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“Um...I’m not so sure you want to go in there,” Adrien said.
He’d just walked Marinette back to her and Alya’s hotel room. Nino and Alya had disappeared once dinner ended, claiming they wanted to sneak in a quick walk before bed. Knowing they probably wanted to spend that time alone, Marinette and Adrien had stayed behind to have dessert. Which was fine. It wasn’t like they didn’t enjoy each other’s company. And sometimes it was nice, just to have a moment for the two of them.
Even if a part of Marinette died a little, knowing that everyone else in the dimly lit restaurant definitely thought they were a couple. They acted like a couple. But as much as Marinette might wish otherwise, even after everything they’d been through, they were still just friends.
Alya and Nino, on the other hand...
“What do you—” Marinette followed Adrien's gaze to the sock hanging on the door knob “—Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Seriously?”
Adrien laughed. “Did you expect anything less from them?”
Marinette let out a huff. “I mean, they could have at least been honest about it. We could have stayed downstairs and had another drink or something, instead of waiting around awkwardly in the hallway. And it’s not like we didn’t tell them we would have been fine sharing a room for this trip.”
“Right…” Adrien scratched the back of his neck. He seemed a little stiff, but Marinette brushed that off. She wasn’t done ranting, yet.
“But Alya was all, ‘Oh no, this is your vacation too, we don’t want to make things awkward.’ Which doesn’t even sound like her. Alya loves meddling in these kinds of things, and now here we are—”
“Marine—”
“—right where we would have been anyway. And really? A sock on the door? This is a hotel, for God’s sake. Not a dorm room. They could have just texted us”
Adrien nodded along to her words, but the gleam in his eyes told Marinette he was mostly just humouring her. She crossed her arms across her chest. Stupid, smug cat. Although what he even had to be smug about, Marinette had no idea.
She sighed. “Do you think we should wait out here, or…”
“Huh. Honestly...not really. They’ll probably be a while.”
“Yeah,” she grumbled. “You’re right.” She’d seen the way they’d been eyeing at each other at the restaurant.
Normally, she wouldn’t mind so much, but she was tired.
When the four of them initially decided to go on vacation together, it had seemed like a brilliant way to relax. A few weeks in Italy, siping wine and drowning in pasta? Some well-deserved rest for the semi-retired superheroes? Perfection.
It had taken far too long to recover the Butterfly Miraculous from Lila, who’d somehow snatched it right out from under the heroes a few years back. At the time, they’d been a little preoccupied by the revelation of Shadow Moth’s identity, and they’d all been through hell since then. They deserved this.
And, of course, Marinette was having a wonderful time, all things considered.
But she hadn’t factored in how much walking was involved in a trip like this. Sure, they were all in good shape, but would it kill Adrien to splurge on a cab once in a while? Gabriel’s money should at least provide them with that much, after everything the man had put them through.
But no, Adrien adored wandering around by foot. He loved to experience the places they went though, even when that meant pushing his way through crowds of sticky tourists or having a permanent knot in his shoulders from the weight of carrying around a backpack for miles. He wanted to partake in the mundane things he hadn’t been able to, growing up.
Marinette would be lying if she said she didn’t love seeing him like that. If she pretended she hadn’t enjoyed him leading her though the paths of Venice in the pouring rain, treating it like some kind of maze underneath the moonlight. If she claimed that his awe upon walking through the ruins of the Roman Forum hadn’t been contagious. If she pretended she hadn’t been thoroughly entertained by listening to him spout terrible Shakespearean English as they wandered the streets of Verona. He did all of that while reaching for her hand, or resting a chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her waist, or just watching her, sometimes, with a smile she tried very hard not to read into.
She loved that he wanted to experience this with her, but all the mixed signals were driving her heart wild, leaving her with a nice sprinkle of emotional exhaustion on top of everything else.
He also seemed to forget, caught up in his excitement like a kid at Disneyland for the first time, that her legs were a lots shorter than his. So, she’d really been looking forward to just collapsing on her bed and passing out cold tonight. And if she couldn’t do that here…
“Let’s just go to your room,” she said, at the exact same time Adrien blurted out, “Let’s go for a walk.”
She couldn’t help the way her face scrunched up at his answer. “No. My feet will fall off if I use them anymore.” She closed her eyes and slumped stubbornly back against the wall beside her door. “Marinette’s asleep right now. She’s not taking another step.”
She was being petulant, she knew that. But he’d put up with worse from her, and vice versa.
He snickered. “My mistake, m’lady.” Her heart fluttered—he didn’t use that nickname nearly as often as she’d like, these days. His shoulder brushed hers as he leaned against the wall beside her. “I wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but if that’s what you want…”
There was absolutely no time for her to react to the sneaky tone she heard creep into the end of his sentence. She felt him push off the wall, then one of his hands snuck around her waist, while the other looped under her leg. Her eyes flew open as he effortlessly scooped her into a princess carry.
“Adrien!” she shrieked, trying to sound mad. She failed miserably through her laughter. Over his shoulder, she caught sight of an old couple at the end of the hallway, glaring in their direction, which only made her laugh harder. “Put me down!”
“Nonsense. You said you couldn’t take another step. What kind of monster would I be if I made you walk?”
She gave up protesting, giggling as she cuddled into his shoulder. After all, there was pretty much no place she’d rather be than in his arms.
They faced a bit of a dilemma when they reached the room, since Adrien couldn’t figure out how to grab his room key.
Marinette smirked. “Guess you’ll have to put me down now.”
She should have known better than to underestimate his dedication to the task at hand. “Oh no I dont. You can just grab it for me. It’s in my back pocket.”
“I can’t even reach—“ She broke off as he flipped her up and tossed her—gently—over his shoulder, so that she hung by the waist, secured by his hands on her hips. “Adrien, what the hell?!”
“What’s wrong? Now you can reach.”
“Now I’m upside-down, and I’m going to have to kill you when you put me down.”
“Mmhm. While I don’t doubt that you could do that, I’m not too worried.”
“Seriously, I’m looking up how to dispose of a body when we get inside.”
“If you would just grab the key and stop arguing about it, we would be inside already.”
In a show of extreme maturity, and despite the fact he couldn’t even see, Marinette stuck her tongue out at him. Then she turned to the task at hand...sort of. Was it just the blood rushing to her head, or did Adrien’s butt look particularly good from this angle? She tried her best not to think about it.
“You’d better not drop me,” she warned.
“Marinette.” His tone was more serious, now. “Have I ever let you fall?”
“No.” Of course he hadn’t. And that thought—of how much she trusted him—totally wasn’t making her insides turn to mush or anything. Her heart was only beating so fast because she was upside down.
She fretted for a second before reaching for the wallet. She didn’t want to accidentally grope his ass. The last thing she wanted was to accidentally make him feel uncomfortable. But despite how tight his jeans were, it was actually easy to slip out his wallet.
Damn men and their damn jeans with their damn luxury pockets.
“Got it.”
She passed it up to him, and…oh what use was there in lying to herself? She stared at his butt while he unlocked the door and carried her inside.
She let out another squeal—not like she hadn’t already lost all her dignity in the last few minutes—as he slid her off his shoulder and plopped her onto his bed.
He flicked the switch on the lamp beside the bed, and sank down onto the mattress beside her, grinning widely. “The princess is delivered, safe and sound.”
“I hate you.”
His eyes crinkled softly, and this time she couldn’t blame her heart rate on lightheadedness.
“No you don’t,” he said.
No. She very much didn’t.
“Whatever,” she mumbled, focusing on taking off her shoes instead of acknowledging the feelings she’d been holding in for years.
There had just...never been a good time to tell him. Before the reveal, she’d been too scared. Which was probably for the best—they hadn’t been ready. The reveal itself had come after Shadow Moth had been unveiled and defeated, and with all the turmoil in Adrien’s life at the time, confessing had been the furthest thing from her mind. Even when things had gotten better, they’d been too busy dealing with Lila, and there had just never been a good time. And now…
Now, she wasn’t even sure if he still felt that way about her.
He was the person one who could walk into a room and always make her feel better. The person who could glance in her direction and instantly make her feel safe. Who could pull her from her deepest spirals and always make her feel seen.
It was the kind of connection that didn’t feel real. The kind that was a deep pang in her gut, which was both never enough and more than she could handle all at once. The kind that had her smiling when she begged her face to do the opposite.
What kind of idiot would she be to risk that?
So no, she hadn’t told him how she felt.
But as she sat down on the bed beside him, leaning back against the pillows and feeling his arm come to rest around her shoulders, there was something she couldn’t let go of. A slowly chugging train of thought that quickly gathered steam.
“What did you mean earlier, when you said you said you weren’t sure if this was a good idea?”
“What?” His arm tensed around her shoulders.
“I suggested we should go to your room, and you said...you didn’t know if it was a good idea.”
“Oh.” His voice was taut. “It’s nothing.”
She thought back to his behaviour earlier, which she’d pushed aside at the time. When she’d said they could have just shared a room together this entire trip. He’d seemed...uncomfortable.
“It’s not nothing, clearly. Not if you won’t even tell me.”
“Marinette, can you please just drop it?”
“But...you didn’t want to share a room with me?”
Silence stretched between them, and that was all the answer she needed, really. She didn’t understand, though. They’d shared a room before. Hell, they’d shared a bed before. For weeks, after Gabriel had been unveiled as Shadow Moth, Adrien had only really been able to sleep if she’d been nearby. They still slept over at each other’s places all the time, and even on this trip he’d been as physically affectionate with her as always. What was she missing?
“I did want to,” he said. But his voice was too quiet. His reply too late. She tried pull away, but the fingers that rested near the top of her shoulder dug into her skin, begging her to stay. And Marinette found herself unwilling to fight against that. “I want you here,” he whispered. “I promise.”
She hesitated for only a moment before she turned and curled into Adrien’s side. Her knees twisted into his lap, and her arm wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly. As if that could make whatever words they said next remain safely bound between them. As if that could keep her fears from reaching in and tearing them apart.
His chin came to rest on top of her head, bone jutting into her skull sharply like the sudden uncertainty that pierced her heart. An awkward silence fell between them, until Marinette couldn’t take it anymore.
“I can’t just let it go,” she said. “What did you mean?”
He exhaled loudly. “I just...nevermind.” He sounded so...sad. And that was the final nail in the coffin. Marinette had to know what he was thinking.
She pulled away, although it was almost physically painful to do so. She needed to look him in the eyes for this. Her resolve lasted for about a millisecond—a millisecond where she caught the glint of the soft lamplight illuminating his dilated pupils—before she looked away. She couldn’t handle seeing all the turmoil tumbling around inside of her reflected in his gaze.
She’d pushed too far. She’d shattered something between them. Some mutual agreement she hadn’t even realized they’d had until now.
But the damage was done. Her inclination to run away before she could make things worse grew stronger with every pounding heartbeat. But fear kept her rooted to the bed.
Fear, and...some kind of resignation. Because they couldn’t keep doing this. She could see his profile from the corner of her eye. His face was angled stubbornly down towards his hands.
“Adrien,” she whispered. “You’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s going on.”
“You don’t want to hear it,” he said.
“I promise you, I do.”
She forced herself to look back at him. That mistake—because seeing the way his eyes had hardened definitely meant it was a mistake—sent a chill through her.
“You don’t,” he repeated, choking out the syllables. “You’ve heard it before. You’ve made it clear enough. And I’m not fourteen anymore. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I know when to back off.” His eyes squeezed shut.
“Adrien.” She could feel her voice shake. Where had the levity from the hallway gone? How had she lost that feeling of being on top of the world? “I don’t understand.”
Marinette wasn’t sure who possessed her limbs to move after that. It certainly wasn’t her who reached forward and laid a hand on his cheek, but her fingers landed there all the same. His eyes flew open and locked on hers again. His next words seemed to burst free without his permission.
“I never got over you. And I know that’s not fair. You told me years ago that I had to move on, and I swear, Marinette, I tried. But I got over one side of you just to fall for the other side of you, only to learn that there never were two separate sides of you, just two ways of looking at the same beautiful picture. And once I put those together…once I saw all of you? I knew there was no going back. I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t know how not to be.
“And the thought of sharing a hotel room with you for weeks? Staying in some of the most romantic places in Europe together, when I knew you didn’t feel the same way? That was too much for me, okay? So I told Alya and Nino that I didn’t want to share with you. Because I can’t stop loving you. I can’t.”
Marinette was speechless for a moment. Her hand slipped from his face, because she didn’t have the strength to hold it there. How the hell was she supposed to follow that up? But the vulnerability leaking from his eyes urged her on, forced words from her mouth the same way her touch has done for him.
“It’s not fair.”
He looked down, blinking rapidly. “I know. I told y—“”
“No, that’s not what I…” She grabbed one of his hands in hers and squeezed. “It’s not fair that you can just say all that. So beautifully. So perfectly. It’s not fair. Not when I’ve been trying to figure out how to say those words for just as long.” She lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, the same way he done all the time when they were still just kids trying to figure out the world.
Hell. They were still just kids trying to figure out the world.
His eyes shot back up to hers, wide and hopeful.
“I love you too,” she said. “Since we were thirteen and you gave your umbrella to a girl who’d misjudged you, without a second thought. Since we were sixteen and we locked eyes on patrol one day, and suddenly I realized I couldn’t deny it anymore. That everything just made sense when you looked at me.” Her throat was in knots. Tears burned her eyes. She continued on in a broken whisper. “Since we were eighteen and your world was falling apart and you still wanted to know it I was okay. I...I never got over you either, Chaton.”
His hand was limp in hers. All of him seemed limp, really, no doubt stuck the same way she was. Suspended in disbelief, like trying to swim through molasses. Sweet, with the bitter tinge of all the times they’d missed out on.
And the way he was looking at her?
It was ridiculous. Ridiculous, because his twinkling green eyes regarded her as though she was the one who was holding him up and making him feel safe. And that was backwards, didn’t he know that?
She wasn’t sure who moved first, because two magnets sharing the same force would always move in synchronicity. There was no separating one body from the other, no way to uncouple their accelerations.
His grabbed her waist and tugged her to him as she tossed leg overtop of him, straddling his lap. She shivered with pleasure as his fingers trailed up the side of her torso and steadied themselves on her shoulders. He paused there, his thumbs brushing her collarbones as he just looked at her again. She wrapped her fingers around his wrists and tugged his hands up, so that they cradled her cheeks.
His thumbs swept across her cheeks. He titled his head slightly and leaned forward. Marinette stayed frozen in place. He stopped when she could feel his breath warm her lips. His eyes bore into hers, a silent question in them. In lieu of answering with words, she closed the distance.
The moment their lips met she lost her grasp on reality. She couldn’t tell up from down or right from wrong. All she knew was the feeling of his hands gliding back down to her waist. His breath hot on her skin. His teeth nipping at her lower lip.
The kisses were hard. All the tension from years of bottling everything up flooded out from the vessel that had once held them, the vessel that was now smashed to smithereens. The two of them searched for a rhythm to their moments the same way Marinette searched for breath.
It was messy. Their teeth clacked together and their tongues kept crashing into one another instead of moving in sync. Marinette let out a tiny yelp as her fingers were squished between Adrien’s head and the headboard.
Then they broke for air—or she did at least. She arched her back as his lips trailed down her neck. His hands travelled to her lower back, pulling her in even closer. His hair tickled her cheek, sending pleasant tingles through her body, spurring the adrenaline coursing through her veins. His lips started inching their way back up to hers, but she wanted more.
She slid off of his lap, grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down on top of her as she fell back onto the mattress, their feet where their heads should have been. His weight almost crushed her for a second, before he managed to brace his arms around her and wedge a knee between her legs. Then his lips were back on hers.
Slower this time. Softer. Her heartbeat eased to match the pace, its energy dissipating in shockwaves over her skin. These kisses knew that they wouldn’t be the last. That their bond wouldn’t break. That they didn’t need to say everything at once, however much they might want to.
“I love you,” Adrien panted against her lips, his words barely discernible. Her arms roamed his back, travelling up to his shoulders. She pulled him closer by the back of his neck. She probably needed to breathe again soon, if only because passing out would mean the kissing would end, and that could not happen under any circumstances.
Annoyingly, the Universe must have had a vested interest in her ability to consume oxygen, because seconds later they were interrupted by the sound of the door knob turning.
They broke the kiss; Adrien pushed himself off of her and sat back on his heels, and she scrambled up to a sitting position, pushing back the hair that had fallen into her face. They started at each other in alarm for a half-second before the newcomer caught the corner of her eye. Marinette turned in time to see Nino’s mouth drop open.
He just stood there for a moment, blinking at them. Then he smirked. “See, this is why we used the sock, guys.”
“Nino,” Adrien hissed. “Please, leave.”
Marinette glanced at Adrien, and had to suppress a giggle at the sight of him. She’d never seen him look so undone. His shirt was crumpled in places where she’d balled it into fists trying to tug him closer. His hair stuck up in randomly angled tufts. His eyes were wild, his breathing still labored. His lips were cherry red and slightly swollen, and they almost seemed to be twitching, as if subconsciously looking for hers.
He looked positively disheveled, and she’d done that to him.
Oh, she liked that she’d done that to him.
“Fine, fine, fine.” Nino threw up his hands. “But next time, please use a damn sock, because I do not want to know what I would have walked into if I’d shown up ten minutes later.”
“Ni-no. Get. Out.” Adrien looked like he wanted to throw something at his best friend, and Marinette couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore as Nino started making his way out of the room. She was bent over in belly laughs by the time the door clicked shut. She topped over to lie on the bed again, her feet kicking against the pillows as she lay on her side, giggling. Adrien joined her a breath later, pressing their foreheads together. He caught the look in her eyes, and then he was laughing too.
He managed to calm down first, and slung an arm around her waist, pulling her in close again, while she continued to shake with laughter. Because this was too good to be true. This was all she’d ever wanted. This was what she’d been afraid of for years and it both did and didn’t live up to her expectations. But now everything was out in the open, and at the end of the day it was perfect, because Adrien was still looking at her like that.
Eventually, her laugher was swallowed by his lips.