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You are walking down a street. It is a normal street with nothing outlandish about it. It is probably a street you have walked multiple times before. One that you would recognize even during a hurricane. It has light poles, as many common streets have, it has houses and cars parked in their garages. It is a normal street.
It is Halloween, you think. There are tons of children in the streets and a lot of decorations in the frontdoors of houses, it can only be Halloween. You don’t remember going trick or treating. You don’t remember putting on a costume and you are in fact using your normal clothes. You are drawing attention to yourself specifically because you didn’t intend to. There are people looking at you, you think. You walk faster.
You have walked down this street numerous times, but you don’t know where you’re going. You hope it will lead you somewhere, but you don’t know for sure. It is night time and the light poles do very little to the darkness that is pressing and seems to get closer the more you walk. No one else seems bothered by it and you don’t want to stop a stranger to ask. You look down to the floor and pretend as if this is normal. You walk faster.
At some point the street emptied out. Maybe the people from the area where you are entering right now don't like doing the Halloween traditions, maybe they don’t have children, maybe you’re imagining things. You keep walking, as you intend to get somewhere and to do so it is expected of you to use your feet.
You don’t know where you’re going, but you are going. You look around for a sign to tell you where you are and you notice for the first time that you are alone. There is no one watching you. You are alone.
The darkness no longer seems pressing and you no longer feel the rush to get somewhere. Your eyes are drawn to a house at the end of the block. You have arrived at your destination.
You don’t know why you are going there. You don’t know how you got here. You don’t know where all the people went. You don’t know this street. You have never been on this street before. You don’t know who you are. You know that you are here, you can feel the asphalt under your shoes, you can feel the cold wind hitting your back and you can smell that nice scent of pumpkin spice and cinnamon that seem to infestate this season. You know that you are alive, you can hear yourself breathe and you can feel your heartbeat. You know that you’re drawn to that house, your feet move without you thinking anything.
The house looks like a normal house. It has walls, it has a ceiling and it has a door. You think that there were probably some windows, but they now have been barricaded by some wood planks. The grass in the front lawn is dead or dying, you can’t be sure in this light. There is a sign that has been taped to the door, but you can’t read it from where you stand so you walk closer. There is a plastic chair on the porch, one of those colorful ones that you take to the beach. It has a bowl on top of it, inside it you can see a bunch of packages of m&m’s. You grab one and realize that they are all empty and the m&m’s were probably already eaten.
Once on the porch you can actually read the sign. It says:
“T N’ T abandoned ‘haunted’ house tour.”
You frown. It is not written correctly, but you get the overall message. It is a haunted house and “T” is giving a tour. That is probably why you’re here. You sigh with relief of not having to wonder anymore. Everything is back to normal, you know this street and you know this house and you’re about to meet the people giving the tour.
You knock, but no one answers at first. You knock again. You knock a third time. You look around for a doorbell, but you only find the hole where there once was a doorbell. You knock a fourth time and start to wonder if this was a good idea, but you came all the way over from… where you live, so you might as well finish this.
You’re about to knock another time when the door opens. You look around trying to see who exactly opened it for you, but there isn’t anyone there. You’re not very worried. There are a lot of smart locks nowadays that can open with the owner being far away. You walk in.
The corridor you find yourself in is disgusting, to say the least. There’s definetly mold growing in the walls, the wallpaper is all ripped off and you don’t know what the fuck is going on in the ceiling. But the only way is through, so you make an effort.
It seems to take an eternity in that corridor, the more you walk the longer it seems to stretch in front of you and the smaller it seems to get. You keep walking, but you’re starting to feel sick. You keep walking, even though your skin crawls and the hair in the back of your neck rises. The corridor looks like a throat, you think, and now you can’t unsee it. It is swallowing you. Swallowing you whole. Soon you will reach the stomach and will be melted by the acids. You're food in this house.
Finally, you make it out.
Enter the living room. It is very much a better place than the corridor. It is big and open and less mouldy, it has five plastic chairs and a painting of a man with the head of a crow eating children, while fire and pigs run in the background. It is very Halloweeny, you think. There are no wallpapers in this wall, but there are cracks and you can see some of the bricks. You still think it is better than the corridor.
You look around and note that the windows are in fact sealed off with planks from the outside, you also note that there are two doors next to you, but you don’t give it any attention. The only light source is three lanterns on the floor.
When you look back to the chairs you see three boys sitting in them. They were not there before.
-Welcome, boys! -One of them says.
-And girls and nonbinary pals! -The other completes.
You’re not sure whether or not they’re talking to you, but you smile anyway.
One of them is blond and is wearing a blue jacket. He is dressed as a vampire for Halloween with big fangs, red contacts and blood everywhere. One of them is a brunette, wearing a colorful hoodie and a hat. He is dressed as Frankenstein's monster with green make up, fake stitches and white contacts. One of them is… you can’t tell. He is dressed as a ghost, you think, a huge black and white sheet was thrown over him and glasses were placed where the eyes should be. They look friendly and a little dirty.
-Welcome to our haunted house! My name is Tommy and these are my friends.
-Tubbo! -The Frankenstein boy cheers up.
The other one doesn’t respond at first so Tubbo, who is sitting next to him, pokes lightly at his side.
-Oh! Erm… Uh… I’m Ranboo. -He says and laughs awkwardly.
You nod in understanding. You’re also awkward sometimes, you think. You’re not exactly sure what your personality is like, but if you could guess you probably would’ve said you had one, at some point.
Tommy gets up from his chair and walks up to you. He is tall, you think, he is also not very aware of personal space. He is close enough that you realize that he is not wearing contacts, his eyes are simply like that. He also has blood on his face (it is not his) and blood on his hands (also not his) and blood on his mouth (also not his). You want to step away, but you don’t want to seem rude so you just lean a little bit.
-So big man, you think you can handle some spooks?
He is also British with a more northern accent. You don’t know why that is relevant, everyone has an accent, even yourself. You try to remember where your accent is from, but you don’t remember ever speaking. You frown a little at that, but are brought back by Ranboo.
-Spooks. -He says and snorts.
-How would you say it, bitch?
-Do you like horror?
There was a pause there, so you think he is actually asking you the question rather than just answering Tommy. You shrug in response. You have no idea of what you like.
-I’m gonna have to side with the bossman this time, Tommy.
-Oh, for fucks sake.
-Spooks sounds like something an old man would say.
-I’m not an old man!
-Yeah, you're a child. -Ranboo says.
-Oh, fuck off.
Tubbo giggled and you think he may have tried to fist bump Ranboo, but all he actually did was push his fist lightly where the boy’s shoulder would’ve been. Tommy walks around you a little bit.
-Do I look like a child to you, big man?
You’re not sure why he is calling you that, but you’re not about to question the child. You nod negatively. He seems to like that. He grins triumphantly at the other boys, giving you a front row seat to watch his fangs. You’re ninety percent sure he is an actual vampire at this point, but you don’t want to assume anything or, even worse, out him to his friends. You will keep that information to yourself.
Tubbo smiles coily, which makes you think the whole thing was just a little bit of friendly banter that you got caught in the middle. Ranboo makes a movement with his head that makes you think he might’ve rolled his eyes, but you don’t see any bite in that. The ghost boy is actually quite expressive, to your surprise.
The Frankenstein boy gets up from his chair and is followed by the other one, although you wouldn’t say he ‘got up’ as much as you’d say he ‘slid out.’ Tommy seems very excited. He talks loudly about how he likes haunted houses and other “Halloween shit.” You think it’s endearing and a little bit annoying, but you don’t want to interrupt his “groove.” Not that you think you could, at this point you’re pretty sure you can’t speak.
This is nice, you think, you’re learning more about yourself.
-Ok, so I was thinking we start with the attic and move down? -Ranboo ask.
-Sounds like a plan.
Tommy nods at Ranboo and let’s him lead the way. Behind Ranboo walks Tubbo, who seems to find the flight of stairs fairly easy to climb and behind you is Tommy who you’re pretty sure isn’t actually walking. You glance back and you realize that his shoes are touching the floor, he is simply not making any noise.
The stairs, much like the corridor, take forever. Every time you look up it doesn’t seem as if you have moved at all. After a while you start to get tired, but you don't want to make them stop because you couldn’t handle walking up some stairs. You don’t remember being this sedentary, but you also don’t remember being anything at all. Fortunately, Tommy stops before you do and sits down on the floor.
The blond boy is sweating and looks tired also, but he isn’t hyperventilating. You stare at his chest and it does not move at all. You look back at his face and he is looking at you.
-Damn, boss man. I didn’t know you were this weak! -Tubbo says.
-Shut up, Tubbo! I’m not weak!
-Yeah, Tubbo he isn’t weak! He just skipped every single leg day!
-Fuck you, bitch!
The other two giggle again, you think they just might like to annoy the other boy. Tommy isn’t looking at you anymore, but he is hiding a smile. You look at Ranboo, he is still just a guy under a sheet with glasses on to you. You look at Tubbo, you’re close enough you can see his neck where one of the fake stitches were. You keep looking at Tubbo. He says something you don’t really pay attention to, but when his neck moves and you can see the meat underneath it. You realize now, Tommy isn’t the only creature in this house.
You want to ask Tubbo if the stitches itch, they look like they do, but you don’t want to seem insensitive. You also want to ask if all those parts were actually his or someone else's. You also want to ask how he died and ask Tommy the same thing. They seem like nice kids and too young to have gone through that, but you aren’t rude so you won’t ask.
You look at Ranboo again as he resumes to climb up the stairs. Is he a ghost? You wonder. At the end of his sheets you catch sight of something. It is an eye. It is watching you. You can’t stop making eye contact with it. You see teeth go past and what you can only assume are tentacles. He is definitely not a ghost. The eye blinks at you and goes back inside. You can’t shake the feeling of being watched.
Finally, you all get to the end of the stairs and Ranboo opens a door for you. You think you should thank him for it, but you realize he didn't open it with his hands and maybe it is better not to bring any attention to it. Tubbo walks in first, his steps are heavy and bold. The floor makes noises, as if it is going to break with his weight, but he doesn't seem to notice.
-What are you waiting for? Get in.
You step inside the room, you can feel the wood bend underneath your weight. You take every step carefully. Ranboo does not step at all, he just slides in. Tommy doesn't touch the floor, he floats above it slightly.
You point at his feet, because you're not sure if you can or cannot speak and maybe it is not the best time to attempt it for the first time.
-Tommy, you're floating. -Tubbo says.
-Are you jealous, bee boy?
-No, I have the brain of a nuclear physicist.
You are pretty sure he means it, but Ranboo starts floating too.
-Ha! Only us kings can float!
-It is King behavior. -Ranboo agrees.
You're pretty sure you've never heard of floating kings before, but they obviously have more understanding of the subject than you do so you don't disagree. Tubbo sticks his tongue out, it is green. You're pretty sure tongues aren't meant to be green.
-Well, this is the attic. -Tommy says.
You all stay a whole minute silent in the attic. There aren't a lot of things to see. Sure there is blood everywhere and a bit of guts in a corner and you're pretty sure that's a severed hand sticking from under the wood planks, but surely this is pretty normal for an attic. Tommy looks around as if looking for something to say, Tubbo scratches the back of his neck, Ranboo just stands there emanating slightly purple energy.
-Do you like the attic, bitch boy?
You imagine that he is talking to you, after all you MIGHT be a boy. You aren't sure WHAT you are, but you are here so you might as well answer. You nod yes.
-Great! -Ranboo says and claps his hands.
He has hands to clap apparently, but you can't see that from under the sheets.
-I think we should go. -Tubbo intervens.
You agree and everyone leaves. As you step back in the corridor you start hearing noises, like banging in the walls and loud stepping. At some point you start hearing even louder screams. You look at your guides in panic, but they are calm. Ranboo notices your distress and pokes Tubbo.
-Oh? Don't worry boss man, that's just Billzo.
The screams keep getting louder and weter.
-He is a bit loud, but so is Tommy.
-Hey!
You're pretty sure whoever is screaming is now choking in their own blood.
-He didn't lie, Tommy. You are loud.
-No, I'm not! You're all just fucking sensitive.
The screams turn into gargling.
Ranboo turns to you as if to whisper, but says it loudly enough for the others to hear.
-He is an only child, that's why he is an ass.
You don't know whether you're an only child or not. You have some scars that would indicate a younger sibling, but it could just as easily be from a pet. The results are inconclusive.
-Fuck you!
The others laugh and keep walking. The sounds doesn't stop, but you guess that, if this Billzo character is having fun, then it is not of your concern. You notice that the stairs have doors now, most of them have giant scratch marks on them making it seem as if someone tried to claw their way in.
-Oh, that was Badlinu.
You startle. You didn't realize Tommy was watching you or anywhere near you, he is very quiet for such a loud boy. He stands just a few centimeters away from you, close enough for you to smell the scent of "recently deceased" off him.
-He was having a bad week. -He smiles at the little pun and you smile too.
He leans away and Tubbo jumps in the conversation.
-Yeah, it was very fun! We had to barricade the doors to stop him from eating our bones.
-Have you ever had your bones chewed on while it's still inside you? -Ranboo ask.
You nods negatively.
-It is quite the experience.
You don't doubt it.
Once you all made it back to the living room, they moved to show you the kitchen. The sounds that Billzo was making turned into just loud stepping, as if he was cartoonishly angry, and some vague objects breaking.
-This is the kitchen, it is where we keep the blood, organs and post-lovecraftian ritualistic books.
You nod a bit unsure, but it seems like things you'd want to keep in your kitchen. Tommy opens the fridge.
-Up here are the sacks of blood. All O negative, of course I'm no uncivilized AB consumer. Down here are Tubbo's replacement organs.
-I get that from the local cemetery. Gotta protect local business.
You nod in agreement. It is very self-aware of him to want to help local business. He one day might be the monster boy of the month, if there is such thing.
-Here in the middle we keep glasses for Billzo to break when they're feeling like it. And up in the freezer we have Badlinu's meat as well as Ranboos spell books.
-They are not spell books.
-Whatever.
You feel Ranboo roll his eyes as would feel sea air.
-Uh, where do we go next?
-We can't go to the upstairs rooms or Billzo and Fred-I mean, Badlinu are gonna be upset.
-Can't go to the bathrooms. -Tommy interject.
Ranboo leans over to you.
-He has bad memories in bathrooms.
-Shut up.
-I guess the next stop is the basement, then.
Tubbo placed a hand on your shoulder, it was cold and a little damp.
-This is gonna be fun.
It wasn't.
The only way to the basement was through a very small window to the outside, so all of you had to get out of the house and go around. Once outside you realized that the vaguely recognizable neighbourhood you were in before had turned into void. Literal void. Lack of existence. No matter which side you looked at there was nothing there, just darkness. You wonder if the feeling you had of the darkness chasing after you was a real thing.
You hear Billzo scream again and you're filled with comfort knowing that, at least one person (if that is what he is), is just as uncomfortable as you are. The boys guide you to the back of the house and you are faced with what could only be explained as a UFO.
Yes, they have a UFO in their backyard. It looks very cozy actually.
-That's our neighbor.
-Don't go there, he's a bitch.
There is a sign in what you assume to be a door . It says "Try a trick and wind up dead." You believe it.
The window you have to go through looks like it might give you tetanus, but Tubbo is so excited about it that you feel like commenting that would kill the mood. Maybe literally. He goes in first, then Ranboo bullies Tommy into going second, after that is your turn.
The feeling of slipping through a window in a haunted house is fairly the same as falling into the abyss of an elevator well, both suck and are not your fault. Eventually you get to the other side and slide off to the floor pretty easily. Inside Tommy looks at you as if he is traumatized, while Tubbo looks to be having fun.
The room is being lit by a dangling light bulb, the reason why you couldn't simply enter the basement through the house becomes obvious once you realize that the staircase caved in and turned into a pile of wood planks, the walls are white and cracking. Ranboo stands on a corner, you don't remember seeing him fall in and you don't know how you will get out.
You look back at the other boys. Tommy has three arms for some reason, two of them blueish, bruised and covered in blood, the third one is translucent and smaller. Oh, look! It's giving Tommy some devil horns!
You giggle and the others frown, Tubbo turns around and starts laughing too. Tommy is completely unaware of the disembodied arm as it follows him when he turns around.
-What are you laughing at?
-Don't tell him, don't tell him! -Ranboo asks you.
-What? What is it?
-Nothing, bossman.
-I don't know what you are talking about.
Tommy turns in circles viciously, but the arm stays in its place. At some point the disembodied arm detaches from him, probably bored, and starts floating around on its own.
-Aimsey! -Tommy yells. -It was you! How could you?
The arm waves and turns into a girl. An actual ghost this time.
-Sorry, Tommy, but someone gotta entertain our guests.
-I am perfectly entertaining by myself!
He put his feet in the ground as a child having a tantrum, but you're pretty sure he is only joking. Regardless, the entire house shakes slightly.
-You would be nothing without us. -Tubbo says with a smug smile.
-Yeah! You'd be nothing without your better looking best friends.
Tommy gives a fake offended gasp and the boys are thrown back into a bantering episode. While that happens Aimsey floats closer to you. She is shorter than the others, you can't be sure because she is always off the ground. She smiles and you think she is nice, just as friendly as the others and slightly less covered in blood and mud.
-They do that a lot.
You nod, you have been made aware of it.
-By the way, my name is Aimsey. What is yours?
You shrug and she gives you a sad smile. They pat the top of your head and say:
-Don't worry, you will figure it out.
-Ok. What do you think of the basement? Do you like it? -Tubbo asks.
You nod yes and Aimsey grins.
-Oh, please. They're obviously just lying to you. -Tommy says and then turns to you. -It is ok, king. You can tell her that her house sucks.
-Shut up! -She yells and punches his shoulder.
To your surprise the punch actually connects and Tommy winces in pain. The others laugh and you're inclined to do the same, especially because of the quirk in Tommy's face that makes you think he is holding back laughter of his own.
-Well, boys, this was fun. -Ranboo says first. -But it's time for us to go.
You're confused. What does he mean by us?
-Oh, no! Already? -Aimsey asks. -I just now made my appearance!
-That's on you for being stupid, you could've appeared any time.
-Shut up, Tommy. -All the other three say at the same time.
-Jesus Christ.
-It is the law.
-Who created such stupid law again?
-God.
-I wanna fight god. -Tubbo says.
Everyone stops to look at him, he doesn't react to their looks so they keep talking.
-Well, you can do that somewhere else because we gotta go.
They are going. Where are they going? Are they coming back? Will it ever be the same if they do? Are you ever have a night like this again? You don't know and for the first time today you hate not knowing.
-It is ok, bossman. -Tubbo says. -It’s how it's supposed to go down.
-As an old friend said once "It was never meant to be." -Tommy says.
That sounds important, like something you would recognize, but you don't. It means nothing to you.
-God, this is so corny. -Aimsey says as they wipe tears of blood from her eyes.
-This is fine. -Tubbo says. -At least you will remember our time together.
-Well… -Ranboo says. -They might not.
-What? How is this fair?
-It isn’t supposed to be fair, king. It is just life.
-It's ok anyway. We'll be fine and so will you.
You're not fine, this isn't fair. You want to stay longer and forever. You want your time with them to last eternity, but this is not how this works. Stories end and the end is clawing closer, as is the darkness that will come with it.
-It is time. -Ranboo says.
Billzo yells for the last time.
-Well, I guess this is the end of the tour, bossman.
-Hope you had fun, king.
-Welp, goodbye.
They all smile at you and you smile back. Ranboo pulls out the sheet and you're faced with his face. It is indescribable, like trying to explain color or trying see atoms or like trying to commute with eldritch gods. Suddently you're faced with everything and nothing. You want to look away, but you can't look away and you can't stay. He claps.
You are walking down a street. It is a normal street with nothing outlandish about it. It is probably a street you have never walked on before. One that you would never recognize. It is a normal street. It is a normal street and down the block there isn't a house filled with supernatural beings and weird corridors. It is a normal street and you know who you are. It is a normal street and you will never remember.
Darkness is near and this is goodbye.