Chapter Text
The candles dipped and waned in the darkness circled around a bowl with an unknown smelling liquid inside. Casting shadows of soft oranges against white walls and slightly stained bed sheets draped over a large window. A desk pushed to the back wall, a standing lamp turned off in a corner, a dresser in the other corner, a night stand next to the bed, and a bookshelf next to the door; Stuffed full of encyclopedias and biographies.
A door opens to the left, a hard thud is heard along with some shuffling across the floor; over chip bags that crunch in the aftermath.
“Fuck,” a voice rings out, a hand stretching to reach for a foot and rubbing at the toe, as she stubbles through the room and nocks a candle over only to catch it seconds before it hits the ground.
“Oh thank fuck,” she whispers under her breath. Hands sweating as she places the candle back down on the floor, wiping her fingers against her shorts excited that she didn't start a fire.
Though it wouldn't have really been her fault. Her sister had interrupted her, running into her room and begging her to watch a few episodes of one piece with her too, and quote lessen the trauma being dealt to her being.
The girl sighs as a hand rubs at her eyes and she sits down in the middle of the room. Picking up each candle carefully she slowly starts to blow them out one by one. She had been trying this shit for months with absolutely zero success or advancements being made. All her research and time was wasted. As well as her much needed privacy.
Moving back home after college seemed like a great option especially so she could do some self study. But it had been 2 years with zero luck and she was starting to lose hope.
Picking up a book from off the floor next to her she flips through the pages as she stands and turns on her lamp.
The front cover reads “Theophysics,” In large letters.
Sitting down on the edge of her bed, hands rush upwards to her hair and grab the roots in distress. All of her theories were going down the drain. physics had always been one of her deeper passions. But when half way through her degree she finds a love for the occult, she can't help but try and connect the two on some weird level.
It's only logical to try and make your two passions converge even if everyone else in your college course thought of you a little weird for doing so. The theological similarities, connections and differences were all there. The theology aspect had come easy like it always had but the occulta. . . not so much. Her theory, outlandish, yes, but plausible, sound even, if she could just prove one thing. That interdimensional travel was possible, and the only way to do that is to, well, do it.
And that's where the problem of all this really lied was it not. Everyone thought she was wasting her time, and her potential including and not limited to her parents.
“Joy!” a figure came barreling through and stumbling into the circle of burnt out candles. Book in hand as she skidded to a stop.
“What Tania?” Joy raised her head to make eye contact with her little sister.
Tania lifted her hands and shoved a book onto Joy’s lap. “One piece vol 1.” lay in front of her. Tania smiled large and a bit red eyed at me.
“You need to start reading one pice Joy!” Tania waved her arms a little in excitement. “I pretty much just forced you to watch the saddest arc in the anime and you didn't even shed a tear at Ace’s death, the only way to fix that is to start from the beginning.” She nodded to herself.
“Tania I dont really-”
“It’s like the best-”
“I have a lot of work to do-”
“And come on not cryin-”
“Nothing is-”
“And we coul-”
“Tania!” Joy raised her voice a little to make her sister listen for a moment. “I don’t have time right now. It’s been two years and nothing. I have to work harder. I dont have the time to watch anime or read manga,ok?” she ends softly, handing the book back to Tania.
“But you need to take a break every once in a while, or you’ll just burn yourself out. I mean look around you. Your rooms, a mess and the candles and the weird circle is the craziest experiment you’ve tried yet. Next thing you know you’ll be sacrificing Tim from next door in a ritual to see if that helps.”
“Tania In won't -” she cut Joy off with a simple flick of her eyes to the bowl still sitting on the floor.
“Not saying that I’d mind, Tim’s an asshole,”
“Tania-”
“Look, I know this is important to you but take a little time to yourself every once in a while ok?” Tania set the book on Joy’s bed as she sighed and set her hand on top of it.
“Fine, I'll try,” Joy forced a smile as Tania nodded back with her own weak smile and walked out of her room.
At Tania’s absence the smile slipped from Joy’s face and anxiety set in again. It’s not like Joy had actually thought that trying to mix science with a ritual she found online for transporting between worlds would work. But she had been running on an hour of sleep and drinking coffee for the past two days. And she was desperate, desperate for even failure at this point.
All this time and she had nothing, she swiped out her hand and the manga next to her flew out across the room and into the bowl of strange smelling liquid.
Gasping Joy rushed over and picked up the book, only to see it wet and smelly in the aftermath. Dropping the book from her grasp again and lumbering back to her bed. She couldn't even keep her kid sister's things from being ruined. At this point she wondered if there was even any more reason for her to keep looking. Maybe it was time for her to call in quits. Move on and find something else to focus all her time and energy into something that she could study in a lab and get paid for. Instead of wasting her days away at a 9 to 5 and then coming home to figure out this mess around her. Maybe if she did her parents would be proud of her. Maybe then they’d take the time to get to know her and Tania. If she could prove that she was worth it. Worth their time then maybe they would finally, finally acknowledge her.
Maybe then her sister wouldn't find a need to try and distract her with anime and the like to cheer her up or take her away from the gloomy loneliness of her room for a few hours.
Sometimes Joy wished that she could figure out interdimensional travel if only to escape the mess of her life around her. Tell no one anything, let them wonder where the crazy theophysists had gone. A true mystery for the ages. And then she could escape into another reality, into another time and place and start over.
She stared out at the cooled candles and the circle for a few moments before reaching for her bedside table and picking up a few pills.
Her sister was a little right, she had been running herself ragged with research and experiments and she needed to sleep, at least for a little while.
Especially if she was going to visit Hanna tomorrow.
The pills went down her dry throat slowly as she turned off the lights. Pulled the covers up to her shin and tried to drift off to sleep.
Slowly the darkness behind her eyes became mystic colors as her sleep-addled brain rushed her to the wakeless world with the help of those sleeping pills.
Waking up the next day was like sitting up in a hospital bed for the first time after a car accident. Slow going and almost useless without the help of another person. But Joy got the job done just fine, if not groggily and slow. Blinking her eyes open she started out in front of her only to see darkness.
It shouldn't be this dark in her room but she didn't dwell on the facts as she reached her hand out toward her lamp and flipped the switch.
“HHUUUNNNGGG,” a frustrated sigh ripped from her lips as the lamp refused to turn on. But really her window should be letting in plenty of light from her backyard. Her room really shouldn't be this dark, and that's when a thought hit her as she hit herself in the head.
Right, that damn sheet over her window she had forgotten to take it down. Slowly turning her achy body over the side of her bed.
She quickly set her feet down just to jerk them back up with a squeak. The floor had felt sandy, but Joy’s floor, her floor was carpeted.
Shakily she set her feet down again and felt the hard cold ground beneath her. Scrunching her toes up she felt as they dragged grains of dirt or sand beneath her up against the underside of her feet.
Standing on wobbly legs she almost tripped over the ends of her pants that sagged around her feet. And she noticed that her nightshirt's arms stretched much farther down her than they should. Shaking those thoughts from her mind in order to stay focused on the matter at hand, she rolled up her pants and arms then moved forward, one, two, three large steps and reached her hand outward. Hoping that she would reach the wall but feeling only air, Joy started to hyperventilate.
A loud booming noise ignited the air 1,2,3,4 seconds before blinking light filled her vision. Trying to quickly adjust her eyes she was able to make out her book shelf, desk, and dresser before her screams were covered up by another booming noise.
It wasn't that her things had scared her, no far from that. What had scared her had been everything else she had seen.
Several trees, standing and knocked to the side, rocks, dirt, and a wall of fleshy scales barley ten feet in front of her.
As another boom lit up the sky, she counted to count the seconds in between to help quell her nevers. 1,2,3,4 and was blinded by light again as she swiftly turned all around her. Seeing her bed, night stand, bowl, trees, rocks, and more of that scaly flesh before it went dark again.
Taking in more deep breaths to try and stabilize her emotions didn't really help that much but was better than nothing. She waited for the next bit of noise as her mind became muddled with fear and anxiety.
Where the fuck was she, how did she get here, what the fuck was the thing around her. Where was her house, Tania, her parents, were they ok? She grabbed her arms and dug her nails in softly to provide a bit of pain. The pain grounded her somewhat as the noise of thunder filled her again.
1,2, 3 seconds and as the light blinded her for a third time she looked up so fast that her head nearly tore off and her eyes widened as they caught sight of the thing above her.
The head of a large snake larger than one she'd ever seen or read about in her many books peared down at her, eyes curious, and mouth big enough to swallow her hole. A scream caught in her throat as she made eye contact with the beast and it began to descend its head as the lightning's glow faded. Leaving Joy once more in pitch black darkness. The sound of her own breaths filled her ears as the rest of the world went silent around her.
What was that thing?
So many questions filled her head that she thought that her eyes may burst and her brain might bulge out from her skull and explode right in front of her eyes.
The loud crack sounded again from around her, no. She counted once more, 1,2,3. And as light filled her vision again. Slanted, yellow eyes stared back at her a hair's breath away, a two pronged tongue sneaking out between its lips to softly slip up Joy’s face.
Before darkness tipped her vision and she fell backward into it. Feeling the hard ground meet her calves, thighs, butt, and back.
Before her head rested against something soft and warm and the world was lost to her.
The large serpent had reacted and flicked out a bit of its body to catch the girl's head as he looked down at the tiny being. The serpent had never seen a being this tiny up close before. Bringing its head even feather down and closer to the tiny things face he saw that wetness trickled down her cheeks even though it had not been raining and there was no water around for miles. The serpent tilted its head in thought as its tongue slipped out and licked up the water.
Saltiness permeated his tongue as wonder filled his eyes. What strange creatures these tiny things were. Not large enough to even come close to satisfying his hunger. Not large enough to pose a threat. But the ability to produce water, extraordinary.
Though maybe stupid, who falls sleep in front of what could be a predator ready to eat them. If it was some kind of defence it was a bad one. The serpent thought for a moment. The only times he had even seen creatures like her were from afar.
Hidden behind some invisible wall, but from what he could see there were many of them over there. His eyes could see at least a few hundred of them from where he sat behind it. But he could also see that there were even more than that in the distance.
Maybe these creatures congregate together because of their poor defenses. Or maybe they had poor defences because they hid behind invisible walls and did not deal with many predators.
Whatever the case, the serpent saw this for what it was. An experience he would never get again. He had never seen one of those creatures venture beyond their wall and had yet to spot one out here in the wild either, until now.
Normally the serpent lived a very mundane life. Finding things to eat, bathing in the large lake, and sleeping.
But having watched this little thing appear before his eyes. He knew that something interesting, something new would happen if he kept this tiny thing alive. And so the serpent softly picked up the creature. For he could feel how fragile and easily breakable its body was. and wrapped it close to its body for warmth. Then watched, as its body moved up and down with its breath and waited for it to awake so he could study this thing more closely.
A blurry collage of greens and browns filled her vision as she wretched her eyes open. Raising a hand to her face and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. As she adjusted herself and rolled to the side. The shirt she had gone to sleep in rose a little to allow a sliver of her stomach to peak out.
As she turned, that tiny bit of skin scraped passed the thing beneath her.
She felt the warm, smooth, and slick skin for only a moment before memories came rushing back to her head. The lighting, the flashes of light, the woods, the dirt, the rocks, and the . . . large snake. A breath escaped through her lips as she sharply turned her head and spotted the large thing lying beneath her, eyes closed and breathing softly.
Why had it not eaten her?
The thing was huge, why had it allowed her to rest on its body?
What a strange creature.
Did it want to eat her alive and awake?
It seems if that were the case the snake would have kept her in a tighter hold.
But here she was.
Just lying on top of the biggest fucking snake she’d ever seen in her life.
Did it want something from her?
If so, what could it possibly want from her?
She had nothing?
And on that note where was she?
How did she get here?
A myriad of questions flitted through her head faster than she could think up answers. And her heartbeat picked up but she forced deep breaths past her lips and into her lungs to quell the deep seeded need to fear and scream.
For now she had to think rationally. She needed to turn it off.
And as if by magic she willed herself a moment to just think. A split second to answer a few questions and move on before the anxiety set back in again.
Why had it not eaten her? Unimportant.
Did it want something from her? Irrelevant.
Where was she? Later.
How did she get here? Later.
What was she going to do now? Escape.
With that moment of clarity she had answered all of the most pressing matters to her and moved on. Anxiety gripped her heart as she willed her hands still. Just a moment like before, a split second of clarity was all she needed and then she could feel again.
She turned it off.
Her hands stopped shaking.
Her knees stilled.
Her fingers moved.
And she scaled down the side of the monster quietly, on one breath hold, while staring at its eyes to see if it awoke. As she reached the ground, she knew her moment was almost up, knew her mind would once again set in and she’d have to feel again.
She took this moment to think instead of move. To take stock of her location and where to go.
Looking around she spotted her dresser. A compass she could use, a knife for protection, a set of clothes, a backpack conveniently thrown on top. Her bed and night stand, covers, and food.
She moved on a time restraint, a restraint of emotional turmoil biting at the back of her mind ready to rear its head. Ready to consume her whole and leave her hyperventilating on the ground. Ready and willing to let her lay wide open and ready for when the snake awakens for her.
No.
Just a little more, keep it off.
She grabbed the backpack, quietly opened the drawers, pulled out some clothes, a knife, a lighter; that she was unaware she even owned, and a compass. Just as quickly she moved toward the night stand and grabbed the little food she kept in the back of the drawer. A box of granola, just opened, some chocolates she liked, a bag of chips, a water bottle, some gum.
She moved again gripping the covers just as a soft wispy hiss hit her ear drums. At the noise her mind began to real again, to feel again. Her hand began to shake and her breath quickened. She hadn't been fast enough, she hadn't been quite smart enough.
Raising her head ready to meet the things eyes she stared at the beast to the left of her. Expecting to meet its yellow lights just like the night before. But allowing a sigh to escape her as she saw them still closed.
Shutting her eyes and reminding herself to turn it off once more, just a little, just a few more minutes. Just until she was safe.
Her grip once more tightened on the cover before yanking it off of her bed and silently shoving it into her bag.
Watching the ground for sticks or something else that made noise instead of the road ahead. She made her way onto no path. But exited the tree line and kept going. Kept walking for hours watching her feet then jerking up to stare at the forest. Reminding herself, just a little more, keep it off for just a little more. Don't think for just a little more.
She stopped only when her legs wobbled and shook and slipped out from underneath her. Falling to her knees she looked ahead and spotted what could be a cave. Or a creature's din. She could not tell if it was safe or not. But she knew for a fact if she were to stay out in the open in this state she would not last long.
So mustering up her arm strength she crawled over to the cave that was, really more of a whole, where she scrambled through, just barely being able to make it. Flopping herself down onto the damp floor she breathed in for the moment. As she did she heard another rumbling noise from before. She counted. 1,2,3,4,5 second and a flash of light made its way into the cave. Illuminating the space around her.
Her head whipped from side to side surveying the cave that she was in. Finding herself to be a little less disoriented than before she took stock of the scene much faster than she had the first time. Spotting the ragged walls, bare floors, sparse un-touched dirt, and the back of the cave all in one go.
From that one flash her wavering but still there mind was able to come to the conclusion that the cave had no other residence and had maybe never housed a living creature in it other than a few bugs. With the last stretch of her sanity Joy reached into her back, pulled out her cover and a shirt, then stuffed the shirt into her mouth and placed the cover around her.
The cover because she was cold. And the shirt? The shirt because she didn't know what was out there, didn't know if the snake woke up and was looking for her. And because she refused to take chances.
Hearing the rumble just start she allowed herself to scream as loud as she could. Her tears leaked down her face as she raged and her gut turned in on itself.
And just as the rumbles stopped, she counted again, to stabilize herself. 1,2,3,4,5 seconds and light lit up the sky again to a brilliant array of electric charges jetting through the clouds.
And again as the beginnings of rumbles started her teeth took purchase into the fabric of her shirt she screamed. Allowing her mind to finally come apart and ask question after question with no answers in site. Desperation turning into lunacy in minutes. As she allowed herself to break apart.
Allowed her body to shake and spasm as her mind slowly lost itself to her rhythm of rumbling, screaming and counting over and over again.
Until her voice had gone horse, her body could no longer move, and her eyes refused to stay open. Her last thoughts being of putting herself back together in the morning and surviving, she fell into darkness again.
As the clarity of wakefulness met her. She refused to open her eyes for a moment. Hoping beyond hope that she would be in her bed. In her parents house. That he sister would storm in and demand she make her famous blueberry pancakes for her. And that the world would simply move back into place.
But as she blinked her eyes open, tears fell as the only thing that greatted her was a rock wall, a cave opening, and her backpack beside her.
And she cried, she cried for how lost she felt. She cried because of her confusion and fear. But most of all she cried because she didn't know what to do.
Sniffing and wiping away the tears and snot she slapped her cheeks repeatedly. Crying would not help, she had done that. She had allowed herself to break last night and promised herself she’d fix it in the morning.
It was morning now and it was time she made good on that promise. It was time she put herself back together and survived.
With the last vestiges of her break down varying off she took stock by looking out of the tiny sliver of a hole of the cave. It was then that she noticed for the first time since she found herself here. That the sky had not changed. That the forest had been dark the entire time and had not changed. Joy knew that it had to have been over 24 hours since she had gotten here, there's no way it hadn't.
So the first thing she realized was that wherever she was at. Day and night cycles did not flow in 24 hour increments. This fact also made it apparent that she would not be able to tell time very easily. Taking another look she noticed that the clouds hovered thick in the sky. Maybe it wasn't that it was not daytime, maybe it was just that the clouds covered the sun up completely.
She could tell that without the lightning the forest was a little easier to see through. Not as dark but also not bright enough to see all that far into.
Slumping back into the cave she sighed. She peered out again as a rustling was heard. Lumbering into the clearing outside was a larger than normal rat. Its harry body and long snout was pressed into the ground as it got closer and closer.
Quietly moving back farther into the cave Joy watched and listened. It obviously was following a smell. Her smell to be exact. Her mind raced with idea’s.
Calm down.
Watch.
Listen.
Solution.
Looking closer she really started to look at the thing. At first glance it looked like any other rat she had even seen other than the size. This rat had to be at least 5 times the size of a regular one. It had fur and a wet nose that it sniffed with. Though it’s ears didn't move or shift at the little sounds of the forest.
Deciding to take a little bit of a chance Joy lifted her head and rapped on the edge of the cave. Her body shook as she tapped 1,2,3 times against the wall.
And Nothing. Its ears didn't twitch, it’s head didn't move. Absolutely nothing. Though it moved closer still to her tiny cave. Taking a breath and another look at it in the dark.
She squinted her eyes at the thing and she noticed something else as well. Where the eyes should be, there was only fur.
It would seem that in the dark of this forest. Some animals had evolved to adapt. Losing one or two of its senses in favor of enhancing another. In this case this rat had lost its ability to see and hear in favor of enhancing its ability to smell.
With this new information she had to think fast. In all of her delayed watch, listen, solution, it had taken its chance to close in on her hiding space.
But from the information Joy could gather she knew that all she had to do to disorient this creature was to overwhelm its sense of smell. If she could do that it had no other way of seeing so to speak.
Reaching into the side and front pockets of her backpack she hoped that something had been left there to help her in this situation. Something that she liked to carry around with her everywhere just in case.
Grasping a small spray bottle joy grinned in triumph. Before opening the large zipper of her bag and grabbing the knife. Just as she threw her bag into the back of the cave the rat's nose stuck itself into her safe haven. And with only adrenaline in her veins she sprayed the things right in its nostrils with perfume.
Reeling back, the rodent of unusual size brought its paws up to wipe at its nose. Trying to dislodge the smell from its nostrils.
Giving herself no time to think. Because she knew that if she did she’d hesitate. And if she hesitated that thing could make its move and she’d be dead.
She moved her body outside of the cave and took her knife to the back of its down turned head.
The rodent of unusual size yowled as the knife dug in as far as she could plant it. It twitched on the ground as Joy grabbed the handle with both hands and pulled with all her might to make it dislodge again. Knowing that the only reason she could remove it was due to the high and fear she was riding off of.
Stumbling back a step, she quickly but clumsily gained her footing and jabbed the thing, with all the luck in the world at her back, directly where she had stabbed it before. Digging it in deeper, the thing collapsed onto the ground and stopped moving.
Breathing in deeply a few times. Grounding herself and coming down from the high she just stared.
She stared for what felt like an eternity at the thing, in this nightmare forest, that she had just killed.
And staring at the carcass made bile rise in her throat and disgust eat at her guts. She quickly swallowed what was sure to be puke back down, and pushed the feeling of disgust away.
And after a moment of pushing away her most instinctive reactions another feeling hit her.
This one was not warm but still better. A thin line of a smile attached itself to her lips as she took hold of the knife again and began to slowly wedge its blade out of the beast.
The small burst of emotion that she felt was accomplishment, slowly accompanied by acceptance.
To survive she’d have to kill, not to just protect herself but to eat. And though she hated seeing this dead creature she knew she could use it, all of it. And that she would do at least that if she could.
Because reminding herself that death was for survival was better than calling herself a killer, and she could accept that.
Taking the rat’s fur with both hands she struggled to lug the mass back into her hovel. Realizing quickly that it was unlikely to fit through the narrow hole, she stopped and stooped down.
Joy had never cut into an animal before. Had never sliced and chopped meat and bone before. Nausea gripped her again at the thought. She had to swallow several times this go around before the bubbles stopped climbing up her throat and lodging there.
She had to remember, to remind herself
Survival.
Turn. it. Off.
And she did, just a few moments like before, just a little bit to get through the hard parts, to start at the very least.
The knife in her grip jerked as she raised it a little and made the first cut into its side.
Survival.
Cutting deeper,
Survive.
Cut.
Survive.
Cut.
Survive.
With each slash of her knife into its flesh she reminded herself of the most important things.
Slash.
Survive for your sister.
Cut.
Survive for your mom and dad, who may be disappointed in you but still love you.
Slash.
Survive for Hannah.
Slash.
Survive, don't die here like a dog.
Cut.
Survive, don't give up on yourself.
Slash.
Tears leaked down her face as she continued refusing to wipe them away but continued to ask them to please stop. The tears obstructed her vision and made the job harder and slower. Made her wallow in this space for far too long. She just needed a little more, a few more minutes and she could feel. She would allow herself to feel after that.
But for now, her tears stopped, for now she would adapt and she would survive.
Hours passed and she skinned the animal with zero skill. Wasting more of the meat than she would like. But she trudged on until she was done with the task.
And having carved what little meat her shaky hands could from the thing and taking the bones. She moved the pelt over to the side of the entrance, and far enough away that she could not smell it and left it there. She lumbered back into her cave with her prizes, curled in on herself and cried.
She had promised just the night before that she could do it. That she could put herself back together again. And she had failed, just like with all her experiments over the years, she had failed.
And this time instead of disappointing her peers, or her parents, she disappointed herself. So she cried. She cried out of pity for herself, and she kept crying far longer than she should have. Before once again doing what she always did. Putting herself back together and trying again.
If there was one thing in the world that Joy had an abundance of, It was perseverance. And so she sat up, gathering some tree limbs from outside. And spent the next however long starting a fire and cooking the meat.
As she filled her stomach up with the cooked meat she went over what she had learned that day.
And She realized quickly; that more than anything she was going to survive. and that she’d have to do what she had always done.
What she was taught to do for all these years. She would have to watch, observe the world around her, like an experiment. Watch the outcomes, incorporate the knowledge, adapt and survive.
If she wanted to last more than a few days she’d have to do better. She couldn't think up solutions on the fly and hope for the best like she had done today. The outcomes of those interactions were too risky, too unsure.
To give herself the best chance at living she’d learn about the creatures here. Attack and eat the ones that she knew she could beat. Hide from the ones that she was no match for. And keep moving, if she stayed she’d get comfortable and never find out where she was or how to get out of this forest.
Her plans were simple.
She had enough rations to last her maybe a week if she really stretched it. She would stay there and watch out of the cave's tiny entrance. She would observe and experiment on any creature that passed by. And she would watch the sky for changes. Hopefully the rat's pelt would cover up her scent enough to not draw eyes to her hidey hole.
She'd see if there was a day and night cycle that was shrouded by the clouds or if perpetual night was in the future for her. And after those 7 days she would give herself no choice but to go out and scout around. Find a new place to stay in the area and hop from one camp to the next in hopes that she'd stumble across a town somewhere. So she hunkered down into her cave making sure to stay silent as she watched the forest around her.