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Tony blinked and shook his head, trying his best to shake the fog that was settling over his brain.
"Sir, I would like to remind you that you have been awake for over 46 hours," JARVIS said over the music blastic through the shop speakers at unreasonable levels. It was a miracle Tony could understand him at all.
Tony plastered a smirk on his face. "That's not even two days, hardly reason for worry."
Tony could almost hear the AI sigh.
"Besides, I've got a couple of emails to catch up on before I take off. Pepper will kill me if I don't get through my list today." Tony said, having to suppress a sigh halfway through his sentence.
"Sir," JARVIS started before Tony cut him off."
"J, I already said I'm not finished. End of discussion."
"Of course, Sir, but--"
"J, I said no!" Tony cut the AI off again, this time looking directly into the camera mounted in the ceiling next to one of the blaring speakers. He was thinking through all of the ways he could have donated JARVIS years ago and avoided the many headaches caused by the AI.
It took a moment for Tony's ears to pick up on an odd sound under the rock music. It sounded as if Tony had left the tap on, but he was sure he hadn't. When his brain finally caught up to the rest of his senses, he stood with a startled gasp. The puddle under his seat was undeniable and Tony felt his stomach drop.
He'd been so focused on work, he'd forgotten the time! "Dammit!" he yelled, racing for the bathroom. He knew it was too late, but his brain was on autopilot, and Tony's autopilot hardly ever made sense. He winced at the wet, mushy feeling of his shoes as he tried to pull down his pants unsucessfully.
His brain was filling with "what ifs" and "if only's" as he kicked his pants away, having to wipe at his face as tears started pouring down. If only he wasn't Little, If only there wasn't anyone else in the Tower like there used to be, if only someone cared.
Before The Avengers formed, Tony had built the Tower as his own little sanctum. With Rhodey rising in rank in the Air Force and Pepper taking care of SI, Tony had a lot more spare time on his hands. Well, not a lot more, but more than he used to. And more space than the Malibu house had allowed. Obi and Howard were gone and that meant he got to shut JARVIS up about dropping into Little Space for a while. He couldn't really Drop, because he was alone and even with JARVIS and the Bots, he knew it was too risky. But he could turn off his ever-chugging brain for a little bit and watch some cartoons.
But then the world became even more complicated when Aliens attacked and The Avengers formed and Tony opened his sanctum to people he hardly knew under threat from Fury. Tony liked the other Avengers, really, he did, but sometimes... sometimes he felt like they went out of their way to not be around him.
They would stop talking when he went into the community kitchen on the main floor, and they would let him take the elevator without joining him. Even when they made team dinners or movie nights, Tony was invited but it never felt like they really wanted him there. They always made him his own bowl of popcorn and never offered from the larger bowl everyone else shared if he ran out--always making more and putting it in his bowl individually. He was never brave enough to ask why and instead started politely declining any invitations to group functions.
But now he was cold and shivering on the bathroom floor of the shop instead of curled up on the sofa watching some dumb documentary Bruce picked out because it was his turn. Grated, with as close as he'd been to his headspace lately, this could very well have happened upstairs and that would have been a million times worse.
The thing was, no one knew Tony was a Little. Howard had paid off the examiner and any inquiries after had been kindly asked to fuck off. Officially, Tony was a Neutral. A Baseline. Nothing special in any direction. He was a genius and that usually explained any "excentric" Little behaviors he showed by accident. Not even Pepper or Rhodey knew. Well, maybe Rhodey because they had roomed together, and being drunk only explains away wetting the bed so many times. But they never talked about it, and that's the way Tony liked it.
Now he was sitting on the floor alone in wet underwear--yes, he knew he should have worn something more protective when down in the lab, but he'd run out the other day and hadn't had a chance to restock. He didn't want to deal with it anymore. He didn't want to deal with SI or Iron Man or the mean Avengers or anything! He just wanted to be cleaned and put to bed because, now that he was crying, it was painfully obvious how long it'd been since he slept.
A knock on the bathroom door pulled him out of his spiral and towards the tall figure standing in the doorway.
"Tony? What's wrong?" Steve said coming into the room. His face was twisted into a stern yet confused look, the same one he got when in the middle of a battle he didn't understand yet.
Tony's breath hitched. He was good at creating cover stories, good at faking things, but he was too far gone to fake anything right now.
"I believe Sir is in need of a change and some sleep, Captian," JARVIS said helpfully.
Steve's face automatically softened. "Oh, Tony."
Tony let out a small squeak as Steve picked him up effortlessly and pressed their chests together. Tony's legs wrapped around Steve out of pure instinct, and Steve helped Tony hook his arms around Steve's neck. And then they were walking out of the shop and into the elevator. Even after all of the distress from only a moment ago, Tony could feel himself relax into Steve's arms. Steve smelled of fresh laundry and Maple leaves. Tony liked that smell.
Tony had to force his eyes open when the elevator dinged. Steve walked into the common kitchen, rooting through the cupboards before seeming to grab what he needed and walk back out of the room.
"Hey, what's up?" Bruce asked. Tony looked over his shoulder to see Bruce do a double-take, eyes locking with Steve's.
"JARVIS said Tony needed assistance in the shop, but wouldn't tell me what. When I got down there, I found him like this." Steve said as a way of explanation.
"Poor Little guy. Must have been a while since he Dropped," Bruce said, and that took Tony by surprise, even in his muddled state.
"Nah' Little," Tony said in his Biggest voice. Cause he had to make sure the team didn't know. It was a secret.
"No, you're a big boy aren't you?" Steve said with mild amusement.
Tony nodded but shaking his head made him feel like a bobblehead, so he stopped and rested it back on Steve's shoulder.
"Come on, buddy, Let's let you to bed."
This time when Tony's eyes closed, he didn't force them back open until Steve placed him on his back and pulled off his wet and cold underwear.
"Hey, baby, where do you keep your diapers?" Steve asked gently.
"Out." Tony said.
"You're out?" Steve questioned, seeming to hold back utter surprise and failing. "Why didn't Pepper order you more?"
Tony looked up at Steve confused. Why would Pepper order him Diapers?
Steve seemed to think for a moment before saying, "Tony, is Pepper not your Caregiver?"
"Pepper my friend!" Tony said excitedly. Or, as excited as he could get when he was so tired.
"Pepper's... your friend?" Steve asked.
Tony nodded his head.
"Then who's your caregiver?" Steve asked.
"No one, take care of myself," Tony explained.
Steve's eyebrows furrowed like he wanted to say more, but didn't. Instead, he pulled out his phone and tapped for a moment, then returned to undressing Tony. A few moments later, Tony was snuggling into his favorite hoodie when Bruce came into his room with a folded diaper and something else Tony didn't recognize.
Steve quickly wrapped TOny in the diaper--which Tony DID NOT need, but allowed because Steve said he'd get a treat if he behaved. The teat turned out to be a sippy cup of warm milk flavored with vanilla. Tony happily sipped on it as he drifted off, awake just long enough to hear Steve say he needed to call Pepper before drifting off.
Tony woke up the next morning feeling more rested than he had in a long time. JARVIS started reading off the date and time, telling Tony he'd slept through most of the afternoon.
"Shit!" Tony said, tossing his body to roll out of bed. As he did, he felt the familiar squish of a wet diaper between his legs and inwardly cringed as last night came flooding back to him. And then he felt panic rise in his chest as he realized just what happened the previous night.
"Tony," a voice pulled Tony out of his panic and to Steve standing in the doorway, the same way he had last night.
Oh god, last night! Steve had seen everything! Tony was going to get kicked off the team! And that was only the beginning of his troubles if the rest of the world found out! SI stock would drop, he'd lose his majority seat on the board--
"Hey, breathe for me, baby," Steve said, gently taking one of Tony's hands and sitting them both down on the edge of the bed. "In and out, you got this."
Tony had a hard time catching his breath, but his panic faded much more quickly than he thought possible. If Steve was sticking around, even after last night, then maybe--just maybe--Tony wouldn't lose his spot on the team.
"There we go, much better," Steve said with a supportive smile.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Tony asked, and the question seemed to catch Steve off guard.
"What do you mean?" Steve asked.
"You avoid me most of the time, along with everyone else. Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?" Tony asked. Even if he was Big at that moment, he still felt hot tears spring to his eyes.
"Is that... Is that what you think we're doing?" Steve asked. When Tony nodded his head, Steve pulled him in for a hug. "Tony, no. Never! We were just trying to give you space to work. It didn't seem like you wanted people in your personal space too much. We noticed you'd jump if one of us came too close so we made a group pack to just keep a comfortable distance."
"Oh," Tony said, tears now falling onto Steve's white shirt. That same comfortable smell from last night coming back. Tony pulled away after a moment, looking at Steve. "Then why did you all always give me my own bowl of popcorn but share one with everyone else on movie nights?"
"Because we were eating caramel corn, baby. We didn't want you hopped up on sugar so late, so we always just made you the normal kind. Did you never notice that Clint got his own bowl too?" Steve asked with a bemused smile.
Tony shook his head. After he thought about that, it did make a lot of sense. Their popcorn always smelled sweet and his never did. But wait a second--
"Does the whole team know?" Tony asked, paniced.
"Baby, we've known for a while."
"How?" Tony asked.
"We all just kind of figured it out, sweetheart. It's not as if you have to be a super spy to notice frequent sheet changes or you thumb sucking habit." Steve jokes, pulling at Tony's thumbnail that was sitting in his mouth.
Tony gaped. He must have really not been paying attention if he was slipping so bad.
"We just hadn't brought it up because you didn't. We all thought Pepper was your Caregiver. Natasha looked it up last night, though. Apparently, she's an Alpha."
Tony nodded. "I don't think she knows."
Steve sighed at that, seeming to mark that for a later discussion. "Be that as it may, it means we have a very Little boy amoung us --" Tony cringed, his heart dropping as he predicted every possible way for that sentence to end."--who hasn't been taking care of himself."
Tony looked up questionably.
"JARVIS told me it's been weeks since you last Dropped. That's not healthy Tony. What if we got a call to assemble and you were off your game? Someone could get hurt."
"I'm not a liability! I've been just fine on my own!" Tony defended.
"All I'm asking is that you Drop once a week. It can be with any of the Caregivers on the team, but once a week. It'll prevent breakdowns like that little escapade last night and help with team bonding." Steve said.
Tony huffed, crossing his arms. It was hard to be mad when Steve was being so reasonable about it. Not to mention, the thought of even one more night like last night sent a warm flutter through his system.
"Fine" Tony huffed.
"Good boy." Steve smiled, rustling Tony's hair.
Tony basically preened under the praise but shook it off immediately after.
"Movie night's in a few hours. that'll give you some time to take a shower and then we can get you dressed into something comfy and get some food in your belly, okay?" Steve said gently, standing up from the bed.
"But I just dropped last night!" Tony said. "You said one day a week!"
"You don't have to be Little to wear comfortable pajamas and watch a movie, Tony."
Tony opened his mouth the hit Steve with a comeback, but... He didn't have one. Steve was right. Instead, Tony closed his mouth and sighed. "Fine."
A few hours later saw Tony on the couch, dressed in footie pajamas Steve had pulled from somewhere and tucked between Steve and Bruce. Tony's little bowl of popcorn sat in his lap, now a warm weight of how much the people around him cared about him. Clint had a matching small bowl as he curled into Phil's side. Tony really wanted to hug Steve like that but wasn't sure he was ready.
For now, he'd enjoy the fuzzy warm place being on the couch and watching a funny movie brought.