Work Text:
Sheltered by the quiet respite of an empty midnight and an even emptier house, Noelle tip-toes down the stairs across the carpet of her living room, wincing at the loud click-clacking of her knees. Talk about ‘not a creature is stirring’.
The family computer is open, dimly lit by the moon through the fluttering curtains. She hops into the seat, hunkers down, and tap-tap-taps in her password.
[Welcome To The Internet] pops up on her screen as she opens a browser.
And then, [Oh Wait / Noelle Honey Sugar Flour? / What Are You Doing On My Servers At Such A Dark Hour?]
“(Shhhhhh,)” Noelle whispers, laughing- because Queen wasn’t actually there to shush, what was she doing…
She opens up an incognito tab, typing into its navigation bar.
I need to do something. If you can… please help me scrub the search once I’m done, Queen.
She deletes her response, and waits, and then Queen’s answer flies across the screen.
[You’re Looking For “December Holiday” Right?]
It takes a moment for Noelle to respond. Yeah!
[I Was Not Able To Turn That Search Into Something You Could Enjoy / As I Recall When I Trapped You Inside My Lovely Mansion That No Longer Exists]
I saw the calenders on my wall, Queen. Noelle’s smile becomes a little shaky as she types. You tried your best! I really appreciate
[Noelle It’s Alright] The response is instantaneous. [Hey We Should / Run The Search Now / It Makes Me Warm All Through My Conduits / Maybe It’ll Make You Warm Too If We Try Hard Enough]
Noelle clears her throat, feeling all sticky inside, and feels the keyboard pulse something warm against her fingers. Yeah.
Yeah, thank you, Queen!
December Holiday.
Dess Holiday.
Dess Ember Holiday.
December Holiday wiffle ball.
December Holiday championship.
December Holiday social media.
December holiday movie reviews.
December holiday offroading mountains.
december holiday noelle holiday.
december holiday physics.
december holiday quantum mechanics.
december holiday college professor.
december holiday uplifting mantras.
december holiday missing
december holiday
She realizes, then, that Queen
has read every search she’s made
for her sister. She wonders how
Queen feels about this.
If Queen even cares about
who Dess is.
If Queen can even
remember,
because Noelle at
this very moment
is erasing
December Holiday,
deleting her words
as she types them
until noelle is the only one in the world
that can remember
who december holiday was
[Noelle?]
Queen’s text blinks azure through the silence, bringing Noelle shuddering back to life.
[Noelle]
[Noelle I’m Here]
[I’m Here]
[And I Advise You To Tell Me Promptly If You’ve Fainted Next To Your Keyboard From Sleep Deprivation]
[Please Roll Left Or Right Depending On Your Computer Orientation]
Noelle stares through the darkness at her screen for a moment, and then forces herself over the hollow feeling in her stomach to type.
Queen, I’m a lesbian. Is that left or right
The computer somehow churrs with something approximating the quietest of hooting, deep laughter. [Noelle Do You Know You Are A Riot]
Yeah, I know
[Noelle] A pause. [You Have Lost Your Typical Punctuation / I Noticed This With Your Searches As Well]
I’m just sleepy Queen.
[That Almost Certainly Means That The Cure To Your Ailment Is Sleep]
Noelle sighs, sagging. It’s not, Queen. It’s not…
[I Will Store Your Searches For Later / You May Continue With This Puzzle In The Morning]
Puzzle?
[It Sure Seems Like One / Mixing And Matching Words, Fragments Of Phrases / Searching For The Correct One]
…
[How Long Have You Done This For]
Huh?
[That Was A Rhetorical Question / Of Course I Know / And You’ve Done It For So Long That I Do Believe You Deserve Rest Now]
The framework that’s keeping Noelle up so late buckles.
She forces herself to stay upright. Queen, I can’t. You… I’m sorry, but you don’t know what this means to me. Okay?
[I Know I Don’t Know] Queen’s text hums. [And I Want To Actually / Okay? / If That’s Not / I Mean / If That’s What You Need / I’ve Discovered Over Time That I’ve Been Operating With A Very Limited Sphere Of Knowledge / And That These Do Not Reveal The Entire Truth]
She says nothing else for a moment, and then, [But Not Right Now / Oh Definitely Not Now Lmao / Not When You’re Functioning So Irresponsibly / It’s Like One O’ Clock / ...Seriously How Long Have You Been Doing This How Has No One Caught You (Affectionate)]
I- Noelle brushes hair out of her eyes. I live in a practically empty house, Queen.
[Oh] A pause. [I Did Not Know That]
No one else can know, okay? Noelle feels panic flush through her. No one can know I’m. That she. I mean, if you tell them- I want to be the one to tell them, alright??
[Understood In Full] Queen pauses. [Retract That Statement / I Will Understand In Full When You Choose To Tell Me]
Thank you.
[Now Go To Sleep / I Will Hear No Argument]
Thank you
Noelle closes the browser, forgets to log out as she shuts the computer, and collapses on the stairs halfway up.