Chapter Text
prologue
Hyunwoo had a lot of doubts, even after he debuted in Monsta X. Am I a good dancer? I don’t think my voice sounds good. I am not funny enough to be on variety shows. Another member would be a better leader than I am. Do I even deserve to debut? The list goes on and on and on. It’s like his mind is his own enemy. But even then, Hyunwoo tries his best every day because this is his dream and he doesn’t want to disappoint everyone who believes in him. Especially that person. His person.
Hyunwoo had a lot of doubts but he is sure of one thing, he loves Minhyuk.
He can’t even trace when it started, or how. Maybe it’s the little things. Maybe it’s the way Minhyuk would always have a smile for everyone. Maybe it’s his never-ending energy that can probably light up the whole world (in an alternate world, maybe he did). Maybe it’s the way Minhyuk would put an arm over his shoulder, not even minding that their bodies touch ( Hyunwoo does mind. A lot). Maybe it’s his face. Minhyuk’s face is very attractive to the point where Hyunwoo thinks it’s sculpted by the gods. Not that he would admit that openly. Or maybe…
... maybe it’s the way Minhyuk is the total opposite of him. Like yin and yang. And because they’re very different, everything that Minhyuk is fills up everything Hyunwoo lacks. Two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. Two sides of a coin that makes up a whole. That is why whenever he has a hard time, even when Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything… Minhyuk would be there.
Like that time when the management announced who the leader would be. Hyunwoo felt so much burden and pressure but he tried to act calm just so the members wouldn’t be worried. He studied other groups’ leaders, focused on what he can and cannot do, and practiced his responsibilites ( like their introduction, song meanings, etc. ). Despite that, the pressure never lessened.
One night, he got so overwhelmed that he avoided dinner. “I need to practice more,” is what he said. The members nodded and focused on their meal again. “Hyunwoo hyung, we’ll leave a meal for you at the table. Just in case you get hungry later,” Kihyun adds. After saying thank you, he stayed in his room (the one that he’s sharing with Hyungwon and Hoseok) and just stared at the wall blankly. He was so focused on nothing that he didn’t even notice that Minhyuk knocked and came inside.
“Hyung?” Minhyuk said softly, barely a whisper, as he sat down on his bed.
Hyunwoo got startled when he felt the bed dip. He was ready to shout when he saw Minhyuk beside him. “I thought there’s a ghost,” Hyunwoo said. “Not that I’m afraid of them!”, he adds. And Minhyuk laughs. I love his laugh, Hyunwoo thought. He noticed his heart is still beating too rapidly for his own good. He tried convincing himself that it’s because he was surprised, not because of the beautiful member that is sitting right in front of him.
“Do you need something, Min?” Hyunwoo attempted to hide the worry and fatigue in his voice. He doesn’t want to add more burden to his members. Minhyuk regarded him for a while, his head cocked to the side. One minute passed with only silence. Hyunwoo started to get awkward and he can feel his cheeks getting warmer and warmer. With the realization that he loves Minhyuk, he sometimes gets flustered whenever they’re left alone. “Min, what’s––”, Hyunwoo said to break the silence but Minhyuk spoke at the same time. “I’m okay. But you’re not, Hyung.”.
What? How? What? Hyunwoo slowly blinks, as slow as how his mind was processing what he heard. It can’t be. I thought I hid it well, he thought. Before he could even deny what he heard, Minhyuk said, “Hyung, I know you. Contrary to what other people think, you are quite easy to read. At least for me.”. Hyunwoo opened and closed his mouth a few times, like a fish breathing underwater. He doesn’t know what to say.
“Hyung, it’s okay. You don’t have to try so hard and hide your feelings. I’m here. You can let it out when you’re with me.”, Minhyuk added. “If you want to talk, I’m here to listen. But don’t feel like you need to talk when you’re with me. We can just sit here and do our own stuff. I won’t leave you alone.”. After that, Minhyuk changed his position and sat beside Hyunwoo, shoulders touching and backs against the wall. Hyunwoo didn’t even try to respond. Not that he could if he tried. Beside him, Minhyuk got his phone out and was scrolling through it, already done with the conversation. Hyunwoo bit back a smile. He knew what Minhyuk was doing because although he made an effort to hide his feelings, he actually needed to let them out. Oh, he thought. Belatedly realizing what he needed, he can’t help but look at Minhyuk again. Minhyuk knew. Even before I did. A number of thoughts were going through his head but there’s one thing he found himself saying out loud.
“Thank you, Minhyuk.”.
“Anytime, Hyung,” Minhyuk replied, smiling widely. It's like the sun itself is lighting up his room.
Being near the sun isn’t as bad as people say it to be,
is what Hyunwoo thought as he smiled back.