Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Basically: bOYS

Nogla: wot

Basically: WERE ON THE BOARD

Wildcat: Board of what???

Basically: Somebody made a dating sim of us :D

Panda: Ew

Vanoss: ^

Wildcat: So we’re on the extra stalker fangirls list good to know

Terroriser: I thought we were on that list already

                 Or at least Vanoss is ahem

Vanoss: :I

FourZer0: So…

Moo: Don’t say it

FourZer0: Who’s gonna play it

Moo: Oh my god

Terroriser: LMAO

Basically: Yo let’s play hunger games and whoever loses plays it

Wildcat: Shut up minecraft nerd

Basically: It’s better than being a fortnite nerd

Wildcat: Shit u right

Vanoss: I’m in :)

Little did Evan know, those were his dying words.

Well, not exactly, but he might as well die after playing that dating sim, because he will have seen everything.

Chapter Text

“‘Kay I’m bootin’ it up...this is a fanservice game. If you’re uncomfortable with that, exit out. Okay, good game guys!”

“Evannn~” Marcel whined from Discord. Him and Brian wanted to be there for the very first impressions; mainly, hearing Evan cringe and suffer.

Evan rolled his eyes and clicked next. The menu popped in and there was a collage of fanart of all the members, like a school album. “Well, the art style is nice.”

“Wait, Evan, show your screen!” Brian said, and Evan did. The two backseat gamers ooh-ed.

“Haha, look at Delirious!”

Evan did get stuck on Delirious’ face. He had seen many different fanart versions of the guy, yet this one was the most popular. Bright blue eyes staring back through the eye holes of the hockey mask, black hair messily sticking up from the top. Blue hoodie on, that’s a given.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Evan mumbled to himself more than anything, and the other two giggled.

Evan blinked for a moment and then grinned, “Guess who’s making all y’all gay?!”

Brian burst into snorts while Marcel chuckled, “Never say all y’all again.”

The game let you pick your gender. Evan went with the male option. And put his own name in.

“Alright! I’m going to die of cringe, let’s go!”

The dating sim was so cliche from the first minutes already that it hurt. You were a new kid at a new school. On the first day you bumped into VANOSS (And yes, for some reason it only had everyone’s channel nicknames in all caps as the reference names) and he invited you to sit with his crew, in case somebody decided to go “fresh meat” on you. Evan thought his character was nicely portrayed. Marcel had the wild idea of making Evan play his own route for extra meta moments but Brian shut it down.

“We all know who he’s gonna pick.”

“Oh… hehe.”

“Hehe.”

“What,” Evan feigned ignorance and Brian seemed to buy it, just telling him not to worry about it and click on the option of joining the crew for lunch.

It pretty much skipped to lunch time and Evan’s character was bombarded with all the members.

“Okay, but our personalities are pretty well portrayed,” Evan said, smiling a little. In the game, it was time for Delirious to introduce himself. He noticed that in the game, he was actually a brunette which meant that the collage in the menu was probably some older yearbook. 

??: And I’m Delirious! Nice to meetcha!

--: Mans be wearing a mask and yet the eyes looking through.... Oof.

--: He looks friendly enough, though. If it weren’t for the creepy mask.

“They just had to make everyone’s poses really extra, though.” Brian scoffed

“Well, I wouldn’t expect anything else from Delirious if we saw him in real life, to be honest,” Evan chuckled. “True, true,” Marcel nodded behind his computer screen, but nobody would have seen that.

“Oh shit,” Evan was given an option for what class he has next. Since the game had all nine of the OG ones whose YT channels are pretty much still kicking, nine choices would have, of course, been too much. So instead, there were four. “And this is where the dilemma comes in.”

“What dilemma, you can just pick whatever!” Brian exclaimed but then snickered again. “Or what, if you’re already playing it you want to play it right?”

“No! Just...ah, fuck you,” Evan picked an option.

Evan: I have Biology

DELIRIOUS: Ooh! Me too!

TERRORISER: Ditto.

NOGLA: What the fuck, Terroriser, you’ve never used ‘ditto’.

TERRORISER: Well, I felt like using it now!

DELIRIOUS: Kchhh~

--: DELIRIOUS’ wheeze is something else…

--: So I’m stuck with the creepy guy and android for a while. Great.

“Why would I go for Biology, though?” Brian pondered and Marcel also commented on that. But Evan was too busy cursing himself for picking a Delirious option, even if it was random. As soon as the two were done debating if Brian was good at dissecting frogs they’d pounce. They always do. Well, Marcel not as much but Brian…

“Shit, I gotta go. But you better text me later and say how the first session went!” luckily, Brian had to leave.

Marcel dropped soon after, because it was the middle of the night and he wanted to go to sleep. So Evan was left alone to suffer through TERRORISER and DELIRIOUS bickering over vital organs in the game, while his own character was only given a few options that would obviously steer his route towards one or the other.

And he managed to pick all of DELIRIOUS’ sided options. Whoever controls fate or whatever was really testing him today.

TERRORISER: I’m starting to think you don’t like me at all!

Evan: I’m sorry, but DELIRIOUS made the bigger points.

--: TERRORISER dejectedly nods, knowing I’m somewhat right. DELIRIOUS frowns over his friend’s defeated look.

DELIRIOUS: But the thing with the lungs is still very important to know! You gained mad lead for that. But then Evan went in with the technicalities.

Evan: Wow, and now you’re blaming me.

DELIRIOUS: Yup!

--: TERRORISER smiles.

TERRORISER: Don’t drive the new kid away from us too soon!

--: I blink at that response.

--: I vouched for DELIRIOUS right now...does he not like that?

DELIRIOUS: Well, he needs to learn that to be with us you need to roast literally everyone 24/7.

TERRORISER: Alright, that’s true.

--: DELIRIOUS looks at me, probably grinning under that mask.

DELIRIOUS: Now clap back.

Evan: Uh-

--: Shit.

[“Sorry, you’re stuck with me!”]

[“I didn’t want to be in your horror club anyway!”]

[“You were also bad, DELIRIOUS.”]

[“I don’t like being put on the spot…”]

Evan: I mean, how do you not know how you can get popcorn lung so easily?

--: DELIRIOUS nods, chuckling a little.

DELIRIOUS: I’m sorry, O’ good Evan, our lord and saviour of biology!

TERRORISER: Meaning, he’s gonna cheat off of you from now.

Evan: I can tutor you!

--: Wait, why did I say that?

DELIRIOUS: Really?!

--: His eyes are literally sparkling.

--: What.

--: In the everloving-

“Alright…” Evan rubbed his face. “I’m doomed.”

---

Evan ended up playing through the first “episode” in the span of three hours. There were more general get-to-know scenes and the supposed tutor session ended the episode. It was thirty whole minutes of DELIRIOUS goodness, ugh.

Despite Evan still disliking this whole thing, he had to admit that the game creators have everyone’s personas pretty much down.

It was Thursday in the game when Evan’s character was invited to DELIRIOUS’ house for the evening to give him some learning advice. Because that was literally what it was. No tutoring, just telling the masked dumbass how to actually study.

DELIRIOUS: Listen!

--: Is he this loud all the time?

DELIRIOUS: I know what to study, I just don’t know how to!

Evan: …

Evan: You’re kidding, right?

DELIRIOUS: No. My brain is weird.

--: No doubt about that…

Evan: Well…

[“I don’t know what to tell you at this point.”]

[“Have you tried visual learning?”]

[“Have you tried auditory earning?”]

[“Have you tried writing revision?”]

DELIRIOUS: Have I tried wha.

Evan: Ok so, bear with me here.

DELIRIOUS: WAIT, WHERE’S THE BEAR?!?!?!

--: …

--: This mans.

Evan actually chuckled at that.

Evan: When I’m struggling with a certain thing I rewrite the important parts in it. And then I have the muscle memory!

DELIRIOUS: …

DELIRIOUS: Well, excuse me but I don’t have muscles.

--: DELIRIOUS rolls up the left sleeve of his hoodie and then smacks his bare arm. It makes a pretty loud sound, like the arm is nothing but bones. Looks that way, too.

Evan: That’s not what I meant but-

DELIRIOUS: So~, sorry! But that’s dumb.

DELIRIOUS: You’re a dumb, Evan, haha~

“Look who’s talking!” Evan shouted out, quite obviously annoyed by how Delirious was portrayed in this scenario. Sure, he dumbs down during games but Evan’s often seen the masked man be very clever. He had to admit, though, the other’s dumbness was cute. Both in this game and real life.

Evan: Hey, listen to me!

DELIRIOUS: I don’t have to. I was just joking. I’ll try that out.

Evan: Wha- really?

--: He moves the conversation so quickly, I can’t keep up.

DELIRIOUS: Yeah! But I hope you know…

--: DELIRIOUS leans uncomfortably close to me, his eyes piercing through my soul.

DELIRIOUS: If this doesn’t work for me then you’ll have major friend points taken off.

Evan: ...I didn’t know you measured friendship.

--: DELIRIOUS leans back away from me, but his warmth stays with me.

--: …

--: We watch three episodes of South Park on Netflix for the rest of the evening, until I have to go home.

--: For some reason, I linger at the front doorway, and DELIRIOUS notices my unease.

DELIRIOUS: Kchhh! Are you actually thinking I won’t like you just because your advice didn’t work?

Evan: Well, no. I’ve been around you four days and I know you’re not such a snake.

DELIRIOUS: Ayy.

--: I snort. DELIRIOUS also wheezes.

Evan: Just...There’s something I was wondering, but it doesn’t matter…

DELIRIOUS: If you say so!

--: His eyes squint and I can tell he’s smiling.

--: I really want to see his face.

--: Why was he wearing the mask the whole day? I thought it was just a school gimmick.

--: Is he hiding scars? Horrible disfigurement?

--: Is he Voldemort?

--: My mind is going off the rails.

Evan: So...yeah! See you tomorrow.

DELIRIOUS: Bye bye!

--: I leave the house with questions in my mind and a strange feeling in my chest, though I don’t dwell on it for long.

--: Almost home, my phone rings.

TERRORISER: Hey, Evan! How was teaching the dumbass?

Evan: I...It went good, I think. Though, he really kept me at edge with all the threats…

TERRORISER: Mmm yeah, that’s his self-protection shtick, but I’m sure he eased up around you.

Evan: ...self-protection shtick?

TERRORISER: Ah, well…

--: There is silence on the other end for a while before TERRORISER sighs.

TERRORISER: You didn’t hear this from me, alright? But, DELIRIOUS has been like this since we met him. It took a long time for him to trust any of us. 

TERRORISER: Only VANOSS truly knows what’s holding him back from being open from the start, I think. Maybe you could talk to him if you want to know more?

--: A troubled past. Mistakes. A horrible secret. My mind reeling with the scenarios again.

--: Damn it, DELIRIOUS is so mysterious.

--: Well, fuck being mysterious.

--: I’m going to find out his secrets one way or another!

As if fate was waiting for it again, Evan’s phone vibrated as soon as the episode ended. It was the man in question. Fuck.

Delirious

What up!!!!!!!!!

Aren’t you chipper

Feeling better?

Nope!

It’s even worse

:(

I told you doctors ain’t gonna do shit

Just drink that acc thing and the worst cough medicine you know

Why do you want me to suffer more? :(((

:(((

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

LMAO what else did you need me for?

Oh!

Just that my voice is completely gone

And I have prerecorded videos but don’t even think about adding me to sessions for at least a week

Aw :(

I’ll manage

Without you

:,(

Shut up dramatic bitch

Wish you a pleasant recovery bitch

Thank you :)

:)

Evan sighed, putting his phone away. That was enough of questioning his life choices for the day.

---

The next day their private discord group chat was bombarded with questions about how the game was. Evan didn’t have the willpower to answer honestly. So he just said it was cringe, yet kinda okay. So far.

But then Brian just had to sneak in the fact that Evan was already going the Delirious route and David went ballistic.

Vanoss: Well I shut that down quickly. The one-on-one didn’t go well

Terroriser: BITCH ASDFGHJKL

Nogla: NOOOOOOOOO

Vanoss: Wtf

Wildcat: Ok Nogla and Brian are getting muted

Basically: A wise choice

Vanoss bit his lip. He needed to actually talk about this to someone.

Vanoss

I lied, I think the date part went well

I haven’t played more and kinda left on a cliffhanger but

:/

Wildcat

I’m crying

SHUT UP

I NEED HELP

Why tho

Like

Can you pls tell Nogla and Terroriser to get off my back????

Fine

But

What are your feelings for this whole situation then?

Wow

I trusted you

;)

All I know is that you’ve been super pouty ever since Delirious fell sick a week ago

And if that doesn’t say something then….

I’m leaving

Drama queen

Still leaving

You know I’m free to talk if you need it right?

Not that I know shit about gay feelings but

PFF

Yes 🙄

Bye

Later

---

A few days later, the boys had their usual session of GMod Deathrun and then Skribbl.io. Him, Brian, Brock, David and Marcel.

When it was over, and David had to leave, Evan decided to at least tell everyone else. “Think I’m gonna play chapter two after this.”

“Of what?” Marcel asked but after a moment of silence he continued with a smug, “Oooooh.”

Brock chuckled, “Post updates!”

“Why would I?”

“Cuz we want to know how bad the game is!” Brock answered Evan with a blatant lie. Evan was pretty sure Brock was also going on the DELIRIOUS route hype train.

“Okay, well...sure.”

Some twenty minutes later of light conversation and some scheduling later, the call was ended and Evan sneered at the dating sim game icon in its folder.

“Why am I so pressed about this? It’s just a game,” Evan sighed and launched it.

Chapter Text

Apparently Evan’s advice during the “first date” worked.

DELIRIOUS: Dude!

--: Okay.

--: This is either gonna go really good or really bad.

DELIRIOUS: I was on fire!

WILDCAT: I wish you were on fire most of the time, yes.

DELIRIOUS: No shut up!

DELIRIOUS: Evan!

DELIRIOUS: Your advice worked miracles, I was able to get most of the exercises done!

--: WILDCAT raises an eyebrow.

WILDCAT: Advice?

Evan: Ah, well...I suggested that DELIRIOUS write all the important parts down so then maybe he’ll have the muscle memory.

PANDA: Ooooh, I use that technique! It’s really specific for people, though.

PANDA: Like, I told BASICALLY to do it one time and he had an ever harder time with that Math test.

WILDCAT: Oh, the one he raged for in the middle of class?

WILDCAT: You’re the one who caused that scene?

--: WILDCAT grins sadistically and I am now alarmed.

WILDCAT: That shit made my whole month, I now owe you.

--: PANDA and WILDCAT laugh as they seem to walk faster, leaving me and DELIRIOUS behind them.

DELIRIOUS: So, yeah! Thanks for that.

[“Any time!”]

[“Whatever. Wasn’t that big of a deal.”]

[“You owe me.”]

[“Ok.”]

As much as Evan wanted to sabotage this whole thing, he still picked the [Any time!] option. All of the other options were just plain rude. Except maybe the [Ok.] one, but Evan wasn’t about to play this thing in passive. He was already doing this so he was going to play it right.

Right being… wooing DELIRIOUS?

Shut up, brain, not now.

--: DELIRIOUS grins and then goes to catch up to the other two.

--: I look around.

VANOSS: Eyy, there’s the fresh meat!

Evan: AAAH!

--: I turn around as I yell. VANOSS just looks at me smugly.

Evan: Okay. Never do that again.

[“Please”]

[...]

Weird choice. Whatever.

[“Please”]

[...]

VANOSS: Well, as I see it, you’re trying to steal my best friend, so I’m just trying to keep you on your toes!

--: Oh.

--: Oh, that’s cute, actually.

--: VANOSS and DELIRIOUS.

“Wow, even if I don’t go this route, they still imply it with the game characters. What do I fucking expect?!” Evan rubbed his temples as his phone kept vibrating. He didn’t check the notifications and simply turned the phone on silent.

[“About that…”]

[“Oh no, I’m just being like I usually am.”]

[“You ever heard of writing revision?”]

[“I guess I’ll back off then.”]

Evan: Friendly and happy to help!

VANOSS: Sure. I was joking, of course.

--: VANOSS rubs the back of his head. Or, well, mask.

VANOSS: We have a few minutes before class starts. You wanna know about anything?

[Ask about BASICALLY.]

[Ask about DELIRIOUS.]

[Ask about FOURZER0.]

[Ask about MOO.]

[Ask about NOGLA.]

[Ask about PANDA.]

[Ask about TERRORISER.]

[Ask about VANOSS.]

[Ask about WILDCAT.]

Oh, now we’re doing the nine choices. Okay. No problem.

VANOSS: DELIRIOUS is my best friend.

VANOSS: He is kind of an airhead but it’ll grow on you, trust me.

VANOSS: Our school has split it so you can choose between Art or Drama. DELIRIOUS takes Art.

VANOSS: Anything else you want to know?

[DELIRIOUS’ hobbies.]

[DELIRIOUS’ favorites]

[DELIRIOUS’ mask]

VANOSS: Haha, was bound to come up eventually.

VANOSS: I’ll just say that if you force him to show his face before he’s ready to show you…

VANOSS: ...I’ll end you.

--: Okay, I’m terrified now.

[DELIRIOUS’ hobbies]

[DELIRIOUS’ favorites]

[Insist on DELIRIOUS’ mask]

VANOSS: Well, he just doesn’t like how he looks, long story short.

VANOSS: Stop asking.

--: Well.

--: I guess I got to know more about DELIRIOUS, but now VANOSS probably doesn’t like me nosing around.

--: It’s no big deal. It’s only been a week.

--: Great friendships take longer than that to form.

--: If I’ll even end up being integrated to their group in the end.

The game was literally telling the player to not be a passive player. Nice.

Somehow he also predicted that if he went the DELIRIOUS route then VANOSS would be mad. Maybe even vice versa. Because this was obviously made by a shipper, they’d put this sorta subtext in here, 100 percent. Doesn’t matter. 

Just a game.

It doesn’t mean anything.

…

...

...

Evan bit the inside of his cheek. Of course it fucking meant something. At least for him.

---

The whole first part of the second “episode” was Evan getting alone time with each of the characters and them prompting to ask about anyone. Since Evan was in a nihilistic mood, and in this for the long run, anyway, he ended up always asking about DELIRIOUS.

WILDCAT: DELIRIOUS? Yeah, he’s a retard. And I mean that in the most adoring way possible.

BASICALLY: DELIRIOUS is a nerd. That should be obvious by now.

TERRORISER: DELIRIOUS gets on my last nerves sometimes, honestly. But, he’s a great friend.

MOO: So, fun fact. None of us have seen DELIRIOUS rage yet. And him, BASICALLY and FOURZER0 have been hanging out since elementary!

FOURZER0: DELIRIOUS will win you over with his dumbassery alone!

PANDA: DELIRIOUS just has this charm that draws you in. He’s annoying, and yet he’s not.

NOGLA: DELIRIOUS is a bitch. But he’s our bitch. Haha!

Evan felt pretty endeared after that whole exposure. Yes, everybody should love Delirious. And then Evan was prompted to choose between that split.

DELIRIOUS takes Art so Evan will fucking take Art.

Fuck everything.

Only VANOSS and TERRORISER also took art. Great. This was going to go oh so great.

Evan saved the game and stretched in his chair exaggeratedly. “I need to stop…”

He finally checked his phone notifications. The guys had snitched that he was playing the dating sim again and everyone was demanding for updates.

Vanoss: I’m taking a break from it because there was the obligatory plot dump part.

Wildcat: Lmao and what did you learn?

Vanoss: That even if this is a dating sim game

             The game creator still had specific ships in mind

             I asked VANOSS about DELIRIOUS and VANOSS got mad lmao

Terroriser: LMAO

Vanoss: Shut up there’s also terrornuckel subplot

Moo: Oh

Terroriser: Nice :)

Vanoss: Ugh I’m getting food

---

Evan: Wait so…you never eat school lunch?

DELIRIOUS: Nope!

-–: He sounds like he’s grinning, but I’m not buying it.

-–: How does the rest of the gang even explain this?

-–: What, just because mans wants to hide his face he deprives himself of basic human necessities?

DELIRIOUS: Listen, I’m good. Got a granola bar in my pocket and everything.

Evan: …

[Buy DELIRIOUS lunch]

[Make the others buy him lunch]

[“If you say you’re fine, then…]

Evan: Okay. So what do you want?

DELIRIOUS: Heeh?

Evan: I’m gonna buy you lunch!

WILDCAT: Ooooh, I knew we should’ve kept this guy around. Man’s rich, apparently

NOGLA: Buy him one apple. That’s it.

VANOSS: Nah, if he’s gonna offer, then you better buy my man right here a full course meal!

-–: VANOSS pulls DELIRIOUS into a headlock. DELIRIOUS lets out an indignant yell.

To be completely transparent, Evan reeled in the anticipation of seeing a cartoon Delirious without his mask on. He was that down bad, apparently.

So imagine his disappointment, when the next CG was DELIRIOUS with just the lower part of his mask removed.

Evan: …

DELIRIOUS: What? Were you expecting a face reveal so soon?

-–: DELIRIOUS took off the lower part of his mask, that was apparently a separate attachment.

-–: Good to know the mask is custom made. Must’ve cost a fortune.

--: Anyway.

-–: I’ve been tricked, I’ve been backstabbed, and I’ve been quite possibly bamboozled.

Evan: Well, no…

PANDA: Oh, he was definitely hoping for something.

BASICALLY: Biggest “sike” of his life.

-–: The rest of the gang laugh at me.

-–: I kinda deserve it.

-–: DELIRIOUS just keeps smiling at me.

DELIRIOUS: Well, thanks for the food, anyway.

Evan: ...

Evan: Any time.

-–: I smile, despite myself.

-–: VANOSS snickers next to me.

VANOSS: He’s definitely a secret rich kid.

FOURZER0: Oh my god, can you buy me the next COD game when it comes out?

Evan: Shut up!

The rest of the “episode” involved joining the gang for a hangout at the arcade. Evan stuck with the group consisting of DELIRIOUS, FOURZER0 and BASICALLY.

-–: We’re looking at an arcade zombie shooter. It has prop guns and everything. You can play solo or have a two-player co-op campaign.

[Co-op with BASICALLY]

[Co-op with DELIRIOUS]

[Co-op with FOURZER0]

Evan: DELIRIOUS, you wanna go?

DELIRIOUS: Yup! Let’s do this!

-–: We pick the characters and get in the game.

-–: Ugh. I don’t think these makeshift guns have been cleaned since the arcade was opened.

-–: I grip the green gun. It’s kinda sticky. And there’s a weird stain on where the cock of a gun would be.

-–: The other one isn’t that great either. It has red prints on the handle.

DELIRIOUS: Oh shit. That has to be blood

BASICALLY: Somebody nosebled on it.

FOURZER0: Ew. Glad you didn’t ask me to play, Evan.

BASICALLY: Oh no, we’re going after them.

–: FOURZER0’s eyes widen to an impossible size.

FOURZER0: We are?

BASICALLY: Duh! Now who gets the tetanus gun?

-–: The two start a game of rock paper scissors behind us, practically yelling over us while we try to get through some room in a mansion.

DELIRIOUS: Bitch, help me! I’m being mauled!

Evan: I’m trying, aaah!

-–: We make it to the third scene before we both die.

DELIRIOUS: Aw, come on!

-–: I just chuckle.

Evan: Good game!

[Keep the tickets]

[Give tickets to DELIRIOUS]

[Suggest a four-way prize]

Evan: Hey. How about we get some four-way prize in the end?

BASICALLY: Pfft. I don’t share.

FOURZER0: What, we gonna get a plushie and then have custody battles over it?

DELIRIOUS: That could be fun, though! Imagine everyone else being confused as fuck over our new family acting!

BASICALLY: Hmm. You’re convincing me.

Evan: Actually, I thought…that we can get some weapon or something.

Evan: And then everyone can use it when you have sleepovers or stuff.

FOURZER0: Oh shit, how much was the nerf gun?

DELIRIOUS: Like…1000 tickets?

BASICALLY: Dude, I’m not grinding for that.

Evan: Exactly why I’m proposing the four-way alliance!

Evan: We all chip in with our tickets, we’ll get a nerf gun in no time!

DELIRIOUS: I’m so in with that!

DELIRIOUS: Or. Down with that.

DELIRIOUS: Whatever, let’s go!

-–: FOURZER0 laughs and BASICALLY sighs.

BASICALLY: Fine, let’s do it.

FOURZER0: I can’t wait to shoot Nogla in the balls.

BASICALLY: Wait, you know what, I take back my unenthusiastic agreement. LET’S SHOOT NOGLA IN THE DICK!

-–: BASICALLY and FOURZER0 finally play the game. Me and DELIRIOUS give pointers about how to get through some places, so they can get more tickets and we can be one step closer to that nerf gun.

DELIRIOUS: So what do you wanna do with the nerf gun, Evan?

Evan: Hmm…

[“Terrorize everyone!”]

[“Shoot NOGLA in the dick!”]

[“Shoot your mask off.”]

[“I don’t think I’ll actually use it…”]

Evan: Shoot NOGLA in the dick. Herd mentality!

DELIRIOUS: Hell yeah!

-–: I can tell he’s grinning.

-–: His eyes crinkle up whenever he’s smiling.

-–: It makes his blue eyes glimmer more.

-–: Seriously, I have not seen a man with blue eyes as pale as his.

-–: Literal fucking ocean.

-–: …

-–: There’s something at the pit of my stomach.

-–: I swallow the saliva in my mouth and force the feeling away.

Evan pretty much did the same in real life, as he eyed the new message from Delirious lighting up his phone.

Delirious

Eyyyyyyyyy

Wut

I’m like fiv minutes of passing out cuz medication

And here I am

Lmao

You gotta confess something before you slip into a coma?

YES

I’m the one who fucked up the UNO episode

Bitch all of us knew that

SHUT UP

HJHJHJHJHJHJHJHJHJ

Have a good nap Del

Thank

I’ll prob be good in three days more

Let’s play gartic phone once my voice is back

You got a date ;)

;)

Ok gnight

Bye

Evan sighed, putting down his phone and continuing the game dialogue. There was more filler on the four going through games and then getting 1050 tickets.

-–: We get the nerf gun and then peruse the smaller knick knacks for our leftover 50 tickets.

[Get a funny pin for BASICALLY]

[Get rubber ball for DELIRIOUS]

[Get weird pen for FOURZER0]

[Get special candy for yourself]

Evan: I nominate DELIRIOUS for an individual prize.

DELIRIOUS: Huh.

Evan: He dominated Dance Dance Revolution. So I vote he gets something for the fifty tickets we have left over.

FOURZER0: Okay, yeah, true.

BASICALLY: Mhm, DELIRIOUS, whatchu want?

-–: DELIRIOUS’ eyes widen. He looks at me in specific.

-–: I just smile back.

DELIRIOUS: Um…okay, I want a rubber ball, then!

FOURZER0: Ooh, I like it. We can destroy both of NOGLA’s balls.

BASICALLY: One with the nerf bullet and the other with a ball!

FOURZER0: Irony!

-–: BASICALLY and FOURZER0 high five.

-–: We get the rubber ball. DELIRIOUS holds it and squeezes to see how tough it is.

-–: He does so with some weird concentration.

-–: I don’t even realize I’m staring until his eyes turn back to me and his eyes crinkle up again.

DELIRIOUS: Thanks, Evan.

Evan: N-no problem.

-–: Did I just stutter?

-–: What the fuck.

Evan hid his face in his hands as the episode was done.

He has definitely stooped down to otaku level. Falling for fictional characters.

But…Delirious was a real person. So…technically not hit rock bottom yet.

Vanoss: Second episode done.

             Third episode will consist of us destroying Nogla’s genitals apparently

Nogla: What the hell ;_;

Terroriser: They’re literally paying homage to your ball surgery nice

Wildcat: This is hilarious

Wildcat

And otherwise, how’s the Delirious route

Vanoss

I should have never confided in you

LOL

So my character in game is catching feelings

A lil bit

Nice

And how you feeling about that

…

Delirious messaged me today

Was apparently five minutes away from passing out

And decided to bug me in his final moments of consciousness

Welp

If that doesn’t tell you something I dunno what will ;)

I hate you so much

I hate you too aww

BTW why did you decide to bug me with this anyway

Shouldn’t you have gone for hmm I dunno

Moo, for example?

I think Nogla and Brian have already converted Brock into DELIRIOUS route truthing so no

PFFFFFFF

I am truthing on it too, though

But you’re not being an annoying asshole about it

Besides

I know you could care less about the actual outcome :)

Yeah don’t really give a shit

Expect when Del comes back and if you’re gonna be all awkward and shit I swear to Satan

Won’t happen

I’ve hid my feelings for this long

I can do more

…

WAIT WHAT

SHIT

I MEAN

HOW LONG EVAN?!?!?!?!?!

…

More than two years, probably

HOLY SHIT

OK SUDDENLY I CARE A LOT

NO PLS DON’T CARE

I

Need to lie down

…Ok

Once again, I know I’m not the best to talk you through this shit

But omg I’m very invested now

You gotta tell me the whole story tomorrow

Ugh

I guess

If I don’t end up going in hiding tomorrow

Heh

Well, sleep tight Evan

Dream of Delirious uwu

Please never use uwu again

Yeah I probably had the worst cringe attack of my life rn

Hhh good night

Night

Evan hummed to himself and checked his phone.

He really wanted to play with Delirious again, right about now.

Chapter Text

“Seriously. You don’t have anything better to do? Like, why don’t you, I don’t know, invite all of your friends over for the millionth joyride through your woods?”

“Believe it or not, they have other lives instead of being my slaves for vlog content,” Tyler’s voice was too smug for Evan’s liking. “Besides. Apparently the game is gonna include the destruction of Nogla’s balls. I need to see it.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Damn right, I am!”

Evan actually chuckled as he clicked on his last save point. It was the title card for Episode 3 .

Tyler stayed in the voice channel throughout the whole session. For some reason, this “episode” felt shorter than the others. Or maybe Evan was getting over the cringe factor so he went through the story quicker. Tyler was mostly quiet, only commenting when he got the chance to shit on the game for being…what it is. Understandable, honestly.

He was more lively during his own scenes. “It’s actually very fucking creepy how they have our personalities so well portrayed.”

“Mm,” Evan responded noncommittally, not even hesitating at this point when he was presented with a Delirious-orientated option.

[Partner with DAITHI]

[Partner with FOURZER0]

[Partner with DELIRIOUS]

[Partner with PANDA]

[...]

Evan : DELIRIOUS? You wanna do this?

DELIRIOUS: Yes! Let’s tear this math sheet to shreds!

Evan : Hell yea!

Evan : …

Evan : We’re not actually doing that, right?

DELIRIOUS: Kchhh~

–: There he goes again, with that insane wheeze.

–: It’s really growing on me.

DAITHI: Evan, you okay? You’re a bit red.

Evan : …

Evan : It’s just a bit hot in here.

DELIRIOUS: Now that you mention it, yeah.

–: DELIRIOUS shifts around and takes off his blue hoodie.

–: Well, he really does have noodle arms.

–: But…

–: Why is this something I’m getting bothered by?

–: DELIRIOUS has an overall nice physique, though.

–: I see FOURZER0 and PANDA partner together, and DAITHI turns his chair to his left to the guy from the next desk in his line.

–: What was that guy’s name again? Pezzy?

–: …

–: We’re fifteen minutes into the class now, and we’re stuck on one question.

Evan : This is why I hate Math.

DELIRIOUS: Same.

–: I take a look at DELIRIOUS

–: I can clearly see his eyes narrowed from the eye holes of the mask.

–: He’s as frustrated as I am.

–: Good to know.

“Evan!” Tyler suddenly shouted through Evan’s headphones, startling him. “Huh, what?”

“I was literally calling your name for like thirty seconds! Jeez, are you really that invested in your pseudo Delirious romance game?” Tyler chuckled.

Evan shook his head, “What?”

“The guys messaged in Discord. They’re playing Golf it.”

“Nah, no thanks. I’m getting through this shit in one go.”

“Alright,” Tyler probably shrugged behind his monitor.

“You’re not going?”

“Don’t feel like raging.”

“Understandable,” Evan hummed with a smile.

Silence went on for another minute, Evan skimming through most of the dialogue, before Tyler spoke again. “You know I’m not the only one who’s concerned at this point, right?”

“...Over what?”

“Your obvious crush on Delirious.”

Evan stilled in his seat. Is it really that obvious?

Or maybe the shippers among them just like to talk. Fucking Brian and Nogla.

“I haven’t told anybody else but you. What are you even talking about, right now?”

Tyler chuckled, “Cart00nz has suspicions.”

Evan froze again. Oh god, please not him. Literally anybody else knowing would be better, but him?

In fact, if he had a suspicion, how has he not torn Evan to shreds in his DMs, already?

“...And what exactly is the concern here?”

“That you’re hurting,” Tyler’s voice was quiet, betraying his overall laid-back attitude on all this for what he was really feeling.

“Well, there’s not really anything I can do about it, is there?” Evan smiled to himself.

Tyler let out a heavy sigh, “Yeah, you’re right.”

And that was that, apparently, as Evan picked another option that would obviously steer him for the Delirious route and Tyler chuckled at the cheesy dialogue.

All the previous pseudo deep talk was forgotten completely as the sleepover part began. Evan and Tyler practically wheezed their way through the initial parts of it.

BASICALLY: NOGLA THINK FAST!

NOGLA: Huh.

–: BASICALLY shoots a single nerf bullet, aiming for Nogla’s crotch. It hits his thigh instead.

NOGLA: Ow! What the fock!

–: I can only laugh as BASICALLY keeps trying to aim for Nogla’s balls, but ends up missing or misfiring, hitting Nogla’s stomach or legs. Nogla keeps getting progressively angrier and his Irish accent is coming through harsher.

–: I don’t even think I understand what he’s saying at this point. And that makes it even funnier.

–: TERRORISER and VANOSS are also next to me as we watch the chaos unfold. TERRORISER is snorting roughly and VANOSS has devolved into a ball of high-pitched giggles.

Evan: Haha, oh man. Do you get that intelligible too, TERRORISER?

TERRORISER: Nah.

–: WILDCAT comes in from the kitchen, stopping behind us.

WILDCAT: Oh, don’t lie! You’ve also been incomprehensible a few times.

TERRORISER: I have not!

–: VANOSS inhales dramatically after having calmed down, and smirks at TERRORISER.

VANOSS: You’re almost as worse as that Jack guy from AP Chemistry.

–: And apparently that’s a sore spot, because I see TERRORISER’s eye visibly twitch.

Evan: Aaand I’m out.

WILDCAT: Wise choice.

–: WILDCAT nods at me as I back away, and then he watches Chaos Two: Electric Boogaloo unfold.

–: WILDCAT had been in kitchen duty, right? Maybe I should replace him, then.

–: I walk to the kitchen, half-expecting to see all the walls covered in pasta sauce or something.

–: But no, all is good.

–: The spaghetti is boiling, meat is sizzling on the pan, and the coffee machine is on.

–: The only chaos here is MOO chasing DELIRIOUS around, as there’s not much to oversee in the cooking section at the moment.

MOO: Come on!

DELIRIOUS: NO!

–: They hadn’t noticed me.

–: But they sure have now, as DELIRIOUS crashes into me while trying to run away from MOO.

–: I almost crash into the ground but keep myself up by putting one hand on the nearby counter and gripping onto it, putting my other hand around DELIRIOUS’s wrist as he almost goes down as well.

DELIRIOUS: Shit! Hoo! Thanks, Evan!

–: His hands come up to pat my chest as he straightens himself.

–: I try not to squeak in embarrassment.

Evan: No problem? What’s going on?

–: MOO sighs.

MOO: I’ve been trying to make DELIRIOUS ease up and make him take off his mask.

–: Oh?

MOO: And I mean no offense, I’m just tattletailing here. But he said that since you’re here, he won’t. 

–: Oh.

MOO: And, well. We had a long talk about how since we’re in the kitchen and you’re out there, there’s no need, anyway, but…

MOO: You’re here now.

MOO: Sorry. Just…felt like we needed to be honest, here.

DELIRIOUS: Ugh. Honest being exposing me?

MOO: Well, yes. Heh.

DELIRIOUS: Never change, Mama Moo.

Evan: …

[“Take it off anyway!”]

[“I can leave.”]

[“Yeah, shame.”]

[“I’m sorry?”]

Evan: I can leave.

MOO: Nonono, it’s-

Evan: No, seriously, it’s fine. Besides, don’t you feel stuffy in that mask?

–: I peer at DELIRIOUS. His eyes sure don’t show any emotion of being stuffy. But really.

–: DELIRIOUS stares back, blinking. He’s probably thinking about it.

–: God, his fucking eyes.

–: Why do I have to be a slut for blue eyes?

DELIRIOUS: It’s…

DELIRIOUS: No.

DELIRIOUS: I don’t feel stuffy, so I’m fine!

Evan: You sure?

DELIRIOUS: Yup!

MOO: Well, we do need a third pair of hands to start making the punch, since WILDCAT ditched us.

Evan: Well, I’m here to help!

“You would totally do that, by the way,” Evan huffed.

“Yeah, I would. No fucks given,” Tyler responded.

And the slightly tense atmosphere was gone again. At least, from Evan’s room.

[Suggest romcom]

[Suggest action]

[Suggest horror]

[Suggest comedy]

[Suggest drama]

[Suggest documentary]

“Wow, you didn’t even hesitate.”

“Shut up, Tyler.”

“Pff.”

Evan: Y’all seen the new Grudge yet, perchance?

TERRORISER: Ew.

WILDCAT: I heard it’s shit.

BASICALLY: Meaning it’s a perfect sleepover movie.

MOO: Eeeh, I don’t know…

NOGLA: What’s wrong, Moo, you a chicken?

FOURZER0: Hey, if anybody’s a chicken here, it’s fucking you.

DELIRIOUS: A…chicken is fucking Nogla?

BASICALLY: Even more torture for him.

BASICALLY: Since his balls are destroyed, he won’t even get satisfaction out of it.

WILDCAT: Okay, I did NOT need to think about how Nogla is unable to ejaculate now.

PANDA: Oh my god, VANOSS, just press play before this escalates further!

–: VANOSS does what PANDA says.

[Hoard the snacks first]

[Make a beeline for the couch]

[Sit on the floor]

Evan: Well, I certainly got the message, so everyone shut up now and let’s cringe!

–: I sit down on the fluffy carpet in front of the couch.

–: The others look at me.

PANDA: Wow, how considerate. Not even aiming for comfortability.

VANOSS: I knew there was a reason to keep you around.

WILDCAT: I still give you three weeks.

–: Silence comes next.

–: And then everyone starts scrambling, practically jumping towards the couch.

–: A whole manpile forms, and multiple people groan.

–: I can mostly hear BASICALLY screaming.

–: Understandable.

–: The only ones who didn’t opt for the couch are PANDA, who walked towards the snacks table, and MOO and DELIRIOUS, who just watch the Chaos trilogy feature with amusement.

–: At least I think DELIRIOUS is amused.

–: MOO comes and sits on my right. DELIRIOUS sits on my left.

MOO: I am not good with horror, so sorry if I end up screaming.

DELIRIOUS: I am not good either, but I revel in it!

Evan: Oh I’m…practically bred on horror so catch me nodding off, even.

MOO: Wow.

MOO: That is probably some childhood trauma talk waiting to happen, but okay.

Evan: Shut up, Mama Moo.

–: MOO laughs, and DELIRIOUS throws me a thumbs up for getting with the joke.

–: Everyone else has also calmed down. VANOSS, TERRORISER, WILDCAT and BASICALLY are now claiming the couch, BASICALLY sitting half on the left couch rest, so his body is slanted. He’s probably going to fall into TERRORISER’s lap if he jumps at the movie in the near future. PANDA, FOURZER0 and NOGLA have claimed the beanbags. There is one beanbag left idle.

Evan: You two don’t want that one?

DELIRIOUS: Nah, I’m good

MOO: Mhm.

–: I just shrug and finally focus on the movie.

–: I watched it once before.

–: And almost fell asleep…So I’m mostly looking for everyone else’s reactions.

–: I want to see some people cringe.

“Okay, but somehow I can imagine Delirious being mellow irl,” Tyler chuckled. Evan hummed in response. “Also, I’ve known Brock is called that in the fandom stuff, but like…we should annoy him with it.”

“You evil bastard,” Tyler chuckled more, and Evan heard him type on his computer. And the Discord channel pinged.

He didn’t check it right now, however. He felt like he was basically ten minutes away from the end of the chapter.

[Ask to double with DELIRIOUS]

[Ask to double with FOURZER0]

[Ask to double with ____]

[Agree to a rock-paper-scissors tournament]

“Wooow, apparently I fucked up somewhere and there isn’t a third option here.”

Tyler huffed, “How the fuck did you get towards Scotty’s route, though?”

“I dunno. Maybe the arcade section from the last chapter?” Evan pondered.

He could also kinda guess that the third option would have been MOO or TERRORISER. But, from either the lesson diverging from this episode for MOO or him not liking his answer from the kitchen incident, he sure screwed up somewhere. And with TERRORISER, he just assumed that since he was a duo with DELIRIOUS in the beginning and Evan didn't go for his options…

Whatever. He was going for DELIRIOUS full-on at this point anyway.

[Ask to double with DELIRIOUS]

Evan: Um…hey, DELIRIOUS?

DELIRIOUS: What?

Evan: Can I bunk with you?

–: DELIRIOUS blinks at me, eyes wide, and just stares for a moment.

DELIRIOUS: Uh…

DELIRIOUS: Hey, VANOSS?

–: DELIRIOUS steps over to VANOSS, and shakes his shoulder for attention. VANOSS instantly smiles at him.

VANOSS: Yeees?

“Okay, I see what you mean by the developer shipping you two,” Tyler laughed. Evan could only sigh.

DELIRIOUS: I’m sleeping next to Evan.

VANOSS: Oh.

VANOSS: Okay. I’ll ask MOO to bunk.

–: VANOSS just smiles, but he gives me some sort of look.

–: It probably meant to convey something along the lines of “hurt him and you’re dead”.

–: Am I being a homewrecker right now?

–: DELIRIOUS comes back to me and I can tell he’s grinning with the way his eyes crinkle.

DELIRIOUS: Okay, sleeping buddy!

–: I grin back. But then my smile falters.

Evan: Wait, does this mean you’re gonna sleep with your mask?

DELIRIOUS: I’ve done it countless times before, it’s fine.

Evan: Oh. Uh, okay.

Evan: I’m…sorry. For having you be uncomfortable.

DELIRIOUS: Hey, I already said it’s fine!

DELIRIOUS: Besides…

–: He elbows me, a certain glint in his eyes.

DELIRIOUS: Who knows? The face reveal might be soon.

–: I audibly swallow. Luckily he doesn’t hear it.

–: Oh god. I am not ready for that, actually.

–: Will I ever be ready?

-

--

---

–: I wake up in the middle of the night, for some reason.

–: My phone says it’s 4:19 am, what the heck.

–: I turn around on the bed and, oh.

–: DELIRIOUS isn’t here.

–: I must’ve woken up because he got up.

–: Where did he go?

–: I raise myself up and look around, nearly laughing as probably five out of the eight people here are snoring. Can’t really tell, but it’s a magnificent choir if I’ve ever heard one.

–: I get up from the mattress fully, since I feel a bit thirsty. And since I’m awake…

–: I tiptoe around the heap of sleeping bags and mattresses to the kitchen.

–: The light at the porch connected to the kitchen is on. Wasn’t it movement activated?

–: I walk a bit closer.

–: DELIRIOUS is out there, on his phone.

–: Huh.

–: I decide to get my drink before I confront the guy. The water is perfect for my parched throat.

–: DELIRIOUS instantly turns around when I open the door leading to the porch.

DELIRIOUS: Oh. Hey.

Evan: Hi.

–: I walk closer, coming to rest against the railing right next to the masked boy.

Evan: Why are you out here?

DELIRIOUS: Couldn’t sleep, pretty much.

Evan: Ah.

[“Was it because of the mask?”]

[“Did you try counting sheep in your head?”]

[“Tough luck, I guess.”]

“The art in this game is pretty nice, too. Don’t think I’ve said that,” Tyler laughed a little. Evan sniffed.

The current scene had a separate CG of Delirious at the porch railing, leaning against it. He wasn’t facing the MC directly but was looking at them. One of his hands was leaning over the railing, the phone in his hands.

The whole atmosphere of the picture felt…serene, in a way. Evan could only hope to be in a similar situation IRL one day.

Enough about that thought that was never going to happen.

[“Was it because of the mask?”]

[“Did you try counting sheep in your head?”]

[“Tough luck, I guess.”]

DELIRIOUS: No, haha.

DELIRIOUS: I told you, I’m very used to it.

Evan: …

Evan: So you once even hid your face to everyone else?

DELIRIOUS: Mmm.

–: DELIRIOUS looks away from me, probably a bit ashamed of himself to answer that.

–: He hid his face from this group of friends…who are the greatest bunch of people I’ve ever met.

–: No doubt if this is the case, then DELIRIOUS probably feels bad for not trusting them at first.

Evan: Wait, but didn’t you all almost meet in elementary?

Evan: Just how long have you held onto this mask?

DELIRIOUS: Oh, I’ve gotten a new one every few years, obviously.

DELIRIOUS: The mask I wore in second grade would never fit me now, duh.

Evan: Do you…keep the old ones?

DELIRIOUS: Well, they’re definitely somewhere in my attic.

Evan: Interesting.

DELIRIOUS: Not really. I’m just an insecure little bitch.

–: Well, that’s harsh.

[“I’m sure it helped whatever you were going through.”]

[“Don’t say that.”]

[“I mean, true.”]

“Pick the third option,” Tyler wheezed.

“I really want to,” Evan whined but clicked the first option.

“You simp!” Tyler kept laughing.

[“I’m sure it helped whatever you were going through.”]

[“Don’t say that.”]

[“I mean, true.”]

DELIRIOUS: It did. And it still does, in a sense.

Evan: Sorry for prying so much, I just-

DELIRIOUS: Nah, it’s fine.

DELIRIOUS: The whole story was bound to come up eventually.

DELIRIOUS: Although…don’t think I’m ready to tell it right now.

[“Why?]

[“Understandable.”]

[“Aw, come on!”]

DELIRIOUS: Have a nice day.

–: We both laugh.

–: And then silence for a few moments.

–: DELIRIOUS is looking at me, and I can tell he’s smiling again.

DELIRIOUS: You gonna try to get back to sleep or…

Evan: I mean, yeah. You?

DELIRIOUS: Fuck, I really should. Even if it’s just a power nap at this point.

Evan: Let’s go.

–: As we walk back inside and to our shared mattress, my mind disconnects itself again.

–: It’s definitely something bad that has DELIRIOUS wearing a mask like this.

–: And I don’t think I want to hear it.

–: I’ve come to recognise DELIRIOUS as this goofy, slightly dumb sweetheart with no care in the world, albeit wearing a mask that hides his physical identity.

–: I don’t want to hear that he’s aloof like this because he’s pretending to be happy or something because that hits too close to home.

–: But whenever he’s ready to tell me all his secrets…

–: I’ll accept him with open arms.

[END OF EPISODE 3]

“Well, that was shit,” Wildcat mused as Evan heard him lean back from his desk.

“And I still have to get through at least two more hours of it,” he chuckled.

“But you’re into this,” Tyler responded.

“Not really.”

“No, you really are. You’re literally picking all the Delirious options that would improve your relationship or whatever. You even fucking said you also wanna pick the “Delirious you’re dumb” option but you didn’t.”

Evan clenched and unclenched his hands. “And what’s your point?”

“Maybe you should tell Delirious.”

Evan’s eyes widened, before he scoffed, “No thanks.”

“Evan, come on.”

“No, shut up! He’s probably never gonna show himself so what can I even do?”

Silence on the other end.

Then, a heavy sigh. “I’m just trying to help, man. But you’re right, if Delirious is just gonna keep himself in North Carolina until the day he dies, there’s probably no point to even tell him.”

Evan scratched his scalp. “I’m gonna go get food now.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Yeah, bye, man.”

Evan hung up and sighed.

This whole thing was stupid.

He should’ve just chaos chosen his way through the whole game, not…this.

Not probably deepening his attachment to Delirious by trying to woo a fictional DELIRIOUS.

He finally checked the discord.

Wildcat: Ayo mama Moo

Moo :  Excuse me?

Terroriser: LMAO was there a line about that in the game?

Wildcat: Yup.

Moo :  What, so I’m the mother figure?

FourZer0: I thought you fuckin knew this lmao

Moo: How am I the mother figure wth

Terroriser: Example one: You went kid friendly you sellout.

Moo: Brian shut up

Wildcat: You used to be mellow mostly. And a voice of reason in the GTAV chaos recordings.

Moo: Okay true.

Nogla: Mama Moo, what’s for dinner uwu

Terroriser: CURSED

Moo: Your own liver if you don’t log off right now :)

Nogla: Sweet release

FourZer0: NOGLA WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS 😂

Terroriser: Wait so how’s Evan doing?

Wildcat: He’s being a simp for a fictional Delirious

Nogla: Implying he isn’t a simp for IRL Delirious

Wildcat: True

Terroriser: Join the conspiracy group Tyler

Wildcat: The what

Terroriser: 🙂

Moo: Cursed the sequel

They probably did have another group chat to specifically complain about Evan’s pining ass. He didn’t expect anything else.

Evan bit the inside of his cheek as he pulled up a specific contact.

How are we doing today?

Delirious

Pretty good actually

😀

So recording tomorrow?

Mm I’ll see in the morning

I actually miss you guys ;_;

We miss you too ;_;

No you fucking don’t lmao

Well Tyler probably doesn’t

LMAO

Shit what time is it in LA anyway?

You had dinner yet?

Was about to but wanted to ask about your condition

Okokok

Go eat owl bitch

For the last time

If anyone is the bitch here it’s you

Talk to you tomorrow hopefully!!!

Bye Delirious!

Evan pulled up the DoorDash app. He wasn’t hungry.

He ordered noodles and a bottle of wine.

—

Having Evan's first recording with Delirious after about a month while being hungover wasn’t the best idea in hindsight. However, Vanoss was a professional and would not let a little headache and some nausea distract him from milking his friends from all the content they provided, as per usual. 

It was another death run map to grace the boys today. And all attention was on Delirious trying to actually decipher the whole meme of the theme, since he’d been practically AWOL for two weeks. Well hey, everyone loved some extra Delirious content. When Brian was death, he targeted literally everyone else except the guy in question, if only to hear him try to think his way through each trap and what it meant for the big theme. It was actually genius if you thought about it - having someone with no knowledge of a certain thing be exposed to it through memes on a GMOD map. This had happened many times before, of course, but this time Delirious was completely clueless and the silly ignorance did dangerous things to Evan’s heart because, as it had been lately presented to him, he was too obvious. Plus, Delirious still sounded a bit raspy so his voice was comical.

“Shit, my voice,” he complained right after GMOD was closed on everyone’s respective monitors. Evan smiled at his desktop, “You don’t have to stay around for the other game.”

“Yeah, rest your voice, man. I was actually starting to get concerned at the end there,” Brock chuckled inside Evan’s headset.

“Yeah, think I’m gonna do that. Good game, guys.” And he left.

Evan hummed as he booted up the next game: something random Nogla had scouted on Steam.

“So, Evan…thoughts?” think of the devil and he will speak.

“On what?”

“Your reunion with Delirious?” he could practically hear the smirk in Nogla’s voice.

Evan tried to think of a good word that would have the group laughing instead of pressing further into the thing , because basically everyone was catching on to his mindset at this point. “Fabulous. Now let’s get another bad 2 dollar game experience over with.”

And everyone laughed, and Evan didn’t have to inwardly seethe his way through the umpteenth set of joking jabs which he seemed to take into heart a bit too much these days.

A few encouraging words regarding future prospects from Brian when the two were the only ones left in the call, and a distracted meeting held online with his music group later, Evan was pretty tired from today, all things considered.

But as a professional, Evan never let fatigue get in the way between him and his passion.

With that thought in mind, he booted up the dating sim, low-key relieved that this time there was nobody to comment on his depravity.

Chapter Text

Evan’s character in the game left the sleepover house (didn’t even remember whose house it was) on a Saturday, did homework, met BASICALLY and NOGLA trying to buy new headphones in the mall when his family was going shopping, and walked into school on Monday. He was practically skipping through the dialogue (the mall segment only had one dialogue option to pick because of route lock-outs, probably), getting through the weekend in about five minutes. He was also about to skip over the actual school day when DELIRIOUS’ character appeared on screen and Evan got back into his brain.

DELIRIOUS: If I ever subject myself to choir, please euthanize me.

–: WILDCAT practically cackles

WILDCAT: A request so serious he used all of his brain cells for the first time in his life!

DELIRIOUS: Fuck you!

–: Everyone starts teasing DELIRIOUS over the way he worded that.

–: Only VANOSS and FOURZER0 don’t engage

VANOSS: He can totally sing, by the way.

–: That’s directed at me.

FOURZER0: He can’t actually belt like that, though.

VANOSS: You haven’t heard him in the shower.

–: FOURZER0 instantly cringes, yet he grins.

FOURZER0: Fucking knew you used to stalk him.

VANOSS: Implying I don’t anymore.

–: I can only laugh along with FOURZER0 at the joke.

TERRORISER: Evan, can we please just go to Biology now? I don’t want to circlejerk anymore.

[“What about DELIRIOUS?”]

[“You read my mind.”]

[“Actually, I gotta get somewhere else first.”]

–: TERRORISER huffs.

TERRORISER: Unless you wanna stick up for the bitch right now, I don’t think they’re stopping right now.

[Speak up]

[Ask for VANOSS’ help]

[“Yeah let’s go, then”]

He could’ve easily just driven this for the ship inside the actual game, but whatever.

Evan: Okay assholes, it’s two minutes until class. Can we stop?

–: Only MOO hears me, if to tell by how he takes out his phone and checks.

MOO: Oh no, not-so-fresh meat is right! Everyone disperse!

–: And everyone practically yells their “See y’all later”s as they walk in different directions.

–: VANOSS elbows me as he walks away.

–: Like he knows something I don’t.

TERRORISER: Okay, DELIRIOUS, let’s get a move on!

DELIRIOUS: I’m coming, jeez!

–: We practically run to our classroom.

[“So you guys really are assholes all the time.”]

[“That was fun, even if I just watched that happen.”]

[“They were just teasing.”]

–: I smile at DELIRIOUS

Evan: I’m sure you actually sound good.

–: DELIRIOUS laughs.

DELIRIOUS: I’ve actually been practising to join a screamo band.

Evan: … Really?

–: TERRORISER snorts.

TERRORISER: Honestly, go for it, bitch boy.

DELIRIOUS: I will!

–: DELIRIOUS huffs, TERRORISER snorts again, and I am left just a little bit confused if DELIRIOUS meant that seriously or not.

–: The bell rings.

DELIRIOUS: Thanks, though.

Evan: For what?

DELIRIOUS: Giving me empty compliments to cheer me up.

–: I frown.

[CHOICE DELETED]

Oh.

So Evan was so into the route right now that now they were not letting him pick even. Okay.

Evan: No, I actually think you could…have a nice voice? I mean, you have a nice voice, in general, so if you sing, then…I dunno.

–: DELIRIOUS stares at me, his eyes just a little bit widened.

–: The teacher walks in and we both turn to the front of the classroom.

–: DELIRIOUS just elbows me as some sort of gratitude.

–: TERRORISER holds back another snort, if to count for the way he hunches over himself.

Another day of school. Nothing much else. Evan still laughed at the PANDA degrading, though. 

The character in the game also had another inward monologue in their own home, though, no choices to pick. It was mostly about how he’d been lucky to get into a group like this so easily. They were slightly popular, so nobody dared mess with him, instantly.

And then there was another slight mention about how he felt like a homewrecker, with VANOSS and DELIRIOUS. And then there was another CHOICE DELETED. So no choice to be made if the character wanted to draw back or whatever. Evan was into the DELIRIOUS route full send, at this point.

New day.

Bantering with MOO and TERRORISER. That shit was way too deliberate, at this point. He could guess that if he’d have picked either of them as his route, the character would also consider themselves a homewrecker.

DELIRIOUS on the screen again. That fucking hockey mask of doom.

It was lunch time.

DELIRIOUS: VANOSS, you wanna split this?

–: VANOSS tilts his head

DELIRIOUS: I had a big breakfast.

VANOSS: Well, so did I. Offer it to someone else, man.

[“I volunteer as tribute!”]

[“PANDA is like, right there.”]

[“WILDCAT is like, right there”]

[“Just trash it when you’re full enough.”]

Evan chuckled a little at the options. For once, he thought that him sacrificing himself for DELIRIOUS wasn’t gonna do any good, actually.

[“WILDCAT is like, right there.]

WILDCAT: What the fuck are you implying, huh?

–: I just smirk.

Evan: Trying to pin the leftovers on PANDA would’ve been too obvious.

WILDCAT: Shit, you’re right.

–: WILDCAT just laughs, and then VANOSS offers another option.

VANOSS: So who’s helping us with DELIRIOUS’ leftovers?

NOGLA: Ooh, me! I didn’t eat breakfast!

–: VANOSS, NOGLA, WILDCAT AND MOO help DELIRIOUS after he stops eating.

—: DELIRIOUS laughs.

DELIRIOUS: Aww, you guys love me.

WILDCAT: Fuck off.

MOO: I do~

NOGLA: Shut yer face, fucker.

VANOSS: Love ya too, asshole.

VANOSS: I’m gonna crash during P.E now.

VANOSS: See how much I suffer for you?!

–: DELIRIOUS just laughs again.

DELIRIOUS: I’m sorry VANOSS, our lord and savior.

VANOSS: That’s what I thought!

—: VANOSS scoffs, yet he’s still grinning.

Okay, this was unbearable at this point.

Evan honestly wanted to replay at this point just to have that neutral route now, just to see if the actual ships inside the game were gonna mingle like that, then.

Lunch time went by like that. Biology was on Thursday (fuck him for knowing that).

So nothing else particularly picked up. Except for another choice, which only had one option, the rest literally crossed out. Not a deleted choice this time.

You could tell that the maker of the game wanted to have the deleted choice thing as an actual thing, yet they never committed to it fully, then.

[“Join my emo band.”]

[“Yeah, that’s cringe, to be fair.”]

[“It’s not that bad!”]

[Let them argue]

–: DELIRIOUS, in particular, perks up.

Puffer: No thanks, I can’t scream like that.

Pezzy: Yes, you can, you just can’t commit to it.

Puffer: Literally fuck you.

–: Both BASICALLY and Pezzy cackle at that.

–: DELIRIOUS just elbows me for the reference, probably grinning.

–: I grin back.

Next day. More regular bullying. 

More slog, Evan picking the DELIRIOUS-appeasing choices on autopilot, at this point.

[“Sucks to suck.”]

[“Okay, leave him alone.”]

[“[], any comments?"]

[Stay silent and watch the chaos unfold]

Evan: We can’t all be geniuses like NOGLA.

–: Nogla instantly tenses up, angry.

NOGLA: And just what the fock is that supposed te mean?

–: Wow. Even made him go full Irish.

–: Nice.

–: Everyone else laughs, as well, and all previous teasing for DELIRIOUS is forgotten instantly.

–: DELIRIOUS also laughs.

–: And then pats my back.

DELIRIOUS: At this point, you’re my second guardian angel.

Evan: … Guardian angel?

DELIRIOUS: First one is VANOSS, obviously. Trying to make everyone not kill me as hard.

DELIRIOUS: Now you’re the second one!

The infamous sprite of DELIRIOUS showed up after what felt like two episodes of bullshit. Eyes closed in glee, his arms forward, leaning a little, extremely adorable. Evan took his hand off the keyboard for a second, huffing to himself.

Evan: Well…

Evan: I feel like they take it out a bit harder on you? So I just…feel like defending.

–: Especially considering VANOSS isn’t in the current group mingle.

–: DELIRIOUS cackles.

DELIRIOUS: Aww, I don’t let it get to me!

[“If you say so.”]

[“...Really?”]

[“Want me to drop another bombshell?”]

Evan smiled. Literally two options here would be positive. Be it for a deeper route or just to please DELIRIOUS. So he decided to be chaotic.

[“Want me to drop another bombshell?”]

–: DELIRIOUS probably grins maliciously under his mask, if you count the way his eyes practically twinkle.

DELIRIOUS: Let ‘em have it.

–: I clear my throat.

Evan: Also, PANDA is a bigger offender for that, anyway!

–: PANDA gasps dramatically.

PANDA: I trusted you.

TERRORISER: Wait, Evan’s got a point!

–: And now everyone’s dogpiling on PANDA.

–: He’d probably never been the face of ridicule three times in a week, because he looks like he’s fuming now.

DELIRIOUS: Aw, why you gotta do my man PANDA like that, though?

Evan: You agreed to instigate.

DELIRIOUS: I didn’t think you’d clown on PANDA, though!

–: PANDA has now inched away from the actual clowning, looking at the two of us in curiosity, even if his eyebrows are still hunched down.

PANDA: Evan, I hope you know this means war.

Evan: Bring it on!

–: DELIRIOUS practically giggles, and PANDA finally lets his face go of tension.

DELIRIOUS: Okay, I actually gotta run to the back wing now, bye!

–: Only me and PANDA give him a goodbye, the rest too busy still in their bullying spiral.

–: Or whatever you could call it.

PANDA: So…you and DELIRIOUS, huh?

–: I instantly turn back from waving DELIRIOUS goodbye, looking at Panda.

Evan: What about us?

–: PANDA grins.

PANDA: Nothing. The look on your face is enough confirmation.

–: …

–: What?

–: What is my face right now, then?

–: I’m not flushing. Don’t feel hot.

–: Then what?

–: Do I just look weird?

–: …

–: BASICALLY finally breaks the circle when the bell for class rings. We all practically run to our separate classes.

–: I only bump into WILDCAT during the rest of the day, and he’s too busy trying to flirt with the girl at his side, so I just say a hi and bye.

–: …

–: I get home at 5pm, like always.

–: And for some reason, PANDA’s comment is still there, stuck in my head.

–: Me and DELIRIOUS.

–: Sure, he’s like…the first person I kind of liked the most after a few days.

–: But then…what?

–: What the fuck about me and him?

–: He’s cool and mysterious. Random sense of humor, which I also have.

–: His hair is pretty neat.

–: His eyes are very pretty.

–: .

–: ..

–: …

–: No.

–: Oh, fuck PANDA.

–: Actually, scratch that.

–: Fuck VANOSS

–: He knew what that something was all along, didn’t he?

–: …

–: I think…

[END OF EPISODE 4]

Evan stared at the screen for almost a minute.

And then became enraged. “Whu- that’s how we’re gonna end it?! Come on!”

Evan sighed exasperatedly. He shouldn’t even be peeved at this fuckshit.

And yet he was.

I think what?

I have a crush?

I like?

I’m in love?

Just how deep was the affection in the story, at this point?

Evan groaned as he pulled back his chair, getting his phone and ordering alcohol again.

—

It hadn’t even been a full 24 hours since he finished the episode when Luke suddenly made himself known in the big group chat after about a month of inactivity. He had ordered pre-made gin and tonic mixes for yesterday’s spiral, so he didn’t have a big hangover. Yet, having Luke suddenly present again gave him all the anxiety and it almost felt like a full-on hangover.

Cartoonz: Wassup guys

Terroriser: The grandfather has returned from war

Cartoonz: PFFF

                 Anyway

                A PSA from me

               Has anyone heard about the recent Vanoss crew dating sim?

Basically: What about it lol

Cartoonz: So

                  The person who actually made the art or whatever is actually a high school friend of us

Basically: HUH

Cartoonz: So if y’all could steer clear of any screenshots or whatever

                 That would be gucci

Evan was just staring at his screen. Instantly picturing the face (mask) of Delirious in the dating sim, but in real life. And no matter the way he tried to make the real life him still as uncanny as possible, he still enveloped all of Evan’s mind.

“Fuck,” Evan slunched over in his chair.

FourZer0: Uh sorry but

                  You’re way too late lmao

Cartoonz: …

                 So who fucking played it

Wildcat: Evan lol

Cartoonz: FUCK HE DEF WENT FOR THE DELIRIOUS ROUTE TOO

Vanoss: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN I DID NOT

Cartoonz: LMAO

Evan covered his face, groaning into his hands.

He didn’t even entertain the rest of the conversation in the group chat, because the only thing in mind was Delirious.

How he would react.

He pulled up his contact.

I’m so fucking sorry

Evan didn’t even have to wait for a minute, the other answered in twenty seconds.

You played it

I’m so sorry I didn’t know

We made a whole bet on it and like I lost and aaaa

…

So was I good virtual boyfriend

…

Jonathan

LMAO

Don’t LMAO me right now

However that person still remembers you

That’s a huge breach of your privacy

And I am reeling right now

Like

I know how you look like kinda??????

Well.

It had my high school black hair

I actually have natural brown hair

Fuck you lol

DUDE THAT’S EVEN WORSE

I AM NOW IMAGINING BROWN HAIR YOU AND I

God I need to get away from my phone

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH YOU THINK I’M KIDDING

Fuck you lol

Fuck you I’m in love with you

WAIT WHAT

Evan instantly shut his phone off all the way.

FUCK. Why did he even resort to that? Why was that the panicked response?

He practically hyperventilated in his gaming chair for a minute, before trying to calm himself down by instantly getting his headphones and listening to calming rain ASMR. He had never tried that sort of thing before, but it sure worked now, as he finally breathed normally after about five minutes, reclining into his chair even more as the memory of seven minutes ago finally cemented in his mind.

Fuck, okay.

No, not okay. Delirious had actually taken that response seriously. Or…maybe not?

Evan cringed as he turned on his phone again. Because he had to confront this, face his mistake. Even if he regretted it.

He felt his breath quickening again as he saw the replies from Delirious.

I KNEW IT BITCH

Vanoss

Evan?

…

Wait

WAIT

…

oH NO

DUDE

SIHT

OH MY GOD

EVAN

ASNWER

Please?

Like

Fuck Im sorry

And then came the response he didn’t even see coming.

I…love you too?

Evan inhaled violently.

Shut the fuck up

IM SORRY

I CANAT

YOU FUKCING WHAT

SINCE WHEN

That was the question, wasn’t it. Evan exhaled finally.

Like…

Two years by now

Probably even longer

I don’t

Know

I’m also sorry

Vanoss

VANOSS

EVAN

BRO

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU TOO

I’M GONNA HAVE  APANIC ATTACKK

DON’T

No response came, and Evan was instantly alarmed. The other was definitely going through it. And he only prayed for one second that it wouldn’t be that hard. That he wasn’t having an actual panic attack.

Evan just sneered at his phone after that one moment of sympathy, “Fuck him. Fuck this.”

He pulled up his latest video to edit, to distract him for a while. Because he knew the other was never gonna reply to him ever again now.

But, about eight minutes later, he did. Evan really didn’t want to open his phone again.

You know

Pax East is coming

And I know you never go to conventions anymore

But I

I thought about actually going this time

Haven’t bought the tickets yet

But

Will you go if I go?

Evan stared at his phone in disbelief.

What?

Delirious…actually wanted to…reveal himself?

Or, well…just hang around with his group? Didn’t even have to show his face to the public.

Oh lord.

Evan was now buzzing in his seat.

You

Want to go full send?

Like this isn’t something you’re forcing yourself to do?

Yes

Evan’s bottom lip was bleeding at this point from the way he was chewing on it.

No way it was this easy.

And yet…

Then I’ll gladly go

Buy the tickets

:DDDDDDD

Done

Delirious sent no more, and Evan honestly didn’t feel like responding, putting his phone down and hiding his face in his hands.

What the fuck was even going on, anymore?