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“The curse will wear off in a week,” Lan Xichen was quick to reassure Wei Wuxian who seemed to be having an internal meltdown right now judging by the constipated look on his face. “He doesn’t remember anything past his physical age but nothing else seems to be amiss. For now, it is best to act as if Lan Sizhui truly is a child.”
Wei Wuxian’s fingers were tapping impatiently on his folded thighs and Lan Wangji glanced at his husband anxiously. In all his years of knowing Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji had never seen such an apprehensive look on his face before. His husband was usually calm and unflappable, even in the face of imminent danger. Right now, Wei Wuxian looked two seconds away from bolting out of the Jingshi like a madman, but propriety kept him glued to his seat as Lan Xichen very painfully and very slowly explained the situation like he had all the time in the world.
It was very clearly a distraction tactic, and even Lan Wangji could see it.
“Where is he now?”
Lan Xichen looked hesitant.
“I believe we should approach the situation with caution,” Lan Xichen interjected carefully but Wei Wuxian had been done with this conversation a couple of minutes ago and every single fiber of his being was itching to run and find his son. His apparently de-aged son who was now a baby and somewhere alone inside the Cloud Recesses, without him.
Wei Wuxian couldn’t say that remembered much about his time as a ghost, the memories hazy from whatever dying and being resurrected had done to him, but what he did remember was the feeling of futility whenever he wanted to hold his child and comfort him. He remembered being able to hold A-Yuan in his hands but not really being able to feel his son’s weight in his arms, or his warmth nor could he impart the warmth of his own body to his son. Death had dulled his senses to almost nothing, to the point where he could not offer nor receive the luxury of caring for his child.
Luckily, Lan Wangji, wonderful, beautiful, amazing Lan Wangji, had made up for what he lacked, and given A-Yuan a wonderful home and a happy childhood full of love and laughter and plenty of hugs. And now, presented with an opportunity to hold his child in his real flesh and blood arms again, Wei Wuxian didn’t want to waste another second sitting here listening to his brother-in-law fuss and fret like an old granny at the marketplace.
Wei Wuxian loved A-Yuan, no matter what form he took.
“With all due respect, Zewu Jun, where is my child?” Wei Wuxian demanded with a touch more agitation than was socially appropriate, but Wei Wuxian didn’t care. This was his son they were talking about, and he deserved to see his child now.
Lan Xichen sighed and relented.
“He’s in the fields out by the mount-,” Lan Xichen began to say but Wei Wuxian was already scrambling outside toward the fields at a breakneck speed. Lan Wangji was close behind and Lan Xichen hurriedly followed after them if only to mitigate the panic and horror of the junior disciples and other Cloud Recesses inhabitants at the sight of the Yiling Patriarch dashing like the wind and flagrantly breaking a dozen or so rules.
Wei Wuxian pedaled to a stop abruptly as he reached the grassy mountainside that housed Gusu Lan’s menagerie of rabbits. His eyes scanned the horizon for the hint of white amidst all of the other little white speckles of bunnies lazily nibbling on the grass or lounging in the sun. When he spotted his child, Wei Wuxian’s heart swelled at the sight and a lump formed in his throat.
Like something out of a storybook or a beautiful dream, little Lan Sizhui was sitting in the middle of the grassy field, dressed in a tiny set of pure white Gusu Lan robes and surrounded by little bunnies nipping at the small boy’s clothes and the long tails of his itty bitty headband. Wei Wuxian didn’t even know they made headbands in that size!
It was all so precious, Wei Wuxian felt the beginning of tears well up in his eyes.
This was A-Yuan as he remembered him, back when he was a small radish being planted in soil, wishing to grow friends to play with.
Lan Sizhui looked up at the intruder with curious silver eyes. They were almost eerie to look at, with how wide and bottomless they looked, and that was without a doubt Wei Wuxian’s kid. His creepy kid with his creepy yard long stare that could freeze the very underworld itself.
“Now who left you out here all alone, hm?” Wei Wuxian barely choked out behind his tears with a little huff of laughter.
It was everything Wei Wuxian never thought he would see in his lifetime and a hopeless longing rose in his chest, gripping his heart in a steel vice. He clapped a hand over his mouth as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. Both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji watched helplessly as Wei Wuxian fell to his knees and stumbled ungainly toward Lan Sizhui. Lan Sizhui seemed just as stupefied, looking up at his mother with wide silver eyes.
“Mama?” Lan Sizhui gasped in pleasant surprise, little apple cheeks reddening. “Is that you? You’re here!”
Wei Wuxian made a keening sound at the back of his throat, joyful that his child recognized him, and pulled Lan Sizhui into his arms in a tight hug.
He was—so small, the most fragile thing he has ever held in his arms. Wei Wuxian had forgotten how small his little A-Yuan had been, barely just a baby radish sprouting from the dirt. Wei Wuxian prayed that this wasn’t a dream but the longer he held onto his child, the realer it felt.
Oh God, it was real, he had his child in his arms, real and solid and warm. The soft silk of his son’s robe soaked up his tears as he buried his face into his son’s shoulder.
“I’m here, little one, I’m here,” Wei Wuxian murmured into his child’s hair and kissed the top of his head. He nuzzled Lan Sizhui’s soft cheeks and inhaled his sweet baby scent, all sensations he hadn’t been able to feel as a pale specter only his son could see.
“Mama?” Lan Sizhui asked when Wei Wuxian tightened his hold on his precious son. “What’s happening? Why are we hugging so tight?”
Despite his question, his precious little one hugged him back with just as much fervor if not the strength though Wei Wuxian enjoyed the sentiment nonetheless. His heart was so full, nothing could make this moment any better.
Lan Wangji stepped forward uncertainly, “Wei Ying-”
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered, “Please, just let me have this.”
The note of desperation in his tone made Lan Wangji’s jaw snap closed with a click. It was heartbreaking to watch his lover hug their child with such desperate want, know that Wei Wuxian had been there for Lan Sizhui but not actually physically there.
“My precious A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian held onto Lan Yuan for dear life, nearly squeezing the stuffing out of his child but Lan Sizhui didn’t seem to mind at all. The little boy was still squeezing back just as tight, refusing to let go. He was just as enraptured with the sight of his mother as Wei Wuxian was with him. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Mama,” Lan Sizhui cried out with joy. “You’re so warm and real! Papa look! Mama is here! Mama came home!”
Lan Wangji felt his throat tightened and he swallowed heavily, kneeling down to envelope his family in his arms.
“Yes, he is,” Lan Wangji agreed, hugging them tightly to his chest. “Mama came home to us.”
He kissed A-Yuan’s head and Wei Wuxian’s temple in turn. Lan Wangji was also overcome with emotions. He never thought he would get to have this moment, and now that he was actually experiencing it, Lan Wangji didn’t want to leave. Wei Wuxian was right, they should cherish this for all it was worth.
“Let’s go have fun today,” Wei Wuxian laughed thickly, “How does that sound, A-Yuan? A fun day with mama and papa.”
“Yeah!” Lan Sizhui brightened at the prospect of a day out with his mother and father.
“We’ll go into town and have a meal together,” Wei Wuxian rambled on with a bright cheerful grin, “And afterwards we’ll buy you as many sweets and toys as you can carry. Anything your little heart desires!”
Lan Sizhui cheered with joy. His head tilted toward the side before he let out a burst of laughter.
“Grandmother Lan is laughing at me,” Lan Sizhui giggled with radiant joy. “I don’t know why because she won’t tell me!”
Wei Wuxian’s lip trembled and he let out a watery laugh.
“I’m sure it’s because she thinks you’re just the silliest bunny in all of Gusu Lan!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, tickling Lan Sizhui’s belly to startle more irresistible laughter out of him.
“But I’m not a bunny!”
“You aren’t?” Wei Wuxian mock gasped. “You could have fooled me, little bunny. Look, you even have bunny ears!”
Wei Wuxian tugged teasingly at the tails of his forehead ribbon.
“They’re not bunny ears!” A-Yuan giggled even more. His laugh was so infectious that even Lan Wangji could feel a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Wei Wuxian was already completely gone, laughing gaily along with his son as they petted the surrounding bunnies and proceeded to make a game out of enticing them with bits of lettuce that Lan Wangji had magically produced from the sleeves of his robes.
It was one of the happiest afternoons Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had spent together in a long time. Wei Wuxian could not wait to spend more time with his little Lan Sizhui and thoroughly enjoy his childhood like he wasn’t able to when he had been a wisp in the wind.
--
The thing about Lan Sizhui being the poster child of the Lan Sect and his gentle, calm persona as its venerated heir was that Wei Wuxian had forgotten what a slippery little shit his son was when he was a tiny child. They had been barely in Caiyi Town for five minutes, and the boy was nowhere in sight.
He swore he had turned his back for a second. A second.
That had been a rookie mistake.
And now here he was, running around like a madman with Lan Wangji hot on his heels, trying to calm him down.
“I can’t believe we lost A-Yuan again!” Wei Wuxian shrieked, frantically scanning the busy marketplace for a wayward little radish. “You would think by now we would have learned to keep a better eye on that sly brat!”
“A-Yuan will be fine,” Lan Wangji tried to calm his hysterical spouse, but Wei Wuxian was having none of it because his baby was missing, and his parental adrenaline was surging through his veins. If his son didn’t pop out of wherever he was hiding in the next couple of seconds, he was going to lose it.
“He’s the size of a turnip!” Wei Wuxian was close to yanking his hair out. “He is not going to be fine! How are you not panicking more about the fact that we lost our kid?” At Lan Wangji’s very suspicious silence, Wei Wuxian froze momentarily from his frantic searching and his eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me you lost him often when he was a kid?”
Lan Wangji remained tightlipped. “We should find A-Yuan.”
“Oh my God!” Wei Wuxian crowed incredulously, “How many times did you lose A-Yuan?”
“Lan Sizhui turned out to be a fine disciple,” Lan Wangji defended with a dignified air.
“Lan Zhan, don’t be so smug about your parenting skills,” Wei Wuxian elbowed his errant husband, “Need I remind you that the last time I lost him, he found himself a gege to wrap his arms around and I married that gege. Who knows, maybe he’ll find himself another gege…”
“Do not joke, Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji glared.
“Ha!” Wei Wuxian burst out into frenetic laughter, “Are you eating vinegar right now? My poor, sweet jealous husband. If you don’t want that happening, you better help find our baby before I go berserk. Need I remind you the last time I went berserk, I completely invented a new form of heretical cultivation and turned the entire cultivation world against me.”
Lan Wangji’s face subtly twitched, and he immediately went back to searching for their errant child with a touch more fervor.
After a few more minutes of search the stands and searching them again, Wei Wuxian let out a scream of frustration, startling a couple of pedestrians who eyed him warily as he ran his hands through his already messed up hair.
“At this rate, we’ll be deemed unfit parents,” moaned Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji patted his husband in commiseration, wondering if they should call in some reinforcements before quickly dismissing that thought. Shufu was going to have their heads once he found out that they had lost his only grandnephew. He was most likely going to declare martial law on Gusu Lan territory and overturn every single stone to find Lan Sizhui, if Wei Wuxian didn’t first summon an army of corpses and ghosts to harass every single resident in the area first for their son’s location.
Either way, if they didn’t find Lan Sizhui soon, shit was going to go down, judging by Wei Wuxian’s fingers twitching toward his belt where his flute lay. Looking up, Lan Wangji noticed a small flash of white.
“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji quickly pulled him towards a small ambling figure in the crowd.
Wei Wuxian could cry right now. Lan Sizhui looked no worse for wear, not a stitch out of place on his immaculate Gusu Lan robes. He seemed absorbed with whatever was in his hands and did not notice the two adults charging at him, elbowing and shoving away irate market goers without any consideration for their dignity.
“A-Yuan!” Wei Wuxian scooped his kid up into his arms and pulled him close, “There you are! We were worried sick! You have to stop running away from us!”
Lan Sizhui squeaked as Wei Wuxian pulled him close, almost smothering him in his embrace.
“I wasn’t running!” Lan Sizhui was quick to deny with a firm pout on his little pale face. “I was following the nice lady with the hat and the smiling man! They wanted to play with A-Yuan and A-Yuan wanted to play with them!”
Both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian looked around, but they saw no one matching Lan Sizhui’s descriptions. Perhaps they were already long gone.
“You cannot follow strangers,” Lan Wangji scolded their child with a frown. “It could have been very dangerous. They could have taken you far away from your mother and I.”
Lan Sizhui looked suitably chastised and bowed his head. His hands fumbled nervously over something round.
“What do you have in your hands, A-Yuan?” Wei Wuxian asked in exasperation. “We’ve been over this. You can’t just pick things off of the ground.”
“But I didn’t!” Lan Sizhui denied in a hurt tone of voice, feeling wronged by all the accusations thrown at him, casting aspersions on his character.
When Wei Wuxian saw the item in his son’s hand, his blood froze in his veins.
“Where did you get this, A-Yuan?”
Lan Sizhui shrugged his shoulders absentmindedly, too preoccupied with his new bell. It had obviously seen better days, the frayed purple tassel covered in grime and the bell faded with wear and time. It was also very clearly a Jiang sect bell and nothing Lan Sizhui could have picked up on the streets of Caiyi Town, unless his child was also turning into a kleptomaniac and had stolen it from some hapless Jiang disciple.
But as Wei Ying studied the bell in further detail, a shiver ran up his spine.
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asked uncertainly, noticing his husband’s odd expression.
“I’m certain this is my father’s,” Wei Wuxian’s voice quavered as he took the bell from Lan Sizhui who immediately looked miffed that his bell was taken. “There’s a distinctive scratch on one side of the bell, where I accidentally dropped it as a kid. My father scolded me so much for damaging it, but I remember how much I used to love to steal this from him and play with it. But it can’t be; my father and mother have been dead for years and I lost this in Yiling City.”
They turn to Lan Sizhui who was absorbed in trying to reach Wei Wuxian’s hand for his new treasure.
Wei Wuxian’s brows furrowed. “How did A-Yuan get it?”
Lan Sizhui pried insistently at his mother’s hand until Wei Wuxian relinquished his new prize to his son.
“A-Yuan,” Lan Wangji chided gently, “It’s important you tell us where you got this.”
“Grandfather Wei gave it to me,” Lan Sizhui held onto it possessively as all children were wont to do with their new toys, “It’s mine. He said I could have it.”
A frisson of cold fear wrapped around Wei Wuxian’s throat. It was times like these where A-Yuan went from being his cute little baby self to something very real and quite frankly terrifying.
“A-Yuan, can you tell us what else Grandfather Wei said to you?” Wei Wuxian asked urgently, “Did he give you anything else?”
Lan Sizhui froze and hunched down shiftily in Wei Wuxian’s arms.
“Noooo,” Lan Sizhui said guiltily.
“A-Yuan,” Lan Wangji chided in a gentle tone, “It is against the rules to lie.”
“But I’m not,” Lan Sizhui replied cheekily, “Grandfather Wei didn’t say anything else to me, but Grandmother Cangse did.”
At that, even Lan Wangji startled badly. He was well aware of Cangse Sanren, the famed rogue cultivator who was also Wei Wuxian’s mother. Their tragic story was infamous throughout the cultivation world, how they met their ends in a night hunt gone wrong, how Wei Wuxian was picked up later by Jiang Fengmian and taken back the Jiang Sect.
“She says she’s happy you found Father to love you and that she’s proud to be your mother,” Lan Sizhui relayed idly, more interested in the new toy in his hands. But then his eyebrows furrowed, and he motioned Wei Wuxian closer. In a trance, Wei Wuxian ducked his head down so his disturbingly cute child could whisper in his ear, “She also thinks it’s really funny that you shaved off Granduncle Lan Qiren’s beard like she did when she was studying in the Cloud Recesses.”
Wei Wuxian’s heart rippled at the mention of his mother and father. It had been so long, an old hurt that had long since scabbed over but hearing his child talk about them now, to know that his parents were still watching over him, ripped open that scab and let in the old hurts. It was cathartic though. His parents were still together in the afterlife. They were happy and they knew that he was happy and safe and loved. He felt the tension in him slowly release and a buoyant feeling fill his chest.
“Is that so?” Wei Wuxian whispered, kissing Lan Sizhui’s forehead. “I’m glad that they’re still watching over me and now you. Did you hear that, Lan Zhan? Even your mother-in-law approves of you! No one can resist your charms!”
He nudged suggestively at Lan Wangji who nodded and smiled contently at them both, wrapping a comforting arm around Wei Wuxian.
“Can you tell us where you saw your grandparents, A-Yuan?”
At this, Lan Sizhui looked up abruptly, making Wei Wuxian involuntarily flinch. His unsettling silver eyes seemed to grow bottomless and seemed to swallow up his pale face.
“I looked into the void… and then, it looked back at me,” Lan Sizhui answered with a disconcerting little smile. “And then I saw them.”
The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Goosebumps rose on Wei Wuxian’s skin, and he didn’t know if the emotion he was feeling right now was sheer terror or excitement.
“Okay, I’m seeing it now,” Wei Wuxian finally said, cold sweat collecting at the back of his neck. “I’m seeing why all you people think A-Yuan is creepy because this is really, really creepy. And I have seen some seriously spooky shit in my time.”
Lan Wangji glowered at him. “No swearing in front of the child.”
Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. Trust Lan Wangji to find out his child was ripping holes into the universe and still find time to lecture him about his language around his child. Lan Sizhui seemed to sense his father’s ire and he was quick to defend himself.
“See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you,” Lan Sizhui pouted. “It’s against the rules to shave off Granduncle’s beard. You’re going to get mad at Grandmother now.”
“We are not mad,” Lan Wangji was quick to soothe his child. Like that was the part they were going to be mad about, Wei Wuxian snorted.
“I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that A-Yuan may have slipped into some sort of pocket dimension and met my dead parents on the other side,” Wei Wuxian balked and then turned to Lan Wangji accusingly. “Why didn’t you tell me our kid knows how to break the laws of nature on a daily basis?”
Lan Wangji tactfully didn’t say that Wei Wuxian also broke those same laws of nature on a daily basis back when he was the Yiling Patriarch and even now as a slightly more twinkier version of said Yiling Patriarch.
There were no more mentions of grandparents, dead or otherwise, as Lan Sizhui was quickly growing exhausted from having to explain himself constantly to silly adults. He instantly brightened at the sight of even more toys from a passing vendor and like the whipped parent he was, Lan Wangji bought him anything he asked for despite Wei Wuxian trying to reign in his errant child.
They had a lovely meal at one of the local restaurants where Lan Sizhui proceeded to sob when Wei Wuxian ordered a table full of spicy dishes, and attempted to feed him some before Lan Wangji quickly put an end to it, and ordered child and Lan Sect friendly dishes.
And thus ended the weirdest day of Wei Wuxian’s life.
--
At night, Lan Sizhui went to bed without a fuss, completely tired out from his fun day in town.
Freshly bathed and dressed in his soft sleeping robes, Wei Wuxian picked him up and settled him in his arms. Swaying from side to side slowly, Wei Wuxian began humming a lullaby, watching tenderly as his little one’s eyes began to droop closed. Lan Sizhui could have fallen asleep without the ritual, but Wei Wuxian wanted just a little more time to hold onto his child. He savored the heavy, warm weight and the simple domestic pleasure of being able to sing his son to sleep, safe and warm in their little house.
Wei Wuxian smiled softly, smoothing down Lan Sizhui’s flyaway hair. He had forgotten how baby fine Lan Yuan’s hair had been at this age. It got nearly everywhere no matter how much Granny tried to comb it away from his little round face.
“How is he?” Lan Wangji asked, looking over his husband’s shoulder at Lan Sizhui drooling on Wei Wuxian’s chest, little fingers clutching at the fabric of his robes.
“Out like a light,” Wei Wuxian whispered, mindful of their sleeping son. He slid into bed and tucked Lan Sizhui under the covers. Lan Wangji slid in as well, and they bracketed Lan Sizhui like two halves of a shell enclosed around a precious pearl.
The silence was quiet, comfortable and Wei Wuxian could have stayed like this forever, but he felt the need to say something about this afternoon. He knew Lan Wangji would never push him to speak, but he felt drained and free in a way he never knew he needed. Like the last of the shackles of his past had been broken, and now Wei Wuxian could finally just be.
“I don’t remember this,” Wei Wuxian professed in a nearly inaudible whisper, the sort of voice you used when you wanted more than anything not to be pushed. He gently brushed the back of his hand over Lan Sizhui’s sleep pinked cheeks.
Lan Wangji didn’t say anything, staring into Wei Wuxian’s eyes, giving him time to compose his discordant thoughts. Wei Wuxian softened in fondness. His husband was the most patient, loving man in the world.
“When I came back to life, my memories as a vengeful spirit were completely gone,” Wei Wuxian continued, “I was weak and small, newly stuffed into a body that wasn’t my own, and I couldn’t remember a single thing past my death. That’s why it took so long to remember, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian looked broken, haunted at the memory. “I couldn’t even recognize my own child.”
“Even when I remembered, I could only remember how much regret I felt for not being able to comfort A-Yuan or provide for him,” Wei Wuxian’s voice took on a hollow, empty quality to it, “I remember how things felt like I was touching them through a fog, like there was a veil separating us. I was always so close but never enough. A-Yuan must have felt so cold in my arms. He must have felt so empty seeing me.”
“Wei Ying-”
“To be a spectator in my own child’s life,” Wei Wuxian huffed out, eyes closing in self-deprecation. “It was a special hell created just for me. The last person I tried to save, and I couldn’t even accomplish that.”
“But you did,” replied Lan Wangji in a heartbreakingly soft voice, “Wei Ying was there for our child. Wei Ying was a good parent.”
Wei Wuxian looked up. “You think so?”
“I know so,” Lan Wangji replied. From his lips, it sounded like a universally accepted truth. Lan Wangji had such a way of saying things that left no doubt in Wei Wuxian’s heart. To him, it was simple fact. The sky was blue, the grass was green, Wei Wuxian was not a fuck up of a parent.
Wei Wuxian didn’t realize how much he needed to hear that. His eyes began to well up with tears. Lan Wangji caressed Wei Wuxian’s cheek, smoothing a thumb under his eye to catch the tears that began to fall.
“Go to sleep,” Lan Wangji kissed his forehead softly. “A-Yuan and I will be right here when you wake up.”
Lan Wangji’s arms caught around Wei Wuxian’s body, over Lan Sizhui and he pulled him close, nearly squishing the child in between them. Lan Sizhui snuffled in his sleep, a sleepy little sound of protest at being jostled. His tiny feet kicked out at them, catching Wei Wuxian in the stomach. He let out a gasp at the impact, eyes widening at the sight of Lan Wangji getting socked in the face by a wayward little fist. Both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian let out quiet chuckles. Their own little family, safe and sound.
Everything Wei Wuxian wanted, right here in his arms.
--
The next morning, Lan Sizhui had returned to normal and woke up with bewilderment, sandwiched tightly between his mother and father.
“Mother, father?” Lan Sizhui croaked, looking puzzled as to why he was in his parents’ bed instead of his own in the disciple quarters. “What am I doing here?”
“Are you feeling alright, Sizhui?” Lan Wangji asked, sitting up and checking his child’s temperature.
Lan Sizhui nodded slowly, still monumentally disoriented.
“Ah!” Wei Wuxian yawned and sat up, “Good morning, Sizhui! Did you sleep well?”
“What happened, mother?” Lan Sizhui clutched his forehead. “I feel like I just had the wildest dream.”
Wei Wuxian laughed out loud.
“Ah, Lan Sizhui,” Wei Wuxian hugged his child close to him. “Your mother really really loves you, you know that?”