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“Hey,” Kazuki says, after a little while. “Let’s sit.”
Enta glances over at him, not slowing his pace. “Huh?”
Kazuki nods up ahead. “Over there. Let’s take a break.”
He means the bench a few meters away, its back to the river, right up against the railing. Enta frowns, a little confused, but nods anyway. “Alright.”
He slows his jog as they approach the bench, coming to an easy stop in front of it. Beside him Kazuki does the same. They take a moment to catch their breath, then sit down together, Kazuki on Enta’s left.
It’s a quiet, gray afternoon, and they’re out on a run. Soccer will be starting up again soon, and they need to be ready—especially Kazuki, Enta thinks, who is slightly out of practice after quitting before.
Enta folds his hands in his lap and turns to Kazuki. “Something on your mind?” he asks cheerily.
Kazuki gives him a small smile. “Yeah.” He leans easily back against the bench. “I want to know what you were going to tell me.”
The world tilts. Enta shivers. “W-what?” he stammers, silently thankful his cheeks will already be red from running—no sudden change to give anything away. “Tell you when?”
Kazuki’s smile fades. “You know. Before you… got hurt.” He looks down at his lap, his hands twitching slightly. “Before we had that fight.” His voice is somber, almost ashamed.
“I’m not really sure.” The lie comes far too easily, and Enta feels the usual pain at it. “I don’t remember anymore.”
“Stop.”
Enta blinks, startled. Kazuki’s staring right at him, his gaze determined. His tone has gone suddenly hard.
“Stop what?” Enta says almost automatically.
“Stop hiding yourself!” Kazuki exclaims. “Enta!” Now there’s a note of concern in there. “Don’t lie to me. Please.” His eyes are wide, genuine. “Whatever it was is important to you. You can’t pretend it’s not, not when we yelled at each other over it.” His gaze falters again. “And I hit you.”
“It’s okay.” Enta means it. “It’s in the past.”
Kazuki nods. “I know. But I’m still sorry.” He blinks, as if to clear his head. “But then you… you saved me. And I didn’t get to find out what you were so upset about in the first place.” He locks his eyes with Enta’s. “So I want to know. You wouldn’t let me throw myself away for you, in the Otter lair. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself, either.” His voice is firm, but kind. “Please tell me what was bothering you.”
Enta closes his eyes. “It’s silly.”
“I don’t care.”
“It’s stupid.”
“No,” Kazuki says. “It’s not.”
Enta looks at him. “I don’t want… to make you unhappy with me. It’s not fair to you.”
“Neither was stealing the Dishes of Hope,” Kazuki says, a small laugh ringing through the words. There’s no bitterness in his expression, only light. “But we patched things up after that, didn’t we?”
His smile is so golden. Enta stares at it, stares at the way Kazuki’s eyes nearly close when he’s happy. This is what he fought to get back. He doesn’t want to risk losing it again. If he pushes too far, he could destroy everything.
But he’s learned, from the Sarazanmai. From Tōi. From Kazuki. He knows that if he hides and pretends, he won’t be truly helping anyone. Like Kazuki, he knows that placing others’ comfort above his own isn’t selfless—it’s cowardly, and it’s selfish. It means he doesn’t trust them. It means he’s not truly their friend.
Enta takes a deep breath. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Enta.” Kazuki reaches out—and takes his hand. He places it between them on the bench, still holding on. “You’re my best friend. My golden partner. It’s okay.”
The world freezes in place as Enta opens his mouth.
“I like you.”
A second ticks by.
Kazuki doesn’t seem fazed at all. He smiles again. “I like you too.”
No. Shit. “No,” Enta tries. “I mean—I like you. Kazuki.” He stumbles across the finish line. “I have a crush on you. I think I always have.”
Another second unfolds.
“Okay.” Kazuki is still smiling.
Enta snatches back his hand, unable to take it anymore. “What? What do you mean, okay?”
Kazuki gives another small laugh, and the sound is impossibly perfect. “I mean… I’m okay with that? What did you expect me to say?”
“W-we’re friends!” Enta says, no longer certain what he’s trying to accomplish. “We’re just friends! A-and we’re both boys…!” He turns away, facing back towards the sidewalk, trying to keep his voice from rising any higher than it already has. “I thought you’d be uncomfortable.”
“Well, I’m not.” Somehow, Kazuki’s voice is still calm. He almost sounds happy, but Enta knows that can’t be right. “I think it makes sense. We’re the golden duo, Enta! I don’t think it’s weird that you’d feel strongly about me.”
“I guess.” Enta still doesn’t look back at him. “So that’s why I… ruined our spot. That’s why I was so mad.” He forces himself to keep going. “I was jealous. Because you cared so much about Tōi. I felt—it was really silly, and petty—I felt like I wasn’t as important to you anymore.”
“Of course you’re important to me,” Kazuki says softly. “I’d never… replace you with Tōi, or whatever you were afraid of. We’re all friends. Just because he was here didn’t mean you mattered less.” He takes in a breath. “I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t care about you.”
“No.” Enta clenches one hand in his lap. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. That’s not… that’s not what’s going on here! I was being shitty to you, and to Tōi, because of something I was making up in my head.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he might see Kazuki nod. “Maybe,” his friend says. “But I’m still sorry if you felt bad. Even if it wasn’t a rational feeling.”
“Thanks,” Enta says quietly.
He doesn’t know what else he should add. He didn’t think Kazuki would be so… relaxed about it. He doesn’t have more to explain, and he didn’t plan for what to do next. He didn’t plan for anything! He wasn’t going to tell Kazuki about this—at least not so soon.
Maybe he should just suggest they get back to running, like nothing happened. That seems to be what Kazuki wants, to treat things like they’re normal.
“So what do you want to do next?” Kazuki asks.
“Hm?” Enta blinks, startled back out of his thoughts. “What do I want to do?”
“Yeah, like, do you want to go on a date?”
Enta fucking chokes. “WHAT?” he gasps, his head spinning back to face Kazuki.
“That’s what couples do.” Kazuki is smiling. Somehow, he is smiling.
“I—” Enta can’t compute whatever is happening. “Kazuki, we’re not… a couple?”
“Are you sure?” Kazuki blinks at him amicably. “We’re already the golden duo. We’re pretty close to one!”
Enta stares at him, confusion and terror and hope flying through his mind. “I don’t understand. You didn’t say… that you liked me back, the way I like you.”
Kazuki does his perfect small laugh again. “I didn’t say I didn’t, either.”
Enta feels the world spin as he gazes at Kazuki’s creased eyes.
Kazuki opens them wide again, and stares seriously back at him. “I’m willing to try it, Enta.”
“Really?” Enta breathes, knowing he’s not in a fantasy but still not sure how anything can be real. “To try… being a couple?”
“Yeah.” Kazuki smiles. “I don’t know how I feel. But you’re my best friend in the whole world. There’s no one like you, Enta. I think that counts for something. So I’m willing to see what things are like if we go farther.”
Wordlessly Enta holds out his hand.
Kazuki takes it.
“I like this,” Enta whispers.
Kazuki moves closer on the bench. “Me too.”
Enta lets the words out again. “I like you, Kazuki.”
“I like you, Enta.”
A moment passes, then: “Do you want to kiss?”
Enta shakes his head. The surreal feeling has left him. Kazuki’s hand in his feels right, and he’s certain, for the first time all day, what he should say. “No. Not yet. We should take our time.”
Kazuki tilts his head to the side. “Please don’t tell me you feel bad about the other time, when you—”
“I don’t!” Enta says hastily. “I mean, I do, but that’s not why—”
“I told you back then, Enta,” Kazuki laughs, “I didn’t mind it.”
Enta laughs back, feeling the tension slowly dissipate in his chest. “I know. I just want to make sure.” He looks back at Kazuki again. “I’m not scared, I promise. I just know we should take things slowly at first.”
“That makes sense.” Kazuki gazes back out at the street, then squeezes Enta’s hand a little. Enta feels himself squirm inside. “So…”
“Let’s go back to running.” Enta grins. “We’ve been lazy, sitting here this whole time.”
Kazuki laughs one last time, as they get up and stretch. “Yeah. You should’ve confessed to me in the middle of a game.”