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They had just gotten back to the station when TK felt it.
Owen, ever the noble man, had thrown himself headfirst into danger by walking into an already burning bus to pull out a trapped victim. It was great for the poor trapped victim, but not so positive for TK’s blood pressure.
It wouldn’t be so bad if this didn’t seem to be almost a hobby of his fathers. This was the third time in as many months that TK had wondered if he could have a heart attack from fear.
The team had just gotten out the truck when TK was overwhelmed by the pungent aroma of burning rubber. He grimaced at the strength of it. He spared his fellow paramedics a cursory glance, only to see that they were completely unaffected.
TK bit back a groan of annoyance.
“Hey, Nancy,” the woman looked up expectantly, “can you smell burning rubber?” She blinked, mouth twisting into a confused smile.
“Uhh, no? Should I be?” TK shook his head hurriedly. Normally when he had an aura he had about sixty seconds before the seizure started. He had been diagnosed with complex partial seizures when he was 23, shortly after he got back from rehab, a result of his addiction.
Whilst it wasn’t hugely uncommon to develop epilepsy after prolonged drug use, TK would argue that it was slightly unfair that people who had been addicts for far longer seemed to be unscathed. For a while, TK had wondered if it was some kind of cosmic punishment for any shitty thing he had done in his life.
Of course it wasn’t. It was just bad luck on his part.
TK managed it, for the most part. He was on carbamazepine and made sure to take good care of himself when he could. He usually only had an episode two or three times a year, and the only significant limit it had on his work was that he couldn’t drive.
“No, but I think I am about to have a seizure. Would you mind keeping an eye on me?” He spoke quickly, aware that there was a time limit on his ability to explain. Nancy and Tommy seemed shocked, but both nodded quickly and followed him to the couch.
The firefighters were already in their little living room, looking up with surprise as TK walked in briskly. Owen blinked in confusion for a few moments, before he quickly put down his tea and hurried to TK’s side.
“Seizure?” TK nodded.
“Aura started about 20 seconds ago, please don’t let me do anything embarrassing.” Owen nodded sincerely, pushing Judd out the way to make space for TK to sit down. He would apologise later.
“Seizure? What's going on?” Marjan asked urgently, eyes bright with alarm.
“I’m epileptic, sometimes they happen. I might start walking around, or making noises, it shouldn’t be anything too bad just don’t let me walk into traffic.” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood. It didn’t work.
The arid smell of burning was thoroughly unpleasant, leaving a peculiar taste on his tongue. He licked his lips uselessly, hoping to ease the flavour. His stomach felt like it was doing a flip, the same thrill he would get when he was on a roller coaster.
He could hear the others talking around him, but it was blocked out by his heartbeat. The waiting was the worst part, TK found. He never remembered the seizure, but the anticipation sometimes felt like torture. He just wanted it to be over.
Then, it was.
TK felt like he had woken up from a nightmare, jumping and looking around in confusion. He felt like he was thinking through a thick fog, swallowing a few times to get rid of the taste of metal. A cup of water was pushed into his hands, and he drank it willingly.
Quickly, the unpleasant sensations passed, and TK was able to take in his surroundings. He was by the coffee maker now, with Owen and Tommy hovering beside him anxiously.
“Back with us?” Owen asked gently, hand stopping just shy of TK’s arm. Apparently when he seized, he could be like a petulant child and would seem annoyed being touched. Whilst the idea was almost amusing, TK was glad to have his boundaries respected.
“I think so.” He rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up properly. He would be a bit out of it for the rest of the day, and sometimes he would have quite drastic mood swings, but that wasn’t entirely unusual.
TK had been diagnosed with BPD in his early 20’s, and when what he felt was given a name things seemed to slip into place. It wasn’t easy, and it's not like having a name for it made things easier, but at least he could explain it.
“Did I do anything?’ He asked tiredly. Sometimes, a few weeks after it happened TK was able to laugh at his actions. One time, his friends had to force him to remain clothed in a public park.
“No, you just walked around a little. I think you wanted to get a coffee.” TK hummed, taking another sip of his water.
“Is everything OK?” Judd asked nervously from his place by the sofa. The whole team looked quite nervous, and were he not so tired TK would have laughed at their expressions.
“Yes, I’m fine now thank you.” He replied.
“You’re epileptic?” Paul asked, gripping his phone tightly. Bless him, he was probably googling seizures so that he could help when it was over.
“Yeah. It doesn’t happen often, though. I can do my job.” TK explained. He couldn’t help being a little defensive, there had been plenty of people who believed otherwise.
“You’re sure? How often does this happen? Why didn’t you tell us? Has this happened before?” Judd started bombarding him with questions, and TK let out an exhausted sigh.
“I’m tired, I would rather not get into it right now. But, if you must know, it happens very rarely, I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t find it important, it has happened before but only once at work, and yes I am sure. It’s no different from working with anything that could distract you for a little while.” He gave Judd a pointed look.
The Texan backed down very quickly.
“I don’t doubt it kid, I just want you to be safe.” TK felt his frustration melt away like snow. Judd had been through a lot, he reminded himself. It was natural that he would be worried.
“I know. I might have to take the afternoon off if I’m too out of it, but I don’t think it’s gonna be too bad today. I might be a bit irritable though.”
“Oh, well that’s nothing new.” Nancy joked lightheartedly. TK gave her a mock glare.
“Are you discriminating against me because of my BPD?” He teased back. Nancy had admit to him her struggles with ADHD growing up, and TK found that he didn’t mind having a joke with her about it.
“BPD?” Mateo questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What’s BPD?”
“Borderline personality disorder. It’s a mood disorder.” Marjan explained, giving TK a nod of understanding. TK didn’t talk about it much, but he felt comfortable with his team knowing. Mateo’s eyes widened.
“Does epilepsy cause BPD?” He asked innocently, and TK couldn’t help sniggering.
“No doofus, BPD is something you’re born with.” Marjan gave him a gentle mock punch on the shoulder. Mateo was incredibly intelligent, but general knowledge wasn’t his speciality, TK noted.
“The epilepsy was from drugs.” TK explained, keeping his voice firm to signify that he didn’t want to be asked more questions. Thankfully everyone caught on quickly, and returned to what they were doing beforehand.
“Go take a nap son.” Owen ordered, in that way only parents can. With a salute, TK made his way upstairs, deciding that telling his father off for putting his life at risk could wait for later.