Chapter Text
Tomoe was exhausted beyond belief, and so terribly lonely. The curse had taken its toll on his physical body, his spirit fading away already. Death did not seem so bad at this point, even if it meant vanishing into nothingness. He just wanted the pain to stop.
He was wandering aimlessly, perhaps hoping to find a quiet place to die, when he stumbled and fell to the ground giving up. Mikage found him.
Mikage could already see the shadow of death in Tomoe's face, his amethyst eyes glazed, barely visible under his half-lowered eyelids.
"What has happened to you? You're covered in blood. Come. I'll get you cleaned up. It'll be okay," said the land god, leaning over the fox and gently brushing the silvery white strands of hair off his face. Worried, he adjusted his big, round glasses, then effortlessly picked the fox up and took him to his shrine.
On top of his general compassion for every living creature, yokai or not, the idea of something so beautiful dying made his heart ache. Mikage laid the fox down on a futon, and carefully proceeded to disrobe him to take a better look at the marks on his body. Tomoe was wrapped from head to toe in black stripes, which were getting wider as time passed, slowly constricting him and his life force.
"As I suspected. This is a spell cast by a being of divine evil," stated Mikage. "You must have made some kind of contract with a fallen god."
"I swore to spend the rest of my days with the human woman I love. That woman died, so I must part from this world as well," mumbled the fox faintly. "But I have failed to become human, so even death cannot take me to where Yukiji is." Tomoe curled up, his white fox ears plastering against his head as he hid his face.
"Was a human child precious to you?" Mikage asked, tenderly petting the fox's long hair.
"I loved her. More than anything in this world. I wished to be together with her… no matter the sacrifice," Tomoe whispered. "If you really are a god, will you at least be with me when I die?" He desperately tried to hold onto Mikage's yukata and stared at him with bright, teary eyes, too far gone from the pain, and too afraid and lonely to care about his pride.
"You poor creature," said Mikage. "But you will not die just yet; I can help you. In order to keep the balance of your bargain with the fallen god, you must become my familiar. And to alleviate your pain, each time the sun rises and sets, your heart's wounds will heal little by little. You will forget little by little. This is the power of oblivion."
Tomoe nodded faintly, closing his eyes. Mikage cradled him against his chest, then lowered his head towards the fox's lips. "The contract must be sealed by a kiss," informed Mikage, very slowly closing the distance between them. He gave the fox a chaste kiss. A soft and warm golden light enveloped them. Bright circles formed around Tomoe’s wrists, binding him to the god. Before Mikage could end the kiss, Tomoe opened his eyes, ears standing straight, and pulled the god over himself, kissing him deeply.
Tomoe moved his hands from Mikage's shoulders down to his chest and started to open Mikage's yukata. At this, Mikage broke the kiss and held Tomoe's hands, pinning them together. He then cradled the fox tight against his chest. "It's not that I don't find you beautiful my dear, nor is it that I don't want you. It is just not proper. You're my bound familiar now, there's too much of a power imbalance in that."
Tomoe tried to pull away and yet Mikage held him tightly but with care and kissed the top of his head. The fox went limp in his arms. The land god looked down at the beautiful creature nested between his arms and found that Tomoe was silently crying. He ran his fingers through the fox’s long hair in a soothing motion. "You can stay in my room if what you need is some company, I won't leave you alone."
*
Tomoe was very slowly settling into the shrine life, working on the garden and the general cleaning and maintenance of the place. As the days went by, he slept in Mikage’s bedroom most nights. Often, Tomoe kept trying to instigate more because he was not used to holding back from what he wanted. Wild fox that he was, he had not had much need to control his impulses until now. Mikage kept stopping him, gently but firmly, and insisting on the imbalances of their relationship, which only frustrated the fox further.
"Am I not good enough for you?” grunted the fox, ears lowered.
"Tomoe, you know is not…," said Mikage.
"Then what is it?" interrupted the fox, swishing his tail angrily. "I can refute all of your reasons. I can smell that you desire me too. Just admit that you wouldn't sleep with a lowly fox like me!" Tomoe hissed while storming out of the room.
He stomped into his own bedroom, still craving the god's warmth even as he put distance between them. His ego continuously crumbling down with the humiliation of having to put up with being treated as a pet or a child. He told himself that the fact that Mikage had not banished him entirely from his bedroom meant that there was still some hope for him to get what he wanted. Sometimes he wondered if he was tricking himself. His heart ached on the nights that he stayed alone, but he could not pinpoint the reason for it. Whenever he thought too hard about it, his brain went foggy. He curled up into a fetal position in his bed, covering his head with one pillow while hugging the other one between his arms and legs, tail wrapped around his hips.