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If you write smut, this guide is not for you.
And why yes, I do teach sex ed sometimes. You’re going to wonder.
So, you want to write smut. But you don’t feel smutty. Maybe you’ve never personally felt smutty. Maybe the smut words won’t happen. Maybe it’s performance anxiety. Maybe it’s meds. Maybe it’s stress. Maybe it’s WORDS about SEX on the INTERNET, and you CANNOT.
But your story needs smut, and that’s valid. Maybe your plot hinges on it. Maybe you just want to reward your characters with some nice, juicy orgasms. Maybe you want the explicit rating because you know people like explicit content, and you want to learn a new skill as a writer. All valid.
So, we like to outline our stories. Can we outline the sex scenes? Yeah, kinda!
Let’s abuse our Psych 101 textbook!
Masters and Johnson Stages of Arousal
- Excitement: Our characters are getting hard/wet, flushed, and starting to breathe heavily. Maybe they’re lost in their own imagination while sitting next to their partner in the car. Maybe they’re making out. Maybe they’re alone in bed watching porn. Maybe they’re in denial of their own growing arousal at this point. Hands are wandering, thighs are getting humped, and that seam in their jeans is suddenly very nice.
- Plateau: Folks, we have intentional stimulation! They are at peak engorgement/lubrication. The Sex Act is Happening! They are stroking/sucking/fucking/vibrating/grinding and this is where they say things like “If you keep doing that, I’ll come” and “Stop, or I’ll come” and “Oh, fuck, if you stop, I’ll punch you.” For example.
- Orgasm: Regardless of genitalia, they are going to have tension or a feeling of building weight somewhere between navel and knees. That sensation will break in rhythmic muscle contractions of the genitalia and often anus. Throw in some foot cramps and awkward mono-syllabic vocalizations.
- Resolution: Our characters’ breathing returns to normal, flushed skin fades, genitalia calm down or face oversensitivity. Penis-havers will typically spend longer here before they can resume sexual activity. This is where emotional content usually happens. Happy snuggles, embarrassed sneaking out, awkward conversations, “What have I done?” panics, high-fives, snacks, etc.
Do we need to go in order? Hell, no, we just can’t skip over steps. Does everybody in the sex scene need to stay on the same stage at the same time? Hell, no.
We can approach orgasm several times before getting there, and we can go back for seconds: 1-2-”Oh, no you don’t, baby”-2-1-2-1-2-33333333-4-2-1-2-1-2-333333-4-”That’s my good girl.”
We can go 1-2-DRAMATIC INTERRUPTION!
We can have one character blaze right through to orgasm, then come back to their partner who’s still at 1 and get them off.
Point is, mix it up.
Let’s focus on sex scenes with two or more characters. The absolute biggest stall I see is what I call The Leaderless Dance. Are your characters endlessly negotiating consent without actually doing anything? Do they sound like they’re trying to order FlatTop over the phone? (Yes, I’d like that, and that, and that, but no, not that.) Has your dialogue turned into a weird “Yes, and…” with everybody’s clothes still on?
If it sounds like I’m picking on you, you need to designate one character to lead, and one to follow. Base it on their personalities, or histories, or plot. The leader says “I want you.” The follower says “Yes.” The leader says “I’m going to.” The follower says “Go on, then.” The leader says “I’m taking this.” The follower says “Please do.”
Side note, this has utterly nothing to do with dominance and submission or BDSM, but it does have roots there. Credit to Whytrusttomhanks on FetLife.
Does the leader have to be a static thing? Hell, no. Switch leaders mid-dance. Switch back. Switch leaders mid-plot. Make the inexperienced partner lead and turn the experienced partner into a squealing mess. Have them butt heads and both try to lead for a bit. But someone always needs to lead, or they will stand there and look at their author for direction.
Cool, but how is that an outline for writing smut? Well, we’re not trying to win the porn Pulitzer, so let’s consider each stage a paragraph. And let’s use lead-follow like a call and response. That’ll take care of our physical actions.
But Slot A, Tab B is pretty boring, so let’s make an outline with sensory details, and let’s label them. A-Smell/taste, B-Touch/texture, C-Sound/words, D-Proprioception/positioning.
We don’t need sensory input from all of our senses in every stage. Notice that I didn’t put sight in as a sense at all. Your narration serves this purpose. Unless there’s a dramatic reveal of a character’s tattoos or scars or remarkable genitalia, the reader probably knows what the characters look like.
Let’s outline a really standard 1-2-3-4 with no switching of the leader, and only the main character completing the sequence (having an orgasm).
Excitement
1.A Smell/taste
1.B Touch/texture
1.C Sound/words
1.D Proprioception/positioning
Plateau
2.A Smell/taste
2.B Touch/texture
2.C Sound/words
2.D Proprioception/positioning
Orgasm
3.A Smell/taste
3.B Touch/texture
3.C Sound/words
3.D Proprioception/positioning
Resolution
4.A Smell/taste
4.B Touch/texture
4.C Sound/words
4.D Proprioception/positioning
Now, let’s fill it in with some arousal points and sensory phrases before we write a draft.
1.A Cologne, hard nipples
1.B Sheets, goosebumps
1.C “The kids are asleep.” teeth on an earlobe
1.D Stubble, cool air against panties
2.A Salty skin, heavy breathing
2.B Calloused hands, flushed cheeks
2.C “You’re so wet” suction and tongue
2.D Stretch/fill “Don’t stop.”
3.A Sheets, sweat
3.B Hair between fingers, approaching orgasm
3.C Screaming into a pillow, orgasm
3.D Muscle contractions, writhing
4.A Fresh air, gasping
4.B Teeth on inner thigh, playful swat
4.C “What’s that you’ve got there?” fading oversensitivity
4.D Spreading thighs, removing clothing
NOW START OVER AT 1A FOR CHARACTER B’S ORGASM (but Character A is totally going to come again. Probably twice.)
Sounds kind of hot already, right?
We’re almost ready to write this as a scene, but there’s something missing. Any guesses? (Somebody shouts “Emotions!” from the back row.) That’s right!
Why aren’t emotions in the outline? Because I don’t know your characters. That’s why. Look back through the few pages before your sex scene. How often do your characters experience some kind of emotion? How many times do they express it? When they express it, how do they convey it? With gestures? Words?
What pre-existing emotional needs that you’ve written into these characters are going to be addressed in the sex scene, if any? Are your characters on the same page, emotionally? Is one of your characters falling in love while the other is hate-fucking? Is one of them reading into the relationship more than the other? Smut doesn’t have to be revelatory, but if it’s part of your character or relationship development, you’ll want to spend some time here.
Okay, so we’re gonna write the sex scene now, right? Ah, ah, ah. One last thing. Especially if, personally, sexual attraction is not your thing.
Did you hint to the reader that these characters were sexually attracted to each other before they had sex? Or did you pull a Suddenly Sexual? It’s like Suddenly Salad, but instead of salad, you have two people who go from platonic friendship to jerking off on each other’s faces with no lead-up. Has your main character stared at their intended’s butt and had sexy thoughts? Has anyone watched anyone eat a popsicle a little too long? Have they admitted to themselves that they want to do pants-off-funtimes things?
If not, start layering it in shortly after the characters begin to interact. Never underestimate the plot-driving power of the main character laying awake masturbating about the other character.
NOW can we just write the smut? Almost. Edging ever closer (pun). What words do you like for genitals? For bodily fluids? Use words you like. You’re going to have to read this multiple times while you edit. Use the words that don’t make you cringe. If ALL of the words make you cringe, there’s no shame in a lot of “him/her/themself” and “body”.
NOW? Shhh… Decide whether your fictional sex has real-world consequences. Do you need to address STD/HIV and pregnancy concerns? Do you want to? Will unprotected m/f sex be a pregnancy risk red herring that distracts readers? Do you want to write about condoms? Did your characters need to talk about this several pages ago? There are no correct answers. Only considerations.
Okay. Let’s write a shitty draft of that outline.
1.A Cologne, hard nipples
1.B Sheets, goosebumps
1.C “The kids are asleep.” teeth on an earlobe
1.D Stubble, cool air against panties
I inhale his cologne from the pillowcase, and my nipples harden. The sheets grow warm against my bare skin, but goosebumps race down my arms.
“The kids are asleep,” he says, teeth nipping my earlobe. His stubble rubs along my jaw, and cool air hits my damp panties as he whisks the sheet off my body.
2.A Salty skin, heavy breathing
2.B Calloused hands, flushed cheeks
2.C “You’re so wet” suction and tongue
2.D Stretch/fill “Don’t stop.”
I lick my lips, taste the salt left on them from his skin, and smother my breathing against his shoulder. A rough, calloused hand slides down my body, and blood rushes to my cheeks in a hot rush.
“You’re so wet,” he whispers.
His mouth works down my neck, down my chest, and his tongue laps over my nipple before he latches onto it.
He spreads me open around his fingers, and my thighs fall open. “Don’t stop.”
3.A Sheets, sweat
3.B Hair between fingers, approaching orgasm
3.C Screaming into a pillow, orgasm
3.D Muscle contractions, writhing
The sheets stick to my lower back as I rock into his touch. My fingers thread through his hair, holding his mouth against my chest. Tension builds with every movement of his hand, and I bury my face in his pillow. My body tightens around him, pulling him closer, pulling him inside me as I shout, muffled, into linen saturated with his scent.
4.A Fresh air, gasping
4.B Teeth on inner thigh, playful swat
4.C “What’s that you’ve got there?” fading oversensitivity
4.D Spreading thighs, removing clothing
He slows, and I break away from the pillow and gasp for air. He kisses his way down my body and nips at the inside of my spread thighs. I sigh and swat at his hair.
He rises to his knees and my eyes wander down his body. “Mm, what’s that you’ve got there?”
With a smirk, he pulls my panties down and off.
Not terrible, right? Let’s layer in some emotions and clean up the positioning a little. And while we’re at it, let’s give them a little backstory, some more dialogue, and a bit of relationship depth.
A note on sex scene dialogue. If your character is in stages 2 or 3 above, full sentences are unrealistic. Your characters are breathing heavily and a lot of their blood flow is being diverted to their genitalia. If one of them needs to say something like “I love you, and I’ve always loved you. You complete me in ways no other human has,” they need to save that for post-sex pillow talk.
As a general rule, if you can’t say it while sneezing, you can’t say it during vigorous sex. Very, very similar. “Oh, shit, I’m gonna sneeze. I’m gonna- I’m gonna- ACHOO!” Versus: “Oh, shit, I’m gonna come! Oh, fuck, I’m coming!” And, in both cases, bodily fluids, weird facial expressions, and involuntary muscle contractions. You will never think about sneezing the same again. You’re welcome.
Okay, with that all in mind, let’s jazz up the draft we just wrote.
I’m alone, curled up around his pillow for the fifteenth night in a row. His plane was supposed to land yesterday. Then, this morning. Then, noon. Then, whenever the airline felt like it.
I inhale the fading traces of his cologne from the cotton, and my nipples tighten. The hallway floor creaks, and my skin runs with goosebumps. The bedroom door opens, and a duffel bag hits the floor, followed by a sigh.
His shadowed figure approaches the bed and climbs on top, still clothed. The mattress sinks down next to me. He pulls his pillow out of my arms and fills the space himself.
Teeth nip at my earlobe. “Kids are asleep?”
I nod and bury my face in his neck, taking a deep breath of his skin, his cologne. His skin tastes of dried sweat. After a day and a half living in an airport, he could use a shower, but I don’t mind at all.
A rough, calloused hand slides down my belly, straight into my panties, and I moan into his shoulder.
"God, you’re so wet,” he says, cupping me and sliding his fingers inside. My cheeks run hot. “Miss me?”
I grin against his hair while he works kisses down my chest. “A little.”
His palm rubs against me while his fingers work deeper, stretching me. My thighs fall open, he laps at my nipple, then latches onto it with tongue and teeth, and I shout. I clap a hand over my mouth in surprise, and he chuckles and slides his fingers out of me.
“Don’t stop,” I plead, grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand lower.
Sheets stick to my lower back as I arch into him. Eager whimpers fall from my lips, and I pull his pillow onto my face as tension spools in my hips with every movement of his hand. I grip his head to my chest and draw a deep breath through cotton that smells of his cologne. The pressure breaks in waves, my body thrusting up to meet his touch which I clutch him to me, and the pillow muffles my hoarse moans.
He pulls the pillow away, and I suck in cold air. He kisses his way down my chest, over my waist, and takes the edge of my panties in his teeth. They snap back against my skin, and his fingers pull them down by the crotch, over my legs, and he flings them onto the floor. He kisses down the crease of my groin while my breathing evens out, then catches.
He bites down on my inner thigh, and I slap him on the back of the head. With a chuckle, he spreads my legs, then kneels between them. My eyes rove down his body.
“What’s that you’ve got there?” I ask, wiggling my hips a bit.
He smirks, one thumb resting on his belt buckle. “A souvenir.”
/end smut.
Is it perfect? Nah. Is it good enough? Yup.
Let’s overanalyze it now.
There are no words for genitalia in this snippet. None. Did it make a difference to you? If you’d have liked it better with those words, use those words. If you liked it without them, don’t.
There’s no setting description. We don’t know how big the room is, or what color the sheets are, or anything. If you would have liked to read them, include those kinds of details in your smut. If you feel like an in-depth description of the underwear would have taken you out of the moment, don’t write those kinds of details.
There are no sentiment/feeling words other than a bit of dialogue saying they missed each other. If you would have liked more internal monologue about that, then take note that you should include it in your writing.
Plot twist: It’s not his house, and they aren’t his kids. I’ll leave the sex/gender/orientation of the POV character up to you. Reread it with that in mind. What details would you add to the story? (Totally dm me about this.)
/end analysis
Questions from the Inbox:
“I have no sexual experience. Can I still write smut? Will it be obvious? Can I/should I skip all the genitals and just talk about emotions and facial expressions?”
Putting on my teacher hat for a sec. First off, sexual experience with yourself counts. Not everybody masturbates, but don’t discount solo experience. It is legitimate experience. If you do masturbate, you can proudly say you’ve sexually satisfied every person you’ve been with. 1/1=100%
Second, no, nobody will know you haven’t had sex with another person based on your writing. Some of the best smut I’ve ever read was from writers who aren’t and haven’t been sexually active. Some of the worst, most confusingly-written smut was from a real-life friend who fucks on the daily.
There is no relationship between the quality of someone’s smut and their doing of the deed. We write things we don’t do on a regular basis. See: Murder mysteries.
Can you focus on emotions and facial expressions? Sure. You can crawl inside your POV character’s head and only describe what that person is feeling. Have them turn the lights off and don’t worry about describing the scene in detail.
Or, make it realistic. Make their kiss terrible. Make them feel awkward. Make somebody not want to undress. Make one person come immediately and make the other person too shy. Simultaneous, earth-shattering orgasms are not the realistic culmination of the vast majority of sex acts in real life, and they don’t have to be in fiction, either.
“How do I know if I’m writing dub-con, non-con, or neither?”
Oooo, good question.
If one character says “No”, “Stop”, or if the character is in a situation that makes them unable to say those words, and the other character ignores it, you are writing non-consensual sex.
If both characters are enthusiastic, willing, and most would agree, sober and of age, you have consensual sex.
Dub-con is dicier. If a character is grudgingly consenting. If a character wants to consent but is ashamed to admit it. Or a character is consenting because there would be consequences to objecting, but they decide the sex is better than objecting. Or, most would agree, a character is consenting, but not sober. Those are dub-con territories. You have some elements of consent, but not all.
Drunk/high/magic pheromone-related sex can fit into any category, depending on the specific situation. For some scenarios, it’s more helpful to tag the dynamics than worry about the categorization of the consent.
Good question. Did I write an academic paper on sexual consent and Alzheimer’s/dementia patients? I sure did. Could I write a whole separate Tumblr post on the gray areas of consent? I sure could. But I'm writing a consensual non-consent thing, instead.
That's all for now! If you have questions, leave them here. Happy writing!