Chapter Text
One thing Jeon Wonwoo was not going to miss about leaving Hogwarts this year was his boyfriend’s pet Niffler.
“Down,” Wonwoo repeated irritably, crossing his legs and gently nudging Mango back onto the floor with his sock-clad foot. He felt bad for the light shove he’d given the Niffler as he watched it topple onto its back onto the frieze carpet and pout up at him, but it’d been pestering him endlessly and he’d reached the end of his patience. And Wonwoo knew deep down that the mischievous thing wasn’t even hurt; it was just acting for his attention. “Down, Mango, come on. I’ve got to write this paper, alright? He’ll be back soon and you’ll have someone to play with then.”
The Niffler keened miserably, and Wonwoo sighed, pulling out the small vial of shiny beads he carried for this frequent babysitting job and extracting a singular one, tossing it somewhere onto the rug so Mango would leave him alone. As expected, the sparkle of the bead as it flew through the air was enough to send Mango dashing after it excitedly, leaving Wonwoo gazing fondly after the puppy-like animal that so resembled its owner, both in clinginess and energy.
Wonwoo returned his attention to the parchment spread out in front of him, snuggling deeper into the cushioned armchair he’d taken occupation of for the last few hours, one next to an icy cold window so he could look outside at the snow swirling down onto the panes. Winter had come fast to Hogwarts this year, and the Ravenclaw common room’s arched glass windows provided a beautiful view of the snow-covered grounds.
There was one week of term left, and Wonwoo could definitely feel the stress weighing down on him. As a seventh year, he was already tasked with preparation for the NEWTs taking place in second term, and he was also weighing his options for what he wanted to do after school as well. It was a lot of pressure, but he was focusing on just getting through this last week before term ended and they were free for a few weeks of holiday party-ing.
Wonwoo heard scuffling by the bottom of his chair and glanced down, exasperated to find Mango scratching at the armchair, demanding his attention again.
“What?” Wonwoo sighed, relenting and scooting over in the seat. He was quite accustomed to this, seeing as he’d spent many times over this last year tangled in this armchair with Mango’s owner, and if the chair could fit both of them it should be enough for Wonwoo and the hyperactive Niffler.
Said hyperactive Niffler leaped up onto the seat next to him, sniffling around for anything sparkly before nestling its snout in Wonwoo’s hand and dropping the shiny bead back into his palm, beaming up at him seconds after.
“Good,” Wonwoo said tightly, Vanishing the slobber around the bead and putting it back into its vial. “Now let me work.”
The Niffler whined softly, dropping its head into Wonwoo’s lap and looking up at him instead, restless.
“You miss him, huh?” Wonwoo laughed, gently stroking through the Niffler’s soft fur. “I know. I miss him too, but his ego’s too big for me to tell him that I get lonely the few hours he goes down to to the village every day.”
Mango lost interest in his words, instead pawing at the tiny flyer Wonwoo had hidden between the pages of his textbook.
“You’re curious about this?” Wonwoo asked the Niffler, pulling it out so the animal could take a look. “This…” Wonwoo huffed a laugh. “It’s nothing. Just a flyer about the Healer Academy. You know. They want us to start thinking about what we’re doing after Hogwarts. I had my Career Consultation last week, and this is just something I picked up.” Wonwoo lightly petted Mango again, shoving the leaflet back into the book. “Nothing serious.”
The Niffler stared up at him with pleading, betrayed eyes; just like its owner would if he found out what Wonwoo was considering to do after he finished school.
“It’s a serious commitment, Mister Jeon,” Professor Flitwick said. “The Healer academy would take up nearly three or four years of your time after you graduate from Hogwarts.”
Wonwoo nodded, solemn as he eyed the information packet his Head of House had given him at the start of their Career Consultation meeting. “I know.”
“You would be quite busy. Holidays and visitation would be limited, and your contact with friends, family, loved ones- it will be very little. From letters I’ve received, past students of mine that went on to the Healer Academy described it as rigorous and demanding.”
“I’ll accept your judgement if you believe I couldn’t do it, sir,” Wonwoo said genuinely. “I know it’s challenging but Healing is something that’s always appealed to me.”
Professor Flitwick looked surprised. “Persuade you not to do it? That’s certainly not my intention, dear boy. You’re one of my strongest students, and a perfect example of responsibility, hard work, and determination. I can certainly put your name down for the Academy Entrance Exam if you wish. It’ll take place the summer after your graduation, but I want to warn you of the toll it will take on your social life. Medicine is, just as in the Muggle world, a strong commitment and it can be taxing on an individual and their relationships with others outside the Healing world.”
A single name was in Wonwoo’s mind, but he pushed it away.
Professor Flitwick gazed at him, watching patiently.
The office was very, very quiet.
Wonwoo knew that his Head knew about the person Wonwoo was thinking about- they hadn’t tried to make their relationship private, and the teachers knew everything the students did.
“I know it’s a big choice to make. Perhaps if you’d like to talk this decision over with Mr. Kim-” Professor Flitwick started gently.
“I’d like to be registered for the Entrance Exam,” Wonwoo blurted out. “Are there any materials I’ll need?”
Professor Flitwick paused, then nodded slowly as he picked a sheet of parchment up and pulled his inkwell closer, dipping his quill and beginning to write. “Here’s a list of books and studying materials. They’ll prepare you for the exam.” As he slid it over the desk to Wonwoo, he added, “If you decide this might not be what you want, dear boy, just come around to my office and I’ll take you down from the list. There are many occupations out there, alright?”
“Thank you,” Wonwoo returned, taking the list and the Healer Academy flyer as he stood up.
He felt his cheeks burning with shame as he left the office, guilt burrowing in his heart, but he kept walking until he was ensconced in his room, and put the list somewhere safe, stuffing the flyer into a textbook for the time being.
“He wouldn’t understand,” Wonwoo found himself saying to the Niffler, whose head was cocked as he listened to Wonwoo rambling. “He’s… you know how he is. Three or four years would sound crazy to him.”
Mango barked in reply.
“Well, you’re not telling him anything. I’ve already made a copy of the flyer, too, so good luck shredding it up to dissuade me.”
A low snarl, and the Niffler turned its head away in irritation, the resemblance to its owner uncanny.
“You two spend too much time together,” Wonwoo laughed, more to convince himself that it was all going to be okay when he told his boyfriend about the important choice he’d been hiding from him for a week.
“Guess who’s back from work!” Mingyu yelled, bursting in through the door and clambering into the Ravenclaw common room.
Wonwoo jumped, but Mango was already off the armchair and running excitedly towards his dad, leaping all over him. Mingyu, dusted in snow yet grinning, dropped his bag and fell to the floor, happily wrestling with the overexcited small animal.
“I told you to knock, I’d let you in. The knocker’s been moody all day, and the riddles are super hard,” Wonwoo said rather loudly over the sound of the Niffler’s excited squeals and Mingyu’s cooing.
“Are you calling me dumb?” Mingyu mocked dramatically, grinning still as he sat up, Mango still attacking him happily. “For your information, the knocker’s super nice to me, because it still remembers last year when you brought me here for the first time and I solved the riddle before you.”
“Quit rubbing it in,” Wonwoo grinned, Mingyu crawling across the carpet to where Wonwoo was curled in his chair, getting up onto his knees only to half-fall onto Wonwoo’s body. “Tired, I see?”
“So very much,” Mingyu mumbled into Wonwoo’s chest. “Did you have a good time with Mango?”
Wonwoo eyed the Niffler, who was now tussling with a carpet fiber, with mild distaste. “I don’t know why you keep that thing.”
“At least you’re not dating Hyunjin. Then you’d have to babysit Pepero, and you know how much bowtruckles like clawing eyes out.”
“I’m so lucky,” Wonwoo said sarcastically, tenderly brushing snow out of Mingyu’s hair. “You forgot your scarf again?”
“Minghao’s busy studying, so I didn’t get the reminder to take it with me.”
“ I remind you.”
Mingyu glanced up at him, his pointy canines flashing as he smiled. “I know. But I like how you baby me after I forget.”
“One day I won’t even ask you.”
“I’ll wait for that day to come.” Mingyu slumped back onto the floor, resting his back on the chair and scooping Mango into his arms. He let his head fall back onto the chair’s seat, staring upside-down at Wonwoo. “What were you up to?”
“Just studying,” Wonwoo said, trying not to think about the leaflet hidden between the pages of his textbook.
Mingyu nodded, thankfully gullible. “I think you’re working too hard, Won. You’re going to do fine on the NEWTs.”
“I’ve got more to study for than the NEWTs, though,” Wonwoo answered, getting out of the chair and stepping around his boyfriend, gathering his things.
“Things like what?” Mingyu questioned.
“None of your business,” Wonwoo teased, lightly smacking Mingyu with the copy of the Evening Prophet that the latter had brought in with him. “Let’s go have dinner, it’s 7 but I’m starving.”
“Can I leave Mango in your room?”
“Absolutely not.”
“But Won, that means I’ve got to go to my tower and put him back!” Mingyu managed to slip the Niffler’s harness around its wriggling body, securing the leash.
“I love you, Gyu, but I do not love that animal. Remember what happened last time I let you keep him at my place?”
“It was one time,” Mingyu whined as they left the Ravenclaw dormitory, Mango bounding around their heels as they began making the long way to Gryffindor Tower. “He can’t help it.”
“My room was desecrated by the time we got back.”
“But we fixed it! It barely took a few minutes. Plus, he doesn’t mean it,” Mingyu nudged Wonwoo lightly, looking down at the pet with adoration. “Look at him! He could never do anything wrong.”
The Niffler chose that moment to squat and pee in the middle of the hallway.
“On second thought, I’ll meet you in the Great Hall,” Wonwoo said exasperatedly, grinning as he turned around and left Mingyu there with the tail-wagging happy animal and its little puddle.
***
“You won’t believe what I got,” Chan told them as he sat down opposite them at the Gryffindor table.
“Get what?” Mingyu asked, too busy loading food onto his plate. “Can it wait? I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving,” Wonwoo said affectionately, turning to the fifth year. “What are you talking about?”
Chan grinned, sliding an envelope across the table. “This. I haven’t opened it yet, but I assume it’s for all of us.”
“What’s for all of us?” Hansol questioned, having chosen that moment to arrive and slide into the seat next to Chan. “What are you doing at my table, Slytherin?” he teased, pinching his best friend’s arm.
“Oh, stop. Wonwoo’s here and he’s a Ravenclaw. Say something about that.”
Mingyu swallowed with great effort, glaring at Chan as he grabbed Wonwoo’s arm. “Won is my guest. And nobody really cares about who sits where anymore.”
Chan snickered. “Obviously. Otherwise I’d be with my Slytherin fam, duh.”
“What’s going on here?” Seungkwan asked upon arriving behind Hansol and Chan, evidently having spotted his best friends from far off upon entering the Great Hall. “Ooh, letter. Who’s it from?”
“Chan still hasn’t answered my question. Who’s all of us?” Hansol cut over Seungkwan.
Chan gestured. “You know, our little group. The ten of us.”
“Well, who is it from?” Mingyu asked, curiosity speared as his attention slid from his plate to the envelope in Wonwoo’s hands.
“Hold on,” Wonwoo said wearily, having caught sight of his three best friends making their way towards their cluster, dragging another familiar face along with them. “We’ve got more guests coming.”
Soonyoung, Jihoon, and Junhui arrived, Minghao in tow with the other Chinese boy.
“Saw you all congregating and wanted to join the fun,” Soonyoung beamed, ruffling Mingyu’s hair and giving Wonwoo a crushing hug as the new four sat down. “What’s this all about?”
Seungkwan tapped the letter in Wonwoo’s hands. “A secret admirer wants to talk to the ten of us, apparently.”
“ ‘To all da main hoes’ ,” Jihoon read off the receiver address, which was the part not obscured by Wonwoo’s hands. “Oh, god.”
“Only one person would say that,” Minghao said wearily.
“How did the owl find Chan, then?” Junhui asked curiously. “That’s not really a receiver address.”
Chan grimaced. “It’s not an owl. It was his personal courier plumed quail. The bird knows me, unfortunately.”
“Personal courier plumed quail…” Mingyu said slowly, still at a loss for what everyone else had understood. “Who on earth do we know that has one of those? They’re super expensive.”
“It came with the villa,” Wonwoo mumbled to him, and Mingyu’s eyes grew wide with realization.
“Can we open it? Aren’t we all here now?” Chan asked amusedly.
“Not all of us,” Hansol laughed, and they all turned to watch a confused lonely Seokmin stare over at their massed group from the Hufflepuff table. “Give him a minute, he’ll clue in.”
A few seconds later, Seokmin had joined them, still bewildered.
“Sit, guys, everyone sit down,” Wonwoo directed. “Try and make room, hurry up, teachers are looking.”
“We can really hear that Ravenclaw Head Boy authority,” Seungkwan joked as they all shoved themselves down onto the benches, huddled around Wonwoo and the letter.
“Ravenclaw Head Boys shouldn’t be sitting at Gryffindor tables,” Hansol sniped as well.
“Neither should Hufflepuff Head Boys,” Minghao snickered, nudging Junhui.
Junhui glared at his boyfriend. “Hufflepuff Head Boys are too pure to be dating Slytherin prefects, but here we are.”
“I’m the nicest person here,” Soonyoung said loudly over everyone. “I could’ve kept the Quidditch Captaincy for another year but I gave it to Mingyu because I’m just that amazing.” He blew the latter a kiss. “Love you too, Gyu.”
Mingyu made a face. “I didn’t ask for it yet. I was fine with you having it for your seventh year-”
“Accept my kindness,” Soonyoung demanded.
Wonwoo rolled his eyes, glancing down to the envelope, which was starting to smoke with urgency. “As much as I’d love to sit here and listen to you nine bicker, I think it wants us to open it.”
“I think it’s a Howler,” Seokmin said dubiously. “Vanish it, Wonwoo. Do it quick.”
“No, they send those in red envelopes,” Jihoon corrected.
“This lovely sender would mail a Howler in a regulation white envelope to fool us,” Chan said darkly.
Wonwoo already had a bad feeling about this. “Does someone else want to open it?”
“No, mister I’m-The-Most-Mature-And-Levelheaded-Here, you go right ahead,” Junhui grinned.
Wonwo sighed. Sometimes he wished Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua hadn’t graduated so quickly. Someone had to keep these people in line, and even though Wonwoo wasn’t the oldest in their friend group- Junhui and Soonyoung were a month older than him- he’d somehow taken over as the voice of reason (probably a good decision, because their one month of age didn’t help them much).
Mingyu flinched as sparks flew from the letter, clutching onto Wonwoo’s arm. “Won! Open it!”
Wonwoo gulped and reached for the flap of the envelope-
It burst open on its own.
“Shit,” Soonyoung muttered in the milliseconds of silence that followed, in which it seemed every head in the Hall turned to them. “It was a Howler.”
“AAAAATTENTION!” The Howler whooped, exploding off the table and curling itself up, hovering over them. “TO ALL DA MAIN-”
“Han, no!” A gentle, hurried voice cut into the message. “They’re going to open it in the Hall, you can’t use swear words!”
“SHUA SAYS HI.” Jeonghan shouted, cutting his boyfriend off.
“Han, maybe there’s a better way than to-”
“CHEOL, DON’T RUIN MY FUN!” A few seconds of blessed silence, in which Wonwoo, face burning, didn’t dare to make eye contact with anyone else at the table. “HOW DO YOU RESTART THE MESSAGE? OH, OKAY, IT’S STILL RUNNING. SHIT. OOPS! SORRY, PROFESSORS. I THINK OUR BOYS WILL BE SMARTER THAN TO OPEN THIS IN THE HALL, BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT TO GET PROFANE!”
Wonwoo groaned and buried his face in Mingyu’s shoulder, deciding he was going to hide here until this massive embarrassment was over.
“I WANTED TO SEND ANOTHER SNAKE SEX INVITATION BUT YOU GUYS MIGHT’VE IGNORED THAT. SO I DECIDED TO TAKE THINGS INTO MY OWN HANDS AND SEND A HOWLER TO YOU ALL. PLEASE DON’T HATE ME!”
“Silencio!” Wonwoo heard Jihoon hissing, and shook his head to himself, screwing up his eyes tighter. Those spells didn’t work on Howlers.
“REMEMBER HOW LAST YEAR I STARTED CRYING AT OUR CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY AND TOLD YOU ALL THAT I WAS GOING TO INVITE YOU TO MY VILLA NEXT YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS? WELL, IT’S YOUR LUCKY DAY BECAUSE I BOUGHT THE VILLA- WELL, YOU’D KNOW THAT IF YOU KEPT IN CONTACT! OR IF YOU LISTENED TO CHAN. I BET CHANNIE MISSES ME A LOT, RIGHT?”
“I’m going to cry,” Chan moaned, hiding his face in his hands. “This is the end of my social life.”
“ANYWAY, I BOUGHT THE VILLA AND I’M HAVING A CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA FOLLOWED BY A NEW YEAR’S FIESTA, WHICH ISN’T GOING TO BE EXTRAVAGANT OR FIESTA IF YOU GUYS DON’T SHOW. THERE WILL BE LOTS OF FOOD AND PARTYING AND MAYBE EVEN ALCOHOL BECAUSE WE WON’T BE AT SCHOOL SO THEY WON’T KNOW- OOPS, CHEOL AND SHUA ARE GLARING AT ME RIGHT NOW. OKAY SO NO ALCOHOL BUT EVERYTHING ELSE! I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS DIDN’T OPEN THIS IN THE HALL.”
“I’m no longer associated with you all,” Minghao whispered.
“Friendship means sticking with each other even in suffering,” Mingyu whispered back.
“This isn’t suffering,” Hansol mumbled. “This is the end of our reputations.”
“I’LL SEND A PRETTY INVITE LATER, JUST CONSIDER THIS A NOTICE THAT FROM THE END OF TERM TO THE START OF THE NEXT ONE I WILL OWN YOU GUYS. MAYBE WE’LL EVEN COME BY AND KIDNAP SOME OF YOU FOR EXTRA HOLIDAY CHEER. OOPS. SORRY AGAIN, PROFESSORS. ANYWAY THERE’S PLENTY OF SPACE IN THE VILLA FOR ALL THIRTEEN OF US SO NO WORRIES THERE. I EVEN MADE SURE TO CONVERT MOST OF THE ROOMS TO MASTER BEDROOMS FOR YOU HORNY SLUTS!”
“Let’s go flying after dinner,” Wonwoo whispered to Mingyu, who was grinning at the Howler like the idiot he was, Hansol and Soonyoung mirroring him. Gryffindors. “Except this time, let me fall off and die.”
“Horny sluts?” Seungkwan muttered, earning a dirty wink from Hansol. “Oh, stop it, you.”
“How rude,” Seokmin said sadly. “I’m kind of glad I’m single.”
“YOU ALL BETTER RSVP WHEN YOU GET THE REAL INVITES OR YOU’RE DEAD TO ME! LOTS OF LOVE, FROM JEONGHANNIE! AND CHEOL AND SHUA! OKAY, HOW DO I GET IT TO STOP-”
The Howler ended abruptly there, and fell limply back to the table, emitting puffs of green smoke as it crumpled into flames.
The Great Hall was pin-drop silent, and then a few students laughed awkwardly to break the tension.
“A message well received,” Professor Dumbledore announced from the teacher’s table, eyes sparkling as he looked over the embarrassed, hunched over ten boys at the Gryffindor Table.
“I’m disowning all of you,” Seungkwan said seriously, as the chatter slowly resumed, a few people throwing amused glances in their direction before turning back to their friends.
“So… what does that all mean?” Soonyoung said, the grin finally fading off his face.
“It means that the worst person ever to remember something he once said, remembered something he once said,” Jihoon said grimly.
“We are all doomed,” Seokmin finished theatrically. “And we’re going to be at Jeonghan’s villa all holiday season long.”
“Great,” Junhui said excitedly. Nobody missed the exasperated look Minghao threw in his boyfriend’s direction, the usual impatience bordered with a bitter tinge of irritability. They’d been like that lately.
Everyone had been a little like that lately with their lovers, just in their own small ways. The tension between Soonyoung and Jihoon these days was palpable. Minghao and Junhui quarrelled more often, and even Seungkwan and Hansol’s relationship was strained.
Even the two of them, Wonwoo mulled over. Mingyu was sweet and gentle, but not as much so when they were arguing. He supposed that was just one of those things you discovered about your significant other as your relationship progressed. Wonwoo was just thankful that he and Mingyu were better at communication and resolving arguments- better than most of their friends.
Then there was Seokmin, who’d just gotten his heart broken by some Ravenclaw he’d been going out with for a few months. This dumping had occurred a few weeks prior, and Wonwoo hadn’t seen his own boyfriend for much of the last month, Mingyu being so occupied with cheering Seokmin up, along with Minghao’s efforts. Wonwoo didn’t have the heart to tell Mingyu that it wasn’t working. Seokmin was still completely hung up on who they’d all started calling She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Chan was, at least, not in a relationship. This however, had led to him feeling generally out of place and sad- no matter how much he pretended he wasn’t. Wonwoo knew it couldn’t be easy for Chan, whose two best friends had been inseparable with each other since they’d officially started going out a few days after last Christmas. It wasn’t fun to be the third wheel, and Wonwoo was sure Chan was feeling the stress of it.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Mingyu broke into Wonwoo’s thoughts, and Wonwoo glanced up, blinking out of his trance, to find everyone already laughing and talking and helping themselves to dinner, the awkwardness following Jeonghan’s Howler erased from the air as everyone had relaxed back into familiarity.
“Nothing,” Wonwoo said, and once again felt that twinge of unease at the secret he still hadn’t told Mingyu about. Perhaps because he knew the resulting fall out was not something he wanted to go through this holiday. They’d nearly made it to a year as a couple, and Wonwoo at least wanted to celebrate their first anniversary before telling Mingyu that he was planning to devote the next four years of his life to a future that’d close himself off from most of his social life. “Just wondering what kind of decoration Jeonghan’s decided to put up this year.”
And Wonwoo thanked the heavens that his boyfriend was the most gullible person on earth as Mingyu burst into a smile and began eagerly describing his predictions.
***
The last day of classes.
Wonwoo awoke with a start, hearing excited knocking against his door.
“Mingyu,” Wonwoo groaned, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow. “Mingyu, I’ve still got half an hour until my alarm goes off!”
Mingyu burst in without invitation, clad in an ugly Christmas sweater and Santa hat, jumping onto the bed. Wonwoo closed his eyes again, opening them with a yelp when he felt something wet and warm rasping against his cheek.
“I brought Mango!” Mingyu said happily, as the equally cheerful- and festive, as it was dressed in a nasty red and green puppy sweater and holiday hat- Niffler began to lick Wonwoo all over.
“I’ve told you a thousand times not to bring that thing into my room.”
“Aw, but he’s been so good lately, hyung. I’ve even taught him some commands. Look at this. Mango, sit. Sit! Sit- no!” Mingyu leapt up, and Wonwoo looked over to find the Niffler resolutely clamped down on his glasses, which had been previously peacefully waiting for their owner upon the nightstand.
“Mango! You can’t have those. They’re Wonwoo hyung’s,” Mingyu requested politely, lightly shaking the Niffler in an attempt to get it to open its mouth. Wonwoo reached over and, without any apologies, wrenched the frames from the Niffler’s stubborn jaws.
“Fix them, they’re all bent,” Wonwoo yawned, handing the glasses to Mingyu and sliding out of bed, deciding it was futile to try to sleep again with two puppies romping around his dorm room.
“Fine. Reparo ,” Mingyu flourished his wand, returning the frames to Wonwoo. “Cut Mango some slack. He’s a year and a half. Still plenty of time to learn.” Mingyu cuddled the Niffler as he stretched out on Wonwoo’s bed, glancing around the space. “Where’s your trunk?”
“What do you mean?” Wonwoo edged the curtain aside with a finger, blinding white light streaming in through the tiny gap. “Oh, god, it snowed overnight.”
“We’re leaving tomorrow! You need your things packed!”
“That’s nearly a whole day to pack.” Wonwoo shrugged. “Besides, I was hoping you would help me.”
Mingyu grinned. “There it is.”
“You know I’m shit at packing. You can come over tonight and assist me.”
“By assist, I’m sure you mean ‘do the whole thing’.”
“Well then, who assisted you in your Charms essay last week? I think there’s an unpaid favor here.”
“You know I’d help you anyway,” Mingyu snickered. “Do you wanna match sweaters with me?” He held up a small wooly bundle that already looked ugly, nevermind that it was barely unfurled.
“I’d rather not, but what can I say,” Wonwoo sighed, accepting it as he headed into the bathroom. “Meet you in the Hall in ten. Early breakfast.”
***
The Great Hall, of course, went all out for the holiday season.
“This school’s budget is insane,” Wonwoo proclaimed, gaze sweeping over the pines stretching their way up to the ceiling, their generous bases bedecked with shimmering ornaments and what looked like clumped snow but Wonwoo knew was something else (Soonyoung had a sugar addiction). The air was warm and scented of cinnamon and peppermint, and the tables were laden with enough food for a Christmas dinner already- making Wonwoo rather sad that they were not spending the holiday at Hogwarts this year.
“Ooh- that’s new! Where d’you think they them from?” Mingyu questioned, looking up at the fluttering plump cherubs sweetly serenading them, floating against the harshly-white ceiling, dusting glittering snow down upon the students milling around the Hall as they sang.
“Where does Hogwarts get anything from?” Wonwoo answered, dragging Mingyu away as the latter tilted his head up to the ceiling and opened his mouth, clearly believing that the snow was anything but. “I don’t think it’s powdered sugar like last year.”
Mingyu coughed, pursing his lips in regret. “I don’t think so either.”
They arrived at the Hufflepuff table, where everyone seemed to have converged to cheer on Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Seungkwan in their performance with the school’s gospel choir to herald the last day of classes before the break began.
“We’ve got another letter,” Junhui said as Wonwoo sat down opposite him, Mingyu lightly budging Hansol aside to sit between him and Wonwoo.
“What?” Wonwoo asked mildly, slow to catch on.
“Guess who it’s from,” Chan added from Hansol’s other side, sliding it across the table.
Wonwoo only had to look at the elegant purple envelope and its gold-rimmed seal to answer that. “What does he want now? We all said we were coming. You wrote him back, right? And told him we were coming?”
“Yes, but he still felt the need to send this. Er. Open it, will you?”
Wonwoo sighed and flipped open the already-scruffy lip of the envelope, making a face of disgust when he pulled it out to find thirteen little chocolate snakes depicted on the front of the card. “Old jokes die hard. Does he think he’s funny?”
“I thought it was amusing,” Jihoon said matter-of-factly, just now joining them and taking a seat on Wonwoo’s other side, successfully separating them from the group of Hufflepuff students currently giggling over Seokmin and how handsome he looked in his red-and-green slim turtleneck. “Really witty.”
“You’ve already seen it, but you weren’t sitting here?” Wonwoo arched an eyebrow.
“It came last night. I had the unfortunate pleasure of helping Chan open it in the library, seeing as Jeonghan apparently thinks it’s funny to jinx the envelope closed with a Permanent Hex.”
“‘To all da main-’ ” Mingyu, who tugged the card from Wonwoo’s fingers, now gestured with his hand impatiently, filling in the expletive silently before continuing. “Oh, hey. The handwriting changed. I guess someone snatched the card from him. ‘We formally expect the ten of you in attendance for Christmas at The Villa, a five night spectacle beginning tonight as you pack with excitement in your hearts (or don’t, and wait until tomorrow afternoon to cram things into your trunks before entering the Floo) and culminating on Christmas Day with a joyous celebration of friendship, fun, love, and thankfulness as a large family. Love, your amazing hosts: Hannie, Shua, and Cheollie.’ Aw, that’s cute. Who held Seungcheol at gunpoint to write ‘Cheollie’ ?”
“So in case anyone didn’t RSVP, Jeonghan took care of that for you,” Chan summarized easily, taking the letter back and slipping it in its envelope.
“I better get my money’s worth. I would be skiing in Northern Europe with my parents tomorrow, and instead I’m going to a luxury villa. Albeit Jeonghan’s luxury villa,” Minghao said darkly, sitting down next to Junhui and indulging in the latter’s clingy tendencies with a slight grimace that hinted at deeper tension. “If I don’t like it after a day, I’m heading for the Alps.”
“I would rather be at Hogwarts,” Wonwoo said glumly. “I don’t much like going to people’s houses for vacation. Or going anywhere, really. Even if it’s a villa.”
“I can’t wait,” Mingyu beamed next to him. “It’ll be so great to see them again.”
Wonwoo stifled a laugh at their polar opposite personalities and helped himself to some toast as the choir finished and students took tiny bows amidst the cheers and applause, heading to their seats to have some breakfast before classes began.
***
“So,” Soonyoung said as they left eighth period Double Potions.
It had been a nightmare of 120 minutes- Professor Snape was seething as usual and more bitter than normal as he snappishly gave them his miserable anticipation of their empty and fly-ridden minds when they returned from a pointless two week holiday spent doing nothing related to his beloved subject. The general reaction to this lecture- a classroom full of darting eyes that betrayed the lack of comprehensive listening in their dreamy gazes fantasizing over Christmas plans, fiddling hands that were not still at attention, unopened books signaling complete carelessness for the lesson today, and overall restlessness that likely pertained to the fact that after these two periods, they would be free- only set Snape off further, and after the lovely Double Potions class that resulted in five exploded draughts, a smashed jar of cat spleens, and two students breaking down over their cauldrons in tears as Snape floated around and breathed fire down their necks, they were dismissed- to top it off, a literal doctorate-level research assignment on a NEWT poison or anecdote that would be covered in the second term, due as they walked in the door on the first day back. No matter that his ghostly hands could not collect their essays nor unfold their tight scrolls to grade them (the Potions intern teacher handled the writing part as Snape dictated)- no, they were to be up on his desk at the bell of seventh hour, Monday of the return from break. Period.
“Complete pisshead, that old bat is,” Wonwoo muttered. He was the one who dropped the spleens. “I should’ve done what Mingyu did and dropped Potions after OWLs.”
“So,” Soonyoung drew out, thoroughly ignoring him. Easy for him. Snape had glared at him for two minutes as he’d happily poured out nearly double the amount of toadstools into his cauldron, and Soonyoung had gone completely unnoticed. Wonwoo wasn’t sure how Soonyoung was accepted into NEWT-level Potions, for if the program’s attendees were determined by Snape alone then the poor boy would have definitely been cut. Good thing the course depended on scores.
(Soonyoung only got through his OWL for Potions with an Acceptable because of his mother’s threats if he did not pass into NEWTs for the subject, as well as Wonwoo’s desperate tutoring in the month leading up to the exam. Wonwoo insisted that the debt remained unpaid, and Soonyoung agreed. There was no giving back for a favor like that).
“So what?” Wonwoo finally relented, knowing Soonyoung wouldn’t let whatever he wanted to say rest otherwise.
“So have you told Mingyu yet?”
“Told him what?” Wonwoo stopped in the middle of the hallway, earning a series of complaints- ‘you can’t be serious, dumbass’, ‘move along, four-eyes, we’re all trying to get to dinner here!’ and a personal favorite of his, ‘you’re not the main character! ’- as he faced Soonyoung.
Soonyoung made a series of eye movements that only a best friend could interpret. “You know! About the Healer Academy!”
“Ugh,” Wonwoo grumbled, shoving someone with his shoulder as they bumped rather purposefully into his statue-like position. Hitching his bag more securely on his arm, he began walking again. “Can’t I just have a peaceful holiday? Break started five minutes ago and you’re already bothering me.”
“Won, I’m serious. It’ll only get worse from here. Every day you don’t tell him is only gonna be a bigger issue when he does find out. Because he will.”
“I know he will. I’ll just…” Wonwoo sighed, walking Soonyoung past the Hall as the other looked longingly inside at the scrumptious supper no doubt being served. “After we have our break. I just want him to be happy, you know?”
Soonyoung focused his wide eyes on Wonwoo, rather unnerving seeing as he narrowed them slightly. “He’d be happier knowing.”
“It’s not always easy to do what is right,” Wonwoo replied, craning his neck to see the packed situation in the Hall. “Dammit. It’s like a carnival in there.”
“Yeah, let’s wait. They always send up good food a bit into the meal, anyway. Wanna come to my room and see my Pygmy Puff?”
Wonwoo chuckled. “Your what?”
“They’re super cute. I bought one in Hogsmeade the other day. It’s bright pink and it squeaks if you pet it.”
Wonwoo sighed. Everywhere a new dilemma. Unknowing boyfriends and Pygmy Puffs. It never got easier.
Soonyoung was nearly bouncing with excitement. “Come on!”
“Yeah. Sure.”
***
“Mingyu?” Wonwoo stepped inside his room, finding Mingyu with his back to him, standing quite still and holding something. “What’re you doing in here?”
Vaguely he remembered Mingyu was going to meet him here to help him pack for the villa, but that thought was shoved out of Wonwoo’s mind at the sight of the familiar leaflet in Mingyu’s hands, as Wonwoo hurried across the room to where Mingyu stood, catching a glimpse of the lettering on the paper as he peered over Mingyu’s shoulder.
Mingyu remained silent, even as Wonwoo arrived at his side, and realized with a horrible sinking sensation what was in his boyfriend’s hands.
“Mingyu,” Wonwoo repeated, as if the paper was no big deal. “Were you waiting for me long?”
How had he found it?
A soft snuffling by his feet, and Wonwoo looked down to find Mango on his hind legs, the Niffler placing its front paws onto Wonwoo’s pants and staring up at him with regret. Wonwoo glared back. The damn thing had retrieved the leaflet and given it to Mingyu, no doubt. If it wasn’t for Mingyu’s adoration of the stupid animal, Wonwoo would’ve grabbed it by the cute collar and thrown it right out his window.
“Gyu,” Wonwoo repeated yet again, this time putting an arm around Mingyu’s shoulders, holding the younger boy to him. “You want to talk about this?”
What a weak way to start this absolutely dreaded conversation.
Wonwoo dared to check the latter’s expression. Mingyu’s face was blank, yet tears pooled in his eyes, and his lower lip was trembling, as if holding back a sob.
“Hey,” Wonwoo said hurriedly, pulling the paper from Mingyu’s hands. He hated seeing Mingyu cry, even if it wasn’t his fault. Mingyu cried no matter who’s fault anything was, and it pained Wonwoo to an extreme degree to see his boyfriend’s teary eyed expression. “Gyu, don’t think too much about this. I promise, it’s not-”
“When were you going to tell me?” Mingyu sniffled, his voice breaking as a tear slipped down his cheek- then another, then another. “Were you going to tell me?”
“I…” Wonwoo was at a loss for words. He bit his lip. “I mean, I was just… it’s not anything set in stone, Gyu! I wasn’t- I haven’t committed to anything. I’m just taking the exam and seeing how I do, I might not even get placement-”
“Oh, don’t bullshit me, Won,” Mingyu said weakly, desperately posturing for a casual, unbothered tone as if he wasn’t affected or didn’t care- yet he was betrayed by the tears streaming down his cheeks. “You know you’ll make it in.”
“I- It’s a tough competition! I don’t want you to think it’s concrete, that I’m definitely going to-”
“What happened to you staying close? What happened to us getting that apartment together?” Mingyu’s voice was brittle, his eyes already swollen.
Wonwoo faltered.
“Whatever.” Mingyu’s voice broke again as he shoved the leaflet into Wonwoo’s hands, scooping up the whining Niffler. “I already packed all your things, seeing as you were too busy doing whatever you were.”
“Mingyu,” Wonwoo pleaded, nearly placating as he clasped his slender fingers over Mingyu’s smaller ones. “I wasn’t trying to hide this from you. I was just-”
“You told me you wanted to do something at the London Conservatorium,” Mingyu accused, tears streaking down his cheeks. “You said you were going to do something with Herbology. Not a four year program that’ll need you to be working nearly all the time!”
“I changed my mind,” Wonwoo said weakly, knowing it was a lie. He just hadn’t been able to break the news to Mingyu any earlier. “Just- this is a great opportunity and it’s something that I’m interested in, Professor Flitwick said I had a good shot-”
“You promised that you’d stay close.” Mingyu sniffled, already closed off. “That was something important to me. We talked about this. You violated my trust in breaking that promise, you know that right?”
Wonwoo kept quiet. He didn’t know what to say. He never knew what to say when things like this happened. He’d been in the wrong, and he knew it clearly. It wasn’t fair to Mingyu that he’d hidden this from him, and he felt even worse because deep down he’d known Mingyu would be unhappy and still hadn’t said anything.
Mingyu gave him a scathing look that was more heartbroken than angered, and stalked from his room, leaving Wonwoo standing and scuffing at the floor as he gazed down at the tiny pamphlet and wondered how he’d managed to screw up their holiday like this.
***
“What happened?” Seokmin pestered.
“Nothing,” Mingyu mumbled, pushing food around his plate.
“Wonwoo and you in an argument?” Minghao asked sympathetically.
“No.”
“Then?” Seokmin nodded towards Mingyu’s plate. “You haven’t started eating yet. I’ve rarely seen you with a full plate when me and Hao are half-done, and if it’s full it means you’re on seconds.”
“Not hungry,” Mingyu said quietly, wishing they’d just leave him alone.
“Come on, what did Wonwoo say?” Minghao asked. “Did he get angry about you keeping the nightlight on every night?”
Mingyu took a deep breath, about to start yelling at the fact that they thought this was funny or something small. “No.”
“Come on, Minghao, don’t say things like that,” Seokmin giggled, already in the mood to tease Mingyu. “It’s not his fault that he’s a teeny little baby and needs a light on-”
“Or maybe Wonwoo finally lost his patience because Mingyu clings on to him twenty four seven,” Minghao snickered.
“Stop it.” Mingyu put his fork down, feeling sick. The other two instantly quietened, watching him. “Just stop it.”
He knew they were in a good mood, that they only had a few days until term was over and were looking forward to the holiday, that there was nothing bothering them.
But they didn’t understand. Yeah, he hadn’t explained anything, but they should know better than to make fun of him when he was already upset.
“I’m going to bed,” Mingyu muttered, standing up and swinging his bag over his shoulder.
“So early?” Minghao asked, looking rather concerned. “It’s only just eight-”
“Like you care,” Mingyu snapped, not sparing them another glance as he turned and walked out.
***
“Look, he’s walking off,” Soonyoung commented, absentmindedly swirling pasta around his fork as he craned his neck to watch Mingyu exit the Great Hall. “He’s left. And he didn’t eat anything either.”
“Are you trying to make me feel worse about this?” Wonwoo asked bitterly, similarly unable to eat. “I told you guys about this so you could help me, not guilt-trip me.”
Soonyoung shrugged. “Well, I told you to tell him earlier. Now you’ve mucked it up for the entire holiday break. Seungcheol’s gonna kill you if Mingyu shows up to the villa in a few days all upset and down.”
“Shit,” Wonwoo groaned, putting his head in his hands. “I forgot about Seungcheol.”
“What’s going on?” Jihoon asked, sitting down across Wonwoo, earning a hug and kiss from Soonyoung. “I’m too tired, get off me,” he added sharply, and Soonyoung blinked, retreating to his plate.
“Nothing.” Wonwoo swallowed one bite of food. “Mingyu found out about the Academy.”
“Finally.” Jihoon gestured at Wonwoo to continue, pulling a bowl of soup towards himself.
“He was not pleased.”
Jihoon snorted. “‘Not pleased’, huh? I bet he cried like a baby.”
“Don’t call him a baby,” Wonwoo snapped. “At least he can show his emotions like a real person. You never cry.”
Jihoon pointed his spoon at Wonwoo. “Don’t go off on me just because you fucked stuff up with your boyfriend.”
“Bad language,” Junhui sang, sitting down next to Wonwoo. “Ooh! Pasta.”
Wonwoo exasperatedly slid his plate over for Junhui. “I’m not trying to vent on you guys.”
“Sure sounds like it,” Soonyoung sniped, no doubt put off by Jihoon’s coldness tonight.
“Yeah, well.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes, accepting a bite of his own pasta off Junhui’s fork. “I just need some advice. How do I even talk to him about this?”
“Well, right now he thinks you’re a liar,” Jihoon said helpfully.
Wonwoo sighed. “Okay, that’s the part I already figured out. Is there anything actually useful anyone has to say?”
“Just go visit him tonight,” Soonyoung suggested. “He’s probably sulking in his room, he’ll secretly want you to come see him.”
“I don’t think this is one of those times.” Wonwoo bit his lip, shaking his head in answer to Junhui’s offering of more pasta. “What do I do, guys?”
“Talk to him,” Junhui agreed with Soonyoung. “Throw some cuddling in.”
Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “You guys think Mingyu is just some soft kid that opens up whenever I offer him any sort of doting affection.”
He received three deadpan stares in reply.
“Okay, maybe he is, but I feel like… this kind of hits a bit harder?”
“It’s either that or you sit here and reject our attempts to feed you, Won,” Soonyoung answered honestly.
Wonwoo drummed his fingers on the table, then slowly stood. “I’ll go finish some homework and get up my nerve to go talk to him.”
“Good luck,” Jihoon smiled, Soonyoung and Junhui adding their own words of encouragement as Wonwoo headed from the Great Hall.
***
Mingyu laid curled up in bed, ignoring Mango as the Niffler licked at the dried tearstains on his cheeks. The moon shone brightly outside, yet his room was warm and dark and quiet, only illuminated by the soft purple of the nightlight, a small jar filled with tiny, harmless flames kept by the bedside table.
He heard a knock at the door and quickly closed his eyes as Mango keened and jumped off the bed, rushing over to greet whoever it was.
“Gyu?” Another knock. “Mingyu, I know you’re in there.”
Mingyu screwed his eyes up tighter, curling up in the sheets. He didn’t want to talk to Wonwoo right now. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.
The doorknob clicked against the attempt to turn it, indicating Mingyu had removed the recognition spell that he kept on it so people he gave permission to could come in without being stalled by the door.
A soft sigh, and a whispered jinx sent the doorknob rolling right off the door, falling onto Mingyu’s carpet with a soft thump as Wonwoo slipped inside, picking it up and affixing it to the door again.
Mingyu wanted to yell at him for coming in when he’d made it clear he didn’t want visitors, but he kept his mouth shut and continued to feign sleep.
“Ah, hello there,” he heard Wonwoo chuckle, and the sounds of the latter kneeling in the carpet as Mango’s excited yips filled the air. “Missed me? Yeah. How’s your owner doing? He fell asleep already?”
Mango whined in reply.
“I know. He’s always prolonging his bedtime and I’ve always got to force him into his sheets, but here we are. Either he’s actually tired or…” Wonwoo’s voice sounded further amused. “Just good at pretending.”
Mango snuffled in reply, and his collar clinked as the pup escaped Wonwoo’s arms to go to his bed in the corner of the room. The Niffler bed was pretty useless, actually, seeing as Mango climbed into Mingyu’s bed halfway through the night, every night.
Mingyu heard Wonwoo’s footsteps moving closer and closer, and the bed sank down in front of him as he felt Wonwoo sit down.
Wonwoo’s fingers carded gently through Mingyu’s hair, smoothing the messy coffee locks back from his face. “Mingyu.”
Mingyu refused to quit his pretense, and kept his eyes closed.
He heard a familiar sound of metal clicking, and knew it was the snap-snap of Wonwoo closing his glasses before placing them on the table, no doubt about to get under the blanket and retire for the night.
Mingyu’s prediction came true as, with a sigh, Wonwoo slowly climbed over him, snuggling up against Mingyu’s back and somewhat awkwardly wrapping his arms around Mingyu’s larger frame. Mingyu nearly laughed, in fact he would have if he wasn’t still so upset. Wonwoo was always funny as the big spoon.
A kiss was pressed to the back of his neck, Wonwoo’s lips warm and soothing against his skin.
“You’re a horrible actor,” Wonwoo murmured quietly.
Mingyu opened his eyes, and by the time that they’d accustomed to the darkness Wonwoo had sat up slightly, leaning over Mingyu’s shoulder to look at him.
Mingyu closed his eyes again, uncaring of Wonwoo discovering the ruse. He didn’t want to talk to Wonwoo and no amount of kisses were going to change that.
Wonwoo slowly laid back down, stretching his arm out over Mingyu’s broader form and finally finding Mingyu’s hand, taking it gingerly. “I know you’re upset.”
“Upset is an understatement.” Mingyu tried to pull his hand away, but Wonwoo held on.
“I know.”
“Then do something about it.”
A sigh. “Gyu, you know I can’t.”
Mingyu couldn’t take it anymore and rolled over, coming face to face with Wonwoo, who seemed surprised that Mingyu was willing to speak so directly with him after barely a few seconds of coaxing.
“Why not?” Mingyu whispered petulantly. “Why can’t you just not go?” Even he knew how childlike and selfish it sounded as the words left his lips.
Wonwoo seemed to be holding back as he reached out and brushed through Mingyu’s hair. “You need a haircut. I know you like it a bit longer but it’s starting to fall into your eyes, you know that’s not good for your vision.”
Mingyu felt tears prickling in his eyes, and blinked them away. Here he was, trying to act mature for once, and Wonwoo was still babying him. Was that really what Wonwoo thought? That Mingyu was an innocent child that couldn’t take care of himself at all?
Well, you just were begging him not to go and pursue his dreams because you’re selfish like that.
Mingyu took a deep breath. No. He would have to stand up for himself. He couldn’t be such a pushover. He always gave in to Wonwoo, not that it was a bad thing or something he should fix- Wonwoo’s demands were never out of pocket or outrageous, and they were always within some line of reason. But this was wrong.
Mingyu had gone into this relationship thinking that Wonwoo understood how he worked. That he liked long-term, stay-by-your-side kinds of things. Mingyu had nothing against people who didn’t like that style of dating, but both of them had known that was what he’d wanted and if Wonwoo had other plans then he shouldn’t have led Mingyu on like this for so long if everything was going to go down the drain anyway.
“Why did you not tell me about the Academy when you first thought about it?” Mingyu asked carefully, knowing the answer he got could wreck everything.
Wonwoo took a deep breath. “Can we talk later?”
“No.” Mingyu didn’t care how rude that sounded. He didn’t care how tired Wonwoo was. He needed answers now.
Wonwoo continued stroking through Mingyu’s hair. “I just… I thought it’d give you second thoughts about being with me. About dating me. Because I know… knew, actually, that you didn’t like long distance things.”
“You should’ve said something.”
“I wanted to.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I’m shitty,” Wonwoo laughed weakly. “That’s all I can say.”
“Right.” Mingyu knew how cold his voice sounded. “Excellent excuse.”
Wonwoo sighed. “If I said anything, you would’ve shut me down.”
“And you thought by delaying it, you’d make it any better?”
“You would’ve broken up with me because you don’t like long distance.”
“If you already knew that, then why did you bother?” Mingyu demanded, blinking hard to once again dispel the tears that were pooling in his eyes. No. He was not going to cry in front of Wonwoo for something like this. “Do you think it’s fair to me? Leading me on and making me think that we would stay close to each other even after you graduate? Don’t you think it’ll already be hard on me for a year, spending my seventh year here without you? And to think that you were planning this the whole time?”
Wonwoo sighed. “I just… I wanted to enjoy the time we would have together. I felt like… honestly? I felt like you wouldn’t break up with me, but you’d be so sad about me leaving that our second term would be miserable. I didn’t want to end things bitterly.”
Just the thought about their second term, about how dreadful it would be with Wonwoo’s rapidly-nearing departure to the Healing Academy, made Mingyu feel sick. If he couldn’t even handle the idea of it now, he knew that it would be the most logical decision to cut ties with Wonwoo as fast as possible so he wouldn’t be spending all of January through May mourning the soon-to-be empty space in his life.
But Mingyu was an idiot, or perhaps he was just a fool that couldn’t rationalize his thoughts because he’d been in love with Jeon Wonwoo for years at this point. So instead of saying what would be the right thing for both of them, Mingyu merely turned his back on Wonwoo, hoping that his silence would clear things up. It would have to. The words that he needed to say were stuck in his throat and they refused to come out.
Obviously, his silence did nothing, and Wonwoo didn’t take Mingyu’s sudden exit from the conversation in the way intended, instead interpreting it as the end of the argument for now and laying back down.
Mingyu felt his tears leak out onto the pillow, dampening the space between the fabric and his cheek with uncomfortable warmth as he finally cried, knowing Wonwoo could hear him, could sense his frustration.
There was nothing but the blur of his vision and the caress of burning tears on the bridge of his nose as they dripped onto the pillow silently, yet leaving enough quiet in the air to cue Wonwoo to slip an arm over Mingyu’s torso, the former’s delicate fingers finding their way to Mingyu’s heart and gently rubbing a circle into his chest, soothing him as he wept.
He hated crying in front of Wonwoo, because of how easy it was to let himself go and be held and vent.
But this time he especially hated it, because he didn’t want to give Wonwoo these tears.
“I’m sorry, Gyu,” Wonwoo murmured remorsefully. “Genuinely. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how else to apologize.”
Mingyu pressed his lips together as a sob threatened to break free, closing his eyes tightly so he wouldn’t have to see Wonwoo peeking over his shoulder to check on him.
He was selfish and mean for asking Wonwoo this much, but at the same time he felt justified. And then selfish for feeling justified, and the cycle just repeated itself over and over.
Somehow he drifted off, a while later, when the circle had slowed and Wonwoo’s hand was nearly limp over his heartbeat with drowsiness, when his eyes burned from crying and it felt better to close them and revel in the dark emptiness of his vision.
He dreamt of summer skies and Wonwoo’s laughter.