Chapter Text
Tadhg walked through the town centre on his own. It was only six o’clock, but it was already dark outside. The quickest way home was through Leeside Estate – the crime-ridden part of Berxley. He knew his mum would kill him if she found out that he was walking through there at this time of night. Tadhg had already had a bad day at school, where he fought with Chester Shaw. Chester had been Tadhg’s crush for six years. When he was outed as Trans, and that Chester was his crush, Chester made it his mission to make Tadhg’s life hell.
Tadhg was sure someone was behind him. However, he never really looked, in case he got hurt. It was that feeling where he wanted to look but knew he could be jumped by people just by checking behind him. He knew it was a risky thing to do, walking here in the day, but an even riskier thing walking here at night. When his mum caught wind of him being followed home and attacked, she was adamant that she would pick him up after school. He was sure that she didn’t need to today, as it would have made her late for work, and if she was late for work again, she would have been fired.
Money was never an issue for the Denman Family. Tadhg being born into a wealthy family had its perks, going out with friends, having nice things, having a nice house, it was never really an issue. But he never really understood how those who didn’t even have enough money to eat got into their situation. He wanted to find out more but didn’t want to seem snobby or insensitive. The thought of having no money scared Tadhg, the thought of being financially strained scared Tadhg.
His head snapped to the right as he passed an alleyway. It was always a thing he did when walking places. He was always told that if he's going to get attacked, he should look at the attacker's face, in case he survived and had to tell the police. He always thought that it didn’t apply to boys, but he practised it anyway. It was confusing why that sort of advice was only handed to girls. Boys were attacked too. But boys are strong enough to defend themselves. Boys are programmed to be violent. Boys hurt girls like Chester hurt Tianne.
Chester followed Tadhg like a hawk. Every move was watched intensely, in case he did anything wrong or out of the ordinary. Chester had followed Tadhg for months now, memorising every step and every little movement his clothes made. On the outside, he wanted nothing more than to beat Tadhg into a pulp. However, on the inside, Chester wanted nothing more than to push him up against a wall and kiss him. He’d liked Tadhg for seven years now, but because his parents were extreme homophobes and transphobes, he didn’t want to do anything. Chester hated himself for being everything his parents never wanted, and as an only child, they had no one to fall back on for their intrusive plans. It was dangerous territory, to be gay in the Shaw family. You’d be treated like you don’t even exist. That was the best they would treat him if he were to come out. The worst was death. They would kill him. Chester always felt like he had no place in society. Like he had nowhere to run from his problems. Nowhere to be safe. But there was always a glimmer of hope when he saw Tadhg. But it was unrequited.
Chester had liked Tadhg since he was Tianne. He thought he was the prettiest girl in school and asked him out on multiple occasions and got rejected each time. He had so much pent-up rage and anger, that he started acting out on him. Bullying him. Stalking him, even. So, when it came out that Tadhg was trans and gay, Chester wasn’t about to risk home and a family. He wasn’t about to risk his friends and status. So, he turned on him. Started to call him a fag, and poof. Tranny. Tianne. She. Her. Chester knew that these words cut deep but didn’t care to fix it. Soon enough, he got over his rage and did it to keep his reputation. To make sure no one assumed anything.
Pride was everything to the Shaw family. It was always the top priority. The idea was to have a successful father, a mother who stayed at home, and a straight “normal” son. But that wasn’t the reality. Chester's dad was about to lose his job, Chester's mum was a drug and alcohol abuser, and Chester was gay, and in love with a trans man. On top of that, they were poor. Near poverty. The Shaw family lived in a council house on benefits and was constantly skipping meals here and there just so they could afford rent. It was a complete contrast to Tadhg’s life. Rich, successful, everything Chester could ever want. But never got.
Chester dipped behind a bin to not be seen by Tadhg as he spun around. He knew that Tadhg had heard him shuffle a bit closer to get a good look, but it was pointless. His footsteps were heavy, and Tadhg’s hearing was impeccable. That was just one of the many things Chester loved about Tadhg. Other things included the way he walked, the way he smiled, the way he talked, the way his hair fell over his face. But Chester ruined it. By fighting him. It wasn’t his fault though. All he did was walk up to Tadhg in the corridor and Tadhg just swung. So, he had to swing back so he wouldn’t be scrutinised. He never meant to hurt him. All he wanted to do was to say that he supported Tadhg. And that he loved him. He just wanted Tadhg to be happy with him.
It was the last stretch for Tadhg. Only ten more minutes and he would be home. Safe. But just before he reached his road, two hands grabbed him. One by the mouth and another by the waist and dragged him behind a corner.
“Shhhhhh, it's okay, it's only me.” The voice came from a dark face that Tadhg could barely make out. “It's Chester,” Tadhg began to kick and scream but his attempts failed. Chester's voice scared him more than anything in this world “I know I am the last person you want to see right now but just hear me out. When I take my hand away you’ve got to swear you won’t scream, got it?” Tadhg nodded, fearful of his enemy’s cerulean eyes. Fearful of his words. Fearful of him. Tears started to spill from his burned eyes. When Chester took his hand away, Tadhg choked back a sob. “Listen. I don’t hate you. After what happened today, you may find that hard to believe but it's true. I've fancied you for nearly 7 years now and I didn’t want to hurt you. If I didn’t act like that, I was going to risk my house and family. I know you don’t believe me. Your family’s perfect and everything so you probably wouldn’t know what it's like to have a druggie mum and an unemployed dad while living in a council house in a rough area like this.”
“Why are you telling me this now? After all those years. You knew I was trans, yet you didn’t stop them from bullying me and you could have. You didn’t stop them from following me home and yet you could have. Instead, you escalated it. You told them to do it. If you had any hope in me saying yes to you, you've got no chance.” Tadhg began to walk away in anger. His enragement surging through his veins.
“Wait!” Chester grabbed onto Tadhg’s wrist in desperation. “I just wanted to say that I've got respect for you. You know, for dealing with all that stuff. For real.” Chester wanted to say these words for so long. He used to sit in his room for hours on end and practice what he was going to say. However, when he tried to say these things, something would always go wrong. “Can I walk you back to yours?” Chester said in a defeated voice.
“Mums bound to bollock me but sure.” Tadhg said with a sigh. Sometimes he hated being the one riddled with guilt when it should have been the other way around.