Work Text:
In retrospect, he probably should have seen it coming. Well, maybe not the exact circumstances, but the general idea that baiting a trap with something everyone in the world wanted might, just possibly, not be the best thing to do if what you wanted to do was catch someone specific. And to do so when there was a Potter nearby was never going to end well. Why on earth had he allowed himself to forget the Potter effect?
The first inkling that all was not going according to plan was during the morning mail call at breakfast, the day after the students had arrived. A school owl swooped down with a small lumpy package accompanied by an unsigned note that read simply: That was fun! In fact it was so much fun we couldn’t resist adding some new touches of our own. Do we pass?
Casting a few detection spells on the package (one can never be too safe in a school that has bored pranksters), Albus tentatively started to unwrap the package, only to stop when he caught a glimpse of a familiar glowing red stone. Paling, he hastily rewrapped it and passed the note to Minerva.
“Is that from...”
“The Weasley Twins.” Minerva replied after a glance at the handwriting. She in turn passed the note to Severus along with an open palm. Severus read it, glanced at the package in Albus’ hand, and with the faintest smirk dropped several galleons into Minerva’s hand.
“Excuse me Albus,” She said, pushing her chair back from the table, “but I simply have to know what they added.” Pomona grabbed her sleeve as she walked past.
“Minerva dear, it will be so much funnier if we wait and see which of the students gets caught by it. You know they will.” Pomona whispered conspiratorially, and after a moment of consideration, Minerva sat back down to finish her breakfast.
=======
The next morning at breakfast it was Pomona’s turn to reach out an open palm to Severus when the students curiously watched Nymphadora Tonks walk up to the table with a slight limp, flicking canary feathers off her clothing only pausing to glare at the twins before grinning at them and holding up a score card with a seven written on it. She dropped a familiar looking package on Dumbledore’s plate and everyone in the room that was paying attention twitched slightly at the intense whisper session that broke out between the twins and Lee.
Albus looked at her blankly.
“Didn’t you graduate last year?” He asked slowly.
“Details.” She said waving him off.
“No, really, I’m almost positive you graduated. What are you doing here?” He persisted as he tried to subtly slip the package into his robes.
“Well, when you warned everyone about terrible danger, Susan Bones wrote to her Aunt, Amelia discussed it with Moody, and he thought it would make a great training exercise for me to infiltrate the castle and investigate. It’s got nothing on Moody’s normal training, so I updated it a bit. If I have to suffer so does everyone else.” She tripped a little as she leaned in to talk to Snape without being overheard.
“Between you and me sir, was it your idea to have the Twins booby trap your puzzle or theirs? Because that was kind of brilliant.” He smirked at her very slightly as she groaned and continued. “Moody is going to run me through the ringer for not suspecting you might have lied or booby trapped all the potions.”
“As he should. You know better than to trust me Miss Tonks.” Snape said with a chiding look. “Still, you did get what you were after, so I imagine he’ll only run you half dead before pausing to write a howler to Albus.” It was Tonk’s turn to smirk as she turned to wave cheerfully at her head of house before excusing herself to have words with her favorite proteges.
===========
The following morning Albus stayed in his office in anticipation of Moody’s howler. His old, very paranoid friend had very definite thoughts when it came to security, and a fresh wet behind the ears trainee slipping through it was not going to go over well.
He was thus surprised when a school owl bearing a parchment of several feet in length detailing proper safety procedures and ranting about unsanitary rooms and the illegal housing conditions for a fully grown Cerberus arrived. From Percy Weasley. Who also made his intentions clear he intended to have Professor Flitwick start a mandatory music class, because really. It was entirely too irresponsible to have a Cerberus in a school full of children with no musical training except those in Professor Flitwick’s choir.
By the end of it Albus was on his tenth lemon drop and rubbing his head to chase away the growing headache... and that’s when the howler from Moody finally arrived.
============
A week of fishing students out of the Devil’s snare after they tried repeatedly using it as a trampoline was enough to wear on anyone’s nerves. Albus was mostly managing to ignore the fact that Fluffy was looking increasingly chubby (after counting noses at meal times to reassure himself that no children were missing). This approach was working for him until he walked straight into a group of Hufflepuff first year students who had Fluffy on a leash and were walking him through the hallway to the main entrance of the school, feeding him armloads of treats as they went.
There was a bit of an awkward stare down (as Albus tried to work out how in Merlin’s name first years got Fluffy to fit through the door in the first place) before Miss Abbott informed him rather imperiously that dogs needed to be taken for walks and exercise regardless of their species and that he, Professor Dumbledore WOULD allow it. No one with such a great reputation would ever stoop so low as to abuse a poor sweet dog now would he? Next to her Miss Bones said nothing, but arched an eyebrow in challenge.
Albus mentally threw up his hands and led them to the secret passage way that was used to bring Fluffy into the castle, and extracted a promise from them not to tell anyone else and only take him for walks after curfew (and yes, he would give them a special pass).
==========
“So you mean to tell me Harry isn’t the least bit curious about the third floor corridor?” Albus asked during one of the staff meetings some weeks later. Hagrid smiled proudly.
“ ‘e’s a well behaved lad is our Harry. Keep ‘is nose clean, don’t pester me with questions. Such a polite little mite.” Hagrid went on. Albus was surprised when Severus didn’t contradict this. Severus caught his look and sneered.
“I cannot fathom how any spawn of Potter’s could possibly be so... so...”
“Ordinary?” Said Minerva somewhat sadly. Severus nodded.
“Exactly. He doesn’t stand out in any way. If it weren’t for the Potter Effect I’d never even realize he was there.”
“P...P...Potter effect?” stammered Professor Quirrell looking confused as Albus cursed inwardly. He knew he’d forgotten to account for something. Half the staff groaned as Filius leaned forward, eyes sparkling.
“You are of course familiar with Murphy’s law, yes?” Quirrell nodded perplexed.
“Well the Potter Effect could be best described as anything that can go... strange will go strange. You simply can’t plan for the weirdness that happens around them.” He got a thoughtful look on his face. “I don’t know if they were cursed or if it’s a family gift. James Potter mostly channeled his into pranks. Controlled outbursts of the bizarre as it were. There’s a reason why that family has a strong pranking tradition. Harry though...” He trailed off sadly for a moment. “Well, clearly he wasn’t around anyone to teach him about it and however he was raised seems to have erased any spark of mischief from him at all.”
“Do you think we should have a word with the Weasley Twins? Get them to take him under their wing?” Aurora asked hesitantly. “I mean it’s funny now? But that sounds like it has the potential to be dangerous. Wouldn’t another school prankster really be easier to handle?”
“Absolutely not.” Minerva instantly shot the idea down. “Oh, not the encouraging him to be a prankster bit” she added as an afterthought. “Telling the Weasley Twins. They’d see it as the biggest prank ever to keep him being as ordinary as possible. You know they would.” Everyone shuddered as they thought about it.
“Talking to the boy directly is right out.” Severus added. “He is barely willing to admit magic is real. He’d never believe this. Especially as he never seems to see half the effects of it himself.”
Albus was only barely paying attention as he continued to silently curse himself up one side and down the other for forgetting the Potter Effect when he placed Harry with the Dursley’s. He was rather afraid to find out what the neighborhood of Little Whinging looked like after ten years of forcing Harry to be normal. A rebounded killing curse? Really? Things didn’t get much stranger than that. It was bizarre to realize he’d never given it... a... second... thought... oh bloody hell.
=========
A first year student by the name of Sally Ann Perks tucked herself into a secluded nook with a very ordinary boy who’s shoulders were shaking. Quickly casting a silencing charm and a notice-me-not, the two fell into each other’s arms laughing.
“You were right Nicholas!” She gasped between giggles. “This is way more fun than staying in France while Harry is in school!” Nicholas grinned back at her, green eyes sparkling with mischief.
“How long do you think before my old student goes completely barmy trying to get ‘Harry’ to investigate , stop the rest of the students from investigating, and trying to catch Voldemort?”
“Poor dear.” Sally said in mock sympathy. “Do you think he’s realized yet that isn’t the real stone?” Nicholas shook his head.
“He deserves every moment of this for taking our decoy without asking. Not that we even had to do much. A few words here and there where we could be overheard and then we just sit back and watch the show.”
“I’m rather put out with his plans for poor Harry.” Sally’s eyes darkened. “I’m so glad we got him away from those awful people.” She sniffed. “Besides, he’ll do so much better with a properly civilized education.” Nicholas nodded soberly before brightening.
“So... did you drop a line to the Evil League of Evil and the Villain’s Guild that the Stone is here?” Sally shook her head.
“I thought that was you.” They looked at each other for a moment. “You don’t suppose...”
“That the Potter Effect is real?” Nicholas finished. They considered it and shook their heads. “Really, what are the odds of that?”