Chapter Text
“…That is way more money than I need for this.” Ranboo mumbles, scanning to make sure he counted the numbers of zeros correctly on the deposit into his account. The digits remain unchanged on the machine monitor as he goes over them one more time, just to be sure.
“Nahhh don’t worry about it bossman. If we’re getting all your gear today, you’re gonna want some extra to blow. And we can get lunch while we’re out!”
“I know I know, but still…” How could he even spend that much? Phil must have been overshooting by a ton.
“Whatever man.” A hand reached out and clicked the cancel button, returning the screen to the main menu and ejecting the card.
They both went for it, one a little more aggressively. A brunet head rammed into Ranboo’s side shoving him to the left, grabbed for the card before he even got close. With a victorious laugh, Tubbo bolted for the bank door while Ranboo stumbled after him, still rubbing his sides where his friend's horns tried to poke holes into his rib cage.
“Oh come on..”
“You come on! Tommy’s already there.” Tubbo reminded, waving his newly won prize in the air,
“And if he thinks we started without him there won’t be a mall to go to.” A giant, mischief filled grin broke through his façade and they both broke into laughter as they made their way down the sidewalk.
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The day was warm and sunny as they walked downtown. Several times Tubbo reached up and tried to snatch Ranboo’s sunglasses before immediately being swiped away. He complained all the squinting was going to give him “ premature forehead wrinkles” and Ranboo not giving him his glasses was a direct attack to his healthy skin.
“You don’t even need them!” Ranboo protested, “With all that hair in your face I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t have eyes to squint anyway.” He joked, poking where he presumed to be Tubbo’s forehead.
Tubbo stopped walking and immediately tried to square him up. Not very effectively as he was at least a good foot shorter, but he definitely tried. Scrunching his nose he poked back,
“Tough talk from you , Mister ‘I Wear My Glasses Literally Everywhere Just to Prove How Much Cooler I Am.’”
There was no malice to be found in Tubbo’s fake aggressiveness, but Ranboo gave a dramatic eye roll anyway and continued walking.
“Maybe it’s cuz I am cooler?” Ranboo taunted, “Ever thought of that?”
He slid down his glasses and gave a smug look to Tubbo, green and red eyes at an odd contrast to his mismatched skin, before having to 180 and sprint down the rest of the street as his somehow faster companion chased him down.
They crashed into each other at a stop light to keep from tumbling into the road. Purple sparks seemed to float around the two, buzzing and spiralling with energy.
“Yes, chat, we’re ok. We’re ok.” Ranboo waved them off to get them out of his face. Some seemed concerned but others buzzed with what was probably the particle equivalent of laughter.
“Ranboooooo tell your glitter dust to stop mocking us.” Tubbo whined as he stood up, pulling Ranboo with him.
The particles didn’t really speak, talking too quietly and high pitched to hear, but Tubbo seemed to understand them just as well as Ranboo did. It was nice to know he wasn’t as crazy looking while talking to no one anymore, and it was good for his own sanity to know it wasn’t his mind playing more tricks on him.
Would be better if they didn’t make fun of him so often and or worry about his every move though... You win some, you lose some, and Ranboo had gotten used to it by now. One might even say fond of them.
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A loud yell came from the other side of the crosswalk as a blond teenage boy in a pink tee shirt waved his hand high. As he crossed the street he pulled a small red and white backpack off his shoulders and began to rummage through it.
Slowing down as he did, a car waiting on the road honked at him to get a move on. He swung his head right around, facing the offending vehicle, and began to shout.
“The FUCK ? I’m fuckin walking on the crosswalk where I’m supposed to ya prick. Fuck off!!” He began to mutter more insults no mother would approve of as he shuffled faster to the sidewalk.
“ Fuckin cunt I’d clobber that bastard he doesn’t know who I am I swear I’ll get him one day I’ll get all of em fuckin twats- “
Meanwhile Tubbo and Ranboo had very quickly taken their attention to a nearby shop window as to not seem in any way associated with the road raging pedestrian. This effort was in vain though, as he called both of them by name immediately. They turned around barely quick enough to each fumble the water bottles he tossed their way.
“Tubs, my man, bee boy, big man, Tubbo! Hello king.” He greeted with a smile, throwing his arm around his best friend and clinking their bottles together in a toast.
“Ranboo.” He acknowledged with a stiff nod.
“Hi.”
“So! We’ve got a big day ahead of us!” He announced, miraculously regaining his previous good spirits. “Shopping time.”
“What plans do ya got for us, bossman?” Tubbo asked, giving him a light elbow jab to the side to get him off.
Turning on his heels, arms outstretched to the large shopping centre one block down, he announced very loudly and with no shame,
“ To the mall, lads! ”
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Stepping into the mall was a glorious affair. The cool air of the indoors felt like it had lifted a weighted blanket off the three of them, and they paused for a moment to take it all in.
“Right,” Ranboo clapped his hands together and regained the trio's focus. “What exactly are we here for?”
“Your villain outfit man!” Tubbo whisper shouted as he began to power march down the large hall, letting the other two follow in tow.
“We can’t just let you go out doing crime like that! You need to make a statement! Tell the world who you are and why you’re not to be FUCKED with.”
If Tubbo’s hushed yells were him trying to be discreet, maybe he shouldn’t be waving his arms around while he talks as if he’s trying to land a freaking plane. But oh well, no one’s paying much attention to them anyway. And even if they were, they’d probably think they were just more of those nerds too entertained by the thought of superpowers.
At least Ranboo hoped.
“Yeah, you need gear boob boy ” Tommy stressed. “Rather you don’t die out there. But if you did it’d be your own fault for being stupid.”
“Please don’t call me that-“
“Anyway,” He cut off, “here we are. This is where we get most of our things.”
They came to a stop at a store front. Inside Ranboo could see an explosion of colour, fabric, and props. It looked like a comic con had dumped their entire stock and decided to sell it all in one place.
“The SBI…one of the most powerful villain groups in the world… buys their gear at a cosplay store ..?”
Ranboo was bewildered. He had seen them on the news before, even Tommy coming in through the window in costume the day they had to explain everything, but he never got an up close look.
The SBI, or Sleepy Bois Inc, are highly respected villains of their time. Ghost, Blade, Crow, all seen as the most intimated forces to be reckoned with. Able to destroy whole city blocks and take down some of the most elite heroes the city could throw at them.
Even Tommy and Tubbo were nothing to be scoffed at. Taunt and Volt, the duo causing chaos wherever they went, seemingly evading all authorities with ease.
These were the scariest people in the country, and they invited Ranboo in. Picked up from the side of the road with no connections or memories to guide him, they brought him in, showed him their identities, and offered to train and work beside him. Not all at once, thank God, but the whole thing was still overwhelming and terrifying.
And it was made no better by the knowledge they buy their equipment from the cosplay shop .
“We don’t get all our stuff from here dipshit.” Tommy remarked, offended. “Just the costumes. And we improve them later. Now stop complaining and get looking. You’re lucky we came with you for this. If it were Wil you’d be here all bloody day.”
Tubbo snorted, everentally remembering a time of a similar occasion, and made his way to the back of the store. Tommy announced he’d be going to the GameStop next door and would meet them at the food court when they were done.
That left Ranboo standing alone in the beginnings of the store. He had no idea what he was looking for, really. Something to cover his identity? Something easy to move in? Something recognizable?
Phil had given him a lesson about how the heroes and villains dynamics worked nowadays. It was far less about the money robbed from a bank or the precious items stolen, and all about show. Hero vs villain battles were all about giving it your all to win because that’s what makes the best show. It pays the hero’s bills with news segments and glory, and it works for the villains because the heroes start pulling their punches, leaving them to do pretty much whatever they want.
This was all still a lot to take in. It had only been a few weeks since Ranboo was told about their whole other lives, only a few months since he knew them at all, and only a little longer than that where he has any recollection all together.
Seeming to sense his stress, or maybe out of pure boredom with no one else around, the purple particles started drifting out of Ranboo’s pockets and happily buzzed around.
“Hi chat.” A tense smile crept on his face as he waved his hands through a group of them, sending them gently flying with the air around them.
“Apparently I’ve been left to figure this out by myself. Any ideas?”
After a moment of consideration, the sparks seemed to excitedly drift to one side. He followed their lead close behind, as they couldn’t go very far, and they directed him to the mask rack.
A clump of them gathered together and sat on one. Black on one side, white on the other. Ranboo couldn’t tell if he should be offended or amused. He didn’t understand why his skin or eyes were the colours they were, but hey, Tubbo’s a freaking goat boy! Questions weren’t the way to go.
“Well, I need some sort of face covering anyway.” He takes the mask and goes to find Tubbo.
Tubbo, as it happened, was just on his way to find him, and as soon as they made brief eye contact he chucked some unknown dark purple thing and Ranboo caught it with his face.
“It’s a cloak. Figured it’d go well with your tall, dark, and mysterious vibe.” Tubbo explained in a teasing tone, though his suggestion was genuine.
“I do not have a ‘ tall, dark, and mysterious vibe’ ” Ranboo protested as he threw the fabric over his shoulders.
It was incredibly nice, with a soft faux silk underneath in a lighter purple than it’s rougher, darker outside. The hood comes over his head enough to provide cover but not be a nuisance, and the length only goes down to about half his forearm, just enough for a dramatic flair. All in all, it was pretty nice.
After buzzin happily with their approval, the particles began to fade. Some just dimmed till they vanished, some flew away, and others nested themselves in Ranboo’s hair or pockets until the next time they wanted attention.
Tubbo had picked up some other things along the way like some sewing supplies and a new frilly white shirt (apparently Techno stained one), and was making his way to the check out.
Ranboo followed, holding his mask and cloak. On the way he passed the button rack and one pin caught his eye. A golden crown button pin with little red and green gems in it seemed like it was calling his name. Without much thought he picked it up and continued on, grabbing a pair of fingerless fake leather gloves for style points.
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Once they made it out of the store, Ranboo refusing to look at how much that all cost, they went to meet Tommy at the food chort.
It wasn’t too busy. They had arrived a while after the lunch rush so all the shoppers were busy elsewhere and they found their table easily.
It’s also not like Tommy was hard to miss. 6’1 blond boy stuffing his face with Thai food and a red and white backpack on the table. He sat under the blaring mall TV, broadcasting some boring show about unloading storage garages.
Although, Ranboo and Tubbo weren’t exactly “blending in” too well either; a 6’6 boy with half dark purple skin, and a drastically smaller boy with seemingly half a face. How his friends kept their secret identities secret Ranboo will never know.
“Hey boys, any luck aye?” Tommy waved his chopsticks, moving his backpack off the table and inviting them to sit.
“Well, I got an outfit.” Ranboo said, shuffling through the bag far too large for what they had bought. Why stores did that Ranboo will also never know.
Tommy nodded solemnly with a mouth full of noodles as Tubbo picked out and stole the shrimp from the box.
“Good. Good. Alright, tools. What are ya thinking big man?”
Tommy gestured to Ranboo as if he’d have any clue what kind of “tools” he was supposed to want.
“I don’t know..what kind of tools do you have?”
Tubbo snorted and gave Tommy’s backpack a kick under the table.
“Oi! There’s some valuable stuff in there you dick!” Tommy scolded.
“No there’s not.” Tubbo laughed. He turned back to Ranboo, “You don’t want what’s in there. There’s probably like two ropes, a flashlight, and a three week old half eaten sandwich.”
Tommy tried to protest but Tubbo wouldn’t hear it. He just continued to laugh and attempt to tell the story of a rotting orange he found once deep at the very bottom.
Ranboo laughed with him until he suddenly felt very on edge. The whole food court went silent with a good portion of them looking at their table.
The attention made Ranboo’s skin crawl. He didn’t really like people looking at him in general, let alone a whole crowd. It wasn’t until Tubbo whacked his arm and gestured to the tv did he realize what they were actually looking at.
“Supervillains Blade and Ghost are currently wreaking havoc downtown.No injuries or major damages yet. Our sources say heroes Dream and 404 are on their tail as we speak, but they are on the move.” The news reporter relays through crackling speakers.
“All residents in downtown sector four be cautious and leave the area if possible.”
The screen cuts to helicopter footage of the city streets. Four indistinguishable people were running down the centre of the road, winding through traffic and deflecting attacks from their assailants.
As the camera zooms out it shows they were coming to a large building, and as soon as they got close enough they began to scale the walls. There was a lot more room to move around and fight up there, but the parts of the roof made of glass were making Ranboo a little uneasy.
“Hey isn’t that-“ but before Tubbo could finish, a giant crash came from the centre skylight and a body slammed into the floor raining shattered glass.
Everyone in the food court was still for three whole counts before chaos erupted. Tables were turned over, meals were left behind, and children were dragged away screaming in an effort to get away.
The trio stood still, having risen from their seats but not moved from their table. Their breaths still as they waited for any sign of movement from the man on the ground.
After a moment of grumbling however, he did get up. His large build seemed to tower over everything, despite no person being any closer than 20 feet. His large red cape rose with him as he did, glass shards tinkling to the ground from where they got caught in the fabric. He picked up his golden crown from the floor and placed it on his head while adjusting the boar skull mask on his face.
Everything about him seemed scary, intimidating, and large . His clothes looked of royalty and his long pink braid was a stark contrast to whatever friendly connotation the colour pink would normally have.
He grabbed a small vile from an inside pocket of his cape and smashed it at his feet. Green shimmering mist flowed upward till it looked like he was glowing, and he laughed.
“That wasn’t very hero-like of you, Dream.” He called out to the hole in the ceiling, chuckling. “You ripped my cape. This kind of fabric is expensive.”
Giving himself a running start, the villain jumped to the sky, higher than should ever be possible by anyone.
And just like that, he was gone.
After a moment the trio finally looked back at each other. Tommy’s long forgotten pad Thai knocked to the floor.
“ Right .” Tommy started after a shaky breath. “We should get moving.”
“Agreed.”