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The thing is, Luffy likes holding hands.
It’s something Ace has noticed, in the five months he’s known his brother. Luffy holds hands constantly. Whether it’s dragging Ace up at five in the morning to go see the sunrise, or pulling him towards their next hunt, or simply slipping his hand into Ace’s and swinging their joined hands back and forth as they walk, he’s always latched onto Ace in some way. It was- weird, at first, but eventually Ace got used to it.
He never had someone do that. Sabo was his best friend, his first brother, but they never did physical contact. The most they did was punching each other jokingly in the shoulder, or helping the other up when they got knocked down. Ace loved Sabo- still does, of course, and the absence still stings- but they didn’t hold hands.
Luffy adores holding hands, and, well, Luffy’s too stubborn for Ace to be able to deny him this. But- what he didn’t know was that it’s not something Luffy does with everyone.
Makino comments on it one day, while she’s measuring Ace for new clothes. “He holds your hand a lot,” Makino notes casually, bringing her measuring tape around Ace’s chest. Ace blushes and looks away at the fond smile she meets him with.
He forces himself to match her tone as he says, “Yeah, he does. He really likes holding hands.”
Makino laughs a little, like tinkling bells. Ace really likes Makino’s laugh. “I think it might be a little more than that,” she states. He looks back at her, and something in her eyes twinkle. “He doesn’t hold my hand nearly as much as he does yours,” Makino continues absently, eyes focusing back onto her work. “Especially recently.”
Ace furrows his brows for a bit, thinking. “I-” He starts, cutting himself off. Ultimately, he decides on shrugging and saying, “That’s weird. He always does it when he’s with me.”
“That’s probably the important part,” Makino responds. Ace narrows his eyes further at her.
“What do you mean?”
Makino just looks at him, for a moment, the smile tugging at her lips small and affectionate. “You’ll see what I mean,” she says ambiguously. Ace glares.
“That’s not an answer!”
Unfortunately for Ace, that’s when Luffy bounds up to them. “Ace! Makino!” He yells, grabbing at Ace’s hand. Habitually, Ace adjusts and lets Luffy thread their fingers together. “Makino, are you done yet?” Luffy whines, already tugging at Ace. “We need to go!”
Makino laughs a bit, leaning back on her heels. “Yes, yes, I’m done,” she says in amusement. She reaches out to ruffle Luffy’s hair, following up with Ace’s. Ace ducks his head away, cheeks warming. “Go have fun, boys. I’ll be up in a few days to see you.”
“See you, Makino!” Luffy calls over his shoulder, already pulling Ace out of the bar. Ace makes to follow her, but pauses.
“Wait, Luffy,” he hisses. He forces Luffy to stop, and turns around, bowing at Makino. “Thank you, Makino!” He states, the words finally not feeling awkward in his mouth. Luffy gasps in realization.
“Right! Thanks, Makino!” Luffy shouts, waving wildly at her. Makino smiles at them.
Her voice is warm as she says, “Of course, boys.” With that, Luffy starts tugging at Ace with more vigor, and Ace has no chance but to follow.
Luffy only lets go of Ace’s hand once they reach their training grounds, bounding away to get to his own starting spot. He spins to face Ace, his grin almost splitting his face. “Alright!” Luffy yells, getting into his fighting stance. “Time to lose, Ace!”
Ace shakes his head and jumps into his own stance. “No way in hell, Luffy!” He returns challengingly. “I’m not losing to you!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am not, you little weakling!”
Luffy launches himself at Ace in that moment, outrage carved into his face, and as Ace throws a punch at Luffy, the conversation with Makino flits to the back of his mind, forgotten for now.
-
Ace also knows that Luffy also loves piggy-back rides. He launches himself at Ace a ridiculous amount, always begging Ace to carry him places or even just to hang out on Ace’s back while he’s sitting there skinning rabbits or something. It doesn’t make sense, how much Luffy does it. Ace’s come to terms with it, though; his little brother loves piggy-backs. He just has to deal with it.
And, well. Luffy’s laughter always seems to be just a touch brighter when Ace’s carrying him. He always seems so happy, when Ace allows him to do this, so, well- Ace’ll do it.
-
“Ace!”
Ace determinedly does not yelp when Luffy jumps on his back, latching his arms around Ace’s neck and hanging on tightly. “Luffy- fucking shit,” Ace curses, hurriedly rebalancing so he doesn’t go tumbling to the ground. Luffy laughs brightly, not making a single effort to help Ace out, the little shit. “Hi, Luffy,” Ace says exasperatedly, after having finally readjusted himself.
“Hi Ace!” Luffy greets again. His face hangs over Ace’s shoulder so he can look Ace in the eyes. Ace is used to Luffy’s casual warping of his body, at this point, and so he simply flicks his eyes towards Luffy’s before he focuses back on walking. “Watcha doin’?”
Gracing Luffy with a deadpan stare, Ace says, “I was looking for food. But now, someone’s scared away ninety-five percent of any food out here, so that plan’s shot.”
Luffy laughs again. “Oh, well!” He says casually. Ace rolls his eyes.
“You’re impossible,” he informs Luffy.
“I just wanted to be with you!” Luffy protests. His arms tighten around Ace’s shoulders.
Ace, despite himself, softens. “Yeah?” He asks, voice quieter. He glances over to see Luffy nodding vigorously.
“Yeah!”
And- Luffy does seem really, really happy right now. Ace doesn’t get it, but if Luffy going hunting with him can put that smile on his face, well. Ace isn’t about to deny him that. “Alright, well, Lu,” Ace says. “We’re gonna have to walk a ways to find somewhere to hunt.”
“Alright!” Luffy cheers. His legs kick a little by Ace’s sides. Ace’s heart warms. “Let’s go then, Ace!”
“I’m gonna have to carry you the whole way there, aren’t I,” Ace states in amusement, already heading towards one of the less-hunted areas of the forest.
Luffy chirps, “Yup!” He doesn’t even need to look at Luffy to know he’s grinning.
Ace sighs, but a small smile is tugging at his lips. “You’re gonna have to get off to hunt, you know,” he tells Luffy. Luffy shrugs, the motion jostling the arms around Ace a bit.
“Yeah, but that’s not for a while!” With that, Luffy rests his head on Ace’s shoulder, and settles. He seems content. Ace lets his shoulders relax, and just shakes his head fondly. Damn, if the him from two years ago could see him now, he’d be so annoyed.
Luffy clings to Ace the entire way to the hunting ground. And, when their hunting’s done and they’ve divvied up the stuff to carry, Luffy visibly pouts at the fact that Ace can’t carry him back to their home. Ace rolls his eyes, but when he frees up one of his hands and holds it out towards Luffy, Luffy lights up.
He swings their hands back and forth the entire way back to Dadan’s, and the little pocket of warmth in Ace’s heart grows.
They get back, and Dadan scoffs a little. “Always hanging off of you, isn’t he,” she grumbles. She takes the deer Ace hands to her without another word, handing it off to one of the other bandits. Ace shrugs a bit, moving to put Luffy down.
“Go find us some wood to make a fire, alright, Luffy?” He asks, jerking his head towards the forest. Luffy pouts a little, and Ace rolls his eyes. “I’ll give you some of my portion if you do this,” Ace adds on, deadpan. Luffy brightens.
Predictably, he dashes away immediately. Ace has no doubt that they’re going to end up with more wood than they know what to do with. Ace watches for a moment, then turns back towards Dadan. Her previous comment finally registers, and his cheeks heat a bit. “Not always,” he brushes off. Dadan rolls her own eyes.
“I have no doubt that if Luffy could be on your back for the rest of his life, he’d do so,” Dadan says flatly. Ace laughs.
“Nah, he’s way too free-spirited for that,” Ace says amusedly. He eyes Luffy, dashing around and collecting wood. He’s going at it with the same sort of intensity he goes about everything with, eyes narrowed and focused. He adds on, softer, “He’s gonna be king, after all.”
Dadan huffs out a bit of a laugh. “That kid and his dream,” she says, gruff. Ace turns back to face her, eyebrows raised.
“You believe in him just as much as I do,” Ace states, crossing his arms.
Rolling her eyes again, Dadan says, “Yeah, yeah, brat, but that doesn’t change my point.” Dadan crooks her thumb towards Luffy. “That brat doesn’t just latch onto the back of everyone he comes across, y’know.”
Ace furrows his eyebrows a bit. “Well,” he says slowly. “If I wasn’t here, he’d probably find someone else to cart him around.” He adds on, chuckling a bit, “He’s a lazy little shit, sometimes, I swear.”
Dadan lets out a sigh, shaking her head. “You’re hopeless,” she tells Ace. “And oblivious, and I wonder how you’re gonna survive when you set out in a couple years.”
“Hey!” Ace shouts in offense. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If you can’t figure it out on your own, I can’t help you.”
“Hey-”
Fortunately for Dadan, that’s when Luffy comes back. “Ace!” He calls, launching himself onto Ace’s back yet again. Ace’s more prepared, this time, and just takes it with a grunt. Luffy peers around Ace’s head to beam in his face. “I finished!” He says cheerfully. Ace brings a hand up, letting Luffy hold up his own weight on one side, to ruffle his hair.
“Good job, Luffy,” Ace says. “Now let’s go make some crocodile meat, shall we?”
Luffy brightens excitedly. “Crocodile soup!” He demands. Ace laughs, turning his back on Dadan.
“Yeah, alright. Make sure you don’t burn yourself on it, like you always manage to do somehow.”
“Hey! I’ve gotten better at that! Don’t treat me like I’m seven again!”
“You’re twelve. It’s basically the same thing.”
“Hey!”
And, well, they get thoroughly sidetracked, from there.
Ace can’t get the conversation out of his head, though, that night. He recalls a similar conversation with Makino a little while back, and something stutters in his heart as he realizes the similarities of the themes of the conversations.
He knows he’s Luffy’s brother, and that’s probably reason enough, but- why him? Why did Luffy choose him, of all people, to latch onto and demand piggy-backs from and hold hands with? Why is Dadan so sure that Luffy’d choose not to leave Ace’s side if he could, Makino so certain that there’s something special about him? Why?
Especially him. Him, who’s the son of the devil.
He doesn’t voice the question to Luffy, at first. But- he wakes up, and Luffy drags him up by the hand to get breakfast. They get breakfast, and Luffy clings to Ace’s back as they make their way to their training grounds. After training, Luffy swings their hands together as they walk back home. Luffy’s just clingy, Ace reasons. That’s the reason – Luffy can’t stand to be away from people, and that’s why he does this with Ace.
He doesn’t do it with Makino, is what Ace doesn’t understand. Dadan, he can understand – she’s a shitty old hag, and their Gramps is just an obvious no-go. But- Makino’s everything good in the world, kind and loving and gentle. She’s everything Ace can’t be; it only makes sense that Luffy would want to cling to her whenever he can.
Yet, when they go down to visit her, or when Makino comes up to see them, Luffy’s always attached to Ace.
Ace doesn’t understand.
Finally, Ace voices his questions to Luffy. “Hey,” he starts casually. Luffy doesn’t even look up from his food, ripping another bite out of his leg of crocodile. “Hey,” Ace tries again. No response.
Ace throws a stick at Luffy. Luffy doesn’t even flinch. “You little shit,” Ace grumbles, before he finally just reaches over and rips the food out of Luffy’s hand.
Finally, Luffy snaps his head up. “Hey!” He whines. “Give that back, you jerk!”
Ace ignores Luffy’s attempts to take back his food, holding the crocodile above his head. “Why do you hold my hand and all that shit?” He asks bluntly. Luffy stops, furrowing his brows at Ace.
“Because I want to!” He says. “Now, give me my food back!”
Groaning, Ace throws it back to him. Luffy catches it and chomps down on it yet again, but thankfully it seems like Ace has still got his attention. “What makes you want to, though?” Ace stresses. The curiosity inside him is almost too much to bear – he doesn’t get it.
It’s unfortunate, though, because Luffy’s Luffy, so he just cocks his head at Ace. “What do you mean?” Luffy asks in return. “I just wanna!”
Ace hangs his head, sighing in despair. “You’re impossible,” he says, voice tinged with a whine. Luffy just laughs, and continues eating.
No getting answers on this front, Ace supposes.
-
That very night, they decide to go to the cliff. Luffy, drowsy and tired from a day full of training and hunting, leans up against Ace’s side, and Ace comes to the startling realization that Luffy also has a habit of doing this constantly.
When Ace wraps an arm around Luffy’s shoulders, Luffy instantly burrows closer, throwing an arm around Ace’s waist. The warmth inside Ace’s heart wells and feels ready to burst. He doesn’t do cheesiness, though, so instead of doing anything to quell the overwhelming happiness within him, he simply looks up at the stars.
“Ne, Ace?” Luffy asks tiredly. Ace tilts his head down at Luffy. Luffy’s copied him, as he always does, and is peering up at the night sky as well.
Ace responds, voice hushed, “Yeah, Lu?”
“Why’re there stars up there?” Ace blinks.
“I’m…actually not sure,” he answers hesitantly.
Luffy hums a bit. “Mystery stars, then!” He chirps after a moment, seeming completely satisfied. Ace laughs quietly, a fond smile tugging at his lips.
“Yeah, let’s go with that,” he says amusedly. Luffy beams up at him, and Ace can’t help the widening of his own grin. Ace wonders every day what he ever did to deserve the sunshine that is his little brother.
Luffy yawns, then, and goes back to resting his head on Ace’s chest. “You’re warm,” he mumbles, wrapping his arms tighter around Ace. Ace feels his heart squeeze, and pulls Luffy closer. The night air is a little chilly around them. Ace’s glad he can help Luffy stay warm.
“Your heater’ll be here all night,” Ace whispers into Luffy’s hair, a little teasing. Gratifyingly, Luffy giggles a bit.
Overcome with affection, Ace can’t help but press a kiss to Luffy’s hair. Luffy sighs a bit, obviously happy. Seas, Ace can’t believe he has Luffy. Choked a bit, Ace pulls Luffy even tighter to him, and soon they’re laying down fully, Luffy splayed out all over Ace.
He falls asleep, then, heart warm.
-
“Luffy’s always attached to me,” Ace says offhandedly to Garp, one time while he’s torturing- visiting them. They’ve finished their training for the day; Luffy’s passed out beside them, snoring like a fucking tank, and Ace’s eating. Garp already finished, and snorts as he wipes his hands on his pants.
“Of course, he is,” Garp says. Ace eyes him.
“Y’know, I wonder if he’d be just as attached to you if you visited more,” he says bluntly.
Garp glares at him. “Very funny, brat,” he says grumpily. Ace shoots him a cheeky smile. Soon enough, though, his glare smooths into something more considering. “I don’t think that’d change, though,” Garp adds on. Ace furrows his brows a bit.
“Why not?” He asks. It’s Garp’s turn to give him a look, apparently, as Garp shoots him a look out of the corner of his eyes.
“You’re the brat’s favorite,” Garp says, in the tone of voice he uses when he thinks someone’s stupid. Ace normally rears up in anger when he uses that tone, but this time, what Garp said has him blinking at him in shock.
Ace says blankly, “I’m his favorite?” Well, Ace guesses, it does make sense – Luffy doesn’t really have anyone else that stays with him. Garp’s never here, Dadan doesn’t really care about them, or at least not enough to stay around them all the time, and Makino- well. She’s amazing, but she can’t be there all the time. Still, though- “Why?”
This time, Garp turns around fully to look at Ace. “Why?” He asks incredulously. “You’re his brother and he loves you, duh.”
Ace’s brain stalls.
“He-” Ace shakes his head. His fists clench in his lap. “He loves me?”
Garp stares at him for a while, the look on his face unreadable. “…Yeah,” he finally says. “He does. A lot.”
Ace swallows. He’s faintly aware of the way his eyes have gone wide, his grip on his food going slack. He doesn’t respond for a long time – the forest feels miles away, and he’s just-
Luffy can’t love him. Not- not him, not Ace, who’s been nothing but a sin for the entirety of his life. Not him, who doesn’t add anything good to this world and who’s only purpose is to atone for the sins of who came before him. Luffy- Luffy can’t. Not Luffy, who’s the best thing that’s ever happened to Ace, who laughs like happiness and smiles like the sun. Not- not him.
“He can’t,” Ace finally whispers. He looks away, the lump in his throat suddenly overwhelming. The backs of his eyes burn. “He can’t,” he breathes, looking down at his hands. His fingers twist together.
The silence between them hangs heavy for a moment. The hand that comes down on his head startles him. He peers up through his hair, and Garp looks- Ace can’t parse what emotion Garp’s expressing. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he looks sad. “That’s something,” Garp finally says, voice soft. “That’s for Luffy to decide, isn’t it?”
Ace swallows. He looks back down, fingers digging little crescents into his palms. Garp sighs. “Let’s go back to Dadan’s, brat. You both need to sleep,” Garp tells Ace. Ace nods slowly, and rises slowly. As is habit, he makes his way over to Luffy’s side and gently shakes him.
“Time to go back, Lu,” Ace whispers. Luffy grumbles softly in his sleep. This has happened enough times before, though – Ace just turns his back and crouches down, and Luffy manages to clamber on before long.
When Luffy’s finally settled, Ace turns back to Garp. He looks far too soft. “Let’s go back,” Garp says, turning towards Dadan’s. Ace nods slowly. Luffy huffs in his ear.
“You’re his brother, and he loves you.”
Ace walks, and he can’t make himself believe it.
-
It’s impossible not to question everything, now that Garp’s finally said it.
Luffy threads his fingers through Ace’s as they walk, and Ace questions if it’s because Luffy loves him. Luffy demands a piggy-back, and Ace wonders if that’s not just out of laziness. Luffy leans up against Ace, hugging him tight, and Ace wonders if it’s not just because of his warmth, after all.
Luffy wakes Ace up by launching himself at Ace’s stomach, and Ace knows that’s definitely not done out of love.
But- the thing is, with their relationship, they don’t really…talk about their feelings. They beat each other up and hunt together and eat together and fight together and sleep together but they never really talk about it. Ace knows he loves Luffy – he fucking adores him, if he’s gonna be honest – but he’s not sure he’s ever said it.
Suddenly, the gut-clenching, bone-deep fear comes that Luffy doesn’t know that Ace loves him. He- he thinks he does, Ace hopes he does, but- what if he doesn’t?
That night is another where they’ve worn themselves out and are content simply sleeping under the stars on their cliff. Luffy’s curled up against Ace’s side, Ace’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.
Ace’s happy, but still- the thought still nags at him. Guilt twists in his gut, and- he needs to say it.
He sighs and sits up. “Luffy,” he calls softly. Luffy blinks up at him. He doesn’t respond, just looking at Ace.
“I-” Ace forces himself to take in a deep breath, to calm himself down. He’s being too frantic about this, he needs to fucking calm down. “I need to make sure you know this, Lu.” Luffy blinks up at him, head tilted in curiosity, and Ace says slowly, “I love you, Luffy.”
Luffy’s face clears. He instantly adopts a smile. “Of course I knew that, stupid Ace!” Luffy responds immediately. The tension in Ace’s shoulders eases. Luffy continues, “I love you too!”
Ace freezes. His hands tighten slightly around Luffy’s shoulders, and he feels his breath catch in his throat. He lets it out, shuddering, and bows his head slightly. Luffy lets out a noise of concern. The wind gusts, and Ace’s face is colder than normal, and Ace becomes all-too aware of the coldness trailing down the side of his cheek- oh.
He’s crying.
Ace is crying.
“Fuck,” Ace croaks quietly, standing and backing away. He scrunches his eyes shut and brings a hand up to swipe impatiently at his tears. “Fuck.”
Luffy lets out another worried noise, louder this time. “Ace, why’re you crying?” Ace cracks his eyes open to see his brother innocently confused, eyes widened in clear concern. “Ace?”
“You-” Ace sniffles. Fuck, it’s been so long since Ace has cried. But- Luffy loves him, and Ace- and Ace- “You love me?” Seas, Ace sounds so small.
“Duh!” Luffy sounds so sure that Ace can’t help but open his eyes completely to meet Luffy’s own. Luffy grins, his worries apparently set at ease, and states, “Stupid Ace! Of course I do!”
“But why?” Ace can’t help but protest. “I’m-”
Luffy doesn’t even give Ace the chance to protest even a little bit.
“You’re my big brother!” Luffy cuts in indignantly. “Of course I love you! You give me piggy back rides and food and you’re the best-”
Ace cuts Luffy off, this time, by pulling him into a hug. Luffy instantly wraps his arms around Ace’s back, and Ace buries his head in Luffy’s shoulder. His tears are probably soaking Luffy’s shoulder, but Luffy doesn’t seem to care at all. “I love you, Ace,” Luffy says, voice gone soft and steady. Ace chokes out a sob, holding Luffy tighter, and Luffy repeats, “You’re my big brother. You’re my big brother, and I love you.”
Knees gone weak, Ace falls against Luffy. He’s sobbing in earnest now. Luffy catches him, though, and lowers them to the ground. “I love you,” Luffy reassures. “I love you. I love you.” And- Ace believes him.
Ace doesn’t know why he deserves Luffy, deserves this undying light and sunshine and love that is his baby brother, but he’s going to do his damn best to keep him. He’s gonna give Luffy the best life he possibly can, because Luffy deserves it.
Fuck, he loves him. And Luffy loves him.
“I love you too,” Ace says shakily into Luffy’s shoulder, once his tears have dried up slightly. He pulls back, and Luffy meets him with an all-too-soft smile. And then-
He fucking kisses Ace on the forehead, and Ace can’t help but choke out yet another sob. “Silly Ace,” Luffy says tenderly, and there’s nothing Ace can do but fold Luffy into another hug.
“You’re the silly one,” Ace retorts weakly, the effect ruined by the way he’s holding Luffy as tightly as he can against his chest. Luffy just giggles, resting his head on Ace’s shoulder. He doesn’t say anything else, and they just…sit there, on the forest floor, for longer than Ace can track.
He doesn’t mind, though. This is all he needs.
Finally, though, Luffy nudges Ace. “Look,” he whispers brightly. Ace glances over his shoulder at where Luffy’s looking, and his eyes widen. He stands, not even bothering to let go of Luffy. Luffy just giggles and goes along with it.
“Let’s go,” Ace says, he puts Luffy down briefly, and in sync they move so that Luffy can jump onto his back.
And together, they go to watch the sunrise.