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A Promise of You.
I’ve loved you all my life. Even before we met. Part of it wasn’t even you. It was just a promise of you.
~~ John Grisham.
Linus was disappointed, it was ridiculous he knew, but he was all the same. He certainly didn’t mind that Lucy had overheard and that all the kids knew. He certainly wanted to marry Arthur. He’d been thinking about marrying Arthur for weeks, months if he was honest. He didn’t think he’d ever wanted anything more. And he was euphoric to realize Arthur wanted that too. His stomach flopped at the prospect.
But after celebrating with the kids, explaining the situation with David, and Arthur not denying that marriage was discussed¸ Linus couldn’t help the lingering feeling of letdown. It was everything he wanted, naturally, but after getting everything, life shouldn’t have just gone back to normal.
Which is exactly what happened. Dinner was made. Dinner was eaten. Kids were put to bed. Arthur had kissed him on the corner of the mouth as they’d closed Lucy’s door and explained that he had to figure out lessons for the next couple of days and asked if Linus would start putting together a list of things they’d need to buy and get done before David arrived.
Linus was happy to do that. Happy to think about what they needed to help another child. Particularly happy to purge the basement and cleanse it of the trauma it played in Arthur’s life and turn it into a welcoming happy place. Let it redeem itself in helping them make David feel comfortable.
But was this it? Was this how it was going to happen? Arthur’s passing comment about changing the status of their situation was how it was going to be decided. It was how it was going to be determined that Linus was going to be married? This was how his forever began? His first night as a to-be-married man spent at the kitchen table with a to-do list and a causally written down series of possible paint color combinations.
There hadn’t even been a proposal. Or even an asking. It had been merely a suggestion, granted a weighted one. But surely someone should actually ask someone, and he didn’t know why but he’d always imagined Arthur asking him. I mean, there was no reason he couldn’t do the asking, of course. He was perfectly capable of getting some flowers and lighting some candles. He could buy a ring and get down on one knee. Certainly, Arthur wouldn’t think he was being outlandish or traditional or stupid.
Arthur knew him better than anyone had ever known him, better than he knew himself. He wouldn’t think it was silly or—”
“Linus?” the voice drew him back to the kitchen and his attention towards the doorway where Arthur was standing, frowning.
“Yeah,” Linus responded, forcing a smile onto his face.
“Are you coming to bed?” Arthur asked, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was late, much later than Linus was usually up.
“Um,” Linus glanced down at the papers in front of him, he’d been selfish, preoccupied. He hadn’t given David’s arrival the attention it deserved. He needed to look at what type of extra bedding they had and what kind. Get measurements for the basement so he could figure out how much of the yet-to-be-determined paint was needed. What size bed did they need to buy? How many fans would be needed to maintain the desired temperatures? Not to mention the fact that he wasn’t sure he wanted to give Arthur too much insight into his mood tonight. “I still have a couple of more things to do,” he said, looking back at the papers as Arthur moved across the room towards him. “I need to go down and get some measurements.” Arthur’s fingers brushed across his jaw and gently tilted his head up, stopping Linus’s stream of consciousness talking.
“What’s wrong, dear heart?” Arthur asked quietly, sharp eyes roaming over Linus’s face. “Are you worried about taking in David?”
“Ab—No, absolutely not,” he stammered, gesturing towards the paper he’d been working on as if that would somehow explain everything.
“We can take measurements tomorrow then,” Arthur said, his voice still calm and kind and eyes staying locked on Linus. “I’ll help you, we’ll make quick work of it.”
“Okay,” Linus said, glancing at the list. “Then yeah,” Arthur didn’t back up as Linus stood, and Linus suddenly became aware of Arthur’s familiar heat and very, very close proximity. Linus cleared his throat and looked up into that beautiful face. Arthur was tired and a bit worried, probably because Linus was sitting here being strange.
“I love you,” Arthur said and something settled low in Linus’s belly. He was still disappointed. He couldn’t change that. And he still wasn’t sure where they stood in the process. He could ask, but looking at Arthur he knew that it didn’t matter. This man was all that mattered.
“I love you too,” he replied, standing on his tiptoes to place his lips against Arthur’s. “Let's go to bed,” he whispered into the space between them, still seeing the hints of a frown on Arthur’s face. He wasn’t convinced, but he also wouldn’t push. He nodded, kissing Linus’s nose, and held out a hand that Linus took easily.
Linus sighed, opening the trunk to look at everything he’d bought today. The paint. The bedding. The window coverings. He’d brought industrial cleaners to help them clear all the soot and arranged delivery of the bed and the fans for the following Monday. He set the cans of paint by the front door, and went back to the car for all the bags and frowned. He’d expected to be bombarded by kids eager to help and see what he bought. He looked around the yard and didn’t see anyone, or any sign of anyone. No Thalia. No Phee. The sun was getting low in the sky, it was almost dinner time, the kids should all be heading back towards the house. He’d promised Theodore that he’d pick up some ribbons at the craft store, if nothing else the wyvern should be here to collect. Linus had even bought the shiny iridescent kind of ribbon because he knew Theodore would love it.
“Hello,” he said to the emptiness and received no reply. His frown deepened, as he made his way into the house, stopping dead as soon as he opened the door. The warm chaotic home he’d left this morning was now an immaculately clean home. He dropped the bags by the stairs and continued to move through the house. There were no lights on in their living room, but there were a dozen or so candles of varying sizes lit on their coffee table.
“Hello?” he asked again moving into the kitchen. Candles were spread across the table set for two. There was a selection of dishes spread amongst the candles and he recognized all his favorites.
“What’s going on? Where is everyone?”
“With Zoe,” said the calm voice suddenly behind him in the doorway. Linus turned quickly to see Arthur standing there, looking like Linus had never seen him. Dressed up. He was wearing a crisp white oxford shirt, with dark grey pants with a sharp pleat that reached all the way to his shiny cordovan shoes(not a hint of sock to be seen) and he was even wearing a tie. Linus recognized it as one of his own, but he didn’t even know Arthur knew how to tie one. His hair was neat, and he was wearing one of Linus’s favorite grins.
“What’s going on?” he repeated gesturing to the table and then to the outfit.
“Isn’t it obvious, my dear man, I wanted to do something nice for you. Something romantic for us.” Linus’s cheeks started to hurt from his grin, but he found he couldn’t care.
“Why?” he asked, touching the cotton tablecloth that he didn’t know that they owned until now.
Arthur chuckled. “Because I love you and you give and give us everything and ask for nothing in return. I wanted to give you something in return. And while I thought you’d appreciate handmade crafts from all the children, I am inherently more selfish than you and decided to plan something more grown-up.”
“You aren’t selfish,” Linus said, holding a hand out to bring Arthur fully into the room. Their fingers wove together perfectly.
“I think you’d be surprised, dear heart,” Arthur replied, leaning to kiss Linus on the cheek. “But this night is about you, love, so let’s sit down and eat.”
“Should I change?” Linus asked, noting that his t-shirt and shorts hardly measured up to the outfit Arthur had put on.
“Of course not,” Arthur said, holding out a chair. “Unless you want to wear noticeably less, of course.”
“Oh hush,” Linus said, sitting down in his seat as Arthur chuckled behind him.
The conversation was slow at first, as they each enjoyed the meal, but took off when Linus started talking about what he’d bought today and what still needed to be done. Arthur told him about the kids' lessons today and that they were all putting together welcoming gifts for David and how excited they were to spend the night at Zoe’s during the week.
“Why tonight?” Linus asked, sitting back in his chair and resting his hand on his full stomach. “We could have just done our usual date night.”
“I wanted to surprise you,” Arthur said, smiling at him across the table. “I wanted it to be special and out of the ordinary.”
“Everything is out of the ordinary here,” Linus said, and Arthur laughed.
“Very true, my love, including you, my perfectly rational man of constant surprise.” Linus blushed, looking down at his plate. Arthur had told him once that making Linus blush was one of his goals each day. And it would remain so until Linus realized that everything that Arthur was telling him was true. Which had only made Linus blush more, because really, some of the things Arthur seemed to appreciate in bed were simply impossible to believe.
“I hardly think I’m surprising,” Linus muttered.
“And yet you manage to surprise me almost daily,” Arthur replied, smiling as Linus felt his face burn.
Linus looked up at the sound of Arthurs chair pushing back moving to Linus’s side of the table, holding out a hand.
“Perhaps you’ll join me upstairs and we continue the discussion about surprises.” Linus took the offered hand and stood up. His lips parting slightly as Arthur leaned down, kissing him.
Arms wrapped around bodies as the kiss deepened immediately. Linus tasted the sweet hint of the wine as Arthur hummed against him. They were too old to have sex in the kitchen, and the table probably wouldn’t hold both of their weight anyway. But the living room was just through the doorway.
“Couch,” Linus mumbled as Arthur pulled out of the kiss and started to nibble on Linus’s ear in the way that always made his knees wobble. Arthur groaned and pulled back.
“Upstairs,” he said, almost regretfully. Which didn’t make any sense, but Linus wasn’t thinking straight, and upstairs would be fine.
Arthur was right behind him the whole way and Linus could feel the increase in Arthur’s body heat as they went. Arthur always had so much control over his temperature and Linus always had a feeling of pride when Arthur started to get to warm. He especially loved the nights where he went to bed with red handprints all over his body, not hot enough to burn, but hot enough to leave an impression. And all the mornings where hints of the marks remained were the most memorable. Maybe tomorrow could be one of those mornings, he thought, until he entered their bedroom.
He gasped. The box was in the middle of the bed, surrounded by a collection of dark red roses. Linus could smell them from the doorway. He felt tears in his eyes and he stepped towards the bed noticing a collection of six envelopes next to the roses. He recognized the children’s handwriting, with Sal’s appearing twice, Linus assumes for Theodore.
Behind him, Arthur’s voice caught as he started to speak. “When I told the children they were spending the night at Zoe’s they asked why. I was nervous and couldn’t hold up to the pestering, so I told them. They all insisted that they write you notes arguing my case because they were sure I was going to blow it.”
Linus laughed, reaching to brush his fingers across the notes. That sounded exactly like what their kids would do. He wanted desperately to know what was in them, but not now. Instead, he reached for the small box on the bed. The ring was black, which was surprising, but there was a gold inlay. As he picked it up the gold caught the light and it looked like it was on fire. And he knew instantly why Arthur had picked this one. It burned, like the phoenix.
He turned finally to see Arthur still in the doorway, looking more worried and anxious than Linus could ever remember.
“I’ll be sure to tell them that you didn’t blow it,” Linus said, smiling as the tears burned his eyes.
A smile lit Arthur’s face as he made his way into the room and cupped Linus’s cheeks in warm palms. Linus noticed Arthur had to take a steadying breath and it flip-flopped in his heart.
“My dear, dear Linus. I certainly haven’t had an easy life, but before you I had goals and a mission. Was I happy? Sometimes, but it isn’t something that I gave much thought to. My happiness didn’t matter. And then you came to this island and changed everything. You brought with you unimaginable joy that I didn’t know I could feel. You brought unconditional love for children who didn’t know that it existed outside of this island. You challenge me personally, philosophically, and make me strive to be better every single day. You give me someone to love and you love me in return. And making you happy is the best thing I have ever known.” Arthur’s voice catches again, and Linus notices the tears in his eyes just as he leans forward and places a kiss on Linus’s forehead. A split-second later Arthur is sinking to the floor grabbing Linus’s left hand and placing a kiss where this ring will one day sit.
“You are my best friend and my greatest pleasure and I would be honored if you’d join me on this greatest of adventures and marry me?”
Linus vaguely realized that Arthur still looked nervous, as if there was some doubt as to the answer. He would have found that funny under any other circumstance, but not today.
“Yes,” he said quietly, leaning down to kiss his fiancé and he felt the tension release from the tall frame as he stood again wrapping his arms around Linus.
“Yes,” Linus said again pushing back to meet his teary dark eyes “I love you so much, Arthur, so very, very much.”
And they were kissing again, and Linus barely had the presence of mind to collect his letters and set them neatly on the dresser before they collapsed onto the bed.
Linus lay propped up against the headboard with Arthur’s head resting on his chest. A long finger was tracing the absentminded pattern along his stomach, something that used to horrify him, but that he’d gotten used to thanks to Arthur’s constant praise.
“It really is perfect,” Linus said, admiring his ring.
“I thought so,” Arthur said, propping up so he could look at Linus and moving his vague tracings up to Linus’s chest. “Are you going to wear it now?”
Linus stared at the box for a long moment and then back to Arthur. “Do you think I should? Or do you think I should wait until we have a ceremony? I don’t know how I feel about being the only one wearing one, since I don’t have one for you yet.”
Arthur nodded. “So do you want me to hang onto it until we pick a—”
Linus snapped the box closed and held it out of reach. “I’ll keep it safe,” he said. “It’s mine after all.” Arthur chuckled and buried his face in Linus’s neck as Linus put the ring box on his nightstand.
Two weeks later Arthur walked into his office while Linus was finishing up the nighttime routine. David was starting in full-time regular lessons tomorrow and Arthur wanted to look at some of the evaluations he’d done to make sure he was steering the lessons correctly. The Yeti had taken to Linus immediately, which wasn’t a surprise but was still warming up to Arthur and the others. Getting into the regular lessons would help.
But as Arthur sat at his desk, he noticed a small box sitting there that hadn’t been there that afternoon. There was a note propped against it written in Linus’s familiar hand.
“Since I’m keeping mine, it only makes sense that you keep yours. I love you more than anything. Thank you for hammering away at my bubble. Linus XOXO”
Arthur smiled and wondered if he should wait for Linus to join him to open it. But then, Linus had left it on his desk for him to find. He reached for the black box and lifted the lid, face lighting up as he saw the ring.
In the middle was a slim plain gold band, as traditional as his Linus could be, but there were two silver bands on either side with a hammered pattern. Arthur would have understood the reference without the note, but that didn’t stop him from tucking the words neatly into the top drawer of his desk to save, probably forever.
He was still tracing his fingers over the cool metal when Linus came into the office.
“It’s perfect,” Arthur said before Linus even closed the door.
“I thought so,” he said smiling. “Now we just have to pick a date.”
“Tomorrow,” Arthur said, only half-joking as Linus started to laugh.
“I was thinking Saturday in two weeks,” Linus counteroffered. And Arthur frowned trying to think of the significance of that day. Other than it being—
“Since we're starting our next great adventure, Adventure Saturday seemed appropriate.” A grin spread across Arthur’s face as Linus made his way around the desk.
“Sounds perfect,” Arthur replied just as Linus’s lips pressed against his