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"Tell me the reason why you left the Port Mafia." Chuuya himself isn't very sure why he is picking at the scab now that everything feels alright for once. Even though they've always had this unspoken agreement to maintain this bubble of the past over them when they have the other's company.
Maybe it is an instinct that calls for him to sabotage the false calm because it won't last, or maybe it is precisely because he feels that it is now safe to speak it out loud and expect the amiability to remain. They are stronger now.
"You know that. You've already read the reports, haven't you?" Dazai is serene as always, trying to steer the conversation away.
"No. I want to hear it from you." Chuuya pauses, rethinking his argument. "I've spent so long being hurt and angry and unable to see past the fact that you'd left, but now I want to know why, because I think I'm ready to understand." His eyes turn away, aware that he's taking a gamble on Dazai's openness to him.
Dazai takes a deep breath, and he no longer looks calm or content. His eyes go a bit unfocused and he looks tired. For a moment, Chuuya starts to wish that he hadn't asked, until Dazai starts talking.
"The mafia had my friend killed; the first person I ever dared to consider one out loud. He was the best thing about this world. Where my life is empty and meaningless, his was bright and hopeful. His dreams were beautiful and so were his actions. He'd do anything to protect innocent souls, even at the cost of his..." His former partner trails off. Chuuya doesn't dare interrupt.
"He saw me, he understood my mind, and he accepted that. And, on the day he died, he asked me to do good, to save people, because even without a purpose, he said it would be more beautiful. He had to be right, at least somewhat, because he was beautiful, and I've never known anyone who's done more good than him."
Finally, Dazai turns to Chuuya, but not looking for understanding or analyzing his response. His stare is still vacant, like he was just talking about something that happened to someone else a long time ago.
Chuuya's hands flitter at his sides for a second, before he awkwardly wraps them around Dazai's shoulders, covering him in a semblance of a hug, given by someone who isn't sure of how that is neither in the theory nor the practice.
A minute passes like that until Dazai finally reacts and wraps an arm around the redhead softly, bringing him into a real hug. He's not that experienced at them either, but it's hard not to get some practice surrounded by the family-like companionship in the agency.
Chuuya melts into the hug and says softly, as though embarrassed to admit it. "I understand... Why things had to be like this, and, I'm still hurt that you left, but I'm glad that you did, to keep your promise to a friend, and because of how much you've changed." He looks up into his eyes, venturing to add, "I didn't know him that well, but Oda would be proud of you."
"Yeah… He would be." Osamu's eyes have a glassy glint to them as he presses his face into Chuuya's locks. Both of them settle into the quiet whisper of their breaths and stay there for a very long time.