Chapter Text
Shampoo wished, sometimes, that the chaos that surrounded Ranma could let up for just a second. Then, perhaps, her foolproof scheme could have paid off. Well, she had apparently underestimated the power of genuine fools, which she should really have gotten used to by now.
It had seemed so perfect when she came up with it. Obviously, Ranma loved her most. She was a powerful warrior, and beautiful to boot. True, her curse was an unfortunate match for him… but her great-grandmother had promised her that she would dedicate herself to curing Ranma’s phobia once he agreed to marry her. The only reason he hadn’t yet was because he didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the other two fiancées.
She could appreciate that. Her Airen had a kind heart, and she loved that about him, and to be honest, she didn’t want to hurt those two any more than was necessary. After all, by now, they had become something almost like friends. But that was the thing; it was necessary. Yes, it would be sad, but it had to happen sooner or later, and the sooner the better. They could get to finding someone new, and they could stay friends, and everyone would be happy!
The problem, however, was getting them to realise that, and give up on him. They would never believe it if she was the one who told them. It would have to come from him. And more than that, there could be no question of hypnotism or love potions when it happened; if there was, they would contest the statement vehemently, claiming it to be made under duress. And frankly, if it happened that way, Shampoo would always be disappointed as well. Well, not disappointed enough to give him up, but it would still put a damper on their marriage. But without magic, there was no way he would ever say anything! It was a conundrum.
Then, one day, while browsing through her great-grandmother’s recipe books, she hit upon the perfect solution: a social inhibition removal powder! One puff, and you had all the benefits of a good session of ‘in vino veritas’, without the stumbling and vomiting and hangover! She hadn’t paid much attention to the bit where it talked about the duration of the spell, but if it lasted a day or forever, the effect would be the same. Ranma could finally get out the truth, the other two could get one with their lives, and Shampoo could finally move on with hers.
Well, she had made the potion. It had been difficult; Cologne did not approve of Shampoo using magic schemes without her direction, but Shampoo knew more than a few tricks, and it had turned out perfectly even with her having to sneak around the old woman. She kept a good track of the ingredients and process she used, so she could prove exactly which potion Ranma was affected by, so Akane and Ukyo would not be able to deny what he said. Then, she would just have to get Ranma indoors, with no wind to blow it away, and she could enact her plan.
Well, she got her opportunity right enough; one rainy day, a soaking wet, female Ranma stumbled into the closed restaurant intent on free food outside of business hours. The problem: she wasn’t alone. In fact, she was accompanied by two other fiancées, shooting each other glares as they flanked Ranma at the table, continuing some kind of argument that they had been having outside. That could be a problem. But, on the other hand, it could be good! Get it all over with quickly, the moment the powder took effect.
Shampoo approached the table delicately, dressed in her most seductive waitress outfit, the pouch of powder hidden behind her menu.
“Airen! Good to see you! Usual, Hmm?”
Keep it casual, speak normally. They would never suspect a thing.
Well, it turned out that they had very suspicious minds, because before she could even make a show of getting the order, Ukyo spotted the pouch and threw a spatula-shuriken at it. What followed was a desperate game of hot-potato with the small sack; both Shampoo and Ukyo desperately trying to snatch it out of the air and keep it away from the other while yelling insults at them, Ranma almost falling off her chair leaning away from the container, having been drilled by many incidents to avoid the gifts of Amazons, and Akane sitting back and growling at the whole situation.
“Honestly, this is exactly what I’m talking about, Ranma! You keep getting dragged into these insane situations because you keep stringing them along! It’s about time that you-”
What Akane thought Ranma should do was fated to remain forever unknown, however, as at that moment Ukyo used one of her spatulas to extend her reach enough to knock the bag from Shampoo’s grasping fingers, slamming it down onto the table. The drawstring, loosened by the scuffle, failed the test, and its contents went shooting across the table… right into Akane’s face. Caught mid-rant, she coughed and spluttered, inadvertently drawing the faintly pink powder directly into her lungs.
“Akane!”
Ranma lunged from her seat just as Akane let out a brief spasm that pushed her backwards. Ranma caught her and lowered her back into her seat. Ukyo stood up from where she was sitting, looking worried, and started circling around the table, while Shampoo stood frozen.
So… the magical potion she had so painstakingly constructed for Ranma, was now affecting Akane. Akane, the most repressed, tightly wound, and overall pent-up girl in Nerima had just had her inhibitions demolished. When she opened her eyes, Nerima was going to see, for the first time, what an Akane with nothing holding her back, was truly capable of.
Shampoo suddenly realised that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t as good at planning as she thought she was.
Akane blinked as the world swam back into sync. The pain in her lungs was fading fast, and the dizzy feeling that had struck her down was gone already. She took a moment to collect her thoughts and was immediately struck by how calm she felt. It was like she was wrapped in a fuzzy, cosy blanket, with all the things that had been worrying and annoying her stuck on the outside. She could remember them, even think about them, but they didn’t matter anymore. They were out there, and she was in here. She felt… good. Really good!
She opened her eyes one final time, the gritty feeling of dust finally leaving them, and immediately saw the worried face of her Fiancé. No… her fiancée.
“Akane! Are you alright? How do you feel?”
What she felt? How did she feel… it was hard to concentrate right now, because she realised that Ranma was so close, hands on her shoulders with her face a foot away from hers. Akane could see the worry in her eyes, tempered with relief that she was moving at all. Ranma… she… she was beautiful. Her red hair, her delicate features… and behind it, one of the kindest and bravest hearts in the world, wrapped up in a thick layer of bravado, stupidity and toxic masculinity.
She was suddenly brought back to the day this tiny girl had been dropped into her life by a panda, the instant feeling of affection and friendliness that she had felt for her, and the feeling of crushing disappointment and betrayal she had felt when she had turned out to be a guy- a perverted, arrogant, entitled guy. Except… why did she feel that way, again? It wasn’t Ranma’s fault. None of it was! Well, maybe she had been less than endearing after her secret was revealed, but only after Akane had given as good as she’d got. All the water that had passed under the bridge since then, and she had never let herself really see that girl again, never let herself be fooled again, and as part of that had pushed him away whenever she remembered she had to. But… it wasn’t a lie. She was Ranma. This… this was all Ranma. Maybe Ranma could be a bit of a jerk sometimes, but she wasn’t a pervert, or some kind of demon out to make her life complicated. She was the girl who Akane had fallen in love with.
Why had that been so hard to think? It felt so obvious, now. She loved Ranma. She even loved him when he was a man, but… In her mind, in her heart, she would always be that shy girl looking for a friend, who had stolen her heart without even realising it. Akane wanted to kiss her. She didn’t know why she hadn’t before. So, she did it now.
Ranma had not been expecting the kiss, and as it landed on her lips, she froze solid for a moment. Then, as Akane started to get to her feet and put her arms around her, she closed her eyes and melted into the embrace, shock blunting any objections her flustered mind might have tossed up. And then she was too busy to think because she had inadvertently opened her mouth to Akane’s probing tongue and was suddenly engaged in a newly discovered type of grappling, which, judging from the sounds she was making and how she pressed herself closer to Akane’s body, she was enjoying very much.
They traced a full arc between them, Akane rising from out of her chair to a full standing position, then slowly and gently lowering Ranma down onto hers as her legs gave way underneath her. At no point until Ranma was fully reclined did her lips separate from Akane’s, and when it happened Ranma flopped bonelessly back, face as red as her hair, and a stupid grin on her lips, still smeared with Akane’s lip gloss, as she stared at the ceiling with half lidded eyes.
Akane straightened up, putting her hands on her lower back and leaning back until she heard a pop, then rolling her shoulders and head until she had shaken off the tension she felt. It was like her entire body had been wound up like a spring, and only now did she feel loose and free. Wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, she was still smiling down at Ranma when a small sound drew her attention to the other two girls.
The noise had been Ukyo’s spatula falling from her fingers and hitting the floor, just about catching up with her jaw, which had preceded it. She stood behind Shampoo, who had raised a hand to her mouth in an adorable gesture of surprise, with a dusting of pink on her cheeks. Compared to the flabbergasted Ukyo, Shampoo looked almost… intrigued.
Akane paused and looked Shampoo up and down with an appraising eye. She wasn’t an idiot. She realised that she had just done something she never would have before, right after getting hit with one of Shampoo’s formulae. She was still aware that a little part of her mind was insistently pointing out that what she had just done, while highly enjoyable, was incredibly perverted, actually. She could hear it, just like she always did, but she was pleasantly surprised to see that she couldn’t bring herself to care. That was definitely out of the ordinary, and Shampoo was to blame. She didn’t appreciate having her mind twisted by some ancient amazon potion again, no matter how much she might like the results. What she did appreciate, however, was how Shampoo was looking right now; dressed to impress, slightly scared, and slightly… well, slightly something.
She remembered all the times she had seen the shameless girl in action, both on and off the battlefield. She had always found a guilty pleasure in just watching her… and right now, she wasn’t feeling very guilty. An idea came to her, suddenly, and she grinned. Shampoo had always been forward. Perhaps… it was time to give the cat a taste of her own medicine.
Akane stared Shampoo dead in the eyes and was gratified when Shampoo’s eyes widened and she took a step back. As Akane stepped towards the cowering girl, she spoke.
“Shampoo, I know you just did something to me. Well, Ukyo was the one who actually did it, but it was your potion, and she was just trying to protect Ranma, so I’m holding you personally responsible.”
Shampoo was starting to look downright terrified, but her back straightened slightly at the implied threat, her training giving her the strength to stand proud even as Akane took another step.
“Oooh, that’s a good look on you. You’re really cute when you’re nervous, you know that, kitty-cat?”
Shampoo’s resolve fell to pieces as she flushed crimson in confusion, her instincts abandoning her. At the exact moment when her guard dropped, Akane stepped forward into her personal space. With her face an inch away from Shampoo’s, she smiled.
“I think you deserve a little punishment, don’t you?”
Shampoo opened her mouth, perhaps to object, perhaps to stammer a request for clarification, perhaps just to make a noise of confusion. This turned out to be a terrible idea, because Akane pressed her lips to Shampoo’s, and wrapped her arms around the girl, trapping Shampoo’s arms to her chest. If she had a chance to regain her wits, she would likely have been able to shove Akane off. Akane made it her goal to make sure that she would not get the chance.
Shampoo’s lips were softer than Ranma’s had been, and she was wearing an exotic lip salve of her own. The flavour was pleasant, and Akane made sure to get a thorough sample as she reached up to cradle Shampoo’s head in her hand. She had maybe a second before Shampoo reacted, so she pushed forward. Channelling many years of stroking cats, both strays and those belonging to friends, she navigated her fingers to a spot just behind where Shampoo’s ears would be if she was in cat form at the moment and started to scratch.
And that was it, as far as Shampoo was concerned; as Ryoga would have told anyone who asked, when it came to petting, Akane was unmatched. Her strong, dexterous fingers seemed to reach inside Shampoo’s brain and turn off her motor functions. Her eyes immediately closed and she collapsed into Akane’s arms. Her mouth went slack, and Akane took the opportunity to slow the kiss from a sudden pressure to a gentler motion that didn’t quite reach the point of frenching, like she had with Ranma, but was certainly a lot more passionate than any kiss Akane had given before today. Based on the sound that emerged from Shampoo’s chest, sounding suspiciously like a rumbling purr, she concurred with the unconscious Ranma’s thus unspoken opinion on Akane’s kissing abilities.
On her part, Akane was enjoying herself immensely, feeling the amazon warrior become putty in her hands, and getting an extremely pleasant kiss out of it. Beyond the catharsis of finally getting back at Shampoo, she felt a warmth in her chest from knowing that Shampoo was enjoying herself as well. She was a sort of friend, after all, and it wouldn’t do to have her be uncomfortable around Akane.
When Akane pulled back, Shampoo made a small noise of protest, eyes still closed under Akane’s ministrations. Gently, she lowered Shampoo to the ground, still scratching, and now rubbing her back with her other hand at the same time, until she was fully on the floor. Then, and only then, did Akane let go of her, finishing up with a quick peck on her lips that had Shampoo whimpering for more. Akane smiled at the blissed-out girl before she got up once more.
“I think that will do, Sham-chan. Consider yourself punished.”
Based on how she was still purring, Shampoo apparently considered herself far from the sort, but Akane was satisfied. Popping her back one more time, she turned towards the last girl standing. Ukyo was now a similar colour to both of the others but was otherwise unchanged from when Akane had last seen her. Akane suddenly felt a surge of affection for the tall, bifauxnen girl. Ukyo was much less ‘sort of’ a friend than Shampoo was. They were close, despite their rivalry (and didn’t that seem so silly right now?). Sometimes, she had wished that Ukyo could be her childhood friend instead of Ranma’s; she already felt that she had known her for years. She was friendly, and funny, and such a good cook. She really admired how Ukyo could run her own business while still attending high school, and she really was extremely handsome in her school clothes and work gear. Not that she didn’t look good when she was trying to look feminine, but Akane always got the impression she was trying too hard to be something she wasn’t, like she was putting on an act to try and be the girl she thought Ranma wanted. Akane felt a pang of sympathy for her there.
She stepped forward, smiling, and Ukyo’s eyes widened as she stumbled back.
“Woah! Hold on, ‘Kane! You, You’re not yourself right now! I ain’t gonna let you kiss me!”
Akane stopped, her smile fading slightly.
“Relax, Ukyo. I know I’m under some kind of spell. I’m sure it will work itself out sooner or later, though. And I won’t kiss you if you don’t want me to.”
After a moment in which Akane did not pull a Shampoo and glomp onto her, Ukyo lowered her warding arms.
“Really?”
“Really. Although… I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me.”
Ukyo’s mouth opened and closed like a fish for a few moments, and Akane giggled. Finally, she spoke.
“Listen, Akane, I, I don’t… I like you, really I do, but you gotta remember! I love Ranma!”
“Oh, I know. I do to!”
The cheery admission apparently shocked Ukyo more than either of the kisses.
“Wh- Wha?”
Akane looked back on the still-comatose redhead steaming gently in the seat behind her.
“Isn’t she just adorable? Look at her face!”
Ukyo looked, and her blush returned, this time a more subdued dusting to go along with a faint smile. Clearly, she wasn’t too clear on what was going on, but this was familiar territory.
“Yeah… She is.”
“It’s almost as cute as when she gets all indignant about being manly- Usually while wearing one of the prettiest dresses you’ve ever seen, which she picked out herself!”
She laughed, and after a moment, Ukyo laughed with her, apparently forgetting about the stunned Shampoo on the floor in favour of reminiscing about Ranma with Akane.
“Yeah, that’s pretty funny to see.”
“Ranma’s great. Would you like to kiss her?”
Ukyo’s head span to face Akane so fast she almost got whiplash. Akane supposed that was to be expected, considering the emotional whiplash her statement must have inspired.
“Wh- Are you… offering?”
“Well, I can’t speak for her, of course, but I’ll talk to her when she’s in a better state of mind. I’m sure she’d like to kiss you. She loves you, you know.”
Ukyo was clearly thrown by this.
“I, but I thought, that kiss…”
“Well, she loves me, of course. At least, I hope she does, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you as well. She has a lot of love to go around, and I wouldn’t mind having you around.”
Ukyo now looked at Akane in sheer amazement, all thoughts of magic forgotten.
“Akane, are you saying… You want to share Ranma?”
She shrugged, and smiled. Funny, the idea had seemed impossible just moments ago. Ranma was going to end up with one of them, and the rest would get squat. But now…
“Well, again, I’d have to ask her, but I certainly wouldn’t mind. Of course… it wouldn’t be fair if it was just you and Ranma and me and Ranma. One of us would always be feeling left out…”
She stepped closer to Ukyo, who didn’t withdraw. Instead, the taller girl looked down at her, still flustered.
“… You meant it? You… You want me to kiss you?”
Akane nodded as she stared into Ukyo’s eyes.
“I do. Don’t feel like you have to make a decision right away… but I do want to kiss you right now. I’ll see about getting you a chance to kiss Ranma later, after I’ve gotten things sorted out. Then… we can talk. But now…”
She stood up on tiptoe, and pursed her lips. She closed her eyes but watched through the slits as Ukyo raised her hands and paused awkwardly. She leaned in slightly closer, putting her arms around Ukyo’s waist, but not touching her lips. Only then did Ukyo give up, wrap her arms around Akane, and bring their lips into contact.
Unlike the other kisses, Akane let Ukyo do the work, pulling slightly rather than pushing ahead. And boy, did Ukyo deliver. She had clearly had practice, and while it started out as simply something pleasant, it heated up rapidly into something altogether more passionate. Akane let her leg pop up, like she had seen girls do in movies, and Ukyo moved her hands down to steady her. Ukyo’s lips were somewhere between Ranma and Shampoo in softness, and she tasted faintly like okonomiyaki sauce, of course. Akane felt the love in her heart for Ukyo increase under her gentle but loving touch. She thought of Ranma then, and of her kissing Ukyo like this, but instead of feeling guilt or jealousy, she only felt excitement at the thought of sharing this experience with Ranma. She would have to discuss this with Ranma very soon.
After a while, Ukyo emerged for breath, and Akane stepped back. She was blushing a bit this time, still excited from being kissed, but that was nothing compared to Ukyo, who had finally reached the same colour as Shampoo and Ranma. She was still standing, but only barely, a hungry smile on her face as she stared at Akane. Akane smiled back, then gently took her by the arm and led her back to her original chair and sat her down gently. Ukyo just stared at Akane, starstruck.
“That was amazing, Ucchan.”
Her blush suddenly deepened.
“I… I can call you Ucchan, can’t I? I just thought…”
Ukyo nodded, still looking dazed, and Akane’s smile returned full force. Ukyo’s eyes rapidly lost coherence in the face of Akane’s million-watt smile, the kind that had driven half the male population of Furinkan High to madness not too long ago.
“Great, Ucchan! Listen, I have to go. It’s long past time I talked things out with my father. I have some great ideas, and I’m going to get them done while I still feel this way. Just stay here for a bit. Look after Ranma and Sham-chan for me, okay?”
She didn’t know where Shampoo’s new nickname came from, but it felt more right to say the more she used it.
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay? Then, we can meet up in your restaurant afterwards to discuss what we’ll do with Ranma.”
Ukyo mumbled out something that sounded like “…Ranma?”
Akane smiled.
“Yes, Ranma. Our girlfriend, remember? That is, if she says yes… But let’s think about that tomorrow. Oh! The rain’s stopped! I’ve gotta go. See you soon, Ucchan! Be good, Sham-chan! See you at home, Ranma!”
Waving as she went, she left the Nekohanten, leaving three extremely discombobulated girls in various states of lovesickness to stew.