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“Akutagawa, look at this one!” Atsushi pointed to the magnet on the fridge with something about fishing on it that Akutagawa couldn't be bothered to read.
Akutagawa coughed, slightly annoyed at the blinking red light coming from the ceiling. “That is the most hideous magnet I’ve ever seen, jinko. It’s somehow worse than the one I have with your face on it.”
“Wait you have a magnet with m-”
“The point is, jinko, if we’re going to break and enter for some fridge magnets, those better be the best magnets imaginable.”
“Can...can we step back a little? You have a fridge magnet with my face on it?”
Akutagawa paid him no mind and walked into the living room.
“Are those the only fridge magnets in this place?” He huffed before coughing as a result. “Disgusting.”
“Well...fridge magnets are generally found...on the fridge.”
“I have the one with your face on it on my nightstand.” Akutagawa replied. “Speaking of, we should get out of here before the tenants come home.”
“That...isn’t at all related to what we were talking about…”
“Are you taking the fridge magnet or not, jinko?”
“I don't know…” Atsushi looked longingly at the magnet. “Is stealing like this okay? I am a detective…”
“I know the tenants, they don't care. They've been talking about throwing it away anyway.” That was a lie, of course. Akutagawa couldn’t care less about who lived here.
“Well, then it's alright isn't it?”
“Jinko, I’m in the mafia and have killed several people. Do not ask me for moral guidance.”
Atsushi yoinked the magnet and nodded to Akutagawa, neither of them noticing that the annoying blinking light was from a security camera. Due to that, they had no clue that somewhere, someplace about three miles away a certain brunet and a certain redhead had been watching the entire time.
“Oh, Chuuya! They’re homos!” Dazai sobbed. “Ah heem, heem, whimper! It feels like just yesterday they were trying to kill each other…” He pantomimed wiping his eyes with a tissue.
“Have I ever told you how much I hate you?” Chuuya replied.
“Yeah, love you too.”
Maybe it was for the best that Akutagawa and Atsushi didn’t know the whole thing was set up by their superiors.