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“Cat,” Lal repeated as she carefully stroked the soft fur.
“Yes, it is a cat,” Data confirmed for the fourth time. He did not mind; as long as Lal was learning, he was happy (figuratively speaking, of course).
“He’s called Patches!” Jeremy Aster, the young boy, piped up. “I like to call him Captain Patches, though. Makes him sound even cooler than he is.” He smiled, totally at ease with Lal. At first, he, like the other children, had been slightly scared of her, but when Lal crouched to look curiously at the pet and hesitantly reached out to him, Jeremy had seemed to decide that was all that mattered.
(Worf, who Jeremy was staying with during this brief vacation to the Enterprise, was another matter entirely; he had not said a word since Lal entered his home, but Lal seemed satisfied with the positive attention from another child. It seemed Wesley Crusher had, once again, been correct.)
Lal momentarily stopped the petting. “How does calling a feline by the rank of Captain affect how you perceive his body temperature?”
“I believe Jeremy is using the word ‘cool’ to describe Patches in a positive way. In this case, I would estimate he means that using the word ‘captain’ to refer to Patches makes him seem more dignified.” Data looked to Worf for confirmation. As good as he had gotten at interpreting strange expressions the humans would use, he could never be entirely sure what they meant. Worf gave a curt nod.
“Yeah, that’s what I meant. Anyway,” Jeremy said after a short silence, “I think he likes you.” Lal looked up. “How do you know this?” she asked.
“Well, he’s purring. That’s a good sign.” Lal continued to pet the animal, and Data watched as even Worf seemed to soften only a bit to her. If Data were human, he would surely feel pride now.
-
Lal is dead.
Lal is dead, and there had been no way for Data to save her. Now, he finds himself in the aftermath.
It is strange, how a child affects one. Data is, for the first time since he was activated, glad he does not have emotions. If he feels so unsettled by his child’s death without them, he is sure he would not enjoy this period of time would he have feelings.
His neural pathways grew accustomed to Lal faster than they had to anybody else. Without her, he feels empty somehow, even as he is filled with memories of all her life from her point of view - a rare gift no human parent could receive. It does not take away the persisting emptiness.
So he searches for ways to fill the void, so that he can keep the neural pathways that sprung into existence as he learned about parenthood intact and active for as long as he can. He paints. He interacts with the children on the ship, but when Geordi quietly tells him they fear him and are intimidated by him, he retreats. He cradles the plush targ that he gifted her, hoping to feel some kind of familiarity. It only results in him recalling his daughter’s memories. Data is not soothed by the presence of the stuffed animal, not as Lal was by him in her final moments.
He even talks to Counselor Troi, who tells him that his response to his child’s death is normal. For humans, it is. Data does not know what is normal for androids.
Geordi walks inside as Data finishes his most recent painting of Lal. She is petting Patches, who has long left the ship with his owner. The canvas is positioned in such a way that Data sees the targ on a shelf next to it. Even if it does not grant him any more time with his daughter, it is the last thing he has that she has owned. She did not live long enough to own anything else. If given more time, she would have owned the world when she was old enough to die; Data would have given it to her willingly.
“Data, that’s beautiful,” his friend, now sitting down on a chair near Data, says. “You really miss her, don’t you?” He lays a hand on Data’s shoulder in a gesture he has learnt is meant to be comforting. He is an android, so it is not.
“I am not able to miss her, as I do not have emotions,” Data replies, almost automatically.
“However, I feel her absence deeply,” he adds after a few seconds of Geordi nodding at him to go on. But is that not one of the definitions of the verb to miss? Notice the loss or absence of. When a human in his position would use the word, they would mean feel regret or sadness at no longer being able to enjoy the presence of. Data does not feel anything. Data cannot truly miss Lal.
“Yeah, I thought you would.”
“Geordi, are you upset?” He has come to this conclusion by studying Geordi’s face and behaviour carefully, noticing the signs that usually indicate sadness, but his brows furrow in confusion and Data realises that his assessment is incorrect. “No, I’m not. I’m just…sorry for your loss, I really am.”
“You do not have to be.”
Geordi pulls his hand from Data’s shoulder and stands up, visibly agitated. “Well, damn it, Data, someone has to be! She was your child!”
“I apologise, Geordi. Have I said something wrong?” What else would account for this sudden outburst?
“No. No, I’m sorry, Data, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just - hard to accept that you can be so, well, emotionless about all this. Guess I should be used to it by now, but it just really seems like you’re grieving, and to hear you say that you’re not - some things humans just can’t understand. I guess I’m grieving for both of us when I see you like this.” It echoes Lal’s penultimate coherent sentence, though Geordi is unlikely to be aware of this.
Normally, Data would ask Geordi what he means by ‘like this’, but the situation seems too volatile. “Thank you,” he says instead.
Geordi sighs. “No problem.” He looks at the painting again, and then once more. “Have you ever considered getting a cat?”
-
“His name is Spot,” Data says to a slightly apprehensive but jovial Geordi, the cat purring in his lap. He reminds Data of Lal, as was probably Geordi’s intention when he made the suggestion. He also reminds Data of the void where Lal used to be.
Much later, Data realises Geordi’s true intention. He wanted Data to have something besides Lal to focus on, and he has offered it in the form of a cat. And it has worked: instead of painting, Data is now attempting to find a feline supplement Spot is willing to eat. Instead of staring at all that Lal has seen, he ensures Spot receives adequate amounts of attention and affection, and is willing to give far more of both than necessary. And, slowly but steadily, the void is filled with new memories, and whenever one of Lal’s surfaces, he does not analyse it into nothingness. He simply welcomes it, and lets it be.