
